alexander, megan - contract for marriage

8/13/2019 Alexander, Megan - Contract for Marriage

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Published. April 1982First printing March 1982 ISBN 0- ! -!0.01!-2

"#p$right % 1982 b$ Megan Alexander. All rights reser&ed. Philippine c#p$right 1982. Australian c#p$right 1982. '(cept )#r use in an$re&ie*+ the repr#ducti#n #r utili,ati#n #) this *#r in *h#le #r in part in any )#r b$ an$ electr#nic+ echanical #r #ther eans+ n#* n#*n#r herea)ter in&ented+ including (er#graph$+ ph#t#c#p$ing and rec#rding+ #r in an$ in)#r ati#n st#rage #r retrie&al s$ste + is )#rbidden

*ith#ut the per issi#n #) the publisher+ /#rld*ide ibrar$+ 22 uncan Mill 3#ad+ #n Mills+ 4ntari#+ "anada M B 59.

All the characters in this b## ha&e n# relati#n *hats#e&er t# an$#ne bearing the sa e na e #r na es. 6he$ are n#t e&en distantl$inspired b$ an$ indi&idual n#*n #r un n#*n t# the auth#r+ and all the Incidents are pure in&enti#n.6he Superr# ance trade ar + c#nsisting #) the *#rd S7P'Ftt4MAN"'+ and the /#rld*ide trade ar + c#nsisting #) a gl#be and the *#rd/#rld*ide in *hich the letter "o " is represented by a depicti#n #) a gl#be+ are trade ar s #) /#rld*ide ibrar$.

CHAPTER ONE

A CHILLY BREEZE pushed at Christy's back and ruffled her coppery hair as she ga ed up at the !ouglasBuilding" #he $onolith of glass and steel glea$ed in the %hite !ece$ber sunlight" Christy checked her%atch" Ele&en o'clock" A half hour re$ained before her appoint$ent %ith ark Brandon( %ho %orked

so$e%here up there on the tenth floor of that prestigious Los Angeles office co$ple)" *anic began to creepinto her li$bs"*erhaps a cup of coffee %ould steady her ner&es" A cool head %as needed for this encounter" +he %ent

into the ground,floor cafe( found a table and placed an order" #he %aitress ser&ed her pro$ptly( and Christyhugged the cup %ith both hands as $uch to steady the$ as to absorb the %ar$th" -n the table anarrange$ent of artificial holly anticipated the season( and piped,in carols settled discordant chi$es allaround her"

#he place bustled %ith patrons" +uddenly their faces ballooned out of proportion . bored( irritable(discerning( leering at her as if they kne% e)actly %hat she %as up to . then receded into anony$ous hu$psand outlines to take on the /uality of a s$udged charcoal dra%ing"


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I can't do it, she thought" I don't have the courage. The words for such a proposition aren't even in myvocabulary. 0e&ertheless( all %eek long she'd con&inced herself she %as /uite capable of confronting a$an she'd $et barely a %eek ago %ith a deeply inti$ate and personal re/uest" +he had not yet allo%edherself to conte$plate ark's reaction but suspected that such a sche$e co$ing fro$ Aunt artha's

properly brought,up niece %ould pack a fair a$ount of shock( e&en to the urbane r" Brandon"But no% apprehension spe%ed a counterpoint to all her bra&e intentions" It %asn't that ark's

/ualifications %eren't i$peccable" He had intelligence( %it and char$ to spare as she had soon learned%hen she $et hi$ at Aunt artha's dinner party last +aturday night" oreo&er( his auburn hair beca$e asignificant asset if genes could be relied upon" #ruthfully it had been the sight of firelight playing on hisrusty head that triggered her grand plan" #hen %hen she learned that his transfer to the #e)as office %as inthe offing( she $ade the decision to approach hi$" A $an %ho pro$ised to take hi$self out of sight and outof $ind $ade an irresistible candidate"

-nce again she thought %ith %onder ho% one $o$ent could turn her life in a totally ne% direction" Ifshe could only get through this $orning( perhaps her long night$are %ould end"

Christy finished a second cup of coffee and looked at the cos$opolitan cro%d around her" Here $o&edthe real %orld( she ad$itted" 1or the past %eek she had %allo%ed in fantasy"

A %arning flashed in her $ind as tangible as a flare in the roo$2 Don't go through with this harebrainedidea. Find a telephone. Cancel the appointment. +natches of a boys' choir singing 34oy to the 5orld3$o$entarily leaped through the babble and spiraled e)uberant har$onies all around her( then subsided(replaced by $e$ories of agoni ed %eeping" #he sound see$ed to surge up to fill the far reaches of theroo$( and she kne% %ith an a%ful clarity %hat she $ust do" +he left change on the table( paid her bill( then%alked out of the cafe and o&er to the ele&ators"

AR6 R-+E as the secretary ushered her into his office" 35hy( Christy( %hat an une)pected pleasure73 A%elco$ing grin lit his face( and he pulled out a chair for her"

His $anner helped to ease her an)iety" As she already had learned( he ne&er acted the hearty e),tra&ert but e)uded a steady %ar$th that reached out and en&eloped her" +he needed that cli$ate"

#he substantial assets of the !ouglas Corporation %ere reflected in the spacious office2 thick %all,to,%all carpet8 %alnut,paneled %alls hung %ith se&eral good oils8 and fro$ the e)panse of glass a breathtaking&ie% of the city" #he secretary retired( closed the door( and Christy sank uneasily into the chair ark

pro&ided" Her heart pounded( and she could not control the tre$or in her &oice"3 ark93 she began and felt her purse slip off her lap" Her face flushed at the a%k%ardness"3#he girl %ith the &intage Cabernet blush(3 he said and raised his eyebro%s kno%ingly"-f course( he referred to that disconcerting episode at Aunt artha's party7 +he thrust up her chin and

$et his eyes s/uarely" 3 y apparent da e that e&ening %as not due to the %ine"330o: 5ell( considering all you'&e been through( I suspect you deser&e to tie on $ore than a fe% glasses

of %ine"3Christy shook her head" 3It %asn't the %ine at all" I %as trying to deal %ith an inspiration that had ;ust

co$e to $e( and I guess I got so caught up in it I see$ed absent$inded"3His face gre% sober" 3-h( yes:3 He folded his ar$s on the desk as if to achie&e a steadier focus"3Actually that's %hy I'$ here" I hadn't the courage to bring it up before" I kne% I %ould e$barrass us

both( and oh( ark( %hate&er you think( please try to understand"3His appraising glance glistened %ith so$ething that could ha&e been suspicion" 3+hoot(3 he said"+he breathed a prayer and $ade the plunge" 3I assu$e you are fa$iliar %ith the e&ents surrounding the

accident that killed $y nephe%:3He nodded" 3Your aunt filled $e in"330ot entirely( I e)pect" You see( I'$ responsible for little !a&y's death"3He stared in disbelief" 3


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Christy gripped the ar$s of the chair and continued( a tre$or in her &oice no%" 3I %ant to ha&e a childfor her( ark( a red headed baby( as $uch like !a&y as possible( and . 3 +he hesitated( unable to $eet his

probing ga e any longer"He leaned for%ard( his body suddenly tense" 3And:3 he de$anded"Her hands clenched the chair so tightly her ar$s ached to her shoulders" 35hat I'$ trying to say is . the

fa$ily rese$blance . your auburn hair . 3

A %a&e of astonish$ent crossed his face" 35ell( I'll be da$ned(3 he said /uietly" 3And you %ant me to be the father:3

+i) -0#H+ A


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A1#ER #HE -0#H+ of hard %ork and dedication in&ol&ed in preparing for her aster's recital( the daysthat follo%ed %ith Richard and Beth see$ed hea&enly( rela)ing around the backyard pool of their spaciousho$e" #here %ere &isits to the nearby college ca$pus( %here Richard taught biology( and e)cursions to thes$art Be&erly Hills shops %ith Aunt artha( %hose e)uberance %as a tonic Christy %ould ha&e liked to

bottle and take ho$e %ith her"

-ne fla% $arred the perfection of the &isit2 Beth sho%ed a disturbing tendency to o&erprotect her son"Christy rationali ed that her sister %as reacting to the hysterecto$y" +urely she %ould get o&er it" +till( ifBeth continued( e&entually the burden %ould be too great for a little boy to handle"

-ne e&ening they all planned to go to a play at the college( but at the last $inute Beth re;ected the girlRichard called to stay %ith !a&y" #here had been so$e tense $o$ents as Beth insisted she %ould not lea&e!a&y %ith anyone but rs" artin( their usual sitter" Richard pointed out to no a&ail that the neighbor girl%as %ell kno%n to the$ and e)perienced %ith young children"

Later( %hen Beth left the roo$ to put !a&y to bed( Richard discussed the proble$ %ith Christy"3I understand %hy she's concerned( but I'$ afraid it's getting out of hand(3 he said" #he bleak look in his

eyes sho%ed his %orry"In the days that follo%ed( Beth t%ice kept !a&y ho$e fro$ his su$$er nursery,school session"3Chicken po) is going around(3 she e)plained"3You $ean so$e of !a&y's class$ates are do%n %ith it:335ell( of course a nursery school %ould be a perfect place to pick up so$ething like that(3 Beth said(

a&oiding a direct ans%er"3I agree that you shouldn't e)pose hi$( but don't e)pect to shield hi$ fore&er fro$ childhood diseases"

#ry not to build a fence around your son( darling"33!on't fuss( Chris" You'll be here such a short ti$e" I %ant you to ha&e plenty of ti$e to get ac/uainted

%ith your nephe%"3 And truly so$e of Christy's happiest hours %ere those she spent %ith young !a&y"#ousled red curls( a +teele trait( topped a freckled face that %ore a perpetual s$ile"

3A perfect $odel for a Hu$$el(3 Christy said as she ro$ped %ith hi$"3Yes( isn't he73 Beth cried" Her eyes glea$ed %ith a ski$ of $oisture as %ords hung bet%een the$

unspoken" No more babies, Christy. No more babies.

