A MESSAGE FROM OUR FOUNDER... Dear Chera Fellowship, I come to you at the beginning of 2002 with a deep awareness of God's faithfulness to our nation and to each of His children. These have been very trying days and the Lord has proved Himself again to be a refuge in a time of storm. Each day brings new challenges, joys and its share of sorrows to so many lives. As we look forward to a new year I trust that you may be abundantly aware of His precious, comforting presence and clear direction for your life available through the truths in His Word and ministry of the Holy Spirit. I was pleased with the theme chosen by Miriam and Marcia for this issue. It is a wonderful privilege to be used of God in whatever situation or calling you might find yourself. It always amazes me to see the many opportunities that the Lord affords us to serve Him and others. All we have to do is be sensitive to the fact that the Lord wants to use us. In the Hamptons where we live in Florida, though we are semi-retired, God has given us some exciting opportunities to serve Him. Since this is a Senior's community, there are many widows that live here. I invited a number of them to my home for lunch and this is just the start of a number of get-togethers that I plan. We intend to invite others and get together after the first of the year. There are so many lonely people and we need to reach out to them to show we care and to demonstrate the love of Christ. Why not set a goal this year to reach out to others through hospitality, prayer, sending a card or in any other way that shows your concern and thus inspire the joy of the Lord in your heart.

In Christian love,

Carol Gregory

A MESSAGE FROM OUR EDITOR... I just returned from the funeral of a friend of mine. She lived as a widow for 15 years, having lost her husband in 1986. As I sat in the service, I thought of you Chera readers who, like her, were once in the ministry with your spouse. Then God took your spouse, and things changed. You desired in some way to continue to serve the Lord.

What a testimony this dear friend of mine had. From looking at her Bible, I saw marks that indicated she had read God's Word from beginning to end more than 38 times. She loved God's Word. I was so glad that my children could be at the funeral with me to hear of such a woman of God, who even at her funeral was an example to those of us still living. She didn't even realize that she was mentoring others, but in her very example of faithfulness to the Lord, she was an example to all who knew her.

She carried prayer lists in her Bible. Through prayer this widow was able to reach into the very throne room of God each day in a special ministry--praying for others, praying for those churches she and her husband had worked in, praying for her family and loved ones, and praying

and praying and praying. I've talked to some who have lost a spouse in ministry, and they now aren't sure what ministry they will have. Prayer is such a needed ministry.

God takes us through many different stages in our lives, and when He takes our beloved spouse, He desires that we lean on Him more and more in our walk with Him, and He longs to see us lean on Him in prayer. This precious widow was a real prayer warrior. She took each concern straight to the Lord. Her ministry didn't end at her spouse's death, but rather changed to a one that she could do anywhere, anytime.

Wilna Campbell is now with Jesus Christ her Lord and enjoying His presence. She is reunited with those loved ones who've gone before. She is a wonderful example to me and to all Chera readers of a widow who was faithful to the end. I will miss her, but her death makes heaven seem closer. Her favorite song says, "Just think of stepping on shore and finding it heaven." She is now seeing her Savior and hearing, "Well done, thou good and faithful servant." I was inspired by Wilna's life and hope. May you also are inspired as a widow/er to be more faithful for the Lord in the days we have remaining before Jesus comes to take us home to be with Him FOREVER!

Miriam Lofquist Chera Editor

WE NEVER OUTLIVE OUR USEFULNESS "I don't know why I'm still here. My wife is gone; There's nothing left for me to do," Claude told us as he sat in an arm chair twirling his cane absent-mindedly across his lap. "I'm a has-been. I don't know why God doesn't take me home."

Claude wasn't complaining, as much as he was expressing a puzzle. He looked forward to his next life in God's presence and felt like his work on earth was done. Legally blind, he could no longer read or cook for himself. After Naomi's death he had begun tripping and falling, so his daughter helped him move into a group home. He had adjusted well, even though he missed chopping firewood and working the soil in his garden. The evening of our visit, his mind was still vibrant, if not his spirit.

