how jesus taught me to forgive and love
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How Jesus taught me to Forgive & Love1
How Jesus taught me to Forgive & Love 2
How Jesus taught me to Forgive & Love3
HOW JESUS TAUGHT ME TO
FORGIVE&
LOVE
How Jesus taught me to Forgive & Love 4
How Jesus taught me to Forgive & Love5
HOW JESUS TAUGHT ME TO
FORGIVE&
LOVE(Sharing of Experience)
George Ettuparayil
www.kottayamflowers.com
Kottayam2010
How Jesus taught me to Forgive & Love 6
HOW JESUS TAUGHT ME TOFORGIVE &LOVE
GEORGE ETTUPARAYIL
Author’s Address:George.N.X, Ettuparayil Near Police Club, Collectorate.P.O. Kottayam – 686 002, Kerala, India.
E-mail : georgenx@gmail.com
Published By : www.kottayamflowers.com
Copyright : Author
Cover : Milen Jacob (www.gratiads.com)
You can read this book through www.forgiveandlove.com &
You can buy this book through www.kottayamflowers.comVerisign secure
How Jesus taught me to Forgive & Love7
Foreword : Palai K.M.Mathew
Preface
CONTENTS
PART ONE
How Jesus Taught Me to Overcome
My Hatred
1. “With My prayers you will not overcome your hatred”
2. See God through Jesus Christ
3. Countdown to my repentance
4. What I have to search for?
5. Thirst for the Holy Spirit
6. How can I receive the Holy Spirit?
7. With the help of Jesus I ask for forgiveness
PART TWO
How Jesus Taught Me to Forgive
1. Scared to open the Book of Genesis
2. What God said to Adam?
3. What the Devil told Eve
4. God never punished Adam and Eve
5. How much the Devil controlled Me!
6. God’s Righteousness
How Jesus taught me to Forgive & Love 8
PART THREE
How Jesus Taught Me to Love
1. My Great Fall
2. How I can receive God’s love and Jesus in my Spirit
3. Rubbing Gold
4. People who live for the Lord
5. A mind to Love
6. For what purpose did God create me?
7. If God never punishes
8. Forgive us the wrongs
9. Eternal life
10. Whoever does not believe will be condemned
11. The Last Supper
12. “So if you are about to offer your gift to God at the altar”
13. A Prayer of Thanks
14. How I can love God
15. Lamenting God
Prayer
How Jesus taught me to Forgive & Love9
Dedicated To My Grand Mothers
Aleyamma George Baby Thomas Ettuparayil Vachaparambil
I dedicate this book to my father’s mother who had told us theloving stories of Jesus Christ in our childhood and to my mother’smother who had inspired me with the story of Dominic Savio andtold me to live for the Lord.
How Jesus taught me to Forgive & Love 10
(My Grandmother with blessed Mother Teresa)
During my school days I was able to meet Mother
Teresa at the Bishop House of Vijayapuram Diocese
at Kottayam. I got the opportunity to spend some
time with Mother. She told me that “God loves you
and you have to live for the Lord.”
How Jesus taught me to Forgive & Love11
Foreword
“Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”
Jesus Christ prayed when they crucified him on the Skull Place
along with the two criminals.
In this liberating and enriching book, “How Jesus Taught me to
Forgive & Love,” the author George Ettuparayil shows us how to tap
into the power of our higher selves and live happily, regardless of
what our profession or work is, with a greater sense of peace and
fulfilment.
The author reveals the essential steps to help us understand how
to overcome the great evil of hatred and how we can change our way
of life, rejecting our hateful and sinful thoughts and feelings totally.
This book discusses hatred and malice — physical, emotional
and spiritual — and helps us understand why we suffer from this and
how we can cope with it successfully by uplifting ourselves into a
life of “Forgiveness and love.” The book is most valuable in restor-
ing our soul in today’s self-seeking culture that teaches us hatred,
selfishness and combat.
Inspiring, illuminating and uplifting, “Forgiveness & love” make
the sincere words of this young writer help us find the true beauty of
love and compassion in human life. I wish him all success in his
noble endeavours.
Pala K.M.Mathew
August, 2009
How Jesus taught me to Forgive & Love 12
How Jesus taught me to Forgive & Love13
Preface
From my childhood I used to dream a lot. But in my life I never
dreamt of writing a book. I struggled with hatred with one of my
relatives for more than twelve years. It was like living in an air-
conditioned room with a rotten rat. When I shared my experiences
with one of my friends, Father Michael Panachikkal about how Jesus
Christ helped me to get rid of my hatred, he told me to write this
experience in a book.
I was surprised to hear this from Father Michael, because writing
a book is not at all a feasible dream. And in my life so far I have
never even read a novel. I shared this opinion with Father, and then
Father replied, “When we first met, you told me that your desire is to
get rid of your hatred. With the help of Jesus you have overcome
your hatred, now with the help of Jesus you try to write the book.”
This book was written with the help of Jesus Christ. The chapters
of Mathew, Mark, Luke and John in the New Testament and the
chapters referring to Adam and Eve, in the Genesis chapter of the
Old Testament from the Holy Bible and the story of the people who
lived for Jesus Christ helped me to write this book. The messages
about Jesus I heard from spiritual people also helped me in writing
this book.
