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Making earth little softer
Earthsoft Foundation of GuidanceEdge-Aggressive-Reliable-Trust-Honesty-Soft-Obedient-Fun-Transparent
Making earth little softer
Earthsoft Foundation of Guidance (EFG) has uploaded following presentations at http://myefg.in/downloads.aspxBe mentor use your education, knowledge & experience to contribute for a social cause & do conduct free training seeking help of existing platforms. Kindly share with your friends•Motivation for higher study, Planning for study, Education guidance, Career guidance, Career available after SSC & HSC•Personality development – 3 files •How to prepare resume, Tips to attend interview successfully•Religion related –To understand basic religion, Do & Don’t tips•Health related - Be vegetarian, Be healthy, Manage health•Corporate - Project management, Assertiveness, Ownership, Effective communication, Leadership, Be entrepreneur•Finance - To avoid speculation in stock market•Social - Women empowerment, Choosing life partner, conflict resolution, stop ragging, stop alcohol, snakebite treatment
About us
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• Value of a person• Culture & its elements
• Religion• Food habits
• Women abuse• Marriage related issues• Expensive marriage• Inter-caste marriage• Disengagement• Divorce• Single family• Successful marriage• Religion & rites• Commitment & Oath
Index
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The value of person depends upon• Skills attained• Knowledge acquired• Money earned• Assets build• Good deeds executed• Relations maintained• Love spread• Culture demonstrated and • Behavior exhibited!
Value of a person
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• The word culture, meaning "to cultivate“. • Culture: The complex whole which includes
mind, style, norms of behavior, behavior, codes of manners, language, religion, dress, rituals, way of business, systems of belief, knowledge, belief, attitude, art, morals, law, custom, and any other capabilities and habits acquired by a member of society
• Culture - "the way of life for an entire society.“
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• A common way of understanding culture is to see it as consisting of four elements that are "passed on from generation to generation by learning alone“
• Values guide about what in life seems important• Norms consist of expectations of how people will behave in various situations. • Institutions are the structures of a society within which values and norms are
transmitted. • Artifacts—things, or aspects of material culture derive from a culture's values
and norms
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What is Culture?What is Culture?
• Culture is the way of life of a group of people.
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ElementsElements
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ElementsElements
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ReligionReligion
- a system of beliefs that goes beyond human powers
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Food habitsVegetarian•Rice, Wheat, Cereals•Vegetables & curryNon-Vegetarian•Seafood•Meat-however, cows are considered sacred by Hindus, many of whom are vegetarian
Other•Masala-spices•Tea-common drink
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Women abuse•Observations – Ridiculously higher rise in women abuse & rape at home, road, travel & work places
•Impact –•Deterioration of dignity of society and nation•Miserable lives of victim & family members after the event
•Painful, unstable and panic lives of the victim and family members
•Disturbed social environment
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Women abuse – Root causes•Pathetic & poor economical situation•Men have earned huge money due to exponential economical growth, got them muscle power, ego & arrogance
•Higher education leads to career orientation leads to relatively higher exposure & freedom
•Tendency of showiness, dressing style exposing women body, has increased
•Negative & sexy image of women as an object projected on media
•Ignorance of parents•Lack of education & guidance to children
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Women abuse•Immediate & essential actions
•Stringent laws & strict Implementation•Quick justice•Stricter censorship, to be extraordinary cautious about image being projected
•Social pressure, better dressing style•Spreading education, awareness, spirituality & religious values, enhancing political will
•Legal & protected prostitution•Ownership & responsibilities of security•Awareness of abilities & ambitions•Use of technologies for alerts & avoiding event
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Women abuse - Dressing
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Women abuse – better dressing
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Marriage related issues
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Expensive marriage•Observations – Expenses during marriages have gone up multifold due to lavish celebrations
•Also huge dowry being demanded•Harassment to bride if expectations of huge dowry, lavish marriage & others are not fulfilled
•Impact –•Middle class & poor families face embarrassment & exploitation
•Compatible match is often missed•Ego within family members due to richness•Poor people think girl child as a curse
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Expensive marriage•Root causes –
•Simple living-High thinking concept demolishing quickly
•People have earned huge money due to exponential economical growth, thus ego & arrogance have increased multifold
•Expensive marriage mean status symbol•Change from saving to purchasing economy•Tendency of showiness, greed for name, fame & recognition has increased