"I can't read anymore-can't study the Bible. I can pray, but I don't know what the requests are. I try to talk to other people living here, but no one listens. They want to tell their stories, not hear mine."

"Claude, I feel like that sometimes, and I'm only 55!" my husband said with a laugh. "But everyone dies 'on time,' according to God's plan, not ours. It seems like some people die too early, and others, like you, stay longer than they want, but it's always 'on time' in God's eyes."

Claude nodded reflectively. He stood his cane upright between his knees and tapped the rubber tip on the floor piston-like.

"Ninety-six years is long enough. My achievements are over. I've had a good life, but I'm not afraid of death. I welcome it. I pray for it, but God won't listen!" He grinned and laid his cane across his knees again.

"You sound like Elijah, " I told him. Elijah felt like his work was over and asked God to die. Queen Jezebel had vowed to kill him anyhow, and he'd rather have God take his life. Ironically, Elijah never did die! God raptured him! Maybe God is saving you for the rapture."

Sitting back in his chair, Claude raised his head, "Wouldn't that be something?" he said with a wistful gaze.

We were quiet a while; then my husband said, "Even if Christ doesn't return soon, your being alive glorifies God. Your faithfulness to walk with Him all these years is an example to me, to everyone. Your holy living and daily fellowship with Christ glorifies Him. The way you have handled your limitations and submitted to living here when you had to give up your home was a good lesson for us all.

"When you get my age, you have no business setting policy; better just go along with what your family thinks is best, Claude said."

"We need more seniors with that kind of attitude. You're showing us how to accept losses and grow old gracefully. Just because you can't do as much as you used to, doesn't mean you aren't still ministering to others."

I added to my husband's words: "The way you smile and thank the workers here every time they do something for you may be your ministry now." Then I thought of something else. "How would you like me to call you when we have urgent prayer requests or church needs, so you could pray for them?"

Claude answered, "I think I'd like that. You're never too old to pray."

Like Claude, many widows/ers feel their work is over or people don't need them anymore. This issue of CF will help our readers find new ways to continue serving and meeting needs, whether by the vital but often hidden ministry of prayer or by public speaking and evangelism work like Helen Sunday did. Ruth Claybaugh shares how volunteering has revitalized her. You may find fulfillment through investing in your grandchildren, as Jane Owen learned. Ruth Gray enjoys being a "shoemaker's elf;" and Ardi Koster fulfilled her late husband's dream. Perhaps you will write and tell us more ways you have found purpose and usefulness by helping others and living for God.

Marcia Hornok Managing Editor

WILLING WIFE; WILLING WIDOW by Delores T. Burger

Billy Sunday was saved at the Pacific Garden Mission on Chicago's skid row. He met his wife, Helen Amelia Thompson, in church and proposed to her on New Year's night.

After his success as a professional ball player, Helen encouraged Billy to become an evangelist. As a result, Billy preached to millions and dramatically changed America's moral values. Helen organized the crusades that helped him become America's most famous evangelist between the eras of Dwight L. Moody and Billy Graham. Then God had another plan for Helen's life. In her words:

We had lived together for forty-seven years-we had traveled together for thirty-nine years in the work-and he was gone!...I went and knelt down in front of the bed. I put my head on Billy's forearm as he lay there dead, and I said, "Lord, if there's anything left in the world for me to do, if you'll let me know about it, I want to promise you I'll try to do the best I know how." I want to admit to you that I don't see one single thing left for me to do! Billy was my job...

After the funeral, sitting alone in her house, she could listen to the clock ticking. Painful memories filled her mind as she closed her eyes and rested her head on the back of the chair. Billy's body lay in a grave next to their three sons. Daughter Helen was gone too. All her children and her husband dead! It would be natural to ask, "Why, God? Why? Why am I left?" The painful thoughts about her children...if I had only...maybe they would not have...

