a guide to spiritual direction
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spiri uala guide to
direction
DEVELOPED BY JAMES L. DAVIS, D. MIN
EDITED BY LACEY N. HOWARD
COPYRIGHT 2009
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A Guide to Spiritual Direction2
Foreword
by Sacinandana SwamiHindu monk and Spiritual Director of the
Vedic University, Berlin
When I met Jim Davis for the first time it was during an
interreligious convention in West Virginia. Gathered there were
Hindus, Muslims, Christians, and some spiritual seekers who
would not give themselves a religious designation. The person
who would eventually become my friend sat at a table
talking with a Hindu monk. We got introduced and went for a
long walk, discussing our experiences on that most wonderfuland demanding journey human beings have undertaken since
time immemorial: the journey into an experienced relationship
with God.
During that first walk we connected instantlyespecially since
we agree that the content different religions try to deliver is often
identical, while the words describing the different religious
experiences differ. We both see that subjects such as means of
purification, inner transformation, freedom from ego, the
greatness of God, and the need for a transmitter between the
ant-like human being and the transcosmic, but immanent, Lord
are found in every way of religious life. And we both felt very
elevated to talk about Godperhaps because we felt His
presence in these talks.
Over the years since that first walk, we have met again and again
and finally an idea was born: Since Jim has a lot of experiencein counseling and helping people who come to him for direction,
why not write something like a handbook based on his
experience? If the spiritual experience, which underlines the
various religious teachings would really be similar in all traditions
(as both of us found), this book could be of benefit. The book
you are about to read is the outcome of this effort.
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A Guide to Spiritual Direction3
I personally like it very much and use it myself. However, I
encourage you to read it with two eyes. One eye should search
for the universal principles that hold true for everyone, and theother eye can look (if you wish) for the differences and small
nuances where your own tradition may have different
perspectives. Then, your findings can encourage you to move
forward in your own tradition in a more convinced way.
Here in Germany we have a saying: Children are told stories so
that they can fall asleep; grown-ups are told the same stories to
help them wake up.
Let me sum up these introductory thoughts with a little story. I
have heard this story in slight variations within many religious
meetings Hindu, Christian, Sufi, and even Celtic. The idea is so
good, that I decided to write my own version, keeping the unique
contribution of each religion in mind. May it inspire you for
greater depth in your own spiritual life.
Lessons from a Tea Cup
Once there was a young man, rather immature in his life, but
ready to learn. He had a strong liking for antiques and was
always eager to visit the different antiques stores during his
holidays in Europe. Over time he developed a strong interest in
antique pottery and especially in tea cups. He felt that they each
had a unique story to tell.
Once, in a dusky antiques store in Serbia, he spotted an
exceptional tea cup which clearly had Turkish influences. He
asked the bespectacled seller, May I see that exceptionally
beautiful tea cup over there? It seems to come from Turkey.
As the seller handed him the tea cup, the young man suddenly
heard the tea cup speak.
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You dont understand, it said, I have not always been a tea
cup. There was a time when I had no idea what service meant. I
was just a dumb lump of red clay on the ground. Let me tell youmy story, you will learn from it. The cup continued on, saying,
Ive lived for many, many thousands of years. Ive witnessed
war and peace come and go. Entire civilizations rolled over me
as I sat there waiting...for what, I dont know. Then one day my
master came. He took me to his home, rolled and pounded me
on a wooden table. Again and again, he poked his fingers into
me until finally I yelled out, Dont do that! Leave me alone! But
he only smiled and gently said, Not yet.
The tea cup became more and more alive as he spoke to the
shocked young man. Then, whoommmm! I was suddenly on a
spinning wheel and was spun around repeatedly until I lost all
sense of direction. Stop it! Cant you see that Im getting sick?
Take me off the spinning wheel! But my master only nodded in
understanding and quietly said, Not yet. He continued to bend
me in and out of shape and then he...he placed me carefully into
an oven. I never felt such heat before. I yelled and knocked andpounded at the door. It is hotter than hell; Im burning to ashes.
Please get me out of here before it is too late. I could see him
through a tiny hole but could only read his lips as he shook his
head from side to side and silently pronounced, Not yet.
When I thought I could not bear the heat any longer, the door
opened. He carefully took me out and put me on a shelf where
I began to cool. It felt so good to be left alone. But there was
more to come. After I had cooled down he carefully picked me
up, looked at me and brushed some dust away. Then, he
painted on colors and something transparentthe glaze. The
fumes were horrible! I thought I would gag! Please! Have you no
mercy? Dont you understand my misery? Please, please give
up on me! Please! Stop it! But he only shook his head and said,
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A Guide to Spiritual Direction5
Not yet, you are not yet ready.
Unexpectedly, and very quickly, he put me back into the oven.This time it was about twice or thrice as hot as the first time.
From the beginning I thought, This is my death! I begged. I
pleaded. I threatened. I screamed. Finally, I cried without tears,
not even hot tears. I was convinced I would never make it. I was
ready to give up. Just thenas I was fainting, the door opened
and he took me out. Again, he placed me on the shelf where I
was left to cool. I waited...and waited...and waited. What was
going to be next?
About an hour later he came back and placed a mirror before me
and said, Look at yourself! And I did. What I saw amazed me. It
is what you see now. Thats not me! I said. That cannot be me.
It is too beautiful.
In a very compassionate voice he spoke. This is what you are
meant to be. And then he explained, I know it hurt you when I
rolled and kneaded you on the table. But if I had not gotten theair out of you, you would have broken. I know you must have
lost all sense of orientation when I was spinning you. But without
the spinning wheel, you would never have come into this form.
I know the fumes of the colors and the glaze were intolerable
when I painted you all over. But if I had not done that, you would
not have had any color in your life and you wouldnt have
hardened. And when I placed you in the second oven I knew that
this would be the most severe part. But without it, you would
have broken very easily when the realities of life would come.
Believe me; all I did was for your good. Now you are what I had
in mind when I first saw you on the ground. Now you are a
finished product. With this the tea cup stopped speakingbut
there was a tear of gratefulness coming from its beautiful rim.
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The young man purchased the tea cup and used it only when
he offered something to God. He never forgot the lesson he
received from it. And whenever he was in a difficult situation andfelt like calling out Stop it! Leave me alone! he remembered the
words of the teacup maker, Not yet. However, he also became
grateful, for he knew that everything that happened was
designed by the Lord to make him what he was meant to
become: A pleasing servant.
God knows what He is doing for each of us. He is the potter and
we are the clay. He will mold us and expose us to enough
pressures of just the right kind so that we become a perfect
piece to His liking: Ready to be of service.
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Authors Note
This book is written as a primer for spiritual directorsthose
who direct others in a spiritual life. The texts intention is to help
readers learn to address issues of spirituality as they arise in the
everyday lives of those who seek spiritual guidance. My years as
a parish priest and spiritual director have taught me that spiritual
direction is something that humans crave. It is my hope that this
book will offer a user-friendly approach to and act as a guide for
spiritual direction.
The text is divided into three parts. First, a definition of
spirituality followed by five basic principles of spiritual care.Second, a how-to section that demonstrates ways to
incorporate these basic principles in the process of giving
spiritual direction. Finally, I offer a prescription for spiritual
nourishment and growth.
