aamet life magazine - spring 2011

8/14/2019 AAMET Life Magazine - Spring 2011

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SPRING 2011

HE MAGAZINE OF THE ASSOCIATION FOR THE ADVANCEMENT OF MERIDIAN ENERGY TECHNIQ

DOSSIER16 PAGE SPECIAL

SPRING CLEANYOUR LIFE

LIFEAAMET

PLUS:A PRACTITIONERS GUIDE TO ERADICATE SHAME

The courage to

PRESENTAn inspiring EFT sto

META-Medicinen Interview with Richard Flook

ARTICLE

SELF SABOTAGE


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Welcome!

The articles published in the AAMET Magazine represent

the views of the contributor/author and are not necessarily

the ofcial views of the AAMET as an organisation. The

magazine or members of the Editorial team are in no way

liable for such opinions. Whilst every care has been taken

to ensure that the contents of this issue are accurate, we

cannot be held responsible for any inaccuracies or late

changes. No article, advertisement or graphic may be

reproduced without written permission from the author or

publisher.

editor & design

Kay Gire

[email protected]

deputy editor

Jane Unsworth

[email protected]

advertising

Communications Team

[email protected]

AAMET

[email protected]

www.aamet.org

AAMETLIFE SPRING 2011 www.aamet.org

Proud

to be yourAssociation!

If you would like to submit features

or contribute to the magazine please

send your ideas to our Editor. For en-

quiries or information on advertising

please contact our Communications

Team. For information about becom-

ing a member of AAMET, please visit

the website and join online.

If you feel down after the winter then

hopefully our Spring edition will lift your

spirits and encourage you to motivate

yourself into trying something new. Forme, the Universe has decided that I

should become involved with cancer sup-

port groups here on the island of Malta and Gozo. For

the AAMET theres an air of excitement about the crea-

tion of a new AAMET Research Team.

Theres also the anticipated May Gathering in Birming-

ham that includes an AAMET Trainers Conference

on 20th May and the Executive Committees (AEC)

rst Annual General Meeting (AGM) on the evening of

Saturday 21st May. You can register for the TrainersConference through the AAMET website. At the AGM

each of the AEC members will present a report on their

achievements during the rst year and the accounts will

also be available for inspection. We will also be putting

ourselves up for election to serve for a term as stipulat-

ed in the Statute. You will have the opportunity to vote

at the AGM and in the future we will look into the pos-

sibility of opening this up to a postal ballot. When our

global mailing facility is fully operational we will also be

canvassing votes from you on various issues. This is

what belonging to a democratic Association such as theAAMET gives its members - reassurance and empow-

erment.

By the way, were happy to announce our member-

ship numbers are now in the 1,000s and rising. Please

spread the word about our good work and the benets

of being a member of the AAMET.

Thank you

Helena Fone, AAMET Chairperson

Our purpose is to share, help and

support anyone interested in but not

limited to, Meridian Energy Therapies.

The AAMET welcomes members from

all over the world


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LIFE

Spring 2011Contents

Regulars

SPRING-CLEAN YOUR LIFE

FeaturesAAMET SPRING EFT GATHERING:YOUR PERSONAL INVITATION

THE COURAGE TO BE PRESENT:

AN INSPIRATIONAL EFT STORY

6

10

ReviewFEATURING THERAPY: META- MEDICINE

An interview with Richard Flook

16

ArticlesSELF SABOTAGE:HEALING THE PARTS

THAT DONT WANT TO HEAL

THE POWER OF WRITINGA LETTER

STICK MEN IN EFT: A GENTLE WAY TO

RECONNECT WITH YOURSELF

4

8

9

Dossier

IS 4-YR OLD YOU STILL RUNNING

YOUR LIFE?

ERADICATING SHAME: THE

PRACTITIONERS GUIDE

24

34 CAUSE OR EFFECT? THE BENFIT OF

BEING IN A STATE OF CAUSE

36

AAMET

EVENTS UPDATE:AAMET 2011

EFT NORTH GATHERING

22


10

4

24

22


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All problems were once solutionsMilton Erickson

n many cases, the attempted solution to a prob-

lem has become the problem itself. This is thecase in any addiction and in other issues such

as anxiety, depression, or anger.

The problem exists because a part of your sub-

conscious is holding on to strategies that no longer

work. These parts have a positive intention for us, itsjust that the strategy theyve chosen to achieve that

positive intention, is not working.

For example, the subconscious may see us become

anxious in a certain situation and then it looks for

times when it thinks feeling being anxious might be

useful. Soon it will recognise 100s and maybe 1000sof triggers that remind it to help you to be anxious,

without any conscious thought on your part.

Its positive intention is to keep you safe by remind-

ing you to look at a situation carefully. It doesnt rea-

son whether its self appointed task is useful or not,

it just does it. The good news is that the part of youwhich activates this behaviour will be equally happy

to do something more useful for you if you tell it what

you would like it to do!

article

Self SabotageHealing theparts that

dont want

to healby Jacqui Crooks, EFT Master

I



5/40

It is possible to work with the part that is holding onto this behaviour to create more useful, more effec-

tive and more creative strategies to achieve the same

positive outcome, without creating the problem.

A possible statement could be Even though the

part thats creating this anxiety is working hard for me,

Id like it to understand that what it does, isnt work-

ing. Id like it to create a safer, healthier and more

creative way of fullling its positive intention. I thank

it for its help and I deeply and completely love and

accept all parts of me. Although long, this statement

gives an instruction to the subconscious to make safeand healthy changes and also accepts it for what it

has done, which collapses the resistance to change.

It may be possible to nd when and where a part was

created and then to nd its purpose in your life.

Often we are holding on to beliefs or patterns of

behaviour that we created very early on in our life.

When we become aware of them and their purpose

its possible to reframe using EFT.

Even though when I was little, dad shouted at me

and I thought he didnt love me, its possible that

with his background, he didnt know how else to

show his love.The part may be our inner child, the part of us that

was damaged early on, or that took on board otherpeople's beliefs or fears that were given to us, usu-

ally with love, to keep us safe. Asking the client to

nd that little child and ask it what it needs to be

healed can allow profound changes. If it needs to

be loved and accepted, the EFT statement couldbe - Even though little Mary doesnt feel loved and

accepted, I choose to give her the love and accept-

ance she needs!"

Parts can also be used very effectively when yourintuition suggests there might be a reason to hold

on to the problem but the client may not accept that

reason.

This can be particularly useful when dealing with

secondary gain. No client can argue if you intro-

duce a statement which says: Even though part of

me may believe that I need to keep this problem,I deeply and completely accept myself, especially

that part. Accepting that part for what it does, will of-

ten be enough to allow things to change. It releases

the need for resistance. The part that creates theproblem is so used to the client ghting it, that when

theres nothing to ght, it may just let go.

If the client accepts that there is a reason to hold

on to the problem, incorporate that reason in your

statement. It will usually be a reversals.

Even though part of me is scared to let this go,

because who will I be then? I deeply and com-

pletely accept myself. Or Even though part of me is

scared to let this go, because who will I be then? Ichoose to be curious and excited about discovering

who I am and to be comfortable just being me. Itsall I can be, so I may as well enjoy it!

Be creative with your statements. Dont worry about

perfection, just do it, if it doesnt work, do something

else instead. Remember Theres no failure, only

feedback.

Jaqui Crooks, EFT Master

www.beacontraining.co.uk



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LOCATION & BOOKINGThe Spring Gathering 2011 will be held in The Ramada Hotel Sutton

Coldeld, (B76 1LH) which is centrally accessed by all major routes. Set

in beautiful surroundings with a small lake and 14 acres of extensivegrounds for a breath of fresh air to recharge those energy cells during

the breaks. It includes a spa and gym for residents to chill or exercise.

Its 7 miles from the centre of Birmingham and only 25 minutes fromBirmingham International airport so even those north of the border can

y in and join the fun!Find out more about this fun and exciting event please go to

www.springgathering.org where you will be able to book and pay for

your place. We look forward to

We believe the EFT Spring Gathering is extremely good value-for-mon-

ey and, importantly, it is not for prot everyone pays the registrationfee and everyone helps out however they can, even if its just by spread-

ing the word. This year it only costs *125, including your two course

lunches and refreshments. People can attend for one day of they wish

for 80. Go to www.springathering.orgto book your place at this excit-

ing event. (*EFT Spring gathering event, Saturday and Sunday only).

