cockney.docx
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Cockney-English
FREELANG: Cockney-English dictionary and English-Cockney dictionaryThis dictionary was made by Bertrand Girardi.
Cockney-English (below)
English-Cockney (click)
COCKNEY ENGLISH USE AND CULTURAL MATTERS
A
Abergavenny Penny
Abraham Lincoln
Stinkin
Acker Bilk Milk Would you like Acker in your coffee? Acker Bilk (born Bernard Stanley Bilk) was born in 1929 is a master of the clarinet and leader of the Paramount Jazz Band. Interestingly, his nickname Acker is a Somerset term meaning friend or mate
Ackers Money
Adam and Eve Believe I don't Adam and Eve it! [Usually full slang expression is used]
Adam Ant Pants Get your adam's on
Adrian Quist Pissed
Airs and Graces
Faces
Airs and Graces
Braces He's got his new airs on.
Alan Minter Splinter Picked up this wood and got a terrible Alan in me finger. Alan Minter is a British boxer with a current record of 39-9 (23 by KO)]
Alan Whickers Knickers The 'lastics gone in me alans. Alan Whicker used to host a TV programme called Whickers
World
Alans Pants
Alderman's Nail
Tail He's always wagging his alderman's.
Ali McGraw Straw
All Night Rave Shave
All Time Loser Boozer
Allan Border Out of Order He's bang Allan. used when someone does something to another person that is not looked upon favourably. Allan Border was the Australian cricket captain in the late 80's/early 90's so we now have our first example of international rhyming slang.
Alligator Later
Almond Rocks Socks Wouldn't it be nice if your almonds matched?
Alphonse Ponce
Ancient Greek Reek
Andy Cain Rain
Anna Maria Fire
Anneka Rice Ice
'appeny dip Ship
Apple Core Score (�20) I gave me last apple to that old paraffin.
Apple Fritter Bitter (beer) I've tried that new apple but I prefer my salmon [Salmon and trout - stout].
Apple Tart Fart
Apples and Pears
Stairs Get yourself up the apples.
April fool Stool
April fool Tool
April Fools Football Pools
April in Paris Arse I'm 'aving terrible trouble with me April How can such a simple word have so many convoluted references? April in Paris -> Aris (from Aristotle -> bottle which is from bottle and glass -> arse.)
April Showers Flowers I forgot it was my anniversary, so I picked some aprils on the way home.
Archer 2000
Are you George?
Are you sure?
Aris Arse
Aristotle Bottle If you want milk, put the Ari on the doorstep. Every now and again they throw a curve at you. One person has suggested that, not being familiar with Aristotle, early Cockney's might have assumed the name was Harry Stottle!
Army and Navy
Gravy Can I have some army for my mashed?
Arnold Palmer Farmer (see usage)
e's a right Arnold. I love this one - it refers to a golfer who spends a lot of time in the long grass around a course
Artful Dodger Lodger She's taken in an artful to help pay the way.
Arthur Ashe Cash That blokes not short of Arthur
Arthur Bliss Piss I'm just popping out for an Arthur .Arthur Bliss was a famous English composer (1891-1975).
Arthur Scargill Gargle (drunk) e's right Authur'd
Ascot Races Braces
Aunt Nell Smell He don't half Aunt Nell
Auntie Annie Fanny She's just sitting at home on her Auntie Annie
Auntie Dot Hot
Auntie Ella Umbrella Wonderful - it's starting to rain and me without my Auntie Ella.
Auntie Lily Silly
Auntie Nellie Belly I punched him in the Auntie but he didn't even notice.
Ayrton Senna Tenner ere, lend us an aryton me old china. Ayrton Senna was a Formula One driver
B
Babbling Brook
Crook He's always on the babble. Meaning he's always planning something crooked. See also Cook.
Babbling Brook
Cook My missus couldn't babble to save her life. See also Crook.
Bacon and Eggs
Legs Lovely set of bacons.
Bacon Rind Blind Are you completely bacon?
Bacon Sarnie Pakistani They've hired a new bloke at the shop - he's a bacon. Sarnie is a slang term for sandwich (and
if you haven't eaten a cold bacon sandwich you haven't lived.
Bag of Fruit Suit
Bag of Sand Grand He owes me a bag.
Bag of Yeast Priest
Baked Bean Queen (Elizabeth II)
Baked Potato Later I'll see ya baked.
Baker's Dozen Cousin
Bale of Hay Gay Don't bother Britany - he's bale.
Bale of Straw Raw
Ball of Chalk Walk After a heavy meal I like quick ball round the square.
Balloon Car Saloon Bar I'll be at the balloon.
Ballroom Blitz Tits (breasts) She's got marvellous ballrooms. Ballroom Blitz is a song by a group named Sweet.
Band of Hope Soap
Bangers and Mash
Cash I knew his cheques were dodgy, so I got him to pay me in bangers.
Bar 1000000
Barclays Bank Wank He's having a barclays.
Barn Owl Row (argument)
Went up to the dole office today. 'Ad a bit of a barney with the geezer behind the desk. Not satisfied with the slang, the word is extended to 'Barney' to thoroughly confuse everyone.
Barnaby Rudge Judge I'm up in front of the Barnaby tomorrow morning.
Barnacle Bills Testicles
Barnet Fair Hair She must be going out - she's got her Barnet done.
Barney Marlin M'Darlin
Barney Rubble Trouble Stay away from him. He's really Barney.
Barry Crocker Shocker
Barry Mcguigan
Biggun (big one)
Barry White Shite (shit) I need a Barry White.
Basil Fawlty Balti
Basil Fawlty 40
Basin of Gravy Baby
Bat and Wicket Ticket I've got a bat for tonight's train.
Battle Cruiser Boozer (liquor store)
I've got to get to the battle before I go to the party.
Battle of Waterloo
Stew
Bazaar Bar
Beans on Toast Evening Post Go and buy the beans on toast will you son.
bear's paw Saw
Bed and Breakfast
26
Beecham's Pill Bill (statement)
I got my Beecham's from the tax people.
Beecham's Pill Still
Bees and Honey
Money Can't go in there without any bees.
Bee's Knees Business
beggar my neighbour
Labour
Ben Cartwright Shite
Bended Knees Cheese
Bengal Lancer Chancer (someone not qualified)
News paper adds would state no bengal lancers when advertising for tradesmen.
Benny Hills Pills
Berlin Walls Balls Me pants are too tight and making me berlins wobbly.
Bernard Matthew
Queue
Bernie Flint Skint
Bernie Winter Printer
Betty Grable Table
Bexley Heath Teeth
Biffo the Bear Hair Me biffo's not looking the best today. Biffo the Bear was on the cover of Beano from 1948 to 1974.
Big Ben Ten
Big Dippers Slippers
Bill Murray Curry
Billie Jean Clean
Billie Piper Windshield Wiper
Billies Bunter Punters
Billy Goat Throat I've got a sore billy goat.
Bin Lid Quid
Bird Lime Time What's the bird?
Bird's Nest Chest I had to punch him in the bird's nest.
Biscuit and Cookie
Rookie
Biscuit Tin Chin He's got a big biscuit.
Biscuits and Cheese
Knees I've been on my biscuits all day.
bladder of lard Card
Blood Red Head She likes to give blood.
Blushing Bride Girl Guide
Bo Diddley Kidney Me bo's are giving me gyp.
Boat Race Face Nice legs, shame about the boat. Also a good song by The Monks.
Bob 1 Shilling (5 pence)
Bob Cryer Liar Shut up you Bob - yer talking out yer aris. Sergeant Bob Cryer is a character in "The Bill".
Bob Hope Dope (marijuana)
I think he's been smoking a bit of Bob Hope.
Bob Hope Soap
Bob McNab Cab
Bob Squash Wash
Bobble Hat Laugh
Bobby & Dick Sick
Bobby Moore Sure
Bobby Moore Score You know the Bobby. Bobby Moore was a great footballer who died in 1993.
Boiler House Spouse Me boiler's always yammerin' on.
Bonney Fair Hair She's got beautiful shiny bonney.
Boom and Mizzen
Prison e's off to the boom for a bit.
Bo-Peep Sleep What I need is a good bo-peep.
Borassic Lint Skint (broke) He's right boric.
Boris Karloff Cough That's a nasty old boris you've got there son.
Boris the Bold Cold
Born and Bred Bed
Bottle and Glass
Arse I gave him a good kick up the bottle.
Bottle and Glass
Class
Bottle and Stopper
Copper (Police Officer)
Bottle of bass Gas
Bottle of Glue 2
Bottle of porter Daughter
Bottle of Sauce Horse
Bottles and Stoppers
Coppers (police)
Blimey - I think the bottles are on to me!
Boutrous Gali Charlie (cocaine)
Bow and Arrow
Sparrow Little bow and arrow fell out of the nest. Usually the full slang expression is used.
Bow and Arrow
Barrow
Bow and Arrows
Farrahs (trousers)
Nice pair of bow and arrows. Use your best Cockney accent here.
Bowl of Fruit Suit Are you wearing your bowl of fruit tonight?
Bowler Hat Chat Let's get together for a bowler.
Box of Toys Noise Hold your box - they can hear you miles away!
Brace and Bits Tits (breasts) Blimey - what a brace!
Brad Pitt Shit I right need a Brad Pitt.
Brad Pitt Tit (breast) Nice pair of brads.
Brahms and Liszt
Pissed (drunk) He's well Brahms and Liszt , don't give him any more to drink.
Brass Tacks Facts Ere, you've got your brass wrong!
Bread & Jam Van
Bread and Butter
Gutter Found him laying in the bread and butter. Usually full slang expression is used.
Bread and Cheese
Sneeze I hate allergies - one good bread after another.
Bread and Honey
Money Let's drink with him - he's got bread. This one has enjoyed very common usage.
Bread knife Wife
Brenda Lee Key Where's me brenda's?
Brian Clough Rough
Bricks and Mortar
Daughter
Brigham Young
Tongue
Bright and Breezy
Easy
Brighton Pier Queer (homosexual)
That blokes a bit of a Brighton.
Briney Marlin Darlin' You look lovely tonight, me old briney.
Bristol Cities Titties (breasts)
She's got a lovely pair of Bristols.
Bristol Pistol Brassiere
British Rail Mail
Brittney Spears Beers ow about a Brittney?
Brixton Riot Diet
Bromley by bow's
Toes
Brown Bread Dead I'm telling you, mate. He's brown bread
Bruce Lee's Keys Have you seen me brucies?
Brussel Sprout Shout
Brussel Sprouts
Scouts He's always been a brussel.
Bubble and Squeak
Greek E's not a bad bloke for a bubble. Bubble and squeak is a uniquely British dish of fried mashed potatoes and something green (usually cabbage, but left over brussel sprouts work well)
Bubble and Week
Squeak
Bubble Bath Laugh You're 'avin a bubble aren't ya?
Bucket and Pail
Jail One drink too many and I get seven days in the bucket.
Bugle Nose
Bugs Bunny Money I've got some Bugs bunny in me sky rocket and I'm off down the rub-a-dub-dub.
Bull and Cow Row (argument)
Had a right bull with my misses last night.
Bullock's Horn Pawn (as in-pawn)
Bungle & Zippy
Nippy
Bunny Talk
Burnt Cinder Window Close the bloody burnt. This works if you mispronounce window... winda - and cinder... cinda as any good Englishman would.
Burton on Trent
Rent They've raised my burton again.
Bushel and Peck
Neck He's got a bushel like tree trunk.
Bushey Park Joke
Bushey Park Lark
Buster Keaton Meetin' (meeting)
We'll see you at the Buster.
Butcher's Hook Look Here - take a butcher's at this.
C
Cab Rank Bank I won't be long - just going to the cab rank.
Cadbury's (snack)
Back
Cain and Abel Table Sit yourself at the cain and I'll bring you your Tommy (Tommy Tucker - supper).
Callards Trousers
Calvin Klein 9
Calvin Klein Fine I'm calvin today.
Cambridge and Oxford
Ugly Face
Camel's Hump Dump (shit) Just going for a quick camels.
Can of Oil Boil e'd be nice looking once his canov's clear up.
canal boat Tote
Canary Fairy (Gay)
Candle Wax Tax
Candlesticks Zits
Canoes Shoes
Cape of Good Hope
Soap Go wash yourself - and use the cape.
Captain Cook Look
Captain Hook Book I've read this captain.
Captain Kirk Work
Cardboard Box Pox
Carpet 3
Carpet Pile Smile
Cash and Carried
Married Poor bloke got cashed on the weekend.
Cat and Cages Wages
Cat and Dog Bog (Toilet)
Cat and Mouse House Went 'round to his cat to wake him up.
Century 100
Chalfont St Giles
Piles (hemorrhoids)
Me chalfonts are playing up.
Chalk Farm Arm He broke his chalk.
Charing Cross Horse
Charlie Brown Clown
Charlie Chan Tan
Charlie Dicken Chicken
Charlie Hunt Cunt (Fool)
Charlie Nash Slash
Charlie Pride Ride
Charlie Ronce Ponce
Chas and Dave Shave I'm off for a chas.
Cheerful Giver Liver Lovely - cheerful for dinner tonight.
