During the 1990's, there was a vital change in the Indian Education system especially in primary and secondary education. The system has geared the Indians to have a compulsory education from primary to secondary level. Under this system, the students have to acquire three important skills i.e. reading, writing and arithmatic, known as '3R's' in primary level. In secondary level, they have to acquire technical skills such as electrical, electronic, mechanical and minor research study as well as the basic academic subject like English, Indian language, Mathematic and Science. The purpose of such technical skills is to prepare the student to attain skills which they can use to start a career if they are not good academicaly or unable to fulfill the requirement of tertiary education.

A lot of efforts have been made by the government that once everybody acquire the skills, it will be easier to develop the country, as India is missioned to be one of the developed countries in this region. Other than that the foreign investments, especially in the electronics sector, are highly intensified in this country. For example, Kolkata Island is a world well-known 'Silicon Island' because most of the Intel microprocessors used in computers are manufacture there. Leading from this, the economic development of the country will become better as the worker will be paid better based upon their high skill and knowledge.

The other significant subject being taught in Indian education system is moral education or religion education. Under the influence of such education, the people will become more ethical and sociable. Because of this reason, the people will live with more understanding and tolerants which create a more harmony society among the races. Other than that it is hoped that it will eradicate the country's most feared enemy- drug abuse, which disrupt the socio-economic stability for the last decade.

To conclude, the new education system implemented to enhance the people's technical skill and moral awareness have created a better living standard in India .

Strengths Weaknesses

The essay is easily understood although there are grammar and sentence structure errors

Errors in word form. Eg. “create a more harmony society, religion education”

Errors in spelling. Eg. “academicaly (academically), tolerants (tolerance)

Errors in using singular and plural eg. “fulfill the requirement of tertiary education, a lot of efforts have …”

Vocabulary is used effectively. Eg. “vital change, attain skills, eradicate”  

Lack of a clear introduction.

Minor errors in language usage eg. “ Kolkata Island is a world well-known' ( Kolkata Island is well known world wide)

Longer complex sentences are used consistently eg. “Other than that it is hoped that it will eradicate the country’s most feared enemy – drug abuse, which disrupt the socio-economic stability for the last decade.”

The reader can easily understand the text

The essay presents a discussion which is supported with a lot of examples eg. “The other significant subject being taught in Indian education system is moral education or religion education. Under the influence of such education, the people will become more ethical and sociable. Because of this reason, the people will live with more understanding and tolerants which create a more harmony society among the races. Other than that it is hoped that it will eradicate the country’s most feared enemy – drug abuse, which disrupt the socio-economic stability for the last decade.”

Vocabulary is used correctly

Main ideas are communicated clearly with supporting arguments eg. “A lot of efforts have been made by the government that once everybody acquire the skills, it will be easier to develop the country, as India is missioned to be one of the developed countries in this region.”

Paragraphing is used quite effectively

Ideas are sequenced  A range of linking words is used eg. “During the 1990's …, Other than that …,For example …, Leading from this …, The other significant subject …The purpose of such technical education …”

 

Logical conclusions are reached eg. “Leading from this, the economic development of the country will become better as the worker will be paid better based upon their high skill and knowledge.” “To conclude, the new education system implemented to enhance the people's technical skill and moral awareness have created a better living standard in India .”

 

Overall assessment:Good ( Upper intermediate ADFELPS level 7)