academic writing ii
TRANSCRIPT
4/1/2014
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Academic Writing II
Ninuk Dian K
AcademicwritingIActivities:• Write your own essay draft: analyse topic, find idea, organise
ideas• Topic: Nursing care patients at high risk of disuse syndrome
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Objectives:Students will be able to:• write an introductory paragraph• write a body paragraph• write a concluding paragraph
Processes of Writing
1 Prewriting
2 Planning
3 Searching References
4 Handling References
5 Data Collection and Analysis
6 Writing and Revising Drafts
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1 Prewriting
1.1 Choosing and narrowing a topic
1.2 Brainstorming:
listing
free-writing
clustering
2 Planning
2.1 Writing a Thesis Statement
Report Research Paper
Argumentative Research Paper
2.2 Simple Outlining
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3 Searching References3.1 Library
3.2 Computer
3.3 Other sources
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4 Handling References
4.1 QuotationsDirect Quotations
Indirect Quotations
4.2 Summaries
4.3 Paraphrases
4.4 Avoiding Plagiarism
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5 Data Collection andAnalysis5.1 Methods of Data Collection
Literature Review
Experiments
Fieldwork, etc.
5.2 Analysis and Discussion
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6 Writing and RevisingDrafts
6.1 Writing the First Draft
6.2 Revising Content and Organization
6.3 Blending Reference Materials
6.4 Proofreading the Second Draft for Grammar andMechanics
6.5 Writing the Final Manuscript
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The IntroductionParagraph
Hooking the Reader andFocusing on the Topic
Focus refers to how clearly anessay presents and maintainsthe main idea.The main idea of an essay ispresented in the introductionparagraph in the form of athesis statement.
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The introduction paragraph introducesthe reader to the topic of the essay, thewriter’s opinion, and defines the scopeof the essay.
The IntroductionParagraph
The introduction consists of 3 parts:
Parts of theIntroduction Paragraph
1. A Hook
2. A Bridge Statement
3. A Thesis Statement
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The HookBefore the reader can be convinced of the thesis,he must be convinced to read the essay.The hook contains 1 – 3 sentences used to capturethe reader’s interest in the essay.
It must relate to the topic of the essay in some way.
Hook/Strategy Definition Example
Startling/UnusualStatement or Fact
The writer provides a detail or fact that mayamuse, anger, or intrigue the reader to continuereading.
Five thousand kids are kidnapped each year bysomeone they met while on Myspace.
Three Powerful Words The writer opens with three nouns, three verbs, orthree words that end in “ing.”
Profanity. Nudity. Violence. Each of these is easilyaccessible on Myspace.
Sound Effects(Onomatopoeia)
The writer uses sound effects to create vividimagery to pull the reader into the text.
“Wham!” That is the sound of a front door slamming asanother child races of to meet a stranger they met onMyspace.
Anecdote The writer provides hypothetical or personalexamples to illustrate the topic.
Last summer my friend Kayla went to the mall to meetwho she thought was a cute 15 years-old guy she hadmet on Myspace. To her dismay, the guy turned out tobe a 55 years-old registered sex offender.
Imagine Statement The writer provides a statement that causes thereader to picture (imagine) something.
Imagine your child posting your address and workschedule on Myspace.
Command to the Reader The writer provides the reader with a command. Don’t even think about letting your child browse Myspaceand other social websites without your constantsupervision.
Rhetorical Question The writer asks thought-provoking, maybe evenedgy, questions to capture the reader’s interest.
Did you know that 27% of Myspace users are registeredsex offenders?
Let’s look at some examples of hooks below:
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ThehookPersuasive Essay: Pro-choice abortion
Abortion has been one of the biggest controversies of all time.Many people believe it is immoral and even consider it to bemurder.
LetsTryitOutWith your group members, create a hook statement for yourdisuse syndrome essay
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It would be a mistake to presume that a readeris already familiar with the topic. Aftercapturing the reader’s attention, present thenecessary background the reader needs tounderstand the topic.The bridge statement ties the hook to the promptand thesis statement, while providing the readerwith background information. To add voice toyour writing an possibly increase your score, trywriting your bridge statement as a simile.
The Bridge Statement
A simile is a sentence that compares two unlike things byusing the word like or as.•Example of a simile that uses the word like: Paul eatslike a pig. (In this sentence Paul’s eating habits are beingcompared to the eating habits of a pig to show that Paul isa sloppy eater. The comparison is made using the wordlike.)•Example of a simile that uses the word as: Paul’sexplanation for being late was as clear as mud. (In thissentence Paul’s excuse for being late is compared to mud toshow that Paul’s explanation was not clear or confusingbecause mud is not clear. The comparison is made using theword as.)