Guilt can twist and turn in the mind, trying to get down into the heart. Many widows get mad at God and develop arthritis of the heart. Their hearts are so filled with pain and guilt they can no longer beat with compassion for others. Bitterness takes over and they are robbed of their joy. Not Helen Sunday. She lived out the Scriptures:

Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me (Psalm 51:12). Be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the Lord (Psalm 31:24 KJV).

Now it was Helen's turn up to bat, and she hit a home run! Her first speaking engagement as a widow was a great success as it touched many hearts. In her words:

I got through my message-I had written something to say-I didn't exactly read it, but I headed my message, "Things I'm thankful for," and I said, "Folks, It's surprising how many things God can reveal to you to be thankful for, if you really want to know and ask Him to help you. I had no idea there were so many! But when I prayed and asked God to help me write them down, they came into my mind one after the other.

Helen Sunday became "mother" to thousands of rescue mission workers and converts as she traveled North America from 1935 to 1957. She could tell a story as well as Billy, and she could laugh and get others to laugh with her. The heartache in the cities was massive, fueled by depression and war, and she knew how to minister to heartache. What she had suffered allowed

her to suffer with others. Those she touched reached out and touched others. The legacy of this willing widow still lives.

--Excerpted from the book, WOMEN WHO CHANGED THE HEART OF THE CITY, used with permission from Kregel Publications, Grand Rapids, MI.

LATE PRAYER by Barbara M. Sutryn

Oh God, who gave me life, who holds my years, dependency seems so unjust!

Help me surrender Self as life's end nears.

There is no terror like the secret fears of addled mind and spirit crushed.

Oh God, who gave me life, who holds my years,

give back that child-like faith that disappears when independence makes its thrust.

Help me surrender Self as life's end nears.

I know your hand has led through life's careers; forgive my waning day's mistrust,

Oh God, who gave me life, who holds my years.

I dread the day when childhood reappears- life has not asked, before, such trust.

Help me surrender Self as life's end nears.

Assert your sovereignty; forgive my tears- my dignity is not a "must."

Oh God, who gave me life, who holds my years, help me surrender self as life's end nears.

SUCCESSFUL AGING by Ruth Claybaugh

When things are not going just right, do something kind for someone. Usually that helps me not feel sorry for myself. For example, I might pick up the phone and call someone who needs encouraged. When I hang up, I'm encouraged too.

"Try something new," is the best advice I received after the death of my mate. (Even writing this piece is something new for me.) Some of the new activities I tried have helped to keep my mind and body fit. I take a Spanish class and two physical exercise classes weekly (After all, I'm only 86 years old.) I have found my faith also needs exercised, so I do church work and mail bulletins every week. I volunteer at the Senior Center and go there five days a week to enjoy the activities they provide. Watching the news on television and reading the newspaper keep me up on current events and give me something to look forward to daily.

Someone has said, "Aging is inevitable, but growing old is an attitude." It can be positive and happy, or negative and not so happy. Staying active instead of withdrawing, learning new things instead of stagnating, and helping others instead of pitying myself are ways I have found to stay happy while aging.

Ruth has enjoyed two successful marriages and has been a widow since 1992.

FROM GOD'S WORD

ENCOURAGE YOURSELF IN THE LORD FROM ANNA'S LIFE

Romans 15:4 tells us that through patience and comfort of the Scriptures, we will have hope. As you record your answers from these verses, God will speak to you through His word.

Read Luke 2:22-40 to get a mental picture of something incredible that happened to Jesus when He was 40 days old. Mary and Joseph thought they were presenting their son to God at the temple, when in reality, God used two senior citizens to present His Son to them! What does Luke 2:36 call Anna? _______________ How long had she been married? _________ What does Luke 2:37 call Anna? _______________ How old was she? ________ Where did she live? _________________________ How did she serve God night and day? ____________________________ From Luke2:38, when she observed Simeon blessing Jesus, what did Anna do right away? _____________________________ What did she continue doing after that? ___________________________________________

Summarize the "ministries" Anna was involved in as an elderly widow: _____________________________________________________________________

Which one(s) can you do? _______________________________________________

How are you serving God now? ___________________________________________

Ask God to show you other ways He may want you to serve Him.

