all or nothin'... with love
DESCRIPTION
Poems in love, with love.... B L A C K J O H N 1/9/2014TRANSCRIPT
All or nothin’ ... with love
B L A C K J O H N
(final draft 1/9/2014)
2 | P a g e ” a l l o r n o t h i n ’ . . . w i t h l o v e ” b y b l a c k j o h n 1 / 9 / 2 0 1 4
All or nothin’... with love
Foreword:
1. Calling 911
2. Where is the love?
3. She comes with love
4. Sweet sweet love
5. The prize
6. When dreams collide
7. And now I know
8. If it all go’s to shit
9. Destiny
10. My script, your song
11. Self Immolation
12. We got love
13. I ring the bell
14. I ain’t got nothing for you but love
15. If I should die
16. Which one?
17. Am I worthy?
18. Who will dream?
19. The Break-up
20. Whisper
21. Darkness calls
22. Now I understand
23. We three jelly beans
24. Something more
25. Sentenced to love.
26. What about god?
27. I took a photograph of you
28. Too close to call
29. Is this my heart or yours?
30. In
31. Heart Language
32. Happy Birthday
33. Rules of engagement
34. Crash landing
35. Pieces of you
36. I didn’t ask for love
37. This earth
38. I awake in tears
39. This is love
40. The bull is dead
Epilogue:
3 | P a g e ” a l l o r n o t h i n ’ . . . w i t h l o v e ” b y b l a c k j o h n 1 / 9 / 2 0 1 4
Foreword:
One and a half billion seconds (ish), 17,797 sunrises, 17,798 sunsets, 200,000,000
litres of air @20% oxygen utilising on average 5%... about 5,000,000 litres of pure
oxygen, or the best part of 1 big ash tree. In addition, about half an Olympic
swimming pool of water consumed. This algorithm of my existence- the sum of all I
am or ever was, in simple terms.
In return I have produced 18 metric tonnes of excrement- ¾ of which was water, not
a bad return as usage go’s, what ya think? That figure, as of yesterday morning (I
know I should eat more fibre). Interestingly, I have smoked 420,001 cigarettes, which
if I’m not mistaken makes me about quits with the tree regarding carbon dioxide
containment (that is of course if i don’t get cremated). And come to think of it, a
least half of that fluid intake was alcohol- so actually, I am probably pure water
positive.
And was it worth it I wonder, did I earn my noble passage or trade away existence for
some other fool’s obsolete pipe dream? Not a bad exchange overall, I feel. In truth, it
looks as if I may be in credit, I am pleased. And before some asshole suggests that my
airline miles somehow affect my carbon number, I checked with the airlines... they
were flying anyway! So basically, to save this planet from the wanton destruction of
the selfish (those who don’t get drunk or smoke excessively) we need a lot more guys
like me. So will you tell me how much you are worth, retrospectively? Sorry to pry,
but I really am interested in finding out. Many trees were permanently disfigured in
the production of this short book, so it’s only fair... ya get me?
It is in the wind, the difference-
in those who choose to view.
Hawks, hernshaws or saws
do not give a flying fuck-
If they’re mistaken,
or are mistaken.
They know,
bird rule.
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Calling 911
Tumbleweed upon the prairie,
or deranged greed?
That’s life.
Shall I blame the stars or god?
Is man himself a contributing
factor?
Could it be all, or none
of the above- just random shit
sticking to the pan?
“This life”
A curt dispatcher interrupts:
“Hold, you’re in the queue!”
As a cold metallic recording
adds meat to the argument,
“In an emergency, press 1”-
I do...
something happens.
5 | P a g e ” a l l o r n o t h i n ’ . . . w i t h l o v e ” b y b l a c k j o h n 1 / 9 / 2 0 1 4
Where is the love?
I am on this earth
right now,
Seeking love,
but there is none.
Nothing to balance this hate
I see everywhere.
Is the battle lost, has love
already been defeated,
Am I too late?
Only in the cold dead eyes
of innocent children burned,
is there any suggestion
of eternity,
or even hope.
What have we become?
This earth appals me,
disgust me,
frightens me...
A filth infested shrine to mediocrity
and fear masquerading as power.
