all together now
DESCRIPTION
SitcomTRANSCRIPT
All Together Now
Pilot
30 Minutes - Sitcom
By Ori Galili
Email: [email protected]
Phone: +972.54.3001678
Skype: ori3185
CHARACTERS:
JACOB ’JACKIE’ KOOGER, 60
PATRICIA ’PAT’ KOOGER, 60
SHERRY FINCH, 34
EDDIE FINCH, 34
BEN FINCH, 6
----------------------------------------------------------------
ACT ONE
1 INT. KOOGER FAMILY LIVING ROOM \ KITCHEN - DAY
A decent suburb house. PAT sits at the kitchen table,
reading the newspaper and drinking coffee. We hear Jackie’s
scream from upstairs. Pat remains calm.
PAT
What happened, Jackie, you have
seen yourself in the mirror and
thought a troll snuck in our
bathroom?
JACKIE rushes down stairs to the sink’s cabinet.
JACKIE
We have a rat!
Pat exhales.
PAT
I told you this exterminator is
awful.
JACKIE
So why did you give me his number?
PAT
I didn’t.
JACKIE
Are you sure?
PAT
Yes, I gave you Sherry’s
exterminator’s number, which for
some reason you decided not to
call.
2.
JACKIE
Oh, right.
PAT
Why didn’t you called him?
JACKIE
Does it matter now?
PAT
Of course, if I can add another
straw until your back breaks, why
not?
JACKIE
It has been broken since the day
you said ’I do’.
Jackie opens the sink cabinet and pulls a raid spray can and
walks toward the stairs.
PAT
Oh, god, Jackie Kooger, you are not
going to spray this poor creature,
it will suffer for a long time
until it dies, that’s too vicious.
Jackie stops and looks at her, thinking.
JACKIE
You’re right.
Jackie opens the closet and grabs a baseball bat. Pat rolls
her eyes.
JACKIE
That will be faster.
Pat rolls her eyes while Jackie walks up the stairs.
2 EXT. KOOGER HOUSE - DAY
SHERRY, EDDIE and BEN stand outside the house. Sherry looks
scared, Eddie is deep inside his smartphone and Ben holds a
massive water super soaker.
SHERRY
Oh, I love this house so much. So
many memories. Most of them are
good. A specially the ones with
your grandpa, Ben. Yeah, it’s gonna
be so much fun in here!
Beat.
3.
SHERRY
I can’t do it!!!
Sherry walks two steps away when:
EDDIE
Ben.
Ben raises his water soaker at Sherry and cocks it. She
freezes angrily.
SHERRY
You are my only son, how could
you?!
BEN
Sorry, ma’am, it’s my duty.
SHERRY
We will see you working that duty
of yours without pocket money!
EDDIE
Sherry, come on, you know we don’t
have a choice.
SHERRY
Of course we have! Ben, didn’t you
ever wanted to leave everything
behind and go back packing?
BEN
(Chuckles) Without my moisturizer?
Good try.
EDDIE
Sherry, it’s not the best solution
but we agreed it will save us a lot
of money until we cancel the
warrant. Don’t you want a decent
life for Ben?
Sherry examines Ben.
SHERRY
I’ll buy you moisturizer for a
whole year.
Ben lowers his gun and smiles.
EDDIE
I told you, once I’ll sell my idea
we will be able to afford renting
(MORE)
4.
EDDIE (cont’d)another house while they finish
building ours.
SHERRY
Eddie, nobody needs another social
network!
EDDIE
Sherry!
Sherry stomps her feet angrily.
SHERRY
Alright! Alright! (Breathes in)
Let’s do it. But if my dad pulls
out his shot gun you will be my
human shield.
The Finches walk toward the door while Ben at the rear, aims
his gun to Sherry.
SHERRY
I mean, how hard would it be to
tell your parents you have to come
back living with them?
3 INT. KOOGER FAMILY LIVING ROOM \ KITCHEN - DAY
The Finches walks in and greet Pat:
SHERRY \ EDDIE \ BEN
Hi mom! \ Hi Pat! \ Grandma!!!