While this is not an academic text, I hope that academics may
find it useful. Although I am a Christian and a priest in the
Episcopal Church, I have written this book in such a way that its
ideas can be applied by spiritual directors from traditions other
than Christianity. Because this book is about the basic principles
of spiritual care, I assume that readers interested in this topic
already believe in the existence of God, or at least another plane
of existence that transcends our human consciousness.
Therefore, I am not going to offer an argument for whether or
not God exists. Also, please note that although all the pronouns
throughout the text are he, I in no way believe that spiritual
directors or seekers must be male. I believe strongly in theequality of men and women in the spiritual life.
With this text, I hope to help you access Gods power and to be
conscious of it in your everyday life. As you read, I pray that
consciousness of God will be awakened in new ways for you.
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Spirituality is a hot topic today. But what is spirituality?
Spirituality is a willingness to be led by God. A willingness to be
led implies simple surrenderturning your life and will over to
the care of God. Letting Gods will direct and guide us will initiate
a process in which we find meaning and purpose. Meaning
refers to what is intended or expressed. Purpose is the reason
for which something exists. Issues of meaning and purpose
serve as the foundation of our existence. Humans cannot live
fulfilling lives without grappling with issues of meaning andpurpose. In a steadfast commitment to truth, Socrates
maintained that the unexamined life is not worth living. Through
examining our lives, we will discover who we are and why we
are. Humans need to express who we are: meaning-making
beings. We also need to explain why we are: purpose-
making beings. We humans struggle to find meaning and
purpose in our lives because we are prevented from truly
expressing and explaining ourselves. The hatred, violence, and
rise of psychological depression in todays world confirm this.
Why?
Sooner or later, everyone asks the question, Why? Why me?
Why did this happen to me?
Introduction:
What is spirituality?
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At its root, why, is a spiritual question because it invariably
addresses those things and issues that provide meaning and
purpose. Throughout history, people have wrestled with issuesabout why because spirituality is a basic and fundamental issue
with which humans must come to grips.
Spirituality deals with the meaning and purpose in all that exists
(actuality)not only physical objects, but also to beliefs, desires,
intentions, and thoughts. James Ashbrook, one of my former
professors, liked to say, humans are object-seeking and
meaning-making beings.
Faith should be understood as a natural human orientation or
innate disposition to lifes ultimate meaning and purpose. In
other words, we are all born having faith. We are programmed
for it. However, faith is more than a state of mind, it involves
movement and activity. Faithful people are searching and
discovering. Searching is a process of expression and
discovering is a process of meaning. Because of this, spirituality
and faith are linkedyou cant have one without the other.
Keys to faith
Lets look at what faith means in terms of two things: ultimacy
and authenticity. Above, I suggested that faith is a natural
human orientation to lifes ultimate meaning and purpose. What
does ultimate mean? Issues of ultimacy address final reference.
A final referent is that authority beyond which we can no longer
appeal. A final referent has the final say. In the U.S. legal system,
the Supreme Court is the final referent for issues of law. Citizens
cannot appeal to any higher court. It is the end point.
God as final referent
If issues of ultimacy address final reference, what do we call this
final referent and how do we access it? Might I suggest that the
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name for the final referent is God. God is the one who provides
meaning and purpose in our lives. God is the final source of
appeal. God is the ultimate. And the way we access God isthrough the practice of what I call God consciousness.
Consciousness of God implies self-awarenessa subjective
feeling of both the presence and the absence of God. Self-
awareness entails more than intellectual assent or simply
believing that God exists. Being conscious of God means
being aware of and having a relationship with God through
spiritual practice. Spirituality is therefore about God
consciousness. This, however, requires practice.
The authentic life
Because faith is a natural human orientation, to be human is to
be a person of faith. No one can live an authentic life without
faith. By authentic, I mean living according to the manner and
purpose for which we were created. For instance, if we believe
that humans are created by God, with equal status to be in
relationship with each other, and to exercise dominion over the
entire creation, then any violation of that belief (such as throughprejudice or bigotry) is inauthentic. Even those who claim to be
faithless live with faiththey merely have faith in being
faithless. They find their meaning and purpose in life through a
faithless existence. But this does not mean that a faithless life is
an authentic oneit simply means a faithless life is a false life. A
false life, like a false self, prevents one from authentic existence.
When this happens we become imposters. We spend our lives
pretending to be something we are not and chasing something
(idea, belief, person, place or thing) that cannot deliver on the
promises it claims.
What is spiritual direction?
Spiritual direction is about helping people practice and cultivate
God consciousness. Let me be very clearspiritual direction
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and care is not psychotherapy. Spirituality is necessarily about
being conscious of God, whereas psychotherapy is not
necessarily about God or consciousness of God. Psychotherapyaddresses the psychological make-up of an individual that may
or may not have anything to do with the persons relationship
with God. The primary task of spiritual direction is to focus on
relationship with God. When people are out of relationship with
God, are not conscious of God, problems occur. But the job of a
spiritual director is to confront and cultivate God
consciousness, and to refer any psychological or psychiatric
issues to the appropriate source. Here is a brief story that
illustrates my point:
Several years ago as a newly ordained Christian Episcopal priest,
I went to seek spiritual guidance from a person who was living as
a Christian hermit. He also happened to be a licensed
psychotherapist who had retired from psychotherapeutic
practice to devote his time to cultivating the spiritual life. After
I told him my story, he asked, Jim, do you like people? I said,
No, I dont think I like people right now, because at the time Iwas exhausted and stressed out from work and domestic duties.
He replied, What you need is psychotherapy and not spiritual
direction at this point in your life. I am no longer serving in that
capacity. I suggest you go to see a therapist and work out your
psychological issues.
I was shocked. I had driven two hours to hear him tell me I
needed a therapist! What kind of spiritual guide was he? How
dare he insult me? Later, after I reviewed my life, I discovered
the hermit might have a point. So, I went to see a
psychotherapist who helped me address the psychological
barriers that were preventing me from growing into relationship
with God.
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What kind of spiritual guide was the old hermit? A terrific guide.
He knew what I needed and made the appropriate
recommendation. He did not feel a need to delve into areas inwhich he was no longer interested or educated. He knew his
limitations, and he was able to start me down a road that has led
me into a type of God consciousness that I never would have
been able to reach on my own. As spiritual directors, we should
be cautious that we do not turn spiritual direction into a
substitute form of psychotherapy.
A willingness to be ledSpirituality is the search for meaning and purpose in our livesa
search conducted in faith and one that leads to consciousness
of God. The starting point for any discussion and practice of
spirituality is the willingness to be led, or the willingness to
consider alternative options and ways to reach total meaning
and purpose. This does not imply acceptance; rather, it means
being open to considering a way, or ways, to God
consciousness. Here is an illustration:
Suppose a man comes to see you for spiritual direction. After
listening to his needs and concerns, you recommend a spiritual
exercise according to his own tradition. Hindus may use Joppa
beads; Christians may say the rosary; Buddhists may practice
zazen (seated meditation), and Sufis may dance. All spiritual
traditions have some sort of exercise to assist in God
consciousness.
After recommending a spiritual exercise, you schedule an
appointment for a future meeting, at which, this man will report
his progress. At this meeting you ask how he got along with the
exercise you assigned. If he responds, Oh. I tried that for two
days, decided it was a stupid thing to do, and quit. Now I want
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you to assign another exercise for me which I hope I like better.
You can see that this man is not willing to be led. He decidedthat the exercise was useless, so he quit doing it. When he
closed himself to considering a way to God (even one that may
seem foolish or stupid), he put himself in the role of final referent.
