MWF November 2009 1

November 2009

Become the Speakerand Leader You Want to Be!

Manila Women’s ForumA Network of Women Professionals

By Clang M. Garcia

(Cont. on p.3)

How do you take theterror out whendelivering aspeech? LastOctober 12, MWFhosted a session ondeveloping

effective communication and leader-ship skills lead by an engagingspeaker, Gina Mapua, Vice Presidentfor Education of the ExecutiveToastmasters Club.

Being a seasoned speaker, Gina putthe audience at ease the moment shebegan. She shared a few general tips,including don’t apologize, don’t inventor lie, and don’t ramble. Then she gaveus rich inputs on how handle stagefright, impromptu speaking, questionand answer sessions, and listening.

Taking the TerrorOut of Public Speaking

Stage fright is common to allspeakers who are concerned abouttheir performance. Since most of ourfears are self-generated, we canovercome them through the followingtechniques:

Calm BreathingHave you experienced listening to a

speaker who is vibrating visibly andwith a voice cracking out of fear? Takethe tension out by breathing properlyas it allows you to stabilize your

emotions and collect your thoughtsproperly. Moreover, calm breathingimproves the quality of your voice.You may also release your pent upenergy by walking briskly onto thestage, or doing isometric exercises inyour seat (unnoticed of course!).

Mental RehearsalImagine yourself successfully

delivering the speech and hear thatthunderous applause. Visualizationmakes it all come true. Also rememberthat the audience is with you—theywant you to succeed!

Left to right: Clang, Gina, Randy

November MWF Meeting n When: Monday, November 16, 2009, 6:30 p.m. Where: Julia Cummins home, 76 RealStreet, Urdaneta Village, Makati City. What: Sarah Novak will give a presentation titled “Demystifying Social Media: It’sNot Just for 14-year-old Girls Anymore!” Come learn how to integrate Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn and Blogs into yourlife without letting them TAKE OVER your life. Sarah will walk you through the basics of each platform and provide tipsregarding time management and proper online etiquette. Bring: Something to share for the potluck dinner. DecemberMeeting: Monday, December 7, 2009.

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Public speaking.According to The Book of Lists,

it is the number onefear of most people.

It is dreaded morethan death itself,or even disease.

Public speaking,glossophobia,selective mutism,active listening

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* From various sources, for informationpurposes only. Readers are advised toexercise due diligence in getting the latest,complete and most accurate data.

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GlossophobiaGlossophobia or speech anxiety is

the fear of public speaking. The wordcomes from the Greek term glo-ssa,meaning tongue, and phobos, meaningfear or dread. One symptom ofGlossophobia may be Stage Fright.

Symptoms include: (a) intenseanxiety prior to, or simply at thethought of having to verbally commu-nicate with any group; (b) avoidanceof events which focus the group’sattention on individuals in attendance;(c) physical distress, nausea, orfeelings of panic in such circum-stances. They can be classified asphysical, verbal, and non-verbal.

Physical symptoms result from theAutonomic Nervous System respond-ing to the situation with a “fight orflight” reaction. These symptomsinclude acute hearing, increased heartrate, increased blood pressure, dilatedpupils, increased perspiration,increased oxygen intake, stiffening ofneck or upper back muscles, and drymouth.

Verbal symptoms include a tensevoice, a quivering voice, and repetitionof “Umms” and “Ahhs” which tend tocomfort anxious speakers.

Many people report stress-inducedspeech disorders which are onlypresent during public speech. In fact,some glossophobics are able to danceor perform in public as long as they donot have to speak. They can actuallyspeak as well, as long as they cannotsee the audience (on radio, forexample) or they feel that they are acharacter or stage persona rather thanpresenting as themselves (such as in astage play).

Selective MutismThis might be a totally different case

altogether, but there is also such athing as Selective Mutism: a severechildhood anxiety disorder in which aperson who is normally capable ofspeech is unable to speak in givensituations, or to specific people.

According to a 2001 study, theincidence is 7 in 1000. The Diagnosticand Statistical Manual of MentalDisorders (DSM), 3rd edition, specifiesthat the condition is not related toSocial Phobia.

In Australia where Selective Mutismis classified as a disability, diagnosedadults who are independent from aspouse or parent qualify for entitle-ment welfare.

Impromptu, manuscript,and extemporaneous

In public speaking, there are threegeneral types: impromptu, extempora-neous, and manuscript.