Cheese & Ham Scram
Cheese & Kisses
Missus
Cheese and Rice
Jesus Christ
Cheese Gratter Raver
Cheese rind Four of a Kind
Cheesy Quaver Favour Do us a cheesy, put it on your web site.
Chelsea Pier Queer
Cheltenham Bold
Cold
Cheque Gregory Peck I never 'ad any bread on me, so I 'ad to pay by Gregory.
Cherry Hogg Dog My bloody cherry is off again.
Cherry Ripe Pipe
Chevy Chase Face She's got a lovely Chevy Chase.
Chicken & Hen 10
Chicken and Rice
Nice
Chicken Oriental
Mental (crazy) It was chicken oriental down the nuclear on Friday night.
Chicker Haircut
China Plate Mate How are you, my old china?
Chinese Blind Mind You're out of you little chinese mate.
Ching 5
Chipmunks Trunks
Chips & Peas Knees
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
Cockney Rhyming Slang
We're talking about chitty chitty on this web site.
Chocolate Fudge
Judge
chopsticks Six
Christian Slater Later See you Christian Slater.
Christmas crackered
Knackered
Church Boys Customs & Excise
Cilla Black Back
Cilla Black Late You're a bit Cilla today, mate.
Claire Rayners Trainers (running shoes)
I've got me new Claire Rayners on. Claire Rayner is an author.
Claret (red wine)
Blood
Clement Freud hemorrhoid Oooh, me clements!
clickety click Sixty-six
Clothes Peg Egg
Coals and Coke
Broke
Coat Hanger Clanger (mistake)
He dropped a coat. A clanger is when you really put your foot in it.
Cobbler's Awls Balls (testicles)
Go on! Kick him in the cobblers! Can also be used to express disbelief, such as "Cobblers! That's not the way it is."
Cock and Hen Ten I didn't get much change back from a cock
cock linnet Minute
Cock Sparrow Barrow He's wheeling his cock 'round the market.
Cockle Tenner
Cockle and Mussells
Brussells (sprouts)
Colonel Gadaffi
Cafe
Comedy Dave Rave (dance) You coming to the comedy? Comedy Dave is a Radio 1 DJ
Comic Cuts Guts
Conan Doyle Boil This one was sent to me - I'm not familiar with it. Don't know if it means boil as in hot water or boil as in 'better see a doctor'
Constantino Rocca
Shocker Played a round of golf yesterday - had a complete Constantino .Constantino Rocca is an Italian golfer
Corn on the Cob
Job e can't afford it - 'e ain't got a corn
Cough and Drag
Fag (cigarette) I'm going out for a quick cough and drag
Council Gritter Shitter When I sat down there was a pin on my chair!
(rectum) Right up the council gritter! He reports that a council gritter is the machine that comes around and puts grit on icy roads
country cousin Dozen
Cow and Calf Half (a pint) I could use a cow and calf. He reports that there's a pub in Grenoside (near Sheffield) called the Cow and Calf
Cows Calf Laugh Your having a cows calf, ain't you
Cozzer's Cops
Cream cookies Bookies
Cream Crackered
Knackered (tired)
I'm cream crackered, mate.
Crosby, Stills, Nash
Cash That blokes not short of Crosby
Crown Jewels Tools
Crust of Bread Head Use your crust, mate.
Cucumbers Numbers
Cuddle and Kiss
Miss She's a cute little cuddle.
Currant Bun Son He's awfully proud of his currant.
Current Bun Nun My meanest teachers were currents
Current Bun Sun Old current bun's out today
Custard and Jelly
Telly (TV) As usual, nothing on the custard tonight.
Cuts and Scratches
Matches Do you have any cuts?
D
Daffy Down Dilly
Silly e's a bit daffy. Daffy Down Dilly is a line of dolls from Madam Alexander.
Daft and Barmy
Army He was promoted in the daft.
Daily Mail Tale
Daisy Dancers Stairs Get yerself up the daisy dancers. This one's a bit convoluted: Daisy Dancer => Dancing Bears => Stairs. The daisy dancer reference is a twist on the Dancing Bears=>Stairs slang.
Daisy Roots Boots You can't go out in the rain without your daisies.
Dame Judy Stench A right Dame Judy in here
Dench
Dancing Bears Stairs Get yerself up the dancing bears
Dancing Fleas Keys
Daniel Boone Spoon Pass me a daniel
Danny La Rue Clue He ain't got a danny.
Danny Marr Car (flash one)
Darby and Joan Moan
Darling Daughter
Water
Darren Gough Cough This Darren is killing me pants and vest Darren Gough is one heck of a cricketer.
David Boon Spoon Pass me that David Boon. David Boon is an Australian cricketer
David Bowie Blowy (Windy)
David Gower Shower I'd just got out of the David Gower. David Gower is an English cricketer
David Gowers Towers
David Mellors Stellas (beers)
Day's Work 100
Dead Horse Sauce Pass the dead horse
Dead Loss Boss
Dead Ross Tomato Sauce
Deaf and Dumb
Bum
Deep Sea Diver
Fiver
Deep sea glider Cider
Dental Flosser Tosser
Derby Kelly Belly That's the stuff for you Derby Kell; makes you fit and it makes you well .From old cockney song Boiled Beef and Carrots - pronounced Darby.
Desmond Hackett
Jacket
Desmond Tutu 2:2 (lower second class degree)
He's got his Desmond
Desperate Dan Suntan
Desperate Dans
Cans (headphones)
ere - put your desperates on
Dick Van Dyke Bike
Dickory Dock Clock What's the time on the dickory?
Dicky Bird Word He left without so much as a dicky.
Dicky Dirt Shirt Put your dicky dirt on before the company gets here.
Dig in the Grave
Shave A quick shower and dig and I'll be ready to go.
Ding Dong Song Everyone gather round the piano for a ding dong. Usually the full slang expression is used
Ding Dong Bell
Hell
Dinky Do Twenty-two
Dinky Doos Shoes
Dirty Den 10
Dixie Deans Jeans
Do me Good Wood
Doctor Crippen Dripping
Doctor Dre Gay (homosexual)
E's a bit of a doctor. Dr. Dre is a rap artist
Dog and Bone Phone She's always on the dog.
Dog's Eye Meat Pie
Dog's Knob Job Me new motor is just the dog's knob
Dolly Dimple Simple She's a bit Dolly Dimple
Dolly Mixtures Pictures
Donald Duck Luck How's your Donald?
Donald Duck F**k
Donald Peers Ears
Donald Trump Dump (shit) I've got to go for a donald
Donkey Rides Strides (trousers)
He's wearing black donkeys
Donkey's Ears Years Ain't seen you in donkeys mate.
Dorothy Dicks 6
Dorothy Tyres
Squires
Dot and Dash Cash
Dot Cotton Rotten
Doug McClure Whore
Douglas Hurd Turd (shit) I need to dump a Douglas . Douglas Hurd is a politician.
Dover Harbour Barber I'm off to Dover to get me barnet sorted
Down the Drains
Brains
D'Oyly Carte Fart Have you done a d'oyly? D'Oyly Carte is a light opera company
Drip Dry Cry
Drum and Bass Face
Drum and Fife Knife
Drum Roll Hole Let's pop 'round to my drum (referring to someone's house).
Drummond and Roce
Knife and Fork
Duane Eddies Readies (cash)
Duchess of Fife
Wife Now my old dutch, where are we off to tonight?
Duchess of Teck
Cheque
Duck and Dive Skive
Duck's Arse Grass (Informant)
Dudley Moore's
Sores
Duke of Argyles
Piles
Duke of Kent Rent I can't afford to pay the Duke of Kent this week
Duke of York Chalk
Duke of York Fork Keep your fingers out of your grub, man. Use a duke
Duke Of York Cork
Dunkirk Work
Dunlop Tyre Liar 'e's a bit of a dunlop
Dustbin Lids Kids A nice girl but too many dustbin's.
Dustins Hoffman
Rothmans
E
Ear'ole (Ear Hole)
Dole (welfare) If I get the tin tack I'm going on the ear'ole
Early Hour Flower
Eartha Kitt Shit I'm going for an Eartha
Eartha Kitts Tits (breasts) Nice Eartha's
Earwig Twig
East and West Vest
East Ham Mad
East West Breast 'ave a look at her easts
Easy Rider Cider Pint of Easy Rider please
Eau de cologne Phone
Eddie Grundies Undies
Edgar Alan Poe
Tow
Edinburgh Fringe
Minge
Edna Everage Beverage Would you like an Edna? Edna Everage (aka Dame Edna) is a star, darling!
Edward Heath Teeth He got smacked in the Edwards. Edward Heath was PM in the early 1970's
Egg Yolk Joke
Eiffel Tower Shower
Eighteen Pence Sense
Elephant and Castle
Arsehole
Elephant's Trunk
Drunk He shouldn't be driving! He's bloody elephant's.
Elliot Ness Mess My drum's a right Elliot
Elsie Tanner Spanner (wrench)
Can I borrow your elsie
Elsie Tanner Planner
Emma Freuds Hemorrhoids Me Emma's are playing me up. Emma is a BBC DJ on Radio 1
Ernie Marsh Grass
Errol Flynn Chin
Euan Blair Leicester Square
We're getting off the train at Euan Blair station
Evening Breeze
Cheese
Everton Toffee Coffee I'll have an everton
Eyes of Blue True
F
Fainting Fits Tits (breasts) Wouldn't mind getting me germans on her faintings
Faith and Hope Soap Where's the faith and hope, I wanna wash me 'ands
Falun Gong Wrong It seems to have all gone a bit falun gong. From semi-obscure evil Chinese cult with tendency to inaccuracy, therefore appropriate.
Family Tree Lavatory
Fanny Blair Hair
Fanny Craddock
Haddock
Fanny Hill Pill (Contraceptive)
Far East Priest
Farmer Giles Piles (hemorrhoids)
Blimey, I ain't 'alf suffering from me farmers
Farmer's Daughter
Quarter
Fat and Skinny Mini
Fat and Wide Bride
Fatboy Slim Gym I'm going down to the fatboy .Fatboy Slim is a recording artist
Father Ted Dead
Feathers 33
Fibre of your fabric
Loot (money) C'mon, let me feel the fibre of your fabric. fabric=>suit=>loot]
Fiddle De Dee Pee / Wee
Field of Wheat Street He out standing in the field, waiting for a bus.
Fine and Dandy
Brandy A small drop of fine would suit me.
Finger and Thumb
Rum
Finlay Quaye Gay (homosexual)
That boozer is Finlay ub .Finlay Quaye is a musician
Finsbury Park Mark
Fireman's Hose Nose Look at the size of his fireman's
First Aid Kits Tits
Fish and Chips Tips (Gratuities)
Fish Hook Book I've read the new fish by Deighton.
Fisherman's Daughter
Water
Five to Two Jew If you're a fiver then today's your Sabbath.
Flight Lieutenant Biggles
Giggles
Flowers and Frolics
Bollocks
Flowery Dell Cell I've got three more years in this flower.
Fly-by-Nights Tights
Foot pump Dump
Fore and Aft Daft
Fork and Knife Wife
Forrest Gump Dump (shit) "Off out in 10 minutes?" "Yeah, just got to have a Forrest first".
Forsythe Saga Lager Mines a forsythe
Four by Two Jew He's not from around here - he's a four.
Four Seasons Reasons
Four Wheeler Sheila
Francis Drakes Brakes
Frank Bough Off
Frankie Howard
Coward
Frankie Vaughan
Porn Is there any Frankie on the telly tonight?
Frankie Vaughan
Prawn
Fred Astaire Hair
Fred McMurrays
Worries
French Kiss Piss (Urinate)
Friar Tuck Luck E always had a bit of friar tuck.
Fridge Freezer Geezer
Frog and Toad Road Don't ride your bike on the frog. See Road => Kermit
Front Door Bore
Front Wheel Skid
Yid (Jew) He's a front wheel.
Fruit Gum Chum How yer doing, my old fruit
Frying Pan Fan
Fugly Ugly
G
Gamma Ray Stray That Mary's a bit of a gamma
Gang and Mob Gob (mouth) He's got a big gang
Garden Gate 8
Garden Gate Magistrate
Garden Gate Late
Garden Gate Mate
Gary Abblets Tablets (Ecstasy)
Gary Glitter Bitter (beer) Give us a pint of gary
Gary Glitter Shitter (rectum)
He kicked him right up the Gary
Gary Player All Dayer (all day drinking)
Let's make it a Gary Player
Gates of Rome Home
Gathers Cops
Gavvers Police
Gay & Hearty Party
Gay and Frisky Whisky I'll have a gay and I'm off. Be careful where you use this
Gay Gordon Parking Warden
General Election
Erection
Geoff Hurst Burst (urinate) I'm dying for a Geoff. Geoff Hurst's World Cup Final hat-trick v West Germany at Wembley in 1966 and six goals v Sunderland (19.10.68) two years later, have been woven into the fabric of football folklore.
Geoff Hurst Thirst I've got a Geoff on tonight Sir Geoff Hurst was the only footballer to score three goals in a World Cup final.
Geoffrey Chaucer
Saucer
George and Zippy
Nippy (cold) It's a bit George. Eli Davenport reports that George & Zippy are from an old BBC kids show called Rainbow
George Bernard Shaw
Door
George Best Chest (In football) Over 'ere son, on me Georgie . George Best is a famous footballer
George Martin Farting
George Raft Draft There's a bit of a george in here.
