guiding children’s behavior hpc 3o may 2 nd, 2013
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GUIDING CHILDREN’S BEHAVIORHPC 3O
May 2nd, 2013
Understanding Guidance
Punishment is only a small part of guiding children
Guidance: using firmness and understanding to help children learn to control their own behavior
Understanding Guidance
As a result of effective guidance, children achieve self-discipline ability to control their own behavior
Understanding Guidance
Why is effective guidance important? Helps children learn to get along with
others Handle feelings in an acceptable way Promotes security and a positive feeling
about self Moral development Developing a conscience - - inner sense
of what is right
Consistency
Clearly making rules an applying them in the same way in all situations
Children lose trust in a caregiver who constantly changes rules or fails to enforce them
What should a parent do if more than one person cares for the child?
Guiding Behavior
3 ways to guide children to behave:1. Encouraging appropriate behavior2. Setting and enforcing limits3. Dealing with inappropriate behavior in
effective ways
Encouraging Appropriate Behavior3 ways:1. Setting a good example2. Telling what is expected3. Praising appropriate behavior positive
reinforcement
Encouraging Appropriate Behavior Be specific Notice the behavior as soon as possible Recognize small steps Help the child take pride in his or her actions Tailor the encouragement to the needs of the
child
Setting Limits
Limits include physical restrictions or rules of behavior
Limits should keep children from hurting themselves, other people or property
Should be few and reasonable!
What Should Limits Be?
Does the limit allow the child to learn, explore and grow?
Is the limit fair and appropriate for the child’s age?
Does the limit benefit the child, or is it merely for the adult’s convenience?
Making Limits Clear
Clearly state limits and restate everytime the situation arises
Limits must be clear have a “small snack” is unclear for a 3-year old
Calm, direct tone
Making Limits Clear
Setting limits includes four steps:1. Show understanding of the child’s
desires2. Set the limit and explain it3. Acknowledge the child’s feelings4. Give alternatives
Dealing with Inappropriate Behavior
A caregiver should ask these questions when responding to a child’s misbehavior:
Is the expected behavior appropriate given the child’s development?
Does the child understand the behavior is wrong?
Was the behavior knowingly and deliberately?
Dealing with Inappropriate Behavior
Unintentional Misbehavior: Spilling milk or juice for example
shouldn’t be punished! If the child had no way of knowing it was
wrong Brittany picking flowers from the park
Dealing with Inappropriate Behavior
Using Punishment Effectively: Deliberate attempts Punishment is negative reinforcement
response aimed at discouraging a child from repeating a behavior
Dealing with Inappropriate Behavior
Using Punishment Effectively: 1st time child breaks rule a warning is
fine Rule broken another time punishment
given according to severity of misbehavior
Dealing with Inappropriate Behavior
Techniques for dealing with inappropriate behavior:
Natural consequences Loss of privileges: Take away a privilege.
Most effective for ages 5 and older Giving time-out: Short period of time in
which a child sits away from other people and the center of activity
Dealing with Inappropriate Behavior
Poor Disciplinary Measures: Bribing Making children promise to behave:
forced to lie about misbehavior rather than disappoint
Shouting or yelling Shaming or belittling Threatening to withhold love
Handling Conflict
Anger – a natural emotion. Do not make the child feel guilty about it
Caregivers can help the child learn that there are acceptable ways of handling that anger
Handling Conflict
Ways of handling anger: Using words Speaking calmly Counting to ten
Discuss the misbehavior and punishment after the child has calmed down. Explain how they misbehaved and what they should have done instead*
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