Developing Internal Cooperation

Alison Miller, Ph.D.

What can the front person do?

Listen to Your VoicesVoices are your insiders speaking to you. They

are not signs that you are psychotic.Listen to what they say and ask them questions

to clarify.Don’t be upset if they use foul language or make

threats. They are just using the language they heard in

childhood.They are just doing their jobs, jobs they were

given in childhood. Most of them are child parts of you.

If You Don’t Hear VoicesYou can initiate inner conversation by thinking

to your insiders. Treat your thoughts like people.

Think a question in your head, and then listen for an answer.

The answer could be words that come to you, or a thought, or a picture.

Continue a dialogue with the part of you that answered. Continue to ask questions, to understand who your insiders are and what they may want you to know.

If You Don’t Hear an AnswerTry writing your question with one hand,

then using the other hand to respond.Take a blank piece of paper and invite your

insiders to draw something.Draw a picture and then let the other hand

draw one.Ask for a clarifying dream.Record your dreams as soon as you wake,

since they usually contain messages about your insiders or about your experiences.

The Most Common Voices… are enforcers making sure you obey the abusers’ rules, which are:Silence – don’t disclose about the abuseMaintain a façade of normalcy, or of craziness

if you’ve been discardedObedience to past and present abusersLoyalty to past and present abusersIsolation from outsidersThese parts believe the abusers know everything.

Starting to CommunicateThe voice says “Don’t talk. Don’t tell.

Silence.”Think to the voice and ask why. Ask what will happen if you talk. You may hear a threat (usually delivered in

the voice of an abuser), which is usually a threat the insider heard in the past.

Assess how realistic it is in the present.

Finding Out About Your InsidersAsk them non-threatening questions:How old are you? (most are children)Where do you live?Do you know who I am? Invite them to ask you questions.Don’t interrogate. They may have been interrogated in the past.Don’t react if they insult you.Sympathize with their difficult jobs.

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Types of Insiders Created by AbusersFront peoplePain holders, hurt kidsGuards, soldiers who

maintain securityRecord keepers“Demons” “Animals”Spiritual leaders, witchesLanguage learnersSexual specialists

Sacrificers, dissectors, self-harmers

Spies, assassins, mulesBackupsRe-activators

UndesirablesGarbage Kids (discarded by

perpetrators)Floaters (watchers unknown

to perpetrators)

Guards Give WarningsKinds of Warnings:A sudden painAn electroshock sensationA frightening pictureSleepiness or dizziness or a drugged feelingAn overwhelming emotionThese are usually “Don’t talk” or “Don’t Remember” warnings, showing what the insider was told will happen if you talk or remember.

If You Are Given a Warning …Ask to speak to the inner person who gave the warning.Ask that person what message he or she is giving.Suggest that the person uses words instead, and promise

you will listen if words are used. Say that words will make it clear what they want.

If they complain that you don’t listen to them, acknowledge that you haven’t listened in the past but promise to listen more.

Ask them to listen to you too, because you may know more about the present world than they do.

Updating Your InsidersMany insiders do not know what year it is or

where you live now.Find out what year they think it is and where

they think you live.Show them internal pictures of what you

want them to know.Let them know that the body has grown up.If you are currently safe, let them know it.

But don’t if you aren’t sure of your safety.

Mending FencesOften front people and insiders hate one another. Front people see insiders as demons or abusers

(“human spirits”) because that’s what they have been told, and some insiders have been told they have to be the person who “created” them (split them off).

Insiders are not really these things or people, even if they believe they are. Most are hurt kids or teens.

Often insiders look down on front people because they are so ignorant about what really happened. But they were designed that way.

Front people know a lot about current life, and have the task of managing work, finances, child care, etc.

What can the internal leaders do?

Understand the Front PeopleRecognize that the front people have a

challenging job: handling daily adult life, making food, driving, child care, working, often while in pain or having flashbacks.

Try not to interfere with their jobs.Find gentler ways to communicate with them,

like words rather than pain.Find good times to communicate with them—

not when they are working or studying or with children.

Bridging the GapThere is often a wall or a deliberately designed

gap between the front people and the ones who are meant to stay inside unless called out to do assigned tasks.

The abuser group do not know if you make a hole in the wall or reach out across the gap—as long as no part of you tells them.

Inner communication is the key to healing.Even when the front people can’t talk inside,

the internal leaders can talk to others and change things inside.

Talk to One AnotherThe perpetrator group kept many secrets from

you, and you can find them out by talking to one another.

They kept you from one another so they could deceive each of you differently.

The group does not know if you’re doing this, as long as you don’t tell them.

One big secret is reporter parts, who are supposed to tell on you if anyone disobeys the rules. Find the reporters and give them new jobs, like telling you if anyone contacts the group.

Update EveryoneSend out general messages to everyone inside about such things as:The body’s age in the outside worldWhere you live, what the front person does,

and details of your daily lifeWhere the abusers are currently

Change Your Inner WorldAre people trapped in scary or horrible

places? You can let them out, help them clean up and get dressed, and you can give them better living quarters.

Pay particular attention to “garbage kids” who were discarded or punished by the abusers for disobedience. They are brave and strong.

Internal caregivers can look after little ones.

Change People’s JobsAsk your insiders about what their jobs are

and whether they like them.Some may want new jobs which are about

protecting the whole person rather than protecting the abuser group.

Some kids will want to just be kids, play and have some fun.

You can construct internal playgrounds, with books and toys and other things which help kids feel safe and grow up gradually.

Create an Internal DemocracyMake sure your governing council represents the needs of everyone inside.You are all interdependent as parts of a single brain. Understand why everyone is needed.Pain and emotion holders help the “tough

guys” to not feel pain or weak emotions.Tough guys who had to do bad things kept

you alive and prevented something worse.