free to be me relationship series - part 10 - self acceptance

RELATIONSHIP WITH

YOURSELF

Self-Acceptance

Self-Acceptance

Is unconditional and free of any kind of qualification

Allows for non-judgmentally affirming who we are

Can occur as a result of self-compassion and choosing to focus on our positives

Upsides to Self-Acceptance

It’s possible to accept yourself and remain committed to personal growth

Accepting who you are today, gives you permission to consider who you want to be in the future

Through self-compassion we can focus more on our positives than our negatives

Self-Acceptance

From the time we are born we are seeking acceptance

We were created to be in relationship and need others to survive

We learn early that there are rewards for doing things that are pleasing to others

Early responseWe learn that pleasing others can bring pleasure to ourselves

Disease to Please

Some of us develop a need to please others

We go from engaging in pleasing activities with others to having a need to please

Disease to Please

We are all born with some of it, it’s necessary to get our needs met

Some move to an unhealthy desire for pleasing, many times as part of a learned behavior

We learn that some relationships are very conditional and if we don’t meet those conditions we will be rejected or abandoned

Where does it come from?

Disease to Please

We respond by pleasing others, so we can ensure our basic needs are met

We overreact to emotional withdrawal from others leading to questionable self-worth

The desire to please can lead to exploitation and further emotional woundedness

How does it affect us and manifest?

BE AWARE OF EXPOSURE AND

MONITOR INFLUENCE

from people and media

“Approval Addict”

I must be approved by certain others to feel good about myself

Consequence of approval addiction is rejection

God’s answer to this addition is reconciliation

“The Search for Significance” - Robert S. McGee

“Approval Addict”

This includes you who were once far away from God. You were his enemies, separated from him by your evil thoughts and actions. 22 Yet now he has reconciled you to himself through the death of Christ in his physical body. As a result, he has brought you into his own presence, and you are holy and blameless as you stand before him without a single fault.

Colossians 1:21-22

FROM “APPROVAL ADDICT”

TO A CROWN OF GLORY

Homework1. Consider the relationships that influenced and shape you from

your childhood and early adolescent years.

2. Make a list of the 5 relationships that you believe were most influential during this time frame.

3. Write down the overall message you received from each person about you.

4. Reflect on each message in light of God’s word from Philippians 1:6 and Colossians 1:21-22

5. Determine if there is truth in those messages according to who God says you are and thank him for accepting you

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