Pat, excited to see them, rises and walks toward them:
PAT
Look whose here! The Finch family!
What a lovely surprise! You didn’t
told me you are coming, did you
told Jackie?
SHERRY
No, well, we have an emergency.
PAT
An emergency? What happened?
SMASH!
A loud blow comes from upstairs, followed by:
5.
JACKIE (O.S.)
I’ve got you, you little son of
a... Where are you? You were just
here! How did you pulled that you
stinking Houdini rat!
The Finches look upstairs worried. Pat shrugs.
EDDIE
What is he doing now?
PAT
Well...
Jackie rushes down stairs dustier than before.
JACKIE
I thought I had it but this sneaky
weasel run away faster than a
Cleveland’s coach ran from
confrontation with Lebron!
Jackie passes the group and walks toward the garage. Ben
opens his arms for a hug:
BEN
Grandpa!
Jackie does not stop.
JACKIE
Move away.
Ben lowers his hands sadly.
JACKIE
Wait, is this a water soaker?
BEN
This is the ’thunder-dome 3000’.
Dad says it has a bionic multi
function...
JACKIE
Come with me.
Ben exits into the garage happily.
PAT
Come on, Jackie, now you want to
drown it?
Jackie turns to her:
6.
JACKIE
If there’s anything I hate more
than Monday morning traffic is
unwelcome stinky intruders! They
sleep in your bed, they eat your
food and turn your life upside
down. Just as I got rid of the
kids.
Sherry and Eddie look at each other.
JACKIE
(To Pat) By the way, I’ve smashed
your make up box.
Jackie exits into the garage.
PAT
Oh, don’t mind him. You know how he
is when he does not take his pills
for 3 months. So, what’s the
emergency?
The Finches change looks.
SHERRY
Ben moisturizer run over.
Eddie looks at Sherry angrily, Pat looks at her confused.
END ACT ONE
ACT TWO
4 INT. KOOGER FAMILY LIVING ROOM \ KITCHEN - DAY
Cont. scene 3.
PAT
A moisturizer? That’s the big
emergency?
SHERRY
Well, you know Ben is such a rough
boy, hanging pictures everyday,
knocking nails, digging holes,
planting some trees and what’s not.
PAT
What kind of elementary school you
signed him for?
7.
SHERRY
Oh, the elementary school for...
the soviet union of America?
EDDIE
Sherry...
PAT
Come on, I just touched his hands,
they are softer than baby’s hands,
and he is a baby!
SHERRY
Of course, that’s because he just
finished the moisturizer.
Eddie rolls his eyes.
SHERRY
(Cont.) Trust me, these tiny rough
claws have a destructive power once
they on the loose.
EDDIE
Yeah, they might harm his barbie
dolls collection.
Sherry gives Eddie the look. Ben walks in toward the
kitchen.
PAT
Ben-Ben, are you hungry?
BEN
No, grandpa asked me to bring
cheese. I asked him if you have a
low fat cheese and he started
laughing. Or crying. I am never
sure of grandpa’s emotions.
SHERRY
He has none.
Ben opens the fridge. Jackie walks in with a bunch of ropes.
SHERRY
(To Jackie) Are you trying again to
create a giant chutes and ladders
game?
JACKIE
I’m going fishing!
8.
PAT
Oh, god.
JACKIE
See, on one side of the rope -
there will be cheese. On the other
side of the rope - there will be
me! The rat’s mightiest threat!
SHERRY
Dad, I don’t really sure it’s a
great honor to be called that.
JACKIE
It’s an honor from where I come
from!
PAT
You came from the same place you
are living at now.
SHERRY
And I still don’t think it changes
the fact that its not a great...
Oh, screw it, dad, you are the king
of rats.
JACKIE
Thank you! Let’s go Ben!
Ben turns around and reveals his mouth is full with cheese.
Everyone looks at him with disappointment.
JACKIE
Please tell me we still have cheese
left.
