fox cities managers july 2009

July 14, 2009

Conflict ManagementRyan Kehl

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Time Description Person(s)

6:00 Introductions All

6:10 Group Business Chuck Tomasi

6:20 Conflict Management Ryan Kehl

7:15 Future topics Chuck Tomasi

7:30 Open discussion All

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Website is online (foxcitiesmanagers.com)◦ Review potential layouts

Business cards Getting the word out

◦ Other groups? Using evite.com for invite management Six month facilitator role

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Competitive or opposing actionsStruggle resulting from incompatible needsHostile encounter

Fundamentals – What is conflict and why do we have it?

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Fundamentals◦ Definitions:

Conflict exists when two or more competing responses of action to a single event are considered. It is simply a situationwhere one person’s concerns are different from another person’s.

Conflict is the process that begins when one party perceives that another party has affected negatively, or is about to affect negatively, something about which he or she cares.

Peg Pickering

American Management Association

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◦ Conflict, if left alone, will take care of itself◦ The presence of conflict is the sign of a poor manager◦ Confronting an issue or person is always unpleasant◦ It is always negative and destructive

Misconceptions about conflict

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Types of Conflict

– Internal or Interpersonal• Within yourself or between individuals

– Interpersonal conflict – two causes• Structural and Personal

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What are some causes of conflict between individuals

–Lack of cooperation–Personality conflicts–Differences regarding authority or responsibility–Role conflict–Perceived differences in treatment or status–Value or goal differences

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– Interpersonal conflict – two causes• Structural

– Based on the structure of the organization– The kinds of jobs and departments and the

relationships among them• Personal

– Personality or value differences

Types of Conflict

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Types of Conflict◦ Structural conflict is caused by

Competition over scarce resources Ambiguity over responsibility Interdependence Competitive reward systems Differentiation Power differentials

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Types of Conflict ◦ Structural resolution approaches

Reduce interaction Clarify job responsibilities Reduce interdependence Use principled negotiation

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Types of Conflict◦ Personal conflict is caused by

Personality differences A person’s typical pattern of attitudes, needs,

characteristics, and behavior Value differences

Conception of what is good, desirable and proper Be in control Self-esteem Need to be consistent

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Types of Conflict ◦ Personal resolution approaches

Modify behavior Defuse emotions Improve communication – active listening Use principled negotiation

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◦ Stage 1: Everyday concerns and disputes◦ Stage 2: More significant challenges◦ Stage 3: Overt battles

There are three primary stages of conflict

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Stages of Conflict ◦ Stage one characteristics

Real, yet low in intensity Day-to-day irritations Facts and opinions are openly shared once the

problem has surfaced Focus is on issues, not personalities

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Stages of Conflict◦ Stage two characteristics

More significant challenges Win-lose attitude Focus shifts from issue to personality concerns Atmosphere is not hostile, but cautious Trust has declined

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Stages of Conflict◦ Stage three characteristics

Overt battles – the objective shifts from wanting to win to wanting to hurt

What’s good for me and what’s good for the organization become synonymous

Positions in the group are polarized, factions form

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Conflict Management Styles

High

HighLow

Cooperativeness

Ass

ert

iveness

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Conflict Management Styles

Compromise

Cooperativeness

Low

Ass

ert

iveness

Avoiding

Competing Collaborating

Accommodating

High

High

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Conflict Management Styles

Cooperativeness

Ass

ert

iveness

High

HighLow

Competing

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Conflict Management Styles - Competing

“My way or the highway”

◦ May also mean coercing or competing◦ Coercing is a process in which someone uses confrontational tactics such as argument,

use of authority, or threat, to achieve the goals of each ground regardless of the expense paid by the other

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Conflict Management StylesCompeting – Appropriate Uses

Quick action Unpopular decisions Vital issues Protection

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- You may not get all of the information you need

- Reduced learning environment

- Low empowerment

- Surrounded by yes people

Conflict Management Styles

Competing – Negative Effects

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Conflict Management Styles

Cooperativeness

Ass

ert

iveness

High

HighLow

Accommodating

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Conflict Management Styles - Accommodating

“It would be my pleasure”

◦ The process by which one person neglects his own interests by satisfying the needs of the other involved

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Conflict Management StylesAccommodating – Appropriate Uses

Showing reasonableness Developing performance Creating good will Keeping “peace” and building social credits Retreating Issues of low importance

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- Others may perceive a lack of commitment

- May have anarchy in your department

- Restricted influence

Conflict Management Styles

Accommodating – Negative Effects

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Conflict Management Styles

High

HighLow

Cooperativeness

Ass

ert

iveness

Avoiding

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Conflict Management Styles – Avoiding

“I’ll think about it tomorrow”

