active listening & empathy-1
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ACTIVE LISTENINGACTIVE LISTENING
ANDANDEMPATHYEMPATHY
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Active ListeningActive Listening
It means listening by more than just hearingIt means listening by more than just hearingwords, by truly understanding andwords, by truly understanding andacknowledging the other persons messageacknowledging the other persons messageand feelings.and feelings.
It allows and encourages another person toIt allows and encourages another person tofreely communicate his/her needs andfreely communicate his/her needs and
opinionsopinions
Its a very important skill while relating toIts a very important skill while relating toothersothers
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EmpathyEmpathy
DefinitionDefinition --D. M. Berger:D. M. Berger: The capacity to know emotionally what anotherThe capacity to know emotionally what another
is experiencing from within the frame ofis experiencing from within the frame ofreference of that other person, the capacity toreference of that other person, the capacity tosample the feelings of another or to put oneselfsample the feelings of another or to put oneselfin anothers shoesin anothers shoes
Alvin Goldman:Alvin Goldman: The ability to put oneself into the mental shoesThe ability to put oneself into the mental shoes
of another person to understand her emotionsof another person to understand her emotionsand feelingsand feelings
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Empathy is notEmpathy is not
SympathySympathy is the feeling of compassion or concern for another,is the feeling of compassion or concern for another,
the wish to see them better off or happier.the wish to see them better off or happier.
PityPity is feeling that another is in trouble and in need ofis feeling that another is in trouble and in need of
help as they cannot fix their problems themselves,help as they cannot fix their problems themselves,often described as "feeling sorry" for someone.often described as "feeling sorry" for someone.
Emotional contagionEmotional contagion is when a person (especially an infant or a memberis when a person (especially an infant or a member
of a mob) imitatively 'catches' the emotions thatof a mob) imitatively 'catches' the emotions that
others are showing without necessarily recognizingothers are showing without necessarily recognizingthis is happeningthis is happening
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Listening and EmpathyListening and Empathy
Empathy should be an importantEmpathy should be an importantcomponent of active listeningcomponent of active listening
Empathetic listening is listening soEmpathetic listening is listening sointently and identifying so closely that oneintently and identifying so closely that oneexperiences the other persons situation,experiences the other persons situation,thoughts and emotions.thoughts and emotions.
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Components of EmpatheticComponents of Empathetic
ListeningListening
1.1. REFLECTING:REFLECTING:
PurposePurpose
To show that you understand how theTo show that you understand how theperson feels.person feels.
Reflects the speakers basic feelings.Reflects the speakers basic feelings.
Example:Example:
You seem very upset.You seem very upset.
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2.2. ENCOURAGING:ENCOURAGING:
PurposePurpose
To convey interest.To convey interest.
To encourage the other person to keepTo encourage the other person to keeptalking.talking.
ExampleExample Can you tell me more?Can you tell me more?
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3.3. SUMMARIZING :SUMMARIZING :
PurposePurpose
To review progress.To review progress.
To pull together important ideas and facts.To pull together important ideas and facts. To establish a basis for further discussion.To establish a basis for further discussion.
Restates the major ideas expressed, includingRestates the major ideas expressed, includingfeelings.feelings.
ExampleExample
These seem to be the key ideas youveThese seem to be the key ideas youveexpressedexpressed
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4.4. CLARIFYING :CLARIFYING :
PurposePurpose To help you clarify what is said.To help you clarify what is said.
To get more information.To get more information.
To help the speaker see other points of view.To help the speaker see other points of view.
How we can do itHow we can do it Ask questions.Ask questions.
Use wrong interpretations to force the speaker toUse wrong interpretations to force the speaker toexplain further.explain further.
ExampleExample When did this happen?When did this happen?
Do I have this right? It means your friend hatesDo I have this right? It means your friend hatesyou.you.
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5.5. RESTATING :RESTATING :
PurposePurpose
To show you are listening andTo show you are listening and
understanding what is being said.understanding what is being said. To help the speaker see other points ofTo help the speaker see other points of
view.view.
ExampleExample
So you would like your friends to includeSo you would like your friends to includeyou at recess, is that right?you at recess, is that right?
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6.6. VALIDATING :VALIDATING :
PurposePurpose
To acknowledge the worthiness of the otherTo acknowledge the worthiness of the otherperson.person.
