exit slip name: ________________ period _____ date: _______ summary of what i learned in this class...

EXIT SLIPEXIT SLIP• NAME: ________________• Period _____ Date: _______• Summary of what I learned in this

class today: (2-3 sentences)I learned to ___________________ ____________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________

THE FORMS OF WRITINGTHE FORMS OF WRITING

1. Narrative Writing2. Expository Writing3. Persuasive Writing4. Response to Literature5. Creative Writing6. Research Writing7. Writing Across the Curriculum

THE STEPS THE STEPS IN THE IN THE

WRITING PROCESSWRITING PROCESS

PREWRITINGPREWRITING

• The first step in the writing process involves selecting a specific topic, gathering details about it, and organizing those details into a writing plan.

WRITINGWRITING

• During this step, the writer completes the first draft using the prewriting plan as a guide.

• This draft is a writer’s first chance to get everything on paper.

REVISINGREVISING

• During revising, the writer first reviews the draft for five key traits:– Ideas– Organization– Voice– Word choice– And sentence fluency.

• After deciding what changes to make, the writer deletes, moves, adds to, and rewrites parts of the text.

EDITINGEDITING

• Then the writer edits the revised draft for the conventions of punctuation, capitalization, spelling, and grammar.

• A writer should also proofread the final copy before sharing it.

PUBLISHINGPUBLISHING

• This is the final step in the writing process.• Publishing is the writer’s opportunity to

share his or her work with others.

THE PROCESS IN ACTIONTHE PROCESS IN ACTION

PRE-WRITINGPRE-WRITING

1. SELECT A TOPIC– Search for topics that meet the requirements of the

assignment.– Select a specific topic that appeals to you.

2. With the purpose of the assignment in mind, find one point to emphasize about the topic – either an interesting part or your personal feeling about it. This will be the focus, or thesis, of your writing.

3. Decide which details to include in your writing.

4. Organize your details into a writing plan, perhaps using an outline or a chart.

WRITINGWRITING

1. DEVELOP THE FIRST DRAFT2. When writing the first draft, concentrate on

getting your ideas on paper. Don’t try to produce a perfect piece of writing.

3. Use the details you collected and your prewriting plan as a guide, but feel free to add new ideas and details as you go along.

4. Make sure your writing has a beginning, a middle, and an ending.

REVISINGREVISING

1. IMPROVE YOUR WRITING2. Set aside your first draft for a while so you

can return to it with a fresh perspective.3. Read your first draft slowly and critically.

4. Use these questions as a revising guide:– Is my topic interesting for the reader?– Does the beginning catch the reader’s attention?– Are the ideas in order and easy to understand?– Have I included enough details to support my

central idea?– Does the ending leave the readers with

something to think about?– Do I sound interested in, and knowledgeable

about, the topic?

– Are the nouns specific and the verbs active?– Are the modifiers (adjectives and adverbs) clear

and descriptive?– Does the whole piece read smoothly?

5. Ask at least one other person to review your writing and give suggestions.

6. Make as many changes as necessary to improve your writing.

EditingEditing

• Check for conventions:• Check for errors in punctuation,

capitalization, spelling, and grammar.• Have at least one other person check your

writing for errors.• Prepare a neat final copy.• Proofread the final copy before publishing it.

PublishingPublishing

• Share your writing.• Share your writing with friends, classmates,

and family.• Consider submitting your writing to a

newspaper or other publication.• Also consider including the writing in your

portfolio.

The Writing ProcessThe Writing Process

The TRAITSThe TRAITS- are the main features of effective - are the main features of effective

writing.writing.

IDEASIDEAS

• Strong writing presents a clear focus, or message.• The writing contains specific ideas

and details that support the focus.

ORGANIZATIONORGANIZATION

• Effective writing creates a meaningful whole – with interesting beginning, middle, and ending parts.• The supporting details are arranged

in the best order.

VOICEVOICE

• Writing that has voice reflects the writer’s personality.• It is engaging and appropriate for

the audience.

WORD CHOICEWORD CHOICE

• Good writing contains strong words, including specific nouns, verbs, and modifiers.• Word choice helps deliver a clear

message.

SENTENCE FLUENCYSENTENCE FLUENCY

• Effective writing flows smoothly from sentence to sentence.• None of the sentences cause the

reader to stumble or become confuse.

CONVENTIONSCONVENTIONS

• Strong writing follows the rules for punctuation, capitalization, spelling, and grammar.• It is carefully edited to be error free.

FOCUSING ON TRAITSFOCUSING ON TRAITSConnect the traits to the writing Connect the traits to the writing

process.process.

PREWRITEPREWRITE

• Ideas–What topic should I write about? –What part of the topic should I

focus on?– What details should I include?

The Happiest Moment in My LifeThe Happiest Moment in My Life

BEGINNINGBefore bed time. SLEEPLESS NIGHT. Damn it! I can’t get any sleep. I called my friend. Write how my friend sounded on the phone after waking him/her up.

MIDDLEWrite your feelingsWrite what actually happened.

ENDWrite by describing the events after the BIG EVENT.Party! Party! Party!

GOOOOOAAAAL!

BRAIN STORMING PROCESS

Prewrite Continued

• Organization–How should I organize my details?–Which graphic organizer should I

use for my planning?

Prewrite Continued

• Voice–What is my attitude about the

topic?

WriteWrite

• Ideas–What do I want to say?

Write Continued

• Organization–How do I want to arrange my

ideas?

Write Continued

• Voice–How do I want to sound?

