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Bullying hurts

Bullyingisanongoingmisuseofpowerinrelationshipsthroughrepeatedverbal,physicaland/orsocialbehaviourthatcausesphysicaland/orpsychologicalharm.

Itcaninvolveanindividualoragroupmisusingtheirpoweroveroneormorepersons.

Bullyingcanhappeninpersonoronline,anditcanbeobvious(overt)orhidden(covert).Bullyingofanyformorforanyreasoncanhavelong-termeffectsonthoseinvolved,includingbystanders.

Singleincidentsandconflictsorfightsbetweenequals,whetherinpersonoronline,arenotdefinedasbullying.

What is bullying?

Types of bullying

What is not bullying?

•Verbal or written abuse-suchastargetedname-callingorjokes,ordisplayingoffensiveposters.

•Violence-includingthreatsofviolence.

•Sexual harassment-unwelcomeorunreciprocatedconductofasexualnature,whichcouldreasonablybeexpectedtocauseoffence,humiliationorintimidation.

•Homophobia-andotherhostilebehaviourtowardsstudentsrelatingtogenderandsexuality.

•Discrimination including racial discrimination-treatingpeopledifferentlybecauseoftheiridentity.

•Cyberbullying-eitheronlineorviamobilephone.

•Mutual conflict whichinvolvesadisagreement,butnotanimbalanceofpower.Unresolvedmutualconflictcandevelopintobullyingifoneofthepartiestargetstheotherrepeatedlyinretaliation.

•Single-episode acts ofnastinessorphysicalaggression,oraggressiondirectedtowardsmanydifferentpeople.

•Social rejection or dislikeisnotbullyingunlessitinvolvesdeliberateandrepeatedattemptstocausedistress,exclude,orcreatedislikebyothers.

It’snotalwayseasytotellifayoungpersonisbeingbullied,assometimestheydon’twanttodisclosewhat’shappeningtothem.

Ifyounoticeasignificantchangeinbehaviour,thiscouldbecauseforconcern.Othersignscanincludechangestomoodoreatingandsleeppatterns;withdrawalfromfamily,socialgroupsorfriends;declineinschoolperformanceorunwillingnesstoattend;lost,tornorbrokenbelongings;scratchesorbruises,orimplausibleexcusesforanyoftheabove.

•Staycalm.Remember,thebehaviourisatfault,ratherthanthechild.

•Makesureyourchildknowsbullyingbehaviouris inappropriateandwhy.

•Trytounderstandthereasonswhyyourchildhasbehavedinthiswayandlookforwaystoaddressproblems.

•Encourageyourchildtolookatitfromtheother’s perspective,forexample,“howwouldyoufeelif…”

•Helpyourchildthinkofalternativepathsofaction.•Provideappropriateboundariesfortheirbehaviour.

Signs that your child might be being bullied

What to do if your child is bullying others

Things you can do if your child is being bullied1. Listen to your child’s story

Trytolistentothewholestorywithoutinterrupting.Beempathic,calmandvalidatewhatyourchildsays.Askwhatyourchildwouldliketohappen,beforemakingsuggestions.

2. Have a conversation about what happened

Trynottoletyouremotionsgetinvolvedasitmightdeteryourchildfromtalkingtoyou.You’llhelpthemmoreifyoustaycalm.Remindyourchildit’snormaltofeelhurt,it’sneverOKtobebullied,andit’sNOTtheirfault.

3. Make a record of events

Noteallincidentsofbullying,includingwhat,whenandwheretheyoccurred,whowasinvolvedandifanybodywitnessedtheincidents.

4. Work with your child’s school to find a solution

Findoutiftheschoolisawareofthebullyingandwhetheranythinghasbeendonetoaddressthesituation.Checkyourschool’sbullyingpolicy.Makeanappointmenttospeaktoyourchild’steacherorwellbeingcoordinator.Followupwithanothermeetingtoensurethesituationisbeingaddressed.Remember,theyaretheretohelp.

5. Find other ways to support your child

Coachyourchildtouseneutrallanguageor,ifappropriate,jokinglanguageinresponse,andexplainthatitisbettertostayawayfromunsafesituationsifpossible.Don’toffertoconfrontthepersonyourself.

Encourageyourchildtogetinvolvedinextra-curricularactivitiessuchassportsandhobbieswheretheycanspendtimewithotheryoungpeople.

Bullying is serious• 27percentofyoungpeoplereporttheyarebullied

everytwoweeksormoreoften.

• CyberbullyinghappenstoaboutoneinfiveyoungAustralianseveryfewweeksormoreoften.

• Manyyoungpeoplewhobullyonlinealsobullyfacetoface.

• Someyoungpeoplewhoarebulliedlatergoontoengageinbullyingothers.

• Bullyingcanseriouslydamagephysical,socialandemotionalhealth.

• Bullyinghurtstheperpetratoraswell.Youngpeoplewhobullyovertimearemorelikelytoengageinongoinganti-socialbehaviourandcriminality,haveissueswithsubstanceabuse,demonstratelowacademicachievementandbeinvolvedinfuturechildandspouseabuse.

©Copyright2015.Disclaimer:Theinformationcontainedinthisbrochurewascorrectanduptodateatthetimeofprinting,andmaybesubjecttochange.

Who can help?Kids Helpline 1800551800www.kidshelp.com.au

Cybersafety help www.cybersmart.gov.au

Australian Federal Police www.afp.gov.au

ReachOut.com au.reachout.com

Beyondbluewww.beyondblue.org.au

Bullying. No way! www.bullyingnoway.gov.au

The Australian Psychological Society www.psychology.org.auTodownloadanelectronicversionofthisbrochure,visittheNationalCentreAgainstBullying(NCAB)website:www.ncab.org.au

TheAlannahandMadelineFoundationPOBox5192SouthMelbourneVic3205t(03)96970666f(03)96905644einfo@amf.org.auwamf.org.au

foundation partner

Contact usTheAlannahandMadelineFoundationisanationalcharitykeepingchildrensafefromviolence.TheFoundationwassetupinmemoryofAlannahandMadelineMikac,agedsixandthree,whoalongwiththeirmotherand32othersweretragicallykilledatPortArthur,Tasmaniaon28April1996.