comox writing.feb.2013

Creating Writers: all students writing and writing well

Comox  Valley  Nov.  21,  Feb.  6.,  Apr.  17,  2013  

Faye  Brownlie  www.slideshare.net  

Gallery Walk – writing lesson •  In  groups,  3  things  that  count  in  wriFng  •  Made  class  list  and  categorized  •  Focus  on  meaning  and  thinking  

–  DescripFon  –  ImaginaFon  –  Detail  –  Knowledge  –  Focus  –  Ideas  –  Passion  –  Intriguing  –  Understandable  

•  Place  a  series  of  pictures  around  the  room  •  Students  in  groups  of  3  •  3  minutes  per  picture  

•  Chat  –  How  could  you  use  this  image  in  your  wriFng?  

•  Build  on  one  another’s  thinking  •  View  4  pictures  

•  Eagle  Dreams  -­‐    Wri.en  by  Sheryl  McFarlane  ;  Illustra;ons  by  Ron  Lightburn;    

•  ISBN:  1-­‐55143-­‐016-­‐9  

•  Task:    a  piece  of  wriFng,  choose  your  genre,  think  about  the  criteria  

•  As  you  are  moving  to  your  desk,  keep  walking  unFl  you  have  your  first  line  in  your  head  

•  12  minutes  to  write  

•  As  students  are  wriFng,  move  about  the  room,  underlining  something  powerful  (criteria  connected)  in  each  person’s  wriFng  

•  Each  student  shares  what  was  underlined  •  Listen  to  hear  something  you  might  want  to  borrow  

•  As  a  class,  decide  on  why  each  was  underlined  •  Create  the  criteria:  – Words  that  are  WOW  – Details  that  showed  emoFon  or  made  a  picture  

– Hook  –  first  line  made  me  want  to  keep  reading  

Sample  1  

One  cool  and  breezy  night,  in  a  prairie,  a  boy  sat  on  the  rim  of  his  open  window,  looking  out  at  the  moon,  hoping  for  something  to  happen.    A^er  a  few  minutes,  he  went  back  in  and  close  his  window.    Robin  sighed.  “I  wished  my  life  has  more  excitement  in  it,  “  he  thought,  before  he  turned  off  his  light  and  went  to  bed,    he  took  one  quick  look  at  his  kite  on  top  of  his  bed  that’s  shaped  like  an  eagle,  and  went  to  sleep.  

Sample  3  Once  upon  a  Fme  there  was  a  boy  that  was  facinated  by  eagles,  he  

asked  his  father  to  get  one  for  him  but  he  couldn’t.    Then  the  boy  thought  about  a  way  to  catch  an  eagle  and  then  a  different  gender  one  for  more  eagles.    Delighted  with  his  idea  that  he  thought  of  last  night,  he  conFnued  his  plan.    He  put  3  fishes  in  the  open  with  a  trap,  and  went  to  bed.    Then  he  heard  a  noise  that  sounded  like  an  eagle.    When  he  had  checked  the  trap,  he  found  an  eagle  that  was  in  his  trap.    Happily  jumping  around,  the  eagle  made  him  inspired  to  make  a  home  for  the  eagle.    He  created  a  bond  with  the  eagle.    He  remembered  how  much  his  father  despised  eagles.    He  lead  the  eagle  to  a  secret  place  in  the  forest  where  his  father  never  went.    He  came  downstairs  and  his  father  was  in  a  rage.    He  threatened  to  ground  his  son  if  he  didn’t  kill  the  eagles.  Shocked,  the  boy  asked  why  he  told  him  so.    The  father  said  they  …  

Sample  4  

At  Sunday,  the  Ximing  and  his  father  mother  go  travel.    On,  Ximing  say  “I’m  see  a  eagle!”    His  father  and  his  mother  is  going  to  his.    And  his  mother  say  “Oh,  Help  it!”    OK.    It  was  heal.    OK.    We  are  go  back  home!  

At  home:  Today  is  very  funning.  Because  we  are  helpa  eagle!    I’m  so  happy  now!  Ximing  is  Fme  to  eat  a  dinner  say  mother  say  …  

•  Kids  can  add/edit/conFnue  to  work  •  Set  up  for  next  class  – Work  on  same  criteria  – Hear  again,  pieces  that  work  – Move  to  where  kids  can  idenFfy  criteria  in  their  own  work  and  ask  for  help  with  criteria  that  are  struggling  with  

•  A^er  repeated  pracFce,  students  choose  one  piece  to  work  up,  edit,  revise,  and  hand  in  for  marking  

•  Feedback  is  conFnuous,  personal,  Fmely,  focused  

IDEAS ORGANIZATION SENTENCE FLUENCY WORD CHOICE VOICE CONVENTIONS

clear message

narrow focus

details beginning middle end flow: use of transitions

complete sentences

variety of beginnings

sentence length variety

variety of words

poetic devices

passion for topic

writer’s personality

reader/writer connection

spelling grammar punctuation use of paragraphs

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30

Name of Student by: Michael Campsall and Carol Walters

•  Lori  Mansueto  –  Miracle  Beach  

•  Barb  Belcher,  Carol  Walters,  Caroline  Parrish  -­‐  Queenesh  

Students need: •  Models and think-alouds •  Practice with applying criteria to the work

of others – practicing together •  Guided choice in topics •  To share their beginning before they leave

the carpet •  Time to write •  Feedback while writing