act two scene one banquo fleance it sure is a dark night tonight
TRANSCRIPT
ACT TWO
ACT TWOSCENE ONE
BANQUOBANQUO FLEANCEFLEANCE
It sure is a dark night tonight.
ACT TWOSCENE ONE
BANQUOBANQUO FLEANCEFLEANCE
Who’s there?
MAcbeth
ACT TWOSCENE ONE
BANQUOBANQUO FLEANCEFLEANCE
A friend.
MAcbeth
ACT TWOSCENE ONE
FLEANCEFLEANCE
Why aren’t you asleep? I have been dreaming of the weird sisters. They sure
told you what was up, huh?
BANQUOBANQUO
MAcbeth
ACT TWOSCENE ONE
BANQUOBANQUO FLEANCEFLEANCE
I haven’t really thought of them
at all. Hey Banquo, you
always got my back, right?
MAcbeth
ACT TWOSCENE ONE
BANQUOBANQUO FLEANCEFLEANCE
Sure, so long as I keep my
conscience clear and stay loyal to
the king, I’m your man. Good night.
MAcbeth
ACT TWOSCENE ONE
BANQUOBANQUO FLEANCEFLEANCE
ACT TWOSCENE ONE
MAcbeth
Hey servant.
ACT TWOSCENE ONE
MAcbeth
Tell my wife to ring the bell
when my drink is ready.
ACT TWOSCENE ONE
MAcbeth
ACT TWOSCENE ONE
MAcbeth
Am I seeing a dagger? I can’t touch it, but it’s there, leading me to Duncan’s room. My eyes are messing with me.
ACT TWOSCENE ONE
MAcbeth
And now I’m seeing blood on it… I’m an instrument of evil now. Oh, this
sucks. Here goes nothing…
ACT TWOSCENE ONE
MAcbeth
There’s the bell. Hear it not, Duncan, for it will call you to heaven or hell.
ACT TWOSCENE TWO
Lady
MACBETH
Getting the guards drunk has made me
excited!
ACT TWOSCENE TWO
Who’s there? What’s going
on?
Lady
MACBETH
ACT TWOSCENE TWO
Lady
MACBETH
Damnit! My stupid husband is making so much noise, he’ll
wake up the guards! If Duncan hadn’t resembled my father as he slept, I would have killed
him myself.
MAcbeth
ACT TWOSCENE TWO
Lady
MACBETH
Oh man, I’m freaking out! I heard Malcolm and Donalbain
talking in their sleep. One laughed, and the other cried “murder!” They woke each
other and prayed. I tried to join them but I couldn’t pray!
ACT TWOSCENE TWO
Lady
MACBETH
Baby, you’ve got to chill out. Don’t
think about it.
MAcbeth
MAcbeth
ACT TWOSCENE TWO
Lady
MACBETH
But then I heard a voice that said “Macbeth has killed sleep, so he will sleep no more!” I need to sleep – what am I going to do?
ACT TWOSCENE TWO
Lady
MACBETH
What? You’re talking crazy talk. Go wash the blood off your hands…
Hey, is that the daggers in your
hand? You idiot! Those are murder weapons! Go put
them in the guards’ hands!
MAcbeth
MAcbeth
ACT TWOSCENE TWO
Lady
MACBETH
Hell no! I’m not about to go back there!
ACT TWOSCENE TWO
Lady
MACBETH
You sad little idiot. Give me the
daggers. I ain’t scared of the dead and sleeping. If Duncan’s still
bleeding, I’ll use the blood to cover the guards’ faces.
MAcbeth
ACT TWOSCENE TWO
Lady
MACBETH
MAcbeth
MAcbeth
ACT TWOSCENE TWO
What’s up with that knocking? Why am
I so freaked out? Will all the oceans of the world clean the
blood off my hands? No, my hands will dye the seas red.
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
ACT TWOSCENE TWO
Lady
MACBETH
I got just as much blood on my
hands, but my soul is white. Come on! Someone is knocking on the door. We have to
get cleaned up and be ready.
MAcbeth
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
ACT TWOSCENE TWO
Lady
MACBETH
MAcbeth
They’ll wake Duncan with that noise… If only
they could…
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
ACT TWOSCENE THREE
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
Alright, alright, I’m coming. If I were the
porter of hell’s gate, I’d be opening the door a lot
these days. Knock knock, who’s there? A
farmer who killed himshelf because his
crops failed. Come on in to hell and be ready to
shweat.PORTERPORTER
ACT TWOSCENE THREE
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
Who’s there? A shmooth talker who lied all
through life, but couldn’t talk his way into Heaven.
Who’s there? A tailor who ripsh off hith clients. Oh, well, here in hell you can do shome cooking,
right?
PORTERPORTER
ACT TWOSCENE THREE Man, open
the door already!
Enough of this foolishnesh. Here you
go. Don’t forget the Porter.
PORTERPORTER
ACT TWOSCENE THREE
PORTERPORTER
ACT TWOSCENE THREE
LENNOX
What took you so long?
PORTERPORTER
ACT TWOSCENE THREE
LENNOX
Sorry, I’ve been drinking, and it provokes three things – red faces, sleepiness, and urine. It
also provokes horniness, but undoes it at the same time. I’m so
wasted, man.
