A VERY BRIEF INSIGHT INTO TOURETTES,

THE ORIGIN, LIVING WITH IT, UNDERSTANDING ITS ROOT

AND THE CHALLENGE OF ADAPTING TO WORK WITH IT.

TAKING THE TOR OUT OFTOURETTES

UBERTEACH  WWW.UBER-TEACH.COM

UBERTEACH  WWW.UBER-TEACH.COM

From a very early age I found I had A LOT of energy. I would literally throw myself into any pursuit I could find, from being in a school play, to entering a running race, cycling, climbing trees, playing football – anything that would capture my attention and keep me from feeling ‘twitchy’.

I was no different to any of the other kids, but it did seem, even by my own estimations, that I had something a little bit extra, that would not let me slow down.

As I developed, I began noticing signs, that I could be extremely calm when I was by myself, but around others I became ‘reactive’. It was as though I had my own supply of energy, but I had an ability to feed off the energy of others too.

The first ‘habit’, or ‘Tor’ette I developed, was ‘excessively opening and closing my mouth’ and ‘blinking’.

First Photo

No indications of

anything

‘different’.

Energetic pursuits

Anything that allowed an energy release.

Throughout the next few years nothing much changed, though I had developed a habit of:

o Excessively opening and closing my moutho Excessive noddingo Excessive blinkingo Some excessive and impromptu vocal sounds

Looking back, I see now that the key to understanding where I was at was in the word ‘excess’. I was a ‘charged’, ‘electric’, ‘passionate’, ‘zestful’, ‘alive’ human being, who was becoming so interested in everything around him he didn’t know what he wanted to do.

A problem?

Not unless I allowed it to become one.

I journeyed through infants school into juniors, through what is now Key Stage 1 and 2 and then onto comprehensive, Key Stage 3 and 4 with no signs that the:

o Tickso Twitcheso Eekso Gruntso Blinkso Nodso Shakes

were going to stop. One afternoon it became too much for my Mother and she took me to the doctor. I will show you visually how this scene unfolded.

Mother: “My Son has developed noises and twitches.”

Doctor looks at me.

Mother: “Show him what you do.”

In my head I tell myself to remain still and calm.

Doctor looks at me some more.

Mother (A bit irritated): “Show him.”

In my head I tell myself to remain still and calm.

Doctor: “Does he do anything? What does he do?”

We leave the doctor’s surgery without anything further said.

IT STARTS IN MY SPINE AND TRAVELS

I was starting developing habits that were:

o My releaseo Making me feel comfortableo Making me feel individualo Mine

In a classroom at secondary school the twitches and the sounds brought attention. This was okay for those who regarded it as a joke and I laughed along with it, but inside I knew I wasn’t doing it to attract attention (even though one or two girls found it to be cute).

What I was experiencing, in a very real way, was one of my first sensations of being ‘unable’, or ‘less able’ than others, to control my ‘urges’, ‘habits’, ‘sensations’, ‘releases’. Describing this to one of my friends I explained how:

“It starts in my spine and travels up through the back of my neck.”

Control! Or be controlled. Having lived with my ‘condition’ since an early age, my differences became accepted, both by those around me as well as myself. I felt I had an ability to control when I really wanted to, but on other occasions I just let loose and the energy seemed to take control of me. I spent a lot of time and thought-energy trying to figure out if it was me who was truly in control or some other force that had power to overrule. This ‘polar’ opinion of thoughts led to a range of physical and mental issues in later life, though this was at a junction where I made a decision that I wouldn’t let it control me.

1) My energy is mine not anyone else’s2) I have an ability to know what is

right for me3) If I become interested in myself

there is a lot to learn4) There is a lot I can learn from

observing and communicating with others

5) The energy I allow in to my body, such as nutrients from foods and liquids, can affect the reactions that take place and project outside

6) Excess = E (in) E (exceeding) E (out)

7) As a human being I have a right to experience a sense of peace and calm

8) If I make real effort I can achieve

‘E’ IS FOR … energy, experience, effort

At the age of 15, during an English class in school one day, a teacher called Steve Grant commented on a poem I had written. He said it showed signs of “creativity” and told me I had “a real talent”. Perhaps without realising it, he provided me with my first sense of realising there were pursuits I could become involved in outside of sport and running myself into the ground, where I could experience a sense of still and detachment from Tourettes.

Reading and writing became what I regard as a healthy obsession, to a point where I discovered through practice that I could last an hour or more with only minor ticks and twitches and sounds.

I combined this, from leaving school and entering employment, with observing my own behaviour at different parts of the day. I found:

o On a morning I am very calm and standing outside amongst nature or taking a walk or a run or a bike ride keeps me balancedo After breakfast my energy increases considerably and I have to take part in some pursuit or leave the houseo If I eat foods or drink liquids that do not agree with me I feel as though my energy could explode through the roof

ACHIEVING BALANCEI was 17 now and had already worked for six months as a hairdresser. Through my Father’s connections I secured a job for a newspaper and worked as a Journalist for the next five years. Outside of this I was working in a nightclub, running a baseball team and continuing with my writing. I became a published poet. In all, I was starting to really figure out that the excess of energy contained in me could be put to greater use, though this in itself had problems attached, as I was not observing the true meaning of what it was to be seeking balance.