ReviseRevise

• Ideas–Are my ideas clear and complete?

Revise Continued

• Organization–Do my beginning, middle, and

ending work well?

Revise Continued

• Voice–Did I create an appropriate tone?

Revise Continued

• Word Choice–Have I chosen specific nouns and

active verbs?

Revise Continued

• Sentence Fluency–Are my sentences varied?–Do they read smoothly?

EditEdit

• Conventions–Have I used correct•Punctuation•Capitalization•Spelling•Grammar?

PublishPublish

• Ideas• Organization• Voice• Word Choice• Sentence Fluency• Conventions–What do you think of my work ?What do you think of my work ?

Writing a Writing a Personal NarrativePersonal Narrative

A personal narrative re-creates a specific experience or event in your life.

This kind of writing This kind of writing invites the reader invites the reader to to experienceexperience what you’ve what you’ve experienced.experienced.

So if a reader says, So if a reader says, “It all “It all seems so real to me,”seems so real to me,” you’ll know you you’ll know you succeeded.succeeded.

Narrative Writing Warm-Up:Be selective

• When you write a personal narrative, it’s important to include specific details.

• However, a reader doesn’t need to know every little things – like the color of the shoes you wore to a band concert.

• You need to be selective, choosing those details that are key to appreciating the experiece.

Writing a Narrative ParagraphWriting a Narrative Paragraph

• A personal narrative paragraph shares a specific experience.

• The paragraph has three parts:1. The topic sentence introduces the experience.2. The body sentences share details that re-create

the experience.3. The closing sentence reflects on the experience.

RUBRIC RUBRIC for for

NARRATIVE WRITINGNARRATIVE WRITING

66 IdeasIdeasThe narrative shares a

memorable event. Details bring the essay to life.

66 OrganizationOrganizationThe structure of the

narrative makes it enjoyable and easy to read.

66 VoiceVoiceThe writer’s voice captures

the experience for the reader

66 Word ChoiceWord ChoiceThe writer’s excellent word

choice creates a vivid picture of the event.

66 Sentence FluencySentence FluencyThe sentences are skillfully written to hold the reader’s

interest.

66 ConventionsConventionsThe narrative has no errors in

spelling, grammar, or punctuation.

55IDEAS The writer shares an interesting experience. Specific details help maintain interest.

ORGANIZATION The narrative has a clear beginning, middle, and ending. Transitions are helpful.

VOICE The writer’s voice sounds natural. Dialogue helps hold the reader’s interest.

WORD CHOICE Specific nouns, verbs, and modifiers create clear images and feelings.

SENTENCE FLUENCY The sentences show variety and are easy to understand.

CONVENTIONS The narrative has a few minor errors in punctuation, grammar, or spelling.

44IDEAS The writer tells about an interesting experience. Details need to show, not tell.

ORGANIZATION For most part, the narrative is organized. Most of the transitions are helpful

VOICE The writer’s voice creates interest in the essay, but dialogue needs to sound more natural.

WORD CHOICE Some stronger nouns, verbs, and/or modifiers would create a clearer picture.

SENTENCE FLUENCY The sentences are varied, but some should flow more smoothly.

CONVENTIONS The narrative has some errors that may distract the reader.

EXPOSITORY WRITING OVERVIEWEXPOSITORY WRITING OVERVIEW

CALIFORNIA STANDARDSCALIFORNIA STANDARDS

WS 1.1WS 1.1

Establish a controlling impression or coherent thesis that conveys a clear and distinctive perspective on the subject and maintain a consistent

tone and focus throughout the piece of writing.

WS 1.2WS 1.2

Use precise language, action verbs, sensory details, appropriate modifiers, and the active rather than the passive

voice.

WS 1.9WS 1.9Revise writing to improve the logic and coherence of the organization

and controlling perspective, the precision of word choice, and the tone by taking into consideration

the audience, purpose, and formality of the context.

WS 2.3WS 2.3Write expository compositions,

including analytical essays and research reports:

1.Marshal evidence in support of a thesis and related claims, including

information on all relevant perspectives.

2. Convey information and ideas from primary and secondary

sources accurately and coherently.

3. Make distinctions between the relative value and significance

of specific data, facts, and ideas.

4. Include visual aids by employing appropriate technology to

organize and record information on charts, maps, and graphs.

5. Anticipate and address readers’ potential misunderstandings,

biases, and expectations.

6. Use technical terms and notations accurately.

EXPOSITORY WRITINGEXPOSITORY WRITINGPlease Take NotesPlease Take Notes

FOCUS ON THE TRAITSFOCUS ON THE TRAITS

IdeasIdeas• Focusing on a significant

similarity and including details to support the thesis

OrganizationOrganization• Including a strong beginning

and ending, and arranging points of comparison chronologically in the middle paragraphs

Word ChoiceWord Choice• Selecting precise nouns,

active verbs, and no unnecessary modifiers

Sentence FluencySentence Fluency•Constructing simple,

compound, and complex sentences that read smoothly

ConventionsConventions•Checking for errors in

punctuation, capitalization, spelling, and grammar

Writing a Writing a Comparison EssayComparison Essay

OBJECTIVESOBJECTIVES

• Understand the form and content of a comparison essay

• Identify and develop the main point of comparison between two subjects

• Plan, draft, revise, edit, and publish a comparison essay

Expos(e)Expos(e)itory writing is the most the most commoncommon form of writing assigned

in your classes.

If a particular assignment asks you to explain, summarize, illustrate,

analyze, classify, or compare, then you are involved in expository

writing.