Beat. Ben mumbles something. Jackie looks up for a
salvation.
JACKIE
Let’s go.
Jackie walks up the stairs toward the bathroom. Ben follows
him, one hand with his water gun, the other hand holds
cheese. He mumbles all the way up till he get inside the
bathroom.
Pat directs Sherry and Eddie toward the kitchen.
PAT
Alright, now tell me, what’s going
on?
9.
They sit at the kitchen table while Pat walks toward the
kettle to make coffee.
SHERRY
Nothing, mom, it’s really is the
moisturizer.
EDDIE
Please, stop.
SHERRY
Eddie...
EDDIE
You want me to tell her?
PAT
Tell me what?
EDDIE
That we need to...
SHERRY
Drink soy milk!
Eddie looks at her confused.
PAT
You need to drink soy milk?
SHERRY
Yes, you know, because I’m vegan,
and Eddie wants to try it as well.
EDDIE
Hell, no!
SHERRY
Eddie, you said you will try...
EDDIE
No, I’ve said if my idea will get
bought, I’m willing to try it for a
week.
PAT
Really? What’s your idea?
EDDIE
I’m starting a new social network.
10.
PAT
Oh, what’s that?
EDDIE
Like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram.
PAT
Oh. What are these?
Eddie looks at Sherry.
EDDIE
Well, they are, umm... social
networks... aren’t you familiar
with this term, Pat?
PAT
Can’t say I do.
EDDIE
Well, social networks are a
computer platform that build social
relations...
Pat does not really listens. Sherry’s head about to explode.
EDDIE
(Cont.) among people who share
interests, activities, background
or life...
Sherry can’t take it anymore:
SHERRY
We’ve got our new house project
frozen because apparently its on
an archaeological territory, a
crucial fact that the contractor
’forgot’ to mention, and I - with
my nurses salary - and Eddie - with
his internet affiliate thing he
does - can’t afford paying rent and
mortgage all together, so we came
to ask you to see if we can live
with you guys for a few month until
everything will be fixed.
Eddie and Pat looks at her surprised.
PAT
(Cheerfully) What?
11.
EDDIE
All I had to do for you to speak up
is to monologue about my field of
interest?
Pat walks toward Sherry with a huge smile.
PAT
You want to move in back with us?
SHERRY
Mom, don’t smile, it’s not a
positive thing.
PAT
Why not?
SHERRY
Because I want to be independent
and this is a huge step back for
me!
Eddie coughs.
SHERRY
Shut up, you wouldn’t be
independent even if George
Washington himself handed you the
bill of rights to sign your name
in.
PAT
Come on, Sherry, this would be
wonderful! We will be catching up
like we used to.
SHERRY
When have we ever done that?
Beat.
PAT
You, your sister, potato, potahto.
SHERRY
Have you just called me and Andrea
fat?
PAT
And I will have the chance to get
to know Eddie better, and his...
socks... of network... thing...
12.
EDDIE
(Exhales) Social network platform.
PAT
Right. (Beat) And of course, a
grandma’s biggest dream, I’ll have
the chance to be close to my
grandson!
EDDIE
It will pass after you will get to
know him.
PAT
And you will save money!
SHERRY
I know, mom, I know, but the thing
is... you are not the issue...
Pat gets confused for a beat. Sherry is worried. Eddie pets
her hair to comfort her.
PAT
What do you mean I’m not the... who
is the issu... wait, are you
talking about dad?
Sherry and Eddie look up to the ceiling.
PAT
Oh, come on, Sher, why do you think
Jackie is an issue?
They hear Ben and Jackie yells upstairs:
BEN (O.S.)
Grandpa, I saw it!
JACKIE (O.S.)
Where?
BEN (O.S.)
Over there! Here it is!
A huge SHATTER sound.
JACKIE (O.S.)
Damn it! It was the mirror!
BEN (O.S.)
It ran behind it!
13.
JACKIE (O.S.)
Are you sure?!
BEN (O.S.)
Yeah!
JACKIE (O.S.)
