alan curtis - spirit talk - poetry

spirit talk & other poems

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I am thankful for the gift of life. I am thankful for all those around me. I am happy to share these moments in time with each and every one of you. It is a pleasure to know you – to share

in our energy. The poems that follow are an attempt to capture the spark that makes life worth living – the good and the bad, the beautiful and the not so beautiful moments that we all experience. Some are quite recent while others were written many years ago. I hope you

enjoy them.

Merry Christmas!

–Alan

© 2006, eternal kin poetry composed by alan curtis

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“a dream of us together”

if we should dream together and you could hold me in your arms forever

then, i would know my search for you was complete

the lilt of your voice the sound of your laughter

the mischief in your eyes

i love to look upon you to feel you close beside me

your presence so pleasing

both to the heart and mind

if we should dream together and you could hold me in your arms forever then, i would know my circle was complete

and so, it would be done

we would join as one i'd become your father your brother, your son

and you in turn would be my mother my sister, my daughter

we would care for one another for all time

in good times and in bad times for better or for worse

this life we would lead

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“a dream of us together” (continued)

like a dragon furling its long tail

with love within our hearts and in our minds

successful in this life where others might fall, falter, fail

these lips that kiss you

they cannot communicate my love these eyes that adore you

they cannot communicate my love these hands that caress you

they cannot communicate my love these words that reach to you

they cannot communicate my love only the soul within this heart of mine

only here can my love for you be felt, heard, understood

dream with me and you will see

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“a fool's game”

here it is the rose you wanted

i cast it upon the ground upon the casket which now separates us

for in death there is liberation and in liberation there is at last – peace

free from want free from need free from all –

the pulls – the pangs of life

so, do you know now where you find your folly? it is in the stuff of magic, of course

believing in dreams that will never be feeling things we were never meant to feel

it is all just nonsense, now a trick of the mind

a sense of something that is not there oh, do you really have a soul? will your gods ever find you?

is there really something so terribly different about you? will you ever find the one?

the one who knows you the one who will always truly love you?

i think not

there is no such thing as true love break this trust? don't you see? i cannot trust

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“a fool's game” (continued)

trust is a fool's game trust only brings the dagger closer to my heart

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“a momentary distraction”

in a darkened hallway i once cast a light

to see if you were there cannot see you now

only a momentary distraction an escape from the past

already forgotten in this place where lovers meet

when it has no meaning as we found out

this was not a beginning it was

a quick end

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“as if by magic”

in the distance a rather tenuous connection

a voice is calling— (perhaps coming closer.)

never to tremble at the thought i can only wait here watching

meanwhile, your smile

no more precisely your lips entice me

speaking words, novels, libraries stores of information

that speech can never render

no doubt i could not be more obvious the “secret” was always out

as if by magic i am drawn to you

(and your ambition)

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“a song neverending”

long after our days they will walk amongst the tombstones to read the inscriptions written there

with no way of knowing the person whom we had grown to be the beauty found in our experience

the passions that once burned so brightly within us no memory of our birth, our life, our death

the cycle of life continuing on without us

as if we had never been that tired, old piano playing

a song neverending as the fall leaves settle upon the ground

we are forgotten

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“cross”

there is a young girl whose eyes i adore

and whose careless charms imprison me and will not let me go

she comes to me, smiling

she comes to me with words of love upon her lips

her arms outstretched with nails piercing her hands and feet bound to timbers which form a cross

crucified by my love

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“dance”

when the wind is calm when the ocean is at rest

in the night when the city sleeps i awake from dreams of you i can still see you somehow

happily dancing to the music smiling as you move to the rhythm

caught in time like a photograph in my mind

if my soul was a song would you dance to it as well?

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“emotional need”

need emotional need a need for love

i give it all to you but i must ask myself

what is it that your searching eyes

have found in me what is it

that i offer

you said you could listen to me

forever and that was a good start

i want to talk to you

about dreams that become reality about bonds that can never break

about a reason to live about the magic that lives in and around you

about the future i know nothing about

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“epitaph”

i lie here amongst the ancient ruins and rest with eyes upturned toward the sky

knowing confidently that never a fleeting moment shall pass with thoughts of life

to wake me from this deep sleep no matter how frequently the winds of time

may pass over this sanctuary my slumber shall remain

eternal

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“eternal”

i will meld with the earth and i shall fleet across the sky

and my ashes shall be strewn upon the sea i shall sleep boundlessly and eternally

deep within the confines of the sun my death will be a quiet one like the twinkling of a star

or the shooting of a comet such simple sorrow with such simple grace

remorseless hopeless

this paradise is infinite

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“ever again”

ever again, although knowing the landscape of love and the small churchyard, with its complaining names

and the abyss where the others end, where dread silence reigns--ever again we set forth, two together,

under the ancient trees, ever again we rest among flowers, facing the sky.

ever again, with understanding and love within our hearts

and within our dark souls with their burning eyes and within our minds where emotions fly, where confusion

reigns--ever again we set forth, two together, across the timeworn desert, ever again we rest

under the ground, facing the sky.