In other words, this person became God. And whenever a
person thinks he is God, he is severely off base. A human is a
finite being and cannot become Godan infinite being. The
most grave mistake we can make is to think that we are God or
to allow others to worship us as if we are rock stars or
celebrities. An obvious question that needs to be asked is, How
do you help a person see that he cant know God if he is
unwilling to be led?
The willingness to be led does not mean mere intellectual assent
nor is it simply an act of will. The willingness to be led requires a
submissive heart.
Submission means to be under (sub) the direction or guidance(mission) of someone else. Heart, in this context, is used
metaphorically and implies that the heart is the source of all
intents, desires, and longings. A submissive heart is one that
longs and desires to be under the guidance of another. In the
spiritual life this translates into a desiring and longing to be
under the direction of Godto desire God consciousness.
The first act a person should make is to surrender or submit to
God. In the western world, surrender has a negative connotation
that implies defeat, weakness, and cowardice. In the spiritual
life, surrender has a positive connotation that implies victory,
strength, and courage. When we turn our wills and lives over to
God, this turning is an un-coerced, joyful act. Humans are
created with a natural disposition to be led by God (earlier we
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referred to this natural human orientation as faith), a question
you might ask is, How am I able to do this?
The willingness to be led and the cultivation of a submissive
heart can only occur if you are willing to acknowledge the
authority of another. In the spiritual life, this means turning your
life over to God and accepting God as the supreme authority in
your life. Authority is an acknowledged form of delegated power.
A powerful being is one who has the ability to influence others.
However, a powerful being does not necessarily have authority.
Acknowledging the authority of anotherin this case God
comes by delegating and recognizing Gods ability to influence,
resulting in God consciousness.
The basic human dilemma we all face is lack of power. We all
desire power and seek influence. But a key to spiritual living is
acknowledging that true power comes from accepting the
authority of God. This authority is manifested by a
consciousness of the need and importance of Gods power in
life, and acknowledging that this is what the human seeks.
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Part One: Basic
Principles of Spirituality
I was chatting with a friend and she asked, What makes a
person spiritual? What follows is my response. I hope Part One
of this text defines spirituality for you, as well.
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Chapter 1
Worldview
Several years ago I was taking a class on pastoral care, one of
the students made the following remark, Professor, you seem
so comfortable working with people without taking or using
notes. I wish you could teach us how to do it. The professor
replied, Everybody works from notes. Some are written down,
some remain in your head, but everyone works from notes.
This was his way of reminding us that all people have a
worldview. All people have some assumptive base from which,
and on which, they build their livesa worldview. Everyone hasa worldview and it is imperative that spiritual directors
understand their own individual worldview. A worldview
encompasses questions such as, What is my philosophy of
life? What belief system do I acknowledge and live by? What is
important and valuable in life? Is there such a person or thing as
God? What is the nature of humanity?
All worldviews make claims, and the credibility of a worldview
depends upon its ability to deliver on the claims that it makes.
When examining our worldviews, it is important to ask, What
are the claims inherent in my worldview? and, Is my worldview
able to deliver on the claims it makes?
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Lets look at two examples: the existentialist and the
consumerist. An existentialist is one who believes life is
meaningless, absurd, and pointless. The purpose of life forexistentialists consists of merely grinding out an existence. A
consumerist is one who believes that meaning and purpose in
life comes through the accumulation of possessions and goods.
The more one has, the more meaningful life becomes.
Existentialism and consumerism are false worldviews because
history has shown that neither is able to provide for the claims it
makes.
Individuals take two basic positions when forming a worldview:
theism or atheism. A theist believes in the existence God. An
atheist does not believe in God.
Because a theist believes in the existence of God, theism forms
the basis of our worldviews. However, as theists, we need to ask
ourselves, What kind of theist am I? Am I a polytheist who
believes in the existence of several gods, or am I a monotheist
who believes in one God? Next, we need to ask, How is thisGod I believe in, manifested in todays world?
A revelation is something God discloses to us. God is the
initiator; we are the responders. This is a crucial point
revelation is not something we discover on our own merit. It is
something that God makes known to us. We do not discover
God. God finds us and invites us into relationship. This is why
faith is a gift and is not something we can purchase or acquire
by our own means. Faith is a gift from God that we have the
capacity to accept or deny. Because spiritual care must begin
with an examination of a belief system and how that belief
system serves as the foundation for a life of faith and service to
God, we must examine our beliefs.
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What kind of Theist am I?
How is God revealed to me?
How can I help to reveal God to others?
ask yourself...
Take some time now to think about your faith in God and the
belief system you have developed to support your faith.
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Chapter 2
Leading Others to God
How does one lead people to God? Here are five principles of
spiritual care that enable us to do that:
Modeling and imitation: How we act
Behavioral scientists claim that imitation is the strongest form of
learning. I agree with this notion because imitation and
modeling entail comprehensive incorporation of the lifestyle,
thoughts, behavior, and feelings of another. There is an old
saying, You cannot give something away that you do not have.
If we are not regular practitioners of spirituality we will be unable
to lead or direct others. How we live our lives is vital to the
credibility of our message and presence. People will not respect
us or listen to us if we regularly violate the basic principles of our
faith tradition.
Principle
Modeling/Imitation
Establishment of trust
Definition of purpose
Articulation of purpose
Acceptance of invitation
Definition
How we act
Creating a safe place
Knowing your end point
Communication
Walking with God
principles of spiritual care
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Two critical areas of self-examination are necessary in order to
be effective spiritual directors: Our understanding of our
relationship with God; and our understanding of our relationshipwith others. All relationships, by definition, should entail a mutual
reciprocity between two people. Think of mutual reciprocity as
the give-and-take that goes on between you and another. Can
you describe the give-and-take that occurs between you and
God?
Take a hard look at your current relationship with God: Is your
relationship with God a personal one? Can you contact and
communicate with God as a friend? Or is your relationship with
God based more on abstract theoretical concepts and less on
practical daily experience? Is God just some theoretical holy
other to whom you give intellectual credence because it is what
you think you are supposed to do? Are you conscious of God
and aware of Gods presence in your daily life? Do you miss this
relationship when it is absent? Is your relationship based upon
trust or fear? Are you afraid of God because your God punishes
people who fall short of self-imposed standards? Or is your Goda God of mercy and tender love in whom you live, and move,
and have your being? Or is your God one you can go to at any
time and for any reason without feeling intimidated?
Before you act as a spiritual director, you must be conscious of
God and you must live a life that reflects that consciousness.
Otherwise, people will not seek assistance from you. They may
come, but they will not stay because you are not actively living in
God consciousness.
Your relationship with others is based on your understanding of
God. As well as the needs that all humans instinctively possess,
I believe that God created humans with basic needs.
Chapter 2
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Otherwise, individuals will slip into meaningless and purposeless
existence. God did not create humans to live without pleasure.
However, humans easily confuse their sources for pleasure,choosing gratification of the senses and missing the pleasure
that is part of being conscious of God.
Self Expression
Everyone has a need to be creative. We need to be able to
exercise our God-given talents and gifts. Otherwise, we end up,
as T. S. Eliot says, in his poem The Love Song of J. Alfred
Prufrock 1917, measuring out our lives with coffee spoons,
where precision and orderand the maintenance of that order
take priority in life, allowing no room for novelty.