AAMET Gathering

Your personal

initation...

EFT Spring Gathering21st & 22nd May 2011

Tis May sees the launch o the UKs first EF Spring Gathering which isbeing held in Sutton Coldfield in the Midlands. Over two days ourteen

dynamic and interesting speakers will share their passions, coering a broadrange o topics om working with Children and Serious illness to Perorm-

ance and using EF with minor ailments.

R

THE SPRI



7/40AAMETLIFE SPRING 2011 www.aamet.org

GUEST SPEAKERS & ACTIVITIESWe are also excited to announce that

international speaker and creator of

Faster EFT, Robert Smith, will be join-ing us on Saturday morning to share his

passion of using his faster EFT method.

A session not to be missed!

We are running four inter-

esting and diverse one day

workshops on Friday 20th

May; Opening our hearts andminds to Integrative Care for

cancer, serious Illness and

their prevention with Dr Kate

Jamesand Linda Wood,EFT on the Edge with Gil-

lian Wightman and Creating

an effective and successful

Practice with Roy Martin.

Finally, An

Introduction to Faster EFT

with Robert Smith.

Your time at the Spring

Gathering will be informa-

tive, fun, friendly, and

hopefully enjoyable as youspend time in a community

of like-minded and like-

hearted people. Over thetwo or three days you will

hear from exciting speak-

ers who are enthusiastic

about their eld of workand will share their life-

transforming experiences

using EFT and associated techniques.

You will also get to watch some amaz-

ing live sessions you may even be the one in the chair! There willbe ample opportunities to mix and connect with others with similar

interests and to make new friends.

It is an excellent way to get informed, in-

spired, develop skills and network so you can

move your EFT practise forward to another

level. Or if you just have an interest in En-

ergy Psychology specically EFT Techniques

the Spring Gathering will give you a deeperinsight and understanding of how you can use

it in your every day life. You will have ample

opportunity to chat with the speakers and

browse the exhibit stalls over the two days. On Saturday evening

spend time with friends old and new for dinner, entertainment and

some fun. We will be holding a rafe which is accumulating someamazing prizes which include one to one sessions with some of the

most experienced Masters and Practitioners in the world, books

DVDs and lots more. The only thing is you have to be at the Gath-

ering to buy your tickets

"I am just coming back down to earth, what an unbelievably marvellous

experience on many levels

Comment from the Ilkley Gathering 2010

The AAMET AGM & TRAINERS CONFERENCEThis year we are supporting the AAMET with their AGM

and Trainers conference. The AGM will be held at 6pm on

the Saturday 21st May in the Windows on the Lake Suite,

attendance is free to all AAMET members. Visit the AAMETsite for more details www.aamet.org

The Trainers Conference will be held on Friday 20th May

in the Penns Quay Suite. This years trainers conferencewill take a different direction than the previous one. It is

to be a more informal day with a two way ow of informa -

tion between the organisation and its trainers. There willbe information for the trainers, the opportunity to share

best practice and ask questions. The AAMET manage-

ment team want to provide the day as a platform that both inform its

senior members and for them to be informed by them. The Trainers

Conference is 50 which covers the day and includes a two course

lunch and refreshments. Visit the AAMET site www.aamet.orgfor

more information and to book your place (AAMET Trainers only).

Monies from the Gathering and generous donations will be put intoa new fund being setup by the Spring Gathering team to benet

those working in the Energy Psychology eld called Pay It Forward

Fund (PIFF). The fund with give out grants to various projects and

benefactors will be asked to help pay it forward by paying backa monetary sum or their time which can then be donated for good

causes. (Editors correction - All funds do NOT go to AAMET).

For more information about the event go to

www.springgathering.org

tel, Sutton Coldfeld

RING 21st & 22nd MAY 2011



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y client Marie, a former

skeptic of EFT, wantedme to share this brief

story with you. What I've

outlined here is a varia-

tion of the Tell the Story technique,

which I call "Write a Letter" and it is

one I'd use again.

Marie came to see me because she

hadn't been able to lose any weight

and knew it was because she fre-

quently resorted to comfort foods. Itwas no surprise then when her eat-

ing habits changed after the sudden

death of her husband 3 years ear-

lier. Marie had so much hurt, guilt,and sadness within her but could

not connect these emotional issues

with her diet. She kept saying, "Why

can't you just tap me not to eat?"

She was a bit skeptical of EFT so westarted tapping on her belief that it

The Power of Writing a

Letterby Helena Fone

AAMET CHAIRPERSON

Hidden and shifing aspects are something we ofen come across in EF and Ihave equently dealt with clients where this has been a problem. Experiencehas taught me a lot, and I have great respect and admiration or those I have

learned om.

the words owed and owed abouthow she wished she'd gone to Am-

sterdam with him when he asked, ifonly she'd been more vigilant about

his illness, if only she'd been there

when he died, how she wished she

never nagged him about his slip-

pers near the front door and so on.

As with the Tell the Story technique

I asked her to stop at any point

where she felt an emotion (and do

EFT on it). There were many tearsand lots of laughter about the good

times. After a couple of sessions,her problem with comfort food dis-

appeared quickly.

Marie recognized her eating pat-

terns were a result of her loneli-

ness. She later joined a women's

group and gave a talk on EFT and

the rest are now all avid students of

this wonderful technique!

wouldnt work. Then we graduallymoved on to her sadness which

reduced from a level of intensity of

more than 10 on a scale of 0 to 10,

to a healthy 0 out of 10 with a sigh

at the end. We had the same suc-

cess with the hurt and all the other

emotions and aspects that cropped

up.

When I moved on to the guilt, some

shifts were taking place but there

seemed to be many aspects. I hadan idea that might help. Marie had

told me her husband often worked

away from home so I asked herif she were to write a letter to her

husband and he was able to read it,

what would she write.

She thought about this for a minute

and hesitated so we tapped, Even

though I don't know how to begin

this letter to George Very soon,

M

EFT technique



9/40AAMETLIFE SPRING 2011 www.aamet.orgAAMETLIFE SPRING 2011 www.aamet.org

EFT technique

hen Im working on my own issues I

often nd that Im struggling to see

exactly how I feel about something.

For instance, I know that something

makes me angry but tapping on being angry

doesnt feel like its getting me anywhere fast.

So I use a different tool to take myself out of

the situation and get a better look at whatshappening.

I imagine that Im drawing stick men to repre-

sent the situation. This starts with a stick manof me and often includes a scene and other

people. I draw the scene if I feel that it will

help, however I nd that my visualisations aregood enough to get me started most of the

time.

I look at the stick man of me and see how hes

feeling. (I always use stick man as I dont feel

the need to be politically correct with gender).I look at his body language and his expres-

sion. I ask myself where he is and if anyone

else is there. If there is another person, how

are they feeling? How big are the stick menin relation to each other, if they have colours

then are they relevant and what are they?

Then I do the part which is most important for

me. I ask myself how I feel looking at the stick

man. I often nd that what comes up for me isquite unpleasant and gets worse, hence my

resistance to see it in the rst place. I oftennd that I cant accept the stick man, but I

can usually accept my feelings about him. For

instance, I may feel hate or disgust and I allow

these feelings and tap on them. Sometimes

I nd that pacing up and down helps me to

release big negative feelings. I try to keep the

phrasing simple and just repeat what Im feel-

ing, such as I hate you. I always refer to the

stick man as you or she depending on how

distant I want to feel. This varies as I go along

and I just say what feels right.

A gentle way to reconnect with yourself

As I watch the stick man in his scene and tap on my feeling,

my feelings can get worse for a while. I just keep going, no-

ticing any changes which may come up and allowing myself

to say whatever I feel. After a while my feelings start to mel -

low a little and I can start to add phrases like I cant acceptyou yet but Im working on it to acknowledge my end goal.