Writing the Bridge as a Simile
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Thebridge,example:• The definition of abortion is; “The termination of pregnancy
by the removal or expulsion from the uterus of a fetus orembryo prior to being capable of normal growth.” (King, 2013:12). Pro-life believers do not support the idea of inducedabortion and believe it should be illegal.
• Many of these supporters do not know that if abortion wereillegal they would still be performed, unfortunately by anuneducated staffs. Over 70 thousand maternal deaths occurevery year because of unsafe abortions.
Let’s look at some examples of bridge statements that were writtenas similes for the persuasive prompt below.
Pro-life believers think that abortion should be illegal
Think about the safety issues r.t unsafe abortion by untrainedpersonnel
Now write to convince the reader whether or not abortion belegalised
Example: Banning abortion is as dangerous as killing mothers.
Example: Allowing women to do abortion is as beneficial as preventing mothers death.
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Let’s Try It Out!
In your group, let’s create some similes for disuse syndromeessay
Simile: __________________________________________
Simile: __________________________________________
The Thesis StatementThe thesis statement is the lastsentence in your introductionparagraph that states youropinion/feelings about the topicand your reasons of support.It is a one sentence summary ofyour essay.
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Formula for Creating aThesis Statement
AB
+ CThesis Statement
TopicOpinion
reasons tosupport your
opinion
Writing a thesis statement is as easy as a, b, c.
ExampleAbortion has been one of the biggest controversies of all time.
Many people believe it is immoral and even consider it to be murder.The definition of abortion is; “The termination of pregnancy by theremoval or expulsion from the uterus of a fetus or embryo prior tobeing capable of normal growth.” These pro-life believers do notsupport the idea of induced abortion and believe it should be illegal.Many of these supporters do not know that if abortion were illegalthey would still be performed, unfortunately by an uneducatedstaffs. Over 70 thousand maternal deaths occur every year becauseof unsafe abortions. These women die, so the idea of supportingpro-life is contradictory, this is why the nation should be pro-choice.
The thesis statement comes at the end of the introduction paragraph.The sentence tells the reader that he/she can expect to read abouthow the abortion should be legalised, because it prevents maternaldeath due to unsafe abortion.
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In thesis statements, you should avoid usingstatements like:• “This essay will discuss”• “I’m going to write about”• “In this essay I am going to talk about”Instead, write a thesis statement that capturesyour reader’s attention without announcingyour main topic and stating the obvious.
What Not To Do In ThesisDO NOT state the obvious!
Wording Not to be Usedin a Thesis Statement for aPersuasive Essay
When writing a thesis statement for apersuasive essay DO NOT use statementswith personal pronouns, such as:
• “I think”• “I believe”• “In my opinion”
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Opinion: Abortion should be legalised
Reason: it prevents maternal death Reason: helps women to ease thepain because of unwantedpregnancy from rape
Thesis Statement: A legal abortion should be supported because it can prevent maternaldeath and help women to ease the pain because of unwanted pregnancy from rape
Planning Your ThesisIt is important to plan out your thesis statement is to ensure itstays focused on the topic of the writing prompt.
PromptPeople should support a legal abortionNow explain why abortion be legalised.
Let’s Try It Out!As a class, let’s create a thesis statement for the followingprompt.
Opinion:
Reason: Reason:
Thesis Statement:
PromptMany critically ill patients suffer from disuse syndrome.Think about the impacts of disuse syndrome and how nurses can prevents this untoward events.
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Let’s Try It Out! (continued)Now let’s write the entire introduction paragraph.
Introduction ParagraphHook:
BridgeStatement:
ThesisStatement:
TheBodyparagraph• Explain the idea and supporting details• In argumentative essay on abortion:
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Pro-choice believers support the right to privacy and the idea womenshould have the choice to do what she pleases with her own body. Asan example; a woman is raped by a man and becomes pregnant with hischild. She decides she doesn’t want to keep the baby; she has anabortion because the idea of raising a child of her rapist is too painfulfor her to cope with. Pro-choice defenders take sympathies to thiswoman while she then gets called a murderer by pro-life supporters.Abortions sometimes results in the woman being harassed because ofthe choice she has made about her own body. That’s what pro-lifesupports. Often time’s situations like this turns into harassment whichcan be considered to be part of anti-abortion violence1. These pro-lifesupporters stalk, threaten, and even sometimes kill women who havechosen to have an abortion and even the doctors that provide theprocedures. Pro-life also supports the idea that every child has a right tolive, even if the mother is not financially able to support the child andthe child would struggle everyday along with their mother. Thesechildren would be underprivileged and could potentially die from thecircumstances they’ve be forced to live in. Again this is what people thatare considered to be “pro-life” defend.
