actual job evaluations
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Actual Job EvaluationsTRANSCRIPT
Page 1 Actual Job Evaluations
Actual Job EvaluationsActual Job Evaluations
Since my last report, thisemployee has reachedrock bottom and hasstarted to dig
Since my last report, thisemployee has reachedrock bottom and hasstarted to dig
Actual Job EvaluationsActual Job Evaluations
His men would follow himanywhere, but only out ofmorbid curiosity
His men would follow himanywhere, but only out ofmorbid curiosity
Actual Job EvaluationsActual Job Evaluations
I would not allow thisemployee to breedI would not allow thisemployee to breed
Actual Job EvaluationsActual Job Evaluations
This employee is notreally much of a has-beenbut more of a definitewon't be.
This employee is notreally much of a has-beenbut more of a definitewon't be.
Actual Job EvaluationsActual Job Evaluations
Works well when underconstant supervision andcornered like a rat in a trap
Works well when underconstant supervision andcornered like a rat in a trap
Actual Job EvaluationsActual Job Evaluations
When she opens hermouth, it seems that it isonly to change feet
When she opens hermouth, it seems that it isonly to change feet
Page 2 Actual Job Evaluations
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He would be out of hisdepth in a parking lotpuddle
He would be out of hisdepth in a parking lotpuddle
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This lady has delusions ofadequacyThis lady has delusions ofadequacy
Actual Job EvaluationsActual Job Evaluations
He sets low personalstandards & then consistentlyfails to achieve them
He sets low personalstandards & then consistentlyfails to achieve them
Actual Job EvaluationsActual Job Evaluations
This employee is deprivinga village somewhere of anidiot
This employee is deprivinga village somewhere of anidiot
Actual Job EvaluationsActual Job Evaluations
This employee should gofar, and the sooner hestarts, the better
This employee should gofar, and the sooner hestarts, the better
Actual Job EvaluationsActual Job Evaluations
This employee has a full6-pack, but lacks theplastic thing to hold it alltogether
This employee has a full6-pack, but lacks theplastic thing to hold it alltogether
Page 3 Actual Job Evaluations
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The employee is severalsandwiches short of apicnic
The employee is severalsandwiches short of apicnic
Actual Job EvaluationsActual Job Evaluations
Her elevator does not goto the top floorHer elevator does not goto the top floor
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She took an IQ test butfailed itShe took an IQ test butfailed it
Actual Job EvaluationsActual Job Evaluations
A gross ignoramus - 144times worse than anordinary ignoramus
A gross ignoramus - 144times worse than anordinary ignoramus
Actual Job EvaluationsActual Job Evaluations
He certainly takes a longtime to make his pointlessHe certainly takes a longtime to make his pointless
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He doesn't have ulcers,but he is a carrierHe doesn't have ulcers,but he is a carrier
Page 4 Actual Job Evaluations
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I would like to go huntingwith him sometimeI would like to go huntingwith him sometime
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He's spent far too longworking with glueHe's spent far too longworking with glue
Actual Job EvaluationsActual Job Evaluations
He would argue with asignpostHe would argue with asignpost
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He has a knack for makingstrangers immediatelyHe has a knack for makingstrangers immediately
Actual Job EvaluationsActual Job Evaluations
He brings a lot of joywhenever he leaves theroom
He brings a lot of joywhenever he leaves theroom
Actual Job EvaluationsActual Job Evaluations
When his IQ reaches 50,he should sellWhen his IQ reaches 50,he should sell
Page 5 Actual Job Evaluations
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If you see two peopletalking and one looksbored, he's the other one
If you see two peopletalking and one looksbored, he's the other one
Actual Job EvaluationsActual Job Evaluations
He has a photographicmemory but unfortunatelythe lens-cap is on
He has a photographicmemory but unfortunatelythe lens-cap is on
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A prime candidate fornatural de-selectionA prime candidate fornatural de-selection
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Donated his brain toscience before he wasdone using it
Donated his brain toscience before he wasdone using it
Actual Job EvaluationsActual Job Evaluations
The gates are down, thelights are flashing, butthe train isn't coming
The gates are down, thelights are flashing, butthe train isn't coming
Actual Job EvaluationsActual Job Evaluations
Has two brain cells: one islost and the other is outlooking for it
Has two brain cells: one islost and the other is outlooking for it
Page 6 Actual Job Evaluations
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If he were any morestupid, he'd have to bewatered twice a week
If he were any morestupid, he'd have to bewatered twice a week
Actual Job EvaluationsActual Job Evaluations
If you give him a pennyfor his thoughts, you'dwant change.
If you give him a pennyfor his thoughts, you'dwant change.
Actual Job EvaluationsActual Job Evaluations
If you stand close enough tohim, you'll hear the oceansIf you stand close enough tohim, you'll hear the oceans
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It’s hard to believe thathe beat out 1,000,000other sperms
It’s hard to believe thathe beat out 1,000,000other sperms
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She’s one neuron short ofa synapseShe’s one neuron short ofa synapse
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Some drank from thefountain of knowledge, heonly gargled
Some drank from thefountain of knowledge, heonly gargled
Page 7 Actual Job Evaluations
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Takes him 2 hours towatch 60 minutesTakes him 2 hours towatch 60 minutes
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The wheel is turning, butthe hamster is deadThe wheel is turning, butthe hamster is dead
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The only way for him todouble his money wouldbe to fold it in half andput it back in his pocket
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She has a mindlike a steel trap -it’s rusty & illegalin 37 states
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Support bacteria -they're the onlyculture this man has
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She has an open mindbut her brains keepfalling out
Page 8 Actual Job Evaluations
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He tried sniffingCoke once, butthe ice cubes gotstuck in his nose
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She’s not aShe’s not acomplete idiot, somecomplete idiot, someparts are missing.parts are missing.
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He used to have ahandle on life, then itbroke.
He used to have ahandle on life, then itbroke.
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She never has a solutionbut always spends a lot oftime admiring the problem
She never has a solutionbut always spends a lot oftime admiring the problem
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The buck doesn’t evenslow down hereThe buck doesn’t evenslow down here
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The flashlight is onThe flashlight is onbut the batteries arebut the batteries aredeaddead
Page 9 Actual Job Evaluations
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His wild oatshave turned intoShreaded Wheat.
His wild oatshave turned intoShreaded Wheat.
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She regularly gets lost inthought - it’s unfamiliarterritory
She regularly gets lost inthought - it’s unfamiliarterritory
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She consistentlydemonstrates thatnothing is foolproof to asufficiently talentedfools
She consistentlydemonstrates thatnothing is foolproof to asufficiently talentedfools