How we can do itHow we can do it
Acknowledge the value of their issues andAcknowledge the value of their issues andfeelings.feelings.
Show appreciation for their efforts and actions.Show appreciation for their efforts and actions.
ExampleExample
I truly appreciate your willingness to resolve thisI truly appreciate your willingness to resolve thismatter.matter.
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Common barriers toCommon barriers to
ListeningListening Constantly comparing yourself to theConstantly comparing yourself to the
speakerspeaker
Trying to mind read what the speakerTrying to mind read what the speakerreally thinksreally thinks
Planning what argument or story to givePlanning what argument or story to givenextnext
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Drafting your advice before the speaker has finishedDrafting your advice before the speaker has finished
Considering every conversation as intellectual debateConsidering every conversation as intellectual debatewith the goal of putting down the opponentwith the goal of putting down the opponent
Believing you are always right and therefore feel noBelieving you are always right and therefore feel no
need to listenneed to listen
Quickly changing the topic or laughing it off if theQuickly changing the topic or laughing it off if thetopic gets serioustopic gets serious
Placating the other person by automatically agreeingPlacating the other person by automatically agreeingwith everythingwith everything
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Some dangers to avoidSome dangers to avoid
while listeningwhile listening Stereotyped reactionsStereotyped reactions
Pretending understandingPretending understanding
OverreactingOverreacting
UnderUnder--reachingreaching
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Long windednessLong windedness
Inattention to non verbal cuesInattention to non verbal cues
Violating the other personsViolating the other personsexpectationsexpectations
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Guidelines forEmpathicGuidelines forEmpathic
ListeningListening Be attentiveBe attentive
Be aware of your facial expression and bodyBe aware of your facial expression and bodylanguagelanguage
Be a sounding boardBe a sounding board
Dont ask a lot of questionsDont ask a lot of questions
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Act like a mirrorAct like a mirror
Dont discount the speakers feelingsDont discount the speakers feelings
Dont let the speaker hook youDont let the speaker hook you
Indicate you are listeningIndicate you are listening
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Follow good listening ground rulesFollow good listening ground rules
Dont interruptDont interrupt
D
ont change the subject or move in a newD
ont change the subject or move in a newdirectiondirection
Dont rehearse in your own headDont rehearse in your own head
Dont interrogateDont interrogate
Dont teachDont teach
Dont give adviceDont give advice
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When to use EmpatheticWhen to use Empathetic
ListeningListening Before you take an actionBefore you take an action
Before you argue or criticizeBefore you argue or criticize
When the other person wants toWhen the other person wants todiscuss a problemdiscuss a problem
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When you sense the other person isWhen you sense the other person is
not verbalizing their problemsnot verbalizing their problems
When another person wants to sortWhen another person wants to sort
out his feelings and thoughtsout his feelings and thoughts
During a direct mutual conversationDuring a direct mutual conversation
When you encounter new ideasWhen you encounter new ideas
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ActivitiesActivities
1.1. Facilitator should ask the students to list any fiveFacilitator should ask the students to list any fivesituation in the following interpersonal situationssituation in the following interpersonal situationswhere they have failed in empathetic listeningwhere they have failed in empathetic listening--
1.1. With members of the familyWith members of the family2.2. With friendsWith friends
3.3. With teachers/authority figuresWith teachers/authority figures
Take the examples from each of these situations andTake the examples from each of these situations and
get the reactions from the class to find how many timeget the reactions from the class to find how many timewe use components of empathetic listening and how thewe use components of empathetic listening and how theeffective use of empathetic listening can change theeffective use of empathetic listening can change thesituation.situation.
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2.2. Role play:Role play:
Divide the class into 3 or 4 groups and giveDivide the class into 3 or 4 groups and giveone situation each . Ask the students toone situation each . Ask the students toenact the scene with common reactions andenact the scene with common reactions andhow empathetic listening can lead to betterhow empathetic listening can lead to betterinterpersonal relationshipinterpersonal relationship
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Examples that can be usedExamples that can be used--
A fellow student is leading a discussion in classA fellow student is leading a discussion in class
convincing your parents to permit you to attendconvincing your parents to permit you to attend
a party in the eveninga party in the evening Working on a group assignmentWorking on a group assignment
you were caught being distracted in class. Howyou were caught being distracted in class. Howdo you settle this issue with the teacherdo you settle this issue with the teacher
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THE ENDTHE END
Thank you!!!Thank you!!!