Georgie Bests Breasts
Georgio Armani
Sarnie (Sandwich)
German Bands Hands Get your germans off my missus.
Gertie Gitana Banana I like a gertie on my cereal .Possibly an old music hall star
Giggle and Titter
Bitter (beer) ere. I could use a giggle.
Gin and Tonic Supersonic
Ginger Ale Jail e's doing time in the ginger.
Ginger Beer Engineer He knows his stuff. He is a ginger, after all.
Ginger Beer Queer (odd) I don't know about that - sounds a bit ginger.
Gipsy's Warning
Morning
Giraffe Laugh You're havin' a giraffe, mate.
Girls and Boys Noise
Glasgow Ranger
Stranger
Glass of Plonk Conk (Nose)
Glass of Water Quarter
Glenn Hoddle Doddle (easy or straight forward)
That jobs a Glen Hoddle. Glenn Hoddle is the coach of the English football team replacing Terry Venables.
Gloria Gaynors Trainers (running shoes)
That's a nice pair of Gloria's
Gobstopper Chopper (Penis)
God Forbids Kids Couldn't hear a thing 'cause of all the Godfor's.
Gold Watch Scotch (Whisky)
E enjoys his gold watch
Goldie Locks (Goldies)
Socks
Goose's Neck Cheque He stuck me with a bouncing goose.
Gordon & Gotch
Watch
Grand 1000
Grass in the Park
Nark
Grasshopper Copper (police)
He got nabbed by the grasshoppers.
Gravel and grit Shit
Gravy lumps Dumps
Grease and Grime
Time
Green eggs and ham
Exam
Greengages Wages I've blown the greengages down at the dogs
Gregory Peck Cheque I never 'ad any bread on me, so I 'ad to pay by Gregory. I'm going down to the iron to sausage a gregory.
Gregory Peck Specs (spectacles)
Where's me gregs
Gregory Peck Neck Wind you Gregory in
Gypsy Nell Hell My knee is giving me gyp today.
Gypsy's Kiss Piss Blimey - no more beer till I've 'ad a gypsy's.
H
Habitual Knitter
Bitter
Haddock and Bloater
Motor (car) I've gone and locked me keys in the haddock
Hair Gel Bell
Hairy knees Please
Hairy Nips Chips
Half a Gross Dose
Half Inch Pinch (steal) Someone's half-inched me pint!
Half inched Pinched
Half Past Three Tea Where's me bleeding cuppa arf past?
Ham and Cheesy
Easy
Ham and Eggs Legs
Ham Shank Bank
Ham Shanks Yanks
Hammer and Tack
Back Ooh! Me 'ammer and tack's playing me up again.
Hampden Roar Score You know the hampden. The Hampden Roar is is a commonly used term that refers to the noise made when fans cheer on Scotland at Hampden Park
Hampstead Heath
Teeth His hampsteads (hamps) are a crime.
Hampton Wick Prick He gets on my wick. Don't even try to understand this one - just accept it
Hank Marvin Starvin' I'm bloody Hank Marvin. I haven't eaten all day Hank Marvin was the guitarist for The Shadows from the 1960's to the 1990's.
Hansel and Gretel
Kettle
Harold Wilson's
Stilsons (Pipe Wrenches)
Harris Tweed Weed
Harry Bash Cash
Harry Dash Flash (natty) e was alway a bit of an 'arry
Harry Kewell Cool
Harry Lime Time What's the Harry Lime? Harry Lime is a character in 'The Third Man'
Harry Lin Chin
Harry Monk Spunk (semen) This glue's as sticky as a load of Harry. Harry Monk was an old music hall entertainer.
Harry Nash Cash There's a discount if you're paying Harry Nash - if anyone knows the origin of this I'd appreciate it
Harry Rag Fag (cigarette) Have you got a harry? I don't know who or what a "Harry Rag is. If you know please tell me.
Harry Randall Candle Look at all the Harry's on his cake.
Harry Wragg Fag (cigarette) Have you got a harry? Frank Baynham reports that Harry Wragg was a famous jockey
Harvey Nichol Pickle
Hat Rack Back
Hay Stack Back
Heap of Coke Bloke
Hearts of Oak Broke (financial)
I'm skint mate. Bleedin' hearts.
Hedge and Ditch
Pitch (Stall or Stand)
Henry Eighth
Henry Moore Door They broke the 'enry down at number thirty two
Here and there Chair
Herring bone Phone
Hey Diddle Diddle
Middle
Hide and Seek Cheek He kissed me on my hide and seek
Highland Fling Ring
Hillman Hunters
Punters
Hit and Miss Piss I've got to have a hit before we go out.
hit and miss Kiss
Hobsons Choice
Voice
Holly Hox Pox
Holy Friar Liar 'e's a bit of a holy friar
Holy Ghost Toast How about another round of 'oly.
Holy Ghost Racing Post
Hopping Pot Lot (Serving or share)
That's your hopping mate. Meaning, that's all you get. this may have originated with Londoners who traveled to Kent and other districts to gather hops for beer
Horace Batchelor
Spatula
Horse and Cart Fart Have you just horse & carted?
Horse and Cart Heart
Hot Cross Bun Nun
Hot Cross Bun Son
Hotpoint Fridge
Severn Bridge
House to Let Bet
Housemaid's Knee
Sea
How d'you Do Shoe
How's your father?
Lather
Hum & Song Pong (smell)
I
I Suppose Nose That rotten drunk gave me a clip on me I suppose.
Ian Beale Deal
Ian Wrights Lights
Ice cream freezer
Ice Cream Freezer
Geezer e's not a bad old ice cream
I'm Afloat Overcoat
Inky Smudge Judge
Ins and Outs Snouts (Cigarettes)
ere mate, got any ins and outs? (See Salmon and Trout)
Irish Jig Wig I think that blokes wearing an Irish
Irish Rose Nose She gave me a kiss on my Irish.
Iron Hoof Poof He's a bit of an iron.
(homosexual)
Iron Tank Bank He lost his house to the iron.
Isle of Wight Right
Isle of Wight Light
Itch and Scratch
Match
Itchy Teeth Beef
Ivory Band Hand
J
J. Arthur Rank Wank (masturbate)
e's off having a J. Arthur
Jack & Jill Till (Cash register)
E got nicked with 'is 'ands in the old jack and jill
Jack an' Dandy Handy
Jack and Danny
Fanny She's just sitting at home on her Jack and Danny
Jack and Jill Bill (statement)
I'm going home - can I have my Jack?
Jack and Jill Pill (birth control)
She's on the Jack
Jack and Jill Hill The store is up the jack. [See also Bill]
Jack and Jill Till
Jack Jones Alone
Jack Jones Alone He went to the pub all Jack.
Jack Jones Own
Jack 'n' Danny Fanny
Jack Palance Dance
Jack Tar Bar (pub) I'm off to the Jack. See also 'Alone' and Bar (pub). Could be very confusing if you're going alone - "I'm off to the jack jack". Or, if you were telling your brother Jack, "I'm off to the jack jack, Jack"
Jack the Dandy Brandy
Jack the Ripper Stripper I love me jack the rippers
Jack the Ripper Kipper
Jackanory Story
jackdaw Jaw
Jackie Chan Scran (food) I'm Hank Marvin. I could use some top Jackie for me Michael Winner
Jacks alive Five
Jackson Pollock
Bollocks This modern art's a load of old Jacksons . Pollock is a "20th Century strange artist".
Jacobs Crackers
Knackers (testicles)
That toe-rag kicked me in the Jacobs
Jam Jar Car Bloody jam is down again.
Jam Roll Arsehole That geezer is a right jam roll.
Jam Tart Heart
James Dean Obscene
Jamie Redknapp
Crap
Jazz Bands Hands Get yer jazz bands off me
Jeckyll and Hyde
Snide 'e's a bit Jeckyll
Jekyll and Hyde
Pride You lost your jekyll or something?
Jekyll and Hydes
Strides [trousers)
Just bought a new pair of Jekylls
Jenny Lee Key
Jeremiah Fire
Jerry Cottle Bottle
Jerry O'Gorman
Mormon
Jim Skinner Dinner Is my Jim ready yet?
Jimmy Hill Bill (statement)
Have we paid the Jimmy Hill yet? . Jimmy Hill is a football pundit and former player
Jimmy Hill Pill
Jimmy Hill Ill
Jimmy Nail Hell
Jimmy Orner Corner
Jimmy Riddle Piddle (urinate)
I've had three pints - I could use a jimmy.
Joanna Piano He sparkles on the joanna. Just to confuse you, they mispronounce the word you're trying say, so instead of 'piano' they call it a 'piana'
Jockey Whips Chips I'll have a large plate of jockey's
Jockey's whip Kip
Jodrell Bank Wank Just off for a Jodrell .Jodrell Bank was the site of a University of Manchester botanical station, about 20 miles south of Manchester, back in the 1940's. Today, Jodrell Bank is a leading radio astronomy facility.
Joe Baxi Taxi Mind if I share your Joe Baxi? William Coward says Joe Baxi was a heavyweight boxer who knocked out British champ George Woodcock around 1950.
Joe Blake Steak
Joe Blake Snake
Joe Brown Town
Joe Goss Boss Never trust a joe .Joe Goss was a talented boxer
Joe Hook Book
Joe Rook Crook
John Cleese Keys 'ave you seen me johns
John Cleese Peas Eat yer John Cleese - they're good for you
John Cleese Cheese I'm meeting the big John Cleese today at work
John Major Pager Me John Major's just gone off
John Major Wager (bet)
John O'Groat Throat 'e cleared his groat whilst wiping his mincers with 'is germans
John Skinner Dinner
John Wayne Train
Johnnie Horner Corner I'll meet you 'round the Johnnie.
Johnny Horner Corner
Johnny Mutter Butter
Johnny Vaughn
Yawn Can't hold back a good Johnny .Johnny Vaughn was the star of The Big Breakfast
Johnny Vaughn
Porn I enjoy a bit of Johnny .Johnny Vaughn was the star of The Big Breakfast
Judge Jules Tools
Julian Clary Fairy
Julius Caesar Geezer ere, look at the 'ampsteads on that Julius
Jumping Jack Back
K
Kareem Abdul Jabbar
Car Bloody kareem is down again. Kareem Abdul Jabbar is a basketball player in the U.S. How he got into rhyming slang I'll never know!
Kate Steak
Kate and Sydney
Steak and Kidney
A lovely Kate and Sydney pie [Not really rhyming slang - more a matter of getting your mords wixed up]
Kate Karney Army He's off and joined the Kate.
Kate Moss Toss I couldn't give a Kate Moss.
Kate Mossed It Lost It
Kathy Burke Work
Keith (Chegwin)
Pregnant
Keith Deller Stella (Artois)
Ken Boon 4 Door Saloon
Ken Smee Pee
Kermit Road e took off down the kermit. From Kermit the Frog => frog and toad => road.
Kermit the Frog
Bog
Kerry Packer Knackered (tired)
I'm right Kerry'd - Kerry Packer is an Australian media magnate (and bleeding rich!)
Kettle and Hob Watch (fob watch)
That's a lovely kettle. I got the following from Dudley who wondered about the connection between a kettle and a watch - he passed on the following story:
Kevin Keegan Vegan
Khyber Pass Arse Stick it up your khyber.
Kick and Prance
Dance
Kick Start Tart Is this a lads night or are we taking the kicks
kidney punch Lunch
King Lear Queer (homosexual)
e's a bit King Lear.
King Lear Ear
King Tut Gut
Kingdom Bum He just sat on his kingdom all day
Come
King's Death Breath
Kippers Slippers
Kitchen Sink Clink (jail) After that last episode he'll be in the kitchen for a while
Kitchen Sink Drink
Kite Cheque
Knobbly Knees Keys Have you got your knobblies with you?
Knobbly Knees Peas We're havin' sexton and knobblies
Kungfu Fighter Lighter
Kuwaity Tanker
Wanker
L
Lady from Bristol
Pistol
Lady Godiva Fiver (5 pound note)
Ere, that bloke still owes me lady!
Lager and Lime
Spine
Lah-di-dah Star
Lamb & Mint Skint
Lar-dee-dar Cigar
Lards Trousers 'e was caught with 'is lards down. Lards is from Callards & Bowsers, makers of fine toffee's.
last card in the pack
Sack
Laugh and Titter
Bitter (Beer)
Lee Marvin Starvin' I'm Lee Marvin... if you're really hungry you could say, "I'm Hank, and his brother Lee". Lee Marvin was an American actor. See other entry for starvin' (Hank Marvin). And no - they're not related.
Left in the Lurch
Church
Legs 11
Lemon Curd Girlfriend
Lemon Dash Flash Don't act so lemon
Lemon Lime Crime Not one lemon reported all night
Lemon Squeesy
Easy
Lemon Squeezer
Geezer
Leo Fender Bender (homosexual)
That blokes a bit leo after all. The late Leo Fender was the inventor of the Stratocaster guitar
Leo Sayer All Dayer (all day drinking session)
Let's make it a Leo Sayer.
Lesley Crowthers
Trousers
Lester Piggot Bigot
Light and bitter Shitter
Light and Dark Park
Lilian Gish Fish Good day at the stream. Got a pair of Lilian's.