The outcome is or the stick man to be happy and for me to

feel acceptance of him. I prefer anyone else who may have

cropped up to have left the scene. I believe that my issues

start with me and end with me.

I nd it a little scary how big my negative feelings about my-

self can be sometimes, but I always enjoy the relief I get on

the issue after the tapping.

With so much energy going into negative things I like to think

of it as a chunk of energy Ive reclaimed for something crea-

tive and powerful.

As variations

on a theme,

use the follow-

ing:

- Imagine that

I have a big

piece of paper

attached to

the wall and

do nice big

clear drawingson this

- Actu-

ally have a big

piece of paper

attached to

the wall for

drawings

- Use a white

board

- Imagine a3D scene on a

table top

- Sketch in

a notebook.

Re-draw every

few rounds

as it clarieswhat changes

have occurred. www.behappi.co.uk

[email protected]

W

Stick Men

with EFTby Karen Young


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The courageto be

PRESENT...An Inspirational EF Story

feature



over the phenomenon that just as soon

as I have had a personal breakthrough

or discovered a new technique or vari-

ation to help myself, I have been called

on to use that learning, sometimes im-

mediately afterwards, with a client.

I had experienced an almost continual

state of anxiety, depression and dis-

sociation, interspersed with periods of

feeling well, sometimes too well andslightly manic, since my early teens.

I was absolutely convinced that if I

went to the Doctor and told her what

was really going on in my head that I

would be locked up. So I didnt. I kept

a very tight lid on what was really go-

ing on even from myself. For a lot of

the time, and for many years, I man-

aged to present a good picture to the

outside world that was very different

to the internal chaos and struggle that

was really going on. What was really

going on was a very mixed picture. Iwas experiencing an internal world that

was chaotic, confused, fragmented

and ever changing. I felt different all

the time, sometimes within the hour,

denitely within a day. I could feel like

dying, ying, screaming, laughing or

running away. And of course the way

I thought I could help myself with this

changed all the time too.

Over the years I tried sensible things

that werent always that helpful, like

Counseling, Psychotherapy, Psycho-analysis, Reiki, Spiritual Healing,

Homeopathy, Diet, Exercise and DIY.

I also tried not so sensible things that

always felt helpful (at the time!) but

were distressing for the people around

me, like binge drinking, shopping,

shoplifting, self harm, risky behaviour

and crazy schemes. This state of anxi-

ety and inner chaos was very tiring and

meant that I never really got anywhere

because I was always changing the

goalposts, and the eld, and the foot-

ballbut it was something that I justcoped with. he depression was another

matter. When the depression came

it bought with it other mad feelings.

Feeling like I wasnt real, or attached to

my body, or feeling as though the world

wasnt real, or feeling as though the

world wasnt safe, there was no clean

air to breathe and everyone was out to

get me.

Because I was so afraid of being

locked up I didnt go to see a Doctor

about what I was experiencing until I

was in my late 20s. From then on my

involvement with mental health serv-

ices was a mixed blessing, at times I

was grateful for the medication as it

provided respite from intolerable feel-

ings and did prevent me from killing

myself. At other times it seemed to

make what I was experiencing worse

or I was so heavily medicated that Icould not function as a parent, wife or

human being. Every time I went to see

a new Doctor, Psychologist or Psy-

chiatrist they would change or alter my

diagnosis. A diagnosis can be partially

useful in that it can help you and other

people better understand or empathise

with your experience, it also enables

you to connect wit other people who

share similar experiences to you. Men-

tal and emotional confusion can feel

very isolating and any experience of

community, whether real or virtual, willhelp you to feel more connected and

hopeful.

The relationship that I have with my

current diagnosis is one of interested

nonattachment. Post Traumatic Stress

Disorder and Dissociative Identity

Disorder describe my experiences and

internal world better than any disorder

Ive yet been labeled with, however

I dont want my identity to become

bound up by them. And as I move

further and further into wellness I also

object to the term disorder. As I see

it my madness has been a mysterious

and magical force for good, which has

protected me in the very best way it

possibly could. Even the darkest parts

of my journey and the most terrifying of

my inner people have transformed into

my wisest and most thorough teach-

ers.

When I rst started using EFT it was

purely as an anti-anxiety medication.

I had been sent away from an EMDR

therapist who felt that she was unableto help me, with Gwyneth Mosss ABC

tapping sheet. Little did this woman

know just how helpful she had been. I

used the 3 point calmer just on its own

and was amazed. I had never found

anything that could have that kind of

immediate, long lasting effect, except

for tranquilisers, and even those lose

their efcacy over time. Everyone is

amazed when they discover EFT for

the rst time but for someone who had

The courage to be present

Jessica Mr talked about

her journey with EFT at the

Northern EFT Gathering,

Craiglands Hotel, Ilkley,

January 2011.

What follows is a transcript

of her talk.

Part One A State of Chaos

Id like to talk to you today about how

EFT has helped me to overcome seri-

ous mental health challenges in the

hopes that increasing numbers of us

will feel able to bring our knowledge

and experience to this eld. I will tell

you a little of my own story and Ill go

into some detail about how I have used

tapping to facilitate my recovery overthe past year. Hopefully you will be

able to extract something useful from

this to use in your own practice with

yourself or with others.

I feel as though I have had a bit of a

whirlwind romance with EFT, as do

many of us when we are rst intro-

duced to it! I have had to adapt how I

worked with it but I have also stayed

true to the core principles as taught to

me so soundly by Gwyneth Moss and

as I interpreted them from Gary Craigs

training DVDs. Ill give you someexamples of the ways in which I have

worked with myself and of how that

has changed over time. I have found

that working with myself has been

incredibly useful, crucial even; to the

work I have done with clients. We are

only able to go with someone as far as

we have been ourselves, the further I

can go with my own healing and devel-

opment, the further I can accompany

another. I have experienced over and


12/40

accepting every bizarre, scary, unu-

sual, crazy thought, word or feeling is

all we need to do. Without questioning

or analyzing or judging, just allowing

this reality to be, to exist as it is, just for

now. I had an experience of working

with someone when for 2 hours I didnt

understand a single sentence that he

was saying. He was obviously in great

distress and in a state of profounddepression. All I could offer was my

undivided attention and presence as I

sat with him, providing witness to his

experience by listening deeply; empa-

thizing with his emotions and offering

his jumbled words back to him through

the tapping. Towards the end of the

session his face relaxed and his eyes

cleared as he said the words drum-

ming, its like drumming, with a soft

smile. Perhaps he was talking about

the rhythm of the tapping, or perhaps

he was feeling as relaxed as he didwhen he was drumming. At any rate,

somehow, just by being together with

his darkness he had reconnected to

his light.

Apart from not digging for early memo-

ries, another precaution I had to take,

and I would urge you to take with your

complex trauma clients (and you wont

always know who these are because

they wont always know who they are,

if they are dissociated with repressed

memories) is to be gentle and wary

when working with body sensations at

rst.

Although I was fascinated by this tech-

nique I was aware that for me, work-

ing with somatic experience was also

playing with a loaded gun because I

could very easily slip into accessing

body memories of the abuse that I

had repressed and from there become

overwhelmed and dissociated.

For example, early on in my use of

EFT, somewhere between Level 1 and2, I was tapping for a reluctance to

go to work. Tapping on the words and

thoughts around this wasnt touching it

so I then went to the strongest physi-

cal sensation, which was of extreme

anxiety in my stomach. I described

what this sensation was like to myself

while tapping and that reduced it. As I

was tuning more deeply into the sensa-

tions in my stomach I became aware

of the presence of a child. As I tapped

I asked myself what is this stomach

had tapping to accompany me through

these moments however, I would be

able to move into a different state

within minutes and be back to my self

in half an hour.

Part Two Being in the Moment

So I began my EFT practice by tap-

ping very gently and cautiously, skirting

around anything big, or anything thatfelt like it might lead somewhere big.

