dealing with difficult emotions (part 1)

The Anatomy of Anger

“I’m against that!”

For anger to exist there must be a standard and a judge.

A Standard

“Whenever one of my friends hosts a party, I must be invited.”

A Judge

You broke my standard, therefore I must punish you!

Observations About Anger

• Anger is not intrinsically sinful.

God the Father Exhibits Anger.

11 God is a righteous judge, a God who expresses his wrath every day.

Psalm 7:11

Jesus Exhibited Anger.

  5 He looked around at them in anger and, deeply distressed at their stubborn hearts, said to the man, "Stretch out your hand." He stretched it out, and his hand was completely restored.

Mark 3:5

The Holy Spirit Provoked Anger

6 When Saul heard their words, the Spirit of God came upon him in power, and he burned with anger.

1 Samuel 11:6

God Permits Us To Be Angry

26 Be angry, and yet do not sin. Do not let the sun go down on your anger.

Ephesians 4:26

Observations About Anger

1. Anger is not intrinsically sinful.

2. Anger becomes sinful when it is provoked by an non-biblical standard.

“Why am I angry? What standard has been violated?

6 Then the Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry? And why has your countenance fallen?

Genesis 4:6

Standard: “My response of worship must never be rejected, even if it violates what God has revealed about the nature of acceptable worship.”

Violation of standard: “God rejected my sacrifice, and I’m angry with him about it.”

Standard: “My sense of equality with, or superiority over my brother Abel must never be threatened.”

Violation of Standard: “Abel’s sacrifice was accepted and mine was rejected. I’ve lost face, and I’m angry about it.”

Observations About Anger

3. Anger becomes sinful when expressed in a destructive manner.

7 “If you do well, will not your countenance be lifted up? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door; and its desire is for you, but you must master it.”

Genesis 4:7

  8 …And it came about when they were in the field, that Cain rose up against Abel his brother and killed him.

Genesis 4:8

Handle Your Anger in a Godly Way

1. Examine your standard

2. Determine to follow Biblical principles in the power which God supplies.

Follow Biblical Principles

1. Refuse to exact personal vengeance. (Romans 12:19)

19 Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, “VENGEANCE IS MINE, I WILL REPAY,” says the Lord.

Romans 12:19

Follow Biblical Principles

1. Refuse to exact personal vengeance. (Romans 12:19)

2. Be quick to forgive. (Eph. 4:31-32)

31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.

32 Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.

Ephesians 4:31-32

Follow Biblical Principles

3. Don’t vent your anger; learn to control it. (Prov. 29:11)

A fool always loses his temper, but a wise man holds it back.

Proverbs 29:11

The beginning of strife is like letting out water, so abandon the quarrel before it breaks out.

Proverbs 17:14

Follow Biblical Principles

4. Diffuse anger by giving a soft answer. (Proverbs 15:1)

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Proverbs 15:1

To sum up, let all be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kind-hearted and humble in spirit; not returning evil for evil, or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead.

1 Peter 3:8

Follow Biblical Principles

5. When addressing perceived wrongs follow the following guidelines from Ephesians chapter 4.

Follow These Guidelines

• Don’t exaggerate (Eph. 4: 25)

25 Therefore, laying aside falsehood, speak truth each one of you with his neighbor…

Follow These Guidelines

• Keep Current (Eph. 4:26b)

26 Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger,

Follow These Guidelines

• Be gracious and edifying in your speech and tone (Eph. 4:29)

29 Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear.

Follow These Guidelines

• Be sensitive to timing (Eph. 4:29)

29 Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear.

•

 9 Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God.

Matthew 5:9