•Huge capital investments so expectation of settlement (flat, car, etc)
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Expensive marriageImmediate & essential steps
•Educate - Simple celebration movement•Encourage simplicity however everlasting marriages
•Depict the importance of savings•Monks & leaders to guide society effectively•Leaders to set the examples of simplicity
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Expensive & simple marriage
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Inter-caste marriageObservations – Extremely serious trend about rise in inter-caste marriages is observedImpact – •Change of culture for current and next generation, mainly religion from Jain to non-Jain, & food habit of Vegetarian to non-vegetarian•Less probability of successful & sustainable marriage•Failed marriage results in
•Widely disturbed family stability & happiness•No ownership of children
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Inter-caste marriage – Root causes•Higher education leading to career orientation & exposure to industry, closeness with gender of opposite sex, working & on road at late hours
•Self independent, freedom of thoughts & act•Lack of understanding of values & rites of Jainism
•Temptation, curiosity, attraction & anticipation of better culture
•Lack of deep thinking about repercussion due to change of culture
•Wanting to settle in metros•Excessive mobile use, late arrival at home, etc
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Inter-caste marriageImmediate & essential steps• Aggressive movement through education • Serious impacts of cross culture on current &
future generations•Mainly on religious matters, food habits, upbringing, values & rites and living style
•Lack of participation in various social functions due to heterogeneous cross relationships
• Improved upbringing, values, religious & spiritual rites at home
• Convincing equally happy life at Non-Metro cities
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DisengagementObservations• Steeper rise in disengagement after
engagement ceremony, prior to marriageImpact• Delay of marriages of both bride & groom later• Social insult even if no mistake• Disturbed families• One suffers at no mistake of other
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Disengagement – Root causesLack of following between parents and children •Affirmative & assertive effective communication•Trust & transparencyMature way of communication, unreasonable demand and mishandling of the situationExposure of true however hidden situationUndermined or over spelled expectationsLack of early day phenomenon of references, ownership & trustPressure & hurry while finalising the marriageImmature communication between bride & groomUpbringing, cultivating values, rites & spirituality
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Disengagement
Immediate & essential stepsEncourage dialogue between parent & children• Expectations about life partner & consensus• Explanation & agreement over methodology• Discussions over Dos and Don’ts• Sharing good & bad case studies
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• Divorce or the dissolution of marriage is the final termination of a marital union, canceling the legal duties and responsibilities of marriage and dissolving the bonds of matrimony between the partners!
• As of 2011, divorce rate in India is 1.01 for every thousand marriages annually, is too high
Divorce
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Divorce
Observations• Day by day ridiculously increasing higher rate of
divorceImpact• Disturbed families• Disturbed lives of husband, wife, and children• Complex social and economical matters
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Divorce – Root causes•Non-compatibility•Quick and/or forced decision during marriage•Era of higher education, career orientation, economic development, independence and women empowerment
•Mismatch of priorities, bringing up the children, execution methodologies
•Too much parental interference•Lack of or reducing social pressure•Lack of understanding, Methodologies differs•Missing on Loving, Caring, Sharing, Giving•Different values •Own world – Ignoring & not sharing time•Lack of approval from family (for love marriage)•Above results in Disregard & Distrust, cycle continues
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Divorce
Immediate & essential steps• Counseling centers• Education & awareness• Religious & spiritual spreading, increasing
patience• Training to weight results of fight & compromise • Sharing case study of sacrifices, respect,
compromises, and benefits of successful marriages
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ReasonsCategory Reason
Social Dowry harassment, Exploitation, Conservative approachUnbearable mental and physical tortureAcceptance of divorced daughters, Change of viewsDINKS (double income no kids) couples Downfall of Joint family systemMisunderstanding of Woman empowerment & equality
Personality Non compatibility in social, economical, intellect statusLack of adaptability, lack of patienceDomination, egoistic nature, Listen – serve to me attitudeExtramarital affairs, Western culture influence
Finance Ability to be on own, Financial freedomGrowth of individualism, High salariesDisputes over managing finance, I can do it better attitude
Professional Work-life imbalance, Professional rivalry
Behavior Lack of ethics and morals, Fashionable life styleLack of affection, Ignorance, Insulting, Disrespect
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• We hide the things……• We ignore……• We mislabel……• We agree on irrelevant matters…• We believe our loved one will change after
marriage
Before marriage
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• “You are just made for me”• “You aren’t the man/woman I married”.