ONE WIDOW'S LEGACY by Jane Owen

Grandma was 60 when I arrived as her seventh grandchild. In the next ten years, she celebrated fifteen more grand-births. This 4'9" lady didn't show favoritism, yet she made us all feel like favorites. Her glad manner never hinted how much she missed my Grandfather who had died twenty years earlier. Overnight, my Grandmother had become a widow and the single parent of seven children. Her steadfast faith left for her descendants a legacy that impacts my Christian walk today.

I can still see the way Grandma's endearing smile crinkled around her eyes. One afternoon in particular, when I was five, the pungent scent of her cinnamon cake led us hand-in-hand to the kitchen. I could hardly wait to taste that first, warm bite!

"Let's thank the Lord," she said, folding her hands. I tried to keep my balance on the thick phone book under me and resist the urge to sample her cake before she said amen. Then and there, however, I learned how Grandma prayed. She didn't use eloquent words or lengthy phrases; she simply expressed her heart to God. This simplicity encouraged the sense of openness I felt between us, so with a full mouth, I asked a child's question, "Grandma, where is Grandpa?"

She answered quietly, "He's in heaven, Janie."

"Don't you wish he was still here?" My words rushed out. I saw tears in her eyes. All at once, I was sad and embarrassed.

Then she took my hand, "Let me show you something," she said.

Upstairs in her quilting room, I saw a collection of colorful squares in the frame. "Look," she said, "This quilt has pieces from clothing each of our children wore. Here is a piece from a shirt your Dad wore when he was just about your age, and this one is from a dress your Aunt Jane had in high school."

I looked with wonder at all the fabrics. "What's this one?" I asked pointing to a bright, blue block. Grandma was so quiet; I didn't think she had heard me.

Finally, she answered, "That's from one of your Grandpa's favorite shirts, and next to it is the linen handkerchief I carried at our wedding. When I finish this quilt, it will help me remember the Lord's goodness," she continued. "Each small stitch is a reminder He works good things from scraps."

As a youngster, I had no idea of the struggles she had faced following Grandpa's death. Determined to keep her family together, she took in laundry and ironing to earn an income. She faithfully tithed her meager funds, setting a lasting example for her descendants.

In the midst of her family responsibilities as mother and breadwinner, Grandma cheerfully helped anyone in need. She founded a ladies' aid group during the Depression. This outreach, directed for her church, benefitted many families in the community.

Years later, I lived with my Grandmother for a few months. I saw first hand how she avoided the bitterness that heartache can cause. Every morning she read her Bible and sought the Lord in prayer. Though she only had an eighth grade education, the Lord's wisdom was a well of life within her. I often heard her pray at night too. She would kneel beside her bed and speak in whispered tones. On one occasion, I listened as she cried out to God, "Lord, help me! I'm trusting in You." In that moment I realized, my knowledge of God was in my head, but hers was in her heart. The even stitches of faith in her life 'quilted' the desire in me to truly know the Lord like she did.

More years passed. During another precious afternoon, we sat together at the quilting frame. Sunshine streamed in the windows. I held a faded photograph of the man who was my Grandfather. He had such dark, serious eyes; his lips formed a partial smile. I asked about their marriage, and Grandma let her words flow.

"Your Grandfather and I," she began, "courted a year."

"What was it like to court?"

With a chuckle, she replied, " We found special moments. We would meet in an oak grove mid-way between our farms. We couldn't stay long, because our families would not have approved. They were strictly old fashioned."

Hmm, old fashioned, I thought. I studied Grandma with her hair wound in a bun; her dress buttoned to the neck.

"Tell me more," I begged.

"My goodness, Janie!" she laughed. "I haven't talked of these memories with anyone."

Grandma fingered her gold wedding band. "I made a simple, ivory dress with blue bows around the bottom--your Grandpa loved blue. Our country church was filled with candlelight and bouquets of red roses." Her gemstone-blue eyes shone, "That was Christmas Eve, 1906."