Spiritual Direction
Each individual has a desire to find meaning and purpose in life.
We cannot function as children of God without some ultimate
sense of direction and goal. If we do not know who we are and
where we are going, life will become absurd and meaningless
(existentialism).
Socialization
People were created by God to be in relationship with one
another. We were not created to exist or live in a vacuum,
independently of others. There are some exceptions to this, but
most of us are created to be social beings. Isolation leads to a
negative progression: from depression, to diminished self worth,
which leads to lack of hope, diminished faith, and a meaningless
existence.
If any of these six human needs are unfilled our lives become
stunted. Spiritual directors need to be able to assess these
needs as we relate to our own relationships with God in the
midst of interaction with other people.
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People seeking help will come to you to be guided. They will
look to you as a leader, as someone who can help them go
where they need to go. But they will ask two basic questions:
Why should I listen to you? and, Why should I follow you?
To be most effective, your responses should clearly integrate the
following four areas of spiritual direction: predictability, purpose,
communication, and invitation.
Chapter 3: Meeting
Basic Human Needs
Predictability
Listen to me because I am trustworthy.
Purpose
Follow me because I know where I am going.
Communication
Listen to me because I can articulate whereI am going in clear ways.
Invitation
Follow me because I want you to go with me.
areas of spiritual direction
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In spiritual care giving, the end point is consciousness of God.
As directors, we are obligated to inform our devotees that their
destination is God consciousness. We are also responsible forkeeping people on the correct path. Often, people wander away
from the given path of God consciousness. It is your job to lead
people back on the right road when they get derailed. This
involves correction. Some involved in spiritual direction are
reluctant or even unwilling to use correction in the process of
spiritual formation. I believe this is a mistake. The issue is not if
a person gets off the path, but what to do when the person gets
off the path. People come to a director expecting guidance and
craving correction. Do not be influenced by some current
ideological thinking that sees correction as a form of imperialism
and hierarchical tyranny. Spiritual guides and directors are meant
to direct, and if we are not willing to do that, then we do not
belong in the role. The exercise of correction is necessary and is
not negotiable; however, the way correction is exercised can be
negotiable.
Articulation of Purpose: CommunicationIt is not enough to know where we are going. We must be able
to communicate our knowledge and destination point to others.
Here is a story:
I worked with someone who was designated as a spiritual leader.
This person was officially mandated with the oversight and
spiritual care of over 10,000 souls. This is an awesome
responsibility and one that requires great diligence, execution
and the establishment of mechanisms for delivering care. This
spiritual leader was initially able to establish trust by creating a
safe place, and he knew the end point. However, he was not able
to articulate this to the peopleit was all inside his head. He
knew where he wanted to go, but no one else knew his plan
because he could not communicate his intended direction to
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others. Consequently, people who looked to him for direction
were not able to follow him and chaos was brewing.
My job, after ensuring that some of the four previous principles
were covered was to help this spiritual leader learn how to
communicate the direction he deemed necessary for people.
This was accomplished by creating a plan that was then
communicated to everyone under his jurisdiction. Once people
had an idea of the path they were expected to follow, chaos was
avoided.
However, a portion of communication requires the ability to
ensure that the selected plan or path is implemented. This
person, while having the best of intentions, was constitutionally
incapable of executing the appropriate oversight necessary to
enable the original goalof making God Consciousness
available to all under his care.
Unfortunately for the people under this leaders care, a failure to
implement the necessary steps along the path resulted in loss ofdirection for those he leads. A loss of direction ultimately results
in confusion, which leads to mistrust. Mistrust causes people to
question their respect for a leaders, or can result in chaos and
failure.
Invitation: Walking with God
When people come to us for spiritual direction it is vital that we
see their arrival as a response to an invitation from the faith that
they believe God has given them and to which God is calling
them. The spiritual directors role in this process is to continue
to help them discern what God is calling them to do and where
God is calling them to go. Be careful of the trap of self-
delusionbelieving that people are coming to you because you
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During a Hindu/Christian Dialogue a person said to me, I hear
you are a Christian priest. What does a Christian priest do?
After a moment I responded, I am an invisibilist. To which the
person asked, What is an invisibilist? I replied, My job as a
priest is to be invisible. I exist to lead people to God. In order to
do this I need to get out of the way so the people can see and
experience God and not simply me. She said, It must be real
hard to do that. I replied, It is a difficult thing to do, especially
in the materialistic world in which we live.
In Part Two, I offer illustrations and give examples that I hope will
help readers to learn the Art of Invisibilism. Spiritual caregiving
becomes authentic as the caregiver gets out of the way
becomes invisiblein leading people to God.
Part Two: The Art of
Invisibilism
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Chapter 4:
Encounter
An encounter and an interview are separate, distinct
occurrences. An encounter is a meeting with another. The first
encounter with a person seeking spiritual direction often does
not occur in your office or private dwelling. Often, it happens
when you least expect iton the steps of a worship center, while
you are having simple conversation, or at the grocery store.
When an encounter occurs, your goal as a spiritual director is
first to acknowledge the person and his needs. Be courteous
and attentive because God sent this person to you.
Acknowledge the person
Identify the issues
Decide what to do about the issues
Set up a meeting
Ensure continuity of care
Recognize your limits
Stick to your guns
Enlist supervision and support
guidelines for encountering one who
appeals for spiritual formation
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seriousness of the person seeking direction. If you are serious
about providing spiritual care to another, you should establish
a relationship with that person. Relationships that require thedepth and trust necessary for spiritual direction demand
contexts that create safe climates. A spiritual director tries to
create a climate that will help to ensure total meaning and
purpose.
Ensure continuity of care
One of the biggest issues facing the U.S. health care industry
today is continuity of care. Who is in charge of the carethe
insurance company? the hospital? the primary care physician?
the patient? The complexity of the system is such that it is not
unusual for people to get lost. As this happens, patients do not
get the continuity of care necessary for an appropriate holding
context so that healing may occur.
The same is true for spiritual care giving. Establishing an
opportunity for continuous care must be one of your basic goals
at the start of any relationship. If you are not able to providecontinuity of care for any reason, I suggest you be honest with
the person seeking care.
Recognize your limits
To be effective, a relationship with a devotee must be based on a
spiritual caregivers consistency, honesty, and interest. Be
realistic and understand that you cannot be all things to all
people. You may not be able to work with some people in the
way that is necessary for God consciousness to occur. If
needed, simply say, I am not the appropriate person for you to
talk with about your relationship with God. But I can refer you to
a person who I think might be able to help you. Then be quiet
and let the devotee respond. It is your job to find the care
appropriate for the person. If he refuses, saying, You are the
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only one who can help me. I can not see someone else. No
one is as good as you, be careful. This response can seduce
your ego into falsely believing that you are the only one. Yourresponse to the seekers comment should be sensitive, yet firm
enough to indicate that you will not be changing your mind.
Stick to Your Guns
This next step is critical. If the person accepts your
recommendation of seeing someone else, wish him well and
encourage him to continue to seek God consciousness. If he
tries another seductive move similar to the one mentioned
above, hold your ground. Simply end the meeting.
Remember, no one is irreplaceable. No one is God or should
play God, regardless of how tempting it may be. If you find
yourself falling into this trap, seek out a peer with whom you can
discuss the situation.