* the first stanza of this poem was written by rainer maria rilke

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“film”

like a dream, you came into my life your heart needing me as much as i needed you

so we made ourselves a sanctuary and dreamed a new start

a heavenly place held close to the heart

but then somehow this place became a cage

with furtive hands and arms shaking and harsh words like dark stones you hid these feelings deep inside

but i could see it in your eyes calling out to me

for love and understanding

from where did these feelings arise? was there something in your past?

something that hurt you deep inside? no matter

you’ve convinced yourself it’s time to run again

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“flower heart”

in your eyes i recognize your pain

the need to run to find something

or someone to escape the pain that returns again

i know you know

no one can fill that space the warm memory

the not forgotten place i can only try

to make you laugh be there for you in this aftermath

but i truly don’t know

if i’ll hear from you again don’t know

if i’ll ever feel you again

not about some physical thing

i know you know just about being

hearing your words flow the sound of this tempo

like sunshine

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“flower heart” (continued)

on a warm, summer day so the song goes

your flower heart unfolds hearing words

where nothing is told

in time the words speak

in time the words proclaim

but you must understand what in fact is my aim

rushing you trapping you

this is not my game

i’d only like for this to transcend

be there for you when you need a friend

‘cause i know you must learn

i know you must grow

this is your time, now you should know i know

i would only ask

that when you see my shaken tree, boo

the memories that run like rain inside you, too

that perhaps then

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“flower heart” (continued)

you come to see why i’m fond of you

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“hearts & minds”

if we look upon life as a series of doors

each one a path that lead us

in varying directions we can see

it is the heart and mind which chooses the path for us

the heart is our passion

an instinctive flame which kisses and caresses

and then sets us aloft amongst the moon and stars

to live what once were dreams of fantasy

of paradise

our mind then is our knowledge a pack rat of intuition

the pragmatic voice always understanding

always knowing the right thing to do

it must be said then that judgement cannot be made

by using the heart alone nor can it made

with only the mind because if the heart and mind

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“hearts & minds” (continued)

are not in agreement the soul, it becomes conflicted

it feels then like we are obscured by clouds

our thoughts then become heavy our bodies become drugged

we no longer trust the heart and mind and so question

everything we think or feel

in time, you should know

our thoughts will become clear again our bodies will return to us

when the heart and mind have once again come

to agreement

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“inclusion”

all the bodies are beautiful whatever their composition

for somewhere in their recesses there lives the consciousness, the mind, the soul

and if they are unaware of their creation unable to communicate their beauty

creation will communicate their beauty if these lips are unable to form these truthful words

creation will speak these words you only have to listen. beauty is everywhere!

if only in the eyes of the thief of hearts, it still remains

cease to judge and love

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“kuan yin”

an explosion of color when the sun becomes a lotus blossom as church bells ring throughout the city

round, luminous eyes scanning

softly, untouched, gentle your voice calls to me on winter nights

i can hear you

time unfolds days passing into night - relentless stars shooting across the night sky trams, trains - the subway in taipei

it is all a distant memory, now but you remain my love, so far away

although closer

only miles between us you are further somehow in spirit and so this prayer is put to flame burning words, a smoking prayer

rising, rising into the night air

kuan yin goddess of compassion and mercy goddess of love and understanding

please hear my prayer

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“land of nevermore”

within the forest, tonight singing to the heavens

dancing 'round the runes talking with the sky

i and the others worshipping the dead gods

that are nevermore

within the forest, tonight raising hands to the heavens

reading the runes laughing at the sky

i and the others worshipping the dead gods

that are nevermore

within the forest, tonight praying to the heavens destroying the runes

sucking up the sky i and the others

worshipping the dead gods that are nevermore

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“like life”

the light cascades all around

dares to bring you down a tunnel is all -- is everything

cannot stand to wear this frown hope to dream, to fly asunder

escape from the approaching thunder pleasure may come, but then fades away

this despair never too far away like life, we each are alone in this maze an eternity -- nights bleed into days

a voice has spoken, "have you found the key?" "turn the lock and be set free."

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“memory”

carry thoughts upon the wind let the trees move in sequence

like some slow-motion camera filming instant replay of what has come before

moving tides of the ocean moving moon has control.

a sea of emotions come to torture me

a sailboat without a mast rocking wildly out on the water

without navigation to lead it ashore moving tides of the ocean moving

moon has control.

the maniacal, submerged cries of people talking contortion of their eyes and nose and mouth

emotions coming and going getting nowhere fast

moving tides of the ocean moving moon has control.

