a hidden truth

7/31/2019 A Hidden Truth

1/28


2/28

H o m e T o Am a n a

A

idden TruTH

Judith Miller

5


3/28

2012 by Judith Millr

Publishd by Bthany Hous Publishrs

11400 Hampshir Avnu South

Bloomington, Minnsota 55438

www.bthanyhous.com

Bthany Hous Publishrs is a division of

Bakr Publishing Group, Grand Rapids, Michigan

Printd in th Unitd Stats of Amrica

All rights rsrvd. No part of this publication may b rproducd, stord in a rtrival

systm, or transmittd in any form or by any mansfor xampl, lctronic, photocopy,

rcordingwithout th prior writtn prmission of th publishr. Th only xcption is

brif quotations in printd rviws.

Scriptur quotations ar from th King Jams Vrsion of th Bibl.

This is a work of fiction. Nams, charactrs, incidnts, and dialogus ar products of th

authors imagination and ar not to b construd as ral. Any rsmblanc to actual vnts

or prsons, living or dad, is ntirly coincidntal.

Library of Congrss Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Millr, Judith, 1944

A hiddn truth / Judith Millr.

p. cm. (Hom to Amana)

ISBN 978-0-7642-1000-6 (pbk.)

1. Young womnFiction. 2. Family scrtsFiction. 3. Amana Socity

Fiction. I. Titl.

PS3613.C3858H53 2012

813.6dc23 2012013125

Covr dsign by Lookout Dsign, Inc.

Author is rprsntd by Books & Such Litrary Agncy

12 13 14 15 16 17 18 7 6 5 4 3 2 1


4/28

7

C H A P T e R 1

Saturday, October 29, 1892

Over-the-Rhine District, Cincinnati, Ohio

Dovie Cates

I wont b going with you.

My brath vaporatd in thin, ghostlik whorls as I uttrd

th words.Th skirt of my black mourning drss whippd in th brisk

brz, and I prssd a glovd hand against th fabric bfor turn-

ing to mt my fathrs stly gaz.

Nvr bfor had I spokn with such authority. But lif had

changd. And not for th bttr.

I had qustions. Qustions that couldnt b answrd by my fathr.

Dovi Cats, you bcom mor lik your mothr vry day.My fathrs ys softnd.

His raction surprisd m. I was nothing lik my mothr.

At last not in my mind. W had shard th sam thick


5/28


6/28

A HIDDeN TRUTH

9

havnward. I want to go to Iowato th Amana Colonisand

larn of Mothrs past.

His jaw wnt slack and th pip slippd a notch bfor hclampd his lips tight around th stm. Confusion cloudd his

dark ys, and h shook his had. Foolishnss.

It isnt! I argud. Iv givn th mattr a grat dal of thought,

and I bliv it is an xcllnt ida.

Could my fathr not raliz how lonly I would b in Txas?

Whil h would b at work during th day and vn out of town

for short priods of tim, I would b lft alon in a strang city

with nothing to occupy my tim, without any frindsand with-

out my mothr.

Tll m, how did you com to such a conclusion?

Mothr would nvr tll m about hr pastnothing bfor

hr marriag to you. Only onc did sh mntion sh had livd

in th Amana Colonis, but whnvr I trid to larn mor, shrfusd to tll m. What can you tll m about hr lif back thn?

Not much. And mayb your mothr didnt talk about th

past bcaus it wasnt of any importanc to hr. My fathr blw

a ring of smok into th air.

Whn I didnt rspond, h sighd.

Sh did hav a cousin, Louis, and thy wrot to ach othrfor a numbr of yars. His brows furrowd. Your mothr and

this Louis livd in th villag known as east Amana, and thy

wr as clos as sistrsat last thats what your mothr told m.

Whn your grandparnts dcidd to lav Iowa, your mothr

was forlorn. I was nvr crtain what causd thm to lav, but I

know it had somthing to do with your grandfathr. I didnt ask

a lot of qustions.Why? Wrnt you inquisitiv? A strand of hair scapd, and

I tuckd it bnath my black bonnt.

A hous Frau with buckt in hand opnd hr front door and


7/28

JU D I T H M I L L e R

10

prpard to scrub th stps lading to th bordr of sidwalk. Sh

smild a toothy grin. Guten Morgen.

Gutn Morgn, my fathr and I rplid in unison.H took anothr puff from his pip as w continud onward.

No, I wasnt particularly curious, and your mothr nvr had

any dsir to discuss th past. Still, I knw hr Grman roots

wr important to hr. Whn sh askd to sttl in th Ovr-

th-Rhin district rathr than in anothr sction of Cincinnati,

I didnt argu. My work kpt m away long hours, and I knw

that until sh larnd english, sh would b mor comfortabl

among othr Grmans. H shruggd. I knw thr was no way

to chang anything that had happnd in hr past.

His answr surprisd m. Mayb not chang it, but prhaps

you could hav bttr undrstood hr, if youd larnd of hr past.

