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A Fright To Remember

It’s the annual Enquiry Awards with the standard fashion show and bachelor auction with all proceeds going to the homeless, and everyone is excited about the season. Carol is modeling one of Jonny’s designs as is Candy as usual. Marisa is receiving an award and Steve is also there to make sure the

show runs smoothly. But all goes wrong in the middle of the fashion show and everyone has a Fright to Remember.

Characters

Maggie the cleaning lady who lives in the basement of the awards auditorium. She lived on the streets for years but has just landed herself this job. But old habits die hard. She still carries her belongings with her in bags. She’s hot to trot and out for a good time, but who is she….really? and what does she really want?

Motive: To protect Jonny from Liz, Marisa and Steve’s plan

Elizabeth Taylor – Owner of the Fashion Agency – A stealthy business

woman. She’s very sure of herself and can be quite motherly at times, but downright nasty at others. She likes her prescription meds and uses every excuse to take some…after all she’s worked hard to make this agency a success…she should get something out of it.. She likes others to share her addiction and often pushes meds on them. Liz and Anita have been business rivals for many years.

Motive: Steve is trying to force her to merge with Anita’s company and she doesn’t want to. He has run her company into the ground.

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Carol Burnette - Jonny’s sister and Liz’s secretary. Carol is a bit of a

misfit and not sure of herself. She looks up to Liz for guidance. She loves to gossip a lot and this is very apparent when mingling with the guests. Marisa is a good source of gossip for her, as are Liz and Steve. She and Jonny stick together through thick and thin since all

they have is each other. Motive: Steve is very mean to her and she’s tired of

being trampled by him. Jonny Burnette– Flamboyant fashion designer and master of ceremonies

for the fashion show. Jonny is Carol’s brother. He is very protective of Carol since all they have is each other. He tends to ramble on and on about things. He is very flamboyantly gay and very paranoid, both of these characteristics are very strong in his personality.

Motive:Steve has a plan to kill Jonny and Jonny suspects that. Jonny is also very protective of his sister.

Steve Rippemoff – Entertainment lawyer. He’s a creepy typical lawyer who’s just out for a buck. He’s cold and calculated and he can’t be trusted. He talks down to most of the people who cross his path but especially those who may be a little intimidated by him. He is always angling for business at any expense. He works for Liz’s agency. He is trying to force Marisa to kill Jonny. He comes up with two great ideas to get Liz’s company out of the red….they could get Marisa to kill Jonny for his royalties

Copyright A Fright To Remember, by Murder For Hire 2006. All Rights

Reserved.

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SCENE 1

PLAY CUE 1 HK1 – CELL PHONE WARNING (ONLY IF DIRECTED) Jonny: Welcome everyone to a very special evening. Oh, look at

you all…you look fabulous. Well really you don’t but you did your best. I hope you’re all ready for a fantastic evening.

As usual, we will be holding our annual bachelor auction with all proceeds going to, to...line?

Carol: going to the homeless… Jonny: with all proceeds going to the hopeless. Carol: The HOMELESS. Jonny: Sorry, with all proceeds going to the homeless. And then of

course, the unveiling of my latest designs (excited). I’ve been working on this line for some time now and it’s absolutely fabulous. You’re about to see some designs that are just…. to

die for. (emphasis on “to die for”) Liz….. Liz: Thank you Jonny. Well let’s not waste time, let’s get on with

the show shall we. (to the room) Shall we start with Jonny’s designs or the bachelor auction?

Jonny: Well let’s get right to the good part (indignantly)

…(changing tone to cheeky)…. the bachelor auction. Liz: Alright then, so, without further ado may I please have

bachelor number one up here. PLAY CUE 2

AUD 1: (COMES UP) Liz: And what’s your name? AUD 1: ___________

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Liz: Welcome ___________, Now ladies…. and gentlemen too (motioning to Jonny), this is ______ and ______has offered himself this evening to help raise money for the homeless.

Your evening with ______ will include dinner, dancing and of

course a night cap at your place. All of this at _____ expense no less.

