interesting quotes

DCI, Inc.

“ “ I’m thirty years old, but I I’m thirty years old, but I read at the thirty-four read at the thirty-four

year old level.”year old level.” Dana Dana

CarveyCarvey

DCI, Inc.

““My Grandma started walking My Grandma started walking five miles a day when she five miles a day when she was seventy. She’s eighty-was seventy. She’s eighty-

seven now and we don’t seven now and we don’t know where the hell she is.”know where the hell she is.”

Dennis Dennis MillerMiller

DCI, Inc.

““If you are caught on a golf If you are caught on a golf course during a storm and course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even GOD up a 1-iron. Not even GOD

can hit a 1-iron.”can hit a 1-iron.” Lee Lee

TrevinoTrevino

DCI, Inc.

“ “ I’ll Moider Da Bum…”I’ll Moider Da Bum…”

Response from Rocky Response from Rocky Marciano when asked what Marciano when asked what

he thought of William he thought of William ShakespeareShakespeare

DCI, Inc.

“ “ Guys who think too much Guys who think too much about the future end up about the future end up

layin’ on the canvas sayin’ layin’ on the canvas sayin’ “Where am I?”“Where am I?”

George George ForemanForeman

DCI, Inc.

“ “ You make the beds, you do You make the beds, you do the dishes, and then six the dishes, and then six months later you have to months later you have to

start all over again.”start all over again.”

Joan Joan RiversRivers

DCI, Inc.

“ “ I was raised in such a small I was raised in such a small town, the zip code there was town, the zip code there was

E-I-E-I-O.”E-I-E-I-O.”

Will Will RogersRogers

DCI, Inc.

“ “ I was walking down the I was walking down the street wearing glasses when street wearing glasses when

the prescription ran out.”the prescription ran out.”

Steven Steven WrightWright

DCI, Inc.

“ “ Some mornings it just Some mornings it just doesn’t seem worth it to doesn’t seem worth it to gnaw through the leather gnaw through the leather

straps.”straps.”

Jim Jim BelushiBelushi

DCI, Inc.

“ “ Always look out for Number Always look out for Number One and be careful not to One and be careful not to

step in Number Two.”step in Number Two.”

Rodney Rodney DangerfieldDangerfield

DCI, Inc.

“ “ We had a quicksand box in We had a quicksand box in our back yard. I was an only our back yard. I was an only

child,…eventually.”child,…eventually.”

Steven Steven WrightWright

DCI, Inc.

“ “ My plastic surgeon told me My plastic surgeon told me my face looked like a my face looked like a bouquet of elbows.”bouquet of elbows.”

Phyllis Phyllis DillerDiller

DCI, Inc.

“ “ Being a friend to somebody you’d Being a friend to somebody you’d

rather be in love with, is like rather be in love with, is like being invited behind the barn to being invited behind the barn to look at the stars, and just lookin’ look at the stars, and just lookin’

at the stars”at the stars”

Will Will RogersRogers

DCI, Inc.

“ “ When Sears comes out with When Sears comes out with a riding vacuum cleaner, a riding vacuum cleaner,

then I’ll clean the house.”then I’ll clean the house.”

Roseanne Roseanne BarrBarr

DCI, Inc.

“ “ I’m not a vegetarian because I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals; I’m a I love animals; I’m a

vegetarian because I hate vegetarian because I hate plants.”plants.”

A. A. Whitney BrownWhitney Brown

DCI, Inc.

“ “ I had plastic surgery last I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit week. I cut up my credit

cards.” cards.”

Henny Henny YoungmanYoungman

DCI, Inc.

“ “ My wife’s so blond that My wife’s so blond that when I locked my keys in the when I locked my keys in the

car, I had to break the car, I had to break the windshield to get her out.”windshield to get her out.”

Red Red SkeltonSkelton

DCI, Inc.

“ “ Whenever my kids become Whenever my kids become wild and unruly, I use a wild and unruly, I use a nice,safe playpen. When nice,safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb they’re finished, I climb

out.”out.” Erma BombeckErma Bombeck

DCI, Inc.

““My theory of evolution is that My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.”Darwin was adopted.”

Steven Steven WrightWright

DCI, Inc.

“ “ Physics lesson: When the Physics lesson: When the body is submerged in water, body is submerged in water,

the phone rings.”the phone rings.”

Conan Conan O’BrienO’Brien

DCI, Inc.

“ “ I don’t go by ‘the book’. I’ve I don’t go by ‘the book’. I’ve never seen ‘the book’. I never seen ‘the book’. I

don’t know who wrote it. don’t know who wrote it. Until I get my hands on it, I’ll Until I get my hands on it, I’ll

keep on using my common keep on using my common sense”sense”

Bum Bum PhillipsPhillips

DCI, Inc.

“ “ If you shoot at mimes, do If you shoot at mimes, do you need a silencer?”you need a silencer?”

Steven Steven WrightWright

DCI, Inc.

“ “ You know you’re getting old You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your when you stoop to tie your

shoes and wonder what else shoes and wonder what else you can do while you’re you can do while you’re

down there.”down there.”

George George BurnsBurns

DCI, Inc.

“ “ I’ve never met a slender, I’ve never met a slender, pretty girl that I didn’t want pretty girl that I didn’t want

to punch.”to punch.”

Rosie Rosie O’DonnellO’Donnell

DCI, Inc.

“ “ It is better to be a widow’s It is better to be a widow’s second husband than her second husband than her

first.”first.”

Larry KingLarry King

DCI, Inc.

“ “ Marriage is like a fiddle: the Marriage is like a fiddle: the strings are there whether strings are there whether

the music’s playin’ or not.”the music’s playin’ or not.”

Roy ClarkRoy Clark

DCI, Inc.

“ “ Oh well, half of one, six Oh well, half of one, six dozen of the other.”dozen of the other.”

Joe Joe GaragiolaGaragiola

DCI, Inc.

“ “ Some guy hit my fender, and Some guy hit my fender, and I said to him, “Be fruitful I said to him, “Be fruitful and multiply”, but not in and multiply”, but not in

those words.”those words.”

Woody Woody AllenAllen