My energy

Input

Output

WHAT IS NORMAL?

Normal a. conforming to what is standard or usual; free from mental or emotional disorders.

Through my late teenage years and entering my 20’s I started to question life. This led to my becoming interested in the reality picture surrounding me, though it also led to my comparing myself to others. I became quite self-obsessed in the process, not so much in a vanity sense, but to a point where I became inwardly focussed, self-conscious and habitually more reserved, opting against what I felt to be ‘following’ normal patterns. I was seeking something different, something that could contain my energy and have me feeling ‘settled’.

Over the period of a few years, at a point arrived at where I really felt as though I was getting to grips with ‘my’ Tourettes, it seemed that the energy that was formerly released through my twitches and sounds and minor convulsions was turning inward. This proved to be an even greater challenge to live with and understand and often the frustration of being unable to fetch to life what I could visualise as being real led to private bouts of depression and spasms causing both physical and mental irritations.

TOURETTES AND NUTRITION

GOOD FOR MY BALANCE

Rye bread, Rice crackers

Rice milk

Gluten/Wheat free pasta

Broccoli

Leaf salads:

Spinach, Rocket, Eggs, Beetroot

White meats

Fish

Water, some pure juices

Tofu, Tempeh, Beans

Soups, Broths, Dinners

Caffeine-free teas

Multi-vitamins

NOT GOOD FOR MY BALANCE

Wheat bread

Cow milk

Pasta with Wheat/Gluten

Sugar

Caffeine

Starchy foods

Alcohol

Energy drinks

HOW DO YOU CHOOSE TO REACT?

In my mid-twenties to thirties I took a good look at what I was allowing into my body, versus the reactions that were coming out. I don’t necessarily link this directly to Tourettes, as I feel we can all observe balance to a greater extent throughout our lives. However, what I did notice was:

o My energy is through the sky after the slightest intake of sugarso I experience an energy slump after certain glucose or wheat-based products including energy drinks, bread, biscuits and crisps

A visit to a Nutritionist revealed that I was deficient in certain vitamins and she advised I supplement with a range of vitamins.

A visit to an Iridologist revealed that my body had an acid-alkali imbalance.

In my early 30’s, following a period of further ‘insular’ behaviour, I learned the purpose of serotonin and dopamine in the brain, as my ‘condition’ almost led to quite severe consequences.

NUMBER ONE

1

START WITH YOURSELF

Taking an interest in who you are, not laying down and falling asleep and enjoying the process of being who you are whilst working towards the individual you want to become is paramount to your realisation of your targets in life.

As part of this presentation, rather than continue to talk at you, I would like to now ask if you will involve yourself in your own exploration of self.

On the table, somewhere in the room, are sheets of paper, ranging in sizes from A5, to A4, to A3.

Whatever size of canvas you choose, this is yours to develop your own picture, or perhaps a Timeline, based on where you’ve been, or journeyed from, where this has led, to where you are currently at and where you are going, in a motion you might describe as forward.

UNIVERSAL HARMONYI am 40 years of age. I awoke at 6.30am this morning and compiled this presentation, finishing at 10:48am. If left to myself and with a strict diet and no upset in my life I am quite capable of controlling my Tourettes, achieving whatever I set out to and remaining balanced. However, in a reality picture such as ours, life isn’t so straightforward and I delve into the consumption of foods and liquids that irritate my system, pursue somewhat impossible goals at times as a means of challenging myself and have the tendency to attract emotional turmoil at multi-levels, due to my own inability to control my actions. At these junctions, the Tourette-symtoms return.What I have observed and learned thus far on my journey, is that energy is all there is. It is contained in every single ‘thing’ that we regard as being apparent.Upon realisation of this fact, I now seek to harmonise with and travel with the flow, rather than continuously fight and go against, what I regard as the ‘natural’ or Universal spirit of all there is. I am a single force and you are the same. What I want to transfer to you now is listed on the final slide of this presentation and if Tourettes is part of your life, you could start on your blank canvas by asking yourself this type of question.

YOUR JOURNEY

LIFE IS YOUR JOURNEY SO ENJOY IT!

Creativity, fitness, travel, meditation, a healthy diet and

developing an interest in life and people in general became

my way of achieving a balance and an escape from Tourettes.

Question: What steps will you take or

what measures will you put in place to

achieve harmony both within you and

in the world outside of you?

First make the ‘me’

happy, then focus on

the ‘we’.

From the poem: Me.

We.

Muhammad Ali

The world is ruled by

letting things take

their course. It cannot

be rule by interfering.

Tao Te Ching XLVIII

“You own your future

nobody else.”

Tor Alexander Bruce