A comparison essay comparison essay is a piece of writing that

• compares two people, places, or things;• explains how the two subjects

are alike;• is organized by points of

comparison.

You will do your You will do your bestbest workwork if you follow these if you follow these five tipsfive tips::

1.1. Select two people who Select two people who truly interest you.truly interest you.

2.2. Learn as much as you Learn as much as you can about them.can about them.

3.3. Organize your writing Organize your writing around important around important

points of comparison.points of comparison.

4.4. Engage the reader Engage the reader with some with some

interesting details, interesting details, including quotations including quotations and revealing facts.and revealing facts.

5.5. Share your Share your information clearly information clearly

and completely.and completely.

WRITING GUIDELINESWRITING GUIDELINES

• Subject: Two famous people• Form: Comparison Essay• Purpose: To show similarities• Audience: Classmates

Expository Writing Warm-Up:Expository Writing Warm-Up:Key Points of ComparisonKey Points of Comparison

When you write a When you write a comparison essay, be sure comparison essay, be sure

that you focus on that you focus on key key points of comparison points of comparison

between your two topics.between your two topics.

Tim Williams was planning a Tim Williams was planning a comparison of his two comparison of his two

grandfathers. He knew that one grandfathers. He knew that one important point of comparison important point of comparison was their involvement in World was their involvement in World

War II.War II.

During his planning, he made a During his planning, he made a T-T-chart chart and listed wartime details and listed wartime details

about each grand father.about each grand father.

Points of Comparison: Involvement in Points of Comparison: Involvement in WWIIWWII

Grandfather Capewell• Wanted to join the British

army• Denied because of heart

murmur• Worked for aviation

industry• Inspected crashed

airplanes

Grandfather Williams• Wanted to join the US Navy• Denied because of poor

eyesight• Accepted in the army• Fought in Europe.

Point of Comparison: Identical twins.

Joseph• Loves music and sings in a

chorale• Travels and visit exotic

places• Got his PHD from Harvard• Married a cellist

Chris• Loves music and plays in the

band as lead guitarist• Travels and visit exotic

places• Got his PHD in Yale.• Married a soprano

Write your topic sentence.Write your topic sentence.

A specific point of comparison can usually be covered in one paragraph. To plan for his

paragraph, Tim wrote this topic sentence, which identified the

point of comparison to be covered.

My grandfathers My grandfathers (subjects) (subjects) proudly served their countries proudly served their countries during World War II during World War II (point of (point of

comparison)comparison)..

Writing a Comparison Writing a Comparison ParagraphParagraph

A paragraph in a comparison A paragraph in a comparison essay should cover one main point essay should cover one main point

of comparison between the two of comparison between the two subjects.subjects.

Tim wrote the following comparison paragraph about his

two grandfathers. Remember that a paragraph has three main parts:

A paragraph has A paragraph has threethree main parts. main parts.

1. The topic sentence introduces the two people and the point of comparison.

2. The body sentences support the point of comparison.

3. The closing sentence completes the comparison.

Doing Their PartDoing Their Part

TITLE OF THE PARAGRAPHTITLE OF THE PARAGRAPHTITLE OF THE PARAGRAPHTITLE OF THE PARAGRAPH

My grandfathers proudly served My grandfathers proudly served their countries during World War their countries during World War II. II. As soon as the war started, Thomas Capewell, my grandfather in England, wanted to join the British army. As soon as he graduated from high school, John Williams, my grandfather in the United States

Topic Sentence

Topic Sentence

BODYBODY

wanted to join the navy. Things didn’t work out well for either of them. The draft board wouldn’t take Thomas because he had a heart murmur as a kid, and the navy wouldn’t take John because his eyesight wasn’t good enough. But that didn’t stop either of the men. Because

BODYBODY

Thomas was trained as an engineer, he helped design airplanes for his country. He was also part of a group that inspected enemy warplanes that were shot down. John passed the physical for the United States army and served in the infantry for three years. John

BODYBODY

was in Germany when the German army surrendered. He said that he and his war buddies really celebrated that night. Both of my Both of my grandfathers say that the war grandfathers say that the war taught them more than any other taught them more than any other experience in their lives.experience in their lives.

Closing SentenceClosing SentenceClosing SentenceClosing Sentence

Try it!Try it!

• Think of two people you know well who have things in common – perhaps two aunts, two friends, or two neighbors.

• Also think of an important or interesting point of comparison between the two people– Growing up– Involvement in a sport– Education– And so on

• On a piece of paper, write the point of comparison.• Then make a T- chart T- chart to list details

related to this idea for each person.

Points of Comparison: Involvement in Points of Comparison: Involvement in WWIIWWII

Grandfather Capewell• Wanted to join the British

army• Denied because of heart

murmur• Worked for aviation

industry• Inspected crashed

airplanes

Grandfather Williams• Wanted to join the US Navy• Denied because of poor

eyesight• Accepted in the army• Fought in Europe.

Point of ComparisonPoint of Comparison

Person One• Detail 1• Detail 2• Detail 3• Detail 4• Detail 5• Detail 6• Detail 7• Detail 8• Detail 9

Person Two• Detail 1• Detail 2• Detail 3• Detail 4• Detail 5• Detail 6• Detail 7• Detail 8• Detail 9

Write you topic sentence.Write you topic sentence.

• A specific point of comparison can usually be covered in one paragraph.

• To plan for his paragraph, Tim wrote this topic sentence, which identified the point of comparison to be covered.

• My grandfathers (subjects) proudly served their countries during World War II (point of comparison).