• “I want you to be my partner for all the births”• “You seem different now”.
• “I am so lucky, feel like in heaven”• “It isn’t the same as when we were dating”.
• “I trust you”• “You cheated me”.
Voice before & after
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• Intellectual gap• Physical, age-wise, health related, sex related• Comfort, Fun, Materialistic, Financial instability• Spiritual differences• Social life style• Ego• Missing on expectations• Ability not to accommodate varieties• Methodology differs slightly• Twisted & distorted facts or inputs• Wrong impression / prejudice• Expectations to be ideal!
Incompatibility & reasons
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To avoid • Unhealthy life, psychological madness• Loneliness & unhappiness• Social insult over ability to manage• Lesser combined income• Risk of suicide for both & children• Shorter life expectancies
• For children• Suffer physical health• Risk of school failure• Psychological distress & mental illness• Miss on guidance & developing
Avoid divorce
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• Think strategically about solution• Communicate & have a dialogue• Discuss, don’t quarrel• Clarify & Apologize if mistaken• Start clean slate & fresh• Enhance understanding• Set the guidelines if needed• Understand before being understood• Avoid to be misunderstood, make a point• Do not involve many• Acknowledge and respect individual identity• Avoid compromised & confused situation
First hand solution
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• Be “REAL” & realistic• Plan for outing• Enhance listening abilities• Express issues, wish and needs honestly• Understand viewpoints sincerely• Respect one another as peers & friends• Constructive resolutions build trust, follow those• Maintain a diary jotting down own mistakes
First hand solution
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• Unable to articulate all issues at one time• Unable to convince & conclude who is wrong?• Unable to address ego• Inability to stand on own• Social pressure• Deep responsibility of children & serious views
not to ruin their lives• Unclear answer to What next?• If views till in favor to continue, not to cut thread• Compromising nature & patience• Hope is the strategy!!! (cannot be!)
Fight but marriage under hold
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• Never try to straighten dog’s tail• Do not hit head against wall• Weight the event…would you remember after
what duration? A day..a week..a month or never• Know.....who matters• Acknowledgement is 1st step of improvement• Keep cool & calm, grow and behave!
Tips
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• Lifetime to know each other• People do not really know each other well• Continue applying corrections & keep aligning• Be flexible – unforeseen events will happen.• Be prepared for change – people change,
situations shift, relationships take on new dimensions, Couples can cope & adapt
• Have a positive attitude.• Express positive comments most of the time.• Criticism about inadequacies eliminates
emotional space.
Accept totally
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• Commitment as a symbol, not as a contract• Equal focus on win-win, always!• Trust which offers closeness, fluent
communication & synergistic relationship• Mutual goals & objectives can be achieved with
deep support• Continuous improve• Timely communication & responsiveness• Involvement of partners with each other , trust &
respect for each other, must be magnified
Key element
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Single familyObservations• Most of the couples want to stay separate to
their parents• Bride keeps enquiring “how many dust bins do
you have at home?” (referring to old people)Impact• Next generation missing great upbringing by
grand parents, depicting values, spiritual & religious rites, and inculcating regular study
• Learning of tasty recipes from mother-in-law and kitchen related activities
• Helpless & unattended parents
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Single family
Root causes• Selfishness of current generation• Interference by parents, not guidance• Non-supporting in-laws• Ego & non-understanding• Generation gap• Phobia of privacy• Economical independent parents
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Single family
Immediate & essential stepsSpreading awareness of benefits of joint families• Transfer of knowledge & experience• Availability of guidance and second view• Upbringing of next generation• Deep love, affection bring happiness, cultured
environment of respect and dignity• Availability of expertise• Being social, not lonely
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Partnering
Environment Culture
Way of lifeMethodologies
PeopleFamilies
Partnering
LovingLovingCaringCaring
SharingSharing
TrustTrust
Transparency
Transparency
RespectRespect
HonestyHonesty DignityDignity
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Successful marriage
Reasons for successful marriage• Common skills• Good emotional & physical health• High self esteem• High education level• High social status• Pressure from society & kids
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• Long term relationship & stability• Better ritual culture due to common & deep
understanding, supportive for next generation• Improved family relationship• Increased ownership, higher commitments• Feeling of proud of relationship• Feel of satisfaction & delight from peaceful &
happy environment• Financially wealthy & successful• Active participation for function & celebration• Increased morale & no conflicts
Gain from successful marriage
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• Trust, Communication, Intimacy, Sense of humor, Sharing tasks, a sense of belonging
• Daily exchanges (meal, shared activity, hug, call, touch, notes, etc)
• Sharing common goals and interests• Giving space to grow without feeling insecure• Assurances of commitment• Concern and careIf these qualities are missing, the relationship will
erode as resentment withdrawal, abuse, neglect, and dishonesty, replacing by pain!