H shook his had as if to disagr, but I didnt stop. What w

larn from th past can hlp us form th futur, dont you think?My fathr archd an ybrow. Your youth fills you with grand

idas, Dovi. Wait until your my ag and thn s if you fl th

sam. Im not worrid about th past or th futur, but I do car

about th prsnt and what I must soon accomplish. My thoughts

ar upon my nw job in Dallas. Thr is th sal of th hous and

packing our blongings.My stomach clnchd at th firmnss in his voic. I didnt want

our convrsation to nd at an impass. I didnt want to talk about

his nw position in Dallas or about slling our family hom. I

wantd to talk about my mothrs past and who sh had bn

bfor sh marrid him and movd to Ohio.

Do you know anything ls about Mothrs cousin Louis?

Is sh still aliv?I hav no ida. Thy quit writing a long tim ago, whil you

wr still quit young. I think it was shortly aftr your grand-

parnts did.


8/28

A HIDDeN TRUTH

11

evn if my mothrs parnts had bn aliv, I doubtd thy

would b of hlp. Thy had both did whn I was quit young

and prior to my birth. I gathrd thr had bn littl contactand fw, if any, visits in ithr dirction. Othr than my fathr,

thr was no on who could provid th information I wantd.

H cam to an abrupt halt in front of Krgrs Bakry. Aftr

knocking th tobacco from his pip, h tuckd it back into his

pockt and noddd toward th door. Why dont w go insid

and hav a trat?

I wasnt crtain if h was using th bakry to fnd off my qus-

tions, but th swt, yasty smlls of strudl,Apfelkuchen, and

Brochen pulld m toward th bakry door. I stood in front of th

countr for svral minuts bfor making my slction and thn

followd my fathr to a small cornr tabl. H sat opposit m with

his cup of strong coff and Apflkuchn whil I momntarily

savord my own choica larg frostd Schnecken with raisinsgnrously sprinkld into th dough and smlling of warm buttr

and cinnamon. My mouth watrd as I cut a pic with my fork.

Aftr I swallowd th first bit, I lookd up at him. If I could

locat Mothrs cousin Louis and sh agrd, would you allow m

to go to Iowa for a visit? I hld my brath, afraid to look across th

tabl as I waitd for my fathrs answr. H appard thoughtfulas h took anothr sip of coff. I would b vry lonly in Txas,

and you will b busy with your nw job. I didnt want to bg,

but Id do so if ncssary.

You ar twnty-two yars old, Dovi. I dont bliv I can stop

you from writing a lttr. Howvr, you had bst b prpard for

disappointmnt.

But would you agr? If Cousin Louis says Im wlcomto visit, would you giv prmission? Bfor I wrot th lttr, I

ndd th assuranc h wouldnt try to stop m onc Id mad

progrss.


9/28


12

I dont think that will happn. You dont vn hav a good

addrss. But if sh rplis bfor w lav for Txas, Ill grant you

prmission to mak a visit bfor joining m in Dallas.I ros from th chair, land across th tabl, and kissd his

chk. Thank you, Papa.

His lips curvd in a mlancholy smil. Its always Papa whn

you gt your way. Am I right?

I grinnd and gav a nod. Ill snd my lttr in th morning.

If I writ hr nam and east Amana, Iowa, on th nvlop, it

should arriv without problm, dont you think?

Aftr wiping his lips, h hikd on shouldr. Who can say?

I dont vn know if sh still livs in east Amana. Thr is only

on way to find out, and that is to writ your lttr.

I graspd his hand. Thank you, Papa. You hav mad m vry

happy. From th distant look in his ys, I knw his dcision had

com at a pric, and my hart constrictd. H would b alon inhis mov to Txas.

H squzd my hand. Just rmmbr, this will b for a visit

and thn you will join m.

A hint of Grman accntd his final words, and I archd my

ybrows in surpris. What has happnd to your prfct en-

glish, Papa?H grinnd. Somtims th Grman accnt snaks back with-

out warning.

Unlik my mothr, my fathr rfusd to spak Grman xcpt

whn rquird. H pridd himslf on his xcllnt command of th

english languag. On th othr hand, I dont think my mothr vr

flt comfortabl spaking english, and hr accnt had rmaind thick

until th day sh did. Though sh had bn born in this country,my mothr had larnd littl english until aftr sh marrid Papa.

H pushd back his chair and stood. Tim to go hom. Thr

is much to do.


10/28

A HIDDeN TRUTH

13

I was plasd h didnt want to lingr. If h thought on th

mattr too much, h might chang his mind. Bsids, I wantd

to gt hom and writ my lttr to Cousin Louis. For th firsttim sinc my mothrs dath, th gnawing pain in my hart had

lssnd a bit.

My fathrs stp slowd as w nard th hous. You shouldnt

gt your hops too high. Youv had nough sadnss ths past

months. Whil your draming about bing wlcomd by dis-

tant rlativs, you nd to rmmbr that it may not happn.Try to kp som good thoughts about coming to Dallas with

your papa, too.

W walkd up th front stps, and I noddd as w ntrd th

hallway. Ill do my bst. Though I said th words, I doubtd I

could summon any positiv thoughts of lif in Txas without th

company of my mothr or my frinds.