# HE 1ABRIC -1 #HEIR !AY+ stretched %ithout a ripple until al$ost the end of her &isit" Beth and Richard%ere due at a late,afternoon reception for a colleague at >"C"L"A" Aunt artha( %ho li&ed in nearby5est%ood( planned a fa$ily dinner after%ard( and Christy and !a&y %ould dri&e o&er in ti$e to ;oin the$"

#he day da%ned cloudy in spite of southern California's confident habit of uninterrupted Augustsunshine( and as Beth and Richard prepared to lea&e( rain began to fall" Beth took off her coat"

3I'll stay %ith !a&y(3 she announced" 3He shouldn't go out in this rain" He's not used to it" I'll call Auntartha and e)plain"3

Christy looked at her sister in surprise( and Richard protested /uietly that it looked like a brief su$$ersho%er" #heir con&ersation held a threadbare /uality as though it had been repeated once too often"

3 y goodness( Beth( this is nothing" I'll dress !a&y %ar$ly( and he'll be fine(3 Christy said" 35e oughtnot to disappoint Aunt artha on our last night together" You kno% %hat a big thing she $akes o&er fa$ilydinners"3

Real concern edged Beth's &oice" 3I'$ afraid he'll catch cold" Children's illnesses flare /uickly( youkno%"3

3!on't let yourself gro% paranoid( darling" You don't %ant to beco$e one of those obno)ious o&er, protecti&e $others( do you:3 Christy argued"

Beth glanced at her son( then back to Christy as if she %ere a trapped ani$al" 3I suppose you're right"But you shouldn't bla$e $e for being cautious"

After all( he's the only child I'll e&er ha&e" I really prefer to stay ho$e %ith hi$"3Christy felt torn as she looked at Beth's forlorn e)pression" *erhaps she ought not to insist after all" Aunt

artha %ould probably understand" All too %ell( she thought sadly" !a&y hopped i$patiently at her side(an)ious to begin the pro$ised e)cursion" Christy looked do%n at his eager little( face and $ade up her$ind"

3!on't be a %orry%art( Beth"


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on $e" I'll take good care of our !a&y"3Richard flashed Christy a grateful s$ile and hurried to bring the car around" Christy uneasily reali ed

she and Beth still fell into their girlhood pattern %here Christy often $ade final decisions" Beth's shouldersdrooped so pathetically as she ga&e !a&y a fare%ell hug that Christy %ondered again if she hadn't acted toohigh,handedly" +till( she defended herself( foundations ought to be laid( or Beth %ould s$other her child"

Later she bundled !a&y into his rain gear( lifted the laughing child into her ar$s and bolted through the

sho%er to the car" #hey dro&e through tree,lined suburbs and soon reached the $ain thoroughfare" !a&yhappily %aggled his head to ape the %indshield %ipers and clapped his hands like a cherubic $etrono$e"+he s$iled at his capers and felt encouraged about the %isdo$ of their s$all e)cursion"

#he stor$ increased( and the %ipers barely $aintained &isibility" +he slo%ed to a cra%l as she passedse&eral stalled cars" +he $ust dri&e carefully" It see$ed southern California streets could not acco$$odatesuch a hea&y do%npour" +he tested the brakes %hen she halted for a traffic signal" +o far( all right" #he lightchanged to green( and she crept into the intersection" +uddenly an air horn blared sa&agely" It %as follo%ed

by the earsplitting shriek of brakes" A huge truck skidded( t%isted and slithered to%ard her like an enragedside%inder"

In an a&alanche of terror she %renched the %heel %ith all her strength" A split second later ca$e thehorrendous crunch of steel on steel( and she felt the car upend in a cart%heel of fire%orks( shattering glassand ;agged light" #hen e&erything turned to darkness"

CHAPTER TWO

- 0 A 5AR +E*#E BER !AY al$ost a $onth later Richard and Beth had dri&en Christy ho$e fro$ thehospital" #he effects of concussion %ere o&er( but her fractured ankle %ould ha&e to re$ain in a cast for atleast another $onth" #he gray apprehension that filled her contrasted cruelly %ith the golden autu$n ha ethat %ashed the /uiet street %here they li&ed" +trange that e&erything looked the sa$e"

Richard and Beth had &isited her often in the hospital( and although grief sho%ed plainly( Christydetected no reproach" In a %ay( that $ade the pain deeper" Aunt artha( dear soul( tried hard to lift herspirits" +he arri&ed al$ost daily( s%eeping into the antiseptic little roo$ as though acco$panied by afanfare( filling it instantly %ith elegant scent and cheerful prattle"

But in the %eeks that follo%ed( it see$ed as if they put on $asks and $o&ed in a gri$ pa&ane danced bystrangers" #he death pheno$enon had gutted their e)istence" Christy felt po%erless to do anything about it"+he gre% tense( and her shoulders ached all the ti$e" +he %atched Richard seek solace in %ork" He added aseries of night,school lectures to his teaching schedule and then filled %eekends %ith so $any field tripsthat he spent little ti$e at ho$e"

Beth had changed in so$e nebulous %ay"


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3!a&y73 she screa$ed in terror as the dark curtain split to free her $e$ory" 5here %as !a&y: Her littlenephe% had been strapped securely in his seat beside her in the car" 5here %as he no%: +he tried to thrusta leg o&er the side of the bed( but her body felt leaden and stiff" 3!a&y73 #he shrill hysteria of her crytriggered running feet" A nurse grasped her shoulders and eased her back into bed" A tall $an loo$edsuddenly at her side"

3I'$ !r" Hill( iss +teele(3 he said cal$ly %hile the nurse arranged her co&erlet" 3You ha&e sur&i&ed a

serious accident" You are co$ing along %ell( but it is essential that you re$ain /uiet for a %hile"3Accident7 #he %ord honed the $e$ory frag$ent into a terrible truth" #he pale green roo$ ca$e intofocus( and the little radio on the bedside table concluded Beetho&en's +i)th( the *astorale"

3!a&y's dead(3 she said nu$bly"3I'$ sorry( a tragedy(3 he said" 3Your car %as totaled" It's a $iracle that you sur&i&ed"33 iracle7 y


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baby for you" I'$ not going back to $y $usic nor to 0e% York until I find a child" If I don't succeed inCalifornia( I'll try other states"3

Beth shook her head" 3I can't let you do that(3 she said sadly" 3E&en if you located a baby( aren't youforgetting $y $edical record: I'd ne&er pass the re/uire$ents for an adopti&e parent"3

Christy stared at her sister( appalled" 3But you said the $alignancy hadn't spread" You are %ell( aren'tyou:3

Beth shrugged" 3-f course" But in all cases such as $ine( final clearance isn't gi&en for se&en or eightyears"3Eight years7 Christy tried to absorb the stupefying fact" 3Couldn't %e %ork through a physician

pri&ately: I'&e heard of that"3Beth stood up in a gesture of dis$issal" 3I lo&e you for trying( but no( darling"3Christy %ould ha&e felt better if Beth had slapped her or shouted" But the desolate s$ile( the resigned

e)pression shut her out co$pletely" +he didn't kno% ho% to handle that kind of retreat"#he telephone rang then like a referee signaling an end to their painful discussion" Beth %alked to

ans%er( her shoulders held too straight( an actress in an uncon&incing role" +he chatted a fe% $inutes( thenco&ered the $outhpiece %ith her pal$"

3It's Aunt artha(3 she said" 3+he %ants us to co$e to a little dinner party +aturday night" +he's &ery persuasi&e" 5hat do you think:3

-ther than their s$all fa$ily get,togethers( Christy hadn't attended a single social function since she'dco$e ho$e fro$ the hospital" It see$ed an eternity" *erhaps if she got in touch %ith the %orld again( shecould learn to li&e %ith herself" Christy nodded" 3I think %e should go"3

Aunt artha re$ained the closestperson to a parent she had kno%n in her orphaned life" 5hen Christyreached her ;unior year in high school( Aunt artha retired fro$ her longti$e position as personnel$anager for a chain of depart$ent stores( took an apart$ent in 5est%ood and dedicated her custo$ary&er&e to%ard $aking a ho$e for her t%o" nieces" +he sa% Beth through a couple of years at >"C"L"A"introduced her to 3that darling *rofessor Chishol$3 and e)pertly orchestrated their %edding" In the$eanti$e( Christy had %on her scholarship to 4uilliard and $o&ed to 0e% York"

Christy thought about her neglected %ardrobe" 3!id Aunt artha say ho% $any guests she'd in&ited:330o" +he'll probably ha&e her usual potpourri( e)cept she did $ention ark Brandon"335ho is he:33-ne of !ouglas Enterprises' bright young e)ecuti&es and a special fa&orite of Aunt artha's" You

probably kne% his %ife in high school" !arcy 1arrell9re$e$ber her: #hey %ere recently di&orced"3!arcy 1arrell" -f course" #he taffy blonde %ith the enchanting s$ile( star of the dra$a depart$ent(

pro$ /ueen( cheerleader( ad infinitu$" +he $ust ha&e been a couple of years older than Christy( and shehad had the ulti$ate distinction of belonging to the 3in3 group( according to that $ysterious shuffling byadolescents that segregates peer groups as rigidly as caste syste$s" At the ti$e Christy fer&ently en&iedtheir cur&aceous figures( their casual chic and the %orldly sophistication %ith %hich they cut a class" ostof all( she longed for a little of their sparkle and self,confidence" As a $ousy $e$ber of the school honorsociety( $ore co$fortable %ith adults than her class$ates( she kne% /uite %ell she had no opportunity to

beco$e a $e$ber of !arcy's select circle" 0o% she regarded her adolescent &alues %ith tolerance" >ntil the tragedy of little !a&y splintered her

life( she had gro%n basically co$fortable %ith herself( still bookish perhaps( but she lo&ed books" +he ranher life by the$"

35hat happened to !arcy's $arriage:3 she asked( hauling herself a%ay fro$ her $e$ories"Beth shrugged" 35ho kno%s: ark %as si) years her senior" +he $arried at nineteen and had a baby

right a%ay" 0ot ready for do$esticity( I e)pect( or possibly too i$$ature"3

A picture of the !arcy that Christy recalled( pro;ecting an i$age of i$$aturity( struck her as highlyincongruous" 3H$$(3 she said" 3-ur darling auntie %ouldn't %ant to act the $atch$aker again:3

A shado% of a s$ile touched Beth's lips" 3-rdinarily( yes( but in ark's case( I think it hardly likely"Actually this is supposed to be a fare%ell party for hi$" I understand he's lea&ing soon for northernCalifornia to take o&er a ne% ;ob"3

#hat pro&ed co$forting infor$ation" Christy did not yet feel ready to cope %ith any of Aunt artha's bright young $en"

+he chose for the occasion her long pink %ool knit %ith a $atching ;acket( hoping the ;acket %ouldconceal the %eight she'd lost" And $aybe her cheeks %ould reflect its %ar$ color" +he stared into the$irror" A$a ing ho% a person could $ask pain" -nly her unusually thin face sho%ed %hat she'd been


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through" +he brushed her eyelids %ith shado% and added $ascara to her lashes( but this touch see$ed onlyto e$phasi e the %an aspect of her co$ple)ion( so she %ashed it off"

+uddenly grief o&er%hel$ed her" +he sank do%n on the bed and held her head in her hands" Ho% couldshe attend a party and act as if nothing had changed: *eople %ould s$ile and engage in ci&il e&asions"

3Hello( Christy( ho% are you:3 they %ould ask( and all the %hile they %ould think2 *oor thing7 I$agineha&ing that on your conscience for the rest of your life"

Richard called that he %ould bring the car around" et hold of yourself, Christy, she ad$onished andhurriedly patched up her $akeup"It took only $inutes to dri&e o&er( and they soon $ade their %ay up the ornate %rought,iron stair%ay"

Aunt artha hugged the$ effusi&ely and dre% the$ inside her ne%ly decorated apart$ent" -rangecarpeting( this ti$e( Christy noted( and enough hanging plants to &ie %ith an arboretu$"

Beth and Richard ;oined the other guests( but Christy re$ained in the bedroo$ after she shed her coat"+he s$oothed out a %rinkle in her dress" #he dinner go%n see$ed appropriate enough an hour ago( butno% it looked li$p and a little do%dy" +he fussed %ith her hair and listened to the fluctuating dyna$ics ofthe con&ersation in the ne)t roo$" +he $ust ;oin the party before so$eone $issed her" !top

procrastinating, she told herself" It's time you coped with the person you've become. "ou probably willnever again meet others without this sense of strangeness, no matter how time eases the hurt.