I tapped whenever I was walking, or

waiting, or panicking. A lot of the time

I didnt need words at all because my

emotions were still fairly extreme so I

was already well tuned in to whatever

the problem was. I made very good

use of the nger points, as these were

inconspicuous while walking or in pub-

lic. I had also found that if I was really

distressed tapping on my face could

feel like a violent act, or could lead

me towards a violent feeling towardsmyself, whereas the nger points felt

more distant and safe. Ive since had

this corroborated by several clients,

particularly those who dissociate eas-

ily or self harm. I think now that what

all this gentle, generalised tapping

was doing was calming down all the

rough, haywire edges, and it got me

to a place where I was safely able to

enter therapy and start working on my

deeper issues with an EFT Practitioner

I would recommend this approach for

anyone youre working with, including

yourself, who is particularly fragile and

traumatized. There are different places

in which we can begin but the very

best is where our client is. If they have

suffered from childhood trauma, known

or unknown, they will be out here

somewhere, so thats where you have

to begin, out here. And while theyre

out here, the things they may say,

may not make sense to you, thats ok,

just give them back to the client word

for word.One of the biggest problems and ob-

stacles to recovery for people who suf-

fer from extreme anxiety, depression,

dissociation or unusual beliefs is their

feeling of isolation. There are often no

words for the things that they are ex-

periencing and hardly ever anyone to

share their reality with. Tapping is a gift

that we can give to ourselves and to

others when we are having these ex-

periences. Simply acknowledging, and

featurelived at the mercy of their emotions this

was truly revolutionary. A 100% effec-

tive, portable, free method of calming

anxiety and neutralizing emotion, that

wasnt addictive, harmful or had any

side effects. Like many of us I was

hooked from the rst and then studied

as much as I could on the Internet be-

fore beginning training with Gwyneth.

As I learnt how to work with EFT ina more sophisticated way however,

I began to come up against some

obstacles. The rst was going for the

memory, which of course we often

want to do in order to clear out the

roots of the presenting emotional or

physical problem for the client or our-

selves. However, I knew that I had re-

pressed memories of incest as a young

child and so the most frightening EFT

phrase for me was, When was the rst

time you felt like that? My childhood

memories were a no-go area, off limits,a battleeld of undetonated explosions.

Any tapping that I did had to stay in the

present and I did this by working very,

very generally on things that were oc-

curring at that moment. A moment-by-

moment awareness of the present was

not a mindfulness practice that I had

learnt from Buddhism but what I had

learnt through personal experience as

a technique to keep me alive.

In the past, sometimes my feelings

of hopelessness, darkness or crazi-ness had been so intense that I felt

as though I was literally clinging onto

a cliff edge with my ngertips. At any

moment I could fall and would never

recover and the only way to keep

clinging, to keep hold of that tenta-

tive contact with the rock was to be

utterly present in that one moment.

If I looked back the past would over-

whelm me, if I looked forward the

future would annihilate me, the only

place I was safe, and breathing, was

the present and so I had to stay in thatpresent moment or die (at least thats

what it felt like). I did this by noticing

what was in the present moment and

describing it to myself. Chair, carpet,

blue, crumb, hurt, ache. Sometimes

I couldnt even nd words and I would

simply count the moment by, second

by second, 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10, -

1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10. This state could

last for days, or even weeks but I

would survive. I would hang on. Once I

2 AAMETLIFE SPRING 2011 www.aamet.org



anxiety child like. The image that I re-

ceived was horrifying, it was of a baby

who was burned and black and vomit-

ing from every pore of his skin. This

was deeply disturbing and stopped me

in my tracks.

All I could do was what I knew, which

was moment-by-moment witness-

ing, together with the condence that

tapping changed things. So I just didcontinuous tapping, describing what

I was seeing and tuning frequently

into the imagery to check how it was

changing. As I did this the tension and

disturbance within me gradually re-

duced until I could watch and witness

as a protected, detached observer. The

intense and manic vomiting in the im-

agery lessened and the baby lightened

in colour until I was left with a baby

who just seemed completely wiped out

and was constantly oozing uid. I let

myself describe what I was seeing insimple words and then repeated those

exact words back to myself through the

tapping. Constantly oozing uid baby,

completely wiped out. After that round

I felt much better and when I returned

to the imagery found that the child had

vanished. At rst this concerned me,

but I didnt feel scared, so I just had

to trust my internal imagery, whatever

was happening was the right proc-

ess for me. I noticed that the baby

had left a blanket behind and this felt

signicant, as though the blanket held

the experience, that the blanket had

witnessed and seen things but the

blanket was ne, the blanket was going

to be ok. As I became aware of these

thoughts I tapped with them too until I

felt completely at peace and the blan-

ket also disappeared from the image.

I was blown away by this experience.

Had I tapped into a memory or a

frozen part of myself? I didnt know. All

that I knew was that the imagery was

relevant and meaningful to me and thatthrough tapping, something that at rst

seemed unmanageable, horrifying and

distressing, transformed into feelings

of relief, release, peace and wellbeing.

Having discovered this way of working

accidentally I then seized upon exam-

ples of anyone else who was combin-

ing imagery and EFT in order to afrm

that this was a valid technique. I read

about Imagineering and Inner Theatre

and Betty Moore-Hafters work with

parts and Gillian Wightmans work with

the anxious and dissociated.

I was too cautious to work in this way

by myself however, I had no way of

knowing what else lay in wait in my

subconscious and I considered myself

lucky to have got away with it this

time. What I needed was to work with

a skilled therapist and to nd an EFT

mentor for my practice who was expe-rienced in this eld, and I have been

lucky enough to nd both of these

roles in Gillian Wightman. It is through

working with her that I have begun to

learn more about the internal world

of someone who has been through

complex childhood trauma and how

the parts of ourselves that all of us ex-

perience as part of our multiple human

consciousness, become more distinct

and separated for traumatised people,

as a result of the extra burden we have

to carry in protecting us from our expe-rience and from our memories.

My view on mental health is that it is

a continuum of human experience. All

of us have low days and up days, all

of us experience inner voices, were

all aware of different aspects of our

personality, one of which might be

critical, another of which is playful, and

all of us hold some beliefs that others

dont share. For some of us, perhaps

due to experiences that we have lived

through and been unable to digest,these shared experiences move to the

higher end of the continuum. Our up

days may be really up and involve the

grandest of hare-brained schemes;

our low days may nd us hatching a

suicide plan. The different aspects of

our sub-personalities may feel stronger

than our core self and threaten to harm

or overwhelm us. Rather than being a

quietly critical monologue of thought,

an inner voice may be projected out-

wards to become an external voice that

shouts abuse at us. We may believenot just that people are talking about

us but that they have planted a secret

recording device in our living room.

For all of us however, no matter where

we are on the continuum, tapping can

make a profound difference to our

peace of mind and therefore our qual-

ity of life. Of course, if someone ap-

pears particularly fragile or distressed

we need to proceed with real caution

as I did with myself and as I continue

The courage to be presentto do with my clients. We should not

think about working on early memories

or internal parts, or focusing on body

sensations until we have established a

strong relationship with the client, clear

safety protocols (and for these we can

add to our EFT toolbox with techniques

from the eld of EMDR and Somatic

Trauma Therapy) and proved in gentle

ways to their whole system that EFTcan hold them and their emotions se-

curely and safely. We may also need to

be particularly clear about our bounda-

ries and availability, as someone who

struggles with their own boundaries

may challenge these.

As I have learnt more about the struc-

ture of my internal world and as I have

been safely negotiated through this

again and again by a skillful and expe-

rienced EFT Practitioner, I have been

able to feel more comfortable with

working on my own and with othersusing tapping and imagery to transform

dark energy and distressing experi-

ences. I still dont work directly on

memories for myself and I am cautious

about working on early memories with

many of my clients. Instead I nd that a

simple moment-by-moment witnessing

approach to tapping enables the sub-

conscious to offer up the most powerfu

and profound metaphorical imagery.

As we tap with this imagery, it changes

and transforms beautifully and we are

able to release and evolve away (as

Jade Barbee would put it) the most dif-

cult and indigestible of experiences.

Part Three Allowing a Space

I would like to share with you now a

personal tapping experience that I had

with a younger part, which occurred

6 months after the story I related to

you earlier. I was having trouble with

insomnia and so I had settled down

for an evening tap on this issue in the

hopes that it might help me to sleepbetter that night. I began with general

statements.

