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Scientific Writing and Communication, 2e Angelika H. Hofmann Copyright © 2014 by Oxford University Press
Chapter 4
Technical Sentences
Scientific Writing and Communication, 2e Angelika H. Hofmann Copyright © 2014 by Oxford University Press
Grammar and Technical Style
Use the first personExample This study was carried out to determine…Revision We carried out this study to determine…
Use the active voiceExample X crossed the membrane.
Use past tense for observations, completed actions, and specific conclusions Example The bite caused local irritation.
Use present tense for generalizations and statements of general validity Example Most deciduous trees have leaves.
Scientific Writing and Communication, 2e Angelika H. Hofmann Copyright © 2014 by Oxford University Press
Sentence Length
Write short sentences
•Short sentences are easier to understand than long sentences
•Compare:
•Aim for 22 words/sentence on average
•Aim for one idea per sentence
•
Average # words/sentence
Scientific American/ New York Times
12-15
Scientific articles 33
IDEAL in Science 22
Scientific Writing and Communication, 2e Angelika H. Hofmann Copyright © 2014 by Oxford University Press
Sentence Length
Example (53 words)In one patient who had numerous lesions, the echocardiogram
correctly detected a large lesion (15 mm) attached to the right coronary cusp but failed to detect the 4- to 5-mm lesions found at surgery on the remaining two cusps, whereas in another patient, the echocardiogram correctly detected lesions on all three cusps.
Revision In one patient who had numerous lesions, the echocardiogram
correctly detected a large lesion (15 mm) attached to the right coronary cusp. It failed to detect the 4- to 5-mm lesions found at surgery on the remaining two cusps. However, in another patient, the echocardiogram correctly detected lesions on all three cusps.
Scientific Writing and Communication, 2e Angelika H. Hofmann Copyright © 2014 by Oxford University Press
Active Verbs
Use active verbs
•Verbs express action in English
•Avoid weak verbs—do not bury verbs in nouns
Example An increase in temperature occurred.Revised Temperature increased.
Example With an increase in sperm concentration, the fertilization rate improved.
Revised When sperm concentration was increased, the fertilization rate improved.
Scientific Writing and Communication, 2e Angelika H. Hofmann Copyright © 2014 by Oxford University Press
Noun Clusters
Avoid noun clusters
• Adding another noun (or nouns) onto an already existing noun pair is confusing
Example a) filament length variabilityb) cultured rat tracheal endothelial
cells
Revised a) variability in the length of the filaments; variability of
filament length
b) cultures of endothelial cells from the tracheas of rats
NOTE Exceptions: wavelength, water bath
Scientific Writing and Communication, 2e Angelika H. Hofmann Copyright © 2014 by Oxford University Press
Pronouns
Use clear pronouns
•Pronouns are words that take the place of nouns
Examples: it, he, she, they, these, those, them, this, that, which, and both.
•Unclear pronouns confuse readers
unclear pronoun is if a pronoun refers to
1. Too many possible nouns
2. No possible nouns
Scientific Writing and Communication, 2e Angelika H. Hofmann Copyright © 2014 by Oxford University Press
Too many possible nouns
Problem: Too many possible nouns for a pronoun
Solution: Repeat a word
Example Certain Gram+ bacteria do not respond to these drugs, so research on them is restricted.
Revision ACertain Gram+ bacteria do not respond to these drugs, so research on these drugs is restricted.
Revision BResearch on these drugs is restricted because certain Gram+ bacteria do not respond to them.
?
Scientific Writing and Communication, 2e Angelika H. Hofmann Copyright © 2014 by Oxford University Press
No possible nouns
Problem: No noun for the pronoun to refer to
Solution: Repeat a word from the previous sentence
Use a category term
Example If a specimen is frozen in a bath containing dry ice and acetone, the water of the cell can be removed by sublimation and damage to the cell prevented. This is commonly used for preservation of cultures.
Revision If a specimen is frozen in a bath containing dry ice and acetone, the water of the cell can be removed by sublimation and damage to the cell prevented. This technique is commonly used for preservation of cultures.