◦ The goal is to delay◦ Individuals involved in a disagreement postpone or ignore the issue causing the conflict◦ Lean towards a “don’t rock the boat” style

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Issues of low importance Reducing tensions Buying time Low power Allowing others

Conflict Management StylesAvoiding – Appropriate Uses

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Conflict Management StylesAvoiding – Negative Effects

- You may not be giving your views

- Decisions are made by default

- Issues fester

- Cautious climate is contagious

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Conflict Management Styles

Cooperativeness

Ass

ert

iveness

High

HighLow

Collaborating

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Conflict Management Styles – Collaborating

“Two heads are better than one”

◦ Working with another person to find an optimal solution◦ Each party attempts to reach mutual satisfaction by collectively confronting conflict, recognizing the

concerns of each group or person and problem-solving

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Conflict Management Styles◦ Collaborating – Positive Uses

Issues of moderate importance Equal power and strong commitment Temporary solutions No Time constraints Back up for competing/compromising Gain commitment

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Conflict Management Styles◦ Collaborating – Negative Effects

- Too much time on trivial matters

- Work overload

- Diffused responsibility

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Conflict Management Styles

Cooperativeness

Ass

ert

iveness

High

HighLow

Compromising

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Conflict Management Styles – Compromise

“ Let’s make a deal”

◦ Finding a middle ground or forgoing some of your concerns to have others met

◦ May mean negotiating or splitting the difference

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Conflict Management StylesCompromising – Appropriate Uses

Integrating solutions Learning Merging Perspectives Gaining Commitment Improving Relationships

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Conflict Management Styles◦ Compromising – Negative Effects

- May be modifying your position when you shouldn’t

- Lack of values/trust

- Cynical climate

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Styles◦ What is your preferred style of handling conflict

Avoiding Obliging Competing Compromising Collaborating

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Conflict Management Styles◦ Collaboration

There is no one correct approach. Collaboration is recommended as being the most valuable, especially within an organization.

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Principled Negotiation◦ Requires that conflicts be resolved on the merits of the

issues involved rather than haggling or trickery Foremost individuals drive for mutual gain Decisions are based on fair standards independent of

the will of either side

-Harvard, MIT, Tufts

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Collaboration◦ 7 Components of Principled Negotiation

Separate people from the issue Focus on interests, not positions Invent options for mutual gain Use objective standards of fairness Have alternatives to a collaborative agreement Degree to which each party is knowledgeable Willingness to communicate

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Principled Negotiation1.) Separate people from the issue

Never forget that on the other side of the issue is a person

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Principled Negotiation2.) Focus on interests, not positions

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Principled Negotiation3.) Invent options for mutual gain

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Principled Negotiation4.) Use objective standards of fairness

Organizational performance Market value Precedent What a court would decide Moral standards Efficiency

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Principled Negotiation5.) Have alternatives to a collaborative agreement

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Principled Negotiation6.) Degree to which each party is knowledgeable

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Principled Negotiation7.) Willingness to communicate

Don’t interrupt Resist foot tapping, fidgeting Avoid loaded questions Use indications of following Focus on the intent, not just the words

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Feedback◦ What is the purpose of feedback?

To reinforce or change performance or behavior

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Indicate common feedback mistakes made by managers

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Feedback

Fifty-percent (50%) of performance problems in

business occur because of the lack of feedback!

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◦ Judges individuals, not actions◦ Too vague◦ Speaks for others◦ Exaggerated with generalities◦ Psychoanalyzes the motives behind the behavior◦ Uses inappropriate humor◦ Is a question, not a statement

Common Feedback Mistakes

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◦ Your past experiences have proven a more effective way of doing something

◦ Someone asks◦ When you want to change or reinforce behavior

When is Feedback Appropriate

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How to Provide Feedback

Step 1: Ask permissionStep 2: Ask the receiver to respond firstStep 3: Endorse what you agree with, then offer your observationsStep 4: Build upon what the receiver said

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◦ Be timely◦ Give the reason for providing feedback◦ Give specifics◦ Listen to the other person’s reasons◦ Offer specific suggestions for dealing with the issue◦ Summarize your discussion and offer support

Tips for Effective Feedback

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Web site◦ http://www.foxcitiesmanagers.com

LinkedIn◦ http://www.linkedin.com/groups?gid=1819730

Facebook◦ http://www.facebook.com/home.php?ref=home#/

group.php?gid=67519844111

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Date Topic

August 11 Presentations Made Better

September 8 Say It Well With E-mail

October 13 Email management

November 10 Personal productivity (GTD intro)

December 8 Non-verbal communications

2nd Tuesday of Each Month

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We appreciate you taking time out of your busy schedule and spending it with us to improve yourself and your organization

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