effective communication positive way to get your message across (talking and listening) both verbal...

Effective Communication

Positive way to get your message across (talking and listening) both

verbal and nonverbal

Written by Barbara Mackessy

Voice Quality

• A person's vocal quality tells a message that is independent of the words spoken.

• As you speak, the sounds say as much or more than the words themselves.

Voice Quality

• Do you show doubt, fear, boredom, or fatigue in your voice?

• Do you show happiness, enthusiasm, confidence and sincerity in your voice?

• Be aware of your voice quality at all times.

Voice

• Strong, full voice shows confidence.

Voice

• A higher pitch and volume and faster rate of speaking convey enthusiasm.

Voice & Communication

• Vocal changes can drawing attention to the important parts of your message.

• If you slow down and lower your volume when you say something important, your message will sink in.

Voice

• Be relaxed. • This helps establish trust and reduce tension

because you are being yourself.

RESOLVING CONFLICT • People naturally disagree about what to do and how and

when to do it.

• An emotional differences of opinion can result in damaging conflict.

• Emotionally locked into one idea with the believe that there is only one way to meet our needs results in conflict with only two options: fight or flight.

Body Language

• Body language describes human interaction excluding

the use of written and spoken words.• • You must be able to read body language to be a good

communicator.

• Practice tends to improve the ability to understand body language.

Body Language • Body language shows conscious and subconscious emotions,

desires, and attitudes.

• Body language is often more reliable than verbal communication and may even contradict verbal expressions.

• Body language is an outlet for your feelings.

• Our body language communicates our sincerity and commitment.

Body Language is nonverbal• Body language can be as much over 50% of the message

that is being communicated.

• If you learn to read body language then you can read the

emotions and attitudes of others you interact with at home and at work.

Hearing & Listening• Hearing – the actual sounds/noise• Listening – trying to understand and comprehend

what is being verbalized.

• The difference between "hearing" and "listening" is huge, because listening is a skill that has to be learned, practiced and developed over time.

Listening With Body Language

• What you do with your eyes, face, hands, arms, legs, and posture sends out signals as to whether you are, or aren't, listening to and understanding what the other person is saying.

What would you think if someone did these things when you were talking to them?

• Glancing sideways• Sighing• Yawning• Frowning• Crossing arms on chest• Looking at the ceiling• Cleaning fingernails• Cracking knuckles• Jingling change or rattling keys when someone was

talking• Fidgeting in chair

Impressions

• Do you show interest in what other people are saying?

• As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "What you are is shouting so loud, I can't hear what you are saying."

Conversely, consider these mannerisms:

• Looking into your eyes• Smiling frequently• Raising eyebrows periodically• Grinning at appropriate moments• Using expressive hand gestures when

speaking• Keeping eyes wide open• Licking lips• Tilting head• Leaning toward you

Listening

• When listening, a person shows interest in you and what you're saying.

• In addition, the active listener usually acknowledges the speaker verbally as well with such comments as "I see," "Uh-huh," "Mmmm," or "Really?” and non verbally by the nod of a head.

How to Show that You Are Listening

• Think about how you like to be listened to.

• What are the important responses you look for in other people when they are listening to you?

Here are four things most people mention:

• First, eye contact.

• When you don't have eye contact with your listener, you may feel like you're talking to a concrete wall.

Second - Responses

• Second, verbal responses and vocal participation such as, "Hmm," "Yeah," "Wow!" and "No kidding?" These show interest in what's being said.

Third - Gestures

• Third, other acknowledging gestures such as smiling, nodding one's head, leaning forward with interest, directly facing the speaker, and appropriate facial expressions or body language.

• These gestures say, in effect, "I'm really interested in what you have to say."

Fourth – To Clarify

• To paraphrase or make clarifying remarks that restate the speaker's points, such as "If I understand you correctly, you're saying that..." or "In other words, the biggest hurdles are...” or “Is this what I heard…”.

• In other words paraphrase what has been said to make sure you are getting the main point of the message.

Four step to Improvement

• First – Maintain Eye Contact

• Second – Give verbal responses

• Third – Use Acknowledging gestures

• Fourth – Clarify what was said.

Impressions

• You only get one chance to make a first impression.• Don’t allow yourself to be pushed over the edge, to rant

and rave, and to say and do things that you later regret, that's the "you" that will be remembered.

.

Take a deep breath – Practice using the ability to pause and refrain from

giving immediate feedback. – Many an argument can be avoided if one side refuses

to be defensive. – Give feedback without thinking firstcan be like

throwing gasoline on a fire if you misunderstand the intent of the other person's message.

Remember:

• People will always believe that what you say in your worst moments is closer to your true beliefs than what you more carefully tailor for their consumption in calmer times.

Keys to Effective Feedback

• Effective communication between two people is not easy.

• You really have to practice to make it work. • Through the effective use of feedback skills, you

can create a good communication skills.

Give and Get Definitions.

• The interpretation of words or phrases may vary from person to person, group to group, region to region, or society to society.

• America is made up of people from diverse cultures, races, ages, and religions.

• The words you use in everyday conversations almost inevitably have multiple meanings.

Meanings• The abundance of meanings of even

"simple" words makes it hazardous to assume to understand the intent of a message without verifying and clarifying that message.

• Paraphrase what was said!!!

Don't Assume. • Do not assume anything in communications. If you do, you stand a

good chance of being incorrect. • Don't assume that you and the other person are talking about the same

thing. • Don't assume that the words and phrases you are both using are

automatically being understood.

Ask Questions.• "When in doubt, check it out." • Clarifying questions, • Expansion questions, • Direction questions, • Fact-finding questions, • Feeling-finding questions, • Open questions.

Speak the Same Language.

• Abstain from using jargon. • Simplify your language and your technical terms so that

everyone can understand you.

Stay Tuned In.• Look for and recognize nonverbal signals that indicate

you are causing the other person to become uncomfortable and lose interest.

• Observe the other person.

End Results???

• The results you see in your life at school and work will be all the reward you will ever need.

• Better communication skills equals a better chance for success.

Effective Communication

• Positive way to get your message across (talking and listening) both verbal and nonverbal