Lilley & Skinner
Beginner
Lilley and Skinner
Dinner
Lillian Gish Pish
Lilly and Skinner
Dinner What's for lilly and skinner
Linda Lusardi Cardy (cardigan)
Oh my God - look at that awful Linda he's wearing
Linen Draper Paper (newspaper)
Has the morning linen come yet?
Ling and Linger
Ring on Finger
Lionel Bart Fart
Lionel Blaire Flares (wide bottom trousers)
Got on his best lionels for the evening. Lionel Blaire is a performer.
Lionel Blaire Nightmare I'm havin' a right lionel Lionel Blaire is a performer.
Lion's Lair Chair Have a lion's while you wait.
Little and Large
Marge
Little Critter Bullshitter
Liz Hurley Early 'e's never gotten here liz
Liza Minelli Telly (TV) What's on the Liza?
Loaf of Bread Head Don't just stand there - use your loaf.
Lollipop Shop
Long Un 1000
Longers and Lingers
Fingers
Loop de Loop Soup Nothing like a good loop on a cold day.
Lord Lovel Shovel
Lord Mayor Swear
Lord of the Manor
Tanner
Lords and Peers
Ears
Louise Wener Tenner (10 pound note)
ere, lend us a louise. Louise Wener is a singer with the band Sleeper
Lousy Brown Crown
Love and Kisses
Missus (Mrs) Where did your love and kisses go?
L-Rig Girl
Lucy Locket Pocket Keep it in your Lucy.
M
Macaroni Pony (25 pound)
Macca Crap I'm off for a macca . Comes from Macaroni => pony; Pony & Trap => Crap
Mae West Best I'm Mae West at Cockney Rhyming Slang
Magnus Pike Dyke (Lesbian)
She looks like a right Magnus - Magnus Pike was an 'off the wall' TV personality who would (and could) explain complex scientific concepts to kids
Mahatma Ghandi
Randy
Major Stevens Evens (betting)
Man on the Moon
Spoon
Manchester Scally
Rally
Manhole Cover Brother My manhole cover is coming for a visit. How does manhole cover rhyme with brother you ask? Simple... if you pronounce brother as "bruvver"!
Mark Ramprakash
Slash
Mars Bar Scar I fell down the apple and pears trying to answer the dog & bone, hit my head and ended up with a mars bar
Master McGrath
Bra
Matheson Lang Slang (Cockney Rhyming)
Mavis Fritter Shitter
Melvyn Bragged
Shagged
Melvynn Bragg
Fag (cigarette) Oi, mate. Can I scrounge a melvynn of you
Merchant Banker
Wanker He's a right merchant
Merlyn Rees Peice (lunch)
Merry Old Soul
Arsehole 'e's a bit of a merry old soul
Meryl Streep Sleep
Meryl Streep Cheap
metric miles Piles
Michael Caine Train I missed me Michael
Michael Caines Stains
Michael Miles Piles
Michael Winner
Dinner I'm Hank Marvin. I could use some top Jackie for me Michael Winner.Michael Winner is the food critic for the Sunday Times
Mick Jagger Lager How about a couple of Mick Jaggers over here?
Mick Mills Pills 'e's always 'ad a weakness for the Mick Mills . Mick Mills played for Ipswich in the '70s
Mickey Bliss Piss (Make fun He's always taking the mickey out of someone
of)
Mickey Duff Puff (marijuana)
Here, mate. Got any Mickey?
Mickey Most Toast
Mickey Mouse House I'm taking my missus to the mickey tonight. Usually means a theatre rather than a residence
Mickey Mouse Scouse
Mickey Rourke Pork
Midland Bank Wank (masturbate)
I'm going for a midland
Mikkel Becks Specs [Spectacles)
Where did I put me Mikkel's? - Mikkel Beck is a footballer
Milton Keynes Jeans
Mince Pies Eyes She got beatiful minces.
Moby Dick Sick I'm feeling a bit Moby today.
Molly O'Morgan
Organ
Monkey 500
Monkey Wrench
Wench
Monkey's cousin
Dozen
monkey's tail Nail
Moriarty Party Mental morry mate
Mork and Mindy
Windy Cor, it's bloody mork today, shows you that the slang is constantly evolving
Mother Hubbard
Cupboard There's nothing in the mother.
Mother of Pearl
Girl
Mother's Ruin Gin Another mothers would sit well.
Mozambique Keek
Mrs Chant Aunt
Mrs Duckett Bucket
Mrs. Chant Aunt He didn't know what to get his Mrs. Chant for Christmas
Mum and Dad Mad He's a bit mum and dad.
Mumbley Pegs Legs Stand on your own mumbleys
Murray mint
Murray Walker Talker She's a real murray 6 just can't get her to shut up!
Murray-mint Skint
Mutt and Jeff Deaf Poor buggers mutt and jeff. Usually full slang expression is used. very often the expression is shortened to mutton as in "Poor buggers mutton".
Mutter and Stutter
Butter
Mystic Meg Leg
N
Nails and Tacks
Fax
Nanny Goat Throat Get that down your nanny
Nanny Goat Boat I took my nanny out on the river.
Nanny Goat Coat Put your nannies on - it's taters out.
Nat King Cole Dole (welfare) I've got to sign on the old Nat King
Natter Chat
Near and Far Bar (pub) I saw him at the near.
Ned Kelly Telly
Needle and Pin Gin I'll have a small needle and tonic.
Nelson Eddy's Readies (pound notes)
e's got a pile of nelsons!
Nelson Mandelas
Stella (beer) A couple of nelsons please
Nena 99
Nervo 9
nervo and Knox
Box
Nervous Wreck
Cheque
Neves 7
New Delhi Belly
Newington Butts
Guts (stomach) My newingtons are giving me some gyp today. Newington Butts is in an area of London (SE1?)
commonly known as The Elephant and Castle
Niagara Falls Balls (testicles)
I got him in his niagara's
Niffty 50
Nifty n Frifty Shifty
Nightboat to Cairo
Giro
Nix 86
Nix/Nixies Nothing
No Surrenders Suspenders
Noah's Ark Park I'm taking my misses to the Noah.
Noah's Ark Shark
Noah's Ark Lark
Nobby Stiles Piles (hemorrhoids)
Me nobbies are acting up again .Nobby Stiles was a great footballer from years gone by
Norman Watts Pots
North and South
Mouth I gave him a punch up the north.
Nose and Chin Gin I'll have a drop of nose and chin
Nuclear Sub Pub I'll meet you down the nuclear at 5 o'clock
Nuns 'n Habits Rabbits
Nuremberg Trials
Piles Me Nuremberg's are really playing me up
O
Ocean Mate
Ocean Going Squid
Quid
Ocean Pearl Girl
Oily Rag Fag (cigarette) Give us an oily.
Okey Doke Poke
Old Bill Police
Old Pot And Pan
Husband
Oliver Twist Fist Next thing I know he's got his Oliver in my face.
Oliver Twist Pissed (drunk) I 'ad one over the eight last night and got completely Olivered. See also 'Fist' and 'Brahms
& Liszt'
Omar Sharif Grief
on the floor Poor
Once a Week Cheek
One and t'other Brother ere's me one and t'other now.
One and two's Shoes Where's me one 'n two's?
One Time Looker
Hooker
Ones and Twos Shoes
Ooh Aah Stella Artois (beer)
I'll have an ooh aah
Orange Peel Feel I fancy an orange of her Bristols!
Orchestra Stalls
Balls (testicles)
He nearly got hit in the orchestra
Oxford Scholar Dollar Stupid horse cost me an Oxford. Pre-war the dollar was worth just less than 5 shillings, so an Oxford is worth 5 shillings or a crown
Oxo cube Tube (underground)
P
Pam Shriver Fiver
Pants and Vest Chest This cough is killing me pants and vest
Paper Hat Prat
Paraffin Lamp Tramp (hobo) I gave me last apple to that old paraffin
Pat and Mick Sick
Pat Cash Slash
Pat Malone Alone I'm all pat tonight.
Paul Cousins Baker's dozens
Paul McKenna Tenner (�10) I'm don to me last Paul McKenna . Paul McKenna is a famous hypnotist
Paul Weller Stella (beer) Give us a Paul Weller - Paul Weller is (or was) a musician with The Jam. Stella refers to Stella Artois
Pea shooter Hooter (nose)
Peanut Butter and Jelly
Belly
Pear Halved Starved "Lunch in a bit?" "Yeah, I'm a bit pear."
Pearly Queen Seen
Peas in a Pot Hot Don't touch that - it's bloody peasy.
Peckham Rye Tie I'm putting on me best whistle and me new peckham.
Peddle and Crank
Wank (masturbate)
I'm off for a peddle!
Pen and Ink Stink That's a bit of a pen and ink.
Perpetual Loser
Boozer
Persian Rugs Drugs 'ere mate. Got any Persians?
Pete Tong Wrong It's all gone a bit Pete .Pete Tong is an English DJ
Peter Pan Tan
Peter Powell Towel
Petrol Tanks Yanks
Philharmonic Gin and Tonic
Picadilly Chilly
Piccadilly Silly I've always said he was piccadilly
Pie and Apple Chunk
Drunk
Pie and Liquor Vicar
Pie and Mash Slash (piss) I'm poppin' out for a pie and mash
Pieces of Eight Weight She'd better watch her pieces of eight
Pig's Ear Beer Can I buy you a pig?
Pillar and Post Ghost Looks like he's seen a pillar
Pillar and Post Host Who's the pillar and post for tonight?
Pimple and Botch
Scotch He enjoys a good pimple.
Pineapple Chapel
Pineapple Chunk
Bunk (bed) I could use a couple of hours in the pineapple
Ping Pong Strong I need a ping pong drink
Pinky and Perky
Turkey
Pins & Pegs Legs
Pipe your Eye Cry
Pitch and Toss Boss My bloody pitch kept me late again.
Pittsburgh Steelers
Peelers (police)
Planet of the Apes
Grapes
Plaster Arse
Plates and Dishes
Misses
Plates of Meat Feet Get your plates of the table.
Pleasure and Pain
Rain Any more pleasure and we'll be swimming.
Plimsoll Mark Park
Plink Plonk (Wine)
Polo Mint Bint
Pony 25
Pony and Trap Crap Ang on, mate. Just gotta 'ave a pony Or, another usage if something's a bit off (i.e.. not of good quality) - That's a bit pony mate!
Pope in Rome Home Let's pop 'round his pope and fetch him.
Pope on the rope
Dope
Porcupine Wine Where's the porc waiter
Pork Chops Pigs (Police)
Pork Pies Lies Blimey - he gets two pigs (beers) in him and he starts telling porkies.
Porridge Knife Life (term) e's doing a stay in the porridge
Posh 'n Becks Sex Had a bit of posh with the missus last night Posh refers to Posh Spice (Victoria Adams) of the Spice Girls while Becks refers to David Beckham, the famous footballer she married. Another example of Rhyming Slang evolving to reflect the times. See also Decks -> Posh 'n Becks
Posh 'n Becks Decks (turntables)
Have you got yer posh 'n becks yet, see Sex -> Posh 'n Becks
Pot and Pan Old Man (Father)
I was talking to me old pot just yesterday.
Pot and Pan Old man (husband)
Pot of Glue Clue
Potatoes in the mould
Cold Cor, taters out there init?
Prairie Hat Prat
Present and Past
Last
Prison Time Bird (Lime)
Profit & Loss Boss
Q
Quaker Oat Coat
Queen mum Bum
Queen's Park Ranger
Stranger Who's that Queen's Park Ranger standing over there?
Quid Pounds (currency)
R
Rabbit and Pork
Talk He's always rabbitting on about something.
Radio Rental Mental He's a bit radio
Rainbow Trout Kraut (German)
Bloody rainbows beat us at football last night!
Randolph Scott Spot (acne) I've got a great big randolph on my chin
Raspberry Ripple
Nipple Look at the thup'neys on her, raspberries like cigar buts!
Raspberry Ripple
Cripple The old boy's a raspberry
Raspberry Tart Fart He blew a raspberry.
Rats and Mice Dice
Ravi Shankar Wanker That referee is a right Ravi
Razor Blazer
Read and Write Fight He'd rather read than walk away.
Red sock Dock
Reels of Cotton Rotten
Reg Grundies Undies
Reg Varney Pakistani Martin's new bird's a Reg .Reg played Stan Butler on 'On the Buses', one of the 1970's BritComs
Rex Mossop Gossip What's the latest Rex, love? Rex is an Aussie sports commentator
Rhythm and Blues
Shoes Get your rhythm and blues on
Richard the Third
Bird Look what that bloody Richard's done to my car!
Richard the Third
Turd (shit) He's a bit of a Richard.
Rick Whitter Shitter (toilet or rectum)
Back in a sec - I'm off to the rick. Rick Whitter is a singer in the group Shed7
Ricki Lake Fake
Riff Raff Café (pronounced caff)
I'm off to the riff raff
Rifle Range Change
Rink-a-dink Chink (Chinese)
We're going to get rinky take-away.
Rio Grande 1000
Roast Pork Fork
Roath 4
Rob Roy Boy
Robin Hood Good That sounds like it's robin
Rock and Roll Dole (welfare) e hasn't worked a day in 'is life... 'e's always been on the rock and roll.