Even though I dont want to sleep,

even though I want to stay awake all

night, even though I want to sabotage

my progress by being so tired I cant

do anything I deeply and completely

accept myself. This round helped me

to realize that these thoughts werent

coming from the I, that a lot of me was

happy and moving on and not at all


14/40

when working with clients. Its very

easy to get caught up in our favourite

protocol or procedure but next to the

clients experience none of that mat-

ters. We dont have to do anything,

we dont have to feel as though we

need to achieve something special or

impose anything on the clients proc-

ess. If we are fully present and tapping

what theyre experiencing will changeand as it changes their cognition about

that experience will change, even their

memory of it will change, naturally,

easily and individually in a way that is

safe and right for them. The client is

the expert on themselves, and given

the opportunity, their subconscious will

lead them toward healing and release

more effectively and more safely than

anything we could possibly plan or

think of.

And so my partner and I just sat

together and tapped as she asked mevery simple questions. What do you

see now? What else do you notice?

Its blue; everything is blue, the light,

the girl, the road. Shes wearing a

nighty and shes lying on the road. It

feels like theres been a car accident.

And its very cold, its so cold. And

then I started to cry, because it was so

cold and she was so cold and I couldnt

help her. Can you touch her? my part-

ner asked. No, I replied, Im afraid, I

dont want to feel her skin, I dont want

to admit Im connected to her, or admit

responsibility for her, I dont know what

to do. I repeated each of my answers

and insights several times in order to

get to a good few tapping points for

each. Then my partner asked, Whats

happening now?

Its starting to snow, I said, Maybe

I can put a blanket over her. I can do

that; I can do that to help her. Now Im

resting my head against her chest,

were together in the snow, and the

snow is getting deeper, but its still sohopeless, now shes buried and I will

be too. Its so cold. And we continued

to sit together with this feeling of hope-

lessness, tapping continuously.

Part Four Darkness Transforms

After sitting and tapping with the dev-

astating feeling of hopelessness for a

while, allowing that to be my total focus

I suddenly became aware of a change.

There was a gure moving into the im-

reect it back with tapping. So cold, so

cold, so cold, so cold, I tapped on

each of the points. We just honour

each word or sensation as it occurs,

accepting it as complete in itself, being

mindful not to analyse or guess or leap

ahead.

My reward for doing this was then that

the face of a 3-year-old girl appeared,

her skin was blue, frozen with cold

perhaps, her lips were purple and I re-

alized with a shock that she was dead.

I could sense that she was lying down

but at the rst the image was too dark

to see anything else. So I simply took

what I was given and reected it back,

There is a girl, I see her face, her skin

is blue and frozen, shes lying down,

shes dead. At this point I began to feel

afraid. I hadnt yet come across an

internal part in therapy that was dead,

so I then paid attention to my core selfand reected those feelings of fear and

insecurity. Im afraid, I dont know what

to do, there is sweat prickling in my

armpits, I feel I cant reach her, I feel

the desperateness of that in my stom-

ach like a hollow rock, I dont know

what to do.

At this point I really didnt know what to

do, should I wait until I was in therapy

or continue tapping by myself? My

partner came into the room just then

and so I explained what was happen-

ing and asked her if she would tap with

me, and help me by repeating what I

said, so that I could hear it reected.

So we began with me describing

the image to her exactly as I saw it.

Theres a young girl, shes blue, shes

frozen, shes lying down, and her arm

is pointing upwards. Immediately she

asked, Whats the signicance of her

pointing arm? Do you want to move

her somewhere else? I was shocked

how brutal and disturbing these ques-

tions felt. They were dragging me intoa cognitive state of mind that I just

didnt want to be in, which just felt

completely wrong.

II told her that we just have to witness

what is happening, accepting all parts

of the image and the process, and

perhaps just ask some very simple

questions like, what is happening now?

I told her to ask questions that would

help her to see what Im seeing.

And this is what we must all remember

supportive of sabotage. I changed the

set up to reect that I was addressing a

part of me and I reframed the idea of

sabotage as protection. Even thought

theres a part of me that still wants to

protect me and this is the best way it

knows how, I deeply and completely

accept that part. Even though theres

a part of me thats keeping me awake

because its scared of what will happenif I succeed, I deeply and completely

accept all parts of myself.

Even though parts of me are in conict

about staying stuck and moving for-

ward I accept myself and this conict

and I wonder if its possible for those

parts to be in communication now.

After this round I felt a profound sense

of gratefulness to this part, or parts,

rather than anger and frustration. I

had an awareness that some very

important work was being carried out,that something signicant was begin

protected or I wouldnt be having a

serious symptom like insomnia. I there-

fore continued tapping while directly

addressing this part. Id like to say

thank you so much for protecting me, I

appreciate what you are doing for me, I

appreciate what you have done for me.

We have been through so much and I

wouldnt be here without you. I know

you are working so hard to protect me

and to keep me safe and Im acknowl-

edging that now. I really do love andappreciate and accept all parts of

myself and I honour them for the work

that they do. And Im here now just

to witness and listen to any part that

needs to be heard. Im here now and

I can share anything that needs to be

shared. And if you want, and if it feels

ok, I am also here to help.

At this point I just stopped talking and

continued to tap in silence, with no

expectations.

Just making the intention and con-nection to be with a part, and then

allowing a space is so important, both

for us and for our clients. An empty

space will invite the other to enter in.

And this is what happened for me. I

began to hear, or feel, these words

very faintly, So cold, so cold. This rst

offering from a part, or from someones

subconscious, is like a tiny thread that

may then lead to something more, so

we just take it as it presents itself and

feature




this great lion energy, warm, golden

and bounding around. We ended the

session here. After we were done

I yawned like I have never yawned

before and slept all the way through

the night for the rst time in 4 weeks.

What we can take from this example is

that working with the inner world and

inner selves using EFT, imagery and

metaphor is a gentle, yet powerfullytransformative technique that can bring

profound healing to all parts of our-

selves. And all that is required to work

in this way is the courage to be with

ourselves, or our clients, to accept,

acknowledge and allow their reality

as they experience it, and to use pure

and simple EFT to reect and give

back their exact words through the tap-

ping. Just as we need to be cautious

not to offer a re-frame too early on, we

should time our suggestion to bring in

resources carefully. In this examplemy partner didnt know that she could

suggest bringing in a resource but we

just kept on tapping and the resource

appeared. For people who have lived

through dark experiences their session

with us may be the rst and only time

they get to fully acknowledge the terror

and hopelessness of their emotions.

We need to allow them the space and

time to do this safely, if we rush in

to x things too soon, we will deny

them this crucial healing experience

and the opportunity for true emotionalalchemy. We need to separate from

our own beliefs and prejudices in order

to work in this way and we need to be

able to practice non-attachment to any

one particular protocol, procedure or

technique. When working with people

who have suffered complex trauma

we need to have an awareness and

understanding of just how complicated,

fragmented and disturbing their inner

world and inner selves or voices might

be. We need to be prepared to work

at a snails pace, to keep putting the

brakes on, to use protective distanc-

ing, to chop and change technique, or

to drop all technique. We need to work

responsively and responsibly.

I have been so fortunate to nd an

EFT practitioner who is fearless in

working with me through my issues

and accompanying me through this

challenging landscape. We still have

some work to do but now that my

internal system knows I am listen-

age and a lovely sensation of warmth.

I saw long black hair belonging to a

young Native American woman, who

was bringing this incredible feeling of

warmth with her. So I began describ-

ing this while continuing to tap, She

feels warm, shes warming everything,

theres more light everywhere. And

then there was a sensation of incred-

ible pain in my back. It was so intensethat I was doubled up in pain.

This was unsettling for both of us but

my partner had the courage to stick to

the simple instructions I had given her

and continued asking gentle ques-

tions about what was happening in the

image. She asked, What is happen-

ing now? What else do you notice?

I realized that the woman could help

me and replied in delight, She warms

things; shes warming my back and

its healing the pain. Then the snow

began to melt.