Id bn unabl to larn much about my mothrs past whnsh was aliv, so going to Iowa at this tim might b th only

opportunity to discovr what hr lif had bn lik in Amana

and why hr family had dcidd to lav.

I waitd until my fathr wnt upstairs to his bdroom bfor

I gathrd a pn and papr. All aftrnoon Id considrd what I

should say. How did on ask complt strangrs if thy wouldagr to hav you com for a visit? It lackd propr tiqutt.

evn if Id nvr mt thm, ths wr not strangrsthy wr

rlativs. W ar unitd by blood, I whisprd.

As I dippd my pn into th bottl of black ink, I prayd that

kinship would b nough to opn thir harts and thir door.

Dear Cousin Louise,We have never met, so I would like to introduce myself to

you. I am Dovie Cates, the daughter of your cousin Barbara.

I am sorry to tell you that my mother died from influenza


11/28


14

two months ago. If you are reading this letter, you probably

still live in the Amana Colonies.

My father tells me that you and Mother corresponded aftershe left East Amana. I am most eager to meet my mothers

relatives. Please dont think me rude, but I would very much

like to come to East Amana for a visit. My father is required

to move to Dallas, Texas, for his work, and he has agreed

that I could come for a visit, should you agree.

It had bn svral yars sinc Id writtn anything of cons-

qunc in Grman, and I studid ach word. I didnt want any

rrors. A mistakn word or phras could crat nough misun-

drstanding to rsult in a rfusal of my rqust.

I am a good worker and would be happy to help in any way

possible during my stay. My father will soon be required toleave Cincinnati, so I would be grateful for an early reply.

Respectfully,

Dovie Cates

I foldd th lttr and tuckd it into a matching cram-colord

linn nvlop. My fathr had bn unabl to rcall th nam ofCousin Louiss husband. So although I ralizd th improprity,

I addrssd th lttr to Mrs. Louis Richtr, east Amana, Iowa,

and sald th contnts safly insid.

Still holding th lttr in my hand, I bowd my had. Plas

grant m this on favor, Lord. You alon know how much it

mans to m.


12/28

15

C H A P T e R 2

November 1892

East Amana, Iowa

Karlina Richter

Karlina! Th mail wagon is coming. You should hurry and mt

Brothr Hrman outsid. I was nintn yars old and had bn

mting th mail wagon sinc my fourtnth birthday, but mymothr continud to giv m th sam instruction ach day.

evn with all of th chattr and clanging of pots and pans in

our kitchn hous, my mothr could har Brothr Hrman arriv

bfor anyon ls. I wasnt sur if it was th clopping horss

hoovs on th dirt road, or if sh and Brothr Hrman had som

scrt signal, but my mothr always knw whn his wagon was

approaching.With a swping gstur, sh wavd m toward th door. Tak

th outgoing mailbag to him, and whn you com in, you should

bgin sorting. H is lat again. My mothr didnt nd a clock to


13/28


16

tll hr who was arly or lat. Sh had a natural instinct for such

things. As a young child, I thought sh had a small watch tuckd

in th pockt of hr apron or hiddn in som othr scrt plac.Hr sns of tim could prov bnficial or worrisom. Nothing

plasd Mothr mor than popl who wr on tim. And nothing

annoyd hr mor than lat arrivals.

As Kchebaas, my mothr mad sur thr mals a day and

a light lunch at midmorning and midaftrnoon wr srvd to

th narly forty villagrs who livd nar our kitchn hous. each

mal was srvd on tim, and vryon who workd in Mothrs

Kchesoon larnd that an intrruptd schdul was not to Sistr

Louis Richtrs liking. Thr wr othr kitchn houss in our

small villag, but non that srvd food as good as my mothrs.

At last that was my strong blif.

Bcaus th craggy hills surrounding our villag had nvr

bn considrd suitabl for growing crops, east Amana was thsmallst of th svn villags that comprisd th colonis. Though

som of my frinds said w wr th forgottn villag, I disagrd

and argud w wr all qual. Whn Id askd my fathrs opinion,

hd said, We are all equalbut some are more equal than others.

Back thn I hadnt undrstood. Now I had gaind mor insight.

Still, it didnt chang my lov for east or for th shp w cardfor in our villag.

Just as th Grossebruderrat, th ldrs chargd with making

dcisions rgarding th colonis, dtrmind what work could

bst b accomplishd in ach villag, thyd long ago dcidd our

Kch should distribut th mail and mdicin in east Amana.

My mothr prformd thos tasks in th sam ordrly fashion as

sh opratd th kitchn. A larg woodn structur dividd intocubbyhols bor th nam of ach family in th villag. each day,

Mothr or I sortd th mail and placd it in th propr boxs for

pickup. Ovrsing th mdicin cabint rquird far lss tim


14/28

A HIDDeN TRUTH

17

than th mail. Th mdicin chst rmaind lockd, but I knw

whr to find th kyjust in cas Mothr was gon whn som-

on ndd mdicin. Of cours, th doctor from Main Amanacould b summond for anyon who ndd car byond th basic

rmdis stockd in our kitchn hous.

