deep in the trenches,

Stuck in a rut.

Deep in the Trenches,

Common state of being for school personnel these days.

Emotional Bankruptcy

Not enough drops in the bucket!Budget cutsLack of material

resourcesLack of human

resourceAsked to do more

with lessESEA waiverCommon Core

StandardsEvaluation tied to

student progress

What to do about it?Run and hide????? Roll over and play

dead????

Run and Hide? Roll over and Play Dead?

Just ignore it and hope it goes away?

Or deal with it before it blows up in your face?

So Let’s Begin, How do you deal with difficult people?

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Generally, difficult people will fall into one or more of these categories:

Hostile/Aggressive types

Know it all

Snipers

Complainers

Quiet type

Yes, people

Negaholic

Characteristics

Bullies and loudmouths Intimidation Territorial

Dealing:

Stand up to them Assert yourself

Redirect

Smile

Hostile and Aggressive Types

Characteristics:

I am better than you.

I know more, just ask me.

I am an expert.

Dealing:

Patience

Redirect/include others

Self confidence

Know it All

SnipersCharacteristics:

Sarcasm

Innuendo

Back stabbing

Covert

Dealing:

Overt-get it out in the open

Confront-don’t let them get away with it. FACE to FACE

Be open and honest.

Complainers

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Characteristics:

Whine

Avoid responsibility

Martyr syndrome

Blame others

Tends to cycle

Dealing:

Break the cycle

Don’t agree it only makes them worse

Interrupt if necessary and take control.

Listen, what are they really trying to tell you.

Silent type

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Characteristics:

Avoid risk at all costs

Non-committal

Seek safety by refusing to respond

May respond with “I don’t know” or “I don’t care”

Dealing:

Ask open ended questions

Allow pointed silence

State what you are willing to do.

Tell them if they are not going to respond then you take that as an affirmative for what you want to do.

Agreeable—Yes, yes, yes

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Characteristics:

Always agreeable even when they don’t have all the facts

May be seen as “brown-nosing”

People pleaser

Over-promises and never delivers

Avoids conflicts

Dealing:

Ask for opinions

Make honesty non-threatening

Don’t allow them to over commit

Check progress

Negaholic

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Characteristics:

Often they have been deeply disappointed in life

May not trust

Pessimist

Lost locus of control

Dealing:

Don’t let them get to you.

Be careful it doesn’t become contagious

Give them success

Build trust

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Don't take difficult people's behavior personally. Their behavior is habitual and affects most people with whom they come in contact.

Don't fight back or try to beat them at their own games. They have been practicing their skills for a lifetime, and you're an amateur.

Don't try to appease them. Difficult people have an insatiable appetite for more.

Don't try to change them. You can only change your responses to their behavior.

If you don't observe them, do irritating people disappear?

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matter is actually 99.9999....% empty space

observation affects reality.

if you let someone irritate you, or you let one thought dominate your mind. You continue to carry something that should have been set down a long time ago. And of course the frustration you carry around, the difficult person probably isn't thinking twice about. Why should you be the person suffering?

So what does this have to do with Special Ed!

You are the Peacemaker.

We are all in this together.

IEP at a glance

LRE

In-class vs. direct service

Difference between accommodations and modifications.

People react in different ways when they find out a student in their class

needs accommodations ...

Differentiated InstructionTerminology from general education.

AccommodationsTerminology from special education.

Different Terms Same Thing

How do I get things done when I have to deal with difficult people and situations?

Productivity

Be FriendlyHave a little or lot of patienceListenDon’t gossipBe respectfulModel

Getting along with others

Personalize

1. Know your customer

Have plan A, but always have plan B, C, or D if needed.

2. Have a marketing plan

Personable, innovative, creative.Have a sense of humor

3. Differentiate:

negotiate, compromise, win-win.

4. Solve problems:

Use your expertise.

5. Educate:

Things do not always go the way you want them to.

6. Embrace Rejection

Ethical decisions; honesty

7. Maintain integrity:

So on those days when you feel you are being sucked into a black hole

Get a Grip!Try one or more of these stress relievers

1. Exercise

2. Quiet thoughts

3. Laugh

4. Reach out to others

5. Learn to say no-don’t overburden yourself.

6. Breathe

7. Get a good nights sleep

8. Journal

9. Get musical

10. Seek counsel

Remember you are not Superman!

Its all in your attitude!

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What does it take to make it in the educational workplace?

Be positive

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Optimistic

Find the Good things in life

Be Patient

Don’t get harried or hurried.

Be an Individual

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You are not just “one of the crowd”

Stand out and be proud of it.

Be Adaptable

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Just know that as soon as you get your schedule made some one is going to want to change it. And guess who will have to be flexible????

May not have planned it this way but work with what you have.

Be Courageous

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Courage is not about having no fears, but the ability to overcome fears and do what you need to do.

Be confident

Collaborate

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Work together

Talk, talk, talk

Even when you don’t want to.

Do it FACE to FACE

Explore

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Explore new ideas

Try new things

Don’t be afraid of trial and error.

“If we know exactly where we're going, exactly how to get there, and exactly what we'll see along the way, we won't learn anything. ” M. Scott Peck, The Road Less Traveled

“The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers.”M. Scott Peck, The Road Less Traveled