editing. clarity starts with grammar! misplaced modifiers dangling modifiers parallel construction...
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clarity
starts with grammar!
• misplaced modifiers• dangling modifiers• parallel construction• passive voice
if you do not understand the meaning of any of these terms:
• ask now • goto grammargirl.com• goto owl.english.purdue.edu
grammar basics: “quotations”
•quote versus quotation• Quote is a verb that means to repeat what someone else has said or written.• Quotation is noun used to describe what you are quoting.
quoting/paraphrasing/summarizing
CITE YOUR SOURCES!
(see owl.english.purdue.edu/owl)
• Quotations are identical to the original and use a small portion of the source. They match the source document word for word and must be attributed to the original author.
• Paraphrasing is putting a passage from source material into your own words. A paraphrase must also be attributed to the original author. Paraphrased material is usually shorter than the original passage, taking a somewhat broader segment of the source and condensing it slightly.
• Summarizing is putting the main idea(s) into your own words, including only the main point(s). Once again, it is necessary to attribute summarized ideas to the original source. Summaries are significantly shorter than the original and take a broad overview of the source material.
using quotations
• Use direct quotations sparingly, choosing them carefully to make an impression. • A quotation can be short–one or two words–or an entire
paragraph or passage• Only quote a long passage if you then proceed to discuss it at
length, making it valuable for the reader. Do not quote a long passage because you are lazy!
• If you are quoting a long passage (usually more than5 lines), indent the quotation, setting it apart from the paragraph in which you analyze the quotation. Depending on the style guidelines you are using, single or double space the quotation.
• A paper composed mainly of quotations or ideas from other authors (à la Frankenstein) runs in to the plagiarism risk called “patchworking”! Plagiarism is not tolerated in any form.
using quotations: ellipsis
those little dot-dot-dots … The most common and formal use of ellipses is
to indicate an omission.
If you're quoting someone and you want to shorten the quotation, you use ellipses to show where you've dropped words or sentences. Original: “The World’s Fair is fascinating because of its
scope, and it will be a rewarding study.” My professor said, “the World’s Fair is fascinating… and
it will be a rewarding study.”
double quotation marksDOUBLE QUOTATION MARKS “ ”
are often used around titles: I recently read the article “This is the Title of the
Article I’m Citing.”
used to indicate that a word is special in some way - something called “scare quotes” (foreign terms, irony, sarcasm): Take me to your “leader.”
when you want to refer to a word rather than use its meaning The term “scare quotes” is odd.
single quotation marksSINGLE QUOTATION MARKS ‘ ’
when you are quoting someone who is quoting someone else; you enclose the primary speaker's comments in double quotation marks, and then you enclose the thing they are quoting in single quotation marks: He said “I think she said ‘you’re awesome,’ but I’m not
sure.”
when there's a quote in a headline: Harvard Archaeologist Finds ‘Awesome’ Old Thing
to highlight words with special meaning in certain disciplines such as philosophy, theology, and linguistics
be concise
• more words more better!
• if you can remove words from a sentence w/out changing the sentence’s meaning, do it!
• use that vocabulary! a precise word choice can replace wordy extrapolation
techniques
1.Replace several vague words with more powerful and specific words.
2.Interrogate every word in a sentence.
3.Combine Sentences.
some examples from Acadia University English Dept. (http://english.acadiau.ca/Grammar/):
common useless words:
• generally - tend to - really - apparently - in my opinion - very basically - I think that - various - essentially - I feel in some ways - virtually - I believe - for all intents and purposes
• due to the fact that = because
• for the purpose of = for
• appear to be = appear
• with the possible exception of = except
• almost any use of “being”
tips on eliminating words
• Eliminate words that explain the obvious or provide excessive detail
• Eliminate unnecessary determiners and modifiers
• Omit repetitive wording
• Change Passive Verbs into Active Verbs
cohesion
Do your sentences "hang together?"
1. Readers must feel that they move easily from one sentence to the next, that each sentence relates to the one before and after it.
2. Readers must feel that sentences in a paragraph are unified with each other.
Paragraphs
Will your reader quickly identify the "topic" of each paragraph?
proofreading tips Read your work out loud.