Ill hav th mail sortd bfor tim for th noonday mal,

Mutter. I donnd my cap and hurrid toward th door. A strong

brz capturd th thick wool fabric and whippd it away from

my body, th cold air biting through my plain blu flannl skirt.Gathring th dg of th cloak, I pulld it tight bfor I wavd to

Brothr Hrman. Gutn Morgn. I lookd toward th darkning

sky as I calld out my grting. It is gtting coldr,ja?

H bobbd his had and land down to tak th mailbag I

offrd. Ja, for sur. Tll Sistr Louis sh should not put th blam

on m for th tardy dlivry. Th train was lat this morning. H

grinnd and handd m th burlap sack stampd with th wordEASTon both sids. Insid you should go, bfor you catch a

cold. H pointd toward th horizon and touchd th brim of his

hat. Looks lik it could snow this aftrnoon.Auf Wiedersehen,

Sistr Karlina. And dont forgt to giv your Muttr my mssag.

Ill tll hr. Holding th bag tight in my hand, I shivrd and

glancd toward th shp barns. Had Fathr alrady hrdd thminto th barn? If not, h would likly nd hlp. With th chang

of wathr, his bons would b aching by th tim h rturnd

for th noonday mal. I longd to run to th barn and find out,

but on look at th sack in my hand and I knw I must go insid.

Aftr hanging my cap on th pg nar th door, I stppd into

th kitchn. Brothr Hrman said I should tll you th train was

lat, so you should not blam him.Ja, ja. excuss, h always has for m.

I grinnd and shook th bag. Thr isnt much today. Ill hav

it sortd and in th boxs in no tim. Though my first choic


15/28


18

was working with th shp, I prfrrd sorting mail to pling

potatos or cutting noodls. Much to my mothrs dismay, th

kitchn hld no intrst for m.Moving through th nvlops with practicd as, I sortd

and slippd ach pic into th appropriat box. As I nard th

bottom of th pil, my gaz fll upon a cram-colord nvlop

addrssd to my mothr and writtn in a bautiful script. In th

uppr lft cornr was a smallr script baring th nam of th

sndr. Dovie Cates. I sarchd my mind trying to rcollct if Id

vr bfor hard that nam, but I could rcall nothing. Surly I

would rmmbr such an unusual nam.

I shovd th final pic of mail into th Bchmrs mail slot,

pickd up my mothrs lttr, and hurrid to th kitchn. Stpping

clos to hr sid, I tappd th nvlop whil trying to calm my

curiosity. Who is Dovi Cats?

My mothrs ybrows droppd low on hr forhad. Sh tookth lttr from my hand and xamind th handwriting. Shs

my cousin Barbaras daughtr. Hr complxion pald and sh

hsitatd a momnt bfor sh shovd th lttr into hr apron

pockt. Ill rad it latr.

My xcitmnt plummtd lik a dflatd balloon. Latr? But

thrs tim bfor th mal must b srvd.I think I am a bttr judg of how much tim is ndd. Sh

straightnd hr shouldrs and juttd hr chin. Th lttr will

wait. Hungry stomachs will not.

Though I wantd to ask if I could rad th lttr whil sh

continud with hr chors, I bit back th rqust. Sing th

dtrmind look in hr y, I knw th roastd pork, saurkraut,

and boild potatos would com first.For all of us.

A short tim latr th mn, womn, and childrn ntrd th

dining hall. Our parlor and bdrooms wr on th uppr floor of


16/28

A HIDDeN TRUTH

19

th hous, whil th larg kitchn and dining hall ncompassd

th lowr floor. Th mn took thir positions at tabls on on

sid of th room, and th womn and childrn gathrd at tablsalong th othr sid. Onc prayrs for th mal had bn offrd,

vryon took thir sat on th woodn bnchs along ach sid of

th tabls. Wood scrapd on wood as vryon sttld. evryon

xcpt th kitchn workrs who rmaind busy filling pitchrs

and bowls until th mal had bn compltd. Only thn would

my mothr and th othr workrs at.

I glancd at my fathr svral tims throughout dinnr. H

shiftd his wight, as though sitting on th bnch was causing his

bons to ach. Whn th junior girls who wr larning kitchn

work bgan to srv our dssrt of stwd appls and raisins, I

managd to signal him. Onc th parting prayrs had bn uttrd

and most of th othrs had dpartd, my fathr approachd.

You ar worrid about th shp? A faint smil curvd his lips.I noddd. Did you gt thm to th barn, or do you nd m

to hlp you? Sinc my fathrs halth had worsnd, Id bn

assisting him mor and mor with th shp. And although th

work wasnt rally propr for a young woman in our socity, I had

bn around th animals sinc I was a young girl and had inhritd

my fathrs lov for tnding shp. A fact that hadnt scapd mymothr. I wasnt crtain if shd turnd a blind y to my tim in

th barns bcaus I was such poor hlp in th Kch or bcaus

of my fathrs dclining halth. To m, th rason didnt mattr.