+he %alked to the li&ing roo$ and stood for a $o$ent by a giant tropical plant" 4ust like so$e ani$alsniffing out the territory( she thought and %ondered %hat role Aunt artha had assigned her( as if she didn'tkno%" Aunt artha usually arranged her guest lists %ith as $uch forethought as she de&oted to her gour$etdishes( balancing the talkers against the listeners( usually including a harle/uin for spice( so$eone of

pro$inence to create a center of interest and in&ariably so$eone ne% to pro&ide the $ystery ingredient"#onight( %ith only si)( she de&iated fro$ the for$ula" -nly Aunt artha's neighbor !r" !aniel and the

guest of honor %ere not fa$ily" -ne could trust Aunt artha to arrange a tactful stepping,stone to pa&e hernieces' %ay back into society"

Beth sat in a terra,cotta,flo%ered chair %ith a glass of cha$pagne in her hand" Richard stood behind her(e&er the guardian angel" Beth postured creditably the attenti&e listener( but her face %ore that $ask again .

pale and forlorn( %ith a pasted,on s$ile"Christy %inced and turned her ga e to the tall $an standing by the fireplace" +o this %as ark Brandon(

the guest of honor" He re$ained the only person in the roo$ she didn't kno%" Beth had said he %asthirtyish( but his face %as rather deeply lined for so$eone that age( or $aybe it only appeared so in thefirelight" -ddly at this distance he looked enough like her o%n fa$ily to clai$ $e$bership2 the spareathletic fra$e that indicated he $ight ;og si) $iles e&ery $orning before breakfast8 the auburn hair cut%ith $odish fullness( the sa$e color as her o%n( $aybe a shade darker8 and the sa$e strong chin" Alle)cept his height( of course" #he +teeles %ere s$all people"

Christy took in the assured %ay he gestured as he spoke to Richard" Beth had described hi$ %ithaccuracy( all right" -ne needn't look t%ice to identify hi$ as one of !ouglas Enterprises' bright young $en"But there %as so$ething else" -ne didn't notice it at first( and e&en no% she $ight i$agine it" It hadso$ething to do %ith the pure essence of integrity( as though he kne% ho% to sort out &alues and re;ect theinferior choice" +he didn't feel reluctant to $eet hi$ after all" If she kept co$pany %ith enough strong,$inded people( perhaps she could edge into the pattern" An irrational hope( of course" +he $ust con;ure up

purpose for herself( the kind that sang through one's &eins like a &ital $elody( so she could do %hat $ust bedone"

#hen Aunt artha sailed o&er( her flo%ing green caftan shot through %ith sapphire like the plu$age ofso$e e)otic bird"

3Co$e( darling(3 she said and dre% Christy o&er to the fireplace" 3Christy( ark Brandon" I'&e %anted to

get you t%o redheads together for a long ti$e( and of course( you kno% e&eryone else"3*leasantries %ere e)changed( and !r" !aniel busied hi$self adding a log to the fire" Aunt artha drafted

Beth to help %ith the hors d'oeu&res( and ark poured cha$pagne"He lifted his glass" 3Cheers to the lady in pink(3 he said %ith a s$ile" A safe innocuous toast( she thought

and kne% she had ne&er seen eyes so deeply blue" #he fa$ily rese$blance she noted earlier certainly didnot include the eyes"

3#hank you(3 she said" 3And I hear congratulations are in order on your ne% ;ob"3His s$ile t%isted" 3I'$ afraid not" As of this afternoon I found $yself out of the picture"3+he read keen disappoint$ent and felt regret at her unfortunate salute" 3I'$ sorry(3 she $ur$ured"He shrugged" 3I guess I'll li&e(3 he said" 3#he ;ob pro;ection %as only for a year( but it represented a


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challenge I'd ha&e gi&en anything to accept"3Christy sipped her cha$pagne and tried to think of so$e diplo$atic reply" He had an interesting face(

this ark Brandon" A $o$ent ago his eyes had glistened %ith the e)cite$ent of a s$all boy e)a$ining a pri e toy" 0o% he fenced her out( his e)pression stern( and yet she sensed &ulnerability there"

3I'$ a $achinery buff(3 he continued" 3+o this ;ob co$bined the best of t%o %orlds for $e" oreo&er(an Australian co$pany %ill $onitor the &enture and has pro$ised to hire the director at the end of the year

to set up a si$ilar franchise chain in their country" #hat's the part that really hurts"33I can understand( particularly %hen I hear of your e)cellent /ualifications(3 she said"He set his glass do%n %ith the kind of guarded look that $ade her %onder if she had said so$ething

unpardonable"3?ualifications: All e)cept one(3 he said dryly" 3Apparently the &ice,president in charge of franchise

operations %as una%are of $y di&orce" You see( +a$ !ouglas prefers to use husband,and,%ife tea$s in hisfranchise ga$e"3

+o his di&orce $ade for double bitterness( she thought" Aunt artha interrupted the$ to offer a tray ofstea$ing $ushroo$s" Her sharp ears had caught the con&ersation"

3-h( that +a$ !ouglas7 5hy doesn't so$eone alert hi$ that this is the t%entieth century:3ark grinned" 3 ada$( I no$inate you as a co$$ittee of one"3+he urged hi$ to take another $ushroo$" 35ell( young $an( the $ountain could go to uha$$ad"3He popped another $ushroo$ into his $outh and s%allo%ed it" 3 y dear artha( but of course" 5ill

you do $e the honor:3Aunt artha pinched his cheek affectionately" 3I$pudent young cuss7 Ask $e again %hen I'$ forty

years younger(3 she said and $o&ed on to ser&e the others"3+o you'll be staying here( after all(3 Christy said"He fro%ned slightly" 3-h( no" 0e&er say !ouglas Enterprises doesn't take care of its o%n" I understand

that %hen r" !ouglas arri&es ne)t %eek( I'$ to be offered the $anage$ent of the #e)as office"33#hat's /uite a pro$otion" Is there anything %rong %ith that:33Cattle( iss +teele( cattle73 he said bitterly"At that $o$ent Aunt artha announced dinner( and as usual( her table ri&aled the illustrations in a

gour$et $aga ine" A sil&er epergne filled %ith deep pink roses and baby's breath for$ed the centerpiece onthe pink da$ask cloth" Crea$y Lenno) china and cranberry crystal sparkled in the candlelight" #hey foundtheir places( and Christy felt surprised to disco&er she had a real appetite for the e)/uisitely prepared food"

+he e&en basked in the flattery of an attenti&e listener as she told ark Brandon about her student years(her $usic and her belo&ed +tein%ay so far a%ay" +he kne% full %ell she %as being encouraged to talkabout herself on Aunt artha's e)plicit instructions" 0e&ertheless( so$ething %as getting through to her"#he gna%ing ache of !a&y's death re$ained close to the surface( but she could still go through the $otionsof a gracious guest %ithout plaguing others %ith her pri&ate feelings"

Little tongues of blue fire licked briefly at their cherries ;ubilee( and they lingered o&er coffee ser&ed inthe lo&ely opa/ue cups" Aunt artha accepted their accolades( then led the$ to the li&ing roo$ %hereark and Beth pounced on an unfinished cross%ord pu le that lay %ith so$e books"

3E&eryone pitch in(3 ark ordered" He found a pencil" 35e need a child of the streets" 1i&e letters"33


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finished the pu le %ithout further attention to her" -nly ark continued to look at her /ui ically fro$ti$e to ti$e" +he %alked o&er to study a &i&id


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at last"3-h( no73 she cried" 3I don't %ant $arriage" You'&e totally $isunderstood" It's true that I %ant you to9to

sire the child"3 +he choked o&er the %ords" 3But you need ne&er see $e again" I'll not re&eal your na$e(e&er" I'll sign a release or %hate&er you %ant" I plan to go out of state during $y pregnancy and not tellBeth the truth e&en %hen I gi&e her the baby"3

ark stared( incredulous" 3I can't belie&e this73 he e)clai$ed and shot her a look that turned her face on

fire" +he'd had her say and not said it %ell" He rose and paced the roo$ t%ice( then sat do%n on the edge ofthe desk to confront her"3Christy(3 he said /uietly" 3You of all people7 5hat featherbrained sche$e ha&e you concocted: I

couldn't let you chase across the country(


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He took his ti$e $unching the ;uicy apple" 3I often co$e here for a breather(3 he said innocently" 3I findthe co$pany of the gulls therapeutic" 5atch73 He tossed out a slice of the apple"

#he birds di&ed in frantic unison( but one large gull s/uatted o$inously( ruffled its feathers into afearso$e hu$p( then bulldo ed its %ay through the flock( screeching outrageously until it grabbed, the fruitfor itself"

3Brute force in action(3 ark co$$ented" Christy noticed a ti$id bird edging its %ay around the flock(

$aking ineffectual $o&e$ents( and she thre% it a tidbit" It snatched the pri e but dropped it at the firstchallenger"30o self,confidence(3 ark said" 3


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said testily"Christy felt eager to clarify her position" 35hat you $ust understand is that this is a special

circu$stance in no %ay related to true $arriage" I consider $yself $erely a biological &ehicle" I don't planto in&est e$otion in this act" 5hen it's o&er( I shall regard it as a closed chapter( a locked roo$"3

ark shook his head" 3You're $ore nai&e than I i$agined if you belie&e in that kind of detach$ent"330ot nai&e" I belie&e in ruling %ith the head( ob;ecti&ity( intellectual discipline or %hate&er you %ant to

call it"33H$$(3 he $uttered thoughtfully" 3I'&e had the other e)tre$e( you kno%( %ith a for$idable lack ofsuccess"3 1or a $o$ent his e)pression turned re$ote( and he shut her a%ay %hile he d%elled in pri&ate$e$ories" He got up and stepped o&er to the fountain and see$ed to concentrate on its bubbling %aters fora %hile( then straightened" 3After $y po$pous little lecture on $orals and $oti&es this $orning( I suspect$y proposal strikes you as pretty da$n hypocritical"3