In her wistful look, I saw contentment. She tapped her worn Bible, which never seemed out of her reach. Like a favorite quilt, it comforted her heart and kept her mind at ease; it had become her security blanket for life.

"The Lord has never failed me," she said.

Looking back, I now understand this affirmation was the bedrock of her joy. As a widow, she did not surrender to her grief, but took an active stand by yielding to the Lordship of Christ and

helping others. For 98 years she proved the Lord's faithfulness. As a result of her legacy, I enjoy rich fellowship with Him today.

When Jane Owen gave her life to Jesus at the age of 19, her grandmother was one of the first people she told. Since then, she and her husband Ron have been missionaries in St. Marc, Haiti, and Jane has taught for twelve years in both public and Christian schools. Residing in Utah, Jane does free-lance writing and is active in the children's ministry at her church.

WHAT CAN I DO NOW? Featuring Ruth Gray

When Rev. Bob Gray went to be with the Lord on August 26, 1998, his wife Ruth not only lost her husband, but her ministry as well. Suddenly she was no longer a pastor's wife, a position which she had enjoyed for 45 years. No husband to support and help. No automatic way to share Christ with people who asked, "And what do you do?" Her counseling opportunities, which Bob had given her, also ceased abruptly.

As the church looked for a new pastor, she realized she must take the back seat and let others make decisions and move the church in new directions, even if Bob would have done things differently. When the new pastor's wife came, Ruth took care not to overshadow her or give un-asked-for advice.

At first her only "ministry" was attending church faithfully. Every pastor appreciates this. Our presence in church does minister to him. Our attention when he speaks can be a spiritual vitamin to keep him enthused and encouraged. A kind word of appreciation may undo his self-doubts and boost his morale.

But Ruth felt like her own contributions to the Lord's work had ended along with Bob's. She decided she would wait for a ministry to find her. The choir director, knowing her love for music, asked her to join the choir now that she had some free time. Knowing she would not be able to sing without tears, she turned down this invitation.

As her season of grieving continued, she reminded herself that she and Bob had both dedicated their lives to the Lord. Bob's was finished, but her's was not. Her vocational position had ended, but not her life-purpose. She still was responsible to serve the Lord faithfully. After eight months, Ruth decided to move from Illinois to Michigan to live near her daughter. At her new church she noticed ways she could help. Ruth says, "God opens the doors if we look for opportunities. I spent last Monday with a woman who lost her husband about a year ago. The doctor has diagnosed her with depression. I took her out to lunch and we talked about how we miss our husbands and how different our lives are now."

Here are other ways Ruth has found to serve the Lord:

1-Before Bob died, she would often be in charge of church diners and funeral luncheons. Now she volunteers to bring food, but others do the planning.

2 - As a pastor's wife she had conducted a class of 25 pre-schoolers and directed the Vacation Bible School every summer. Now she helps when asked.

3 - She takes home her church prayer sheet and bulletin and prays for the needs listed. She also sends cards or notes of encouragement to those who are ill.

4 - She stays active in her grandchildren's lives and babysits her great grandson Gavin on occasion. Ruth says, "When Gavin is with me, I show him a picture of Bob. Gavin pats his face and says, 'Grandpa.' Someday Gavin will know Bob's legacy, because I'll pass it on to him."

5 - She tries to attend her grandson's football games at Taylor University. It means so much to him, and while rooting for his team, she forgets her sorrow.

6 - Ruth's new house has extra bedrooms, so she hosts missionary families who need housing. When Ruth's daughter Peggy and family of five needed a place to live one summer until their new house was built, they moved in with Ruth. Ruth said the arrangement included meals and laundry service. Peggy called it the best hotel they ever stayed in! Ruth also took in her grandson and his wife while their house was remodeled after a fire. Ruth says hospitality makes her feel needed, and it is good for her to concentrate on other's needs instead of her own.

