14 steps to change habits

14 Steps to Change Habits

© Braindrums, 2013

We probably all have some habits – small or big – that we want to change. Often we think that change is difficult, slow and

painful. It shouldn’t need to be. As long as you know what to look for and take care of yourself. This presentation is a story for

all the things you can keep in mind when you want personal change. And a good coach can contribute too ...

Want the change yourself

The person who needs the change, does the work. That will only happen if the person wants the change and feels “enough is enough” about the old habit. Changing

because your kids, partner or doctor want you to, is usually not enough.© Braindrums, 2013

Have a positive attractive alternative for your old habit

See yourself behaving in a positive new way and feel emotionally attracted to this new you. If you want to stop smoking, see yourself breathing fresh air, if you want to

stop unhealthy eating, see yourself eating healthy food, ...© Braindrums, 2013

Break all previous systems

Your habit has one or more strategies. You not only know that you have to smoke when you’re in stress, you also know exactly which brand to smoke. These are

systems and patterns that you can break. © Braindrums, 2013

Make all triggers for the old habit kick start your new behaviour

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List all the triggers for your old habit (waking up, after dinner, when driving through that particular street, after sex, out with friends ...) and imagine yourself reacting in

your new way to those same triggers. And feel good about this!

Prepare for dealing with future difficult emotional moments

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Strong emotional situations rarely come as a surprise. Often they have to work their way up, and you know when you are heading that way. Find ways that work for you

to calm down, reduce stress and deal with unexpected strong emotions.

Learn new ways of giving yourself the same benefits as your old habit

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Your old habit did give you some benefits. Some habits calm you down in times of stress, some heighten your level of concentration, some just kill time when waiting ... Find out what they were and learn new and better ways of achieving the same result.

Strengthen those beliefs that will support you in changing

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Sometimes smokers tell me they believe they smell bad to other people. They do! Believing this will motivate them more to quit smoking. Every habit has downsides in

the mind of the beholder. It’s good to keep it that way or make it stronger.

Get rid of beliefs that will prevent you from change

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Some smokers tell me that if they stop smoking, they’ll gain weight. Whether that is true or not is not relevant if it stops you from getting the change you want. I change

the belief and teach them ways to gain control over their eating habits.

When values are involved, satisfy them in new ways

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Some people believe they need their habit to satisfy their values, for example in the case of social smoking or drinking. You can either deal with this as a limiting belief, or

learn to satisfy your value in another way. In our example, other ways to be social.

Find an acceptable way to deal with the physical part of your old habit

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Some habits, like smoking and nailbiting, have motoric components. I am not talking here about withdrawal, it’s rather “what will I do with my hands”? Often you can not eliminate this component, people still have to eat. So you’ll have to be creative here.

Pick an attitude that makes you say “so what?” if you have a bad day

You are not perfect. So what? It’s better to go through life with an attitude where you can easily pick your new habit right up again when you are having a bad day, instead

of living with fear of failure, or being disappointed if things don’t go right.© Braindrums, 2013

Take care of previous failed attempts standing in your way

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Sometimes failed previous attempts stand in the way of change. One unusual case was when someone I coached to stop smoking, started feeling his nicotine patches again on his arm. Stopping can induce certain old needs you will have to deal with.

Deal with the craving

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Once you abandoned your old habit, you may still feel the craving. It’s a good thing. It’s your body telling you that you are on the right path. If you really can’t stand the

craving, you can take it away in the same way like any other unwanted emotion.

Prepare for your environment

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Your family, friends or colleagues may not accept the new you easily, (un)willingly. It’s like when buying porcelain from a door-to-door salesman, they will tell you it won’t

last, test you or try to seduce you in your old habits. Resist or change family!

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Get your free e-book 14 Steps to Change Habits

You have read this presentation for a reason, and this is a good start. Now what can you do next?

We can assist you, as a coach, to find and make the change you want in your work or in your life. A short conversation to understand your needs and wants and to see if there is a match between us, is a first step.

We also run change programs on a bigger scale, within a company or organization. For example to install a culture of execution behaviour within a department or to increase leadership attitude.

We can also train you and your colleagues to learn you how to make the change in the work and lifes of others. We have trained people all over Europe, in Africa and North-America from small to big companies and organizations.

You can also contact us for speaking engagements, or if you have further questions or need information

marc@braindrums.comhttp://www.braindrums.com

© Braindrums, 2013

Author Marc Innegraeve is a Master Trainer of NLP and an executive coach. He trains and coaches people in different countries all over the world on topics like creativity, leadership and behavioural change. You can contact him on:

marc@braindrums.com

Some feedback from some of our clients:

“You saved me 1,5 hours each day!”Marc M., Senior Auditor Banking, UBS

"I really enjoyed this course and thought that it was the one course where I really learned a lot. The material has been extremely useful in my own work environment and in my new post with the UN I will keep on referring back to it."George R., Senior Planning Officer, UN

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Author – Marc InnegraevePictures – office.microsoft.com

We like to thank Dr. Richard Bandler, John La Valle, Kathleen La Valle, Adrian Brown, Steve Crabb, Tina Taylor, Jaina Dadia and

the many, many students and clients without whom this presentation would not be possible.

© Braindrums, 2013. All material in this presentation constitutes intellectual property. Copying in any medium, redrawing, or rephrasing is forbidden unless you have the

explicit written permission from the author. Published in Belgium, all rights reserved in all media.

© Braindrums, 2013