3You'&e lost $e(3 she said"35hy not skip the intellectuali ing and ;ust consider the proposal:3Christy stared blankly as a thought sei ed her" #his ne% tack $ight not be as obli/ue as it sounded" 3Are

you trying to say that a %ife could $ake a difference in your ;ob at this late date:33You $ay belie&e I %ant that 5est Coast position $ore than any opportunity I'&e e&er sought in $y

entire life( in particular the Australian $anagership that follo%s"33And it had been pro$ised to you:331or the past $onth I thought it %as in the bag"33But for a $atter of di&orce:33You ha&e to reali e that +a$ !ouglas is a $an %ho cherishes his fetishes" #his particular ;ob in&ol&es

setting up rental,e/uip$ent centers on a franchise basis in the %estern states" 1or the $ost part( the businesses are s$all and fa$ily operated" A $odel !ouglas Rent,All Center is located in +an 1elipe near+an 1rancisco" Head/uarters %ould be there"3

ark's face gre% ani$ated" 3In&ariably the %i&es co$e along %ith their husbands to learn about thesetup( and +a$ holds the old,fashioned notion that deals can be consu$$ated $ore effecti&ely o&er a fe%drinks and a ho$e,cooked $eal than in an office" A husband,and,%ife tea$ set up +a$'s first successfulfranchise years ago( and he's sung the sa$e tune e&er since in spite of the stunning inno&ations I'&e

proposed"33But for so$eone %ho is able to read a cookbook and dust the furniture( the ;ob is yours:3His eyebro%s lifted in a$use$ent" 3+a$ !ouglas is a stubborn $an"33#he secretary $entioned your conference %ith hi$ this $orning" suppose he %as still ada$ant:3ark looked at her oddly" 3Let's ;ust say that if I told hi$ about a bride in the offing( +a$ !ouglas

%ould lay on blessings that %ouldn't stop"33And the Australians:3 she asked" 3!o they ha&e this sa$e connubial re/uire$ent:3He shook his head" 30o9%hich adds up to a frustrating situation"3Her pulse began to race" A certain arrange$ent $ight be possible that could benefit the$ both" #he ti$e

factor appeared fa&orable enough" -ne year %ould gi&e her ti$e to get pregnant and allo% ark to take the ;ob he %anted so $uch" +he caught his sur&eillance( /uestioning( $easuring"

35hat's perking in that head of yours:3 he asked"3I'&e been $ulling o&er your proposal"3 +he spoke slo%ly( testing each %ord lest the tenuous try at

co$$unication break again" 3I belie&e such a contract 5ould %ork"33Contract733Yes(3 she said and felt as though so$eone had ;ust thro%n her a lifeline" 3I %ould prefer to call it a

contract rather than a $arriage" It %ould be $ore honest" -f course( %e can go through a ci&il cere$ony for

society's sake" A year's ti$e %ill allo% each of us to achie&e our indi&idual goals" #hen the contract can beter$inated( no strings attached73

3A$a ing( if not crassly self,ser&ing7335ell( aren't $ost goals achie&ed through selfish $eans:3 she argued" 35hy not call it dedication:33You baffle $e(3 he said" 3Besides( you think off center" I'$ afraid I'$ no sparring partner in your ga$e

of se$antics"33You're $aking so$ething co$ple) out of this situation( and it's really /uite si$ple"33Is it:3 he asked( and his eyes glea$ed %ickedly" 3You're a &ery attracti&e young %o$an" +uppose . 33If you're asking %hether the contract includes %hat is euphe$istically referred to as '$arital rights(' it

does(3 she interrupted"


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3Considering the scenario( I hadn't i$agined you intended to in&oke i$$aculate conception(3 hedra%led"

+he blushed furiously" 3I'$ speaking for the entire period of the contract"3ark see$ed to assess her confusion and again gre% serious" 3Has it occurred to you that such an

arrange$ent $ight lead to a certain e$otional in&ol&e$ent: Yes( yes( I kno%( 'E$otions can beintellectually disciplined"' 3

Christy ignored the sarcas$" 3Right( and it's essential that %e follo% through" *erhaps %e should %ritethat into the contract and notari e it( or %hate&er one does %ith contracts"3He thre% up his hands in a hopeless gesture" 3!a$$it( Christy( you're unbelie&able7 5hy lock oursel&es

into so$ething that $ight change: I think you should face up to the fact that you'&e had a pretty hea&y tripthis past year( and you $ay co$e to ha&e second thoughts about this sche$e of yours" +peaking for $yself(I'd like us to consider a lasting $arriage" All the potentials are present"3

Christy shook her head" 3You still don't understand( do you: -ur concern in this instance is not for asuccessful $arriage( only a successful contract" A successful $arriage %ould pro&e a detri$ent" #hinkabout it" #he child is pro$ised to other parents" At the end of the year I intend to go back to $y $usic in

0e% York( and you'll be free for your foreign &entures" 5e $ust re$ain single,$inded"3He sighed and took his seat beside her on the bench again" 3I don't kno%" #his contract thing of yours

see$s a pretty tall order" I'$ not sure I'$ up to it"33#hink of it as a business partnership(3 she said( eager to e)plain a%ay his reser&ations"He banged his fist on the bench" 35ith a contract for a security blanket against acting like a hu$an

being7 !oesn't this theory of yours lea&e any roo$ for ad&enture( spontaneity( risk( a little sharing of one'sself: I do take it %e're allo%ed to speak to each other(3 he said dryly" 3Let's see if I ha&e this straight2 5e$ust not in&est any part of oursel&es in this partnership( no real inti$acy e)cept on a purely physicalle&el"3 He put his hands on her shoulders and roughly turned her to face hi$" 3+ure you can cope %iththat:3

Christy's face burned( but she nodded e$phatically" Focus on the goal, she re$inded herself" motionsare capricious and have to be ignored in this e(perience.

He stared at her for a $o$ent( then released her" 3I $ust get back to the office8 You run along ho$e%hile I i$part our stunning ne%s to +a$ !ouglas and plan the strategy for our %hirl%ind courtship"3

#hey left the little park in an uneasy silence( and Christy felt like a child %ho'd ;ust had its handsslapped and been sent off for a nap" #hey stood selfconsciously %hile she fu$bled for her keys"

+uddenly ark reached for her hand and grasped it so fir$ly she %inced" 3It's agreed( then:3 he asked(his deep blue eyes as re$ote as a stranger's"

3Agreed(3 Christy ans%ered" #heir pact %as sealed"He %alked briskly a%ay" Her fingers felt bruised and her feelings( as %ell" #here see$ed so $uch $ore

they both should ha&e said"

CHAPTER FOUR

E#H-!ICAL *LA00I0< ca$e as easily to Christy as slipping on an old pair of shoes" +he supposed herco$pulsion for $aking lists( records( schedules and the like sho%ed the occupational ha ard of a %orrier or$aybe a perfectionist" 0e&ertheless( she cra&ed the peace of $ind that resulted fro$ orderliness" E&en in$usic( art and literature( it %as for$ and structure that fascinated her" 0o %onder she had an affinity forBach" *erhaps such concern sho%ed a longing for the security she'd lacked in her life" ake a plan( and

e&erything %ill turn out all right"But this ti$e she found herself in a predica$ent" Ho% could she e)plain to Beth and Richard that she%as going to $arry a $an she'd barely $et: +he agoni ed o&er e)planations( tested the$ for logic andine&itably thre% the$ out" +he needn't ha&e %orried" ark Brandon e$erged as a take,charge guy %ithenough plans for the ne)t couple of %eeks to $ake their decision look plausible"

He called %hile she still ste%ed o&er the proble$( his $ood far re$o&ed fro$ that of the re$ote $anfro$ %ho$ she parted only yesterday"

3You o%e $e so$e getting,ac/uainted ti$e(3 he said easily" 3I'll pick you up for dinner" #here's a ne% place in 5est -aks that ser&es $ar&elous chiles rellenos)

A$a ing( she thought" 0ot 3%ould you care to go out(3 but 3I'll pick you up"3 +he %as finding out about


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r" Brandon( fast"Across an alco&ed candlelit table( to the acco$pani$ent of a strolling guitarist( she learned about ark's

background and later %eighed its rele&ancy to their co$ing year together" He graduated fro$ >"C"L"A" a business $a;or( $arried !arcy t%o years later and al$ost i$$ediately stepped into the Los Angeles officeof !ouglas Enterprises" He spoke briefly of his di&orce( %hich %as final last su$$er( and the deepdisappoint$ent of not %inning custody of his little daughter( Carol"

3 artha probably told you all about it(3 he said"Christy looked at his chin" It %as fir$( but a little too pro$inent" 30o $ore than you'&e ;ust $entioned"33It %as one of those $eaningful little affairs right under $y unsuspecting nose" 5ell( she $arried the

guy . +pencer 1ree$an( a theatrical agent"33I'$ sorry(3 Christy said"3It's o&er and done %ith"3+o$ething about the sensiti&e turn of his $outh $ade her %onder if that %as true"3I'&e thought a lot about this artistic thing(3 he continued" 3!ra$a( $usic and all that" It $ust be an

obsession" 1or her the stage %as abo&e all else" You're a pianist( Christy" 5ill you take off after a $onth ort%o:3

+he stared at hi$ in surprise" 1or the first ti$e she sa% that so$e things %ounded as deeply as death"Re;ection( for e)a$ple" 3!on't %orry" I'll not run off %ith the tuba player" 5e ha&e a contract( re$e$ber:3

He looked as if she'd suddenly du$ped a load of bricks on hi$"3Co$e on( +eftor Brandon( don't tell $e you don't ha&e an obsession or t%o( besides your passion for

e)ican food( of course" I'll bet you s$oke a s$elly pipe or at least lea&e your dirty socks under the bed"3He grinned" 3You'd better belie&e it( and not only that( I crack the %hip any ti$e the te$po lags"33Aha( I'll keep that in $ind"3He asked her about the years in boarding school then( and she tried to keep the %istfulness fro$ her

&oice as she described the ne% piano she'd barely touched and the ;ob she'd had to resign" +he had noreticence in discussing this public side of herself but gre% %ary and e&asi&e %hen it ca$e to re&ealing the

pri&ate person %ho %ould fore&er carry the burden of a little boy's death"It hadn't been her habit to burden others %ith her proble$s but to bury the$ deep inside until she could

deal %ith the$" +he supposed this so$eti$es $ade her appear aloof and preoccupied( but that see$ed better than pro;ecting the$ onto her friends like a slide sho%" +he undoubtedly fell into the pattern early"

In the boarding school %here pri&acy sur&i&ed as the e)ception( Christy sought strength in solitude" Her pleasures beca$e her piano( her books( her co$posing" Co$pany %as ine&itable( but it needn't de$and thesharing of one's pri&ate self" By the ti$e she reached 4uilliard( she felt that she $ust handle %hate&er life

presented %ithout relying on the in&ol&e$ent of others"+uddenly she %ondered if her lack of e)perience %ith $en %ould handicap her in this ne% relationship"