And then, the most extraordinary, won-

derful thing happened. A tiny, shy girl,

peeked around the woman to show

herself to me, she was radiantly beau-

tiful, almost too beautiful to look at, her

arm was resting on a big cat, a lion or

a tiger. The blue, frozen corpse had

transformed into this golden child. The

child still felt unreachable, at no point

did it feel right to reach out for her let

alone to tap on her, but somehow that

felt right. By now the whole landscapehad become dry and warm, I was

aware of sandy ground and big rocks,

there was a whole group of women

now, standing to one side. The stark,

dark grieving landscape had become a

safe, healing nurturing place.

I moved out of mindfulness momen-

tarily and started to worry about the

process, shouldnt I be thinking about

integration or something right now? I

neednt have worried because I was

continuing to tap, and just with thatthought the tiny golden girl appeared

to be moving towards me and as she

walked I observed her growing older

and older. As she moved closer I could

feel the big catness, it was a lion, I

could feel its fur, its warmth and its

strength. And when it joined me I felt

whole and knew that its energy had

integrated with mine with no need

for pressure or outward encourage-

ment. I found myself looking into the

future and saw myself there lled with

The courage to be presenting and knows that I have learnt how

to help, it has quietened right down. I

feel balanced and calm and present, I

can experience joy and love and hope

again. For me, as is the case for many

others, my mental health challenges

were a direct result of experiencing that

which could not be digested by my self.

My being was constantly seeking to

digest and to make sense and mean-ing out of what had happened to me, at

the same time as trying to protect me

from ever knowing that anything bad

had happened. The resulting chaos

became my symptoms.

What I would like to leave you with is

a renewed picture of the effectiveness

of simply being mindfully present with

yourself or another, listening deeply

and without judgement, and tapping.

We have been told never to go where

we dont belong but I would ask us

to reconsider where we do belong. Ifmental health is a continuum and all

experiences are human experiences,

then surely we can nd a relation and

relationship to every sort of experi-

ence that any human has, even if at

rst those experiences appear strange,

alien or frightening. Soteria House

was an experimental project led by Dr

Loren Mosher in the US, which aimed

to provide an alternative therapeu-

tic environment for people who had

been diagnosed with schizophrenia.

The people who helped in the house

werent trained mental health profes-

sionals but ordinary students who sim-

ply sought to provide a normalizing and

nurturing environment for the residents

Their priority was not to medicate or

analyse but to build relationship. This

project was extremely successful and

its model has since been replicated in

other countries. It provides an evidence

base that neither experts nor medi-

cation are needed to help someone

through a psychotic crisis.If simply having the courage to be

present with someone who is in acute

mental or emotional distress can pro-

foundly help them, imagine what can

be achieved if we had the courage to

tap with them as well?

To listen to the talk, visit the site below.

www.more-freedom.co.uk

Jessica Mr


16/40

therapy review


17/40

MEA

edicine META - Medicine is a revolut ionaryapproach to understanding the root

cause and meaning of illness. It works

by using the bodys biological survival

programming and scientifcally maps

physical symptoms, via the brain, to

their primal cause.According to Meta Medicine, there is not only

a mind-body connection, but actually a very

precise organ-mind-brain-social connection.

Each brain area corresponds to a type of

experience i.e. brain stem and all the organs

directed by the brain stem are usually associ-

ated with information processing associated

with survival. E.g. Where a brain relay within

a brain area corresponds to a specifc organ

and a specifc conict or trauma and an envi-ronmental-social experience.

This knowledge is absolutely revolutionary be-

cause it allows us to understand specifcally

how a disease process is /was caused, thereby

helping us to heal it.

Using the brain

to uncover the

cause of illnessAAMET Life magazines deputy

editor, Jane Unsworthnds out

more about this revolutionary

approach from META-Medicine

Master Trainer and author ofWhy am I sick, Richard Flook.


18/40

The 2-Phases of Disease

META-Medicine recognises that there

are twophases to disease and this is

broken up into 9-stages:

1. The norm

2. A conict shock occurs (UDIN)

3. The body goes into stress which can

be identied by cold extremities, inter-

rupted sleep patterns, an issue plays

round in the head. Mostly we feel okaybut there are some diseases such as

panic attacks and depression that show

up at this stage.

4. The Reversal Point is when some-

thing occurs to alleviate the original

shock and the mind/body system feels

relief

5. Most physical symptoms arrive, suchas pain, feeling tired, fever, infection and

this is when we go to see the doctor

6. The symptoms reach a height of

intensity called the Healing Crisis (HC).This can be quite scary depending on

the presenting symptoms but can range

anywhere from a headache to a full-

blown heart attack (as an example)

MEA-Medicine:An interview with Richard Flook

THE ORIGINS

Dr Ryke Geerd Hamer

developed the foundations of

META-Medicine (MM) back

in the 1970s, building on a

model started by Peneld

in the 1950-60s where a

link between the brain and

organs was established. And a

student of Hamers, Johannes

Fisslinger expanded his work

to add energ to the model

and was the rst to coined the

phrase META-Medicine.

Richard Flook, came across

Hamers work in the early

1990s while in search of his

own answers as to why his

mother died of Breast Cancer

when Richard was only 11, as

his mother had left the family

home to move hundreds of

miles away 5-yrs earlier. AndHamers work started to pro-

vide some clarity.

THE BLUEPRINT

At that stage Hamer had

mapped the brain based on

the Embryology model that

Western Medicine teaches to

all doctors but is mainly used

by those specialising in prema-

ture births.

Hamers model shows that

every organ, muscle, bone

and tissue has a specic

embryonic-layer and location

in the brain that provides the

specic information needed

when it comes to unravelling

causation.

You can imagine the implica-

tions for new-biology prac-

titioners and how it enables

lasting healing and learning for

the client.

ichard Flook has been a practitioner for 20-yrs and has been involved in the develop-

ment of META-Medicine since it started in 2004, hes one of a handful of MM Mas-

ter Trainers as well as an NLP Trainer and Master Practitioner. He has a long his-

tory of training others worldwide and he trained to Practitioner Level in EFT. He is

one of 8-board members for the IMMA (International META-Medicine Association)

which comprises doctors, PhD scientists, alternative and complementary practi-tioners. In 2009 he wrote the book Why Am I Sick and founded his company of the same

name. Richards application of META-Medicine is strongly inuenced by his NLP back-

ground. In this regard hes made a unique contribution to the META-Medicine

model by including the emotional, social and environmental aspects of disease

His work demonstrates the disease process in some of the following examples:

- Demonstrating how pain comes and goes

- How itching can be increased or decreased in a condition like eczema

- Showing how depression and mania re off in two different brain hemispheres

Its remarkable in its application and clients are astounded when you hit the mark,

which is a joy to see. In the book Richard walks through the effects that impact dis -ease on a number of levels. By explaining the behavioural changes a person goesthrough and how these affect our environment (which often changes as the result of

disease) goes a long way to illustrating a range of factors that are vital to aid lasting

recovery. Richards contribution to the MM model allows the practitioner a really in -

telligent diagnostic tool providing a strong pre-empt to any therapeutic intervention

R

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19/40

7. On the other side of the HC the symptoms start torelease and much nurturing is required

8. Of course the therapeutic interventions can be ap-

plied at any stage throughout

the model. But if a condition is the sort of chronic

condition that comes and goes, it will continue to recur

until its been identied and ousted

9. Return to normThis system allows the practitioner to ascertain

whereabouts in the disease process a client is, be-

cause each symptom can be explained as to why it is

there. And likewise a laypersoncan glean insight and learn how

to deal with their issues through

greater conscious awareness.

And the reason is because:

Every pimple, cold, epidemic,

headache, pain and serious

disease has a reason and leavesclues as to its innate cause.

Most diseases are chronic and

this model interrupts that pattern

which is how it manages to deliver

an informed outcome.

The UDINmoment

The conict shock is dened thus:

U=Unexpected D=Dramatic

I=Isolating

N=No coping strategy

As a UDIN occurs (the phrase was coined byRichard) at stage 2 (of the 2-phase model) it

starts the disease process and is where the

therapists detective skills are brought into play.

In identifying what created a clients original issue (and

there may be many associations that trigger off their

disease/issue from their history) it reduces the timeneeded to make a signicant change for the client,

and avoids being led down blind alleys.