Those pulling strings
are weak,
I will show you,
I will go down to the mountain,
I will drown in liquid fire,
And I will show you...
Another kind of love.
Perfect in its anger,
Obedient to its master.
6 | P a g e ” a l l o r n o t h i n ’ . . . w i t h l o v e ” b y b l a c k j o h n 1 / 9 / 2 0 1 4
Behemoth!
Leviathan!
Ziz!
I command thee...
All sauropods of chaos,
Emerge from slumber!
Finish this slaughter,
murder them all...
Enter Israel!
I can no longer watch
Palestinian babies crying,
Slowly and painfully dying,
without need,
While this world watches,
Without love.
The sun go’s dark,
the dead sea swells,
the land beneath shakes.
It has begun,
Dive, take cover,
Find shelter!
But not in Israel...
for there, there will be none.
The wicked shall be hoisted,
their destiny fulfilled
By sea, by air, by earth,
by ire and golden fire.
By Behemoth,
Leviathan,
And Ziz!
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Golems without imagination,
called to reach a definitive
conclusion to hate.
I can no longer watch
Palestinian children dying,
calling out in vain to an earth
that simply doesn’t care.
The golems of my creation
have been summoned,
they are taking form
and shape.
What a price this world must pay,
for love.
There has always been
an easier way.
The sun go’s dark,
the red sea swells- heats!
The land beneath shakes-
Too late,
your half-assed cries of apology,
too late to beg forgiveness,
Your apathy alone
was heard.
It is done.
And on the mound of lions
shall rest their severed heads,
in dust.
My love is perfect,
As is my wrath-
my ire on fire,
taking wing...
8 | P a g e ” a l l o r n o t h i n ’ . . . w i t h l o v e ” b y b l a c k j o h n 1 / 9 / 2 0 1 4
I am dragon,
I am ready...
I am already done.
9 | P a g e ” a l l o r n o t h i n ’ . . . w i t h l o v e ” b y b l a c k j o h n 1 / 9 / 2 0 1 4
She comes with love
She comes with love to heal my wounds,
She, who could kill me.
The Queen of heaven without agenda,
the knave of spades caves in.
She comes by birthright wielding light,
And I accept her invitation.
Her love is perfect, power with stability.
Long live the Black Prince, loved.
She comes with love to heal my wounds,
and this stolen union will be forever.
Mortal now, I feel the crush of my bones,
blood flow in a heart finally beating.
It’s not every day that one throws away
one’s immortality on a whim.
All hail the White Queen, she is his love.
And He is nothing without her.
10 | P a g e ” a l l o r n o t h i n ’ . . . w i t h l o v e ” b y b l a c k j o h n 1 / 9 / 2 0 1 4
Sweet sweet love...
I made a cage for love,
inside it slept- long
into the evening.
I dared not open senses
for fear of losing everything.
When out of the blue,
drunk purely on emotion,
I braved the wilderness to weep-
creeping slowly towards
my inevitable
defeat.
It gently flung open,
inside no sounds uttered,
nothing leaped.
As I peered inside,
that which sought to bind,
I soon discovered that
it had been empty
all along.
Un-caging love,
It was I who was released.
11 | P a g e ” a l l o r n o t h i n ’ . . . w i t h l o v e ” b y b l a c k j o h n 1 / 9 / 2 0 1 4
The prize
The prize, the prize is everything.
No caveats or loopholes
required,
or requested.
It is everything,
It is love.
12 | P a g e ” a l l o r n o t h i n ’ . . . w i t h l o v e ” b y b l a c k j o h n 1 / 9 / 2 0 1 4
When dreams collide
When dreams collide, the earth
stops.
I have nothing more-
There is nothing more,
to add.
13 | P a g e ” a l l o r n o t h i n ’ . . . w i t h l o v e ” b y b l a c k j o h n 1 / 9 / 2 0 1 4
And now I know
I now know something
I dared not dream,
hope, pray or
believe in...
“All or nothing”
was the deal.
That is the deal.
Nothing more to fix or
endlessly chew,
Catch ya’all in a millennium,
or two!
