defacto couples who marry have a 50% higher divorce rate than those who just marry 46% of australian...

Defacto couples who marry have a 50% Higher divorce rate than those who just

marry

46% of Australian marriages break down46% of Australian marriages break downWomen initiate divorce 4 in 5 casesWomen initiate divorce 4 in 5 cases

75% of De facto couples separate after 4

years 25% separate after 1st 12 months

AUSTRALIAN EXAMPLE:AUSTRALIAN EXAMPLE:

30% of all marriages are likely to break down after 20 years

10% after 6 years…

Over the past decade, more than 75,000 marriages in Australia lasted less than 2

years.

Canada/USA…50% & 60% subsequent

DIVORCE ISSUESDIVORCE ISSUES…currently 43% to 50%

Declining stability of relationshipDeclining stability of relationship

Communication

Intimacy/FeelingsIntimacy/Feelings

Solving of issues

Engaging in difficult timesEngaging in difficult times

Feelings of Future

Parenting…Discipline & Values

Divorce Issues

Declining stability of relationship

Communication

Intimacy/Feelings

Solving of issues

Engaging in difficult times

Feelings of Future

““Marriage is not about romance. Marriage is not about romance.

It’s about reality.It’s about reality.

It is about lost car keys and lost jobs,

fuses blowing in the middle of breakfast,

children who get into trouble at school and

the untold trivia that make up the life of two

people together.”

Source: Sunday Life, The Sunday Age, April 1, 2001

TIPS FOR LONG TIPS FOR LONG RELATIONSHIPRELATIONSHIP

GOALS - Short Term:GOALS - Short Term:

WeekendsWeekends

Movies Once a MonthMovies Once a Month

Kids…baby sitterKids…baby sitter

Work FutureWork Future

Renovations…improvements to you & Renovations…improvements to you & homehome

TIPS FOR LONG RELATIONSHIP (cont.)TIPS FOR LONG RELATIONSHIP (cont.)

GOALS - Medium Term:GOALS - Medium Term:

Trips AwayTrips Away

Romantic WeekendsRomantic Weekends

Buy Something For ThemBuy Something For Them

Investments TogetherInvestments Together

House/WhereHouse/Where

Plan 5 Years Ahead For General StuffPlan 5 Years Ahead For General Stuff

TIPS FOR LONG RELATIONSHIP (cont.)TIPS FOR LONG RELATIONSHIP (cont.)

GOALS - Long Term:GOALS - Long Term:

Semi RetirementSemi Retirement

RetreatRetreat

Overseas TripOverseas Trip

Trip Around AustraliaTrip Around Australia

GrandchildrenGrandchildren

TIPS FOR RELATIONSHIPSTIPS FOR RELATIONSHIPS

Make Love…Good sex regularlyKiss your partner with Passion Romance your partner X 2ayear Dinner with Family once a week Timeout from work for SELF & Family

YES…YES…means Relationships GROWmeans Relationships GROW

TIPS FOR MORE SEXTIPS FOR MORE SEX

Use Mobile…ET Phone HomeUse Mobile…ET Phone Home

DinnersDinners

SurprisesSurprises

Flowers

Date

Plan Little Things

Attend Kids Sport/FunctionsAttend Kids Sport/Functions

Stuff Around The House Stuff Around The House

eg: Vacuum, Ironingeg: Vacuum, Ironing

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Males Play an Important Role

Parenting ..... Is a PartnershipParenting ..... Is a Partnership

Don’t undermine each other

Set ... Rules...Standards

& Expectations Together

TIPS FOR PARENTINGTIPS FOR PARENTING Clear Rules Clear Standards Set Standards Set Attitudes Set Parenting Limits

Helps to make Parenting Easier... Helps to make Parenting Easier... even for Separated Parentseven for Separated Parents

Remember All Kids need Boundaries

...Kids see Parenting as...LOVE...Kids see Parenting as...LOVE

PositiveDiscipline

ROLE MODELLING AT ROLE MODELLING AT HOMEHOME

We are responsible for changing

and modifying unacceptable

behaviour.

We are responsible for developing

good social behavioural

outcomes.

RELATIONSHIPSRELATIONSHIPSWhat’s ImportantWhat’s Important• Communication• Connection• Understanding the other person• Real feelings• Mateship• Friendship• Supportive But not always Fixing• Consideration• Affection• Above all….. that they know your LOVEAbove all….. that they know your LOVE

Divorced Parenting Divorced Parenting

Don’t undermine the other parent

Set ... Rules…Standards

Plan stuff/holidays/their space

Keep to the rules

Have fun with the kids

Understand their CONFUSION

Remember…it will be hard

ROLE MODELLING AT ROLE MODELLING AT

HOMEHOME

The Fridge...& Teenager

Rules for Going Out

…MUM & DAD rules

ROLE MODELLING AT ROLE MODELLING AT

HOMEHOME

The Fridge...Great Place

for Writing Up…

Rules & Outcomes

The GoodThe Good

The The BadBad

And... The The UglyUgly

Do with kids…What they think…Accept & Work through..NO Debating

The Thoughts of our kids

ADOLESCENTSADOLESCENTS

Our FutureOur Future

Top 10 Issues - ComparisonTop 10 Issues - Comparison CENTRAL VICTORIA & CANADA…BOYSCENTRAL VICTORIA & CANADA…BOYS

CentralVictoria

Issue Canada Issue

1 Sex 1 Relationships2 Relationships 2 Sex3 Dating 3 Social Skills4 Dealing with girls 4 Dating, Jobs for Me5 Sexuality / intimacy 5 Drinking6 Drinking 6 Sexuality/Intimacy7 Jobs for me 7 Living together8 Social skills 8 Talking to Teachers9 Career Paths 9 Knowledge

10 Being a bloke 10 Emotions/Depression

Year 10 Boys and Girls Experiences

87%

69%

40%33%

19% 18%

87%80%

52%

31% 29%24%

0%

20%

40%

60%

80%

100%

% o

f Y

es

resp

on

ses

Boys

Girls

CENTRAL VICTORIACENTRAL VICTORIACombined Boys and GirlsCombined Boys and Girls

Unsafe Sex ….Unsafe Sex ….

Reasons For Not Practicing Safe Sex

48%

21%

9%5%

17%

48%

22%

7% 8%

15%

0%

10%

20%

30%

40%

50%

60%

Affected bydrink / drugs

Forgot a condom Pressure not to Think it’s betterw ithout acondom

Other

% o

f R

es

po

ns

es

Girls

Boys

MESSAGE FROM KIDSMESSAGE FROM KIDS

Know your Kids

Know their Friends Names

Invite Their Friends Over

Family Dinners

Timeout Together