MM makes this important distinction because as a

shock affects an organ the whole bodys energy net-

work takes a hit, and the stronger the hit the deeper

the impact. And the deeper the impact the more hor-

rible the disease.


But what happens as the body goes into stress is

that a persons whole life-landscape can change

dramatically, where they become downward spiralling

instead of upwardly so.

They may no longer want to bother with people, work

or hobbies that inspired them previously. Social and

environmental interests can take a complete u-turn

as an effect of the stress-phase. Even their sexual-

ity can change. And of course, as practitioners, weknow only too well the ramications these symptoms

inict.

Brain CT Scans

The brain/organ links have been qualied through

the application of Brain CTs (computer tomography)which is a more revealing and complex x-ray for the

purposes of MM. Although mostly unnecessary when

treating clients, they serve to back up the theory be-

hind META-Medicine and can be called into play for

serious or terminal disease.

The evidence is found where the infected organ area

leaves an energetic imprint that shows up as a ring

on the x-ray. And x-rays resonate at the same fre-

quency as emotions so what are seen on CT-scans

are trapped emotional conicts. A similar shaped ringis duplicated on the corresponding diseased body

organ scan, proving the mind/body connection. TheMM CT-scan reader is able to determine the age of a

conict, its stage of activity and the number of previ-

ous associations of time a client has triggered off the

UDIN moment making the issue chronic. As you canimagine this provides excellent information for practi-

tioners and medical staff alike. And medical doctors

are starting to take notice and some have, others are

training in META-Medicine.

META- Medicine


20/40

When I trained in EFT 3-yrsago someone had been in-

vited along to give a talk to the

group about MM and although

I listened it just seemed too

simplistic.

Then I took a Psych-K courselater that year and someone

recommended the DVD series

of META-Medicine using Matrix

Reimprinting with EFT that Ri-

chard recorded with Karl Daw-

son. A variety of EFT students

(who have gone from strength

to strength with their own EFTpractices) can be seen on that

weekends introductory course.

And again it was some timebefore I started watching them.

We all know that one!

By the time I started the META-

Medicine course in late 2010 I

was well and truly ready for the

learning. And it hasnt disap-

pointed, as Ive quickly beenable to apply it to myself as

well. As practitioners we have

to work on ourselves dont we,

and this is a great tool for rais-ing self-awareness in the body/

mind connection. I dont think

Im alone in saying I nd it much

easier to motivate myself when

working with others.

But this is my missing piece,

without being too corny, and

Richard would be the rst tosay there are bound to be other

tools out there waiting in the

wings. But for now I feel this appli-

cation is a phenomenal add-on.

One of the downsides is that theinformation is new and we need

more of it. But this will come from

practitioners qualifying and contrib-

uting their ndings from within their

specialist areas. So it provides

great opportunities for those whowant to take it deeper.

The book which is a worthy read at

www.whyamisick.comalthough

initially I found it frustrating on a

number of levels. Firstly the gram-

mar needs further editing, and the

paragraphs are squished together

without the usual extra line space,

so I nd the wording quite dense

and Id like to see the next edition

improve on these aspects.But this oversight may in part be

due to Richards contagious en-

thusiasm in his desire to get it out

there and inform - which makes him

a generous teacher. Although the

book translates itself through meta-

phorical stories, there were times

when it fell short in terms of imme-

diate access to the information as a

reference.

However, Ive started applyingthe tools with clients and working

on pain is a quick way of letting

clients recognise what is actu-

ally causing it. The exciting thingabout using Richards MM model is

demonstrating it to clients quickly

by bringing the pain back and tak-

ing it away again once you nd their

trigger.

This way both the practitioner but

more importantly the client gets tosee it right there and then before

their very eyes.

You may have caught on by nowthat Im fast becoming an una-

bashed fan of the tool. But this is

because Im experiencing it as a

practitioner and seeing the clarity it

brings. It has the ability to take youwhere you need to go to catch the

cheeky chappies that cause the

My Experience

by Jane Unsworth

therapy review

Institute of HeartMath

Following a meeting with Rollin McCa-

rthy of the HeartMath Institute, Richard

gleaned enough insight to feel hed found

the missing piece of the jigsaw and be-gan integrating some of their ndings into

his own work.

Whenever a UDIN conict shock occurs

it sends a wave of information through

the body. The master organ responsible

for this is the heart and the HeartMath

Institute have proven this. Theyve meas-

ured the wave from a persons heart as

much as 25m away from the body. This

provides powerful information for energy

workers, and many people reading this

already incorporate such learning intotheir own practice.

Richard has found that as a UDIN conict

shock occurs it affects a certain location

in the brain, and its corresponding organ,

but also ties in with how the heart imprints

the blood with each heartbeat. Its been

found that every organ transmits a wave

of information back out into the world, but

the heart sends out more information than

any other organ in the body. His further

realisation was that the energy created by

a UDIN moment changes the energy and

how we interact with other people andthe world. The social and environmental

implications are vast but clearly it also

determines a persons worldview.

Richard found this vital piece of informa-

tion was his missing link because it goes

on to explain how the waves of informa-

tion, caused by the UDIN help to attract

different people towards us like a magnet.

And by putting us into different environ-

ments (with different people) we have an

opportunity to resolve the shocks weve

gone through.

The Reticular Activating System is situ-

ated in the brains Thalamus and plays

its part in the Law of Attraction, which

ties in seamlessly with the HeartMath

and META-Medicine philosophys. The

hearts blood-print is constantly charging

and changing the human body eld with

information. EFT Tapping interrupts an

old pattern telling the heart to send out a

new one.



21/40

energetic glitch in the system.

And the potential to have clients helped even

quicker than they are right now is very ap-

pealing. This isnt to say its all singing alldancing, but it has a greater intelligence that

sets the therapist on the right path before

properly applying the interventions. And Im

nding that to be a powerful asset.

META-Healing

Richard has developed a new tool from his

experience of a myriad of techniques; such as

META-Medicine, NLP, EFT, Hypnosis, Heart-

Math, Time Line Therapy and many others.

META-Healing has enabled him to culminate

the above into a process that enables prac-

titioners to take clients step-by-step through

their own healing in a non-intrusive manner.The client is partially led through the eyes-

closed process enabling deep shifts that

ignite their own healing throughout.

During his long and evolving practice Richard

has found clients get the deepest shifts where

there is less practitioner involvement. Andthis process has combined his vast range of

tools and techniques to deliver something

which has been honed into a simple re-

integrative process that anyone can learn to

apply.

Finally

Richard Flook is a very enthusiastic trainer

and co-traveller on the META-Medicine trail, who loves sharing both his information and the joy of your discov-

ering it for the rst time.

Maybe like me youd like to begin by dipping your toe in the water and nding out some more about what I think

is a fascinating tool and its application.

And youll nd a range of information, depending on where you want to start at Richard Flooks website

www.whyamisick.com

Why am I sick Richard Flook

The DVD series META-Medicine using Matrix Reimprinting & EFT with Karl Dawson

The Diploma (an introductory series of CD recordings and PDFs)

The META-Medicine Certication Training course where you can sign up for the online training that takes

place weekly over a 16-wk period and regular practice sessions to work with other students

If youd like to learn more about any of this Id be more

than happy to have a chat with you.

Jane Unsworth

EFT, NLP and Matrix Practit ioner

www.abcsimpleas.co.uk

META- Medicine



22/40

DOSSIER

SPRING - CLEAN

Your LieContents

Are you in Cause or

Effect?Highlighting the benets ofbeing in a state of cause

Is 4-yr old you stil l

running your li fe?How early family beliefs

are still affecting you right

now.

28

30

Eradicating SHAMEA practitioners guide to

understanding shame

with loads of tools to

help you work withclients to erradicate it

from their lives

26

A Dossier filledwith techniques

and strategiesto help you toemotionally

spring clean yourlie.