14 | P a g e ” a l l o r n o t h i n ’ . . . w i t h l o v e ” b y b l a c k j o h n 1 / 9 / 2 0 1 4
If it all go’s to shit
If it all go’s to shit
between now and then,
what harm?
We all expect too much.
If it all go’s to shit
between you and I,
what harm?
Have we not loved,
Is that not enough?
Maybe easier for I,
as it only happened once.
I don’t know- I don’t care!
I loved you once,
that enough for me,
I will dine for all eternity...
on you.
Could it be that I
do not expect enough?
Do not want enough-
need enough,
Perhaps?
If it all go’s to shit,
what harm will it be?
The veil of expectation
has been lifted,
shredded...
I have seen your face,
imagined your embrace-
caught you every time
you fell...
15 | P a g e ” a l l o r n o t h i n ’ . . . w i t h l o v e ” b y b l a c k j o h n 1 / 9 / 2 0 1 4
What have we to fear?
Centuries of death
proved no barrier
to you and I,
To us.
16 | P a g e ” a l l o r n o t h i n ’ . . . w i t h l o v e ” b y b l a c k j o h n 1 / 9 / 2 0 1 4
Destiny
Destiny,
what a gamble
paying off.
I entered this game clueless.
There were rules apparently,
thank god I ignored them.
Or did I jump ship
And in that fall
be retrieved?
Destiny,
what a gamble-
what an unexpected gambit
paying off.
No longer clueless, I roam emotion
with the innocence of a child,
Over awed,
over-powered...
by love.
17 | P a g e ” a l l o r n o t h i n ’ . . . w i t h l o v e ” b y b l a c k j o h n 1 / 9 / 2 0 1 4
My script, your song...
Script...
what script?
Non-rehearsable!
This show is
non-rehearsable,
don’t ever try-
don’t care,
just let it flow...
this show,
let it flow,
let it find its own way!
There is no other way-
Non-rehearsable!
This show is
Non-rehearsable!
This life is
Non-rehearsable!
I am...
un-rehearsable
No other way,
just let it flow...
There is no bridge,
nothing to be built-
just let it flow,
let it be.
Be that better man,
that better woman,
that better child
within us all.
Within all of us...
hiding, fearing,
18 | P a g e ” a l l o r n o t h i n ’ . . . w i t h l o v e ” b y b l a c k j o h n 1 / 9 / 2 0 1 4
silently hoping-
praying for change,
Praying for peace,
just praying...
No good.
Let it flow,
let it all go-
this is all there is,
all that we need
To be happy now,
Not in some possible future.
This is no dressed rehearsal,
this is no dying dream.
This is,
all that there is-
And it is perfect!
Script!
What script?
We don’t need one.
All or nothing babe,
I am “all-in!”
Irreversibly!
Blinded by the sun
hounding love, do not
cure me of this malady-
I am in love.
19 | P a g e ” a l l o r n o t h i n ’ . . . w i t h l o v e ” b y b l a c k j o h n 1 / 9 / 2 0 1 4
Self Immolation : a deliberate and willing sacrifice of oneself by fire.
Emergency,
from the shadows.
I see you face
smile
And I am free.
This is my emergency,
leaving the darkness
For your love.
You called,
I heard...
And now I have replied.
No boundaries
for the Queen of Light,
standing un-denied.
The King of Darkness
emerges from the crowd...
This is an emergency,
my emergency,
No more the crown of thorns
piercing every thought,
No more rehearsals-
dressed or not,
I emerge, I emerge
to be with you,
my love.
Sparks crest internally,
hot liquid gassed spins-
and so the fire
begins
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Self immolation baby,
imminent.
21 | P a g e ” a l l o r n o t h i n ’ . . . w i t h l o v e ” b y b l a c k j o h n 1 / 9 / 2 0 1 4
We got love
We got love by the tail,
lord knows where this go’s.
I spin through you,
You and I...
We got love by the tail,
And we’re not letting go.
22 | P a g e ” a l l o r n o t h i n ’ . . . w i t h l o v e ” b y b l a c k j o h n 1 / 9 / 2 0 1 4
I ring the bell
Light the sky,
the bell has sounded.