I was simply plasd sh didnt objct.

Ja. Thy ar fin. His gaz sttld on th tabls filld with

dirty dishs. You wr hoping to gt out of hlping wash dishs?

Nein. Its not my wk for dishwashing. I stppd closr. Mut-tr rcivd a lttr todayfrom Dovi Cats. I waitd, hoping

hd supply m with additional information, but h didnt rspond.

Was thr anything ls in th mail?


17/28


20

I shook my had, disappointd by his lack of intrst. Muttr

said sh is th daughtr of hr cousin Barbara.

I suppos that is right. I knw Barbara had a daughtr, but Ididnt rmmbr hr nam. What did sh say in hr lttr?

My xcitmnt mountd. Prhaps h was mor intrstd than

Id thought. Muttr hasnt opnd th lttr yt. Sh said shd

wait until aftr w finishd th noonday mal.

H grinnd. And you ar hoping that I will hurry hr along

with rading th lttr. I am right?

Sldom could I hid such flings from my fathr. In my youngr

yars h said h knw m bttr than I knw myslfand h prob-

ably still did. You ar right. I graspd his arm and h flinchd.

Im sorry, Vater. Your bons ar aching mor than usual today?

Ja. But dont say anything to your Muttr. Sh will only worry.

Com. Lts s what w can find out about this lttr from your

Muttrs rlativs.I followd bhind. Bttr to lt him tak th lad. My Muttr

would b quickr to answr Vatrs qustions than my own. H

stood in th kitchn doorway and waitd until Mothr finishd

talking to th othr womn. You hav a fw minuts for m,

Louis?

Mothr turnd and hr ys softnd whn sh lookd at myfathr. I knw whn you walkd in th door that you would nd

som mdicin. Sh rachd into hr skirt pockt and withdrw

a packt of powdrs Dr. Zimmr, th physician in Main Amana,

had prscribd. Sit down at th tabl and Ill bring you watr.

H didnt argu. My fathr may hav bn intrstd in th

contnts of Dovi Catss lttr, but right now his pain xcdd his

curiosity. Momnts latr I was sitting bsid him whn my mothrrturnd with th watr. Sh archd hr brows. If your Vatr

dosnt nd your hlp, you can go upstairs and dust th furnitur.

My fathr dumpd th packt of powdr into th glass, stirrd,


18/28

A HIDDeN TRUTH

21

and swallowd th mixtur in on gulp. H swipd th back of

his hand across his lips. W thought you would want to shar

your lttr with us. H glancd at m. Isnt that right, Karlina?Ja. I told Vatr about your lttr from Cousin Barbaras daughtr.

My mothr slappd th pockt of hr apron, and th nvlop

crackld against hr palm. Ach. I alrady forgot about th lttr,

but that onsh is always putting hr nos into th businss of

othrs. My mothr tappd hr nos and lookd at m. I thought

sh might rfus to opn th lttr now, but sh winkd and

withdrw th lttr from hr pockt. Lts s what Dovi has to

say. Sliding th tip of hr fingr bnath th sal, sh opnd th

nvlop and withdrw svral shts of stationry that matchd

th cramy nvlop.

My mothr unfoldd th pags, hr ys rapidly moving back

and forth as sh rad th first pag. Fathr sat quitly whil I

fidgtd, hoping sh would soon say somthing. Whn sh placdth first pag fac down on th tabl and continud to th scond

pag without a word, I could stand it no longr. Sh has prtty

handwriting, ja?

A silnt nod was my mothrs only rspons. My fathr pattd

my hand. Patinc is a virtu, child. Your mothr will talk to us

onc sh has finishd rading.I did my bst to hd my fathrs words, but I now wishd Id

takn a sat alongsid my mothr, whr I might hav bn abl

to rad ovr hr shouldr. Instad, I intntly watchd hr faturs

chang as sh rad. On th first pag sh had appard sad, but

now hr fac rflctd surpris, and as sh finishd, I saw worry

in hr ys.

My fathr waitd a momnt. Bad nws?Cousin Barbara is dad. Influnza. About two months ago.

Sadnss tuggd at my mothrs lips.

No doubt sh was also rcalling th daths of my twin brothrs.


19/28


22

Whnvr somon in th villags did of pnumonia or inf lu-

nza, a sad longing rturnd to my mothrs ys. For all of us it

rkindld mmoris of what thir livs might hav bn.Mothr clard hr throat and swallowd. Barbara was nvr

blssd with good halth.

My fathr rachd across and pattd my mothrs hand. Bar-

baras suffring is ovr and sh is in a bttr placsh is with

th Lord.

Ja, I know. And I will s hr again on day. Still, it is hard

to know sh is gon from this arth. Sh gathrd th pags and

put thm in ordr. Hr daughtr wants to com hr for a visit.

My fathrs jaw wnt slack, and h pickd up th lttr. Mayb

sh dosnt undrstand Grman so wll and confusd hr ms-

sag to you.

Hr Grman is vrygut. Thr is no mistak. Sh says hr

fathrs work rquirs that thy mov to Txas. Sh wants to comhr and visit with us whil h gos and finds a hous for thm.

