counseling & the bible: people helping skills- purpose to help better understand self &...

Counseling & the Bible: people helping skills-

Purpose

To help better understand self & skills in light of Scripture- enabling us to better help and love people (in pain)

Counseling & the Bible: people helping skills-

Outline

I. Do the Bible & psychology conflict?

II. What motivates us to help others?

III. Why does counseling help?

IV. Basic counseling skills: techniques

V. Basic counseling skill: issues

VI. Roadblocks to helping

What is Psychology?1) If you understand it and can prove it,

then send it to a journal of mathematics.

2) If you understand it, but can't prove it, then send it to a physics journal.

3) If you can't understand it, but can prove it, then send it to an economics journal.

4) If it attempts to make something important out of something trivial, then send it to a journal of education.

5) If you can neither understand it nor prove it, then send it to a psychology journal.

Oreo PsychologyPsychologists have

discovered that the manner in which people eat Oreo cookies provides great insight into their personalities. Choose which method best describes your favorite method of eating Oreos:

Oreo Psychology• The whole thing at once • One bite at a time • Slow and methodical nibbles,

examining the results of each bite afterwards

• In little feverous nibbles • Dunked in some liquid (milk,coffee...) • Twisted apart, the creme inside, then

the cookie • Twisted apart, the creme inside, and

toss the cookie • Just the cookie, not the creme inside • I just like to lick them, not eat them. • I don't have a favorite way because I

don't like Oreos.

Oreo Psychology If you have selected your answer, read

on to see what your answer says about your personality:

The whole thing

This means you consume life with abandon, you are fun to be with, exciting, carefree with some hint of recklessness. You are totally irresponsible. No one should trust you with their children.

One bite at a time

You are lucky to be one of the 5.4 billion other people who eat their Oreos this very same way. Just like them, you lack imagination, but that's ok, not to worry, you're normal.

Oreo PsychologySlow and Methodical

You follow the rules. You're very tidy and orderly. You're very meticulous in every detail with everything you do to the point of being anal retentive and irritating to others. Stay out of the fast lane if you're only going to go the speed limit!

Feverous Nibbles

Your boss likes you because you get your work done quickly. You always have a million things to do and never enough time to do them. Mental break-downs run in your family. Valium and Ritalin would do you good.

Oreo PsychologyDunked

Every one likes you because you are always up-beat. You like to sugar-coat unpleasant experiences and rationalize bad situations into good ones. You are in total denial about the shambles you call a life. You have a propensity toward narcotic addiction.

Oreo Psychology

Twisted apart, the inside, then cookie

You have a highly curious nature. You take pleasure in breaking things apart to find out how they work, though not always able to put them back together, so you destroy all the evidence of your activities. You deny your involvement when things go wrong. You are a compulsive liar and

exhibit deviant, if not criminal, behavior.

Oreo PsychologyTwisted apart, eat the inside, then toss

the cookie

You are good at business and take risks that pay off. You take what you want and throw the rest away. You tend to be greedy and self-centered. You should be ashamed of yourself! But that's ok, you don't care anyway.

Just the cookie, not the inside

You enjoy pain.

Lick them, not eat them

Stay away from small furry animals and seek professional help immediately!

Oreo PsychologyDon't like Oreo cookies

You probably come from a rich family, and like to wear nice things, and go to up-scale restaurants. You are particular and fussy about the things you buy, own, and wear. Things have to be just right. You like to be pampered. You are a prima donna. There's just no pleasing you!

Demystify Psychology

• What is psychology?

• What is counseling?

• How important is it for you to see a Christian counselor? Why?

• How does psychology conflict with Scripture?

Secular vs. Sacred ModelMeans of Finding Truth:

Scientific Method: Empirical

1 Means of Truth: Bible- Revelation

View of Other Truth Claims

Revelation may be destructive

Empiricism may be destructive

What is harmful?