Shift the moon
change its orbit.
Let the sea of tides
unborn before this day
become
the earth already
wakened from its slumber.
Cry love! Love! Love! Love!
Unleash my tired angels.
The holy trinity of
godly justice,
comes.
The earth is shaking,
the dead sea boiling,
Our moon approaches
final orbit.
In this world or the next,
my love,
I will see you.
(But this one would be better)
All my love,
Blackjohn
23 | P a g e ” a l l o r n o t h i n ’ . . . w i t h l o v e ” b y b l a c k j o h n 1 / 9 / 2 0 1 4
I ain’t got nothin’ for you but love
Compromise,
I ain’t got none
No...
not for you.
Compassion,
I ain’t got none
No...
not for you.
Forgiveness,
I ain’t got none
... not for you.
All I got is love girl,
And that’s all I got for you.
Excuses,
I ain’t got none
No...
not for you.
Blame,
I ain’t got none
No...
not for you.
Lies,
I ain’t got none
No...
not for you.
All I got is love girl,
And that’s all I got for you.
24 | P a g e ” a l l o r n o t h i n ’ . . . w i t h l o v e ” b y b l a c k j o h n 1 / 9 / 2 0 1 4
I ain’t got compromise- I don’t need none
I ain’t got compassion - I don’t need none
I ain’t got forgiveness - I don’t need none
I ain’t got excuses - I don’t need none
I ain’t got blame- I don’t need none
I ain’t got lies- I don’t need none
Love girl, that’s all I got,
‘cause love don’t need nothing...
But you.
25 | P a g e ” a l l o r n o t h i n ’ . . . w i t h l o v e ” b y b l a c k j o h n 1 / 9 / 2 0 1 4
If I should die
If I should die
before I take your breath away,
kill me now, it would be kinder.
If I should die
before I hear you say my name,
kill me now, it would be kinder
If I should die
before you know my love is you,
kill me now, it would be kinder
If I should die
before I taste tenderly your kiss,
kill me now, it would be kinder
If I should die
before I plunge helplessly in you
kill me now, it would be kinder
If I should die
before we synthesise with sun,
kill me now, it would be kinder.
If I should die
before I see your smile asleep,
kill me now, it would be kinder.
If I should die
before we cry joyful tears as one
kill me now, it would be kinder.
If I should die... enough!
Kill me now and let’s get this over.
My gentle heart can take no more.
26 | P a g e ” a l l o r n o t h i n ’ . . . w i t h l o v e ” b y b l a c k j o h n 1 / 9 / 2 0 1 4
Which one
I will not take
what is not freely given.
Have I stared too long into the sun?
Have I by wilful fire been burned?
Is there no alternative to love?
Am I Icarus or Phaethon?
Dare I look up,
or down?
You choose.
27 | P a g e ” a l l o r n o t h i n ’ . . . w i t h l o v e ” b y b l a c k j o h n 1 / 9 / 2 0 1 4
Am I worthy
I scratch at the sky,
some rag and bone rat-man
nibbling on eternity...
Am I worthy?
Who am I to warrant
this radiant beauty,
a love such as this?
Am I worthy,
am I...?
She is.
28 | P a g e ” a l l o r n o t h i n ’ . . . w i t h l o v e ” b y b l a c k j o h n 1 / 9 / 2 0 1 4
Who will dream
Who will dream with me?
Who would dare make
a beggar of belief,
with me?
You must,
you simply must.
I will bow before the blackest god-
cap in hand, if I am wrong.
Sweet god,
sweet god of love
This is the way,
The only way.
I beseech thee,
take my life, my soul-
everything I love dear or hold,
Take it all if I am wrong...
Even,
even her!
29 | P a g e ” a l l o r n o t h i n ’ . . . w i t h l o v e ” b y b l a c k j o h n 1 / 9 / 2 0 1 4
The break-up
Athena,
Goddess of love,
Its over hun- I’m sorry.
I have found another
She is frail, fragile- human,
Everything that I am not.
Sorry babes, it’s over.
Forgive me, or not
I don’t care.
This man has fallen for another.
And this chasm is deep-
so deep my love,
that tears born at the dawn of time,
have not yet reached
the bottom
Hephaestus my dear...