Try it!Try it!• Using your list of comparison

details, write a topic sentence that identifies your subjects and point of comparison.

Write your own comparison Write your own comparison paragraph.paragraph.

Use your planning (T-chart)Use your planning (T-chart)and the paragraph entitled “Doing and the paragraph entitled “Doing

Their Part.”Their Part.”

Rubric Rubric for for

Expository WritingExpository Writing

IDEAS

The topic, thesis, an details make the essay unforgettable

The essay is informative with a clear thesis and specific details.

The essay is informative with a clear thesis. More specific details are needed.

ORGANIZATION

The organization and transitions make the essay crystal clear and compelling.

The beginning interests the reader. The middle supports the focus. The ending works well. Transitions are used.

The essay is divided into a beginning, a middle, and an ending. Some transitions are used.

VOICE

The writer’s voice has the confident, knowledgeable sound of a professional writer.

The writer’s voice sounds knowledgeable and confident. It fits the audience.

The writer’s voice sounds knowledgeable most of the time and fits the audience.

WORD CHOICE

The word choice is precise, with just the right nouns, verbs, and modifiers.

Specific nouns and action verbs make the essay clear and informative.

Some nouns and verbs could be more specific.

SENTENCE FLUENCY

The sentences have flair and flavor, and the reader will enjoy them.

The sentences read smoothly.

Most of the sentences read smoothly, but some are short and choppy.

CONVENTIONS

The essay is error free. The essay has a few minor errors in punctuation, spelling, or grammar.

The essay has some errors in punctuation, spelling, or grammar.

A paragraph has A paragraph has threethree main parts. main parts.

1. The topic sentence introduces the two people and the point of comparison.

2. The body sentences support the point of comparison.

3. The closing sentence completes the comparison.

TOPIC SENTENCETOPIC SENTENCE DETAILS DETAILS (In bullet Points)(In bullet Points)

CLOSING SENTENCECLOSING SENTENCE

1 Who is the greatest American athlete of all time?

•Jim Thorpe & Jesse Owens•Great athletes•Overcame poverty/prejudice

Jim Thorpe and Jesse Owens were great athletes who overcame poverty & prejudice

2 •Detail 1•Detail 2•Detail 3

3 •Detail 1•Detail 2•Detail 3

4 •Detail 1•Detail 2•Detail 3

5 •Detail 1•Detail 2•Detail 3

6 •Detail 1•Detail 2•Detail 3

500 points

500 points

GATHERING GRIDGATHERING GRIDQUESTIONS JIM THORPE JESSE OWENS

When and where was he born?

What was his family like?

When did his talent first appear?

What was his first big success?

GATHERING GRID ContinuedGATHERING GRID ContinuedQUESTIONS JIM THORPE JESSE OWENS

What was his biggest succes?

What happened after his biggest success?

GATHERING GRIDGATHERING GRIDQUESTIONS JIM THORPE JESSE OWENS

When and where was he born?

Born in 1888 in a one-room cabin, Prague, Oklahoma (nativeamericans.com)

Born in 1913 in Alabama (jesseowens.com)

What was his family like? Poor, Native American name “Wa-tho-huck” meant “Bright Path” (All-American)

Poor, moved to Cleveland for better life (Jesse: The Man Who Outran Hitler)

When did his talent first appear?

At the Carlisle Indian School in PA (nativeamericans.com)

At Cleveland East Technical High on track team (“Jesse”)

What was his first big success?

Scored 25 touchdowns and 198 points in last season at Carlisle, All-American two years (wmgww.com)

Tied one world record and set three more – all with an injured back!(jesseowens.com)

GATHERING GRID ContinuedGATHERING GRID ContinuedQUESTIONS JIM THORPE JESSE OWENS

What was his biggest succes?

Pentathlon and decathlon winner at 1912 Olympics, decathlon score stood for 20 years (All-American)

Went to Berlin Olympics in 1936, won four gold medals in front of Hitler (World Book Encyclopedia)

What happened after his biggest success?

Medals stripped for “professionalism,” played pro baseball/football, movie extra, Chicago Park Dist. Staff (nativeamericans.com)

No endorsement deals, raced against motorcycles and racehorses, became public speaker (“Jesse”)

PrewritingPrewriting ★★ Create note cards Create note cards• A gathering grid is an effective way to

collect and organize details for an essay.• However, sometimes you need more

space, especially to record a quotation, to paraphrase important information, or to explain or define something.

• In these cases, you should use note cards.

PrewritingPrewriting ★★ Sample Note Cards Sample Note Cards• Number each new card, and write the

question at the top.• Then answer the question with a

paraphrase, a quotation, or an explanation.

• If necessary, identify the source of the information at the bottom of the note card.

ParaphraseParaphrase

11

QuotationQuotation22

ExplanationExplanation33

Today is Monday, September 10,2012Today is Monday, September 10,2012• Writing Standard 2.0• Write a personal narrative.Write a personal narrative.– Choose an important accomplishment in your life. Re-

create the experience with plenty of specific details. (in plain language – something that made you exclaim: “Yes! Yes! I did it.I did it.”)

– Present the experience in chronological order. Include a strong beginning, middle, and ending.

– Choose specific words with the appropriate connotation, or feeling.

– Use sentences that flow smoothly from one idea to the next.

– Be sure that your punctuation, capitalization, spelling, and grammar are correct.

DO NOT COPY. JUST BEGIN WRITING.

DO NOT COPY. JUST BEGIN WRITING.