Religion causes inhibition/guilt

Psy.Removes inhibition- rationalizes guilt

Root of Problem

1 basic cause psychological

1 basic cause spiritual

The Solution 1 dimension psychological

1 dimension spiritual

I. Four Approaches to Integration

•Separate but Equal

•Tossed Salad

•Nothing Buttery

•Spoiling the Egyptians

From our fear and pain, we often view psychology as inherently evil- or psychological principles as anti-Christian…

IIa. View of Humanity: What are our

psychological & spiritual needs?

• the need for direction & hope… self-worth consisting of the need for love & purpose

• There exists… “deep longings in the human heart for relationship and impact”… which can only be met in life with Christ

IIb. View of Humanity: What is the Basic Problem?• SIN…

• But… not all emotional & mental distress is a result of sin (think of it yourself)

• Jesus showed this as he suffered (Mt. 26:36-39) yet he was without sin (Heb. 4:15)

Questions to Ponder

• How do we know that our pain is from sin?

• From organicity/chemical?

• From living as a human?

• From God?

IIc. View of Humanity: What is our Goal & Purpose?• To know God… to be in

relationship with him…

• For the Christian: to mature in Christ and obey his will (Rom. 8:29)

• Point: emotional/mental health is subordinate to this ultimate goal… but… mental/emotional health is a worthwhile goal

Put counseling in it’s proper perspective: subordinate to the ultimate goal of humanity; not inherently evil or wrong- yet measured against Scripture

III. Basic View of Counseling: What do People Seek

Help For?• Advice in making decisions

• Answers to troublesome ?’s

• Depression & guilt; Anxiety & fear

• Career guidance

• Crisis- Failures- Grief

• Bizarre behaviors/perceptual dist.

• Drugs & alcohol

• Marital & family trouble/sex prob.

• Conflict resolution/interpersonal

• Work & school difficulties

Define Counseling

A caring relationship in which one person tries to help another deal more effectively with the stresses of life (psychotherapy tries to radically alter or remold personality)

Define Counseling-

my additionsA relationship in which you walk through pain or struggle with somebody to help them get out of it (sometimes)- to help them grow from it (sometimes)- to help them draw closer to God (always)… a relationship- not advice

IV. Basic Principles of Christian Counseling

1. John 14: 16,17…. At least 3 people are involved in every counseling situation

Pray that God reminds us of the power/presence of the Holy Spirit to work through us and in another’s life

Who are we to think we can have that kind of impact??

Basic Principles...

2. II Tim. 3:16-17

The Bible is the basic guide for dealing with problems in living

But is it an exhaustive guide?

It does not speak meaningfully to every human problem… but..

Basic Principles...

3. James 5:16

Prayer is an integral part to healing… before meeting… after… during

But… in proper timing- some may not be ready to pray at the time of meeting

Basic Principles...

4. The ultimate goal is moving people towards maturity in Christ… to free themselves to better worship and serve God

Basic Principles...

5. Personal qualities of the counselor are important for effective counseling

What are they?

Spiritual maturity-Gal.6:1-2

Knowledge & Wisdom- Rom. 15:14; Col. 3:16

Personal Characteristics

Basic Principles...Personal Characteristics:• self understanding-

understand others

• acceptance of others

• objectivity-or appropriate distance

• getting along with people

• experience

• honest

• available

• willing to see limits of ability

Basic Principles...

6. The individual’s attitudes, motivations, and desire for help are the most crucial factors for determining whether we can be helpful or not

Vanderbilt Psychotherapy Study: showed the #1 predictor of counseling success...

Patients who were not hostile or mistrustful and who actively contributed to the therapy interaction achieved greater changes than those who were withdrawn, defensive, or otherwise unwilling to engage in the therapy process

Basic Principles...

7. The relationship is another significant variable in the effectiveness of counseling (core conditions are necessary= empathy, respect, genuineness, confrontation,

concreteness, immediacy)

Basic Principles...

8. Effective counseling is a process which unfolds cyclically, from exploration to understanding to action… be patient with the process

Basic Principles...

9. The specific style or approach to counseling does not matter… healing takes place through many variables (did Jesus respond the same way to everyone?)

Basic Principles...

10. Counselors must be aware of their limits in knowledge & skill… know when to refer