Now before you start bidding on this promising evening with

our handsome bachelor let me tell you a bit more about him. ___________ has just recently become an eligible bachelor

following a rather unpleasant ordeal in connection with the Local Psychiatric Hospital – but we won’t go into that. When I asked _________ if he were ice cream, what flavour would he be, he said “Cherry Garcia…..because he’s not dead after all these years.” (Liz is confused by the comment)

He comes from a very influential family from Toronto and is

looking to settle down.

Now, who would like to start the bidding? Carol: I’ll make this bachelor’s day and open the bidding at $100.00. Liz: Thank you Carol, now do I hear $200? AUD 2: I’ll give you five bucks, that’s about all he’s worth. Now

____________ get down from there, you’re no bachelor.

PLAY CUE 3

Liz: Oh dear. (embarassed) Let’s take a short break for now.

(flustered) We’ll be back with more bachelors and with

Jonny’s designs shortly. (she leaves the podium and busies

herself with her notes until next line)

(Immediately following Liz’s line Jonny seeks out Steve and calls to him

from across the room)

Jonny: Excuse me Mr. Rippemoff, do you have a minute?

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Steve: Yes Jonny, what is it? (annoyed by Jonny’s interruption) Jonny: (Nervously) Well it’s just that I never got a copy of the

contract for these latest designs. Steve: Oh Jonny, don’t be such a worry wart. The contract is really

just a formality. Jonny: That’s what you said the last time. Not only didn’t I get a

copy of that contract, but I still haven’t been paid for the last line either.

Steve: Listen Jonny. The agency is going through a bit of a rough

patch right now. I thought I explained that to you before? As long as the government is investigating the agency, our bank account will stay frozen.

Jonny: Well you did explain it, but I’m not sure I understand why the

accounts are frozen. Does it have anything to do with me.

(paranoid) Steve: (shaking his head in annoyance) No it has nothing to do with

you Jonny. None of us understand it, but I told you when they finish their investigation they’ll confirm what I’ve been saying all along. There is nothing fishy about our agency and everything is above board.

Jonny: okay, but it’s just….well there are other agencies out there

who are willing to pay for my designs and if I didn’t feel such loyalty to Liz and Carol, well… I’d have to take my work elsewhere.

(Liz returns to conversation)

Liz: Yes Jonny, I know. Don’t worry that won’t be necessary.

Once things settle down at the agency and we get back to business, you’ll get paid, I promise.

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Jonny: I’m sorry Liz. I didn’t mean for you to hear that. It’s just that well, you know….he’s always against me….everyone’s always against me but especially Steve.

Liz: That’s okay Jonny. (condescendingly and humouring him) I

understand. (Turning to speak to Steve) Steve, what is happening with Jonny’s contracts for his latest lines? Afterall,

his contracts have nothing to do with the agency’s files. Steve: (defensively) We talked about this Liz. The agency needs to

sort things out before we commit to anything else. You knew that before Jonny gave you this line. Besides Liz, after tonight his contracts will really be moot, won’t they? (Jonny

overhears this comment and is perplexed by it)

Liz: Alright, alright. (turning back to Jonny) Jonny, don’t you

worry, we’ll get this all sorted out soon. (Liz & Steve continue their conversation as they walk away. )

PLAY CUE 4

FACE CUE 4A

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SCENE 2

PLAY CUE 4.1

Jonny: Ladies and gentlemen, the moment you’ve all been waiting for, The 2017 Enquiry Awards.

The first award of the evening is Best Supporting Actress. And

the nominees are: Sheila Blige for her role in “Bear Feet” Anita Mann for her role in “Animosity Galore”

Marisa Tomei for her role in “Spare Parts” Amber Green for her role in “Fine Lines” And the winner is …PLAY CUE 6

Marisa Tomei for her role in Spare Parts. Marisa comes up to the stage

Marisa: I don’t know what to say. I have waited for this day for long

time, and I thought I vas prepared, but you never really know what you will do until situation comes up. Anyway, I know I

would not have made it had I never been to Elizabeth Taylor. Thank you Liz, and of course Steve. And Jonny, since without him, I could not have shone above rest. And of course none of this could have been possible without support of my friends. Thank you.