Has left the building!
30 | P a g e ” a l l o r n o t h i n ’ . . . w i t h l o v e ” b y b l a c k j o h n 1 / 9 / 2 0 1 4
Whisper
How can I say more,
when there is nothing more
to say.
I have told you everything.
What more can I do,
when there is but one thing
left to do.
Meet me,
not half-way...
Take but the slightest step
in my direction, a single breath
or smile when you are alone,
That enough...
I will know.
I will come to you.
I will show you our eternity,
right now.
Whisper,
whisper my name
I can hear your heart beating
from here...
though I am half a million miles away.
31 | P a g e ” a l l o r n o t h i n ’ . . . w i t h l o v e ” b y b l a c k j o h n 1 / 9 / 2 0 1 4
Darkness calls
I do not want to be remembered
when I’m gone,
know me now.
My hope is that I died,
as I lived-
Un-compromised.
All or nothing,
... with love.
32 | P a g e ” a l l o r n o t h i n ’ . . . w i t h l o v e ” b y b l a c k j o h n 1 / 9 / 2 0 1 4
Now I understand
Anxiously, I wait...
my soul emptied of purpose.
I am naked before God.
Will my call be returned,
will it even be delivered?
I must believe,
or die...
human.
“Better to have loved and lost...”
Dam it, he was right.
I think?
Slowly, I am dying...
Each breath one less-
One more step towards
the eternal.
I scream to live,
deliver me lord beyond
the reach of ordinariness,
have I not been tested
enough?
No mortal man
has ever been asked,
to endure an onslaught
such as this-
It is all consuming.
My flesh devours itself...
Shall I now question love?
Might I still have that right?
33 | P a g e ” a l l o r n o t h i n ’ . . . w i t h l o v e ” b y b l a c k j o h n 1 / 9 / 2 0 1 4
I think not.
Dark is the night,
my evolution has begun.
My skin tightens
wrapped in diamonds-
supporting golden
claws.
I feel the fire
hssssssssssssss,
My spine deforms.
My blood freezes,
I am dying.
He comes...
for I have called him.
He comes...
and there shall be no shelter,
For any without love.
34 | P a g e ” a l l o r n o t h i n ’ . . . w i t h l o v e ” b y b l a c k j o h n 1 / 9 / 2 0 1 4
We three jelly beans
We three serve love,
We three have no other master.
All our love,
BLZ
35 | P a g e ” a l l o r n o t h i n ’ . . . w i t h l o v e ” b y b l a c k j o h n 1 / 9 / 2 0 1 4
Something more
Beautiful are the stolen moments
surrendering to love,
Those moments no one sees,
between a man and his god.
Between the hunter
and the hunted...
Invalidating a hollow life-
Be that prey love,
or something
more.
36 | P a g e ” a l l o r n o t h i n ’ . . . w i t h l o v e ” b y b l a c k j o h n 1 / 9 / 2 0 1 4
Sentenced to love.
I cannot not do
what is in my heart,
though it may cost me
everything.
I will not not do-
not play the part,
though it may cost me
everything.
These are my crimes
against myself.
Call the jailor,
I am condemned-
Sentenced to love.
37 | P a g e ” a l l o r n o t h i n ’ . . . w i t h l o v e ” b y b l a c k j o h n 1 / 9 / 2 0 1 4
And what about god?
And what about god,
does he not get to slip between
her sweet soft satin sheets?
To lose himself...
if only momentarily?
To taste the sacred
manifesting?
Shit,
that guy gets a raw deal.
Immortality,
full consciousness,
unlimited power...
All overrated.
Without a woman to hold,
Or be held,
What use is it?
38 | P a g e ” a l l o r n o t h i n ’ . . . w i t h l o v e ” b y b l a c k j o h n 1 / 9 / 2 0 1 4
I took a photograph of you
Every moment photographed-
not with a camera,
But with my heart.
The sounds surrounding you,
requesting presence.
The smell of rain afraid
to fall on you.
The wind crestfallen
unable to braid your hair.
My eyes torn out digesting
every morsel of light
bending helplessly
around you.