Stop eating all the cheese! Leave
something for the rat!
Jackie runs down the stairs, followed by Ben.
BEN
Where are we going?
JACKIE
To the basement! Lock and load!
BEN
Yes, sir!
Ben cocks the gun and it sprays some water on Jackie’s back,
who screams.
JACKIE
Not on me!
BEN
Sorry, grandpa.
JACKIE
And its frozen!
BEN
Yeah, I’ve put ice inside.
Jackie looks at him for a beat.
JACKIE
Actually, that’s a great idea. From
time to time you surprise me.
Eventually I’ll see you as a real
man.
BEN
Thanks, grandpa.
They both go to the basement door.
BEN
Once we will get the rat, would you
buy me a new nail polish?
14.
JACKIE
I’ll pretend you didn’t said that.
BEN
Why?
JACKIE
Ask your...
Jackie looks at the kitchen and sees Eddie pets Sherry’s
hair.
EDDIE
That’s such a lovely fragrance
you’ve got there, what conditioner
are you using?
Jackie exhales.
JACKIE
I’ll explain you later.
Jackie and Ben walks down the basement.
PAT
You see, look how they play so
nice. Jackie would love to have you
guys here.
EDDIE
I agree. We can also sign a quiet
time agreement.
SHERRY
A what?
EDDIE
We used to do that in college. We
have arranged a schedule about who
has to be quiet and when. It worked
quite great. We have one friend who
couldn’t stop bubbling about boring
stuff like sport, and drinks, and
girls, and stuff, so it was a rest
for our ears not to hear him for
some time.
Sherry and Pat looks at him speechless.
PAT
Well, that was quite interesting,
Eddie.
15.
SHERRY
(To Eddie) Remind me not to ask you
anything about your college years
again.
EDDIE
Well, there is nothing much more I
can tell you about. Maybe the
’belly button twister’ story.
SHERRY
The what?!
PAT
I think this is the most intriguing
thing you have said in the eight
years I’ve known you.
EDDIE
Oh, alright, so it all started with
my friend Rob, a chihuahua, and a
bottle of Lime Fresca.
Sherry drops her head to her hands.
5 INT. KOOGER FAMILY BASEMENT - DAY
Jackie and Ben stands above a few card boxes.
JACKIE
Alright, soldier, in one of these
boxes I have a stethoscope.
BEN
A what?
JACKIE
The thing the doctor use to listen
to your lungs.
BEN
An enema?
JACKIE
What? No! How in god’s name you
have implicated lungs to an enema?
BEN
I don’t know, one day I heard mom
and dad talking about different
positions in bed, which made me
wonder why they talk about their
sleeping positions, it seems to me
(MORE)
16.
BEN (cont’d)like a boring topic to discuss. I
sleep on my back. End of topic. Why
on earth do they have to talk about
it so much? Anyways...
JACKIE
Alright-alright-alright! Just look
for the weirdest headphones you can
find.
Ben nods and they both go through the boxes’ contents.
JACKIE
I still don’t understand what lungs
has to do with enema.
BEN
Mom told dad: ’if you want this
position, I’ll have to do enema
otherwise I’ll scream my lungs out
in pain’.
Jackie is stunned.
JACKIE
For the love of Nixon, there are
questions needed to be left
unanswered.
Ben pulls a box of tape cassettes.
BEN
What are these?
JACKIE
Tape cassettes. This is how your
mother used to store music.
BEN
(Laughs) She is so weird sometimes.
Ben puts it back in the box while Jackie shakes his head.
After a while, Ben pulls out a lava lamp.
BEN
And this?
JACKIE
Lava lamp. You plug it in and
its... well it’s just a lamp shapes
weird.
17.
Ben puts it back, pulls a ’stretch armstrong’ doll and plays
with it excitedly.
BEN
Cool!
Jackie grabs the doll and throws it back to the box.
JACKIE
Would you leave your mother’s box
alone! It’s not there!
Ben pulls a giant poster and unfolds it: it’s Fabio, a 90’s
male model.
