all fired up
DESCRIPTION
All Fired Up. Anger is the second emotion. Agenda. Case Scenario Definition of anger Expressions of anger Anger Cycle Purpose of anger Benefits of anger Using anger constructively Self Management Listening Responding to anger in others Q & A. Fictitious Case Scenario. - PowerPoint PPT PresentationTRANSCRIPT
All Fired UpAnger is the second emotion
Agenda• Case Scenario• Definition of anger• Expressions of anger• Anger Cycle• Purpose of anger• Benefits of anger• Using anger constructively• Self Management• Listening• Responding to anger in others• Q & A
Pat (mediator)
Les (former -employee)Rick (Sr. Mgr. Acme Tech. Ltd)
Erin (Jr. Mgr. Acme Tech Ltd Not present)
Fictitious Case Scenario
Definition of Anger
• An agitated and often hostile state of arousal, varying in intensity, that is emotional, physiological, and cognitive in nature, originating from a perceived threat or sense of wrongdoing.
Expressions of anger
• Direct: annoyed, irritated, fed up, exasperated
• Indirect: disappointed, guilty, depressed, hopeless
• Repressed: sarcasm, passive aggressive behaviour, “forgetting”, physical symptoms or accidents
Anger Cycle
Event-Trigger Esca
lation Phase
Crisis Phase
Recovery PhasePost Crisis Phase
Judgement/Intelligence Creativity
What is the purpose of anger?
• Anger acts as a secondary emotion, emerging in response to the stress of another emotional state that is experienced as more uncomfortable than anger.
(Susskind,Field, 1996)
Painful emotions
• Loss • Grief• Shame• Hurt• Anxiety• Unworthiness • Unmet needs or desires
Using Anger Constructively
• A strong signal that gets our attention.• Motivation to act, make changes and confront
anxiety producing situations that we might otherwise avoid.
• Energy to continue pursuing problems and provocations until they are resolved.
Benefits of Anger
• The body recovers faster from the stress hormones released from anger than it does to those released from fear.
• Anger increases feelings of certainty and control. Fear enhances feeling of uncertainty and loss of control.
So, does anyone else feel their needs aren’t being met?
Responding to anger in others
• Respond with empathy and acknowledgment.• Don’t try to “reason” a person into calming
down.• Allow the other person the right to their own
feelings of anger.• Put a ? between you and the angry person.
Stay curious.
www.joyofconflict.com2010
Staying curious
Refuse the Bait
Self Management
• 1) STOP (our impulses are seldom helpful)• 2) RELAX (and breathe)• 3) REASSURE yourself• 4) REFOCUS on the issue
Listening:Defensive vs. Acknowledging
• Acknowledging• 1) Paraphrase facts-• “so you are saying you tried to call but couldn't reach them”• “sounds like you are swamped right now”• “from your perspective , I haven’t followed through”• 2) Acknowledge feelings (empathy) –• “you sound really pissed off about the new vacation schedule”• “that wait must have been frustrating for you”• “you seem disappointed in your performance review”• 3) Identify unmet needs (reframe what lies unsaid and beneath the surface)• “so you need to be in the loop on future discussions”• “you want your professionalism to be respected”• “financial security is important to you”•
Thank you!
Quiz?