Focus on points of comparisonFocus on points of comparison

• After gathering details about your subjects, it’s time to decide on the key points of comparison that you will make in your essay.

• After reviewing the assignment goals and his gathering grid, Rafael decided to focus on four points of comparison.

Points of ComparisonPoints of Comparison

• Childhood• Beginning career

• Middle career• Late career

Review your gathering grid and Review your gathering grid and decide on three to five important decide on three to five important

points of comparison that you points of comparison that you would like to use.would like to use.

(Examples: Childhood, Beginning (Examples: Childhood, Beginning Career, Middle Career, Late Career, Middle Career, Late

Career)Career)

List detailsList details

• Next, you should list the details that relate to each subject for each point of comparison.

• Here is how Rafael listed the details for his first two points of comparison: childhood and beginning career.

ChildhoodChildhood

Jim Thorpe• Born in 1888 in Prague, OK• Very poor• Native American name

“Wa-tho-huc” means “Bright Path”

Jesse Owens• Born in 1913 in Alabama• Very poor• African American• Moved to Cleveland• Worked odd jobs, couldn’t

make all track practices

SAMPLESAMPLE

Beginning CareerBeginning Career

Jim Thorpe• Led Carlisle Indian football

team to huge upsets• Named All-American

Jesse Owens• Track star of East Tech High• At Ohio State, tied one

world record and broke three

SAMPLESAMPLE

Middle CareerMiddle Career

Jim Thorpe• Detail one• Detail two• Detail three

Jesse Owens• Detail one• Detail two• Detail three

SAMPLESAMPLE

Late CareerLate Career

Jim Thorpe• Detail one• Detail two• Detail three

Jesse Owens• Detail one• Detail two• Detail three

SAMPLESAMPLE

LIST DETAILS

SUBJECT ONE SUBJECT TWO

CHILDHOOD

List details (3 to 4) List details (3 to 4)

BEGINNING CAREER

List details (3 to 4) List details (3 to 4)

MIDDLE CAREER

List details (3 to 4) List details (3 to 4)

LATE CAREER

List details (3 to 4) List details (3 to 4)

PrewritingPrewriting★★Write a thesis statementWrite a thesis statement

Two famous peopleJim Thorpe and Jesse Owens

Summary of main similarityGreat athletes who overcame poverty and prejudice

A strong thesis statementJim Thorpe and Jesse Owens were great athletes who overcame poverty and prejudice.

Outline your essay.Outline your essay.

• Before you write your first draft, you should outline the main information that you will include in the middle part of the essay to support your thesis statement.

• The following is the first part of Rafael’s sentence outline.

Thesis Statement: Jim Thorpe and Jesse Owens were great athletes who overcame poverty and prejudice.

1.1. [Point of Comparison][Point of Comparison]Both of these great athletes started life poor. Both of these great athletes started life poor. [Supporting Details][Supporting Details]

A.A. Jim Thorpe was born in 1888 near Prague, Oklahoma.Jim Thorpe was born in 1888 near Prague, Oklahoma.B.B. His Native American name was “Wa-tho-huk.”His Native American name was “Wa-tho-huk.”C.C. His twin brother and mother died when Jim was young.His twin brother and mother died when Jim was young.D.D. Jesse Owens was born in 1913 in Alabama.Jesse Owens was born in 1913 in Alabama.E.E. His family moved to Cleveland, and he worked many odd His family moved to Cleveland, and he worked many odd

jobs.jobs.

Now that you have Now that you have finished prewriting, finished prewriting,

you’re ready to you’re ready to write your first write your first

draft. As you write, draft. As you write, refer to your outline refer to your outline and your research and your research

notes.notes.

WritingWriting

Keys to Effective WritingKeys to Effective Writing

1. Include a thesis statement in the first paragraph and a topic sentence about a point of comparison in each middle paragraph.

2. Put all your ideas down on paper in your first draft.

3. Use your outline as a guide.4. Add specific details to explain each point of

comparison.

5. Use transition words and phrases to connect your ideas.

6. Write on every other line to leave room for later changes, or double-space if you’re working on a computer.

WRITINGWRITINGGet the big pictureGet the big picture

• Now that you have finished prewriting, you are ready to write a first draft of your essay.• The graphic that follows shows how

the parts of your essay should fit together.

BEGINNING

• The beginning captures the reader’s interest, introduces the two famous people, and states the thesis.

• Thesis StatementJim Thorpe and Jesse Owens were great athletes who overcame poverty and prejudice.

MIDDLE

• The middle contains a paragraph for each point of comparison and includes supporting details, paraphrases, and quotations.

• Topic SentencesBoth of these great athletes started life poor (Childhood)

• As young adults, Thorpe and Owens used their natural talents to achieve greatness. (Beginning career)

• These great American athletes then went on to succeed against the world’s best athletes. (Middle career)

• Following their days of Olympic glory, however, Thorpe and Owens both returned to harsh realities. (Late career)

ENDING• The ending revisits the thesis and reflects on

the importance of the two famous people.• Closing Sentences

Jim Thorpe and Jesse Owens overcame poverty and prejudice to become two of the greatest athletes of all time. Their accomplishments live on in the sports they helped to integrate and in the world they helped to change.

Start your Start your essay.essay.

The beginning of your essay should

capture the reader’s interest,

introduce your subjects, and

state your thesis.

Here are some ways to get the reader’s attention.

• Ask a question.Who is the greatest American athlete of all time?

• Start with a quotation.“Sir,” the King of Sweden said to Jim Thorpe, “you are the greatest athlete in the world.”

