english is funny

is

There is no egg in the eggplant

No ham in the hamburger

No pine or apple in the pineapple

English Muffins were notinvented in England

French fries were notinvented in France

Quicksand takes you down slowly

Boxing rings are square

A Guinea Pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig

If writers write, how come fingers don’t fing?

If the past tense of “teach” is “taught”, why isn’t the past tense of “preach” “praught” instead of “preached”?

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If a vegetarian eats vegetables,

then what the heck does a humanitarian eat?

Why do people recite at a play, yet play at a recital?

Park on drivewaysand drive on parkways?

How can the weather be hot as hell on one day and cold as hell on another?

A house can burn up as it burns down,

and you fill in a form by filling it out

When the stars are out they are visible, but when the lights are out they are invisible

And why is it that when I wind up my watchit starts, but when I wind up this story it ends

If the plural of mouse is mice, then why isn’t the plural of house hice?

If the plural of man is always men, why shouldn’t the plural of pan be called pen?

If I spoke of my foot and showed you my feet, when I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet? If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, why shouldn’t the plural of booth be called beeth?

If the singular is this, and the plural is these, why shouldn’t the plural of kiss be kese?

Then one may be that, and three would be those, yet the plural of hat would never be hose.

The plural of box is boxes; but why should the plural of ox be oxen and not oxes?

One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, yet the plural of moose should never be meese.

We speak of a brother and also of brethren,but though we say mother, we never say

methren.

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The End

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