7 - Sometimes she plays "shoemaker's elf" to her daughter. "Whenever I feel blue, I go to Peggy's house when she is out. I do her laundry and ironing, or I dust. It makes me feel useful, and Peggy likes it too."

8 - When Ruth sees decorating needs at her church, she revs up her hot glue gun and makes party favors, centerpieces, and other crafts.

Ruth says, "When I was busy living life as a pastor's wife, I didn't have time for some of these things. Now I do. How much can you do for yourself when you live alone? The house stays clean. You only cook for one. If I can help someone else, it gives meaning to my life." Ruth doesn't think about how much she is blessing others—she feels like the one being blessed. Although she is no longer Bob's "help-mate," Ruth is still God's handmaiden. When she was ready to start meeting other's needs again, God opened the doors, and Ruth obediently stepped out.

YOU CANNOT STAY DEAD From a conversation with Ardith Koster

Someone has said that the only antidote to grief is grieving. Ardi Koster has been a widow since 1996, but she tries to avoid characterizing grief as a series of steps or stages. She has observed that grief is individualized. People grieve in their own way and in their own time. "Everyone is different," she says, "I have found it best to stay close to God, and busy, and help others as I can. You no longer have a mate to do things for, so do things for other people." [Ardi told me this while treating three other women and me to lunch!] "For example, some can look for

opportunities right away; others have to have time first. Some widows/ers cannot have pictures around; some want them all over the house. Some have to give away the clothes without delay; some keep them hanging in the closet for years. You will know when it's time to make changes. The best thing that helps is time. You don't like it now, but you survive, and you have to eventually move on."

Before Dan died, he and Ardi had been planning to build a home for missionaries to use when on furlough. This desire never left Ardi. She didn't think she could build it without Dan, but she gave the project to God and started the process. Amazingly, everything fell into place. Ardi had virtually no problems to trouble shoot. The home took nine months, and Ardi learned, "You get strength you don't know you've got." She likes the Corrie ten Boom illustration about riding the train as a child. Corrie worried about the ticket, but her father kept it safe for her. Right before she needed it, her father handed her the ticket. So it is with God. He provides at the time of need-seldom before.

Ardi received great joy in decorating the missionary home herself and choosing brand new furnishings ("nothing second-hand for missionaries—they deserve the best!" says Ardi.) Two years after Dan died, the home was completed. Various missionary families have kept it occupied since.

Ardi says, "You die with your mate, but you cannot stay dead. Eventually you realize you will live, and you can live again. You have to make a whole new life for yourself, but God sustains you." Ardi thinks people who lose their mate should push themselves. "If you don't, life will pass you by." People get tired of the woe-is-me mind set. She says, "life goes on, and so should you."

Ardith Koster of MI enjoys skiing, hiking, and traveling. She hosts luncheons and coordinates Bible studies for women in her church.

ANNA'S KIN

"Anna...as a widow to the age of 84...never left the temple, serving night and day with fastings and prayers" (Luke 2:36-37).

One of the most valuable ministries anyone can have is that of prayer. No special skill required, no training needed, no expense. Plus you can do it anytime (3 AM when you can't sleep?), anywhere (no driver's license necessary), dressed anyway you please.

In future issues of CHERA FELLOWSHIP magazine, we will list a calendar of specific people and needs which our readers can take to God in prayer. This will include IFCA pastors, churches, missionaries, and ministries, and perhaps specific requests sent to us by our readers.

Meantime, if you wish to access other prayer lists, call 1-800-PSALM33 to hear requests about Christians who are ill. If you have Internet service, email the Friends in Action prayer hotline to learn about needs from the New Tribes Mission (FIA-USA@FIAintl.org)

Email us office@ifca.org if you want requests about IFCA International members forwarded to you from our chaplains.

Write to Slavic Gospel Association, 6151 Commonwealth Drive, Loves Park, IL 61111 for a monthly "Prayer and Praise Newsletter."

Then you can do us a favor. Write to one of the addresses on the back cover and let us know how God blesses you as a result of your new prayer ministry for Him.