Enlist Supervision and Support
This brings me to another critical point in the giving of spiritual
care. Because the requirements for spiritual direction are sogreat, it is vital to your health and the health of others that you
have a group of peers with whom you can discuss things. Make
certain the group you select is trained in God consciousness.
This group must include people who will be honest and direct
in their advice and comments. Make sure you have this group
selected in advance of your practice of spiritual care giving.
With the type of intimacy that can be generated in spiritual care,
it is important that neither you nor the seeker make erroneous
assumptions that can lead to a violation of the relationship. A
cautionary note: Desire for sexual intimacy can be an issue here.
Do not get caught up in this (see Appendix B, page 106).
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An interview is a formal, structured meeting. Technical skill is
required to conduct an interview and six specific skills are
necessary for effective interviewing.
The science of observation
Observation is not some sort of mystical gift that one gets from
the great beyond, but a skill developed through practice. It
includes the ability to notice the types of interactional dynamics
as well as intrapsychic dynamics that occur during an interview
and relating them to relationship with God. Non-verbal as well as
verbal responses should be recognized. The observation
process begins when one first encounters the potential devotee.
In many instances, this is a telephone call. It is important to
Chapter 5:
Interview
The science of observation
Following the affect
The concept of process
The ability to make an assessmentRanking
The art of facilitating transitions
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realize that a telephone conversation can offer interesting
insights into the relational process with which you are being
asked to dealthe human as well as the divine. It is alsoimportant to note who is making the call. For instance, is the
husband calling to set up an appointment for his wife? Is an
assistant making the call for his employer? Is a parent
making an appointment for his child? Also learn the reasons for
the call. I recommend taking notes with any phone conversation
as a first interview. When the time comes during the face-to-face
interviewusually shortly after you complete the social greeting
stagereference your notes to address any concerns you may
have and ask the person to comment on them.
Following the affect
Following the affect refers to directing ones comments in
response to a seekers emotional state. You should also pay
close attention to your feelings because your emotions will
indicate a relational response that will have bearing on the
interaction. Following the affect of the person and yourself helps
to get you organized around a central component and leads tocoherence rather than fragmentation. Note where there is
incongruence in content and affect or an unusual lack of affect in
the conversation. For instance, if the person is telling you what
you believe to be a very sad, painful encounter, and they show
no sadness or remorse but instead smile throughout the
episode, this demonstrates incongruence. If the person is
incongruent in this episode, think about their congruence or
incongruence in their relationship with God. While paying
attention to affect is important in the interview, you should also
be careful that you do not move too quickly to deep feeling
levels during the initial interview because it may be too
threatening an issue, and may cause the person to distance from
you rather than bonding with you. Keep in mind that your
primary job in this initial interview is to establish a holding
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context. What you do not want is to push the person to an
affectual level they are not yet prepared to address.
Process
Processthe timing, order, and number of themes as well as
behaviors, affect, and ideas that ariseis inherent in any
interview. For instance, how many different areas of concern
does the person tell you about? In what order are they
disclosed? How are they disclosed? Is the affect congruent with
the content?
While process deals with the how of interaction, content deals
with the what of interaction. Body posture, facial expressions,
tone of voice, balance in the conversation, and what may be
unspoken but still carries impact, are all important factors to
consider while interviewing. Particular areas of process that
require special attention during the interview are intimacy,
decision making, sharing of power, and commitment.
AssessmentAssessment is a complex process that occurs during the
interview. It refers to the measuring or sizing up that occurs
between you and the person and includes the collection of
pertinent data. In order to be able to collect the necessary
information, the interviewer must be open-minded and relaxed.
During the initial interview your role is to not only establish a
rapport that will enable a safe holding context, but also to collect
important information that will help you assess the situation. One
of the biggest mistakes beginning directors make is to assume
that the interview is just a time for socialization. It is not. People
will come to you seeking advice and direction. In order for that to
happen, I recommend having guidelines and directives in place
that will enable the necessary information exchange. You should
develop a format with set questions that will guide the interview.
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As an example, the one I use appears in Appendix A, page 104.
RankingAny assessment should include rankinga prioritizing of
hunches and ideas that occur spontaneously in an interview. It is
important for the interviewer to be familiar with this process so
that he will be able to balance the interaction and set guidelines
for discussion. For instance, most people come for spiritual
direction with lots of issues on their mind. It is your job as a
director to be able to determine which issues are of major
concern and which are not. Ranking the issues will help provide
clarity and direction, engendering positive expectations. If
someone leaves the interview with some hope, his motivational
level will be elevated.
Facilitating Transitions
Making transitions is a key factor in any interview. Smooth
transitions foster trust while rough ones can create alienation
and distance. An interviewer should be able to help a person
move along at a comfortable pace and in a non-threateningmanner. Process and content should be directed in a natural
way. Sudden leaps into tangential or threatening issues as well
as excessive dwelling on one particular issue should be avoided.
During the interview, you must be able to move the person in
the direction you wish to take. Humble continuity of process and
thought should be your goal.
Anyone involved in spiritual direction should give the skill of
interviewing pride of place in his training. Interviewing is one
of the major tools that a director should have in his repertoire.
These are a few techniques essential to interviewing in spiritual
direction. However, a spiritual director is obligated to incorporate
theological themes and issues of meaning and purpose as they
relate to God consciousnessillustrated in the following chapter.
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You could make an argument that these particular couples have
problems with stewardship of Gods resources. The place to
begin addressing this kind of issue is with a person skilled infinances, such as a financial planner or a CPA. Once this
presenting problem is addressed, you can proceed to guide and
direct people in their relationship with God, but not before.
Another item people bring with them when they seek God is an
expectation about what this seeking process should be like. For
instance, many people seeking God think that undergoing this
process should be easy. Nothing can be further from the truth.
Seeking God requires difficult, disciplined work. Even though we
are created by God with a natural orientation or predisposition
toward seeking God, we dare not assume this is an easy thing to
do. We are also created with other natural God-given
dispositions. For instance, our God-given disposition for
satisfaction can very easily get distorted by notions that
suggest complete and real satisfaction comes from the
accumulation of material goods and not from relationship with
God. When this happens, we find ourselves seeking somethingfalse, or not credible. Credibility needs to be understood as the
ability to deliver on the claims inherent in the expectation. The
credibility of the claim that complete satisfaction will come from
accumulation of possessions is false because material
possessions cannot meet this claim. We know that total and
complete satisfaction comes from relationship with God and
consciousness of that relationship.
Seeking God is a discipline that should be exercised daily. There
is a structure or method with which one should comply in order
to activate and cultivate God consciousness. All forms of
spirituality have particular methods or manners of seeking God
that are part of their tradition. In most cases, the holy elders of
particular traditions have devised methods of seeking and any
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spiritual director will have some sort of access to them. For
instance, prayer, fasting, devotional service, and sacred reading
are a few of the methods that are cross-cultural and spiritual. Isuggest that seekers go to designated holy people in their own
tradition before they try to seek God in other traditions. If one
has no prior spiritual tradition to which he may refer, then be
open and let God help you guide him toward one.
For example, I visited a spiritual guide in a tradition other than
my own who told me to seek God through my own tradition. This
person did not think it was necessary for me to hop into another
tradition because of superficial reasons and encouraged me to
return to my own tradition. It was helpful advice. Simply because
I was uncomfortable in my particular tradition was not
necessarily grounds for me to transfer to another tradition.