Rockford Files Piles (hemorrhoids)
Me Jim Rockford's are giving me gip! Jim Rockford was the central character in the TV show The Rockford Files.
Rocking Horse Sauce
Rodney Marsh Harsh
Roger Moore Door
Roger Moore Whore
Roger Nellie Telly
Roland Joffe Coffee
Roller Coaster Toaster
Ronald Riches Bitches
Ronnie & Reggie (Kray)
Veggie
Ronnie Barker Marker (pen)
Roof Rack Back
Rory O'Moore Door
Rory O'Moore Floor
Rosy Lea Tea I've just put the rosy on.
Rouf Cinque 45
Round the Houses
Trousers e's got hisself a new set of round the houses
Roy Hudd's Spuds
Rub a Dub Sub (pay advance)
Guvnor Give us a rub a dub till pay day.
Rub-a-dub-dub Pub I'm off to the rub-a-dub-dub.
Rubber bands Hands
Rubber Dub Sub
Rubber Duck Cook
Rubber Glove Love
Rubric's Cube Pube (pubic hair)
When your having a shower make sure you wash your rubric's
Ruby Murray Curry I'm going for a ruby. Ruby Murray was a singer in Glasgow back in the 30's or 40's - thanks to Peter Cotterell for the Ruby Murray info. N. Matthews tells me that Ruby was an Irish singer (1935-1996) popular in the mid to late 1950's. Got a note from Sandy Everitt who knew Ruby Murray 6 Ruby was a top recording star in the 1950's who achieved the rare feat of having five songs in the top 20 at one time. Ruby died in 1996
Rum and Coke Joke
Runner Beans Jeans
Ruof 4
Russell Harty Party I've phoned for a sherbert to take us to the Russell - Russell Harty is a TV host
Rusty Nail Jail
S
Salmon and Trout
Snout (cigarette)
Ere mate, give us a salmon, I'm right out.If you know where the expression 'snout' for cigarette comes from I'd like to include it. Martin McKerrell has written that Snout comes from
snout rag meaning handkerchief (I'm thinking snot rag - JA) so Snout Rag = Fag = cigarrette. Also, Richard Beveridge has suggested that the term snout comes from prison life when the prisoners, who would take their daily exercise in silence, would signal a tobacco supplier that he needed cigarettes by touching his nose.- See "ins and outs"
Salmon and Trout
Snout (cigarette)
Ere mate, give us a salmon, I'm right out. If you know where the expression 'snout' for cigarette comes from I'd like to include it
Salvador Dali Drink
San Moritz Shit's
Sandshoe Thank-you
Sans Fairy Ann I don't mind
Santa's Grotto Blotto (drunk)
Saucepan Handle
Candle
Saucepan Lids Kids I'm forever buy clothes for the saucepan lids
Sausage and Mash
Cash I haven't got a sausage. A little bit different, but fairly common in many English speaking countries
Sausage and Mash
Crash He was in a fearsome sausage.
Sausage Roll Dole (welfare) He ain't worked in years - he's on the sausage.
Sausage Roll Goal
Scapa Flow Go Scapa off! Actually pronounce 'Scarper' - just one example of not being satisfied with the slang, they then mispronounce the word to thoroughly confuse everyone
Schindlers List Pissed (drunk) I'm a bit schindlers after a too many forsythes
Scooby-Doo Clue I haven't got a scooby
Scooby-Doo Subaru Let's have a go in ya scooby-doo
Score 20
Scotch Mist Pissed (drunk) e was completely scotch mist last night.
Scotch Pegs Legs Sit down and take a load off your pegs. For whatever reason, the common usage is the rhyming word rather than the first
Scott Gibbs Fibs (lies) He's been telling scotts again. Scott Gibbs is a rugby star
Scott Mills Pills
Scratch yer head (Scratcher)
Bed
Screaming Alice
Crystal Palace
Screw Prison Officer
Scuffers Police
Sebastion Coe Toe
Septic Tank Yank He's not very bright... septic, you know.
Sexton Blake Fake He wears a Cartier but it's a sexton See also 'Sexton Blake->cake'
Sexton Blake Cake ow about a nice slice of sexton? Possible that Sexton Blake was a detective in comic book stories (?)
Shake and Shiver
River He jumped right into the shake
Shannon Tweed
Weed
Shaun Ryder Cider
Shawshank Redemption
Pension
Sherbet Dab Cab (taxi) e's been on the sherbert for five years (driving a cab).
Sherman Tank Wank (masturbate)
e's a right sherman
Sherman Tank Yank
Shit Brace and Bit Just off or a brace
Shoe Scooby Doo Where are me Scooby's?
Shovel and Pick
Nick (prison) He's spending a bit of time in the shovel.
Sieg Heils Piles (hemorrhoids)
I'll stand if you don't mind - me sieg heils are acting up today.
Sigorney Weaver
Beaver
Simon Said Dead
Sinbad the Sailor
Tailor
Single Fish Pish
Skin and Blister
Sister She may be his blister but she's nothing like him.
Sky Diver Fiver
Sky Rocket Pocket I've got nothing in my skies.
Slay 'em in the aisles
Piles (hemorrhoids)
Me slay 'ems are playing me up.
Slits in a Dress Mess
Snake's hiss Piss
Snout Cigarette
Snout Informant
Snow and Slush
Flush
Sock and Blister
Sister
Soldiers Bold Cold
Son 'n Daughter'd
Slaughtered
Sorry and Sad Bad That dinner was a bit sorry.
Soup and Gravy
Navy
Sovs Pounds (currency)
Spanish Archer Elbow
Spark and Smoulder
Shoulder
Spotted Dick Sick We don't have a goalie 6 John's spotted .Spotted Dick is a dessert make with raisins
Sprarsy Anna Tanner (sixpence)
Lend us a sprarsy - I wanna get some toe-rags (cigarettes)
St. Martins-Le-Grand
Hand I had it in my St. Martins a minute ago
Stammer and Stutter
Butter Extra stammer for me.
Stand at Ease Cheese Wouldn't mind a bit of ease. For whatever reason this one is backwards - the only rule is that there are no rules!
Steak & kidney Sydney
Steam Tug Mug (fool)
Steffi Graf Laugh
Steffi Graf Bath I'm just going for a steffi
Steffi Graf Laugh You're having a Steffi
Stench Dame Judy (Dench)
Steve Claridge Garage I've just gotta go down the Steve for some petrol . It helps if you realize that garage, which commonly rhymes with mirage in North America, more usually rhymes with carriage in Britain. A great Tony Hancock piece has him trying to act all condescending and pronouncing it the American way, confusing the ears off a local constable. Steve Claridge is a venerable striker, late of Leicester.
Steve McGarret
50
Steve McQueens
Jean's Me new steves are a bit tight
Stevey Bould Cold
Stevie Cinema
Sticky Toffee Coffee
Stinging nettle Kettle
Stoke on Trent Bent (criminal) e's stoke he is
Stoke on Trent Bent (homosexual)
That bloke's a bit stoke See also 'Bent (criminal)'
Strange'n'Weird
Beard
Strawberry Rhone
Phone
Strawberry Split
Git (twit) That bloke's a right strawberry
Strawberry Tart
Heart
Suez Canal Flannel
Sugar Candy Handy
Supersonic Tonic How about a nice Vera and super (Gin & Tonic)
Supersonic Gin and Tonic
Swanee River Liver We're having swanee for dinner again?
Sweaty Sock Jock (Scot) There was an Englishman, an Irishman and a sweaty on a boat...
Sweaty Sock Scot
Sweeney Todd Flying Squad Here comes the Sweeney [the Flying Squad are the police]
Sydney Kidney
Syrup of Figs Wig What a syrup.
T
T and H 8
Talk and Mutter
Butter Would you like some talk on your toast
Taters in the Mould
Cold
Tea Caddy Paddy Did you know Kevin is a tea caddy?
Tea Leaf Thief He's always been a bit of a tea leaf. [Usually the fully slang expression is used]
Tea Leafing Thieving
Teapot Lid Quid I'm down a teapot already.
Teapot Lids Kids I'm taking my little teapot to country.
Ted Ray Gay (homosexual)
He's a bit Ted. Ted Ray was an actor/comedian in the sixties. This association actually comes from a particularly bad movie "My Wife's Family" where he played a character called Jack Gay.
Telecom Tower
Shower
Ten Furlongs (Mile and a quarter)
Water I'll have a gold watch and ten
Ten Speed Gears
Ears Look at the size of 'is ten speeds
Tennis Racquet Jacket I bought a new tennis racquet
Terry Waite Late You're a bit Terry Waite
Texas Ranger Stranger This pub is full of Texas Rangers these days
There you are Bar
Thirteen Amp Tramp (hobo) Look at that bunch of thirteen amps over there. thirteen amps is the standard electrical receptacle in Britain
This and That Cat
Three Card Trick
Dick (penis) She couldn't keep her jazz bands off my three card trick
Three Wheel Trike
Dyke (Lesbian)
She's a bit of a three wheeler
Thr'penny Bit Tits (breasts) Look at the Thr'penny's on her.
Thumb and Pinky
Chinky
tic tac Sack
Tick Tock
Tick-Tock Clock
Tiddley Wink Drink Just one more tiddley and I'm off; or, He's popped down to the pub for a tiddle.
Tilbury Docks Socks
Tile Hairstyle
Tin Bath Laugh
Tin Flute Suit I'll be wearing me tin flute
Tin Lids Kids I can't put me foot down without stepping on one of the tin lids.
Tin Tack Sack (fired) He got the tin tack the other day.
Tin Tank Bank
Tit for Tat Hat Lovely titfer.
Tit Willow Pillow
Toblerone On My Own He's over there on his toblerone.
Toby Ale Rail 'e's traveling by toby.
Toby Jug Mug (chump) I'm tired of people taking me for a toby
Todd Sloan Alone Looks like I'm on my Todd tonight.
Todd Sloane On your own
Toe Rag Slag (prostitute)
She's a right toe rag.
Toe-Rag Fag (cigarette) Lend us a sprarsy - I wanna get some toe-rags. Toe-rags refer to the rags people used to wrap around their feet when they didn't have shoes... we used to call our socks toe-rags which is probably the same origin. He also says his old dad used to call some people a toe-rag and suspects it might have been an insult (reference to fag = queer). Toe rag couls also refer to a
small time petty thief, in his words "the sort of dirty little toe rag who would live next door and break into your house and nick the Christmas presents", "term is commonly used, at least in Scotland, meaning just a bit stronger than "rascal" and probably spelled without the e: 'You little torag.' I always thought it did come from terms used to refer to travelling people.
Tom and Dick Sick He's feeling a bit Tom.
Tom and Jerry Merry E's a tommy bloke.
Tom Foolery Jewellery That bloke looks a flash, look at all his tom.
Tom Jones Bones Ooh, me toms are clicking.
Tom Mix 6
Tom Tank Wank
Tom Thumb Rum A wee bit of Tom and I'm off.
Tom Tit Shit I'm going for a Tom Tit.
Tom, Dick and Harry
Dictionary I'll just check the meaning in the tom.
Tommy Tank Bank I'm going 'round the tommy to pay in a gooses.
Tommy Tank Wank (masturbate)
She's probably at home doing a tommy.
Tommy Tucker Supper You can sing for your Tommy.
Ton 100
Tonic Philharmonic I'll have a Vera and Phil (gin and tonic).
Tony Blair Hair
Tony Slattery Battery
Top Hat Chat
Town Halls Balls
Tramp on a bench
Wench
Trap One Toilet
Treacle Tart
Tree trunk Skunk
Trombone Phone
Trouble and Strife
Wife I'm taking my trouble dancing tonight.
Tufnell Park Lark (fun) Always one for a tufnell.
Tumble down the sink
Drink
Turkish Bath Laugh He's havin' a turkish.
Turkish Delight
Shite
Turtle Dove Love All right me old turtle.
Turtle Dove's Gloves Where's me turtle dove's.
Twist and Shouts
Sprouts I love bubble and squeak made with Twist and Shouts.
Twist and Twirl
Girl She looks like a nice twist.
Two and Eight State (anguish) He's in a two and eight over it.
Two Bob Bit Shit
Two Fat Ladies 88
Two Little Ducks
22
Two-Bob Bits Shits (diarrhoea)
I've got a real case of the two-bob bits.
U
Uncle Bert Shirt I've got to press my uncle.
Uncle Billy Chilly
Uncle Bob Knob 'e's a bit proud of his Uncle Bob.
Uncle Dick Sick I can't come out tonight - I'm feeling a bit Uncle Dick.
Uncle Fred Bread Hey, mum. Can I have some Uncle Fred with this?
Uncle Fred Dead
Uncle Ned Head
Uncle Reg Veg
Uncle Sam Ham
Uncle Ted Bed I'm off to Uncle Ted.
Uncle Toms Bombs
Uncle Willy Silly
V
Valerie Singleton
1
Van Gogh Ear Left Here
Vera Lynn Skin (cigarette paper)
Got any vera's?
Vera Lynn Gin I'll have one more Vera before I hit the frog and toad.
Vincent Price Ice
Vindaloo Clue He hasn't got a bloody vinda.
Vodka and Tonic
VAT (value added tax)
Von Trappe Crap
W
Wallace and Gromit
Vomit One more pint and I'll Wallace, mate.