When the first part of the book was shown to my friend Bobban,
he said, “Giju (my relatives and friends call me Giju), how can you
say God is love and see a loving God in your financial failure?”
I replied to my friend in this way, “When I first heard from Father
Michel the message that God never punishes, even though, I was
not able to receive that message at that time, I never rejected it.
How Jesus taught me to Forgive & Love 14
The message about Jesus I received in my childhood from my par-
ents, relatives, catechism, Jesuits magazine’ ‘Snehasena’ and the
movie about Jesus, helped me not to reject the fact that God never
punishes.”
But when I grew up, I started to believe that God is love but also
punishes, and I believed that God is a person who is keeping the
records of the wrongs of the people.
During my financial crisis, I was sleepless because of the ten-
sion. At that time I didn’t know what will happen the next day. During
this fearful time I started to see God through Jesus Christ’s work.
When I started to walk with Jesus he helped me to get rid of my
hatred and taught me to forgive and to love others.
I am sharing this experience with you in this book.
When I was able to get out of my hatred, my 14-year-old daughter
Mekha said, “Appa, how were you able to get rid of your hatred?” On
another occasion when I told my 8-year-old son Mikhale that he has
to pray for others to fill them with the Holy Spirit, he said, “how will I
receive the Holy Spirit when I pray for others?” These instances
influenced me to write this book.
The raw form of the book was first read by my father N.G. Xavier
and my wife Binu. The title, “How Jesus Taught Me to Forgive &
Love” was selected by my wife. She knows that it was only because
of Jesus that I was able to get rid of my hatred.
I am deeply indebted to Father Michael Panachikkal for making
me write this book and to our neighbour Mr. Pala K.M.Mathew (scholar,
writer, former Member of Indian Parliament) who after reading the
book asked me to publish it.
Besides these two eminent men of society, I am equally obliged
to our neighbour Mrs.June Jose Kudakasseril (Vice Principal
Pallikoodam School, Kottayam) for encouraging me whole-heartedly.
She has spent a lot of her valuable time in editing this work.
How Jesus taught me to Forgive & Love15
I thank Mr.K.M.Mathew, the Chief Editor of the Malayala
Manorama newspaper for releasing the Malayalam version. My thanks
also goes to Mr. K. Babu Joseph, former Vice Chancellor of Cochin
University, Kerala for valuable inputs.
I also thank Mr. Jose T.Thomas (Former Chief News Editor,
Deepika Daily), my uncle Mr.M.P. Ommen, my father’s brother
Mr.N.G.John (Film Producer) and Mr.Mathew George, Mr. Thomas
George, Kadamapuzha Chackochen (Retired Prof. of Loyola Col-
lege, Chennai), Thomas Thoppil (Retd. Prof. of St.Thomas College,
Pala), Joshy Mathew (Film Director), Molly Mathew, and my friends
Boban, Bose, Raju, Shibu, Sajan, Tony, Mathew, Prasanthipe, Unni,
Sodher and my brother Sunil George Melamparambil.
The edition of the Bible referred to, in this is the Good News Bible
of St.Pauls (India). I thank St.Pauls (India).
I thank Mini Surendran and Rathi G Nair for DTP work.
I thank our staff in our Boutique Threads & Petals.
I thank readers of the Malayalam version of this book.
I thank Milen for designing the cover page and also my friend
Arun R for designing the website.
I don’t know how to thank my Master, Jesus Christ, for not only
helping me to shed my hatred but also helping me to narrate my
experiences.
George Ettuparayil
Kottayam
How Jesus taught me to Forgive & Love 16
How Jesus taught me to Forgive & Love17
HOW JESUS TAUGHT METO OVERCOME MY
HATRED
I
How Jesus taught me to Forgive & Love 18
How Jesus taught me to Forgive & Love19
“With my prayers you willnot overcome your Hatred”
Years ago I was attending a spiritual retreat at the Divine Centre
at Muringoor, Kerala (India). The person who was counselling me
said, “Giju, you have hatred in your mind.” At that time I was not
able to accept this fact.
Later, I had an opportunity to meet Fr. Arayathanal (Chackochen)
at the Paritrana Retreat Centre in Kottayam, my hometown. With
the help of Fr. Arayathanal, when I looked at myself as Jesus Christ
would have done I found that I was on the wrong side of life. Jesus
pointed out the intense hatred in me. From that moment onwards, I
had a great desire to overcome it.
At Paritrana, I became a member of the prayer meeting conducted
by Fr. Michael Panachikkal. This meeting turned out to be a great
experience to me.
One day Fr. Michael Panachikkal, asked me my opinion of God.
“God is Love. He is very kind. That is my picture of God.” I
replied.
“Is that your personal opinion?” he said.
“Why, Father, are you trying to corner me?” I asked.
“Nothing like that,” he said.
“Actually, if you want to know my opinion, it is quite the opposite
to what I have told you,” I replied. “God wants us to forgive others
I
How Jesus taught me to Forgive & Love 20
who have wronged us, but God never forgives us if we do something
wrong. What we are taught about God’s nature is that God is Love,
but he punishes us if we do wrong. This is confusing and I cannot
understand God’s nature. And because of this, I cannot love him.”