PORTERPORTER
ACT TWOSCENE THREE
LENNOX
Is Macbeth
up?
PORTERPORTER
MAcbeth
ACT TWOSCENE THREE
LENNOX
Hey Macduff, Lennox,
what’s up?
MAcbeth
ACT TWOSCENE THREE
LENNOX
I told the king I would wake
him up around now. I’ll go wake
him.
MAcbeth
ACT TWOSCENE THREE
LENNOX
Dude, it was a crazy night. The wind blew hard and we heard screams in the night and the
earth shook.
MAcbeth
ACT TWOSCENE THREE
LENNOX
No kidding.
MAcbeth
ACT TWOSCENE THREE
LENNOX
SWEET MERCIFUL
CRAP!!!
MAcbeth
ACT TWOSCENE THREE
LENNOX
DUNCAN IS DEAD!
SAY WHAT?!
MAcbeth
ACT TWOSCENE THREE
LENNOX
SAY WHAT?!
MAcbeth
ACT TWOSCENE THREE
LENNOX
ACT TWOSCENE THREE
EVERYBODY WAKE UP!
ACT TWOSCENE THREE
Lady
MACBETH
BANQUOBANQUO
MALCOLM
DONALBAIN
The king is dead! Dead, I tell you!
ACT TWOSCENE THREE
Lady
MACBETH
BANQUOBANQUO
MALCOLM
DONALBAIN
It’s true! It looks like his guards did it! They were
drunk as skunks!
MAcbeth LENNOX
MAcbeth
ACT TWOSCENE THREE
Lady
MACBETH
BANQUOBANQUO
MALCOLM
DONALBAIN
Yeah, I was so pissed off that I just killed both
of those guards!
LENNOX
MAcbeth
ACT TWOSCENE THREE
Lady
MACBETH
BANQUOBANQUO
MALCOLM
DONALBAIN
What?! Why did you do that?
LENNOX
MAcbeth
ACT TWOSCENE THREE
Lady
MACBETH
BANQUOBANQUO
MALCOLM
DONALBAIN
Yeah, I was just so angry… I had
to kill them… um…
LENNOX
MAcbeth
ACT TWOSCENE THREE
Lady
MACBETH
BANQUOBANQUO
MALCOLM
DONALBAIN
Oh dear, I’m so faint.
LENNOX
MAcbeth
ACT TWOSCENE THREE
BANQUOBANQUO
MALCOLM
DONALBAIN
Help her!
LENNOX
MAcbeth
ACT TWOSCENE THREE
BANQUOBANQUO
MALCOLM
DONALBAIN
What do we do, brother?
LENNOX
MAcbeth
ACT TWOSCENE THREE
BANQUOBANQUO
MALCOLM
DONALBAIN
Don’t say anything here!
One of these guys just killed Dad. Let’s get
out of here!LENNOX
MAcbeth
ACT TWOSCENE THREE
BANQUOBANQUO
MALCOLM
DONALBAIN
I’ll go to England.
LENNOX
MAcbeth
ACT TWOSCENE THREE
BANQUOBANQUO
MALCOLM
DONALBAIN
I’ll go to Ireland. Here, we can’t trust
anybody!
LENNOX
MAcbeth
ACT TWOSCENE THREE
BANQUOBANQUO
MALCOLM
DONALBAIN
LENNOX
MAcbeth
ACT TWOSCENE THREE
BANQUOBANQUO
LENNOX
Alright, let’s get cleaned up and we’ll get together to plan how to catch this murderer.
MAcbeth
ACT TWOSCENE THREE
BANQUOBANQUO
LENNOX
Agreed!
Agreed!
Agreed!
MAcbeth
ACT TWOSCENE THREE
BANQUOBANQUO
LENNOX
ACT TWOSCENE THREE
ACT TWOSCENE FOUR
THE NEXT DAY
ACT TWOSCENE FOUR
OLD MAN
ROSS
Last night sure was strange.
ACT TWOSCENE FOUR
OLD MAN
ROSS
How about today? It’s daytime, but the sun is blocked out, and
it’s black as night.
ACT TWOSCENE FOUR
OLD MAN
ROSS
Yeah, that’s strange. Also,
last week, I saw an owl kill
a hawk.
ACT TWOSCENE FOUR
OLD MAN
ROSS
Oh yeah? How about Duncan’s horses? They went wild and ate each other. That’s super-strange.
ACT TWOSCENE FOUR
OLD MAN
ROSS
Hey guys. Everyone thinks Malcolm and Donalbain must have killed their dad, because they took off so quickly.
ACT TWOSCENE FOUR
OLD MAN
ROSS
So Macbeth is going to be the king then?
ACT TWOSCENE FOUR
OLD MAN
ROSS
Yep. He’s at Scone being crowned. Duncan’s body is in Colmekill being buried. I’m heading home to Fife. I don’t want to see Macbeth crowned.
ACT TWOSCENE FOUR
OLD MAN
ROSS
Alright. See you later.
ACT TWOSCENE FOUR
OLD MAN
ACT TWOSCENE FOUR
OLD MAN
Help control the pet population. Have your pet spayed or neutered.
THE END OF ACT TWO
MACBETH’S CEMETERY
MACDONWALD DRUNK GUARDSDUNCAN