The heart see’s all.
Knows all, feels everything...
And processed stamps its mark upon it
“packaged for eternity”
39 | P a g e ” a l l o r n o t h i n ’ . . . w i t h l o v e ” b y b l a c k j o h n 1 / 9 / 2 0 1 4
Too close to call
So here I stand...
frightened, scared,
distracted.
Not of god,
Or scheming demons
plotting my demise-
but of her.
She who comes to heal my wounds
And open new ones.
And what of love I hear you say?
I have no more answers.
The coin is tossed and spinning
wildly to a halt,
Who will emerge the victor?
Too close to call- too close to call.
When death asks me my name,
I will say- “my name is love”.
Perhaps either way,
I’ve won?
40 | P a g e ” a l l o r n o t h i n ’ . . . w i t h l o v e ” b y b l a c k j o h n 1 / 9 / 2 0 1 4
Is this my heart or yours?
Is this my heart or yours
that I am in?
I am confused.
I lie down upon the earth
gazing towards distant
stars-
they are you!
Real enough to touch,
yet not.
Heaven,
is but one single breath
released and not regained...
Is your loveliness enough
to keep me here?
To hold me down?
I am fierce, I am strong.
Shall I release?
Is perfection optional
ground down?
Is imperfection?
I don’t know,
I am confused...
One cannot stand before the sun
and not get burned-
Call it or I am gone.
Fear grips, I grip tighter and
rip her from existence.
41 | P a g e ” a l l o r n o t h i n ’ . . . w i t h l o v e ” b y b l a c k j o h n 1 / 9 / 2 0 1 4
In
Between the invisible lines
rests the sacred-
emotion redefining,
Recalibrating reason without.
Heart language defies
all attempts at explanation,
presentation.
The brain does not know how.
It is the seat of knowing
without reason.
A kind of magic- soft love
between best friends.
The heart knows everything,
see’s everything...
The brain does not.
42 | P a g e ” a l l o r n o t h i n ’ . . . w i t h l o v e ” b y b l a c k j o h n 1 / 9 / 2 0 1 4
Heart Language
Do not be rash
with love-
Once I was.
The consequences
stretch far beyond mortality.
A life,
one life,
so short- shit,
barely an instant.
A moment- a flash,
shit, already over.
Do not be rash
with love...
Once, I was.
43 | P a g e ” a l l o r n o t h i n ’ . . . w i t h l o v e ” b y b l a c k j o h n 1 / 9 / 2 0 1 4
Happy Birthday
This is my gift
to you.
Not a fancy diamond,
yet it shines.
Years are short,
yet each one has a song.
I remember you as a child,
all full of love.
I watched you growing up-
your first steps,
your first words.
I saw everything,
And you were perfect.
This world is harsh
yet you did not break,
I know...
I know all things.
I watched you sway in storms,
I saw the howling winds
pass right through-
I saw...
I saw you,
I caught you every time.
And you were tuff-
you were strong,
Deserving...
Of love.
44 | P a g e ” a l l o r n o t h i n ’ . . . w i t h l o v e ” b y b l a c k j o h n 1 / 9 / 2 0 1 4
Happy birthday honey,
I love you.
45 | P a g e ” a l l o r n o t h i n ’ . . . w i t h l o v e ” b y b l a c k j o h n 1 / 9 / 2 0 1 4
Rules of engagement
There are none...
Not for love,
No, not for love.
Guidelines maybe,
but no rules-
No,
not for love.
46 | P a g e ” a l l o r n o t h i n ’ . . . w i t h l o v e ” b y b l a c k j o h n 1 / 9 / 2 0 1 4
Crash landing
Coming in hot-
no undercarriage.
Burning up, I’m burning up...
Sound the sirens-
This emergency’s landing.
47 | P a g e ” a l l o r n o t h i n ’ . . . w i t h l o v e ” b y b l a c k j o h n 1 / 9 / 2 0 1 4
Pieces of you
I hold my heart as if it’s yours,
And one day it will be-
I promise.
Such beautiful confusion.
You appear and disappear in glimpses,
at different ages,
pieces of you.
Your face, your hair- I see you.