• Use a surprising statistic.During one Big Ten meet, Jesse Owens tied one world record and set three more – all with an injured back!

• Connect with the reader.Imagine being a high school athlete who could beat world records.

Beginning ParagraphBeginning Paragraph

• Rafael starts his essay by asking a question.• He then includes details leading to his thesis

statement, which introduces the focus of his writing.

• In the following beginning paragraph, the writer captures the reader’s interest and leads up to his thesis statement (highlighted).

Who is the greatest American athlete of all time? Most people think of people like Muhammad Ali, Jackie Joyner-Kersey, or Babe Ruth. However there two other great American athletes that some people may have forgotten about. These two people caught the world’s attention many years ago, and they still inspire us today. Jim Thorpe and Jesse Owens were great athletes who overcame poverty and prejudice.

TRANSITIONS

• also• both• but• by contrast• each• however

• Likewise• on the one hand• on the other hand• similarly• though• yet

Develop the middle part.Develop the middle part.

• Follow your outline to write the middle part of your essay.

• Be sure to expand on the key ideas with additional information from your note cards.

Middle Paragraphs

Both of these great athletes started life poor. In 1888, Jim Thorpe was born on a farm near Prague, Oklahoma. His parents named him Wa-tho-huck, a Native American name that means “Bright Path.” (“Jim”). Still, he didn’t have a bright early life. Thorpe’s twin brother, Charlie, died when Jim was nine, and his mother died shortly afterward. Thorpe attended one Indian school after another in Oklahoma, Kansas, and Pennsylvania before his athletic talent was recognized.

Topic sentences

identify each main point of comparison.

Topic sentences

identify each main point of comparison.

A paraphrase puts

information in the writer’s own words.

A paraphrase puts

information in the writer’s own words.

Jesse Owens also had a tough childhood. He was born in 1913 into a poor Alabama family. They moved north to Cleveland, hoping for a better life, but couldn’t find one. During high schoo, Ovens worked so many odd jobs that he couldn’t make afternoon practices for the track team. However, track coach Charlie Riley recognized Owens’ talent and offered to train him in the morning (“Jesse”).

As young adults, Thorpe and Owens used their natural talents to achieve greatness. In 1911 and 1912, Thorpe led the Carlisle Indian School varsity football team to victory over powerful teams such as Army, Georgetown, Harvard, and Pittsburgh. Thorpe scored 25 touchdowns and 198 points in his last season, and he was named All-American for two years running (“Jim”). In the same way, Owens became a track start in high school and college. At Cleveland East High School, he tied the world-record time for the 100-year dash. At

Facts and statistics

produce a knowledgea

ble voice.

Facts and statistics

produce a knowledgea

ble voice.

Ohio State University, he tied one world record and set three more, all in less than an hour and with an injured back! Owens broke the broad-jump record by placing a handkerchief at the old mark – 26 feet 2 ½ inches – and jumping nearly 6 inches beyond it (“Jesse”).

These great American athletes then went on to succeed against the world’s best athletes. Jim Thorpe was chosen to represent the United States in the Stockholm Olympics of 1912. There he easily won the pentathlon and set a

Decathlon score (8,413 points) that wouldn’t be topped for 20 years (“Jim”). The king of Sweden even declared Thorpe “the greatest athlete in the world,” to which Jim replied, “Thanks, King.” (“Thorpe”). Twenty-four years later, in 1936, Jesse Owens represented this country in the so-called “Hitler Olympics.” Adolph Hitler believed the Aryan race was superior, but as he watched, Owens won four gold medals, breaking an Olympic record and a world record. But Owens’ greatest accomplishment was winning

the hearts of the German people. Even Luz Long, the top German long jumper, befriended Jim in front of Hitler. Owens later said, “You can melt down all the medals and cups I have, and they wouldn’t be a plating on the 24-karat friendship I felt for Luz Long” (“Track”).

Following their days of Olympic glory, however, Thorpe and Owens both returned to harsh realities. The Olympic committee removed Thorpe’s medals because of complaints about his “professionalism.” (Professional)

Quotations add insight into

Owens’ personality.

Quotations add insight into

Owens’ personality.

athletes were not allowed to compete, and Thorpe has earned $15 a week playing minor-league baseball.) Thorpe returned to playing baseball and football, became a Hollywood extra, and finally ended up on the recreation staff of the Chicago Park District (“Jim”) Owens became a “runner-for-hire,” racing against ballplayers, motorcycles, or even racehorses (“Biography”). “It was bad enough to have toppled from the Olympic heights to make my living competing with animals,” Owens once said, “but the competition wasn’t even

An explanation makes the meaning

clear.

An explanation makes the meaning

clear.

fair. No man could beat a racehorse, not even for 100 yards” (“Quotes”). Unlike Thorpe, though, Owens kept an optimistic spirit, which launched him into a new career: motivational speaking.

End of essay.

• Your ending should be strong since it contains the last thoughts for your reader.

• The following are some ways to create a strong ending.

• Reflect on the importance of your subjects.Athletes such as Jim Thorpe and Jesse Owens paved the way for other athletes like Mia Hamm and Tiger Woods.

• Provide an effective quotation.Jesse Owens summed up his winning spirit this way: “Friendships are born on the field of athletic strife and are the real gold of competition. Wards become corroded; friends gather no dust.”

• Include additional information of interest.In 1982, 30 years after his death, the Olympic committee returned Thorpe’s medals to his family.