BEN
Now we’re talking!
Beat.
JACKIE
Well, your mother has a masculine
taste in men, that’s why she
married your father.
CUT TO:
6 INT. KOOGER FAMILY LIVING ROOM \ KITCHEN - DAY
Still in the kitchen, Eddie struggles to open a pickles jar.
He hands it to Sherry with a sad puppy face. She grabs it,
opens it easily and hands it back to a cheering Eddie.
CUT TO:
7 INT. KOOGER FAMILY BASEMENT - DAY
Cont. scene 5, Jackie grabs the stethoscope from one of the
boxes.
JACKIE
Found it!
BEN
This is the enema?
JACKIE
No! This is the stethoscope. Enema
is a way different tool.
BEN
Phew, if you had to get this into
your...
18.
JACKIE
Shut up!
BEN
How does it work?
Jackie wears it on his ears.
JACKIE
You put it on and listens.
Ben grabs the ’microphone’ diaphragm and attaches it to his
ear.
BEN
I can’t hear a thing.
JACKIE
No, you extra terrestrial, this is
where you are talking into.
Ben attaches it to his mouth and yells:
BEN
Like this?!
Jackie jumps angrily. He looks like he is about to choke
him.
JACKIE
You little...
Ben makes a naive face with a cute little smile. Jackie
shakes his head angrily and goes to the wall. He attaches
the diaphragm to different spots at the wall.
JACKIE
(To the rat) Where are you? I can
hear you walking there...
BEN
Grandpa, what are you doing?
Jackie shushes him.
JACKIE
Not now!
Jackie keeps moving to different spots, but eventually gives
up.
19.
JACKIE
I lost it.
Ben walks toward him and pets him on his back.
BEN
Don’t worry, grandpa, once we will
move in, I’ll help you find it
quickly.
Jackie laughs.
JACKIE
Yeah... Once you are what?
BEN
Move in.
JACKIE
Are you moving in?
BEN
Yes. And mom. And dad.
Jackie laughs.
JACKIE
That’s a good one.
Ben does not understand.
BEN
Thanks.
Jackie heads up.
JACKIE
Let’s go.
Ben follows him and stops.
BEN
Can I grab Fabio?
JACKIE
HURRY UP!
Ben runs to the stairs.
JACKIE
By the way, when are you moving in?
20.
BEN
I don’t know, once mom tells you.
Jackie’s face gets serious.
8 INT. KOOGER FAMILY LIVING ROOM \ KITCHEN - DAY
Sherry, Eddie and Pat sit at the couch, watching television.
Jackie and Ben enter from the basement. Ben stands on the
couch so he is the same height of Jackie.
PAT
Oh, the Mario brothers, have you
found the princess?
BEN
I’ve found Fabio.
Sherry looks at him.
SHERRY
Ben, have you been going through my
stuff?
Beat.
BEN
No.
Sherry looks at Jackie.
JACKIE
In war there are some casualties.
SHERRY
Oh are there?
JACKIE
It all depends on the intelligence
you’ve got. Speaking of
intelligence, a foreign tiny agent
told me something interesting.
Sherry, Eddie and Pat faces get worried.
JACKIE
I’ve been informed that a truly
unnecessary and meaningless troupe
of three might be getting
transferred to this home base. Do
you confirm or should the agent be
sentenced for treason?
21.
SHERRY
I think I should sentence the agent
for treason.
Ben jumps on Jackie quickly, hugs him.
JACKIE
Is it true?
SHERRY
Well, dad, I wanted to ask you
before but you started acting like
the strange ’king of rats’ thing
you do and I didn’t had time to ask
you properly.
JACKIE
Now we have time.
SHERRY
What?
JACKIE
Now we have time.
SHERRY
Dad...
JACKIE
Ask me.
SHERRY
Dad, please...
JACKIE
Ask me.
Beat.
SHERRY
Alright. Dad, can we move...
JACKIE
Ab-so-lut-ely no...
Before he finishes the sentence, Ben sneezes on him. Jackie
drops him on the couch angrily.