Mothr startld whn I clappd my hands togthr. That

would b wondrful! How old is sh? It would b lik having a

sistr hr in th hous with m.

Pans clattrd in th kitchn and my mothr frownd. I am

thinking sh is twnty-on or twnty-twomayb twnty-thr.For sur, sh is a yar or two oldr than you.

Plas tll hr sh can com, Muttr.

My fathr continud to rad whil my mothr ignord m and

stard at him. Whn h finally finishd th lttr, h noddd.

You ar right. Hr Grman is gut.

With a sigh, my mothr tuckd th pags into th nvlop.

What do you think about hr coming for a visit? What shouldI writ and tll hr?

Oh plas, Vatr. Say ys. Surly sh should b abl to com

and mt us.


20/28

A HIDDeN TRUTH

23

My fathr foldd his hands togthr. To b honst, it is con-

fusing. Aftr all ths yars it is strang that hr daughtr would

want to visit th colonis. I do not undrstand why sh wouldsk you out. Barbara hadnt writtn for yars.

You know it was th circumstancs. . . .

Ja, ja. I know, but it is odd sh would wish to com hr rathr

than go with hr Vatr. And odd that h is willing to b sparatd

from his daughtr so soon aftr his wif has did.

Who can say why h is willing. Mayb h thinks sh will

bar th loss of hr mothr mor asily. My mothr tuckd th

nvlop back into hr pockt.

W dont nd to dcid right now. W will pray about it, and

thn you can writ to hr.

His rspons dampnd my spirits as much as stpping into th

Iowa Rivr in th middl of wintr. Though I had no ida what

Dovi might b lik, th thought of having a girl nar my own agliving in our hous plasd m a grat dal. And larning about th

outsid world intrigud m, as wll. Unlik thos living in Main,

Homstad, and South, thr was no train station in east. Whn

thr was a nd for th train to stop hr, w would hang a rd

flag from th poland that didnt happn oftn. Visitors wr

rar in our villag. W could count on sing thm at lambingsason and during th annual shp sharing. Othrwis, thr

was littl to bring othrs to east.

My fathr stood, a signal for all of us to rturn to our work.

Rmmbring my mothrs mntion of dusting, I lookd toward

th door lading outdoors. Would you lik m to go to th barn

and s to frsh watr for th shp?

Whn h hsitatd, my mothr wavd. Go on. Th dustingcan wait until you gt back, and your fathr nds to rst. Just

mak sur th furnitur is dustd bfor th vning mal.

I pckd a kiss on my mothrs chk. Going to watr th shp


21/28


24

didnt plas m as much as if Id hard my parnts agr that

Dovi could com for a visit, but it far surpassd dusting furnitur.

Grabbing my cloak, I hurrid outsid bfor my mothr couldchang hr mind. Th clouds that had arlir sttld on th horizon

finally movd ovrhad, and pllts of slt stung my chks as

I hurrid down th strt and onto th dirt path lading to th

shp barn. Most of th shp had com insid, but a fw stood

bnath th protctiv roof along th sid of th barn. A small door

rmaind opn to prmit thm ntry whn thy finally dcidd

thy wantd mor shltr than th roof providd. As I walkd

insid, svral of th animals instinctivly cam to m.

Though I had to agr God cratd animals that could b

considrd mor intllignt than shp, I also didnt forgt th

Bibl rfrncs to his popl as shp. I ran my fingrs through

th thick wool of a w as I continud toward th door lading

to th shp standing outsid in th slt. I calld to thm. Rc-ognizing my voic, thy ambld toward th door and cam into

th warmth. Thir nd to b tndd and card for wasnt much

diffrnt than my own. Somtims thy strayd and ndd th

shphrds crook to bring thm back into th fold. Was that what

Dovi hopd for? Tndr car that would bring hr into th fold?

I pickd up a larg buckt, and as I walkd to th pump, I

prayd my parnts would agr to lt Dovi com and visit us.


22/28

25

C H A P T e R 3

Th sound of my mothrs footstps chod on th stairs lading

to our upstairs parlor. evn though th tim for vning prayr

mting had not yt arrivd, darknss drapd th vning sky.

Mothr opnd th door and stppd insid as my fathr pushd

up from his chair.H grtd hr with a kiss on th chk. I rcivd word from

th ldrs that thy hav dcidd upon a young man to hlp m

with th shp. Hll arriv in th morning.

My mothr stoppd short and hr smil fadd. Tomorrow? I

could us mor notic than on night, Gorg. Sh tskd and shook

hr had. Karlina and I will nd to prpar th spar bdroom

whn w rturn from prayr mting, sh said, glancing at m.Hr faturs softnd as my fathr graspd th back of th

chair for support. I am sorry for my gruff rspons. You nd

hlp caring for th shp, and Iv prayd th ldrs would snd


23/28


26

somon. Now that th Lord has answrd my prayrs, I am still

complaining.

My fathrs lips curvd into his familiar smil. I know you artird, Louis. I will hlp Karlina whn w rturn hom.