In an impromptu speech, you arebasically required to think and speakon the spot, with little or no time toprepare. For example, you are anairline employee and you have toexplain to a group of exhaustedpassengers standing in line that thereis an additional flight delay.

In an extemporaneous speech, youhave time to first jot down your ideaswhich you use to trigger what youactually say. Compared to using exactwords written beforehand, this typeallows you to build a better connec-tion with your listeners.

In a manuscript speech, what youhave to say is completely written outbeforehand and you simply deliverthe lines word for word. This type isbest when every word is critical. Forexample, you are a bank representa-tive and you are presenting theofficial position of your companyregarding an unexpected decrease ininterest rates for savings accounts.

Selective Mutism insongs, sitcoms and books

In the 2001 song “She’s Given UpTalking” by Paul McCartney from thealbum Driving Rain, the situationconforms almost perfectly to a clinicaldescription of Selective Mutism inchildhood. It describes a young girlwho is mute at school yet normallytalkative at home (“When she comeshome it’s a yap yap yap/ words start toflow like water from a tap”).

In the television sitcom The BigBang Theory, the character of RajeshKoothrappali suffers from selectivemutism: he is unable to talk to womenwho are not family members. Drinkingalcohol, however, suppresses hisanxiety, enabling him to speak. Placeboeffect or not, it works for him. In oneepisode, he spoke to the actressSummer Glau while drinking beer.Unknown to him, the beer was non-alcoholic.

In the book The Secret Voice ofGina Zhang by Dori Jones Yang, thetitle character has selective mutismcomplicated by bilingual issues. Whenshe begins school in America, shefinds that her throat closes up whenshe attempts to speak in English or hernative language, Mandarin.

Active Listening and ALOS-globalAll too often, people are not

listening attentively to one anotherwhen communicating. They are eitherdistracted, thinking about other things,or preparing what they are going tosay next. The latter case is particularlytrue in disagreements or conflictsituations.

Active listening is a structured wayof listening and responding to others.It focuses attention on the speakerwhile suspending judgment and one’sown frame of reference.

If you want to know how good youare in active listening, the ActiveListening Observation Scale (ALOS-global) might be a handy tool. This 7-item instrument has “acceptable inter-and intra-observer agreement.”

The scaled score was positivelyrelated to verbal attention measured byRIAS (Reynolds Intellectual Assess-ment Scales), to patients’ perception ofgeneral practioners’ (GPs) affectiveperformance, patients’ self-reportedpre-visit anxiety level, and genderdifferences. Interestingly (but notsurprisingly), female GPs receivedhigher active listening scores.

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Preparation and ExperiencePreparing well for your speech

makes a huge difference. It is notenough to write the speech and makethe visuals. Practice delivering yourpresentation and edit as needed to fitthe time requirements. Public speakingcomes with practice and experience. AtToastmasters Club, there are regular,twice monthly sessions where you aretaught how to prepare and deliver aspeech and receive an honest evalua-tion.

Impromptu Speaking:The Q&A Session

How do you express an idea withoutpreparation? Impromptu speaking doesnot have to be a public speakingengagement, it can be as simple asbeing asked about your opinions by aboss or being called to give a toast atyour friend’s wedding. Gina went intomore detail on a specific type ofimpromptu speaking that manyspeakers are faced with: the questionand answer session that follows thepresentation.

ListenTake time to listen attentively to the

question. Acknowledge the need tolisten and focus your eyes on theperson talking. Lean forward occasion-ally and respond with appropriatefacial expressions.

PauseMake the effort to pause and you

will look intelligent. It will appear thatyou are taking the time to gather yourthoughts and prepare the rightresponse (and gives you the time toactually do this!).

Repeat the QuestionRephrase the question to confirm

that you understood it correctly. Thisalso gives you a little more time tothink about your answer, and also anopportunity to diffuse or deflect anattacking type of question.

AnswerKeep your answer short and

remember to end properly. Summarizeyour points if needed, and try to havethe last word. If asked for your

(Become ... Cont. from page 1) opinion, first state what it is, then givethe reason why you feel that way, givean example, and then restate youropinion.

Gina stressed the need to maintaincontrol of the situation; one way to dothis is to only answer the questionsyou want to answer. If there is anoverly talkative questioner who asksyou three questions, you may chooseto answer only one, and make it theone you prefer to answer. You are atthe podium, not the questioner. Don’task, “Did I answer your question?”That just opens up the possibility ofgetting sidetracked and losing control.