Grounds for transferring to another tradition should include more
than comfort level. It should be based upon ideological and
theological agreement. For instance, if you are uncomfortable
with some spiritual exercise, such as devotional service, dont
immediately transfer to another, but try and stay within yourtradition and work out your comfort level.
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Chapter 7:
Obstacles
When some embark on a spiritual journey they expect the path
to be free of obstacles, only to find that they are constantly
confronted with distractions and other road blocks. This is
because obstacles are an integral part of a spiritual journey.
Whenever someone feels called to go on a spiritual journey
either in an external way such as a pilgrimage, or an internal
one such as the inward or interior journey of the self as a means
to finding Godhe will be confronted with distractions. These
distractions occur mostly in the mind. How we think and what
we think (process as well as content) are central driving forcesbehind motivation, desire, and intentions. It is quite common
to experience what I refer to as intrusive thoughts of a bizarre
nature, that will try to discourage and suggest that the devotee is
on the wrong road. These thoughts may encourage participation
in behaviors that are designed to deter the seeker from the goal
of God consciousness. Here is an example:
Richard is a man in his early fifties with whom I have been
working over the last year. He is a world-class artist and
one of the most talented people I know. Yet Richard is tortured
by obsessive thoughts that continually tell him he is unworthy.
Thoughts such as, What is wrong with me? Why did I not do a
better job? Will God save me? Does God even care about me? I
do not deserve to be in relationship with God because I am too
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tainted, filled with sin, and impure. God surely will not help me!
When these thoughts or similar ones appear, instead of seeing
these as designed by an anti-spiritual forceperhapsmaterialism, consumerism, or egoism to deter him from God
Richard focuses on these thoughts as directed by God. Once
this happens, his thought processes begin to snowball until they
are out of control and he is living in fear, separated from God.
It is important for any spiritual director to be able to identify
intrusive thoughts and guide the person through them rather
than helping to exacerbate thoughts by focusing on them. How
to identify and help people work through intrusive thoughts is
an ongoing process in spiritual direction. Negative thoughts and
negative thinking about ones self, about others, and about God,
if left unattended, take on a life of their own and people spend
their time focusing on excessive faultfinding rather than praise of
God. The job of any spiritual director is to help people transform
their thinking when it goes astraywhich it does and will do
oftenfrom selfish matters to matters of God.
A method I have found of great help in spiritual direction is
mantra meditationa form of thinking where one repeats a word
or a phrase over and over in his mind. This method is prescribed
to help people liberate their minds from habitual cognitive sets of
a material or selfish nature that deter focus from God. The
repetition of the mantra, which incidentally should be of a
spiritual nature and associated with some kind of God
consciousness, is designed to interrupt tangential and intrusive
thoughts and refocus the person on awareness of God. It does
this as one listens to the transcendental sound of the words and
their vibration, in this case, the chanting of the holy name of
God. This listening and feeling process guides our senses and
our minds to realization of God consciousness.
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Chanting the holy name of GodAllah, Krsna, Jehovah, Lord,
Jesusputs a person in the presence of God. In the spiritual
life no distinction should be made between the name of Godand the reality of God. They are one and the same. This can be
a very difficult concept for people to accept, especially in the
western world, where we have made an issue over this exact
distinction. The result of this thinking is that the name and the
reality of the name are two separate entities. This kind of
bifurcation in western thinking is a natural obstacle to God
consciousness. It does not allow us the freedom to be able to
listen for the transcendental sound of the reality of God. It also
does not allow us to feel Gods presence in our lives or at work
in the world. When this happens, it is a natural tendency for
people to turn their focus on themselves instead of toward God.
Spiritual directors should be able to realize when invasions of
thought or action are confronting the seekers. One of the best
ways to do this is to help folks examine their thoughts, feelings,
and behaviors as they relate to God. Spiritual mantra meditation
and chanting the holy name of God are the two most effectivemethods one can use and rely upon to bring the seekers focus
back to God.
Look for what exists
Know your expectations of spiritual
process
Establish daily discipline Anticipate obstacles
Overcome obstacles
reminders for seeking God
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Chapter 8:
Relationship and
Spirituality
Spirituality and the practice of it implies relationship. Awareness
of God comes through conscious contact. This chapter
addresses relationships in general and how our understanding
and practice of God consciousness is affected by our
understanding of relationship.
Individuals bring with them into every relationship what I call,
The Three Big Is. All people have belief systems that consist of
Individual issues, Interactional issues and Intergenerational
issues. Individual issues make up our intrapsychic dynamicsour drives, needs, desires. Interactional issues make up
relational dynamicshow we relate to others. Intergenerational
issues make up and refer to our family of origin dynamicssuch
as inherited legacies, invisible loyalties, and scripts. In any
relationship, it is important to discern which particular issue the
individual is stressing at the time. For instance, the individual
issue is addressed by asking the questions, What is going on
inside right now? How do you feel? What are you thinking? What
is the reason for your particular response? The way to address
an interactional issue is by asking the questions, How do you
participate in that? What role do you play? How do you benefit
from relating in this particular way? The way to address
intergenerational issues is to ask the question, How did you
learn to respond this way? or, How did you come to think and
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act like that? to address the behavior or current cognitive pro-
cess being mentioned.
Asking these questions will help give you insight into a persons
understanding of relationships. However, these issues all
overlap. You should be able to shift and sort as they arise.
Here is an example of an interchange between a Seeker (S) and
a Spiritual Director (SD):
S: My boss at work told me she want to talk with me on Thursday
and I am scared to death.
SD: Did she say what the topic to be discussed was to be?
S: No, she just said she wants to meet with me and I just know itis not about something good.
SD: How do you know that?
S: I dont know. I just know it.
SD: Really, how did you learn to think like this?
S: Well, I guess from my mother. She always looked on the
negative side. And especially did not trust people in authority.
SD: Oh. So you learned this from your mother.
S: Yeah, I guess I did.
SD: If that is the case, whose issue is this, this negative thinking?
Your mothers or yours?
S: That is a good question. Right now I feel as if it is mine but I
am beginning to think maybe I just inherited this way of thinking.
Maybe for that matter it isnt mine at all. Maybe I am just working
out my Moms issues. Can you imagine that?
individual
interactional
intergenerational
big issues in relationships
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Note that from the beginning the SD asks an intergenerational
question, How did you learn to think like that? This question is
intended to offer insight into family of origin issues. Byasking this question, the SD will become aware of a
developmental history this person has learned to establish in
terms of relationships. The line between psychotherapy and
spiritual direction is drawn by how you address this issue. A
spiritual director must be able to direct the person into talking
about their relationship with God. The psychotherapist does not
necessarily have to do this. If this seeker has learned to think
negatively about issues, especially relationships with authorities,
what kind of bearing does this type of thinking have in the
persons relationship with God (the ultimate authority) and their
conscious contact with God? It is the job of the spiritual director
to help the person answer these questions and help them adjust
their understanding in order to facilitate God consciousness.
Here is another example:
S: I am so pissed at my wife. She never, I mean never, wants to
spend time, in intimate ways, affectionately, with me. I am reallygetting tired of this.
SD: Can you think of any reason or give any explanation why this
is so?
S: No. Not really. Other than she no longer cares about me.
SD: What do you mean? That she no longer cares for you?
S: You know, she just doesnt have time for me. I mean, I work 50
hours a week, take time to work-out at the gym, serve on some
community boards, need to go fishing with my Dad and brother.
And read a lot of books when I am home.