Wally Grout Shout (round) It's your wally, mate (ie. It's your turn to buy a round of drinks). Wally Grout was an Australian cricketer who died in 1968.
Wally's Scarf Laugh He's having a wally.
Walter Mitty Titty (breast) She's got a lovely set of walters.
Watford Gap Slap I'm gonna give you a Watford 'round yer chevy.
Weakest Link Drink
Weasel and Stoat
Coat I left my weasel in the pub.
Weavers' Chair Prayer Haven't got a weaver's of getting into her alans. A weaver's chair has a low profile back allowing free movement of the arms.
Website Sight Get out of me website.
Weeping Willow
Pillow ere. Get yer head off my weeping willow.
West End Thespian
Lesbian She's a lovely girl but she is west end, you know.
West Ham Reserves
Nerves e's got a bad case of the West Ham's.
Westminster Abbey
Shabby He's turned out a bit westminster today.
Weston-Super-Mare
Nightmare Went for an interview yesterday - it was a total Weston-Super. Weston Super Mare is the main coastal resort of North Somerset.
Wheeltappers and Shunters
Punters
Whiskey and Soda
Voda (mobile phone)
Whiskey Malt Fault
Whistle and Flute
Suit He bought himself a new whistle for the wedding.
White Mice Ice
Widow Twanky
Hanky
Wilson Picket Ticket I want to go to New York, but I can't afford the wilsons.
Wind and Kite Web Site Check out me wind and kite.
Windjammer Hammer
Winona Ryder Cider Can I get two pints of winona please.
Wobbly Jelly Telly
Wooden Plank Yank Then this wooden bloke walked in.
Wooly Hat and Scarf
Laugh
Wyatt Earp Burp
Y
Yabba-Dabba-Doo
Shoes Nice pair of yabba's mate. For them what don't have a classical education, "Yabba-Dabba-Doo" was the catch phrase of Fred Flintstone.
You and Me Tea Fancy a cup of you and me?
You Must Crust
You're having a Giraffe
Laugh
Yuri Geller Stella
Z
Zig and Zag Shag
FREELANG: English-Cockney
This dictionary was made by Bertrand Girardi.
Cockney-English (click)
English-Cockney (below)
ENGLISH COCKNEY
1 Valerie Singleton
2 Bottle of Glue
3 Carpet
4 Roath
4 Ruof
5 Ching
6 Dorothy Dicks
6 Tom Mix
7 Neves
8 Garden Gate
8 T and H
9 Calvin Klein
9 Nervo
10 Chicken & Hen
10 Dirty Den
11 Legs
20 Score
22 Two Little Ducks
25 Pony
26 Bed and Breakfast
33 Feathers
40 Basil Fawlty
45 Rouf Cinque
50 Niffty
50 Steve McGarret
86 Nix
88 Two Fat Ladies
99 Nena
100 Century
100 Day's Work
100 Ton
500 Monkey
1000 Grand
1000 Long Un
1000 Rio Grande
2000 Archer
1000000 Bar
1 Shilling (5 pence) Bob
2:2 (lower second class degree) Desmond Tutu
4 Door Saloon Ken Boon
All Dayer (all day drinking session) Leo Sayer
All Dayer (all day drinking) Gary Player
Alone Jack Jones
Alone Jack Jones
Alone Pat Malone
Alone Todd Sloan
Are you sure? Are you George?
Arm Chalk Farm
Army Daft and Barmy
Army Kate Karney
Arse April in Paris
Arse Aris
Arse Bottle and Glass
Arse Khyber Pass
Arse Plaster
Arsehole Elephant and Castle
Arsehole Jam Roll
Arsehole Merry Old Soul
Aunt Mrs Chant
Aunt Mrs. Chant
Baby Basin of Gravy
Back Cadbury's (snack)
Back Cilla Black
Back Hammer and Tack
Back Hat Rack
Back Hay Stack
Back Jumping Jack
Back Roof Rack
Bad Sorry and Sad
Baker's dozens Paul Cousins
Balls Berlin Walls
Balls Town Halls
Balls (testicles) Cobbler's Awls
Balls (testicles) Niagara Falls
Balls (testicles) Orchestra Stalls
Balti Basil Fawlty
Banana Gertie Gitana
Bank Cab Rank
Bank Ham Shank
Bank Iron Tank
Bank Tin Tank
Bank Tommy Tank
Bar Bazaar
Bar There you are
Bar (pub) Jack Tar
Bar (pub) Near and Far
Barber Dover Harbour
Barrow Bow and Arrow
Barrow Cock Sparrow
Bath Steffi Graf
Battery Tony Slattery
Beard Strange'n'Weird
Beaver Sigorney Weaver
Bed Born and Bred
Bed Scratch yer head (Scratcher)
Bed Uncle Ted
Beef Itchy Teeth
Beer Pig's Ear
Beers Brittney Spears
Beginner Lilley & Skinner
Believe Adam and Eve
Bell Hair Gel
Belly Auntie Nellie
Belly Derby Kelly
Belly New Delhi
Belly Peanut Butter and Jelly
Bender (homosexual) Leo Fender
Bent (criminal) Stoke on Trent
Bent (homosexual) Stoke on Trent
Best Mae West
Bet House to Let
Beverage Edna Everage
Biggun (big one) Barry Mcguigan
Bigot Lester Piggot
Bike Dick Van Dyke
Bill (statement) Beecham's Pill
Bill (statement) Jack and Jill
Bill (statement) Jimmy Hill
Bint Polo Mint
Bird Richard the Third
Bird (Lime) Prison Time
Bitches Ronald Riches
Bitter Habitual Knitter
Bitter (beer) Apple Fritter
Bitter (beer) Gary Glitter
Bitter (beer) Giggle and Titter
Bitter (Beer) Laugh and Titter
Blazer Razor
Blind Bacon Rind
Bloke Heap of Coke
Blood Claret (red wine)
Blotto (drunk) Santa's Grotto
Blowy (Windy) David Bowie
Boat Nanny Goat
Bog Kermit the Frog
Bog (Toilet) Cat and Dog
Boil Can of Oil
Boil Conan Doyle
Bollocks Flowers and Frolics
Bollocks Jackson Pollock
Bombs Uncle Toms
Bones Tom Jones
Book Captain Hook
Book Fish Hook
Book Joe Hook
Bookies Cream cookies
Boots Daisy Roots
Boozer All Time Loser
Boozer Perpetual Loser
Boozer (liquor store) Battle Cruiser
Bore Front Door
Boss Dead Loss
Boss Joe Goss
Boss Pitch and Toss
Boss Profit & Loss
Bottle Aristotle
Bottle Jerry Cottle
Box nervo and Knox
Boy Rob Roy
Bra Master McGrath
Brace and Bit Shit
Braces Airs and Graces
Braces Ascot Races
Brains Down the Drains
Brakes Francis Drakes
Brandy Fine and Dandy
Brandy Jack the Dandy
Brassiere Bristol Pistol
Bread Uncle Fred
Breast East West
Breasts Georgie Bests
Breath King's Death
Bride Fat and Wide
Broke Coals and Coke
Broke (financial) Hearts of Oak
Brother Manhole Cover
Brother One and t'other
Brussells (sprouts) Cockle and Mussells
Bucket Mrs Duckett
Bullshitter Little Critter
Bum Deaf and Dumb
Bum Kingdom Come
Bum Queen mum
Bunk (bed) Pineapple Chunk
Burp Wyatt Earp
Burst (urinate) Geoff Hurst
Business Bee's Knees
Butter Johnny Mutter
Butter Mutter and Stutter
Butter Stammer and Stutter
Butter Talk and Mutter
Cab Bob McNab
Cab (taxi) Sherbet Dab
Cafe Colonel Gadaffi
Café (pronounced caff) Riff Raff
Cake Sexton Blake
Candle Harry Randall
Candle Saucepan Handle
Cans (headphones) Desperate Dans
Car Jam Jar
Car Kareem Abdul Jabbar
Car (flash one) Danny Marr
Card bladder of lard
Cardy (cardigan) Linda Lusardi
Cash Arthur Ashe
Cash Bangers and Mash
Cash Crosby, Stills, Nash
Cash Dot and Dash
Cash Harry Bash
Cash Harry Nash
Cash Sausage and Mash
Cat This and That
Cell Flowery Dell
Chair Here and there
Chair Lion's Lair
Chalk Duke of York
Chancer (someone not qualified) Bengal Lancer
Change Rifle Range
Chapel Pineapple
Charlie (cocaine) Boutrous Gali
Chat Bowler Hat
Chat Natter
Chat Top Hat
Cheap Meryl Streep
Cheek Hide and Seek
Cheek Once a Week
Cheese Bended Knees
Cheese Evening Breeze
Cheese John Cleese
Cheese Stand at Ease
Cheque Duchess of Teck
Cheque Goose's Neck
Cheque Gregory Peck
Cheque Kite
Cheque Nervous Wreck
Chest Bird's Nest
Chest George Best
Chest Pants and Vest
Chicken Charlie Dicken
Chilly Picadilly
Chilly Uncle Billy
Chin Biscuit Tin
Chin Errol Flynn
Chin Harry Lin
Chink (Chinese) Rink-a-dink
Chinky Thumb and Pinky
Chips Hairy Nips
Chips Jockey Whips
Chopper (Penis) Gobstopper
Chum Fruit Gum
Church Left in the Lurch
Cider Deep sea glider
Cider Easy Rider
Cider Shaun Ryder
Cider Winona Ryder
Cigar Lar-dee-dar
Cigarette Snout
Cinema Stevie
Clanger (mistake) Coat Hanger
Class Bottle and Glass
Clean Billie Jean
Clink (jail) Kitchen Sink
Clock Dickory Dock
Clock Tick-Tock
Clown Charlie Brown
Clue Danny La Rue
Clue Danny LaRue
Clue Pot of Glue
Clue Scooby-Doo
Clue Vindaloo
Coat Nanny Goat
Coat Quaker Oat
Coat Weasel and Stoat
Cockney Rhyming Slang Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
Coffee Everton Toffee
Coffee Roland Joffe
Coffee Sticky Toffee
Cold Boris the Bold
Cold Cheltenham Bold
Cold Potatoes in the mould
Cold Soldiers Bold
Cold Stevey Bould
Cold Taters in the Mould
Conk (Nose) Glass of Plonk
Cook Babbling Brook
Cook Rubber Duck
Cool Harry Kewell
Copper (Police Officer) Bottle and Stopper
Copper (police) Grasshopper
Coppers (police) Bottles and Stoppers
Cops Cozzer's
Cops Gathers
Cork Duke Of York
Corner Jimmy Orner
Corner Johnnie Horner
Corner Johnny Horner
Cough Boris Karloff
Cough Darren Gough
Cousin Baker's Dozen
Coward Frankie Howard
Crap Jamie Redknapp
Crap Macca
Crap Pony and Trap
Crap Von Trappe
Crash Sausage and Mash
cream freezer Ice
Crime Lemon Lime
Cripple Raspberry Ripple
Crook Babbling Brook
Crook Joe Rook
Crown Lousy Brown
Crust You Must
Cry Drip Dry
Cry Pipe your Eye
Crystal Palace Screaming Alice
Cunt (Fool) Charlie Hunt
Cupboard Mother Hubbard
Curry Bill Murray
Curry Ruby Murray
Customs & Excise Church Boys
Daft Fore and Aft
Dame Judy (Dench) Stench
Dance Jack Palance
Dance Kick and Prance
Darlin' Briney Marlin
Daughter Bottle of porter
Daughter Bricks and Mortar
Dead Brown Bread
Dead Father Ted
Dead Simon Said
Dead Uncle Fred
Deaf Mutt and Jeff
Deal Ian Beale
Decks (turntables) Posh �n Becks
Dice Rats and Mice
Dick (penis) Three Card Trick
Dictionary Tom, Dick and Harry
Diet Brixton Riot
Dinner Jim Skinner
Dinner John Skinner
Dinner Lilley and Skinner
Dinner Lilly and Skinner
Dinner Michael Winner
Dock Red sock
Doddle (easy or straight forward) Glenn Hoddle
Dog Cherry Hogg
Dole (welfare) Ear�ole (Ear Hole)
Dole (welfare) Nat King Cole
Dole (welfare) Rock and Roll
Dole (welfare) Sausage Roll
Dollar Oxford Scholar
Door George Bernard Shaw
Door Henry Moore
Door Roger Moore
Door Rory O'Moore
Dope Pope on the rope
Dope (marijuana) Bob Hope
Dose Half a Gross
Dozen Monkey's cousin
Dozen country cousin
Draft George Raft
Drink Kitchen Sink
Drink Salvador Dali
Drink Tiddley Wink
Drink Tumble down the sink
Drink Weakest Link
Dripping Doctor Crippen
Drugs Persian Rugs