Fr. Michael said, “Thank you, Giju, for speaking from your heart.
Actually, you have never known Jesus Christ and so you have never
known God.”
I interrupted hastily “But Father, I pray, read
the Bible every day and attend Holy Mass twice
How Jesus taught me to Forgive & Love21
a week. I go for prayer meetings once a week. So how can you tell
me that I do not know Jesus?”
He looked at me compassionately and said, “One day, you will
start experiencing God Almighty through his son Jesus Christ, and
only then will you realize that God is Love.”
For me, that was a new revelation to see God through Jesus
Christ. From the time I was small, I have only looked at God through
the good and bad life experiences that I have had.
After this discussion, I was able to attend the Logos retreat con-
ducted by Fr. Michael. It was a new experience. What I heard there
was that if I, start to see God through his son Jesus Christ, then I
would discover that God is a loving father and not a punishing God.
Even though I liked this message, my head was not ready to accept
this. Still, at that very moment, I did accept that message in my
heart.
At that time I was running a factory and going through severe
How Jesus taught me to Forgive & Love 22
financial problems. I shared this with Fr. Michael. After listening to
me, he said, “Your problem is not financial or your hatred for others.
Your real problem is your misunderstanding about God. You don’t
believe in the God shown to us by Jesus Christ. Only when you
start to believe in this God, will you get rid of your problems and
overcome your hatred.”
Even though I had heard this message several times through the
Your real problemis your misunder-standing about God.
cassettes I had listened to, I was
still unable to see God through
Jesus Christ. Because, you see,
my mind was programmed to
see God only through my life
experiences.
Several weeks later, I attended
a spiritual retreat in Trivandrum, Kerala. It was a fasting retreat,
where we neither ate food or drank water for a few days.
The priest at the Retreat Centre said, “Giju, what is your real
problem? Is it financial?”
I replied, “Father, my real problem is that I hate someone. I re-
quest you to pray for me so that I can overcome this hatred.”
But Father replied, “No Giju, even with my prayers, you will not be
able to overcome that.”
I said, “Father when you pray, people are freed from their illness
and their financial problems disappear. I am not asking you to pray
for my financial problems to disappear; I only want this hatred to get
out of my heart.”
“Giju, when others ask for prayers to solve their problems, I do
pray for them. You are asking me to pray for you to overcome your
hatred. This is one of the most important problems of mankind. No
one can overcome their hatred with someone else’s prayers,” said
How Jesus taught me to Forgive & Love23
Father kindly.
“Jesus told us to forgive and to love one another. But, I am un-
able to get rid of this hatred. In this context, how can I believe God
and how can I believe He exists?” I said.
“It is only when a person starts experiencing Jesus Christ, then
only will he be able to overcome hatred. And that is the real bless-
ing from the Almighty,” said Father.
Another day, when I shared my problems with my uncle, he too
told me, “It is only when Jesus Christ comes into your life, that your
problems will vanish. Your problem is that you have not yet received
Jesus into your life.”
One day I even asked my father whether he knew of anyone who
had overcome hatred. He replied, “So far…..nobody.”
Whenever I met someone and asked them to pray for me to over-
come my hatred, their answer was always the same. “Try to get to
know Jesus Christ and He only can help you.”
So to get to know Jesus Christ, I took the New Testament of the
Holy Bible.
How Jesus taught me to Forgive & Love 24
How Jesus taught me to Forgive & Love25
“See God through Jesus Christ”
During my financial crisis, I started to see God through Jesus
Christ. Jesus Christ’s words in the chapters of Mathew, Mark, Luke
& John in the New Testament helped me to see God through Jesus
Christ. Cassette messages and the book written by Fr. Michael
Panachikkal helped me to understand the words of the Lord.
2
How Jesus taught me to Forgive & Love 26
From my childhood I believed that God is always with the rich,
powerful and famous people and I thought that he is not at all both-
ered about the poor and downtrodden. But when I went through the
passage narrating Jesus’ birth (Luke 2:8-14), I never found a God
that I had known from my childhood. Joseph was not a powerful
man. He was a carpenter. Mary was also a simple woman. Jesus
was not born in a palace or a mansion but only in a manger.
To my surprise the news about Jesus’ birth was first announced
by God through angels not to any scholars of that time, but to the
shepherds.
Zacchaeus was a tax collector. He never expected Jesus would
talk to him. But when Jesus came near the sycamore tree, where
Zacchaeus was sitting, he looked up and said, “Hurry down
Zacchaeus, because I must stay in your house today.”
Even though Zacchaeus was rich and powerful, he was not at all
accepted by the elite community. That’s why the word says (Luke
19:7): All the people who saw it started grumbling, “This man has
gone as a guest to the home of a sinner!”
Here Jesus never questioned, showed anger or criticized
Zacchaeus. Tasting this heavenly love Zacchaeus repented. From
my childhood I believed that God is a person who is sitting with all
the records of the wrongs of a person. From this incident in Jesus’
life I could not find the God I believed in.