?
Scientific Writing and Communication, 2e Angelika H. Hofmann Copyright © 2014 by Oxford University Press
Parallelism and Comparisons
Use correct parallel form
•Parallel ideas = ideas that are equal in logic and importance (ideas joined by "and,“ "or," or "but" ; ideas that are being compared)
•Parallel form = the same grammatical structure of or two or more parallel ideas
•Parallel ideas should be written in parallel form
Scientific Writing and Communication, 2e Angelika H. Hofmann Copyright © 2014 by Oxford University Press
Examples
1. The metabolic rate of A increased 2-fold, but
the metabolic rate of B decreased 10-fold.
subject verb completer
2. The moss P. patens grows in the mountains andat sea level.
preposition prepositional phrase
Parallelism and Comparisons
Scientific Writing and Communication, 2e Angelika H. Hofmann Copyright © 2014 by Oxford University Press
Faulty Comparisons
Avoid faulty comparisons
•Overuse of “compared to”
•Ambiguous comparisons
•Incomplete comparisons
Scientific Writing and Communication, 2e Angelika H. Hofmann Copyright © 2014 by Oxford University Press
“higher” “greater” “lower” “less”
Example We found more fertilized eggs in buffer A compared to buffer B.
Revision We found more fertilized eggs in buffer A
than in buffer B.
Overuse of “compared to”
than
compared to
Scientific Writing and Communication, 2e Angelika H. Hofmann Copyright © 2014 by Oxford University Press
Ambiguous Comparisons
Don’t compare “apples and oranges”
Example These results are similar to
previous studies.
Revision A These results are similar to the results of previous studies.
Use “that” or "those” to avoid repeating the noun:
Revision B These results are similar to those of previous studies.
Scientific Writing and Communication, 2e Angelika H. Hofmann Copyright © 2014 by Oxford University Press
Incomplete Comparisons
Revision
RNA isolation is more difficult than DNA isolation.
Write complete comparisonsExample
RNA isolation is more difficult.
Scientific Writing and Communication, 2e Angelika H. Hofmann Copyright © 2014 by Oxford University Press
Common Errors
Avoid errors is spelling, punctuation, and grammarMake a checklist to go over when you are revising your manuscript
Common errors to avoid:
•The subject and verb do not make sense together
•The subject and verb do not agree
•Helping verbs are omitted
•Spelling
•Punctuation
•Other (see individual writing principles)
Scientific Writing and Communication, 2e Angelika H. Hofmann Copyright © 2014 by Oxford University Press
Punctuation
• Use the simplest approach• Use a period to end a sentence • Try to eliminate semicolons• Use punctuation to add clarity
Example Although additions of monensin were discontinued after 9 days the fermentors did not resume gas production.
Possible interpretations:a) Although additions of monensin were discontinued,
after 9 days the fermentors did not resume gas production. b) Although additions of monensin were discontinued
after 9 days, the fermentors did not resume gas production.
Scientific Writing and Communication, 2e Angelika H. Hofmann Copyright © 2014 by Oxford University Press
Punctuation (cont’d)
Use commas for:- A dependent clause before the main sentence - A dependent clause that does not change the meaning of the main
statement- Transitional words and phrases
Example Propanol, ethanol, and butanol are all organic alcohols. However, aerosol is not an
organic alcohol. (Or: Aerosol, however, is not an organic alcohol.)
Don’t use commas if:- The flow of the sentence would be interrupted - A clause within a sentence is essential to the meaning
Generally commas are used with the word “which,” but not with “that.”
Scientific Writing and Communication, 2e Angelika H. Hofmann Copyright © 2014 by Oxford University Press
Punctuation (cont’d)
• Minimize use of weak connectors. If a weak connector still must be used, put a comma before it.
• Place a comma before the “and,” as well as between the items in a series
• Punctuate complex series with semicolons or numerals
• Use quotation marks for all direct quotations, for titles of sections in larger works, and for terms used in a new or unusual way
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