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“old day”

have to slow down, now have to slow down

(take a deep breath.) i have to slow down

can no longer expect them to understand cannot expect them to be as

loving and trusting and honest as that which has been made in the likeness of god

at the epicenter of my formation pushing through the ocean surf

it swells forever forward and swells again backward these are the days at hand which nudge up next to me

like the sand between my toes

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“seeking splendor”

there are so many side show, funhouse

crazy mirrors here people who reflect just who they think

you are

so rarely are the images anywhere near accurate

sometimes, i think no one will ever truly

see me, accept me, adore me for who i truly am

somehow then all my faults will outweigh

any and all gifts i may have been given

in this life

i want so much, you see to embrace these dreams of mine

to one day, be tethered heart and soul

to experience life in the most immensely beautiful way

i long for this day

when the games have ended when the mirror people speak

directly, openly, honestly

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“seeking splendor” (continued)

when this long and ragged journey has finally wound to its conclusion

when my dreams are no longer dreams when this life of seeking splendor

is now finally over

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“spirit talk”

if i could write a poem that brought the world to you

that gave your days a special care that made your life now magical

then you would see the sun so brilliant and the night sky with its many stars

would dance for you and you would dance with it

then you would feel the spirit talk in you, around you, outside of you

and you would see your life now is a story each page talking

like a long forgotten friend a strangely familiar voice

so perfect

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“symbiosis”

the symbiotic relationship of love ere entwined amidst the cliff and jagged rocks

emotion and spirit taking the plunge romantic, mood-setting, a red light

great chasm, welt of earth strip-mining dreams of a sort

the symbiotic relationship of love

a footnote for a philosopher no mathematician able to create an adequate formula

never an astronomer able to chart these bounds the poet unable to make his voice heard

strip-mining dreams of a sort

within a locked box without a key permit again pandora to find the daemons which lay within

tender, fleshy lips besiege my skin devoid of all emotion, the machine takes control

strip-mining dreams of a sort

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“tarot”

it was out over dunes of sand

in a tired and empty lagoon where the dead lay to rest

that a black crow circled ‘round

it was here your voice said, “change,” as you dealt the cards

spreading out each one on the cold sand before me

i came to realize

it was my life there tumbling out

from that neat, little deck funny how it all seem to rest

in your hands

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“the end”

an electric light rage, burning bright

the sun, he is the father little white pill

serene, laying still the moon, she is the mother

cats and dogs falling out of the sky the sun and the moon collide

the end it's the end

it's the end of the world

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“this mortal clutch”

at night sometimes i find myself

talking to the walls talking to the world

talking to the energy that surrounds us all

i send my love out to you

thought you should know that in this mortal clutch

we call life as days turn into night the process continues in each waking moment

the rhythmic beat the pulse of life

down this passage we call time i love you i love you

i love you all

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“this rose”

sometimes i wonder who started the tradition of giving a rose to someone you like. i wonder to myself why it would be a rose and what that rose symbolized. the rose of course is a flower – one of the earth’s most fragile plants. as with all plants, it takes time to nurture and grow. it is

also of course quite red – a very vibrant and passionate color. eye catching. romantic.

perhaps the rose was a symbol of human relationships – the fragility of each one of our lives. the rose then symbolized our passions – our hearts and souls – that in the right soil – with

bright sunlight and a little time could grow into something wondrously beautiful.

this rose, it is a symbol of beauty. it may wither and die. it may become a forgotten memory. on the other hand, it may be recognized for what it truly is – a warm gesture – as something

nice, thoughtful.

it should be said in closing that this rose it has little weight. it is not burdensome – it makes no demands upon you. it is just here with you to somehow – if it is able – if you choose to see it – to put a little sparkle in your day. if you are able to see it this way, you will have begun to truly

understand and appreciate this rose.

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“wish”

sometimes i wish i could hide away

make the outside world somehow go away

crawl back into the place from which i came

in this world

so many varied, confusing images everything moving and changing

this long running movie forever going forward

in this life

my soul aches to make a difference to elevate my perception

my experience, my surroundings to feel again

to believe again in the heart of humanity

and so i find myself

going back often to days of my childhood with its incredible magic

and so i thank you for so many fond memories

old times now somehow

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“wish” (continued)

alive and new

now that my life seems passing into autumn

i am surprised by my surroundings but you should know

this is not my destination

winds are blowing i can feel change the trees swaying here in the forest

it's raining

on the inside, now but i can see

bright rays of sunshine up ahead

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“glimmer”

unsaid there is something there

something words cannot convey when you look away

when you smile to yourself introspective

i see the light

the light burning brightly within you

i thank you for your temperament.

i thank you for your spirit.

and so, it must be said you will experience great beauty in this life.

indeed, you will live your dreams…

it is self-evident energy such as yours can only be returned

ten fold

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“ultraviolet”

sometimes a door opens

an opportunity to know another

perhaps to feel the warmth of another spirit

sometimes, however

we would sooner slam the door shut

out of not -- meeting our expectations out of some -- inner fear of change

out of being -- vulnerable again

sometimes, though we throw the door wide

we let loose our inhibitions we shuffle off -- our fears, our insecurities

we brave the world outside our cage

passionate, romantic, mood-setting

like an ultraviolet light around the two of us a special glow, all our own

some secret, hidden energy flowing between us which only we can

tap into---

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“unguarded”

heartfelt my words are heartfelt

like many before me reflecting the world around them

through open and honest language through the free expression

of the human experience singer, song writer,

painter, poet, musician

like the artist that dwells within us all unafraid of creative thought

unfiltered by rules and regulations unaffected by expectations

with a few choice words

almost too sincere leaves me vulnerable

leaves me– open to misunderstanding

leaves me– unguarded

alan curtis - spirit talk - poetry

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