WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE?

Action Plan to Achieve Lifelong Success

SHIFT YOUR PERCEPTIONS About others About yourself Examples:“She’s (He’s) so good looking, I bet she

(he) is stuck up.”“I can’t do it—I don’t get it at all.”“Me? Smart? Are you kidding? No one

has ever said that before.”

PARADIGMS Paradigm: perception about the way

things areThe way you see somethingYour point of viewFrame of referencebelief

PARADIGMS OF SELF Are your paradigms of yourself helping

or hindering you?Negative paradigms can put limitations on

what we can achievePositive paradigms can bring out the best in

us If you could envision yourself as other

people (and God!!) see you, you can begin to make changes to be the best you that you can be!

PARADIGMS OF OTHERS Are your paradigms of others hindering

you?Seeing things from a different point of view

can help us understand why people act the way that they do

Seeing things from a different point of view can make a BIG difference in our attitude toward others

Our paradigms of others are often inaccurate, incomplete, or completely messed up Don’t be so quick to judge, label, or form rigid

opinions of others (or yourself for that matter!)

PARADIGMS OF LIFE What is the driving force of your life?

What do you spend most of your time thinking about?

Who or what is my obsession? Whatever is most important to you

becomes your paradigm:Friends sports/hobbiesStuff heroesBoyfriend/girlfriend enemiesSchool selfParents work

FRIEND CENTERED Friends should NEVER become your center

Occasionally they are fickle Now and then they are fake Sometimes they talk behind your back They have mood swings They make new friends and forget you They move

If you base your identity on having friends, being accepted, and being popular, you may be compromising your standards and changing yourself to accommodate others

STUFF CENTERED Things have no lasting value Confidence needs to come from within Judge things from the quality of our

hearts not the quantity of things“life should not be judged by the number

of breaths that we take, but by the number of moments that take our breath away”

“if who I am is what I have and what I have is lost, then who am I?”

BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND CENTERED The more you center your life on

someone, the more UNATTRACTIVE you become to that personYou’re no longer hard to getYou become irritatingYou always need to have the “where do we

stand” talksYou are always breaking up and getting

back together (you can’t let go) INDEPENDENCE is more attractive than

dependence

SCHOOL CENTERED So obsessed with good grades that you

forget the real purpose of school is learning

Education should be a top priority, however, worth is not measured by your GPA

Learning happens all the time—not just in a classroom!

You can do well in school and still maintain a healthy balance in your life

PARENT CENTERED Living to please your parents above all

else can be a nightmare Thinking things like:

What would mom and dad want me to do?Will they be proud of me?Will they still love me?Will I ever be good enough?

Parents should be your greatest source of love and guidance

Respect and honor your parents—but be yourself

SPORTS/HOBBY CENTERED Is your identity wrapped up in being a

great athlete? Is your identity wrapped up in what you

do? (dance, cheerleading, baking, etc.) Sports and hobbies are what we do for

activities—NOT who we are

HERO CENTERED Do you build your life around a movie or

rock star, famous athlete, powerful politician?

What would happen if they die, do something really stupid, end up in jail?

Where are you then? Does that person even know you exist?

Do they even care? Admiring someone for what they do is

great, but why focus your life on someone who is may or may not know you are even alive?

ENEMY CENTERED Do you build your life on hate?

Hating a group, person, or idea? Hating someone or something is all

consuming and exhausting!! Use your energy on things that are good

and good for you!!

WORK CENTERED Workaholism is usually driven by the

need to have more stuff: money, cars, status, recognition

Workaholics are never satisfied with what they have

No one will ever tell you on your deathbed that you should have worked more

SELF CENTERED Do you think that the world revolves

around you? Do you think your problems should take

center stage in everyone else’s life? Are you oblivious to those around you? Having a healthy self-esteem is good

but remember that you are NOT the center of the universe

PRINCIPLE CENTERED the REAL thing Principles never fail THINK ABOUT:

Gratitude/thankfulness/sharing Forgiveness/understanding/empathy Harmony/optimism/enthusiasm Integrity/honesty/courage/sincerity Love/caring/thoughtfulness/compassion Perseverance/effort/hard work Humility/modesty Respect/tolerance/courtesy Faith/trust/hope/patience

PRINCIPLE CENTERED

PRINCIPLES

PARENT

SCHOOLWORK

STUFF

SPORTS/HOBBIES

FRIENDS

ENEMY

HEROSELF

BOY/GIRLFRIEND

ASSIGNMENT—PART 1 What principles do you live by? Do your actions and words reflect these

principles? Does the music you listen to reflect

these principles or do the lyrics contradict your principles?

ASSIGNMENT—PART 2 Think of a limiting paradigm you have of

yourself (“I’m not outgoing”) Think of ways you can shift that

paradigmWhat can you do?What actions can you take?

Think of a limiting paradigm you have of others (“all jocks are dumb”)

Think of ways you can shift that paradigmWhat can you do?What actions can you take?

ASSIGNMENT—PART 3 When you have nothing to do, what is it

that occupies your thoughts? (whatever is most important to you will become your paradigm or life-center)

Do you need to change your life center? Do you need to focus more on your

principles?

ASSIGNMENT—PART 4 When you have free time, what do you like

to do? What is your favorite subject in school? When you’re in the magazine section of a

library, bookstore, or grocery store, what type of magazine (sports, computer, fashion, etc.) will you pick up and read first?

Fill in the blank: When I’m ______________, I lose track of time and don’t want anyone or anything to disturb me

If someone asked you what your favorite interests are, what would you say?