Have a friend read it or read it to you.
Always proofread a printed version of your work (though try to use scrap paper!).
Give yourself some time!!!
It is easier to see coherence and clarity in other people's writing; we become familiar with our content. Detached re-reading takes practice. PEER REVIEW.
sources: grammargirlirl.com, owl.english.purdue.edu/owl
peer review guidelines
think: what would you like to hear?
praise & constructive criticism
conversation & suggestions
pay attention to revising:
grammar/mechanics/style
big ideas
organization/flow of ideas
1. read
2. write comments
3. discuss
4. make specific recommendations
• “Higher Order Concerns”: Big Picture• Topic• Audience• Thesis Statement & Purpose• Organization• Supporting data
• “Lower Order Concerns”: Mechanics• spelling• grammar• punctuation• sentence structure• word choice• syntax (word order)
• Higher & Lower Order Concerns necessary for success!
1.Tell what you're going to tell them (introduction).
2.Tell them (body).
3.Tell them what you told them (conclusion).
see http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/
A “thesis statement” is the statement at the opening of your piece that presents your controlling idea and summarizes your argument for the reader; it formulates both your topic and your point of view (MLA).
How to write an effective thesis:
1. Determine the kind of piece you are writing: analytical? breaks down an issue or idea into its component parts, evaluates the issue or
idea, and presents this breakdown and evaluation to the audience expository? explains something argumentative? makes a claim about a topic and justifies this claim with specific evidence narrative? (sometimes no thesis)
2. Create a succinct, specific thesis statement that covers ONLY what you piece will cover is supported with specific evidence/language is debatable
3. Locate your thesis statement within the first paragraph of the paper – usually at the end, after an introductory/framing segment
4. ALWAYS review your thesis when you are finished with the piece – your topic may have changed!
Clearly defined topicClearly defined thesis statement/argumentGoal is to persuade audience to that point of viewMust support thesis with proof (specific data) and
sound reasoning use secondary and primary sources
A “topic sentence” is the main sentence (controlling idea) of an individual paragraph, which describes its content and direction.
• There is only ONE topic per paragraph.
• Information that is not related to the topic sentence does NOT belong in the paragraph.
• A new topic requires a new topic sentence and a new paragraph.
within a paragraph, a reliable way to
organize information is to move from general
to specific:
1. Transition sentence: relates to previous paragraph for clear progression of ideas
2. Topic sentence: tells the reader what you will be discussing in the paragraph.
3. Evidence and analysis: relates to your topic and provides detail
4. Wrap-up sentence: tells the reader how and why this information supports the paper’s overall thesis statement; it demonstrates that the information in the paragraph is related to your thesis and helps defend the thesis
What is the topic sentence?
Do all the sentences relate to a single topic sentence?
Do the ideas move logically from the general to the specific or vice versa?
Does the paragraph move from transition (relating the previous paragraph to this one), to topic, to evidence, to wrap-up (relating this idea to the thesis statement)?
Knives were an integral part of Montagnais culture. The name Montagnais means “Mountaineers” in French. When the French originally came in contact with the Innu, which they prefer to be called today, they were impressed by the ability to survive in the harsh winters and thus called them “Mountaineers”. I am assuming the sheath was probably a present given to a husband, brother, or son in the community to commemorate a first hunt or a ritual hunt. The quills embroidered on the sheath also represent and important part of their culture because the Montagnais were also referred to as the “Porcupine Indians”. They thought the porcupine was a delicacy. The sheath was used to protect the tool that the Montagnais needed for their survival.
Conclusions summarize and wrap up your piece/argument. Your conclusion is marked by a move back to general information that restates the main points of your argument.
restate your topic and why it is important,restate your thesis/claim,(perhaps) address opposing viewpoints and explain
why readers should align with your position,(perhaps) call for action or overview future
research possibilities.
in-class editing: clarity
READ FOR
• grammar
• proper quotations & citations
• succinctness
• cohesion
STEPS:
1. Read over the passage in its entirety before noting changes.
2. RE-read correcting grammar/citation.
3. RE-read shortening sentences and phrases; choosing specific words.
4. RE-read for cohesion of ideas – is the main message clear?
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