As a child I believed that if man sees God, he will run away be-
cause of his fear of Him. But Jesus showed a God coming into the
midst of human beings. He showed that God has no problem in
living with people. Through Jesus I saw that man can live with God.
When I started to walk with Jesus Christ, I understood that what I
believed about God was wrong.
Two thousand years ago in Palestine, a woman caught in adul-
tery was to be stoned to death according to the Law of Moses. But
How Jesus taught me to Forgive & Love27
when a woman caught in adultery was brought before Jesus Christ,
he said, “Who you have not sinned can throw the first stone at her.”
Man without sin has the right to judge. Jesus Christ, the son of
God showed that God never punishes, but only saves. Through these
acts of Jesus I started to change my opinion about God.
With the help of Jesus I started to read the parable about the
prodigal son in a totally different way. When I started to walk with
Jesus, the return assumed a different significance in my life.
(Luke 15:20) “He was still a long way from home when his father
saw him: seeing his younger son return his heart was filled with
pity.” Jesus showed me that the Father has no anger or vengeance
or bitterness towards his younger son who destroyed all the assets
his father had given him, and Jesus continued, “And he ran, threw
his arms round his son, and kissed him.” This is the first time in my
life that I saw a forgiving, loving, almighty God. After tasting the
forgiving love of the father the son said: “Father, I have sinned against
God and against you. I am no longer fit to be called your son.” The
father’s response surprised me. He never punished, criticized or
threw away his son; instead Jesus continued, “But the father called
his servants. Hurry!” he said, “Bring the best robe and put it on him.
Put a ring on his finger and shoes on his feet. Then go and get the
prize calf and kill it, and let us celebrate with a feast.” Here was a
father celebrating the return of his prodigal son.
Through this parable, Jesus showed me a heavenly Father who
would celebrate if I threw away all my misunderstandings and re-
turned to Him.
During the time of Jesus, people infected with certain diseases,
were not allowed to come out in public. Leprosy was such a dis-
ease. When they came out, they had to cover the body with a cloth
and they rang a bell so that others knew that a leper was coming.
When a leper sees a person coming his way, the diseased person
How Jesus taught me to Forgive & Love 28
has to move away from the path. People thought that God had
cursed these people. The public even stoned them.
But 2000 years ago when these unwanted people cried to Jesus
for mercy, he didn’t punish or curse them. Instead he cured their
diseases.
If these diseases were a result of the curse from God, then the
Son of God would not have cured these people. This was a new
insight for me.
Again when I had gone through the words of God, Jesus’ love for
kids touched me. Once Jesus was sitting with some older people.
Some children were attracted by Jesus and went towards him. Then
some elders stopped them. What surprised me is that Jesus asked
them to allow the children to come and played with them. He told
them to learn from the children, because their love was innocent and
sincere. Jesus never asked the children to learn from grown-up people,
because we adults do something for others and expect some favors
in return. Our love is not at all sincere.
If a person is able to receive Jesus’ teachings in his or her child-
hood, he will never allow himself to get away from his message
later, no matter what the situation may be. That’s why he asked the
elders to send the children to him. During his childhood, if a person
is able to realize that God never punishes but only loves, then the
person will be able to get rid of his “fear of God.” The wrong knowl-
edge about God, that He is a punishing God that I received during
my childhood is the root cause of all my fears.
Jesus was arrested like an outlaw. The high priest tore his clothes.
Pilate’s soldiers made a crown out of thorny branches and placed it
on his head and put a stick in his right hand. They knelt before him
and mocked him. They spat on him and took the stick and hit him
over the head.
Even though there was no evidence to prove that Jesus was guilty,
How Jesus taught me to Forgive & Love29
he was sentenced to be crucified. On carrying the cross they of-
fered Jesus wine mixed with a bitter substance (Mathew 27:34).
In the history of mankind what we see is, when a person with
money or power is stabbed from the back and he goes through diffi-
culties and tragedies. When he recovers and becomes rich and pow-
erful the first thing on his mind is to take revenge on those who
harmed him.
But Jesus’ response to the people who crucified him was very
different. There was no revenge or retaliation. On the cross Jesus
prayed, “Forgive them Father! They don’t know what they are do-
ing.” Jesus proved that God is forgiving and loving under all circum-
stances.
In Jesus Christ I have never seen a punishing God. After his
resurrection Jesus asked his disciples, to proclaim to the world about
the loving God he showed them throughout his life.
Though Jesus’ death on the cross touched my life, what actually
lead to my repentance was His attitude towards his disciples after
his resurrection. None of his disciples stood by Him during his time
of need. Still Jesus loved them and used the same team to proclaim
his message to the world. It’s Jesus’ love that touched my heart
and led me to repentance.
How Jesus taught me to Forgive & Love 30
How Jesus taught me to Forgive & Love31
3Countdown to my repentance
I was not bothered if strange people avoided me. But it would
hurt me if my own people (relatives and friends) avoided me. That
pain would last forever, like a live burning coal. That was my nature.
But I started to change when I understood the attitude of the dis-
ciples towards their master during the time of his persecution and
the Lord’s response after his resurrection.