JACKIE
I’m infected! I’m infected!
Jackie runs to the kitchen like he is attacked by bees,
washes his face at the sink.
22.
PAT
Ben, see what you did? You just
started world war 3.
Sherry, Eddie and Ben look disappointed.
END ACT TWO
ACT THREE
9 INT. KOOGER FAMILY LIVING ROOM \ KITCHEN - DAY
A few minutes later, Jackie wipes his face with a towel,
Sherry is at the kitchen, while the others sit at the
saloon.
SHERRY
Dad, please, we don’t have much
choice!
JACKIE
You don’t, but I do!
SHERRY
Come on, dad, do you think that I
want it? I was fantasizing about
leave this house since I was five
years old.
Eddie looks at Pat.
PAT
Yeah, he locked her outside
accidentally and went to sleep.
EDDIE
How bad was it?
PAT
A little less than a blizzard.
Eddie’s in shock.
SHERRY
Ok, you right, we have a choice -
pay the rent and the mortgage all
together and struggle raising a
son.
JACKIE
Or, call the construction company
and have them refund you!
23.
SHERRY
But it would take a year long until
we convince them for the refund
anyways.
JACKIE
So call the city hall and demand
them to pay your expenses until
they decide what to do with the
archaeological thing.
SHERRY
Yeah, because the bureaucracy in
this country are so easy to get
through.
JACKIE
Sherry, what do you want from me?
It’s a small house, you have a kid,
it’s never a good thing to take a
step back and I was waiting for all
of you to get out of here since I
was 23 years old! And I’m this
close to getting rid of the other
being as well...
PAT
On my dead body!
JACKIE
I’m glad we have a mutual
agreement.
Pat rolls her eyes.
SHERRY
Dad, come on, you won’t notice us!
We can also sign a quiet time
agreement if you want.
JACKIE
A what?!
Beat.
PAT
(To Eddie) Try the ’belly button
twister’ story.
EDDIE
Well, it all started with...
Pat and Sherry quiets him quickly.
24.
SHERRY
Dad...
JACKIE
I’m sorry, but no. You are a grown
woman, you have a family now, you
need to find a way for yourself.
Now if you excuse me, I have a war
to fight.
Jackie grabs the baseball bat and walks up stairs. Sherry
and Eddie are devastated. Pat is sad.
PAT
Sherry...
SHERRY
No, it’s okay mom, he is right.
Let’s go.
Eddie and Ben get up. Pat rushes to Sherry. Ben looks for
his water gun.
PAT
Baby, come on, do you really think
he would lock you outside the
house?
Sherry gives her the look.
PAT
Alright, but this is different, you
have a son you need to take care
of.
SHERRY
Mom, it’s all alright.
BEN
Where is my water soaker?
EDDIE
Maybe you left it down stairs?
Ben walks to the basement.
PAT
Sherry, stop it, you know dad, he
is like a monkey. He screams, and
jumps, and yells, and waves his
hand, but once you will get him a
banana he will be relaxed so you
could easily talk him into it . Or
(MORE)
25.
PAT (cont’d)you can get him Chipotle as well.
Same effect.
SHERRY
Mom, it’s not that.
PAT
Do you really think you need his
approval to stay here? You are
family and you are more than
welcome to stay here as much as you
want...
SHERRY
Mom, I know that we can stay here,
and I know I don’t need dad’s
approval, but I don’t want to feel
unwanted.
EDDIE
I don’t feel unwanted.
SHERRY
Shut up, Eddie.
PAT
Jackie! Come down here now!
SHERRY
Mom, don’t do it...
PAT
Jackie!
Ben comes from downstairs with his gun and another thing he
covers with his palms. Eddie notices him.
EDDIE
Ben is here.
SHERRY
Alright, let’s go.
PAT
Jackie!
Sherry sees Ben holds something.
SHERRY
Ben, what are you holding?
26.
BEN
Fabio.
SHERRY
What? Ben, that’s not Fabio.