Mothr shood him with a dismissiv wav. Ach! I will not

hav my husband claning hous. What would popl think!

My fathr chuckld. Who cars what thy think? Bsids,

thy know only what you tll thm.

My stomach bound in knots. Thr would undoubtdly b

many changs with th arrival of this nw workr. But what

about Dovi? That was going to b hr room.

Both of my parnts turnd and lookd at m, but it was my

mothr who answrd. You can shar your room with hr. Sh

wont b hr long, and sharing a room is not such a bad thing.

Sh was likly corrct on that account. My twin brothrs had

shard th room that would now b assignd to th nw shphrd,and thy had njoyd bing togthr. Whn th two of thm did

of pnumonia, my mothr closd off th room and usd it only

whn ndd for an occasional visitor. I was twlv whn th twins

did, and I still missd th sound of thir laughtr. Bcaus I had

nvr falln ill, a twist of guilt continud to nag m from tim

to tim. I nvr wantd to forgt my brothrs, but it had bcomasir to ward off such thoughts in rcnt yars.

Your mothr is right. Th room is ndd for th young man.

Ja. I undrstand and I will b plasd to shar my room. It

had takn svral days for my parnts to rach thir dcision and

writ a lttr inviting Dovi to visit us. Muttr had xprssd mor

misgivings than Vatr, but sh had finally agrd that sh could

not rfus Dovis rqust. I didnt want to do or say anythingthat would caus thm to rgrt th invitation. Bsids, Dovi

wouldnt arriv until spring. Thr would b ampl tim to rar-

rang my room for hr visit.


24/28

A HIDDeN TRUTH

27

Who is this nw shphrd? Is h from South or Wst Amana?

Smallr flocks of Shropshir shp wr pasturd in thos othr

two villags, but only in east was a flock of grat magnitudmaintaind. Our combind flocks had incrasd to narly fif-

tn hundrd shp, but my fathr was th ovrsr of just th

opration in east. As th siz of our flock incrasd, my fathrs

rsponsibilitis had grown in qual masur. I couldnt dny his

nd for an assistant managr, though I hopd h wouldnt hand

ovr any of my tasks to th nw shphrd.Sinc th dath of my brothrs and with my fathrs diminishing

halth, h had grantd m mor rsponsibility with th shp. Of

cours, th fact that my mothr didnt complain whn I was away

from th kitchn had provd to b important, as wll.

Shrugging into his havy jackt, my fathr archd a brow. His

nam is Anton Bckr. H is from High Amana, and hs twnty-

thr yars old.High? Thr ar no shp in High. Is h a shphrd?

I hav told you what you nd to know about th young man.

H is th choic of th ldrs, and I will trust thir dcision. My

fathr opnd th door. You should do th sam.

Ja, Vatr. I will do my bst. I said th words, but during our

brif walk to prayr mting at th Wntlrs hous, I wasnt so surId b happy with th ldrs dcision, spcially if this nw shp-

hrd was a farm laborr or baskt wavr who had no xprinc

with shp. How could h possibly b considrd a good choic?

Whil th nighbors who attndd our nightly mtings offrd

prayrs of thanks for th hlp that would b arriving in th morning,

I qustiond Gods dcision and adoptd a wait-and-s attitud.

v

Whn Anton Bckr arrivd at th barn th following morn-

ing, I grtd him with as much xcitmnt as I could mustr.


25/28


28

H glancd around th barn as though hd arrivd in a strang

land. And to him, it likly was.

I took pity upon him whn his wak attmpt at a smil fllshort. W ar plasd you wr slctd to com and hlp us,

Brothr Anton. I stppd forward. I am Karlina Richtr; my

fathr is th ovrsr of th shp hr in east.

H yankd his cap from his had and a shock of dark hair fll

across his forhad. Plasd to mt you, h murmurd as h

continud his xamination of th nclosur. I was told to com

straight to th barn and that Brothr Gorg Richtr would giv

m my instructions.

Whr ar your blongings? Did you tak thm to th hous?

Nein. Brothr Kortig, on of our ldrs from High, brought

m. H said h would tak my trunk to th hous and thn rturn

and talk to your Vatr. Is h hr?

I shook my had. His halth is not gut this morning, and hrturnd hom for a short tim. Im sur Brothr Kortig will hav

no troubl finding him.

H rakd his fingrs through his hair. Clarly, h was uncom-

fortabl.

Hav you workd with shp bfor, Brothr Anton?

Nein, but this was th ldrs dcision.Ja. So my Vatr told m.

H land his tall fram against on of th support bams,

carful to avoid contact with any of th shp. What ls did

h tll you?

Only your nam and that you liv in High.

Livedin High. For now I liv in east. Th warinss in his

ys diminishd. So that is all you know about m?Was thr somthing mor my Vatr should hav told m?

Nin. H pushd away from th bam and straightnd his

shouldrs. I think I should go up to th hous and mt your


26/28

A HIDDeN TRUTH

29

Vatr. Brothr Kortig would not lik it if h knw I was alon with

a girl in th barn. H turnd up his collar and donnd his cap.