What keeps it ON
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• Bargaining – compromise with respect & dignity (deal for both, remember marriage is not a deal!)
• Agreement as a gift (without resentment)• Coexistence – Agree (to disagree & live with it)The object of marriage = peaceful coexistence• Be totally honest and kind at the same time.• Control negative destructive impulses• Control your anger• Express your deepest fears, hopes, and
emotions and everyday thoughts• Giving, sharing, loving & caring
Happily married life
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Observations• Most of the families are unhappy • Main reason being dispute, disagreements and
conflict between parent-children, husband-wife and in-laws
• Issues are social, economical, generation gap, way of living life, freedom, privacy, etc
Impacts• Unhappy life of individuals and thus of society• Poor upbringing of next generation• Restlessness in society• Compromises in living style
Unhappily families
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Root causes• Lack of social, spirituality & religious rites &
upbringing, lack of patience & society pressure• Enough money to be independentChild-Parent• Phobia of privacy, impact of western culture• Deep wish of new generation being independent • Generation gap being conservative versus young
generation wanting to do different• Mistrust over ability of young generationHusband-wife• Parental support to girls to be independent
Unhappily families
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Solutions• Education, at school and at home..upbringing,
spiritual and religious rites• Enhancing ability of understanding & conflict
resolution• Understanding advantages of staying together• Sharing of knowledge & experiences• Security• Upbringing of next generation• Emotional attitude and respect• Gratitude
Unhappily families
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Summary-18 Sins
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Summary-18 Sins
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Summary – 9 Holy points
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Summary – 9 Holy points
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Serious issues
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Observation•Following hobbies and later turning to be habits, are being cultivated and rising at tremendous rate among youngsters & professionals
•It is spreading across India including even small towns, not just city areas like early days
Impact•All these bad habits damage health terribly•Social health is too deteriorating•Its heavy & continuous expense•Next generation will completely be spoiled•Tension, instability of family members
Serious issues
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Root causes• In-appropriate sources of earning huge money• Company one needs to keep for such business• Greed for name, fame, power & money• Curiosity, peer pressure and temptation• Lack of assertiveness & affirmativenessImmediate & essential steps• Education & awareness• Spiritual & religious rites• Sharing inspirational stories• Sharing disadvantages of bad company• Watchdog and pressure from family members
Serious issues
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• 24% of global warming due to gas emission• 760 million tons of grain fed to animals PA• 16 pounds of grain to produce 1 pound of beef• Animal products has harmful saturated fat • Animal disease transmission due to proximity or
consumption• Cholesterol in non-veg causes heart disease• Non-lean red meat increases risk of cancers of
the lung, oesophagus, liver, and colon• Too much protein stresses liver & kidneys• Bacterial infection (Bird Flu , mad cow disease)• To produce 1 kg beef 12009Gal water is needed
Stop eating Non-veg food
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Stop Smoking
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There are effects almost on every organ of the bodyBrain damage Stomach ulcers
Stoke Irregular beat
Blurred vision Muscle weakness
Slurred speech Intestinal ulcers
Bleeding throat Infertility
Breathing may stop Liver failure
Heart disease Osteoporosis
Liver disease-cirrhosis
Obesity – weight gain
Stop Alcohol
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Alcohol-Consequences
Vomiting Driving accidents Loss of inhibitions
Headache Hangover Loss of control
Imbalance Fighting Swing - Loss of control
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I commit to myself • Will follow the highest standards of honesty,
integrity, personal conduct and ethical values• Will deal with all stake holders in honest,
courteous, respectful and polite manner showing respect
• Will respect to cultural values & rites• Will not share false or misleading information• Will not engage in wrongful deeds & practices,
which corrupt the industries I serve, or damage the business community or society I live
• And finally will take responsibility for my actions
Commitment & Oath
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Thank You
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