congratulations graduate
Post on 14-Apr-2018
218 Views
Preview:
TRANSCRIPT
-
7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate
1/84
CONGRATULATIONS
GRADUATE!Eleven Reasons Why I Will Never Hire You.
-
7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate
2/84
-
7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate
3/84
THE
REALWORLD
AWAITS.
-
7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate
4/84
-
7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate
5/84
Never mind the color of yourparachute, some of you have
NO PARACHUTES AT ALL.
-
7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate
6/84
AND THAT CAN LEAD
TO A HARD LANDING.
-
7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate
7/84
Employersknow that
not all gradsare created
equal.
-
7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate
8/84
-
7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate
9/84
More often though, we dont.
-
7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate
10/84
E A E
-
7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate
11/84
You are justnot the right fit.
-
7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate
12/84
A more impressive candidate
captured our attention
-
7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate
13/84
IMPLY AICTIM OF
OME OTHERRANDOM
EVENT OUTOF YOUR
I didnt postthat picture.
-
7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate
14/84
-
7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate
15/84
-
7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate
16/84
why?
-
7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate
17/84
Is it you?
-
7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate
18/84
-
7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate
19/84
-
7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate
20/84
Whatever the reason,
there are consistent
themes as to why you
didnt get the job.
-
7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate
21/84
This wont be the first time youve heard
these and it wont be the last, but as your
class flourishes shiny new resumes in front
of prospective employers, here are the top
reasons why I will never hire you.
-
7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate
22/84
-
7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate
23/84
I appreciate your desire to
showcase yourclasswork,high schoolaccomplishments,extracurricularendeavors and yourthree marketing
projects.
-
7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate
24/84
But I needto see clarity and definition in what you present.
-
7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate
25/84
Make it RELEVANT, make it CONCISE, make it FOCUSED.
-
7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate
26/84
AN
OVERLYLONGRESUME
DOES NOTIMPRESS
ME
-
7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate
27/84
(Aridiculously shortresume is equallydangerous. Did you do anything besides attend class?)
-
7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate
28/84
YOUDIDNTPREPARE FOR OUR INTERVIEW.
-
7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate
29/84
Youre probably a better
internet surfer than I am, so
why didnt you spend a few
minutesgathering intelligenceabout me or my business?
-
7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate
30/84
Youdidntlook
atmywe
bsite.
Youfailed
tocheck
meouto
n
LinkedInorTw
itter.
Youdidn
tlearnm
ypetpee
ves:
makeeyecontac
t;learnto
hold
aconver
sation;givet
houghtful
answerst
odifficult
questions.
XXX
-
7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate
31/84
(IM NOT ALWAYSCONCERNED WITHYOUR ACTUAL
ANSWER BUTRATHER YOURCOMPOSUREAND THINKING
PROCESS WHENANSWERING IT).
-
7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate
32/84
Q
UESTIO
NS
3.
-
7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate
33/84
LOOK UP QUESTIONS TO ASK ONLINE.
Find 30 questions
NO ONE HAS EVER ASKED ME.
questions grads should ask in an interview
-
7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate
34/84
SHOW MEHOW YOUGATHERINFORMATION.
-
7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate
35/84
Do you want me to think
Im going to have to
do the work for you,
or that youll show up
prepared every day?
-
7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate
36/84
YOU WROTE ATHANK YOU NOTE,and only used it to thank me.
-
7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate
37/84
I ALSO ENJOYED OURTIME TOGETHER,SO INSTEADOF JUSTTHANKING ME,
ADD VALUE.
-
7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate
38/84
USEYOURNOTE(email ornote/card are all fine
nothing is not)TO SHOW YOURPASSION FOR
THIS JOB.
-
7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate
39/84
Reflect upon
what you
learned
in the interview.
-
7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate
40/84
-
7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate
41/84
YOUDRESSEDFOR
FAILURE
-
7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate
42/84
MY WORKPLACEIS CASUAL,at least most of the time.
Many offices arethese days.
-
7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate
43/84
But you should not be for an interview.
g
-
7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate
44/84
Jeans,c
hinos
,t-shirt
s,sundresses
and
oth
erc
lothi
ng
youmay
wear
toaweeke
ndcook
out
or
an
ight
clu
b
(eve
nani
ceon
e)wont
cut
it.
-
7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate
45/84
I want to know what youll look like when I take you to see a client.
-
7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate
46/84
Show me that you understand this.