Pro-choice supports the girl that is fifteen years oldloses her virginity and becomes pregnant because shewasn’t fully aware of the consequences of her actions.The choice of her keeping the child would result in hergetting kicked out of her home, she’d be finicallyunable to support the baby, and she would lose hereducation. With abortion she would not have to dealwith these issues, though she would have to deal withthe emotional aspect of deciding to terminate thefetus. Pro-choice supports the idea she would learnfrom her mistake and that ultimately it was her choiceto do what she wished with her body. The results of theexperience for this girl would be social maturity andevolution, rather than a state of repression.
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Even though many people practice pro-life because of theirreligion, it may be surprising to learn that catholic women are 29%more likely to get an abortion than Protestant women, thoughthey are as likely as all women to do so2. In Christianity abortionhas been considered homicide since Pope Sixtus V declared it so,but the debate didn’t become heated until the 19th century1. Soeven these pro-life supporters sometimes find the circumstanceswhere abortion is necessary. An example of a situation where youmay see this is in a given situation where bearing a child and givingbirth would kill the mother because of health issues or wombcomplications the fetus would have. It’s said that the risks of deathassociated with childbirth is 10 times higher than that of abortion2.This proves that life is too situational to say whether or notabortion should be illegal.
About 14,000 women get abortions fallowing incest orrape and it is estimated that 43% of women worldwidewill have an abortion by the time they are 45 years old2.It is also estimated that there are 43 million abortions ayear2. Imagine that those abortions had not occurredwith the current population issue in the world, there areover 7 billion people on the planet and we have limitedresources which are depleting quickly. So in a strangeway abortion is beneficial to the planet. Pro-lifesupporters do not see the situations, reasons, andbenefits from abortions. They are ignorant to the reasonwhy many women choose to make the decision they do.
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TheconcludingParagraph
Theconclusionparagraphinanessayofliteraryanalysisfunctionsasfollows:
• It finishes off the essay and tells the reader where the writerhas brought them.
• It restates the thesis and contains echoes of the introductionand body paragraphs without listing the points covered in theessay.
• It creates a broader implication of the ideas discussed andanswers the questions: so what? Or why do we care?
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AnatomyoftheConclusion:• The conclusion begins with a restatement of the thesis,
not a repetition, and gradually widens toward a final ,broad statement of implication.
• Borrows from the body paragraphs, without being flatlyrepetitive or listing points already covered.
• Creates echoes of the introduction and body paragraphsto reinforce analysis/ ideas.
• Moves outward with a statement that relates the thesisto a broader implication so the reader can see theanalytical focus in a larger perspective or application.
StrategiesforComposingConclusions:• Strike a note of hope or despair.• Give a symbolic or powerful detail/fact.• Create an analogy that relates your topic to a larger
implication.• Give an especially compelling example.• Use a meaningful quotation. (If you used a meaningful
quotation in your introduction, refer back to this quote and tieit in with your overall analysis.)
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• Recommend a course of action.• Echo the language and approach of the introduction.• Reference and make meaning of the title of the work you are
analyzing.
Considerthefollowingchecklistwhenwritingaconclusion:• Avoid first-person point of view, abstract/vague language,
poor diction, and slang.• Avoid simply repeating the thesis and/or listing the main
points.• Don’t conclude more than you reasonably can from the
evidence you have presented.• Echo the language and ideas from your introduction and body
paragraphs.
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• Expand on the implications of your analysis: So what? Why dowe care about these ideas? What’s so important about whatyou’ve developed in your paper? Are there any otherapplications for your ideas?
• Avoid any attempts at humor, cuteness, or sarcasm.• The conclusion need not be longer than four to six sentences,
as with the introduction, but must be adequately developed.• Include the title(s) and author(s) once more.
SampleConclusions:• Evaluate the strengths and weaknesses of the sample
conclusions to follow.• Identify possible references to the thesis statements,
introduction, and body paragraphs.• Identify broader implications.• Identify and evaluate other strategies used.
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Pro-choiceabortionIt is clear abortion should remain legal; even if it seems immoralit can often be the best situation for the people that have tomake that tough decision. Pro-choice defends and protects thepeople, it is ultimately the woman’s life that would be affectedand no one else’s, who would the government be to take thataway from us the people? We live in a country based onfreedoms, and women have and should continue to have thefreedom to that choice.
YourturnFrom your outline, please write an essay on disuse syndrome
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