How Jesus taught me to Forgive & Love 32
For three years Jesus was with his disciples. They lived like a
family and worked like a team. They were so close that Jesus saw
them as his friends. He told his disciples about the persecution he
was about to face. He washed his disciples’ feet. He told them openly
that one of them will betray him. He told Peter, “I tell you that before
the cock crows tonight, you will deny me three times.” Jesus said to
his disciples, “This very night all of you will run away and leave me.”
The disciples replied that they would die for their master (Mathew
26:31-35).
But when the soldiers arrested Jesus, all the disciples left him
and ran away. From that time onwards Jesus was alone. None of
his disciples or his relatives came to support him or speak for him in
front of the authorities. Even his close disciples were not there to
help the wounded Jesus carry the cross, to Calvary.
When I go through the gospels, I see that, Jesus after his
resurrection, returns to the same disciples. It was not to curse, pun-
ish or destroy them. He used the same disciples to preach his gos-
pel to the world. He never tried to start a new team.
Once after his resurrection when Jesus appeared to his disciples,
Thomas was not present. When the other disciples explained this to
Thomas, he told them “Unless I see the scars of the nails in his
hands and put my finger on those scars and my hand in his side, I
will not believe.”
A week later the disciples were together again and Thomas was
with them. Then Jesus came and stood among them. Jesus said
to Thomas, “Put your finger here and look at my hands; then stretch
out your hand and put it in my side. Stop your doubting and be-
lieve!” Seeing this, Thomas answered, “My Lord and My God.” Here
Jesus never cursed, punished or avoided Thomas for not believing.
(John 21) Later Jesus appeared to his disciples at Lake Tiberius.
Even though they worked hard the whole night they did not catch
How Jesus taught me to Forgive & Love33
anything. Knowing this Jesus said to them, “Throw your net out on
the right side of the boat and you will catch some fish.” So they
threw the net out and could not pull it back in, because they had
caught so many fishes. When the disciples returned from the boat,
they were surprised to see their master waiting for them with food.
This was a picture of a loving God, not a punishing or cursing God
as I had believed from my childhood.
I felt guilty when I hurt a person who loved me. When Jesus
found that Peter was guilty, he asked Peter three times “Simon son
If I were able tosurvive or hold on toanything during thistime, then I wouldn’thave seen Godthrough Jesus Christ.
of John, do you love me more
than these others do?” Peter
replied, “Yes, Lord.” (John
21:15)
Again, from these words of
Jesus I saw a loving God, who
was removing the guilt from
the mind of Peter. In Jesus I
found a God who was remov-
ing my guilt.
After his resurrection Jesus
appeared to his disciples, sev-eral times and he talked to them about the Kingdom of God. (Acts
1:4). When they came together, he gave them this order: “Do not
leave Jerusalem, but wait for the gift I told you about, the gift my
Father promised. John baptized with water, but in a few days you
will be baptized with the Holy Spirit.”
What surprised me is their response to their master’s request.
(Acts1:6.) When the apostles met together with Jesus, they asked
him, “Lord, will you at this time give the Kingdom back to Israel?” At
this juncture the disciples were only able to dream about worldly
possessions and a worldly Kingdom and not about the heavenly
Kingdom.
How Jesus taught me to Forgive & Love 34
(Acts 1:8) Jesus said to them “But when the Holy Spirit comes
upon you, you will be filled with power, and you will be witnesses for
me in Jerusalem, in all of Judea and Samaria and to the ends of the
earth.”
When I go through these words, I never find a cursing, punishing
or destroying God in his son Jesus, instead I see a forgiving and
loving God. Jesus never tried to make a new team; instead he used
the same disciples to proclaim his Gospel about the Love of God to
the world. Now in history, it’s recorded that the master used his
same friends to proclaim “God’s Love” to the world.
I judge people not through their words but through their work. In
the same way when I began to know Jesus Christ, I started to see
God’s work through his son Jesus Christ. I never saw a cursing,
punishing or destroying God in the work of Jesus. With the help of
Jesus Christ I started to change my opinion about Almighty God.
I was able to see God through Jesus Christ only when I went
through a financial crisis and a business failure. If I were able to
survive or hold on to anything during this time, then I wouldn’t have
seen God through Jesus Christ.
During my financial crisis, when my life came to a dead end, I
went through the Gospels in the New Testament and there I encoun-
tered a loving God in Jesus Christ
In Jesus, I saw a Loving God looking for me.
In Jesus, I saw a loving God waiting for me.
In Jesus, I saw a loving God, who loved to walk with me.
At this juncture of my life I was able to tell people going through
different types of problems (financial, sickness, family and other) to
try to see God not through their good and bad life circumstances,
but through Jesus Christ’s work. Because in John 10:30, Jesus says,
“The father and I are one.”
How Jesus taught me to Forgive & Love35
4What I have to search for.
It was written in 1 John 4:8 “Whoever does not love
does not know God, for God is love. And God
showed his love for us by sending his
only son into the world, so that we
might have life through him.”
Even though I have come to
know that God is love through
Jesus Christ’s work, still my
prayers are for money, power,
people’s acceptance and worldly
pleasures.
At this stage of my life Jesus pointed out to me in Mathew 6:24.
“No one can be a slave of two masters; he will hate one and love the
other; he will be loyal to one and despise the other.
You cannot serve both God and money.”