I hold my heart as if it yours,
And I can touch you.
Almost.
I hold my heart as if it’s yours,
and I sing you to me-
I promise.
Such beautiful confusion.
I hear your voice drifting towards me,
Choirs baby, choirs-
pieces of you.
Your heart, your soul- I feel you.
I hold my heart as if it yours,
And I know you,
All of you.
48 | P a g e ” a l l o r n o t h i n ’ . . . w i t h l o v e ” b y b l a c k j o h n 1 / 9 / 2 0 1 4
I didn’t ask for love
I didn’t ask for love,
I asked only for the truth.
And god gave you to me,
only you...
You were his answer.
And you, only you...
showed me love.
God showed me love,
through you.
I wrote all of this,
to thank you,
Both of you.
49 | P a g e ” a l l o r n o t h i n ’ . . . w i t h l o v e ” b y b l a c k j o h n 1 / 9 / 2 0 1 4
This Earth
I have held my breath for long enough,
weighed the universe- its dying song,
for long enough,
this coin spins long.
Would it be better to chose another,
some random world far from here,
shade myself,
spare myself this sun?
50 | P a g e ” a l l o r n o t h i n ’ . . . w i t h l o v e ” b y b l a c k j o h n 1 / 9 / 2 0 1 4
I awake in tears
I awake in tears-
in floods.
My emotions shattered,
Splattered across dimensions.
Who is this god that can do this?
Give me your name!
I bow before you,
I fall upon your floor...
Give me more.
One single point was all required
to shift the entire earth
on its orbit.
Archimedes brother,
We’ve done it...
It was her!
It was her!
It was her!
The earth has turned the corner,
On our new orbit towards
the sun!
51 | P a g e ” a l l o r n o t h i n ’ . . . w i t h l o v e ” b y b l a c k j o h n 1 / 9 / 2 0 1 4
This is love.
Intensity beyond perfection,
this is love.
Diamonds melt,
such is the pressure-
When heat itself explodes.
The dying bull requests acceptance-
the matador has won!
52 | P a g e ” a l l o r n o t h i n ’ . . . w i t h l o v e ” b y b l a c k j o h n 1 / 9 / 2 0 1 4
The bull is dead
Everything begun has an ending.
Sometimes happy,
often not.
Everything that is...
except love.
Sometimes we win or lose
a battle or two,
The bull is strong.
A truly magnificent beast-.
beautiful, without exception.
Powered by passion
fuelled by human need-
by human endeavour.
I wear his marks upon my chest-
still they bleed...
Seeping slaughter.
Though my wounds are deep,
she comes to heal them.
Each crying night-
I treasure.
The bull is dead,
long live the bull!
I miss him,
God loved him too.
53 | P a g e ” a l l o r n o t h i n ’ . . . w i t h l o v e ” b y b l a c k j o h n 1 / 9 / 2 0 1 4
Epilogue: Forget all the smoke and mirrors...
It sits beneath the throne of my soul prepared to catch me should I fall, a ball of
energy elevating everything worthwhile. Many explore the phenomenon of love
expecting so much with little or no effort. If one hunts rabbit, one must know what a
rabbit looks like- must understand its habits and favourite places to hang out. It is
never where you expect it to be, of that I am sure. In is rarely in anyone you expect it
to be in... love is neither male nor female, it is something more. Something higher,
more profound. And should you chance upon it either by accident or design, ask
yourself one question- “Am I worthy of honouring, holding and sustaining such a
fragile and precious gift, have I prepared my mind, my body and my soul?”
Ultimately, to all those who would seek genuine love, one must find it first within
oneself... after that, it’s easy. And remember, to take it easy, sometimes. It took me
40 years to reach this point in my existence, and that small boy’s still smiling...
All my love,
Blackjohn
Folded softly in my blanket of love,
I rest peacefully, easy...
It is warm, secure,
all embracing..
My heart tingles, gently singing...
“No more pain brother, no more pain...”
Gratitude does not express
all that I am feeling,
Yet that is what it is-
that is what it is and more.
So much more.
I have reached the end, the bottom
of this deep dark chasm...
with love.
“All in baby...”
We’ve already won.