Already she sa% facets of her character of %hich she'd scarcely been a%are" +he'd gro%n up in a girls'school %ithout a father( and in her entire life she'd had only one serious lo&e affair" It had pro&ed al$ost

painfully pristine and one,sided" A secret passion for her piano teacher( +andor 0agy( lasted $ost of hercollege sopho$ore year" 5hen he finally recogni ed her 3little proble$(3 as he na$ed it( he dis$issed it asa $ere schoolgirl crush and lectured her that a serious pianist had no ti$e for such distractions"

+oon after that she %as de&astated to learn of +an,dor's affair %ith a graduate &oice student" +hechanged teachers then and structured her life to a&oid any further serious in&ol&e$ent( not that such acourse pro&ed difficult" Hours of practice( lengthy rehearsals and the all,consu$ing energy de$anded forfre/uent public perfor$ances left ti$e for nothing $ore co$plicated than an occasional date %ith a fello%$usician( usually to so$e ca$pus concert"

But the %ounds of +andor's re;ection %ent deep" Ro$ance( she decided( should be regarded as a surfeit

of pleasurable but inessential calories" +o no% %ith ark it see$ed that not only $ust she learn to deal%ith a co$ple) ne% indi&idual( but %ith her o%n reactions( as %ell"

CHRI+#Y HA! BARELY 1I0I+HE! her breakfast the ne)t $orning %hen ark called %ith another in&itation"3#here's an art sho% and %ine tasting tonight at a local gallery" A friend is sho%ing a sculpture" I

pro$ised to look in" Care to ;oin $e:3At least he asked her this ti$e( e&en though it sounded a little like a co$$and" Ho%e&er( the kno%ing

s$iles e)changed by Richard and Beth out%eighed any sensiti&ity o&er his pere$ptory approach"ark kne% a nu$ber of persons at the gallery and see$ed a$used at her confusion %hen he first


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introduced her as his fiancee"+he gasped" 3But I ha&en't e&en told Beth and Richard7330o: 5ell( %e $ust get around to that(3 he dra%led as if they had all the ti$e in the %orld" #hen he held

her hand as they strolled around the e)hibit"+he supposed he thought they $ust sho% the e)pected facade( but she felt ill at ease and hoped

desperately her hand %ouldn't gro% cla$$y"

#hey paused before a huge can&as painted a solid angry red %ith a dripping line of black slashed acrossthe center" +he( scanned the title( #ho's *fraid of +ed 3I think I $ust ha&e been du$ped off so$e%here inthe last century %ith &an


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he ne&er had"3#hey finished their %ine( and Christy found herself laughing no% at ark's teasing instead of

e)periencing the o&ersensiti&e reactions she'd had at first" He laughed a lot( too( and %hen they got into thecar to go ho$e( she kne% they could be friends( an asset in the year to co$e"

+he settled back in the seat( and they dro&e in co$fortable silence" 5hether due to the %ine or theessence of the e&ening( she felt $ore lighthearted than she had in $onths" He didn't speak until he turned

into her dri&e%ay"3 y daughter( Carol( $ay be %ith us occasionally in +an 1elipe" I'd like you t%o to get ac/uainted" I'&e pro$ised Carol an outing" 5hy don't %e $ake a day of it and &isit the +an !iego Zoo on +unday:3

Christy felt his glance gauge her reaction" Christy +teele( step$other" #he thought ;olted her" 5hat kindof child did a handso$e couple like ark and !arcy ha&e:

3I'll fi) a picnic(3 she said s$oothly" E)cept for so$e ti$e spent %ith a fe% young piano pupils and the precious %eeks %ith !a&y( she had little e)perience around young children and felt ner&ous about theencounter"

+he thought about ark's little daughter often during the days before the e)cursion and eluded herselffor her apprehension" After all( she'd only see Carol once in a %hile" +he ought to be able to handle that"

In the $eanti$e she /uietly pursued her %edding preparations and supposed Beth assu$ed her fre/uenttrips to to%n as looking for a ;ob" #hat %as fine for the $o$ent" +he %asn't ready yet to announce plans forthe sudden $arriage" +he checked re/uire$ents for the courthouse cere$ony and shopped for so$e ne%clothes" +he found a dressy suit for her %edding day and began to sort through the fe% belongings she'dasse$bled during her stay %ith Beth and Richard"

- 0 #HE 1-LL-5I0< +>0!AY ( ark brought Carol to the house early and held her hand as he introducedher" Could this sole$n four,year,old belong to ark and !arcy: +he stood( feet planted fir$ly( if not

belligerently( at least as if prepared to %eather a stor$"Her bro%n dress ballooned like a nondescript tent o&er her spare little body( and tights bagged at the

knees in a precarious fit" Her sandy hair %as parted so crookedly as if to ha&e al$ost no part at all8 she'd probably done it herself( and blo%sy tendrils strea$ed in all directions" But she had beautiful eyes( deep blue and steady like her father's( a boon to that plain little face"

Christy had en&isioned a little doll done up in a pink pinafore( %ith taffy curls or auburn braids" +herecalled hearing about a sick kind of &anity affected by certain beautiful %o$en %ho culti&ated theirdaughters' slo&enliness in order to enhance their o%n attracti&eness( then she chided herself for the thought"

Christy yearned to brush the untidy hair and pin a perky bo% in it( to alter the o&ersi e dress( and $ostof all( because of ark's ob&ious an)iety( to be her friend" But the cool blue eyes %arned against such atrespass" Carol pro$ptly fell asleep in the car but gre% alert the $o$ent they reached the oo" +he see$edfascinated by each ne% group of ani$als and stood $otionless in front of the$ as if in&ol&ed in so$e silentt%o,%ay co$$unication"

-nce( Christy reached do%n to take her hand as they crossed a street( but Carol /uickly pulled a%ay"35hat ani$al do you like best:3 Christy asked in her best try,harder &oice"Carol shrugged %ithout reply"Later they %ere left together %hile ark stood in line for popcorn"3!o you ha&e a pet at ho$e:3 Christy s$iled encouragingly" #he child eyed her as if she %ere asked the

color of her under%ear( then fro%ned fiercely" 0o ans%er" Later( after she finished her popcorn( she flashedChristy a %ary look and grasped ark's hand as if her daddy's ne% lady friend $ight take it a%ay fro$ her"

Christy's ankle( still %eak since the accident( had begun to ache"3I think I'll sit here on a bench and rest a bit" I'll people %atch %hile you t%o e)plore"3ark and Carol strolled off together( chatting and laughing as if they had ;ust been set free" Christy felt

$ortified to see that she'd cast such a pall on the e)cursion" #he role of bite noire had not been in herrepertoire( but she didn't kno% %hat to do about it"

"ou're letting this child get under your s&in, Christy thought" #he day see$ed endless( and she'd saddledit %ith her failure to get along %ith ark's child" ark re$ained cheerfully obli&ious to the a%k%ardundercurrent( the free e out( the get,lost,lady or %hate&er %as going on( but she %ondered ho% $uch heactually sa%" E&idently( as far as Carol %as concerned( the lines %ere dra%n( and Christy loo$ed as theene$y" 5ell( Christy %as not attracted to this difficult child( either( but for ark's sake she %ould $ake areal effort to %in her o&er" !top fretting, she consoled herself8 she and ark soon %ould $o&e fi&e hundred


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$iles a%ay" Carol probably %ouldn't &isit often"+he spotted the$ $eandering leisurely to%ard her( a giggling Carol riding on ark's shoulders"

Apparently they %ere ha&ing a $ar&elous ti$e" 5ithout Christy"#hat e&ening after they deli&ered Carol back to !arcy( Christy in&ited ark in for a late supper"3I'll fi) tacos(3 she said and hoped the gesture $ight so$eho% gloss o&er the %ay she had handled the

day"

Beth and Richard %ere out for the e&ening( so ark and Christy had the house to the$sel&es" #heytalked hardly at all and about nothing %eightier than the a$ount of #riple +ec to add to the $argaritas"After the long day the hour see$ed blessedly restful" +he could tell he felt it( too" *erhaps feelingco$fortable in periods of silence $ight earn the sa$e &alue in a relationship as easy con&ersation"

3!o you ha&e a California $ap: I'd like to sho% you the area %here %e'll be li&ing(3 he said after they'dcleared a%ay the dishes"

Christy found an atlas in the den" #hey sat on the sofa and opened the $ap on the coffee table beforethe$" He pointed out +an 1elipe( the ad;acent %ine country to the east( the red%ood gro&es to the %est andthe seashore a fe% $iles a%ay"

3It sounds hea&enly" I'$ looking for%ard to li&ing there(3 Christy said and traced her finger along thecourse of the Russian Ri&er"

ark suddenly co&ered her hand %ith his" 3+o a$ I" Especially no% that you'll be %ith $e"3+he dre% her hand a%ay and looked up sharply( a /uestion in her eyes" 5hy did he think it necessary to

add that:He pushed a curly lock of hair behind her ear" 3I $ean that( Christy(3 he said and reached o&er to kiss her

fir$ly on the lips %hile one hand slipped across her shoulder and do%n the cur&e of her back al$ost as ifhe %ere sculpturing her( then ca$e to rest against her breast"

+he gasped and pulled back"35hat's the $atter:330othing" It's ;ust that I'$ not &ery e)perienced at this sort of thing"3He looked at her gra&ely" 3!o you $ind:335ell9no9yes9 don't kno%(3 she sta$$ered" 3I hadn't e)pected you'd be interested" After all( %e

aren't %hat you'd call the nor$al soon,to,be,$arried couple" 5e do ha&e a rather special relationship"33#rue( and I'$ for $aking it e&en $ore special" !on't you agree:33I don't kno% ho% to ans%er that" Considering $y original proposition to you( anything I $ight say

%ould sound pretty ridiculous"33!on't say anything( then"3 He grinned and ga&e her shoulders a little tug" 35hat $akes you so tense:

Rela)" I'$ not going to eat you"33I kno%(3 she $ur$ured and studied the e)pression on his face( kind( a$used and a little pu led"

+uddenly her eyes gla ed %ith tears" 3I'$ sorry" I'&e handled things poorly"3He cupped her face in his hands" 30ot at all" You're a pretty %onderful person( you kno%" I'$ not sure