BEN
It is. This is how I called it.
Eddie takes a closer look and jumps:
EDDIE
Fabio is moving!
Jackie walks down the stairs.
JACKIE
What do you want?
SHERRY
Oh my god! You are holding the
rat?!
BEN
Yes.
Sherry and Jackie screams together - she from panic and he
from joy. Jackie runs to Ben.
JACKIE
You’ve made it! You’ve caught the
beast! I can’t believe it!
PAT
That a 6 years old kid has
succeeded in doing what you
couldn’t?
JACKIE
(Ignores her) You are a real
Kooger! You are - a king of rats
contender!
EDDIE
Technically, he is a Finch, so...
Jackie hugs Ben and lifts him:
JACKIE
Kooger! Kooger!
Ben drops the rat who runs away. Everybody panicked except
Ben and Jackie.
27.
JACKIE
Don’t worry, he will catch him
again.
PAT
(Coughs) Jackie.
JACKIE
What?
Pat eyes gesture Sherry. Jackie sighs.
JACKIE
Oh, fine, of course you all can
live here. What do you think I am,
a kind of monster?
EDDIE
Well, you do call yourself ’the
king of rats’ so...
Sherry elbows Eddie’s ribs.
SHERRY
Are you sure? We might stay here
for a little while.
JACKIE
No, but what can I do. Eventually,
we are a family, right?
Beat. Pat gets emotional:
PAT
You took your pills! I’m so proud
of you!
Sherry tries to keep a straight face but a smile bursts out.
She goes to hug Jackie who backs away quickly.
JACKIE
No, no, we are not that kind of a
family.
SHERRY
Right, we are the Koogers, right?
JACKIE
Right!
They are all happy.
28.
EDDIE
But technically, the three of us
are the Finches.
SHERRY
Shut up, Eddie.
EDDIE
Alright.
END ACT THREE
CREDIT SCENE
10 INT. KOOGER FAMILY LIVING ROOM \ KITCHEN - DAY
Later that day, the five of them sit around the kitchen
table, signing a form.
EDDIE
Because I’m the one who initiated
the idea of this form, I will host
the signing ceremony.
JACKIE
Hurry up.
EDDIE
Hereby at the Kooger territory, we
are signing a quiet time agreement.
Each of the parties, hereby five of
us, will declare a minimum couple
of hours at any given day he will
not make any sound, inclusive of
talking, dragging your bare feet at
the floor, hum, buzz, pop, crack
your knuckles and breathing out
loud. I declare 6pm to 8pm.
Eddie signs.
SHERRY
That’s the time I’m getting back
from work.
EDDIE
Really? I didn’t happen to know
that.
SHERRY
Change it!
29.
EDDIE
I can’t, I already signed.
SHERRY
Alright, than I declare 2pm to 4pm.
EDDIE
That’s the time I’m asking you to
help me with recipes.
SHERRY
Really? I didn’t happen to know
that either!
Sherry signs quickly.
PAT
I declare 4pm to 6pm.
SHERRY
No one here in this hour.
PAT
Really? I didn’t...
EVERYBODY
...Happen to know that...
Pat signs.
EDDIE
Ben?
Ben is about to sneeze.
EDDIE
We will get back to you later.
Jackie?
JACKIE
I declare 11pm to 8am the next
morning.
He signs happily.
PAT
Very smart, Jackie.
JACKIE
I sacrifice for the troupe.
30.
EDDIE
Thus, the quiet time agreement is
official. Now, we all shake hands
to make it official.
Eddie puts his hand in the middle above the agreement. The
others follow him except Ben, which is still in his
about-to-sneeze mode.
EDDIE
Let me declare that from now on,
the agreement can’t be broken at
the count of three: one, two, th...
Before he finishes the word, Ben sneezes on their hands.
They all get up angrily and yells at Ben, who sits there
smiling. He raises the rat - which apparently he was holding
the whole time - and asks:
BEN
Can I sleep with Fabio tonight?
Everyone looks at him in shock.
*** END OF PILOT ***