-
7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate
47/84
-
7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate
48/84
-
7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate
49/84
-
7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate
50/84
BUT WHEN YOU TELL ME THAT,
YOURE BASICALLY SAYING,PLEASE INVEST LOADS OFTIME AND MONEY INTO ME,
AND MAYBE IT WILL HELPME FIGURE OUT THAT I WANT
TO DO SOMETHING ELSE me
rk fe
-
7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate
51/84
Convinc
eme
thatyouv
ewanted
towork
here
yourw
holelife
.
-
7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate
52/84
-
7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate
53/84
YOUR FOLLOW-UPNOTE SHOULDHAMMER THE
POINT HOME.
-
7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate
54/84
-
7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate
55/84
-
7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate
56/84
Because Im notreally into candidates
who wont throwthemselves 100%into the opportunity
at hand.
-
7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate
57/84
I DONT EXPECT
-
7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate
58/84
I DONT EXPECTYOU TO BE AN
EXPERT INANYTHING
JUST GETTINGOUT OFSCHOOL, BUT
YOUR RESUMECLAIMS SOCIAL
MEDIAEXPERTISE.
-
7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate
59/84
Dumb Tweeter@dumbtweeter
Your eight tweets in the last six monthsare not signs of immersion. (And yourregular use of #fuckinA isnt eective.)
-
7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate
60/84
-
7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate
61/84
Spelling Tumblr
with an esays something but not the
right thing.
-
7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate
62/84
Dabble in social while at school for sure.
T ll
-
7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate
63/84
Tell me
you haveexposure
to socialnetworks.
-
7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate
64/84
t
-
7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate
65/84
YOUDID
NT
PROOFR
EAD
.
D
idnt
-
7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate
66/84
-
7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate
67/84
-
7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate
68/84
YOU DONTHAVE A LINKEDIN PROFILE
-
7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate
69/84
LINKEDIN IS THE PLACE TOSHOWCASEYOUR PROFESSIONAL
SKILLS, EVEN IF THEY
ARE NASCENT
-
7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate
70/84
SETITUP
RIGHT
(therearelo
tsoftipson
line
tohelp)
andgiveits
omelove.
-
7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate
71/84
(ortwoorthree).
DOANINT
ERNS
HIP
-
7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate
72/84
WHILE THIS IS MORE FOR THOSE
STILL IN SCHOOL THAN THOSE
JUST OUT, NOTHING MAKES YOU
MORE ATTRACTIVE TO ME THAN
KNOWING YOUVE BEEN EXPOSED
TO A SIMILAR WORK ENVIRONMENT.
-
7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate
73/84
Internships also help you decide if my job represents
the right structurefor you saving us both time and agony
if it turns out you just dont like what we do.
-
7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate
74/84
I get50-100 resumeseach
semester from new graduates.
Those with internships sit well
ahead of those without.
YPR
-
7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate
75/84
YO
ULAC
KE
D
ROF
ESSION
ALCO
URTES
Y!
-
7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate
76/84
You wereTWO MINUTES LATE.
-
7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate
77/84
You LOOKED AWAYwhen you shook my hand
-
7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate
78/84
I INTRODUCEDYOU TO MY
COLLEAGUEAND YOU DIDNT
EVEN ASK HERWHAT SHE DOES.
-
7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate
79/84
WHY?
WHY WOULD I WANT
TO EXPOSE YOU
TO MY CLIENTS?
-
7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate
80/84
YOU AND YOUR
FAMILY HAVE INVESTED
VAST AMOUNTS OFTIME ANDMONEY INTO
GETTINGYOUR DIPLOMA.
-
7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate
81/84
ITS A SMALL BIT OF EXTRA EFFORT TO MAKE SURE YOU DONT RUIN YOUR CHANCES IN THE INTERVIEW.
-
7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate
82/84
I WILL HIRE SOMEONE I JUST WONT HIRE YOU.
-
7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate
83/84
-
7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate
84/84
Mark OToole is managing director of PR & content at HB agency, a B2B marketing and communications firm
with global clients in clean tech, medical tech and high tech. Despite the very true observations in the article
above, Mark has hired countless talented PR pros over the last 15 years. Reach Mark at motoole@hbagency
or on Twitter @markrotoole.
Design and layout courtesy of HBs Matt Gustavsen & Christine Tesseo.
https://twitter.com/markrotoolehttps://twitter.com/markrotoolehttps://twitter.com/markrotoole
top related