%hy I ha&e been so lucky" And you're &ery beautiful" I don't think I'&e e&er kno%n a girl so unconscious ofher beauty"3

e can't be serious, she thought" #his %as the kind of talk one %ould e)pect to hear fro$ an e)perienced$an like ark( but she hadn't belie&ed he %ould think it necessary to practice his char$ on her" +he felttongue,tied and a%k%ard" Auburn,haired Christy +teele( self,assured $usician( a young %o$an %hoordinarily felt &ery $uch in charge of herself( %as already out of her depth"

ark held her at ar$'s length and see$ed to assess her confusion" #here %as so$ething in his eyes shehad only drea$ed of but ne&er seen" It $ade her breathless" His hands $o&ed to span her %aist as if to

pro&e it %as really that s$all" #hen his fingers loosened the tie on her blouse so that he could feel the

furious pounding in the hollo% of her throat" He kissed the place and then lingeringly the one bet%een hers$all fir$ breasts( then pulled her into his ar$s( kissing her lips so gently( so s%eetly( she found herselfresponding %ith an urgency that shocked her"

5hen she dre% a%ay this ti$e( he didn't look offended but s$iled as if he'd ;ust affir$ed so$e truthhe'd already suspected"

As he rose to lea&e( she noticed for the first ti$e the fatigue lines around his eyes" 3 ark(3 she saidi$pulsi&ely( 3I kno% it isn't easy to ;uggle all this social life %ith your busy schedule"3

3Co$plaining:33-f course not733*erhaps I prefer it this %ay(3 he said and tipped up her chin to kiss her once $ore" 3


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and not to %orry" #his %eek has been the best I'&e had in a century"3After%ard she lay in bed and tried to focus on the elongated shado%s cast through her %indo% by a late,

rising $oon" #he e&ening had unner&ed her"Looking back o&er her gro%ing,up years( she reali ed she'd had little physical contact %ith people" +he'd

rarely been e$braced or kissed( and the ro$antic episode %ith +andor( her piano teacher( had e)istedentirely in her $ind" As for her personal feelings( she'd spent the$ $ostly on her piano during her $any

hours of practice( rather than sharing the$ %ith another person" #rue inti$acy of any nature had not for$eda part of her life( but ark's actions tonight stung her into an a%areness of such $o$ents to co$e" arksho%ed in no uncertain $anner that he intended the physical relationship to for$ a real part of their co$ingarrange$ent" +he $ust take herself in hand and not react so a%k%ardly( and re$e$ber such ti$es %ere alla part of the scene( to play the$ in such a %ay so as not to e$barrass either of the$" 5ould she be able to$anage that kind of $ake,belie&e( she %ondered( #he purpose of this $arriage( as far as she %asconcerned( relied solely on the se)ual act" In the far corner of her $ind she had allotted a portion of theirli&ing together to se)ual intercourse( $uch as an accountant figured percentages" But this e&ening told hershe had a long %ay to go in dealing %ith such inti$acy"

1or the first ti$e she began to consider the scope of their year together as so$ething $ore than a tidyoutline she $ight ha&e prepared for a ter$ paper"

CHAPTER FIVE

EI+E! !R-5+ILY as she lay half,a%ake a fe% $ornings later" 0u$bers floated like dust$otes all around her( then lined up on a calendar $ade of eights( ro%s of the$" But %hy eight:

+he opened her eyes and kne%" 5ithin the ne)t eight days she and ark $ust announce their intentions( pack their belongings( get $arried and dri&e fi&e hundred $iles to their ne% ho$e in +an 1elipe" #hey hadco$pleted their plans se&eral days ago( but still she had told no one"

Coward, she chided herself" #hy do you thin& waiting twenty-four hours more will ma&e your plans seem any less impetuous -h( Lord( %hy hadn't they eloped:

1ortunately ark %as a better actor than she" *erhaps his aggressi&e attentions since they $et the fe%short %eeks before %ould pro&ide a belie&able fra$e%ork on %hich to hang their abrupt decision"

But she dared not procrastinate any longer" ark %as due to take o&er the +an 1elipe office the first ofthe year" He %anted to arri&e there a %eek early( so they planned to be $arried at noon on the t%enty,fourth"

Christ$as loo$ed ;ust a %eek a%ay" Christ$as %ithout !a&y" !a&y %ith stars in his eyes at the sight ofthe lighted tree" !a&y riding his rocking horse %ith ;ubilant abandon" !a&y,,,If his loss still tore her apart(ho% $ust it be for Richard and Beth: His absence %ould see$ e&en $ore poignant no%" Christy prayedthat the %edding %ould pro&ide enough di&ersion to help the$ all through the day"

+he and Beth %ere $eeting Aunt artha for lunch today( and the char$ing little tearoo$ Aunt arthahad described should pro&ide the perfect place to tell the$"

+he decided to %ear her ne% robin's,egg,blue suit( one of the t%o outfits she'd recently purchased" !idt%o add up to a trousseau( she %ondered" +he looked at her reflection in the $irror as she ad;usted the bo%at the neckline and then brushed her auburn hair into place" #he fe$inine lines of the suit flattered herslender figure . 3A beguiling softness %ithout cere$ony(3 the ad had insisted" aybe she could carry offthe pretense after all" If I can hold that nervous flush in my chee&s for the ne(t hour, I might present areasonable facsimile of a dewy-eyed bride, she told herself"

#he tearoo$ %as one of those /uaint places %ith an abundance of ruffles( too $uch bric,a,brac andenough flo%ering plants to stock a greenhouse" #he only thing it lacked( Christy decided( %as a stringense$ble to play senti$ental tunes %ith an o&er%ide &ibrato" A hostess in a flounced red gingha$ go%nseated the$( and Christy's ga e %andered across a grouping of %hite plastic choirboys( a print of so$eRosa Bonheur stallions and a spoon collection unbelie&ably %edged onto the %all ad;acent to their table"

#he ob;ects took on a /ueer distortion as though her an)ieties churned inside the$ and changed theirshapes" et bac& into focus, she charged" !ee yourself seated here with the two persons you love most, anormal young woman with a normal secret to share.

+he found refuge in co$$enting on the decor until they placed their orders" #hen after the %aitress left(she clasped her hands tightly in her lap"


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3I ha&e so$e ne%s for you(3 she said( her &oice suddenly breathy" 35hat %ould you say if I told youark and I plan to be $arried a %eek fro$ today:3

Aunt artha and Beth cried out their delight and hugged her %ar$ly"Beth's eyes shone" 3-h( Chris( I'$ so happy for you73Aunt artha's s$ile besto%ed a blessing on all of life's ;oys and on young lo&e in particular" Her chins

began to /ui&er( and she reeked %ith strategy"

3!arling( ho% si$ply $ar&elous7 A Christ$as %edding7 I take full credit for this ro$ance( for Iintroduced you" 5hat a beautiful bride you'll $ake7 5e'll go to Leon's for your dress( of course( and I'll get6laus to do the catering"3

Christy forced a laugh to co&er her dis$ay" 3I'$ afraid you'll ha&e to settle for a no,frills affair this ti$e(auntie(3 she said and related her +partan plan"

3-h( no(3 Beth %ailed" 30ot the courthouse" It's so cold"3And so appropriate( Christy silently added" 35e %ant to keep things si$ple(3 she said fir$ly"+he %ondered %hat they'd think if she told the$ a $arriage of a year's duration $erited little $ore than

bare ci&il pronounce$ents" oreo&er( a prelude of $ini$u$ fanfare $ade for a $ore graceful finale"?uote2 the Christy +teele anifesto for -ne,Year arriages"

+he didn't %ant to sub;ect ark to the usual barrage of fe$inine folderol" After all( he %ould gi&e the$a;or gift in this arrange$ent"

Aunt artha straightened her shoulders( and the s$all plu$e on her hat began to s%ay" 30onsense" 4ust%ait until you see the $agic Beth and I can acco$plish in a %eek73

3But Beth isn't up to all that pressure( and any%ay( there's not e&en ti$e to send out in&itations"3 !taycalm, Christy. "ou &new this wouldn't be easy.

3 y goodness( child( %e can still use the telephone"3Christy looked at Beth and silently i$plored her support( but Beth's eyes filled %ith tears"3#his isn't like you at all( Christy" You lo&e tradition( and no one kno%s better than I ho% you tend to

details" But you're re;ecting e&erything"3Christy %as startled at Beth's reaction" +he stared %ordlessly at her sister and sa% the %hiteness around

the nostrils( the starkness of the shado%s under her eyes( a face that sho%ed too %ell the $onths of sorro%"Christy felt shaken" It had ne&er occurred to her that Beth %ould care that $uch" /erhaps if I were trulyinvolved in this marriage, I could understand 0eth's attitude, she thought"

3Really( dear people( %e %ant to be practical(3 she said %eakly"Aunt artha sniffed" 3*ractical7 5ho %ants to be practical at a ti$e like this:3Beth leaned across the table" 3-h( Christy( you'll ne&er kno% %hat it $eans to $e to see you $arried to

a fine $an like ark" *lease don't spoil it by shutting us out73+o in the end( it %as Beth( not Aunt artha( %ho altered Christy's deter$ination( and together they $ade

a co$pro$ise that satisfied no one" #he cere$ony %as changed to the college chapel for the fa$ily and afe% close friends( %ith a reception to follo% at Aunt artha's" At least in the s$all apart$ent she %ould notha&e to play the radiant bride before $ore than a do en guests" But e&en the prospect of $aintaining her

poise a$ong the gushing %ell,%ishers at the s$all fa$ily affair filled her %ith panic" 0o% she $ust tell ark" 0o $atter ho% she rationali ed the ne% arrange$ents( she felt guilty" +he had

assured hi$ she %anted the barest concession to propriety( then proceeded to ensnare hi$ in the full tribaltrappings" 5hat %ould he think:

#hat e&ening ark stopped by after a late session %ith +a$ !ouglas" He see$ed an)ious to share %ithher his enthusias$ about his ne% ;ob" +he poured sherry for the t%o of the$ and found herself only halflistening as she %orried about %hat she $ust tell hi$"

#he %ine curled her tongue as if it %ere &inegar( and she set the glass do%n on the coffee table" #hen she

heard her &oice gro% tight %ith e$barrass$ent as she e)plained the change of plans" 3I guess it all boilsdo%n to the fact I can't bring $yself to say no to Beth(3 she concluded"

3Rela)(3 he said" 3*lan nu$ber t%o suits $e fine" 5hat's %rong %ith a little senti$ent: Any%ay(statistics sho% $arriages perfor$ed in church ha&e a greater longe&ity record than all others"3

He see$ed to in&ite so$e kind of challenge( but Christy felt too relie&ed to e)a$ine that statistic" +hesipped her %ine( happy to find that it tasted like sherry again"

0o% she dedicated herself to the %edding preparations in the efficient $anner that ca$e naturally to her( but all the %hile she felt a /ueer a$bi&alence she dared not e)plore" +he found herself testing her ne%na$e,to,be( Christy Brandon" It had a rhyth$ about it( a kind of pertness and candor her o%n na$e( +teele(lacked" +teele2 stark( rigid( or did she i$agine that:


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- 0 HER 5E!!I0< !AY Christy rose to pe%ter skies and a dri ling rain" +he stood at her bedroo$ %indo%and barely $ade out the ca$panile of the chapel t%o blocks a%ay( a $isty sy$bol that in a fe% hours%ould change her life" Belo%( $oisture shone on the dank laurel hedge and turned the street anunco$pro$ising black"

+he began to feel an in%ard tre$or( a kind of *a&,lo&ian response that e$erged e&ery ti$e it rained

since those tragedy,filled hours $onths ago" et hold of yourself, she ad$onished" "ou've managed toarrange the impossible, so why all this reticence+he kne% the ans%er( of course" +he ne&er should ha&e let ark talk her into $arriage" #hat %as the

basic dishonesty" +he should ha&e held to her original plan to drop out of sight and ha&e a child alone"Instead( she %as going to stand at the altar and falsely s%ear to lo&e a $an 3till death do us part(3 a $an she

barely kne%"Yesterday she'd handed ark the contract" +he had typed it on good,/uality paper and added her

signature at the end" ark glanced at it casually( then thrust it into his pocket as if it %ere aninconse/uential $e$o"

3#hat %asn't necessary( you kno%(3 he said /uietly"+he felt rebuffed( as though she'd co$$itted a fau) pas"He looked at her crestfallen face and reached for her hand" 3I trust you( Christy"3That's what it's all about, she thought %ith relief" #rust beca$e the real &o% in this pact( not the

ritualistic facade they %ould perfor$ today"#he $orning gre% hectic in spite of her careful planning" +o$ething %ent %rong %ith the iron as she

put finishing touches on her dress( and she had to borro% a neighbor's" #he telephone rang repeatedly(students checking %ith Richard regarding the upco$ing field trip"

After innu$erable interruptions Beth ;erked out the connecting ;acks" 3I'll go through the ceiling if that phone rings once $ore73 she cried"

Christy looked up in surprise and tried to reconcile Beth's assurances of i$pro&ed health %ith the edgyreaction"

Beth caught the glance" 3!on't $ind $e" I'$ ;ust e)cited" I adore e&ery $inute of this( honestly"3Her tone %arned Christy not to press" 5ell( let Beth assu$e this $arriage %as $ade in hea&en" *eople

%eren't grateful to those %ho shattered their drea$s"#he cere$ony %as scheduled to take place at noon" 1or the rest of the $orning Christy packed and

unpacked her suitcase half a do en ti$es( stripped the sheets fro$ her bed and re$ade it( then dusted thealready spotless roo$"

As if to co$pensate ark for her e)cesses( she had chosen a go%n of ut$ost si$plicity( a long crea$y%ool ense$ble" It %as beco$ing and practical( but hardly traditional" +he cut her o%n bou/uet fro$ theyard( a spray of laurel and a fe% ste$s of %hite stock to hold against her prayer book"

#he sho%ers had increased to an earnest do%npour as the three of the$ prepared to lea&e" #hey put ontheir raincoats( and Richard dro&e the$ to the nearby chapel" #o Christy's relief the parking area held noother cars" In the fe% $inutes left she %ould try to con;ure up a little poise and subdue her pounding pulses"

A ra% %ind tore at their u$brellas as they scurried to%ard the chapel" Richard reached to open the door( but it held fir$" He strode off in e)asperation to locate the re$iss custodian %hile Christy and Beth huddledagainst the building"

#he foul %eather threatened the$ under their inade/uate shelter( and Christy tried to shield her go%nfro$ the dri&ing rain" It's an omen, she thought" *ccept it. o home.

Richard returned soon %ith a gri$,faced $an %earing an o&erlarge black rain cape" 3Regular $an %entho$e sick" 0obody told $e about a %edding(3 he said pee&ishly" He thrust the key in the lock and flungopen the door %ith elaborate effort to pro&e his e)traordinary fa&or to the$" 3+et the bolt %hen e&eryoneclears out(3 he said and flapped off across the ca$pus like a sullen cro%"

#he church felt like ice" Richard found the ther$ostat and fiddled %ith the dial"3If I can't get this thing to %ork( I'll ha&e to gi&e a%ay a cold,storage bride(3 he said"Christy and Beth forced a laugh and %ent to look for the dressing roo$ so they could tend to their

%indblo%n hair" #hen they returned to ;oin Richard in the front pe%"#he chapel could hold a hundred %orshipers at $ost( but as they sat there( silent and hunched against the

cold( they $ight ha&e been in so$e ca&ernous cathedral" Light filtered reluctantly through the stained,glass%indo%s( and the $odest basket of poinsettias on the altar looked $ore abandoned than decorati&e"


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Christy %ished she had consented to an organist" usic %ould ha&e filled the &oid and lent reality to theaffair" But after all( %hat did it $atter: #he true reality here %as the contract that $ade possible the

precious gift to her sister"Beth turned to Richard %ith a %orried fro%n" 35here is e&eryone:3 she %hispered"3Cheer up(3 Richard said %ith undaunted good hu$or" 3Christy %on't be the first bride ;ilted at the altar"33Richard73

Christy felt so unner&ed she al$ost %elco$ed the thought"As if to &erify the ill,o$ened preli$inaries( Black Cro% shuffled do%n the aisle %a&ing a rain,soaked paper" 3Your na$e +teele:3 he de$anded"

Christy nodded %oodenly"31ound this $essage on the desk(3 he said and sho&ed it to%ard her"3Chaplain Bennet in $inor traffic accident(3 she read" 3Call %edding party and delay cere$ony one

hour"3 A list of na$es follo%ed" All %ere checked e)cept theirs"+he and Beth looked at each other" 3#he telephone ;ack73 they cried si$ultaneously"#hen Beth grasped Richard's ar$" 3#he reception7 Ho% %ill Aunt artha cope:3 Beth and Richard

e)changed alar$ed glances( and Christy berated herself for the hundredth ti$e for allo%ing the proceedings to get out of hand"

Richard strode o&er to study the sluggish ther$o$eter( and Beth thu$bed absently through a hy$nal"#he distant %hine of a siren and the rustling of the pages painfully e$broidered the slo% passing $inutes"#he night$are %ould not end until so$eone( anyone( %alked into the church"

If a person could be consu$ed by an)iety( Christy kne% she %ould &anish any $inute and found herself praying for that &ery conse/uence"

#hen they all burst in at once2 the chaplain ad;usting his surplice and e)plaining so$ething about a to%car8 then Aunt artha( stunning in a long po%der,pink dress and a $atching ;e%eled turban" #here %eret%o couples %ho $ust ha&e been friends of ark8 and of course( the fla$boyant,looking gentle$an in the%estern,cut suit and nifty %hite =andyke beard had to be +a$ !ouglas( president of !ouglas Enterprises"

A $o$ent later( ark brought Carol o&er to sit %ith Aunt artha" #oday he'd entered his other self" #he bubbling sense of hu$or( %hich ordinarily he kept surface deep( $ight ne&er ha&e been" *erhaps he coped%ith too $any $e$ories of another %edding( or $aybe he e)perienced the sa$e %ithdra%al sy$pto$s shefelt" #heir eyes $et briefly( and he flashed a /uick s$ile" #hen his e)pression turned gra&e and aloof( alittle stubborn"

Carol tugged at Aunt artha's hand as they eased into the pe% i$$ediately behind ark" 3I %ant to goho$e(3 she %hi$pered"

Aunt artha hastily searched her purse" 3Here( eat this(3 she %hispered and handed Carol a $int %ith ano,nonsense gesture that %arned the child to curb further interruption"

Carol che%ed the $int and leaned stiffly for%ard to get as close to ark as possible" +uddenly sheclutched her sto$ach( and Christy noted %ith alar$ that Carol's face had gro%n e)cessi&ely pale %hile afil$ of $oisture sho%ed on her forehead" >nco$$only neat braids fell for%ard but did not hide the tearsthat spilled do%n her cheeks" Is this child trying to upstage me at my own wedding, Christy %ondered( butfa$iliar signs fro$ her o%n childhood bla ed signals too o$inous to ignore" +he crossed the aisle( s%eptCarol up in her ar$s and headed to%ard the la&atory in the narthe) %hile ark ;u$ped up to follo%" #hestartled guests stared in a$a e$ent"

1h, od, Christy prayed" et us there in time, or we'll both be disgraced.By the ti$e Aunt artha and Beth cra$$ed into the cubicle( Carol had rid herself of her breakfast and

considerably $ore( it see$ed"-ddly enough( the incident stabili ed Christy's e$otions" +he returned to her place follo%ed by the

retinue of assistants as though standard %edding procedure re/uired the bride to deal %ith an upchuckingchild"

#he chaplain tolerated brief co$$iseration( then initiated the beleaguered cere$ony" His opening ritualand prayer %ere ordinary enough" 35ho gi&eth this %o$an in $arriage:3 he asked"

Richard responded( then returned to his seat beside Beth"#he chaplain paused and looked at Christy and ark so intently she %ondered if this $an %ith the

thoughtful face and penetrating eyes could ha&e guessed their intent" Don't condemn me, she silently begged" I'm doing this for Davy. 2ust tell me I've made the right decision. 1or a $o$ent she &isuali ed a ;oyous %edding %ith her little nephe% happily tucked bet%een Beth and Richard as they sat in the chapel behind her" #ears gla ed her eyes( and she lo%ered the$ /uickly" 1h, Davy, I didn't mean to ta&e you away


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from your parents. Darling, forgive me.#he chaplain had been speaking for so$e ti$e( she reali ed" +he ga&e hi$ her attention"3#he purpose of $arriage is to banish the e&il of loneliness(3 he said" +he listened no%" +he kne% about

loneliness"3A sound relationship denotes $utual estee$(3 the chaplain said( 3and bearing %ith each other's

%eaknesses and infir$ities( offering co$fort in ti$es of stress and pro&iding for each other in ti$es of

ad&ersity" ay you stri&e for peace and ;oy and good hu$or( %hich is not hilarity( but a deep sense of innerstrength that( co$e %hat $ay co$e( you can handle together"3Relief surged through Christy as %ithout reser&ation she affir$ed the &o%( and so did ark" #hey

e)changed rings( and ark gently kissed her" #hey %ere $arried"#hey turned to accept the good %ishes of the s$all group( and Carol ca$e o&er to cling to ark's hand"

+he looked $ore than e&er the pathetic %aif( and Christy could i$agine %hat a be%ildering e)perience the%edding $ust ha&e been" 0o %onder the child %as upset"

ark ga&e Carol a hug" 3E&erything is going to be all right( punkin" Aunt artha has gone to telephoneyour $other" +o$eone %ill take you ho$e as soon as %e get to the reception"3

#here %as $ore talk before Aunt artha returned and took Carol %ith her" 3Hurry( darlings" 5e're late(you kno%(3 she cried and herded e&eryone out of the chapel"