Ending Ending ParagraphParagraph

Eventually, these two athletes got the recognition they deserved. In 1976, President Ford gave Owens the Medal of Freedom, the highest honor a civilian can receive (“Biography”). In 1982, thirty years after his death, the Olympic committee returned Thorpe’s medals to his family (“Jim”). Jim Thorpe and Jesse Owens overcame poverty and prejudice to become two of the greatest athletes of all time. Their accomplishments live on in the sports they helped to integrate and in the sports they helped to integrate and in the world they helped to change.

The writer revisits

the thesis and

reflects on the

importance of the

subjects.

The writer revisits

the thesis and

reflects on the

importance of the

subjects.

REVISINGREVISING

• When you revise, you improve your writing.• You – add important new information, – delete unnecessary details, – change the order of ideas, – and rework parts that do not sound right.

Keys to Effective Revising

1. Read your essay aloud to get a feeling for how well it works.

2. Be sure your thesis statement and topic sentences are clear.

3. Check you supporting details. Do they work and are they enough of them?

4. Consider your voice. It should sound knowledgeable and engaging.

5. Check your words and sentences for clarity and variety.

6. Use editing and proofreading marks.

COMPARATIVE ESSAY PORFOLIO CHECK-LIST

DESCRIPTION Total Pts Your Pts

1 FAMOUS-PEOPLE CHART 100 Due 10/01/12

2 GATHERING GRID 100 Due 10/01/12

3 NOTE CARDS 100 Due 10/01/12

4 DETAILS LISTS (4 Points of Comparison)

100 Due 10/01/12

5 SENTENCE OUTLINE OF ESSAY 100 Due 10/01/12

6 FIRST DRAFT 300

7 REVISING CHECKLIST 100

8 EDITING CHECKLIST 100

9 FINAL DRAFT 500

TOTAL 1500

Famous-People ChartFamous-People Chart

11

GATHERING GRIDGATHERING GRIDQUESTIONS SUBJECT 1 SUBJECT 2

When and where was he born?

What was his family like?

When did his talent first appear?

What was his first big success?

What was his biggest success?

What happened after his biggest success?

NOTE CARD PARAPHRASENOTE CARD

PARAPHRASE

NOTE CARD QUOTATIONNOTE CARD

QUOTATION

NOTE CARD EXPLANATION

NOTE CARD EXPLANATION

33

LIST DETAILS

SUBJECT ONE SUBJECT TWO

CHILDHOOD

List details (3 to 4) List details (3 to 4)

BEGINNING CAREER

List details (3 to 4) List details (3 to 4)

MIDDLE CAREER

List details (3 to 4) List details (3 to 4)

LATE CAREER

List details (3 to 4) List details (3 to 4)

44

Two People + summary of main similarity = A Strong Thesis Statement

1.1. [Point of Comparison][Point of Comparison]Both of these subjects. . .Both of these subjects. . .[Supporting Details][Supporting Details]

A.A. Supporting detail oneSupporting detail oneB.B. Supporting detail two Supporting detail two C.C. Supporting detail threeSupporting detail threeD.D. Supporting detail fourSupporting detail fourE.E. Supporting detail fiveSupporting detail five

Sentence Outline of Essay

55

PrewritingPrewriting★★Write a thesis statementWrite a thesis statement

Two famous peopleJim Thorpe and Jesse Owens

Summary of main similarityGreat athletes who overcame poverty and prejudice

A strong thesis statementJim Thorpe and Jesse Owens were great athletes who overcame poverty and prejudice.

REVISING FOR IDEASREVISING FOR IDEAS• When you revise for ideas, you assure that

the central similarity between the two people is clear.

• You also decide whether you should include a surprising contrast.

• Number 6 on the RUBRIC:MY ESSAY SHOWS THE STRONG SIMILARITY BETWEEN TWO PEOPLE, AND IT IS FULL OF SUPPORTING DETAILS.

Have I focused on a Have I focused on a significant similarity?significant similarity?

• You have focused on a significant similarity if you show an important way that the two people are alike.

• Start by checking your thesis statement.• A weak thesis statement: Gloria Estefan is a

singer, as was Selena.• A strong thesis statement: Singers Gloria

Estefan and Selena helped introduce Latin music to the United States.

Read the following pairs of thesis statements. Which one shows a

more important similarity between the two people? Substantiate your answer.

1. Queen Elizabeth I and Queen Victoria came to the throne because male heirs could not be found.

2. Queen Elizabeth I and Queen Victoria ruled during England’s most powerful and profitable periods.

1. Christopher Columbus and Ferdinand Magellan believed they could sail around the world.

2. The voyages of Christopher Columbus and Ferdinand Magellan changes the course of European history.

1. Elizabeth Cady Stanton and Susan B. Anthony shared a vision of equality for all women everywhere.

2. Elizabeth Cady Stanton and Susan B, Anthony lived in the East but traveled across many states.

How can a surprising How can a surprising contrast improve my essay?contrast improve my essay?

• A surprising contrast will add interest to your essay.• The contrast should point out a

significant differences between your chosen subjects.

Decide which of each Decide which of each pair of contracts is more pair of contracts is more

surprising.surprising.

1. Madeleine Albright and Condoleeza Rice come from different parts of the country.

2. Many of Condoleeza Rice’s foreign-policy decisions completely overturn those made by Madeleine Albright.

1. Bruce Lee was the most famous martial-arts star, but Jackie Chan is quickly overtaking him.

2. Bruce Lee’s fighting style was derived from karate and king fu.

1. Hemingway enjoyed traveling the world, while Faulkner preferred staying in Oxford Mississippi.

2. Hemingway was more popular at first, but Faulkner has become very popular.

Revising for Revising for OrganizationOrganization

• To revise for organization, be sure that your beginning and ending work well and that each middle paragraph covers a key point of comparison.

