how to see the lion in your mirror, a presentation by joe tye

How to See the Lion in the Mirror – Promoting

a More Positive and Productive Workplace

By Joe Tye, CEO and Head CoachValues Coach Inc.

Copyright © 2013, Values Coach Inc.

Self Made Man by Bobbie Carlyle

Breaking through the invisible ceiling on the performance potential of your people and of your organization

This afternoon we’ll explore 7 practical strategies but first let’s look at your…

Brain plasticity

What modern brain science tells us

“We are seeing evidence of the brain’s ability to remake itself throughout adult life, not only in response to outside stimuli, but even in response to directed mental effort...”

“We are seeing, in short, the brain’s potential to correct its own flaws and enhance its own capabilities.”

You can rewire the hardware by reprogramming the software!

Using The Pyramid of Self-Belief™ to build a stronger level of self-belief throughout the organization.

Self-belief is developed at four levels, each of which builds upon the other.

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One of the key responsibilities of leadership is framing the collective self-concept – is it the best of times or the worst of times, a time of great risk or of great opportunity?

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You will never on a sustained basis exceed the boundaries of what is allowed by your own self-image. That’s why…

No one ever really “wins” the lottery.

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People with low self-esteem cheat themselves by settling for anemic dreams and goals.

They cheat the rest of us by not giving us the best they are capable of giving.

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Our job as leaders includes giving people the confidence that our organization can meet and prevail over the challenges that the world will throw at us.

Strategy #1

Make fear your ally

“Courage is the most important of all virtues, because it makes all of the other virtues possible.”

Winston Churchill

“Courage is all of the other virtues at the point at which they are tested.”

C.S. Lewis

The absence of fear is not courage!

The absence of fear is…

No Fear, No Courage…

Big Fear, Big Courage…

Anxiety

Fear

Worry

Anxiety

Three bad things happen when you in the thrall of anxiety…

Bad Thing #1

Memory is distorted: past successes seem small and insignificant while past failures seem huge and certain to be repeated.

Bad Thing #2

Perception is distorted: the dangers facing you are blown out of proportion while you underestimate the resources you have.

Bad Thing #3

Vision is distorted: you cannot see the possibilities for a great outcome because you are so fixated on images of doom.

The Performance-Anxiety Curve

Anxiety tries to become fear.

Paul Tillich: The Courage to Be

Fear

Fear can paralyze or it can catalyze

You’ve heard that the acronym F.E.A.R. stands for Fantasized Evidence Appearing Real.It also stands for…

Fabulous Excuse for Avoiding Responsibility

Fear is your ally when...

Good Thing #1

It alerts you to the fact that you are not ready for some potential future event.

Good Thing #2

It galvanizes you to take action.

Good Thing #3

It opens your eyes to the fact you are on the wrong path in life (one reason “midlife crisis” is so often a time of searing anxiety).

Good Thing #4

When it is a call to focus*

* Procrastination is always rooted in fear

Good Thing #5

When it is a call to faith*

* Faith begins at the point where certainty ends

Terror or exhilaration?

Are people afraid of change?

Worry

Worry is like paying interest on a debt that you probably don’t even owe!

Is it a problem or is it a predicament?

Strategy #2

Make adversity your teacher

Every great accomplishment was once the “impossible dream” of a dreamer who simply refused to quit when things got tough.

Ten Laws of Adversity

Law #1

The rain will fall and bad things will happen to good people – including you

Law #2

Crisis creates opportunity

Law #3

You must pass through the valley of the shadow.

Law #4

Falling on your face is good for your head

Law #5

Whether it’s the best of times or the worst of times is your choice

Law #6

One door closes, another door opens

Law #7

Without the valleys, you won’t appreciate the mountains.

Law #8

There are millions of others who would love to have your problems

Law #9

Dare most when times are darkest.

Law #10

Sometimes you meet the most important people in your life when you are flat on your back.

Don’t forget to laugh.

No matter what happens:

Thank God Ahead of Time

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Strategy #3

The Janitor in Your Attic™ to erase the malignant echo of negative self-talk

Toxic emotional negativity is ALWAYS an outer projection of inner misery…

Hence “co-miserate” – to be miserable together.

There is an invisible barrier on the potential of your organization

The collective self-talk, self-image, and self-belief of your people will either be the wind in your sails or the anchor holding you back.

The Inner Child is shadowed by an Inner Spoiled Brat

The split personality of your Inner Spoiled Brat

If only we won the lottery!

The Whiner

You don’t deserve to win the lottery!

The Screamer

The most important speech any of us ever give (the one you were never trained to give) is...

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What is the first word a child learns to say?

For a variety of evolutionary reasons, the human mind automatically gravitates toward negative, frightening and depressing thoughts.

Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi: The Evolving Self: A Psychology for the New Millennium

Experts refer to ANTs – automatic negative thoughts

Psychologists say that up to 80% of self-talk is negative – and that we can abuse ourselves at a speed of 400 words per minute!

And much of it is below the level of conscious awareness, like graffiti on a subway car: after a while you don’t notice it

You would never tolerate anyone else speaking to you the way you allow your spoiled inner brat to get away with.

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A crucial point!

That voice will always be in the second person. It’s not you talking!!!

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What you are hearing is the malignant echo of nasty things said to you long ago that hurt, stuck, and metastasized (that’s what cancer does).

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Two steps to using the power of Metaphorical Visualization™ to erase the graffiti of negative self-talk:

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Step #1

Visualize the words as clearly as you possibly can as graffiti that has been scrawled on the walls of your mental attic.

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Step #2

Visualize a janitor (The Janitor in Your Attic™) painting over the graffiti and replacing it with positive affirmations.

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Caveat!

For your challenge to your Spoiled Inner Brat to be credible you must also take action if what Brat says is factually accurate.

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Strategy #4

Make your body play a constructive part in that inner dialogue…

How your body tells your mind what to feel…

Watch this TED talk by Amy Cuddy!

How your mouth tells your mind what to think…

An essential lesson from “the best damn ship in the Navy”

Smile from the outside in and you’ll eventually be smiling from the inside out.

Strategy #5

Leave behind the emotional baggage

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Strategy #6

Create memories of the future

Do you read your horoscope?

Joe’s Youroscope

A breakthrough concept emerges back at the office today. A great day to make a difference, make a friend, and make a decision and...

Joe’s Youroscope (contd.)

A great new opportunity will come from out of the blue, but it will be well-disguised – so pay attention and focus, and…

Joe’s Youroscope (contd.)

Call your Mom

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You can remember the future more clearly and more accurately than you can remember the past.

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The difference between wishful thinking and positive thinking…

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Wishful thinking is hoping for something and waiting for someone else to make it happen.

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Positive thinking is expecting something and working to make it happen.

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The 6-As for creating Memories of the Future

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1. AspirationYou gotta want it – without ambition we would all still be hunting and gathering.

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2. ArticulationYou need to describe your dream in a way that others can see it.

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3. AffirmationBecause we dream in pictures but we worry in words.

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4. AskingThe Aladdin Factor is asking the right question of the right person at the right time.

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5. ActionAction transforms fear into fire; accumulation of many small actions yields big results.

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6. AdaptationBecause, as von Moltke said, no plan survives contact with the enemy.

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Wear your Dream next to your heart

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Five times every morning and two things every day.

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A Memory of the Future creates healthy cognitive dissonance

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Strategy #7

Take to heart the seven promises of The Self-Empowerment Pledge™

“I attribute my success to the fact that I never gave or took an excuse.”

Florence Nightingale

Seven Simple Promises That Will Change Your

Life*

* One for each day of the week.

The Pledge is a great way to foster a more empowering culture!

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Watch the YouTube video – half of these people are not reading it!

If you knew it would change your life for the better – profoundly and permanently – would you…

Would you give up one television commercial a day for a year?

You

bet!If your answer is yes, here’s what you need to do.

Every morning start your day by making that day’s promise – which will take you about 15 seconds.

Repeat the promise again in in the middle of your work day.

Once more before you leave for home.

I am responsible,

accountable, and

determined!

And one more time right before you go to bed.

4 x 15 seconds = 1 minute

Repeat these promises like you really mean them!

Let’s take a look at the seven promises…

Here’s WHY it works…

You keep promising yourself that you will be responsible, accountable, and determined; make a contribution, be resilient in the face of adversity, have a positive perspective, and that your faith will shine through.

Then you catch yourself whining and complaining, procrastinating, gossiping, blaming others for your problems, taking when you should be giving, and pretendingthat you have no power.

You end up with what psychologists call… Cognitive Dissonance

Which is trying to simultaneously hold two incompatible beliefs

I am responsible,

accountable, and

determined! It’s not my fault,

they did it to me,

this is so unfair.

At that point, one of two things MUST happen. Either you take the easy way and stop making the promises…

Or you keep making the promises until you begin to change your attitudes and yourbehaviors.

And as you do that, you will begin to achieve better results in every dimension of your life.

Read these seven promises one more time…

Now ask yourself these two questions…

Question #1:

If you personally were to take these seven promises to heart, would you be better off than where you are headed now – personally, professionally, financially, and spiritually?

Question #2:

If everyone where you work made a good faith effort to live these seven promises, would you do a better job of serving customers and of supporting each other?

If your answer to these two questions is…

And if you’re being honest, that’s what your answer will be.

Then why wouldn’t you invest those 365 minutes in yourself? Do it, because no one can empower you but you.

Will you do it? Will you give up one TV commercial a day…

To change your life?

And one last thing…

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Think Big

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Start Small

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Start Now

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