SD: Let me ask. Can you think of any way in which you are
participating in your wife not spending time with you?
S: No. (pause) Well, I guess I am pretty busy. Do you think my
work and other activities play a role in my wife not wanting to
spend time with me?
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SD: Perhaps; perhaps not. Tell me what you think.
In this exchange, notice how the SD begins to call forth aninteractional issue. This happens when the SD asks the S Can
you think of any way in which you are participating in (her) not
spending time with you? S, at first, seems oblivious to the role
he is playing in his relationship with his wife. A relationship, by
definition, implies mutual reciprocitya give-and-take. The job
of the SD is to help the S get some insight into the particular role
he is playing in the marital relationship and to ask how this
pattern is manifested in his relationship with God. People
develop particular ways of interacting with God. Some, like the
person above, are unable at first to realize their role in the
exchange. It is important to point this out, especially when
people claim that God and consciousness of God are missing
from their lives.
A final example:
SD: Alice what brings you to see me today?
S: I dont know why, but I cry a lot and I do not know why. Iguess I am scared or sad about something?
SD: Can you describe what being scared and sad is like?
S: I do not know if I can. I just wake up in the morning with this
horrible feeling in my stomach. It is like I am afraid to get out of
bed. And I do not know why. I have a fine job and am involved in
a relationship with a wonderful man. Oh, I just dont know.
SD: Alice I know you are unclear about what is going on inside
you but how about if you just make a guess at what is driving you
to feel and act the way you are?
S: Well. OK. If I were to guess
In this interchange the SD addresses an individual intrapsychic
issue by asking S directly, Can you describe what being scared
or sad is like? The SD addresses Ss answer to this question by
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Chapter 9:
Boundaries in the
Pastoral Role
This chapter addresses spirituality from a pastoral relationship. A
pastor is a person who is designated by their spiritual
community to exercise oversight over the care and cure of souls.
As such, a pastor is required to perform many rolespreacher,
teacher, worship leader, counselor, administrator, manager,
conflict-resolver, and more. Because of the permeable
boundaries that are endemic to the structure of a spiritual
communitys life, a major issue facing individuals in the pastoral
role is the appropriate delineation and use of corporate and
personal boundaries. Simple awareness of the need to developand establish boundaries in the pastoral role is inadequate. In
addition to awareness, a theological framework is needed to
enable pastors to identify and establish appropriate boundaries
to clarify their ministry and promote life in God consciousness.
A good place to start is the sacred text or texts your particular
tradition has designated as the canonical normor the
authoritative standard and measurefor faith and life in God.
These texts should be considered revelatory agents of God
someone or something that discloses something to us. In the
case of sacred texts, they were created and inspired by God to
disclose and help us experience God. When reading a text, it
is important to remember this. Pay attention to the words and
listen for the transcendental sound behind the words.
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In so far as we humans were created by a God, it is safe to
assume that we were created with boundaries and limits. We are
the creaturesnot the creator. However, what happens far toooften is we assume an unbounded life: alienation from God, each
other, and our selves. In the denial of our creaturely existence we
are led to believe that we are capable of living our lives without
limits. To live a life without limits is to claim to be God and we
need to be ever so careful that we catch ourselves when this
happens.
A commitment to God consciousness clarifies and reestablishes
a boundaried life. For at its core, God consciousness is
dependence on God and not on self. To be a part of creation is
to be a person who is willing to recognize and live within
boundaries and limits. It also implies focused roles based on
gifts and devotion-centered living which enables healthier life in
God consciousness.
A pastor, by definition, is a leader who tends the flock. Pastors
of local communities, like shepherds, are faced with decisionsinvolved in the exercise of leadership. How a pastor understands
leadership will determine not only how he acts but will also set
the tone for the entire community. For instance, if ones sees
leadership in terms of hierarchical domination then one will
assume an autocratic style and life in the community of the
faithful will reflect that authoritative style. However, if one
assumes leadership in terms of servant-hood, this too will play a
significant role in the life of the spiritual community.
Understanding leadership styles, personal as well as inherited, is
indispensable in boundary setting.
A spiritual congregation is a community of faithful gathered in
the name of God consciousness. As such, the community
carries with it an obligation for worship and service to God.
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The primary place to begin establishing boundaries is in the
liturgical life of the community. It is essential for people to
understand who they are (their identity) and why God calledthem into existence (their purpose). The Latin sayinglex
supplicandi legem statuat crenditranslates to the law of
worship constitutes or founds the law of belief. The place for
any spiritual activity, especially boundary making, begins with
and is founded on the worship, prayer, and devotional service of
a community. After a sound boundary for worship, prayer, and
service is established, a pastor can turn to the administrative
and other affairs of the community, such as individual spiritual
needs. Too often pastors filled with insights from management
and behavioral sciences make decisions that replace prayer and
devotional service with a desk. They turn their sacred calling
from being a servant of God into being efficiency experts who
are up on the most recent How to Manage People theories.
Pastors should not be in the business of merely managing
people. Pastors exist to guide and lead souls to God. Prayer,
worship, and devotional service are the primary vehicles by
which leading toward God takes place.
The claim that prayer, devotional service, and worship are the
primary vehicles that lead souls to God is made with the
understanding that these acts are parts of the revelatory
process between God and humanity. It is helpful to view
Revelation, Gods self-disclosure, in terms of the basic
communication modelsender, message, receiver connected
by feedback loopsthat enables the communication process to
function. A feedback loop plays the clarifying role within
communicationa check and balance in the give and take
between individuals. Prayer and worship are feedback loops and
the mechanisms humans use to receive Gods message. They
are of primary importance in establishing a relationship with
God. Prayer and devotional worship are the heart and soul of
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God consciousness. Spiritual identity is formed by the
community who gather to worship God and participate in
devotional service. The pastors first responsibility is that theworship, prayer, and service life of the community are sound and
in-line with their sacred tradition. The pastor should also be
diligent in his own practice and continue to develop his own
relationship with God.
The formation of a community of God-conscious people involves
more than liturgical worship. It includes having a vision that will
deepen the faith and character of the community in the everyday
issues of life. The best way to do this is to establish a central,
ethical boundary in light of your tradition. People may negotiate
the content of particular boundaries (whether or not it is
appropriate to wear red hats in worship, or the appropriate
expression of sexuality, etc.). Whatever the issue, the need for
general, ethical boundaries is not negotiable. If these
boundaries are not in place, the spiritual community will be
swallowed up into a sea of ideological pluralism where decisions
about life will be made merely according to matters of taste.
communication model
Sender = God
Message = Scripture, Tradition, Reason
Receiver = Us
Feedback Loops = Prayer & Worship
receiver
feedback loops
feedback loops
messagesender
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Realize the pastoral role is
multi-factorial
Appeal to sacred text
Recognize your limitations
Understand your leadership style
Focus on liturgy
Know the communication modelof revelation
Establish a vision
Remember God/human relationship
ways to create boundaries
As people of God we must remember that we are defined by our
relationship with God consciousness. Our entire existence finds
its meaning and purpose through and because of ourrelationship with God and the exercise of God consciousness.
Being created by God implies dependency and boundaries.