• RUBRIC 6THE KEY POINTS OF COMPARISON AND TRASITIONSS MAKE THE ESSAY ENGAGING.

Do my beginning and Do my beginning and ending sentences work ending sentences work

well?well?

• You know your beginning and ending sentences work well if your writing creates a strong first impression and an even stronger final impression.

• The best way to find out is to ask a classmate to review the following sentences.

• Ask for a peer response. Have your partner read your beginning and ending and then answer the following questions.

Friday, October 5, 2012Friday, October 5, 2012• Continue writing your first draft.• Once you finish your first draft, have it peer

corrected. CORRECTOR MUST WRITE NAME ON PAPER AND SIGN.

• Re-write your first draft: DOUBLE-SPACED.• SUBMIT your FIRST & SECOND DRAFTS• Last day to submit – Monday.

EXPOSITORY WRITINGEXPOSITORY WRITINGExplaining a ProcessExplaining a Process

How-to Essay or Process EssayHow-to Essay or Process Essay

How does a florist arrange a How does a florist arrange a bouquet? bouquet? What’s the best way What’s the best way to find hidden clues in a video to find hidden clues in a video game? game? What are the steps to What are the steps to building a bat house? building a bat house? How do How do

you set up a Web log?you set up a Web log?

When you When you explain how explain how to do something to do something in an in an essay, you are doing essay, you are doing expository writing.expository writing.

Writing GuidelinesWriting Guidelines

Subject: Something you know how to do or

how to make Form: How-to essayPurpose: To explain a processAudience: Classmates

PrewritingPrewritingSelect a topicSelect a topic

The purpose of your The purpose of your essay is to explain how essay is to explain how to do or how to make to do or how to make

something.something.

To find a topic for your To find a topic for your essay, essay, make a list make a list of things of things

you know how to do or you know how to do or make. You then make. You then put an put an

asterisk asterisk next to three topics next to three topics that you like the best.that you like the best.

To find a topic for his essay, Chen To find a topic for his essay, Chen made a list of thing he knew how made a list of thing he knew how

to do or make. He then put an to do or make. He then put an asterisk next to three topics that asterisk next to three topics that

he liked the best.he liked the best.

TOPIC LISTTOPIC LIST

Things I know how to do or makeThings I know how to do or make::ride a mountain bikeride a mountain bikemake jiaozi (food)make jiaozi (food)**build (something)build (something)create (something like a blog)create (something like a blog)play shortstop in softballplay shortstop in softball**water –skiwater –skidraw Pegasusdraw Pegasus** (or something) (or something)make an origami swanmake an origami swan

TOPIC LISTTOPIC LIST

Things I know how to do or makeThings I know how to do or make::ride a mountain bikeride a mountain bikemake jiaozi (food)make jiaozi (food)**build (something)build (something)create (something like a blog)create (something like a blog)play shortstop in softballplay shortstop in softball**water –skiwater –skidraw Pegasusdraw Pegasus** (or something) (or something)make an origami swanmake an origami swan

FOCUS YOUR TOPICFOCUS YOUR TOPIC

You should pick a how-to topic that You should pick a how-to topic that is the “right size” for an essay. A is the “right size” for an essay. A

topic that is too narrow won’t topic that is too narrow won’t provide enough information for an provide enough information for an essay. One that is too broad may essay. One that is too broad may

lack focus or run too long.lack focus or run too long.

Chen decided that playing Chen decided that playing shortstop was too broad and shortstop was too broad and

drawing Pegasus was too narrow. drawing Pegasus was too narrow. He selected He selected making jiaozi making jiaozi for his for his

topic because it seemed to be the topic because it seemed to be the right size for an essay.right size for an essay.

““Try Try it!”it!”

Write the heading “Write the heading “Things I know Things I know how to do or make.how to do or make.””

List at least five ideas and put an List at least five ideas and put an asterisk (*) next to the two or asterisk (*) next to the two or

three topics you like best. Then three topics you like best. Then focus your topic so that it is the focus your topic so that it is the

right size for your essay.right size for your essay.

FOCUS ON THE TRAITSFOCUS ON THE TRAITS

IDEASIDEASA good how-to essay is more than A good how-to essay is more than just a list of directions. It should just a list of directions. It should

include details that will interest and include details that will interest and inform the reader. In order to do inform the reader. In order to do

this, choose a topic that you enjoy this, choose a topic that you enjoy and understand well.and understand well.

Gather and Organize Gather and Organize DetailsDetails

Ease your reader into the steps of Ease your reader into the steps of your how-to essay with some your how-to essay with some

background information. Chen background information. Chen used interesting details and a used interesting details and a

quote about the food to quote about the food to encourage the reader to read on.encourage the reader to read on.

Other ideas are listed here:Other ideas are listed here:

• How you got interested in the topic (I learned that there are more than 3,000 stuffings for jiaozi.)

• How you learned to make or do it. (My mother taught me.)

• Why you enjoy it (Jiaozi is part of my culture.

Once you have your Once you have your background information, background information, you’ll need a list of the you’ll need a list of the materials necessary to materials necessary to complete the process.complete the process.

Materials List

Dough Fillingwhite four Ground port (one pound)cold water finely chopped cabbage-one cupsalt Finely chopped onion (a few

tablespoons)Grated ginger

Time Line

Steps (chronological) first, second, et ceter