a hero's lie

8/17/2019 A Hero's Lie

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“I’m not a hero,” I mumbled into my pillow. Everyone has been calling me that for a week now. I can’t

take it anymore. I wasn’t a hero, I was just trying to fi what I messed up. !o one was suppose to be there. It

was dumb and stupid. "y mom is going to be so mad at me. I don’t even what to know what my dad will do.

“#al,” my mom called up from downstairs. “#ome for dinner.” I slowly sat up and looked at my feet. "y

life will be over if I tell what really happened. It’s only been a week. $hey will stop talking about this soon.

%ight& I just have to wait it out and they will forget. $hen I can forget and everything will be normal again.

I stood and shrugged off my hoodie and went down in my tee shirt and jeans that I still had on from

school. 's I got to the bottom of the stairs I could already smell part of the meal that was waiting for me in the

dining room. "y dad and my uncle were already there and seated.

“(i dad. )ncle (arry,” I said with all the joy I was feeling at the moment before I sat down. 's I did, I

reali*ed that they were going to pick up on it if even I reali*ed I sounded down.

“+hat’s wrong #alvin&” dad asked as )ncle (arry looked into the kitchen as he picked at one of the

dishes already on the table. I think it was a tomato from the salad.

“!othing,” I said with a bit more upbeat tone this time. I hoped. I wasn’t sure I pulled it off that well.

“ust thinking about a pop -ui* "s. +elsh gave us today,” I didn’t lie.

“+hat subject is that&” )ncle (arry asked me.

“'merican (istory,” I stated.

“+hat period was the test about&” dad asked me now as mom walked into the room holding another

dish.

“+ounded nee mostly,” I told them without correcting him. It was a -ui* and not a test.

“+ho wounded their knee&” "om asked as she set what she was holding down in its spot.

“/on’t know,” )ncle (arry said. “#alvin was just about to tell us,” he ended.

“It was a massacre that happened at +ounded nee #reek back in 0123,” I started as she motioned for

me to pass her my plate. “It happened on a 4akota Indian %eservation,” I continued. I looked around the table

and they seemed to be actually paying attention to me, so I tried to remember some of the -uestions and their

answers to continue the story for them. “' "ajor +hitside and his cavalry regiment, the 5th, surrounded and

killed a band of 4akota. $hey killed just about everyone. "en, women, children, and some of the soldiers that

got caught in the crossfire. 'll because they tried to disarm the Indians and one of them didn’t understand what

was going on,” I mumbled near the end.

I reached for my fork for the first time and looked up after I took at stab at my meatloaf. "om was just

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putting down her plate, dad looked shocked, and for some reason, )ncle (arry almost looked like he had to

apologi*e for something.

“It’s what happened,” I said in my defense. $hey were the ones that wanted to know.

“6eah, well,” my mom started as she reached for my own fork. “4et’s try and talk about something a bit

more pleasant ok&” 7he asked. I just reached for the jug of oolaid and poured myself a glass.

“$hen what I had to say isn’t something you want to hear then,” dad said as he too started to eat. I kept

my head down to eat, but I saw as )ncle (arry picked up the jug after I had put it back.

“/id anyone die&” "om asked him.

“!o,” he said before starting to chew something green.

“$hen talk away,” she told him. (e took a moment to cut into his meatloaf and take a bite before he

said anything again.

“"r. /rum saw me on his way home from the hospital today,” he said before pausing and I heard knife

and fork working against his plate. I already knew where this was going, but I couldn8t get up and leave. “I was

coming out of the hardware store and he was just walking by when we saw each other. I asked him how $aylor

was doing, and he said that they were just about ready to discharge her. (er lungs were much better now.” (e

stopped to take a sip and eat a bit more.

“$hat8s great,” mom said. “+hy wouldn8t I want to hear that&” she asked him.

“(e said,” he continued. “(e was on his way to talk to 9ather +ilson about doing some fundraising to

help with the hospital bills. I gave him the fifty I had on me and said that we’ll make sure to come with some

hundreds on 7unday,” he seemed to finish as he reached for his cup and take a bit more than a sip before

getting some snap peas on his fork.

“I still don’t hear anything bad,” mom said and she wasn8t the only one who epected to hear him say

something different. I kept on eating, hoping that I could finish and leave the table before someone, never mind

dad, started on a subject I didn8t want to hear.