We must see ourselves as finite beings who err, surrender all
thoughts of omnipotence, and be transformed by presenting
ourselves as sacrificial servants to the Lord. Practically speaking,
pastors must define themselves and promote God
consciousness by embracing their limitedness. Being creatures
of God, we are all given the freedom for a limited existence
that will set us free for God consciousness. Awareness of God
comes through denial of self and selfish interest. The task of
the pastorthe director of soulsis to help people enter into
the limitedness of our existence so God consciousness can be
revealed. Boundary-making is one practical way that spiritual
leaders can lift up the reality of God and point individuals
beyond themselves to God consciousness.
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Chapter 10:
Continuity of Care
We have all heard stories about people who go on spiritual
retreats and have mountain-top experiences only to return to
everyday living unable to find a similar experience in the
mundane world. By mountain-top I am referring to a peak
experience when a person experiences complete and total
meaning and purpose in his life. This type of experience or
encounter can only come through God and consciousness of
God. A critical issue in any form of spiritual direction is how to
help a person transfer their mountain-top encounters with God
to all their worldly affairs.
It has been revealed to me over the years that nothing will
ensure conscious contact with God more than devotional
community service. Devotions are actionsverbal or non-
verbal, physical or non-physicalthat are offered on behalf of
and in the name of God. While a community is a group of people
who gather together, a devotional community is a group of
people who gather in the name of God. The purpose of a
devotional community is to acknowledge and give thanks to God
(worship) and to offer services or work on behalf of God (work).
Worship and work are two necessary foundational activities of
continuity of care. Worship is a celebratory act offered to God in
thanksgiving (eucharistia) for life and all the wonderful gifts God
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has given to us and to the entire creation. Worship is something
that takes place in a community. With the exception of people
called to the eremitical (hermit) life whose God consciousnessis tuned to levels beyond most human comprehension, humans
are social beings who need to exist in community. There is an
old saying that claims, If you look like a duck, and you act like
a duck, and you think like a duck, and eat like a duck, and walk
like a duck, and hang out with ducks, there is a good chance
that you are a duck. In order for continuity of care to happen for
people seeking God, it is vital that they participate, but not
suffocate themselves, in a group of devotees who come together
to praise God, support one another, and practice God
consciousness.
Part of learning the Art of Invisibilism and being an invisibilist
entails avoiding the creation of an unhealthy dependency
between yourself and other individuals. An unhealthy
dependency simply means one that does not allow fullness of
meaning and purposeconsciousness of Godto occur. In so
far as the role of a spiritual director is to guide people toconsciousness of God, you will not be effective in doing so if you
help the person coming to you for care and direction by
establishing a rigid attachment between the two of you. True
spiritual direction and formation should happen in community. A
community of people offers and provides more opportunities and
insights into God than any place else. A person may need the
security and trust that is established through personal
relationships with another, however, the purpose of spiritual
direction is to get self out of the way and show people the
reality of God. This will not occur if the director refuses to let go
and let God. Part of this letting go involves direction and
encouragement toward a community where the fullness of
God is more easily accessible. Community worship, praise and
thanksgiving to God will enable this to happen.
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Work is the other foundational activity necessary for the
cultivation of God consciousness. Work is an effort that is
exercised by one. Another way to understand this is to think ofwork as service. Work as service is an obligatory efforta duty,
freely offeredfor the edification of a particular purpose. In the
spiritual life, that purpose is God consciousness. Devotional
community service is effort that is offered to people in
community on behalf of God. It is a pure duty of love. It is
performed without any strings attached. Devotional community
service does not look for personal rewards, personal recognition,
or the reaping of fruits. It is performed out of love for God. While
this may sound easy, it is very difficult to do given our nature and
the various ego states we create. It requires diligent practice not
to become too attached to the consequences of a devotees life.
I am not suggesting that the relationship between a director and
devotee should be impersonal, but it needs to be objective in
the sense that it is not about you, but about the devotee and his
relationship with God that happens through devotional
community service. It is easy to trick ourselves into thinking that
we are responsible for anothers actions. When we do this, werefuse to allow for the operation of the grace and mercy of God.
One safeguard a spiritual director can use to prevent ego states
from taking over is to practice blessing. A blessing is an act that
acknowledges the existence of Gods mercy and grace and is
bestowed upon others with the expectation for the continuation
and protection of another (those upon whom it is conferred) by
God. It is a way of extending or offering assurance of the
existence of God consciousness. Blessing begins by realizing
that all of creationplants, things, animals and all that exist
exist because of the mercy and love of all. A place for you to
begin to cultivate this gift is by offering thanksgiving to God for
the gift of life in general and your individual life in particular. As
you do this you will become more sensitized to the existence of
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spiritual life, God consciousness. No one can spend too much
time giving thanks to God. It does not require great academic
credentials or flashy work resumes. A look at children duringworship and devotion confirms this. Giving thanks to God simply
entails recognition and gratitude. Gratitude refers to
appreciation, appreciation entails humility, humility assesses our
rank in the universe. We are creatures dependent upon God.
May God give you the grace to be humble so that you can
continue to care for others.
Translation
Devotional service
Worship
Avoid unhealthy dependencies
Encourage community involvement
Support work
Practice blessing
needs in continuity of care
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Chapter 11:
Spirituality
and Death
No discussion about spirituality would be complete without
considering death. One thing we all know for sure is that
everyone is going to die. As Jim Morrison of the music group
The Doors reminded us, No one gets out of here alive! But
what is death? Furthermore, what does out of here mean?
Death is an event whereby change occurs and not only occurs
but also is, in and of itself, change. But, change from what to
what? The answer to this question depends upon the worldview
an individual has embraced. Ones concept of death depends
upon the foundational metaphysical position a person holds.Metaphysics is an area of philosophy that asks the question,
What is there? There are two basic positions people take in
terms of metaphysical understandings: physicalism and dualism.
A physicalist is a person who believes that everything is a
physical substance or a derivative of a physical substance. A
substance is something that has properties, is not itself a
property, and maintains numerical identity over time regardless
of temporal issues such as change. A physical substance is a
spatial entity that has extension (volume) as its primary attribute.
A dualist, on the other hand, believes that there are two kinds
of substances: mental/spiritual and physical. (Note: I am using
the word spiritual interchangeably with mental. I am doing this
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because the point being made is that there is an independent
substance besides physical. A person can believe in the
existence of the mental without believing in the existence ofGod.) A spiritual substance is a non-spatial entity that has
consciousness or some other non-physical property as its main
attribute. What one calls this may vary. Since I am writing as a
theistone who believes in the existence of God, a non-physical
entity itselfI prefer to refer to the existence of non-physical
objects as spiritual ones. Therefore, a substance dualist
believes that the world is made up of spiritual and physical
objects that, while independent of each other, do interact.
A physicalist/materialist thinks of death in terms of a physical
substancein the case of humans, the physical body. A
substance dualist thinks of death in terms of the physical body
but also takes into consideration the existence of a spiritual
bodywhat is commonly referred to as the soul. Devotees of
God consciousness and most theists distinguish between what
is known as a genetically encoded corpsethe physical human
bodyand the soulthe non-physical human body. At the timeof the death, the genetically encoded corpse shuts down and
over time disintegrates or decomposes. However, at the time
of death, the non-physical body changes by shifting to another
realm of existence. In this sense, life is changed but not ended.
Volumes of work have been written on how this life change
occurs. Each religious tradition holds specific beliefs about
death, but the fact that life changes is not negotiable.
In relationship to spirituality, death signifies a change in life; the
life of the physical body and the life of the non-physical body.
A natural question that arises is, Does one have to wait until
death before one can experience the non
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