23/40


24/40

DOSSIERSPRING-CLEAN YOUR LIFE

by Bennie Naud

the PractitionersguideSHAME

e use language like Shame on you

when someone does something bad

and e.g. in South Africa Ag shame is

meant as Poor you, as in pitying some-one. Seemingly a taboo subject in many

ways, I hope that this article will help shine some

light on what shame is, where it comes from, how

to identify it and most importantly, effective ways

of healing it. If youre wondering if you can heal

shame then, quoting Leo Buscaglia totally out of

context, Yes you can! Whether you work with

people that experience shame or you are working

through your own,the main purpose of this article

is to convey the message that with appropriate

awareness and skill and using energy psychology

techniques, even toxic shame can be lifted to al-

low people to freely express themselves and their

creativity.How do I know? Because Ive done it and Ive

helped clients to do it. Everything I present in this

dossier is based on my own experience except

where indicated otherwise.

Shame has played a signicant part in my life thus

far and despite having shifted metaphorical tons

of it, it is something that I remain passionate and

vigilant about as it still trips me up and shuts me

down from time to time.

Shame is something that is not talked about much in our society in the truesense o the word.

eradicating

W



25/40

SHAMEis a painful emotion causedby a strong sense of embarrass-

ment, unworthiness, or disgrace.

Not that most of us need a diction-

ary denition to remind us of theunmistakable experience of shame!

Lets start by differentiating be-

tween shame and guilt: guilt is a

feeling we get when we think that

we did something bad, whereas

shame is a feeling we get that

we simply are bad; that is, before

weve even said or done anything

we just are bad; inherently bad to

the core. Fact of life. Fait accomp-

lis. Just the way it is and nothing tobe done about it.

Have you ever wondered how it

possible that fairly intelligent peo-

ple, even those with ample proof

that they are loved and liked, eventhose who are successful and with

a true sense of passion and pur-

pose in life, even people that must

know deep down that they are in-

herently good people, can drop into

shame and shut down in an instant

- with a single thought or memory,

or a word or a look from someone

else?

How can shame, ranked by numer-

ous models as a low energy feel-

ing, stop mature and emotionally

literate people dead in their tracksand shut their creativity and self-

expression down in the blink of an

eye?

John Bradshaw writes in Healingthe Shame that Binds You I used

to drink to solve the problems

caused by drinking. The more I

drank to relieve my shame-based

loneliness and hurt the more I felt

ashamed. Shame begets shameI came to see that shame is one of

the major destructive forces in hu-

man life.

When I rst read this book in

2007 it touched me deeply; it felt

that nally someone understoodmy internal world and life experi-

ence - through the lens of shame.

He articulated with one hundredpercent accuracy the difculties inmy day-to-day activities that others

seemed to perform with ease and

comfort like walking into a room

full of people, going on a date or

even asking a friend for a favour(all of which could be torture for

shame based people.)

Bradshaw differentiates between

healthy and toxic shame and sug-

gests that healthy shame is there tokeeps us humble, to remind us thatwere human and that we some-

times need help and to keep us

open to learning (as opposed to ar-

rogantly thinking that we should beable to do everything by ourselves

and that we know it all).

He postulates that unless healthy

shame gets processed or released

it turns to toxic shame which be-

comes a self-perpetuating down-

wards shame spiral; see diagram

on next page.

Drawing from my own experi-

ence I agree with Bradshaw that

unhealthy thinking is the biggest

causes of shame-bound spirals.

Unhealthy thinking causes shame,which causes more unhealthy

thinking which causes more

shame, and so on. It is therefore

also in the area of changing our

thoughts that we nd the mosteffective solutions to heal shame;

more about that later.

It seems to me that Bradshaw

suggests that the journey to heal

shame is by default a painful and

long one, and if my interpretation

is correct in this regard I speculate

that Emotional Freedom Tech-

niques would change his view.

I think this book is essential read-

ing for all practitioners for two

reasons:

1. if you are someone who experi-

ences severe shame I believe this

book will provide valuable context

for your life experience and a

much deeper understanding of the

shame dynamic; I believe that we

absolutely have to continue clear-

ing our own issues when we work

with clients.

2. it will help you get inside the

heads and worlds of those whodo and who may come to you for

help and enable you to meet them

where they are, in their model of

the world.

WHY IS SHAME A PROBLEM?The reason shame is a problem is

because it kills; it kills relationships

spontaneity, creativity and it kills

through suicides, depression and

addictions.

Its a problem because unless the

cycle is broken it gets passed on

from generation to generation.

Its a problem because its all-per-

vasive yet often sublimely subtle.

Its a problem because unless you

deal with it, it will deal with you.

WHAT IS SHAME?erradicating shame



26/40

WHERE DOES SHAME

ORIGINATE FROM?I believe that toxic shame as

Bradshaw denes it results from(well-intended or not well intended)

authority gures like parents,

teachers, older siblings or thechurch that do not allow the child

to express and reframe shaming

experiences. If a child is allowedto express shame (because they

believe that the way they perceive,

think, feel, imagine or desire iswrong) and they are helped to re-

frame the experience (e.g. a parent

apologising for losing their temper

and shouting at them or a teacher

explaining that the child had misun-

derstood them and that they didnot mean to suggest that the way

the child thought was wrong) then

the child has the opportunity to

learn from the event and release

the shame, and life goes on.

If however, during and after

shameful experiences children are

not assured and allowed to release

and reframe the situation then they

are likely to internalise those feel-

ings where it often turns into toxicshame and severe self-limiting

beliefs of the Im bad variety.

[Side note: I do not subscribe to

theories that suggest we can shame

someone or make someone angry,

or sad; I nd it more empowering to

believe that people simply experience

certain emotions when others act in

a certain way. When Person A does

something, Person B may experience

the event as funny, Person C may feelsevere shame and Person D may feel

sad; it does seem accurate to me to

suggest then that Person A made the

other parties laugh, feel ashamed or

sad respectively. I choose therefore

to stay clear from blaming and victim

language and in this case would argue

that Person B interpreted the event

as funny, Person C as shaming and

person D as sad.]

Bradshaw lists seven dysfunctional

family rules and a host of other

causes of shame with numerous

practical, real life examples. The

one that stands for to me is one he

labels the denial of ve freedoms:suggesting that the way children

perceive, think, feel, desire or im-

agine is wrong will almost certainly

lead to them taking on shame; if

this is perpetuated over time it islikely to turn into toxic shame andthey will almost inevitably start

believing that they are bad.

Children who are abandoned or

abused usually start believing

that they somehow caused and/

or deserved the abuse and that

they do not deserve anything other

than the abuse or abandonment;

the painful memories also often

becomes their only connection withtheir abuser and unconsciously

they may not want to let it go

because it would be disloyal to the

abuser and/or theyd rather have

some connection than no connec-

tion with the perpetrator.

Unless they resolve this dynamic

they will very likely carry this intoadulthood and continue to re-enact

the same program.

Cliff Barry, the founder of Shadow-

Work (www.shadowwork.com)says that we are hotwired to love

our parents; we really have no

choice! So the only way we can

make sense of our own abuse orneglect as children is by justifying

our parents actions in some way

and blaming ourselves.

HOW TO IDENTIFY SHAMEClients dont usually come to us

saying Id like to work on shame.

Instead they ask us to help themwith the symptoms of shame with-

out necessarily attributing those

symptoms to shame as the cause.These symptoms could literally

be anything, ranging from being

depressed, being unable to get

ahead in their careers or nail biting.

Lets take a look at some common

road signs (or ags) that may pointtowards shame; remember that

these presenting issues may also

be caused by something other than

shame (although Im beginning

to think that the vast majority ofpresenting problems can be boiled

down to shame, preventing self-

acceptance).

DOSSIERSPRING-CLEAN YOUR LIFE




Bradshaw talks about striving forpower and control and quotes

Terry Kellogg as saying that he

had always lived on-guard so that

hed not be caught off guard; pow-

er hungry clients or clients who

are constantly fending off threats,

rejections and failures, who have

strong tendencies to want to con-

trol (including your sessions with

them!) are often driven by shame.Control equates to power and

they need power to compensate

for their lack of self-worth and to

make sure that no-one nds out

about their badness.

Bradshaw also states that rage isprobably the most naturally oc-

curring cover-up for shame and it

protects in two ways

1. It keeps others (the world) away

aamet life magazine - spring 2011

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