Absurd PatentsAbsurd PatentsGeorgia CTAE Resource Network Georgia CTAE Resource Network

Curriculum Office, May 2009 Curriculum Office, May 2009 To accompany curriculum for the To accompany curriculum for the

Georgia Peach State Career Georgia Peach State Career Pathways Pathways

May 2009, Meghan Cline & Dr. May 2009, Meghan Cline & Dr. Frank FlandersFrank Flanders

Junior JailJunior Jail

► Our inventor had probably Our inventor had probably changed one too many changed one too many diapers the day this diapers the day this invention came to mind.  It's invention came to mind.  It's designed to aid in diaper designed to aid in diaper changing and cleaning up changing and cleaning up the aftermath.  the aftermath. 

► To use, simply place baby To use, simply place baby on his back, secure the on his back, secure the torso barrier and strap in torso barrier and strap in those cute little fluttering those cute little fluttering feet.  Now take your time, feet.  Now take your time, relax, junior isn't going relax, junior isn't going anywhere. anywhere.

Spitting DuckSpitting Duck► Some day we're going to run Some day we're going to run

out of trees to make toilet out of trees to make toilet paper and then we'll all be in paper and then we'll all be in deep cacadoodoo.   deep cacadoodoo.   Fortunately there's an Fortunately there's an inventor who already has a inventor who already has a solution, a solution of soap solution, a solution of soap and perfume that is.   and perfume that is.  

► The Spitting Duck is designed The Spitting Duck is designed to fit most toilets and instead to fit most toilets and instead of using toilet paper, you lift of using toilet paper, you lift the duck's bill and a the duck's bill and a strategically placed nozzle strategically placed nozzle will spray your buttooski with will spray your buttooski with the secret cleaning formula.  the secret cleaning formula.  

Doggie UmbrellaDoggie Umbrella

► Most dogs don't mind going Most dogs don't mind going out in the rain but if little out in the rain but if little Madison Windsor of Belmont Madison Windsor of Belmont the Third just got his coat the Third just got his coat preened, well we couldn't preened, well we couldn't have him getting wet now, have him getting wet now, could we? So it's time to could we? So it's time to clamp him into the fully clamp him into the fully draped, doggone dazzling, draped, doggone dazzling, Doggie Umbrella. It Doggie Umbrella. It features air holes in the features air holes in the front so he won't fog up his front so he won't fog up his personal pup tent and if personal pup tent and if your dog likes attention, your dog likes attention, he's going to be very happy he's going to be very happy wearing this geek chic. wearing this geek chic.

Smell This!Smell This!► P.U., what's that smell? Is P.U., what's that smell? Is

malodorous breath offending malodorous breath offending your friends?  It seems that your friends?  It seems that people with the worst breath people with the worst breath are usually clueless to their are usually clueless to their gaseous gaff.  So how can you gaseous gaff.  So how can you tell if your breath is smelly, tell if your breath is smelly, besides waiting to see if it curls besides waiting to see if it curls your friend's eyebrows?  With your friend's eyebrows?  With the attractive, new "Smell This" the attractive, new "Smell This" breath mask!breath mask!

► The instructions are simple; The instructions are simple; place the mask on your face, place the mask on your face, then breathe out through your then breathe out through your mouth and breathe in through mouth and breathe in through your nose.  Whoa!  Who let the your nose.  Whoa!  Who let the dogs out??  Better grab some dogs out??  Better grab some mints fast! mints fast!

Kissing ShieldKissing Shield► Here it is folks, hot off the Here it is folks, hot off the

presses. If you enjoy kisses presses. If you enjoy kisses but dread the idea of getting but dread the idea of getting a disease, then the Kissing a disease, then the Kissing Shield is a "must have" item. Shield is a "must have" item. This germ barrier consists of This germ barrier consists of a thin latex membrane a thin latex membrane artfully stretched over an artfully stretched over an attractive and romantic attractive and romantic heart shaped frame. heart shaped frame.

► The inventor states the The inventor states the shield is for kissing the shield is for kissing the intended recipient of the intended recipient of the users affection and is also users affection and is also useful for politicians when useful for politicians when kissing babies. Hey, they got kissing babies. Hey, they got our vote.our vote.

Dad SaddleDad Saddle► Yee haw, giddyup! Strollers Yee haw, giddyup! Strollers

are fine for tiny tykes but are fine for tiny tykes but larger kids need their own larger kids need their own modus operandi for modus operandi for freeloading a ride. We think freeloading a ride. We think this kid is way to big to not this kid is way to big to not be hoofing it on his own... be hoofing it on his own... but hey, maybe they're but hey, maybe they're watching a parade.   watching a parade.  

► The Dad Saddle slips around The Dad Saddle slips around Daddio's waist and evenly Daddio's waist and evenly distributes the weight load distributes the weight load on his hips for maximum on his hips for maximum comfort. We want to know comfort. We want to know where the reins are for where the reins are for steering this steed and we steering this steed and we highly recommend no spurs! highly recommend no spurs!

Toilet TimerToilet Timer► Time is of the essence.  Time is Time is of the essence.  Time is

money.  Time waits for no one.  money.  Time waits for no one.  Time to get off the throne!  And Time to get off the throne!  And how do you know when it's time to how do you know when it's time to get moving?  With the handy, get moving?  With the handy, dandy Toilet Timer.  Our inventor dandy Toilet Timer.  Our inventor says that often, many people have says that often, many people have to use one bathroom, creating a to use one bathroom, creating a serious need for bathroom time serious need for bathroom time awareness.  Oh, we know what awareness.  Oh, we know what you're thinking, why not put the you're thinking, why not put the clock on the wall like you do in the clock on the wall like you do in the kitchen?  kitchen? 

► Our inventor thinks that wall space Our inventor thinks that wall space in the Loo is at a premium and best in the Loo is at a premium and best left for room decor such as ceramic left for room decor such as ceramic fishes with ceramic bubbles fishes with ceramic bubbles bubbling upwards.  We guess bubbling upwards.  We guess having the Toilet Timer beats having the Toilet Timer beats holding an egg time between your holding an egg time between your knees and the best news yet...it's knees and the best news yet...it's flush mounted (pun intended)! flush mounted (pun intended)! 

Sunburn CowboySunburn Cowboy► Hey, we all know how to have fun in Hey, we all know how to have fun in

the sun.  Outdoor sports and beach the sun.  Outdoor sports and beach activities help make summer special.  activities help make summer special.  But sunburned shoulders are the But sunburned shoulders are the opposite of fun so it's important to opposite of fun so it's important to protect yourself.  Well it's time to protect yourself.  Well it's time to saddle-up cowboy and next time you saddle-up cowboy and next time you jump into your Speedo, don't forget jump into your Speedo, don't forget to don your fringe infested anti-to don your fringe infested anti-sunburn vest.sunburn vest.

► The fringe is designed to prevent a The fringe is designed to prevent a tan line of demarcation, but, we're tan line of demarcation, but, we're thinkin' those shoulders straps will thinkin' those shoulders straps will cancel out any fringe benefits.  One cancel out any fringe benefits.  One thing we're sure of… whether he's thing we're sure of… whether he's taking a casual stroll on the beach or taking a casual stroll on the beach or whacking a volleyball with the boys, whacking a volleyball with the boys, our butt-less friend is sure to turn our butt-less friend is sure to turn some heads.  some heads.