Through this message Jesus made it clear to
me that, I can’t love God and money at the
same time. If I love God then I despise
money, on the other hand if I love money
then I cannot love God. I can’t have my
two feet in two boats at the same time.
Jesus continued in Mathew 6:26 “Look
at the birds: they do not sow seeds, gather a
How Jesus taught me to Forgive & Love 36
harvest and put it in barns; yet your Father in heaven takes care of
them ! Aren’t you worth much more than birds? Can any of you live
a bit longer by worrying about it?”
When I went through these words Jesus showed me that God
never wanted me to waste my life by thinking about what I eat or
about my daily needs. He showed me that birds do not worry like
human beings about what to eat.
Jesus is asking us, “Aren’t human beings worth much more than
birds?” Through these words Jesus is telling me won’t God who
feeds birds feed you too? Won’t he love you much more than birds?
This was a great breakthrough for me.
In Mathew 6:28 Jesus continued “And why worry about clothes?
Look how the wild flowers grow: they do not work or make clothes
for themselves.”
In this gospel Jesus is telling me not to worry about clothes. He
wants me to look at the wild flowers. These wild flowers don’t work
or make clothes for themselves. Yet they are so beautiful.
When we go through the Old Testament of the Holy Bible, we find
King Solomon was one of the best dressed persons. His dress
code was so famous.
Jesus continued in Mathew 6:29, “But I tell you that not even
King Solomon with all his wealth had clothes as beautiful as one of
these flowers.” Through this Jesus made it clear that King Solomon’s
dress was not as beautiful as one of these wild flowers.
Jesus continued, “It is God who clothes the wild grass – grass
that is here today and gone tomorrow, burnt up in the oven. Won’t
he be all the more sure to clothe you? How little faith you have!”
Here Jesus is telling me, that God who clothes the wild grass will
clothe me. Thus Jesus is creating in me faith and awareness of his
Father’s great love.
How Jesus taught me to Forgive & Love37
Jesus continued in Mathew 6:31 “So do not start worrying: where
will my food come from? or my drink? or my clothes?”
Jesus made it clear that if God looks after the birds and wild
grass, why do I have to worry about:-
Where my food comes from?
Where my drink comes from?
Where my clothes come from?
Through these words Jesus made it clear to me that I am not
supposed to live for food, drink or clothes and I am not supposed to
pray and fast for these things. Jesus added, “Your Father in heaven
knows that you need all these things.” (Mathew 6:32)
He made it clear in Mathew 6:32 “These are the things the pagans
are always concerned about.” That was very shocking knowledge
that if I live, pray, fast and dream about these things, then I am a
pagan.
Through these words, Jesus made it clear to me that my prayers
and fasting are not acceptable to the heavenly Father and if I die at
this stage, I can’t go to God.
In Mathew 6:33 Jesus explained this in a crystal clear way, that
could be understood by every human being rich or poor, educated or
un- educated:
For what purpose man has to live
For what purpose man has to work
For what purpose man has to pray and fast.
It is written “Instead, be concerned above everything else with
the Kingdom of God and with what he requires of you.”
Through these words God wants me to live and work only for the
Kingdom of God and to know what God requires from me. Jesus
How Jesus taught me to Forgive & Love 38
made it clear that my prayer and fasting should be targeted only
towards this.
If I begin to search for the Kingdom of God and begin to search
for what the Heavenly Father is expecting from me, then the Lord
promised me that, “God will provide me with all these other
things.”(Mathew 6:33)
From my childhood I believed that my responsibility was to make
money and other material things. Here Jesus showed me that if I
work for material things then I am living for the Devil.
From the time I received this revelation from Jesus I stopped
praying for material things and for my problems.
I believed God is love but he punishes. I have heard this gospel
several times, but at that time I was not at all bothered about the
meaning of these words. But when I started to see God’s love through
Jesus, I stopped praying for money, power, and acceptance and for
other worldly matters.
How Jesus taught me to Forgive & Love39
5
Thirst for the Holy Spirit
“But I am telling you the truth: it is better for you that I go away,
because if I do not go, the Helper will not come to you.” (John 16:7)
This was said when Jesus talked about his going back to his
Father. He said to his disciples, that if he did not go, the Holy Spirit
(Helper) will not come to the disciples. He was not offering his dis-
ciples food, clothes, money, power, people’s acceptance or any
other worldly needs but only the Holy Spirit. This is the first time in
my life I began to understand about the Holy Spirit.
So I asked Jesus, what is the use of the Holy Spirit to me?
During that period my wife Binu used to pray for the Holy Spirit.
She used to tell me also to pray for the Holy Spirit. But I was not
able to pray because I never thought I needed the Holy Spirit.
Jesus took me to Genesis Chapter. 1:26. Then God said, “And
now we will make human beings; they will be like us and resemble
us.”
How Jesus taught me to Forgive & Love 40
In John 4:24 it is said “God is Spirit.” That means man is spirit.
Through these words Jesus made it clear to me food, clothes, money,
power and other worldly requirements are not at all my needs but
only my wants. My real need is the Holy Spirit because my real
identity is in the spirit; this body is only my shelter. When I die my
people will bury my body but not my spirit.