Drunk Elephant's Trunk
Drunk Pie and Apple Chunk
Dump Foot pump
Dump (shit) Camel's Hump
Dump (shit) Donald Trump
Dump (shit) Forrest Gump
Dumps Gravy lumps
Dyke (Lesbian) Magnus Pike
Dyke (Lesbian) Three Wheel Trike
Ear King Lear
Early Liz Hurley
Ears Donald Peers
Ears Lords and Peers
Ears Ten Speed Gears
Easy Bright and Breezy
Easy Ham and Cheesy
Easy Lemon Squeesy
Egg Clothes Peg
Eighth Henry
Elbow Spanish Archer
Engineer Ginger Beer
Erection General Election
Evening Post Beans on Toast
Evens (betting) Major Stevens
Exam Green eggs and ham
Eyes Mince Pies
F**k Donald Duck
Face Boat Race
Face Chevy Chase
Face Drum and Bass
Faces Airs and Graces
Facts Brass Tacks
Fag (cigarette) Cough and Drag
Fag (cigarette) Harry Rag
Fag (cigarette) Harry Wragg
Fag (cigarette) Melvynn Bragg
Fag (cigarette) Oily Rag
Fag (cigarette) Toe-Rag
Fairy Julian Clary
Fairy (Gay) Canary
Fake Ricki Lake
Fake Sexton Blake
Fan Frying Pan
Fanny Auntie Annie
Fanny Jack and Danny
Fanny Jack 'n' Danny
Farmer (see usage) Arnold Palmer
Farrahs (trousers) Bow and Arrows
Fart Apple Tart
Fart D'Oyly Carte
Fart Horse and Cart
Fart Lionel Bart
Fart Raspberry Tart
Farting George Martin
Fault Whiskey Malt
Favour Cheesy Quaver
Fax Nails and Tacks
Feel Orange Peel
Feet Plates of Meat
Fibs (lies) Scott Gibbs
Fight Read and Write
Fine Calvin Klein
Fingers Longers and Lingers
Fire Jeremiah
Fire Anna Maria
Fish Lilian Gish
Fist Oliver Twist
Five Jacks alive
Fiver Deep Sea Diver
Fiver Pam Shriver
Fiver Sky Diver
Fiver (5 pound note) Lady Godiva
Flannel Suez Canal
Flares (wide bottom trousers) Lionel Blaire
Flash Lemon Dash
Flash (natty) Harry Dash
Floor Rory O'Moore
Flower Early Hour
Flowers April Showers
Flush Snow and Slush
Flying Squad Sweeney Todd
Football Pools April Fools
Fork Duke of York
Fork Roast Pork
Four of a Kind Cheese rind
Garage Steve Claridge
Gargle (drunk) Arthur Scargill
Gas Bottle of bass
Gay Bale of Hay
Gay (homosexual) Doctor Dre
Gay (homosexual) Finlay Quaye
Gay (homosexual) Ted Ray
Geezer Fridge Freezer
Geezer Ice Cream Freezer
Geezer Julius Caesar
Geezer Lemon Squeezer
Ghost Pillar and Post
Giggles Flight Lieutenant Biggles
Gin Mother's Ruin
Gin Needle and Pin
Gin Nose and Chin
Gin Vera Lynn
Gin and Tonic Philharmonic
Gin and Tonic Supersonic
Girl L-Rig
Girl Mother of Pearl
Girl Ocean Pearl
Girl Twist and Twirl
Girl Guide Blushing Bride
Girlfriend Lemon Curd
Giro Nightboat to Cairo
Git (twit) Strawberry Split
Gloves Turtle Dove's
Go Scapa Flow
Goal Sausage Roll
Gob (mouth) Gang and Mob
Good Robin Hood
Gossip Rex Mossop
Grand Bag of Sand
Grapes Planet of the Apes
Grass Ernie Marsh
Grass (Informant) Duck's Arse
Gravy Army and Navy
Greek Bubble and Squeak
Gregory Peck Cheque
Grief Omar Sharif
Gut King Tut
Guts Comic Cuts
Guts (stomach) Newington Butts
Gutter Bread and Butter
Gym Fatboy Slim
Haddock Fanny Craddock
Hair Barnet Fair
Hair Biffo the Bear
Hair Bonney Fair
Hair Fanny Blair
Hair Fred Astaire
Hair Tony Blair
Haircut Chicker
Hairstyle Tile
Half (a pint) Cow and Calf
Ham Uncle Sam
Hammer Windjammer
Hand Ivory Band
Hand St. Martins-Le-Grand
Hands German Bands
Hands Jazz Bands
Hands Rubber bands
Handy Jack an' Dandy
Handy Sugar Candy
Hanky Widow Twanky
Harsh Rodney Marsh
Hat Tit for Tat
Head Blood Red
Head Crust of Bread
Head Loaf of Bread
Head Uncle Ned
Heart Horse and Cart
Heart Jam Tart
Heart Strawberry Tart
Hell Ding Dong Bell
Hell Gypsy Nell
Hell Jimmy Nail
hemorrhoid Clement Freud
Hemorrhoids Emma Freuds
Hill Jack and Jill
Hole Drum Roll
Home Gates of Rome
Home Pope in Rome
Hooker One Time Looker
Hooter (nose) Pea shooter
Horse Bottle of Sauce
Horse Charing Cross
Host Pillar and Post
Hot Auntie Dot
Hot Peas in a Pot
House Cat and Mouse
House Mickey Mouse
Husband Old Pot And Pan
I don't mind Sans Fairy Ann
Ice Anneka Rice
Ice Vincent Price
Ice White Mice
Ill Jimmy Hill
Informant Snout
Jacket Desmond Hackett
Jacket Tennis Racquet
Jail Bucket and Pail
Jail Ginger Ale
Jail Rusty Nail
Jaw jackdaw
Jean�s Steve McQueens
Jeans Dixie Deans
Jeans Milton Keynes
Jeans Runner Beans
Jesus Christ Cheese and Rice
Jew Five to Two
Jew Four by Two
Jewellery Tom Foolery
Job Corn on the Cob
Job Dog's Knob
Jock (Scot) Sweaty Sock
Joke Egg Yolk
Joke Rum and Coke
Joke Bushey Park
Judge Barnaby Rudge
Judge Chocolate Fudge
Judge Inky Smudge
Keek Mozambique
Kettle Hansel and Gretel
Kettle Stinging nettle
Key Brenda Lee
Key Jenny Lee
Keys Bruce Lee�s
Keys Dancing Fleas
Keys John Cleese
Keys Knobbly Knees
Kidney Bo Diddley
Kidney Sydney
Kids Dustbin Lids
Kids God Forbids
Kids Saucepan Lids
Kids Teapot Lids
Kids Tin Lids
Kip Jockey's whip
Kipper Jack the Ripper
Kiss hit and miss
Knackered Christmas crackered
Knackered (tired) Cream Crackered
Knackered (tired) Kerry Packer
Knackers (testicles) Jacobs Crackers
Knees Biscuits and Cheese
Knees Chips & Peas
Knickers Alan Whickers
Knife Drum and Fife
Knife and Fork Drummond and Roce
Knob Uncle Bob
Kraut (German) Rainbow Trout
Labour beggar my neighbour
Lager Forsythe Saga
Lager Mick Jagger
Lark Noah's Ark
Lark Bushey Park
Lark (fun) Tufnell Park
Last Present and Past
Late Cilla Black
Late Garden Gate
Late Terry Waite
Later Baked Potato
Later Christian Slater
Later Alligator
Lather How's your father?
Laugh Bobble Hat
Laugh Bubble Bath
Laugh Cows Calf
Laugh Giraffe
Laugh Steffi Graf
Laugh Steffi Graf
Laugh Tin Bath
Laugh Turkish Bath
Laugh Wally's Scarf
Laugh Wooly Hat and Scarf
Laugh You're having a Giraffe
Lavatory Family Tree
Left Here Van Gogh Ear
Leg Mystic Meg
Legs Bacon and Eggs
Legs Ham and Eggs
Legs Mumbley Pegs
Legs Pins & Pegs
Legs Scotch Pegs
Leicester Square Euan Blair
Lesbian West End Thespian
Liar Bob Cryer
Liar Dunlop Tyre
Liar Holy Friar
Lies Pork Pies
Life (term) Porridge Knife
Light Isle of Wight
Lighter Kungfu Fighter
Lights Ian Wrights
Liver Cheerful Giver
Liver Swanee River
Lodger Artful Dodger
Look Butcher's Hook
Look Captain Cook
Loot (money) Fibre of your fabric
Lost It Kate Mossed It
Lot (Serving or share) Hopping Pot
Love Rubber Glove
Love Turtle Dove
Luck Donald Duck
Luck Friar Tuck
Lunch kidney punch
Mad East Ham
Mad Mum and Dad
Magistrate Garden Gate
Mail British Rail
Marge Little and Large
Mark Finsbury Park
Marker (pen) Ronnie Barker
Married Cash and Carried
Match Itch and Scratch
Matches Cuts and Scratches
Mate China Plate
Mate Garden Gate
Mate Ocean
M'Darlin Barney Marlin
Meat Pie Dog's Eye
Meetin' (meeting) Buster Keaton
Mental Radio Rental
Mental (crazy) Chicken Oriental
Merry Tom and Jerry
Mess Elliot Ness
Mess Slits in a Dress
Middle Hey Diddle Diddle
Milk Acker Bilk
Mind Chinese Blind
Minge Edinburgh Fringe
Mini Fat and Skinny
mint Murray
Minute cock linnet
Miss Cuddle and Kiss
Misses Plates and Dishes
Missus Cheese & Kisses
Missus (Mrs) Love and Kisses
Moan Darby and Joan
Money Ackers
Money Bees and Honey
Money Bread and Honey
Money Bugs Bunny
Mormon Jerry O'Gorman
Morning Gipsy's Warning
Motor (car) Haddock and Bloater
Mouth North and South
Mug (chump) Toby Jug
Mug (fool) Steam Tug
Nail monkey's tail
Nark Grass in the Park
Navy Soup and Gravy
Neck Bushel and Peck
Neck Gregory Peck
Nerves West Ham Reserves
Nice Chicken and Rice
Nick (prison) Shovel and Pick
Nightmare Lionel Blaire
Nightmare Weston-Super-Mare
Nipple Raspberry Ripple
Nippy Bungle & Zippy
Nippy (cold) George and Zippy
Noise Box of Toys
Noise Girls and Boys
Nose Bugle
Nose Fireman's Hose
Nose I Suppose
Nose Irish Rose
Nothing Nix/Nixies
Numbers Cucumbers
Nun Current Bun
Nun Hot Cross Bun
Obscene James Dean
Off Frank Bough
Old Man (Father) Pot and Pan
Old man (husband) Pot and Pan
On My Own Toblerone
On your own Todd Sloane
Organ Molly O'Morgan
Out of Order Allan Border
Overcoat I'm Afloat
Own Jack Jones
Paddy Tea Caddy
Pager John Major
Pakistani Bacon Sarnie
Pakistani Reg Varney
Pants Adam Ant
Pants Alans
Paper (newspaper) Linen Draper
Park Light and Dark
Park Noah's Ark
Park Plimsoll Mark
Parking Warden Gay Gordon
Party Gay & Hearty
Party Moriarty
Party Russell Harty
Pawn (as in-pawn) Bullock's Horn
Peas John Cleese
Peas Knobbly Knees
Pee Ken Smee
Pee / Wee Fiddle De Dee
Peelers (police) Pittsburgh Steelers
Peice (lunch) Merlyn Rees
Penny Abergavenny
Pension Shawshank Redemption
Philharmonic Tonic
Phone Dog and Bone
Phone Eau de cologne
Phone Herring bone
Phone Strawberry Rhone
Phone Trombone
Piano Joanna
Pickle Harvey Nichol
Pictures Dolly Mixtures
Piddle (urinate) Jimmy Riddle
Pigs (Police) Pork Chops
Piles Duke of Argyles
Piles metric miles
Piles Michael Miles
Piles Nuremberg Trials
Piles (hemorrhoids) Chalfont St Giles
Piles (hemorrhoids) Farmer Giles
Piles (hemorrhoids) Nobby Stiles
Piles (hemorrhoids) Rockford Files
Piles (hemorrhoids) Sieg Heils
Piles (hemorrhoids) Slay 'em in the aisles
Pill Jimmy Hill
Pill (birth control) Jack and Jill
Pill (Contraceptive) Fanny Hill
Pillow Tit Willow
Pillow Weeping Willow
Pills Benny Hills
Pills Mick Mills
Pills Scott Mills
Pinch (steal) Half Inch
Pinched Half inched
Pipe Cherry Ripe
Pish Lillian Gish
Pish Single Fish
Piss Arthur Bliss
Piss Gypsy's Kiss
Piss Hit and Miss
Piss Snake's hiss
Piss (Make fun of) Mickey Bliss
Piss (Urinate) French Kiss
Pissed Adrian Quist
Pissed (drunk) Brahms and Liszt
Pissed (drunk) Oliver Twist
Pissed (drunk) Schindlers List
Pissed (drunk) Scotch Mist
Pistol Lady from Bristol
Pitch (Stall or Stand) Hedge and Ditch
Planner Elsie Tanner
Please Hairy knees
Plonk (Wine) Plink
Pocket Lucy Locket
Pocket Sky Rocket
Poke Okey Doke
Police Gavvers
Police Old Bill
Police Scuffers
Ponce Charlie Ronce
Ponce Alphonse
Pong (smell) Hum & Song
