happy birthday megan

But wasn’t satisfied

It could answer questions for me.It knew me well enough to know what I would say

Holding my tongue had become a habit.

it was more of that I only said what was safe;

Jokes and stories

Having fun seemed to be all that mattered anyways.

And so I held my tongue.

I wanted to be seen as important.

As… Beautiful.

eyeliner, mascara, straightening iron, eyeliner, mascara.

It was easy to become what people thought of as beautiful

But all of that was before the magnifying glass found me.

I finally slipped out of the shell I was hiding in.

And my beauty; though maintained

Wasn’t important

And I said what I felt

And the magnifying glass was proud

Something that wasn’t established as “safe”

…That other people could judge,

The magnifying glass was happy

That magnifying glass hasn't dissapeared,

It still follows me, showing me that I still don't know who I am,

That I am still hiding cautiously behind someone I'm not

I'm still terrified of myself, Terrified that the person I am will be judged,

I still lie about my beliefs,

and I still have more insecurities

than I can handle,

but I'm one step closer than ever to jumping,

I'm closer than ever to taking a leap,

and leaving my insecurities behind.

You’re possibly the biggest impact in my life. Whether you believe this or not, when we were fighting was the worst time of my life.

I cried too. Believe it.

I missed you. I missed our friendship so much, it tore me up.

So I hope you plan on sticking around this time, because I don’t think I can

handle you NOT being my “Slim Takens” any longer.

Let’s make this a year to remember.

Let’s move on to something better than that.

Lets make a real friendship, where we know we can depend on each other.

I mean, not REALLY, but anything vitally important, we can at least use the phone.

So you deserve a real friend, right?

You know why? It’s your eyes..

those things could cut through steel.I don’t doubt it.

And your hair is perfect with your eyes. It all works together to make this girl, who could stop a hurricane.

Starting now.

Starting on you’re birthday, let’s be for real.

I know that I have the power to stop and say hi, instead of just a smile, and I’m sure we can make this work.

But it takes two.

Do you think we can do it?

Can we last a whole year, being the real friends I know we can be?

This will be a year to remember.I know we’ll end up happy I know it will be worth it.

So let’s give it a shot.