Since my real iden-tity is in my spirit, theknowledge that lightsmy spirit should be100% correct.
In John 14:17 it is said “He is
the Spirit who reveals the truth
about God.” That means if I am
not able to receive the Holy
Spirit, then the understanding I
have about God in my spirit is
not true.
In John 16:13 Jesus said
“When, however, the Spirit
comes, who reveals the truth about God, he will lead you into all the
truth.” Here Jesus made it clear that only the Holy Spirit can lead
my spirit into all the truth. If I am unable to receive the Holy Spirit,
what I actually have in my spirit is 100% false.
Jesus made it clear in John 16:8: “And when he comes, he will
prove to the people of the world that they are wrong about sin and
about what is right and about God’s Judgment.”
These words of Jesus made it clear to me that if I do not receive
the Holy Spirit then what I believe about sin, about right and wrong,
and God’s Judgement would be incorrect.
Since my real identity is in my spirit, the knowledge that lights my
spirit should be 100% correct. Otherwise I can’t enjoy my life in my
spirit, soul, mind, or body.
John 15:26 says, “I will sent him to you from the Father, and he
will speek about me.” If my spirit is not receiving the Holy Spirit,
then Jesus is not revealed in my spirit.
How Jesus taught me to Forgive & Love41
In John 4:23 it is said “But the time is coming and is already here,
when by the power of God’s Spirit people will worship the Father as
he really is, offering him the true worship that he wants. God is
Spirit, and only by the power of his Spirit can people worship him as
he really is.”
If I am not able to receive the Holy Spirit then my spirit cannot
worship the heavenly Father as he really is. Then my spirit is not
able to love God, and in this situation my spirit loves someone or
something else.
Through these words Jesus made it clear that my spirit’s real
need is not anything but the Holy Spirit. From that moment I began
to pray for the Holy Spirit.
How Jesus taught me to Forgive & Love 42
6How can I receive the Holy Spirit?
It is written in Acts 1:4, and when they came together, he gave
them this order: “Do not leave Jerusalem, but wait for the gift I told
you about, the gift my father promised.” In Romans 5:5 it is written,
“The Holy Spirit who is God’s gift to us.”
I asked Jesus how I can receive God’s gift to humankind the Holy
Spirit into my spirit.
Jesus showed me Mathew 7:12 “Do for others what you want
them to do for you: this is the meaning of the Law of Moses and of
the teachings of the prophets.”
How Jesus taught me to Forgive & Love43
This was new knowledge for me that the meaning of the Law of
Moses and of the teachings of the prophets is “Do for others what
you want them to do for you.”
Through this, Jesus explained to me, if I needed the Holy Spirit,
then I have to pray for others so that their spirits too will be filled with
God’s best gift - the Holy Spirit.
It was a veryshocking and scaringrevelation that if I amnot talking to theperson I don’t like,and then I am only apagan.
From then onwards I started
praying for others, to fill them
with the Holy Spirit.
In Luke 11:11 Jesus was ask-
ing “Would any of you who are
fathers give your son a snake
when he asks for a fish? Or
would you give him a scorpion
when he asks for an egg? Bad
as you are, you know how to
give good things to your chil-
dren.”
Through these words Jesus showed me, for people like me “good
things” means “material things.”
Jesus continued “How much more, then, will the Father in heaven
give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him.”
For God, a good thing does not mean material things, but the
Holy Spirit. Through these words Jesus explained that the Father in
Heaven will give the Holy Spirit to God’s children.
In Romans 8:14, it is written “Those who are led by God’s Spirit
are God’s sons. For the Spirit that God has given to you does not
make you slaves and causes you to be afraid; instead, the Spirit
makes you God’s children, and by the Spirit’s power we cry out to
God, “Father! My Father!” God’s Spirit joins himself to our spirits to
declare that we are God’s children.”
How Jesus taught me to Forgive & Love 44
When Jesus revealed that God will give the Holy Spirit to his
children, I asked Jesus who God’s children were.
He took me to Mathew 5:43 “You have heard that it was said,”
Love your friends, hate your enemies.”
I replied, “Jesus this is what I am doing. Loving my friends, and
hating my enemies.” Then he continued. “But now I tell you: love
your enemies.”
I was shocked to hear this from Jesus. I asked Jesus what
nonsense he was speaking. For the last 12 years I was trying my
best to get rid of my hatred. For this I had prayed, fasted, gone for
spiritual retreats and meditated. Even though I prayed a lot and
fasted (for this purpose), I was not able to get rid of my hatred. After
all these prayers and fasting my hatred only increased.
At this stage Jesus was asking me to love my enemy. I asked
Jesus how it was possible.
From that day onwards I stopped reading the Bible and praying.
After some days I began to read the Bible from Mathew 5: 46 skip-
ping 5:44 and 5:45.
In Mathew 5:46 it is written “Why should God reward you if you
love only the people who love you? Even the tax collectors do that!”
Jesus explained that if I am loving the people who love me then I am
like a tax collector. That means, I love a person only if I get a favor
from him or his money or his material things.
And Jesus continued “And if you speak only to your friends, have
you done anything out of the ordinary? Even the pagans do that!”