ListeningGina gave several useful tips on

ways to improve our listening skills.Mentally, put yourself into listeningmode. Lean forward, focus on thespeaker. Ignore distractions as muchas possible. In your mind, put thespeakers main points into an outline,or framework, so that at the end of thetalk you can summarize the main pointsto someone who wasn’t there. You will

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NCAThe National Communication

Association (NCA) is the oldestscholarly speech association in theUnited States. It exists to assistprofessional communicators—bothmarketplace and academic. There is anannual convention held with manypresentations addressing the concernscentral to effective public speaking.

NFA and AFAThe National Forensics Association

(NFA) and the American ForensicsAssociation (AFA) are two othernational organizations within theUnited States which sponsor competi-tive public speaking.

Events within the NFA and AFA fallin to four categories: Public Address,Limited Preparation, InterpretiveSpeaking, and Debate.

The Public Address events include

A Public Speaking PostureRight: Elizabeth Gurley Flynn in a public speaking posture: standing, facing front.In December, 1909, 19 year old organizer Elizabeth Gurley Flynn arrived in Spokane,Washington, to join the fight for social justice. She was a founding member of theAmerican Civil Liberties Union and a woman of extraordinary speaking skills. TheSpokesman-Review described her as a “frail, slender girl, pretty and graceful, witha resonant voice and a fiery eloquence that attracted huge crowds.”

Informative Speaking, PersuasiveSpeaking, Rhetorical Criticism, andAfter Dinner Speaking.

The Limited Preparation eventsinclude Impromptu Speaking andExtemporaneous Speaking.

The Interpretive events includePoetry, Prose, Dramatic Interpreta-tion, Humorous Interpretation andDuo Interpretation (in which adramatic piece is presented by twospeakers working together).

The Debate events includeLincoln-Douglas Debate, PolicyDebate, and Crossfire Debate.

Toastmasters InternationalToastmasters International (TI)

is a nonprofit educational organi-zation that operates clubs world-wide for helping members improvetheir communication, publicspeaking and leadership skills.

4 MWF November 2009

MWF Newsletterc/o Lisa Lumbao26-B Casa Real TownhouseReal St., Urdaneta VillageMakati City 1225

Manila Women’s Forum

Manila Women’s Forum (MWF) is across-cultural network for women. It

provides opportunities to build friend-

ships, talk to women of various cultures,

and share information about resources.

Our meetings are intended to provide

intellectual stimulation and lead topersonal and professional development.

All women are welcome to join.

The current officers are: Amy

Alexander, Message Board. Julia Holz,

Treasurer, Membership and Programs.

Cecilia Leung, Programs. LisaLumbao, Chair. Junie Navarro,

Message Board. Lisa Stuart, Message

Board Moderator. Beaulah P. Taguiwalo,

Newsletter, Website. Shari Virjee,

Programs, Message Board.

Cost of membership is P300 per year.Members receive a copy of the current

mailing list in addition to the newsletter,

which is also sent to non-members. A

contribution is collected at each monthly

meeting: P20 for members, and P40 for

non-members. For more information aboutMWF, please contact Lisa Lumbao at Tel.

813-0168, or at lumbao@mozcom.com.

Visit our website – a work in progresswww.geocities.com/manilawomensforum

(Become ... Cont. from page 2)remember it better if you do this. Try toavoid making hasty judgments aboutthe speaker or topic, be patient. Tameyour emotions. Since your mind worksmuch faster than the speaker can talk,you need to control your mind fromwandering off to other thoughts.When you catch yourself daydream-ing, bring your focus back to thespeaker and work on that outline of themain points.

Winning SpeechesAfter her inspirational talk, Gina

showed an audiovisual presentation ofthe International Speaking Contest of

Toastmasters International. Twowinning speeches were shown, and itwas clear why they won – both werevery moving and entertaining. Ginaremarked that over the years, thespeeches have become more like shorttheater sketches, with the speakersmoving around the stage like actors.

For those who are interested indeveloping the priceless skill ofeffective communication, the ExecutiveToastmasters Club holds a meetingevery 1st and 3rd Thursday of themonth at Le Souffle Rockwell Club, 7:00p.m. Many other clubs meet in otherparts of the city.

For more details, please visit the

website of Toastmasters Internationalat www.toastmasters.org or contactJulia Holz, Vice President for Member-ship, at juliaholz2002@yahoo.com.

Left to right: Martha, Clang, Gina

u u u

On public speaking:“Most people at a funeral would

rather be in the coffin than deliveringthe eulogy.” (Jerry Seinfeld)