a parents’ guide

A Parents’ Guide

Rushmoor Royals SC6th November 2011

A Parents’ Guide Rushmoor Royals

6th November 2011

Parents are important too

Whatever the level of participation parents play an important role in a child’s development.

It is natural for parents to be interested in their child’s progress and to want to help out as much as possible.

a 3 way relationship

Amateur Swimming Association - Copy 2


Finding the balance between parenting and coaching!

Debbie Phelps, mother of Michael, the world record holder in the 200m butterfly, relocated the whole family in order for Michael to train closer to his club. When asked about Michael's world record time she said..."I'm not sure - 1:50 something?" (Actually, 1:54:58)

Be supportive and knowledgeablebut not overpowering


PRESSURES ON THE SWIMMERTraining Competition Lifestyle

• Expectations of the coach • Expectations of others in their squad• Physical appearance• Dealing with physical fatigue • Friendship Groups• Transitions into senior age groups

• Expectations of British Swimming• Self expectations • Achieving qualifying times• Performance compared to others in their age group• The call room • Swim off's • Media

• Exams and school work • Injury• Illness• Relationships • Finances • Balance between swimming and life outside of swimming • Social life (friendship groups)

Try not to let your own expectations and behaviours become a further pressure for your child to cope with


Providing Support

• Verbal support

• Listening support

• Visual support (looking for signs of burnout, changes in appearance)

• Financial support

• Being there for them during setbacks

• Relocation

• Time commitment

• Travel (often at 'unearthly' hours!)


Providing Support

Some of the signs...• Emotional fatigue (increased moodiness,

irritability) • Physical fatigue (constant tiredness) • Increased susceptibility to illness &

injury (constant colds, sore throats)• Reduced accomplishments (performance

progress halted) • Reduced self confidence • Depersonalisation (noticeable disinterest

in swimming)• Disturbed sleep patterns

Recognising when your child is showing signs of being overstretched (the early stages of burnout)


Providing Support

• Organised (plan things in advance)

• Rest & recovery (time spent sleeping is as important as time spent training)

• Strategies to deal with stress (allowing some 'me' time)

• Time dedicated to things outside of swimming

• Manage all aspects of your life (e.g. education, work, friends, family, relationships, finance)

Making sure your child has a Balanced Lifestyle

Remember the importance of parental example

If YOU cannot cope with the ups and downs of your children’s swimming life – how can you expect THEM to?

Look to the positive all the time. You learn from mistakes!!


Goals In Swimming

• It is important for your child to know they can still be successful even without the winning. A better dive? Breathing technique improved? Stroke count ? Better technique?

• Setting a new P.B, gaining a qualifying time and achieving good times for a particular stage in a cycle, are all great swimming achievements • Parents often focus primarily

on the outcome of competitions (i.e. winning and losing)Coaches focus on swimming performance and progress over the long term.


Goal Setting Problems with only focusing on the outcome

• A swimmer has no control over the outcome of a race

• Focusing on the outcome can lead to increased anxiety (This is fine if you know how to deal with it!)

• An obsession with winning can also create a fear of failure, which can lead to continual underperformance

• Even when your child has one of their best races, one of the other seven swimmers in the pool may have gone faster!


Parents Do's and Don'tsThe Don'ts

1. Do not expect your child to consistently perform well

- Physiological changes, environmental factors, and emotional pressures will cause major peaks and troughs in their

performance

2. Do not let your goals and ambitions override theirs.

- Remember they are the swimmer


The Don'ts (cont..)

3. Do not criticise or undermine the coach in the presence of your child.

- The bond between a swimmer and their coach is central to success.

4. Do not focus all of your attention on competition outcomes (something no one can control).

- Focus on supporting your child through their development process.


The Don'ts (cont..)5. Do not compare your child's performances or current times with others in their club or age group.

- Physiological development and adaptation to training will occur at a different rate for each swimmer

- Remember not to give your child a hard time if they are the only one in their club to come away without a medal

6. Do not (or be careful!) use too many extrinsic rewards to motivate your child (i.e. offering prize money!)

- It is important that your child's motivation to swim is intrinsic if they are to remain focused and battle through the hard times (i.e. success = a swimmer that 'wants' to train and compete)


The Don'ts (cont..)7. Do not compare your child’s success as a junior with their current

positioning as a senior – Be prepared for your child to reach a point when their swimming

plateaus (for months to even years) – Physically they will come through this phase - parents need to make

sure they also come through it mentally (i.e. continual support as opposed to pressure)


The Do's

1. Do be supportive of your child no matter what happens in or out of the pool.

- Remember they will have slumps and unexpected disappointments - You need to be there to help lift them back up. 2. Do let the coach do the coaching.

- It's the coaches job to give a child constructive criticism on their swimming.

- A swimmer will only get confused and start to under-perform if their parents also take on this role.

- Have faith in the coaches long term goals for your child (they can see the bigger picture!)


The Do's (cont..)3. Do remain positive around your child after training and during competitions

- Remember your child will detect your nervousness at competitions. Learn to act positive!!

4. Do encourage them to follow nutritional advice and practise their mental skills.

- Preparation of the body and mind goes hand in hand


The Do's (cont...)

5. Do allow your child to settle into the club (don't be too quick to change clubs!)

- Remember the water is not necessarily bluer in another team's pool!

- It can often take swimmers a long time to adapt to a new clubs training programme

6. Do let your child have goals outside of swimming.

- A balanced lifestyle can often help them maintain a more positive perspective in the pool.


The Do's (cont...)7. Do let them stick to their pre-competition routines

– Every swimmer will have their own individual way of preparing for a race

– Prior to races....simply leave them be!– No matter how strange their pre-competition routines may seem, if it

works for them that's all that matters

8. Do be patient

– Training cycles can cause swim times to plateau and even become slower before they improve

– Remember that in the short term, ‘training harder’ does not always = ‘getting faster’


The Do's (cont...)

9. Do become an active member of the clubs committee if you enjoy having greater involvement

- However, make sure your role as committee member does not influence your role as a parent

- Leave any discussed issues in the meeting – your child will have more then enough to think about!

- Also, remember clubs will often have a feeder system – if the top swimmers are receiving the top support, the rest of the squad are next in line!


The Do's (cont...)

10. Do celebrate your child's swimming success.

No matter how old they are, they should always know how proud you are.


Summary

• Remember the pressures involved in swimming and how you can help your child to deal with them

• Keep a look out for the early signs of overtraining

• Help your child to enjoy their swimming and keep it in perspective

• Monitor and be supportive of their process goals

• Enjoy being a part of your child's journey towards success


ASA Statement

Success is a journey not a destination. The

doing is often more important than the

outcome

a parents’ guide

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