5 very good reasons to punch a dolphin in the mouth (and other useful guides)

5VeryGoodReasonstoPunchaDolphinintheMouthCopyright©2011byMatthewInman.Allrightsreserved.Nopartofthisbookmaybeusedorreproducedinanymannerwhatsoeverwithoutwrittenpermissionexceptinthecaseofreprintsinthecontextof reviews. For information, write Andrews McMeel Publishing, LLC, an Andrews McMeelUniversalcompany,1130WalnutStreet,KansasCity,Missouri64106.

E-ISBN:978-1-44940675-2

LibraryofCongressControlNumber:2010930546

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INTRODUCTION

Up until the spring of 2009, I created websites for a living. I startedwhen I was a teenager and endured fourteen years of soul-suckingmeetings,hotpinklogos,andclientswhodemandedthattheircorporatewebsiteplaymusicanddisplayanimatedphotosoftheirpet.Fedupandlooking for a career change, I quit my job as a designer and starteddrawingcomics.TheOatmealwasbornandsubsequentlymadeitshomeathttp://theoatmeal.com.

Afterlaunchingthewebsite,peoplelikeditenoughthatIeventuallygotto turn it into a book. 5 Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in theMouth is thatbook,anditcontainsall thecomics Icreated intheyearafter I quitmy job to become a comic artist. It also has an additionaltwenty-sevennever-before-seencomicsthataren’tavailableontheweb.

Thisbookcontainsgorillas,prostitution,poopjokes,smallquantitiesofchainsaws, large quantities of man nipples, and one drug-addicteddinosaur.Itspurposeistoentertain,inform,andoffend.

Ihopeyoulikeit.Ifnot,Ihopealargemeteorfindsitswayacrosstheuniverseandsmashesdirectlyintoyourcrotchwhileyousleep.

Hugsandkisses!—TheOatmeal