“:ranted, it8s nothing as major as +ounded nee, in fact, it8s downright nothing compared to that.

$hank you son,” he said before eating some more. I looked up and he winked at me in gratitude.

“7ure thing,” I answered somewhat baffled. I reached for my cup to help wash the lettuce down.

“I said church 4illy,” dad said to mom.

“6ou said I was coming to church&” she asked as I saw her lay her utensils on the plate’s rim.

“+here do you think we would be going on 7unday&” (e asked before he continued to eat.

“6ou said fundraiser,” mom reminded him. “;ake sale. Etra donation bo outside the 9ather’s office. I

don’t know,” mom said easperatedly before just looking at him more upset at things than mad at him before

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she shook her head and started to eat again.

$he table was -uiet for a while. nives and forks continued to scrape against plates, cups clinked now

and again, people shifted in chairs and the muted sounds of chewing filled our occupied space.

“'t least you are only helping to pay for hospital bills and not funeral costs,” )ncle (arry chimed in

with. $here it was. "om reached over and patted my hand in pride that I saved the girl or that I myself was

alright. 7he didn’t say anything either way, so I didn’t feel like pulling my hand out of hers.


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Are you going to tell them on Sunday?

+ell almost stopped the maybes. $hey could still be guessing. $hey didn’t say they would tell anyone.

$hey weren’t threatening me. I decided that there was nothing I could do and tried to forget about. ;ut the

harder you try to forget something, the more you think about it. I started to wonder if I could keep myself from

saying anything on 7unday.


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going to send my way today. 'nd they came. 7lowly at first. "y uncle walked away for some reason, but mom

played the part of the proud mother that she truly was.

7ome shook my hand but told mom that she had a fine boy. $he word hero was tossed at us far more

than I was comfortable with. ' few mothers introduced me to their daughters and they were lucky I could

present them with a smile knowing they wouldn8t give me the time of day if they really knew. I had seen

enough movies to know this and I also knew the longer I let this go on, it would just make them hate me even

more if they found out, when they found out. ;ut I was still willing to try and avoid breaking my mom’s heart

and being a disappointment to my dad. I didn8t really care about the other people as much. $hey didn8t care

about me before.

'll of this swirled around in my head as I kinda understood what was going on around me without really

taking any of it in. I stood when I was supposed to stand. I sat when I was suppose to sit. I bowed my head with

everyone else and passed the collection basket along when it reached me. I saw as dad placed the check in and

I watched as )ncle (arry dropped in a fifty before he pulled out two ten’s. $he priest had stepped away from

the pulpit, but he was back again as the collection was still making its way around.

“$he lord has blessed us,” he started. “$wo of our young people have faced a harrowing ordeal and

have been guided through it with our lord8s help. I’m sure it was the lord who gave young #alvin ;aker the

courage to face those flames to save $aylor. I’m also sure that his parents had a hand in that also. $hey taught

him right from wrong. $hey showed him by eample, if not with words, that you helped who was in need.”

#laps broke into his speech and he paused until it died down.

“+hatever circumstances there were that brought him to that place, at that time, knew that he

wouldn’t shrug the duty that he knew he had to carry out in shaving that young lady,” he paused again for

another round of applause. I even got a pat on my back from someone sitting behind of mind. "y skin crawled

and I pulled away from their hand.

“#alvin>” my mom hissed in surprise net to me. I couldn’t look at her. I didn’t look up as the priest

started to speak again either.

“I would like to personally and publicly thank him for doing what he did,” then I heard him clapping over

the speakers before people around me started to clap. $his was the first time that they had been able to do

something like this. ' few people shouted and howled but the clapping just grew and it pounded in my head.

$hey had it all wrong. $here was no courage, it was fear. 9ear of my mistake costing someone their life. I

didn’t just happen to be passing by. I was the there the entire time. It was the faith that my parents had in me

and not me in :od that caused me not to think twice about getting her out. $hey did raise me. $hey knew that I

was a good person. $hey knew I was honest.

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I stood, the clapping went up a notch.

“I started the fire.” no one heard me. I barely heard me. “I 7$'%$E/ $(E 9I%E>”

$ears ran down my face as the building fell -uiet.

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a hero's lie

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