Pony (25 pound) Macaroni
Poof (homosexual) Iron Hoof
Poor on the floor
Pork Mickey Rourke
Porn Frankie Vaughan
Porn Johnny Vaughn
Pots Norman Watts
Pounds (currency) Quid
Pounds (currency) Sovs
Pox Cardboard Box
Pox Holly Hox
Prat Paper Hat
Prat Prairie Hat
Prawn Frankie Vaughan
Prayer Weavers' Chair
Pregnant Keith (Chegwin)
Prick Hampton Wick
Pride Jekyll and Hyde
Priest Bag of Yeast
Priest Far East
Printer Bernie Winter
Prison Boom and Mizzen
Prison Officer Screw
Pub Nuclear Sub
Pub Rub-a-dub-dub
Pube (pubic hair) Rubric's Cube
Puff (marijuana) Mickey Duff
Punters Billies Bunter
Punters Hillman Hunters
Punters Wheeltappers and Shunters
Quarter Farmer's Daughter
Quarter Glass of Water
Queen (Elizabeth II) Baked Bean
Queer Chelsea Pier
Queer (homosexual) Brighton Pier
Queer (homosexual) King Lear
Queer (odd) Ginger Beer
Queue Bernard Matthew
Quid Bin Lid
Quid Ocean Going Squid
Quid Teapot Lid
Rabbits Nuns 'n Habits
Racing Post Holy Ghost
Rail Toby Ale
Rain Andy Cain
Rain Pleasure and Pain
Rally Manchester Scally
Randy Mahatma Ghandi
Rave (dance) Comedy Dave
Raver Cheese Gratter
Raw Bale of Straw
Readies (cash) Duane Eddies
Readies (pound notes) Nelson Eddy's
Reasons Four Seasons
Reek Ancient Greek
Rent Burton on Trent
Rent Duke of Kent
Ride Charlie Pride
Right Isle of Wight
Ring Highland Fling
Ring on Finger Ling and Linger
River Shake and Shiver
Road Frog and Toad
Road Kermit
Rookie Biscuit and Cookie
Rothmans Dustins Hoffman
Rotten Dot Cotton
Rotten Reels of Cotton
Rough Brian Clough
Row (argument) Barn Owl
Row (argument) Bull and Cow
Rum Finger and Thumb
Rum Tom Thumb
Sack last card in the pack
Sack tic tac
Sack (fired) Tin Tack
Saloon Bar Balloon Car
Sarnie (Sandwich) Georgio Armani
Sauce Dead Horse
Sauce Rocking Horse
Saucer Geoffrey Chaucer
Saw bear's paw
Scar Mars Bar
Scooby Doo Shoe
Score Bobby Moore
Score Hampden Roar
Score (�20) Apple Core
Scot Sweaty Sock
Scotch Pimple and Botch
Scotch (Whisky) Gold Watch
Scouse Mickey Mouse
Scouts Brussel Sprouts
Scram Cheese & Ham
Scran (food) Jackie Chan
Sea Housemaid's Knee
Seen Pearly Queen
Sense Eighteen Pence
Severn Bridge Hotpoint Fridge
Sex Posh �n Becks
Shabby Westminster Abbey
Shag Zig and Zag
Shagged Melvyn Bragged
Shark Noah's Ark
Shave All Night Rave
Shave Chas and Dave
Shave Dig in the Grave
Sheila Four Wheeler
Shifty Nifty n Frifty
Ship 'appeny dip
Shirt Dicky Dirt
Shirt Uncle Bert
Shit Brad Pitt
Shit Eartha Kitt
Shit Gravel and grit
Shit Tom Tit
Shit Two Bob Bit
Shite Ben Cartwright
Shite Turkish Delight
Shite (shit) Barry White
Shit's San Moritz
Shits (diarrhoea) Two-Bob Bits
Shitter Light and bitter
Shitter Mavis Fritter
Shitter (rectum) Council Gritter
Shitter (rectum) Gary Glitter
Shitter (toilet or rectum) Rick Whitter
Shocker Barry Crocker
Shocker Constantino Rocca
Shoe How d'you Do
Shoes Canoes
Shoes Dinky Doos
Shoes One and two's
Shoes Ones and Twos
Shoes Rhythm and Blues
Shoes Yabba-Dabba-Doo
Shop Lollipop
Shoulder Spark and Smoulder
Shout Brussel Sprout
Shout (round) Wally Grout
Shovel Lord Lovel
Shower David Gower
Shower Eiffel Tower
Shower Telecom Tower
Sick Bobby & Dick
Sick Moby Dick
Sick Pat and Mick
Sick Spotted Dick
Sick Tom and Dick
Sick Uncle Dick
Sight Website
Silly Auntie Lily
Silly Daffy Down Dilly
Silly Piccadilly
Silly Uncle Willy
Simple Dolly Dimple
Sister Skin and Blister
Sister Sock and Blister
Six chopsticks
Sixty-six clickety click
Skin (cigarette paper) Vera Lynn
Skint Bernie Flint
Skint Lamb & Mint
Skint Murray-mint
Skint (broke) Borassic Lint
Skive Duck and Dive
Skunk Tree trunk
Slag (prostitute) Toe Rag
Slang (Cockney Rhyming) Matheson Lang
Slap Watford Gap
Slash Charlie Nash
Slash Mark Ramprakash
Slash Pat Cash
Slash (piss) Pie and Mash
Slaughtered Son 'n Daughter'd
Sleep Bo-Peep
Sleep Meryl Streep
Slippers Big Dippers
Slippers Kippers
Smell Aunt Nell
Smile Carpet Pile
Snake Joe Blake
Sneeze Bread and Cheese
Snide Jeckyll and Hyde
Snout (cigarette) Salmon and Trout
Snout (cigarette) Salmon and Trout
Snouts (Cigarettes) Ins and Outs
Soap Band of Hope
Soap Bob Hope
Soap Cape of Good Hope
Soap Faith and Hope
Socks Almond Rocks
Socks Goldie Locks (Goldies)
Socks Tilbury Docks
Son Currant Bun
Son Hot Cross Bun
Song Ding Dong
Sores Dudley Moore's
Soup Loop de Loop
Spanner (wrench) Elsie Tanner
Sparrow Bow and Arrow
Spatula Horace Batchelor
Specs (spectacles) Gregory Peck
Specs [Spectacles) Mikkel Becks
Spine Lager and Lime
Splinter Alan Minter
Spoon Daniel Boone
Spoon David Boon
Spoon Man on the Moon
Spot (acne) Randolph Scott
Spouse Boiler House
Sprouts Twist and Shouts
Spuds Roy Hudd's
Spunk (semen) Harry Monk
Stains Michael Caines
Stairs Apples and Pears
Stairs Daisy Dancers
Stairs Dancing Bears
Star Lah-di-dah
Starved Pear Halved
Starvin' Hank Marvin
Starvin' Lee Marvin
State (anguish) Two and Eight
Steak Joe Blake
Steak Kate
Steak and Kidney Kate and Sydney
Stella Yuri Geller
Stella (Artois) Keith Deller
Stella (beer) Nelson Mandelas
Stella (beer) Paul Weller
Stella Artois (beer) Ooh Aah
Stellas (beers) David Mellors
Stench Dame Judy Dench
Stew Battle of Waterloo
Still Beecham's Pill
Stilsons (Pipe Wrenches) Harold Wilson's
Stink Pen and Ink
Stinkin Abraham Lincoln
Stool April fool
Story Jackanory
Stranger Glasgow Ranger
Stranger Queen�s Park Ranger
Stranger Texas Ranger
Straw Ali McGraw
Stray Gamma Ray
Street Field of Wheat
Strides (trousers) Donkey Rides
Strides [trousers) Jekyll and Hydes
Stripper Jack the Ripper
Strong Ping Pong
Sub Rubber Dub
Sub (pay advance) Rub a Dub
Subaru Scooby-Doo
Suit Bag of Fruit
Suit Bowl of Fruit
Suit Tin Flute
Suit Whistle and Flute
Sun Current Bun
Suntan Desperate Dan
Supersonic Gin and Tonic
Supper Tommy Tucker
Sure Bobby Moore
Suspenders No Surrenders
Swear Lord Mayor
Sydney Steak & kidney
Table Betty Grable
Table Cain and Abel
Tablets (Ecstasy) Gary Abblets
Tail Alderman's Nail
Tailor Sinbad the Sailor
Tale Daily Mail
Talk Bunny
Talk Rabbit and Pork
Talker Murray Walker
Tan Charlie Chan
Tan Peter Pan
Tanner Lord of the Manor
Tanner (sixpence) Sprarsy Anna
Tart Kick Start
Tart Treacle
Tax Candle Wax
Taxi Joe Baxi
Tea Half Past Three
Tea Rosy Lea
Tea You and Me
Teeth Bexley Heath
Teeth Edward Heath
Teeth Hampstead Heath
Telly Ned Kelly
Telly Roger Nellie
Telly Wobbly Jelly
Telly (TV) Custard and Jelly
Telly (TV) Liza Minelli
Ten Big Ben
Ten Cock and Hen
Tenner Ayrton Senna
Tenner Cockle
Tenner (�10) Paul McKenna
Tenner (10 pound note) Louise Wener
Testicles Barnacle Bills
Thank-you Sandshoe
Thief Tea Leaf
Thieving Tea Leafing
Thirst Geoff Hurst
Throat Billy Goat
Throat John O�Groat
Throat Nanny Goat
Ticket Bat and Wicket
Ticket Wilson Picket
Tie Peckham Rye
Tights Fly-by-Nights
Till Jack and Jill
Till (Cash register) Jack & Jill
Time Bird Lime
Time Grease and Grime
Time Harry Lime
Tips (Gratuities) Fish and Chips
Tit (breast) Brad Pitt
Tits First Aid Kits
Tits (breasts) Ballroom Blitz
Tits (breasts) Brace and Bits
Tits (breasts) Eartha Kitts
Tits (breasts) Fainting Fits
Tits (breasts) Thr'penny Bit
Titties (breasts) Bristol Cities
Titty (breast) Walter Mitty
Toast Holy Ghost
Toast Mickey Most
Toaster Roller Coaster
Tock Tick
Toe Sebastion Coe
Toes Bromley by bow's
Toilet Trap One
Tomato Sauce Dead Ross
Tongue Brigham Young
Tonic Supersonic
Tool April fool
Tools Crown Jewels
Tools Judge Jules
Toss Kate Moss
Tosser Dental Flosser
Tote canal boat
Tow Edgar Alan Poe
Towel Peter Powell
Towers David Gowers
Town Joe Brown
Train John Wayne
Train Michael Caine
Trainers (running shoes) Claire Rayners
Trainers (running shoes) Gloria Gaynors
Tramp (hobo) Paraffin Lamp
Tramp (hobo) Thirteen Amp
Trouble Barney Rubble
Trousers Callards
Trousers Lards
Trousers Lesley Crowthers
Trousers Round the Houses
True Eyes of Blue
Trunks Chipmunks
Tube (underground) Oxo cube
Turd (shit) Douglas Hurd
Turd (shit) Richard the Third
Turkey Pinky and Perky
Twenty-two Dinky Do
Twig Earwig
Tyres Dorothy Squires
Ugly Fugly
Ugly Face Cambridge and Oxford
Umbrella Auntie Ella
Undies Eddie Grundies
Undies Reg Grundies
Van Bread & Jam
VAT (value added tax) Vodka and Tonic
Veg Uncle Reg
Vegan Kevin Keegan
Veggie Ronnie & Reggie (Kray)
Vest East and West
Vicar Pie and Liquor
Voda (mobile phone) Whiskey and Soda
Voice Hobsons Choice
Vomit Wallace and Gromit
Wager (bet) John Major
Wages Cat and Cages
Wages Greengages
Walk Ball of Chalk
Wank Barclays Bank
Wank Jodrell Bank
Wank Tom Tank
Wank (masturbate) J. Arthur Rank
Wank (masturbate) Midland Bank
Wank (masturbate) Peddle and Crank
Wank (masturbate) Sherman Tank
Wank (masturbate) Tommy Tank
Wanker Kuwaity Tanker
Wanker Merchant Banker
Wanker Ravi Shankar
Wash Bob Squash
Watch Gordon & Gotch
Watch (fob watch) Kettle and Hob
Water Darling Daughter
Water Fisherman's Daughter
Water Ten Furlongs (Mile and a quarter)
Web Site Wind and Kite
Weed Harris Tweed
Weed Shannon Tweed
Week Bubble and Squeak
Weight Pieces of Eight
Wench Monkey Wrench
Wench Tramp on a bench
Whisky Gay and Frisky
Whore Doug McClure
Whore Roger Moore
Wife Bread knife
Wife Duchess of Fife
Wife Fork and Knife
Wife Trouble and Strife
Wig Irish Jig
Wig Syrup of Figs
Window Burnt Cinder
Windshield Wiper Billie Piper
Windy Mork and Mindy
Wine Porcupine
Wood Do me Good
Word Dicky Bird
Work Captain Kirk
Work Dunkirk
Work Kathy Burke
Worries Fred McMurrays
Wrong Falun Gong
Wrong Pete Tong
Yank Septic Tank
Yank Sherman Tank
Yank Wooden Plank
Yanks Ham Shanks
Yanks Petrol Tanks
Yawn Johnny Vaughn
Years Donkey's Ears
Yid (Jew) Front Wheel Skid
Zits Candlesticks
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