#he rain had stopped( and sunlight broke through the scudding clouds"3Happy the bride the sun shines on(3 +a$ sang out as he guided Christy and ark to his %hite Cadillac"

#hey settled into the custo$,leather seats and %aited in silence %hile +a$ engaged in a last,$inuteconference %ith Aunt artha" Christy pri$ly fingered the ne%ness of the gold band on her left hand"

ark regarded her %ith an a$used e)pression and ga&e her a %ink" 35orried:3+he shook her head" 3It %ent easier than I e)pected( the &o%s I $ean" aybe I'$ old,fashioned8 I hated

to s%ear falsely" But today's &ersion( %ell( I $eant that honestly"' He reached o&er and s/uee ed her hand" 30ot a de&ious bone in your body" You $ay ha&e to gi&e $e

ti$e to get used to that"33Better %ait until %e get through Aunt artha's bash before you $ake that ;udg$ent(3 Christy said"3!on't %orry" It's only a s$all party" 5e can probably lea&e %ithin an hour"3+a$ stepped in and took the %heel( and they glided through the pleasant residential streets $agically

transfor$ed fro$ rain,soaked grays to sunlit colors" +he s$iled at +a$'s continuous affir$ation that she%as the prettiest little bride %est of #e)as( kno%ing ark %ished they %ere tucked in his


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3-f course(3 Christy replied and felt !arcy's a$ber eyes scan her like a co$puter"3Congratulations( darlings( and the best of e&erything(3 !arcy said %ar$ly" Her accent sha$elessly

flaunted her recent dra$a,school credentials"3#hank you(3 Christy said and heard her o%n &oice sound %ispy and colorless by co$parison"+he %atched a di$ple play near !arcy's sensuous $outh" 5hat a beautiful %o$an she %as" In spite of

her theatrical flair( !arcy had al%ays see$ed a &ery lo&ing( &ery generous( fun gal" ark $ust ha&e been

de&astated %hen she left hi$" Christy felt like an anony$ous figure alongside this enchantress( %ho %as anintriguing co$bination of an earthy $usic,hall girl and a finely bred aristocrat"!arcy laid her hand fleetingly on ark's ar$ and $anaged to look both beguiling and innocent" 3I'$ not

a party crasher( honest" artha ;ust called for us to pick up Carol"


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she'd $arried %as no flat sketch done in pencil"#hen he tightened his ar$ and led her into such an intricate set of steps she %ondered if he %ere testing

her" +he follo%ed %ith ease" !idn't he kno% that rhyth$ ca$e as second nature to her:His eyes shone de&ilishly" 3You're da$n good( rs" Brandon73Hearing her na$e spoken aloud startled her so she stu$bled" #ogether they laughed and ga&e

the$sel&es co$pletely to the $usic( responding in unison to its pulsing charge"

+he felt %eightless in his ar$s( full of grace and &ery fe$inine" #here had been $o$ents in her life%hen she had e)perienced a high sense of e)hilaration beyond all e)plaining( like the ti$e she ca$e uponthe plu$ tree in a cloud of blosso$s against a blue sky %ith the scent all around her( or %hen she first heardthe Bach ! inor #occata and 1ugue on the uni&ersity pipe organ" 5alt ing %ith ark no% filled her %iththat kind of elation"

#he incredible day receded as their bodies took to the $usic as if $ade for it( and they $o&ed in a ;oyous $eld of rhyth$( sight and sound"


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In the foyer an orderly directed the$ to a %aiting roo$"3+tay here(3 ark said and strode o&er to the desk"Christy sank into a chair and felt a nauseous de;a &u in the antiseptic roo$ %ith the plain buff %alls( the

ser&iceable unco$fortable chairs and the nurses %ho bustled in and out %ith their polite starched s$iles(see$ingly untouched by the crises that seethed around the$"

+he sa% ark's knuckles glea$ %hite as he gripped the edge of the counter" He leaned for%ard and

spoke intently to the %o$an at the desk( then looked at his %atch and i$patiently $ade a turn around theroo$" Christy felt despair( anguish and hope cro%d the s$all roo$( and she put a hand to her throat as if to%ard off a sense of dro%ning"

+o$e%here in the background she heard a clicking sound( ;erky and erratic" #hrough the glass door shegli$psed a %o$an pacing the corridor" It %as !arcy" +he see$ed s$aller so$eho%( as though dra%n intoherself( her face pale and bleak in the harsh o&erhead light"

A $o$ent later( !arcy recogni ed ark and ca$e into the roo$" +he %alked straight to%ard hi$ as ifno one else %ere present and spoke to hi$ in hushed tones" #hen she co&ered her face %ith her hands and

pressed against hi$( sobbing"ark put his ar$s around her( and for a $o$ent they clung together in $utual support of the bond that

still lay bet%een the$" It %asn't secreti&e( but it de$anded pri&acy( and Christy looked a%ay" #here %eretoo $any parallels here( too $any hideous $e$ories2 a lifeless !a&y( a deathly ill Carol( parents %ithtragedy,scarred faces" And the guilt" -h(


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3All the better to hear you %ith(3 she said and ga&e full attention to the o$elet"He chuckled as if she'd said so$ething %itty" 3I'll run along %hile you eat and dress" I put your suitcase

in the closet" I %ant to say goodbye to Carol and settle up the hospital bill"3Christy put do%n her coffee cup" 3I'll hurry and dress if you'd like $e to ;oin you"3He snapped his bag and fu$bled %ith a stubborn latch" 3!arcy %ill be there( but co$e along if you don't

$ind"3

Christy suddenly needed to do so$ething %ith her hands" +he reached for a s%eet roll and broke it apart"+he didn't $ind( but apparently he did" 3 aybe you should go on ahead after all" I can take $y ti$e and beready %hen you return"3

3It shouldn't take long"3 He shot her a brisk s$ile and left"*eople %eren't e&er co$pletely di&orced( Christy thought" -ne couldn't really take a hatchet to hu$an

relationships" +trands of $e$ory( a lo&e once shared( the link of children . all %ere tendrils that boundthe$ to each other no $atter ho% slightly"

5hat did a $an say to his for$er %ife on a bright Christ$as $orning after an e$otionally chargedsituation such as they'd ;ust e)perienced: !id he put co$forting ar$s around her again: !id they then lookinto each other's eyes and recall the good ti$es: 5ith regret: Christy $entally slapped her %rists" 5hyshould she e&en %onder:

#hirty $inutes ended( and ark still had not co$e" 0or did he sho% after an hour" +he gre% alar$edand planted herself by the %indo% so that she could look up the street and %atch for his car" Had Caroltaken a turn for the %orse( she agoni ed" Ho% long did it take to pay a bill and say goodbye( for hea&en'ssake: *robably long enough for !arcy and ark to reassure their child( long enough for the$ to find a

pri&ate place to discuss %hate&er parents needed to discuss about their child"E)actly t%o hours later( ark %alked in the door and grabbed the suitcases" 3+orry" I didn't think it

%ould take so long3 %as all he &olunteered"3Is Carol okay:3 Christy asked and hoped her i$patience %asn't too apparent"3Co$pletely reco&ered" !arcy is taking her ho$e no%( and is that lady e&er in charge7 All those doctors(

nurses and orderlies scra$bling to attention" A fe% klieg lights and it %ould be co$plete" A hell of a production73

!id he en;oy it( she %ondered"

- E0#+ LA#ER he guided the


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3Are you up to the bad ne%s: I'$ not $uch of a cook( nor ha&e I done any entertaining of the kind hee)pects" But I'$ a fairly /uick learner( and I did bring along a couple of good cookbooks"3

3I $ight ha&e predicted that"33I'$ so transparent:330ot at all" I appreciate grit" In fact( I'$ looking for%ard to an interesting contrast"33-h( sure( the Christy,special( pasta casseroles( as opposed to candlelight and lobster ther$idor"3 +er&ed

by a blonde in a lo%,cut go%n( naturally" 1or hea&en's sakes( Christy the shre%73Aha( so she bites after all"33I ne&er pro$ised you s%eet Alice( Ben Bolt" But I do pro$ise to tackle the pots,and,pans depart$ent"33#hat and anything else you set your $ind to( right:3 His eyebro%s lifted kno%ingly"+he felt her defenses rise" 5ould( he ne&er let her forget that a%ful day she approached(hi$ in his

office: 3I e)pect you're referring to a lot $ore than $y culinary efforts(3 she said stiffly"ark shed his bantering tone" 3*erse&erance is ne&er out,of,date( $y girl"3#hey %ere /uiet for a %hile( but she felt as if they %ere saying things to each other ;ust the sa$e"He reached o&er and patted her hand" 3+top %orrying" I'$ an old casserole $an( $yself"3+he ga&e hi$ a half s$ile" 3I guess the thing that really bothers $e is all those *uritan ancestors

breathing o&er $y shoulder" I keep asking $yself if our contract is $oral"335ell( it's certainly legal(3 he said %ith the fine air of a ;udge announcing a decision"3Legal is $oral:3 she asked"3I'$ not sure %hat you $ean by $oral" As far as I'$ concerned( an action is $oral if it refines $y finest

self" Hey7 Ho%'s that for a t%enty,one,karat definition:33*rofound( I think"335hy scrutini e e&ery action: +o$eti$es it %orks out better to play things by ear" +peaking for $yself(

$y intentions in this arrange$ent are right on target" I don't like to think of our $arriage as so$e kind of purchase agree$ent" I %ant to treat it as a &alid relationship"3

In $ost situations Christy kne% her o%n $ind and prided herself on &ie%ing proble$s ob;ecti&ely( but%hen it ca$e to their $arriage( she found she couldn't sort things out %ith as $uch assurance" arksho%ed such confidence that nothing could touch hi$" In spite of all her reasoning( her fears continued tolie like clouds of $ist that obscured the hori on" It %as a ne% e)perience for her"

#he day felt unhinged( detached fro$ the calendar" E)cept for a fe% %ilted street decorations along the%ay( one %ouldn't ha&e guessed it %as Christ$as" +he'd brought a gift along for ark( but so far the dayhadn't lent itself to the gi&ing" An odd res,ti&eness plagued her as if the $usic played on and on( ignoringthe conductor"

Ho% %ere Richard and Beth coping( she %ondered and felt the fa$iliar sting in her eyelids and thethickening in her throat that acco$panied e&ery $e$ory of !a&y" #hey planned to spend Christ$as %ithAunt artha( so Christy had left all her presents under Aunt artha's preposterous tree( %hich %as done upall in orange angels and pink tassels"

5ould that long,ago August day haunt their Christ$as: If only the freak rainstor$ had co$e any otherti$e in the year" If only Christy hadn't insisted on dri&ing !a&y" If( if( if,,,Ho% $uch guilt could she hold:5ell(


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kitchen %ill be stocked %ith so$e basic supplies" I'$ sorry you had no part in selecting the apart$ent .+a$

alexander, megan - contract for marriage

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