Probably your Vatr would not lik it so much, ithr.I grinnd. You will lik my Vatr. H is a kind man and a gut

tachr. Whn h continud toward th door without a rspons,

I followd him for a fw stps. You should tak th path up to

th road and turn lft. Ours is th kitchn hous on th cornr.

H strod out of th barn and followd th path without a

backward glanc. Shivring, I hurrid aftr him and closd th

door. It was good my fathr was a patint man, for Anton Bckr

would nd much instruction.

And th instructions could bgin with how to clos th barn

door.

Whil I ntrd th amounts of fd usag into th rcord

book, my thoughts rmaind on Anton and why h had bn th

ldrs choic. Thy hadnt basd thir dcision upon his ability.And what had h mant whn hd said, For now I live in East?

Was h planning to b hr for only a short tim? It mad no

sns to tach him how to work with th shp if h would b

laving in th nar futur. Without warning, th answr cam to

m. Hes in East for his year of separation. Th rason was as clar

as an Iowa sky on a starry night. Th ldrs had chosn Antonbcaus h had rcntly bcom ngagd to a girl in High. H

would spnd his yar of sparation in east and thn rturn to

High and marry th girl.

Thr could b no othr rasonabl answr. And yt th thought

annoyd m. Not bcaus I card if Anton Bckr marrid

though I pitid th girl who would marry a man who did not

know how to clos a door bhind him. Instad, I was irritatdbcaus w would spnd th nxt yar taching him to car for

shp and thn h would dpart as quickly as hd arrivd. Strictly

spaking, hd b of littl us at all during his tim in east. Didnt


27/28


30

th ldrs raliz my fathr ndd somon who would larn to

lov shphrding, somon who had a dsir to spnd thir lif

caring for shp, and somon who njoyd th pacfulnss of arolling pastur on a spring day?

Somon lik m.

excpt th somon had to b a man.

I had finishd my ntris whn th barn door opnd and a

gust of cold wind rushd in ahad of my fathr and Anton. If my

fathr had misgivings about th ldrs dcision, thy rmaind

wll hiddn. Anton tlls m th two of you hav mt. My fathr

didnt wait for an answr. Brothr Kortig has dpartd for High,

so I thought it would b gut to bring Anton down to th barn

and tll him a littl about our shp and what will b xpctd of

him ach day. H turnd his attntion to th young man. My

daughtr knows as much about ths shp as I do, and thy

rspond to hr mor quickly than anyon ls. Thrs much youcan larn from hr.

I wantd to tll Anton his first lsson would b about closing

doors, but I didnt want to caus him mbarrassmnt on his first

day in our villag. I am hr much of th tim, so if you hav

qustions, you can always ask m.

My fathr pulld his coat tight around his nck. Th mostimportant thing you must larn is this: No flock will b quit and

plasant without th frqunt attntion of a kind, quit shphrd.

Thy ar, by natur, asily handld by a shphrd who will giv

thm gut car, and th only way you will larn propr manag-

mnt is to handl th stock. In othr words, th bst way to larn

is by doing.

I wasnt crtain if Anton was bord or frightnd, but his intrstappard to b lswhr as my fathr continud to xplain what

would b xpctd of him. Whn my fathr hsitatd for a momnt,

Anton intrruptd. I probably wont rmmbr vrything your


28/28

A HIDDeN TRUTH

tlling m, so why dont I bgin larning by doing. Didnt you say

that was th bst way to larn?

I didnt miss th twinkl in my fathrs y as h pointd to thfloor. Sinc your in a hurry to bgin, you can start with muck-

ing out th barn. W also hav svral shds that provid shltr

for th animals. Onc youv finishd in hr, you can work on

thos. Im going to rturn to th hous, but Karlina can point

thm out to you onc youv finishd in hr.

Onc my fathr dpartd, Anton pickd up a shovl. I am

thinking I should not hav bn in such a hurry.

Ja. Somtims it pays to rmain silnt and listn. But with

your arly start, you will hav plnty of tim to finish bfor th

vning mal. I trid to withhold a chuckl, but to no avail.

Antons knuckls turnd whit as h graspd th shovl, and th

flash of angr in his ys both surprisd and frightnd m. Im

sorry, I shouldnt hav laughd.H didnt accpt my apology. H didnt say a word. Instad,

h clampd his jaw so tight that th tndons in his nck stood

out lik gartr snaks. I st to work scooping th corn and oats

in qual masur. I thought it asir to prpar th mixtur in

advanc, and had plannd to xplain th procss to Anton. But

aftr obsrving him for a fw momnts I dcidd to wait for atim whn h was in bttr humor.

I had nard th barn door, prpard to rturn hom, whn

Anton calld my nam. I turnd and h stood laning on th

shovl. Im sorry for th way I actd. I am told I hav a problm

with my tmpr.

And do you?

This tim h chuckld. I think you alrady know th answrto that qustion, but I am hoping to improv.

Thn I shall pray that you do so. And thank you for your

apology.

a hidden truth

Documents