It was a very shocking and scaring revelation that if I am not
talking to the person I don’t like, then I am only a pagan.
From that time onwards I had a desire to talk to and love the
person, I hated. This desire was put forward by Jesus.
How Jesus taught me to Forgive & Love45
Then with the help of Jesus Christ I started to read the Lord’s
word in Mathew 5:44.
“But now I tell you: love your enemies and pray for those who
persecute you, so that you may become the sons of your Father in
heaven.”
This was really a message of blessing for me. In my life I never
dreamed of becoming a son of the Father in heaven. I thought that
this can be attained only by saintly people. But Jesus was telling
me that if a person like me, full of hatred in my mind, prays for those
people, who persecuted me, then God will make me a son of the
Heavenly Father.
From that moment onwards I started to pray for the person I hated.
I started to bless him. I thanked God for filling God’s best gift, the
Holy Spirit in his spirit. I thanked God for revealing the truth about
God, the truth about sin and the truth about God’s Judgment through
the Holy Spirit to his spirit.
At this stage I had no problem in praying for the person I hated.
Earlier it was not possible for me to pray for him. I don’t know how
to explain this. Within days I was able to expel this hatred from my
mind. Later I started to enjoy peace in my mind. For the last 12
years I had forgotten how to laugh. During those years I had to
struggle to laugh. From the moment I expelled hatred I started to
laugh again.
Jesus’s words in Luke 11:13 and Mathew 5:44 helped me to get
rid of my hatred. Jesus said in Luke 11:13 “God shall give the Holy
Spirit to his children.” In Mathew 5:44 Jesus said “When a person
starts to pray for his enemies, he becomes a child of God.”
Through these words Jesus showed me that when I started to
pray for the person who persecuted me, I became a child of God.
From that moment, with the help of the Holy Spirit, Jesus took away
the hatred in me. It was the work of Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit
How Jesus taught me to Forgive & Love 46
within me. It was not at all my work.
If it had been my work and effort then I would have been able to
get rid of my hatred even before I knew Jesus.
I was able to pray like this only when I started to see God through
Jesus’ work or life. When I believed that God is a punishing God, I
was not able to pray for the person who persecuted me. It’s God’s
love in Jesus which I experienced that made me pray like this.
Ezekiel 36:25-27 “I will sprinkle clean water on you and make you
clean from all your idols and everything else that has defiled you. I
will give you a new heart and a new mind. I will take away your
stubborn heart of stone and give you an obedient heart. I will put my
spirit in you and I will see to it that you follow my laws.”
Thus Jesus pointed out the changes that would happen in me.
First God helped me to see Him through Jesus Christ’s work. Through
Jesus, God helped me to get rid of my misunderstanding that God is
a punishing God. Through Jesus, God revealed a loving God to me.
Then God gave me an obedient heart. With this heart I started to
pray for the people who persecuted me. Then God gave me his
spirit. With the help of God’s Spirit Jesus helped me to destroy my
hatred of others and with God’s Spirit working in me I was able to
forgive others and love God, love myself and love others.
Once I was travelling in a train, I met a Sanyasi. I shared with
him Jesus’s words in Mathew 5:44. He responded. “How is it pos-
sible? How can you pray for your enemy?” Then he added if it hap-
pened, then God will come down from heaven.
Yes it is true. It’s by the work of God’s Spirit only, that I was able
to get rid of my hatred.
How Jesus taught me to Forgive & Love47
7 With the help of JesusI asked for forgiveness
When Jesus destroyed the deep rooted hatred in my mind, I had
a desire to visit the house of the person I hated. I told my wife Binu
“let us visit them the following Sunday.” When that day came even
though I had the desire to go there, my mind was not permitting this.
This continued for weeks and months.
I told Jesus, “It is you who helped me to get rid of my misunder-
standing about a punishing God, and you showed me a loving God.
It is you who eliminated hatred from my mind, so please help me in
this case also.” Then Jesus showed me Mathew 7:1. “Do not judge
others, so that God will not judge you, for God will judge you in the
same way as you judge others and he will apply to you the same
rules you apply to others.”
How Jesus taught me to Forgive & Love 48
Jesus was telling me in Mathew 7:5: “You hypocrite! First take
the log out of your own eye and then you will able to see clearly
enough to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.”
These words showed me that I was on the wrong track, when I
judge a person.
Jesus was persecuted by his own people but he never judged or
hated anyone.
Now I asked forgiveness from God for judging another person and
for hating him. Then in my prayer I asked for forgiveness from the
person I judged and hated.
I don’t know what happened, within a month we were able to visit
his house and with the help of Jesus Christ I asked this person for
forgiveness. From that moment onwards I had a feeling that some-
body had taken a large weight from my mind.
At this stage I was only able to ask for forgiveness to the person
I had judged and hated but I was not able to actually forgive him.
Later on I was able to forgive, and that I will explain in the next
chapter.
How Jesus taught me to Forgive & Love49
Thank you for the interest shown inthis God-inspired work!
Hope you enjoyed readingthe first part of the book.
You can read the complete bookonline at
www.forgiveandlove.com
or purchase it from
www.kottayamflowers.com
How Jesus taught me to Forgive & Love 50
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