Marisa returns to her seat

Jonny: Thank you Marisa. Now we’ll be back with more awards later

in the evening. AUD 3: Excuse me Mr. Burnette, where do you get your inspiration

from for your designs?

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Jonny: My inspiration, well sometimes I get a feeling in the middle of

the night and, well…..I just let my imagination run wild. I must say, this is a lovely ensemble you’re wearing. Who is the designer?

AUD 3: (responds)

Jonny: Mmmhm, let me get a look at you…turn around. (allowing time for AUD to model his outfit) Carol: You know Jonny, not everyone is as interested in fashion as

you are. Leave the poor guests alone. (shaking her head at

Jonny, and sending Aud back to seat ). I’m sorry Jonny. It looks like I’ve gotten you involved in a bit of a mess here with the agency and your designs?

Jonny: It’s not your fault Carol. Liz helped me out when no one had

ever heard of me or my designs and I have you to thank for

that, and just because my designs are so successful now doesn’t mean I can just forget what she did for me when no one had heard of me. I owe it to her to stand by her when things are rough for her agency.

Carol: You’re a good boy Jonny. (putting her arm around his

shoulders in comfort) Mom would be proud. Jonny: I hope so. I miss her Carol, don’t you? Carol: Of course I do. (Pause) Oh, there’s Liz…Wait here, I’ll see

what I can do.

(Carol calls over to Liz from across the room) Carol: (catching up with Liz) Liz, is there no way you could at least

provide Jonny with the signed contracts, you know, to put his mind at ease? He works hard and I’d hate to see him take his designs elsewhere.

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Liz: I’m going to tell you the same thing I told Jonny. Carol: ….and that would be? Liz: That we’ll sort it out as soon as we can. Carol, this is not an

easy business you know. We have a few different ventures we’re working on and when they pan out we’ll take care of

Jonny. And besides, eventually the accounts will be released and all of the other ventures won’t matter anyway.

Carol: I hope so Liz. (becoming angry) Jonny deserves better than

this. He’s been nothing but loyal to you and your agency. Liz: (offended and defensive) Listen to me Carol. Your brother

would be on the streets if it wasn’t for me. I gave him his fame. You ought to be more grateful, and so should he. (angrily) If you’re not careful, you’ll both end up on the streets….which is where you both really belong anyway.

Carol: (becomes nervous at the idea and concedes) Okay Liz,

you’re right. I’m sorry. The last thing I want is to lose my job too.

Liz: I know I’ve said good secretaries are hard to find Carol, and

while that may be true, others might be more appreciative of the job. (she storms off)

(Jonny catches up with Carol) Jonny: I know I owe her for a lot Carol, and she has been good to

both of us, but really, I’m starting to think she’s taking us both for granted. She may have given me my first chance, but right now, my designs are the only thing she and this agency

have. Carol: I know Jonny, but let’s not get all worked up about it. I’ll talk

to her again next week after the Green Valley deal goes through.

Jonny: The Green Valley deal?

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(Steve approaches just then)

Steve: Yes Jonny, the Green Valley deal. It’s not for public

information at this stage and in fact, Carol was told not to discuss it with anyone, weren’t you Carol.

Carol: Yes Mr. Rippemoff, I know but it’s just Jonny. He won’t say anything.

Steve: I don’t care who it is. You were told that confidentiality was

of the utmost importance. You do know what confidential means don’t you Carol? (sarcastically)

Jonny: Carol was just trying to help. There’s no need to speak to her

like that. Steve: And who do you think you’re speaking to? Aghh (throwing

hands down and smirking - surprised at Jonny standing up

to him.) You’re right Jonny. I apologize Carol. I’m sure

you’re very bright.….(turning to Jonny) right Jonny (sarcastically)?

Jonny: Right. (indignantly and proud of his courage)

( Jonny & Carol leave together whispering to each other)

Marisa enters

Steve: Ah, Marisa, there you are. Marisa: Steve, I haven’t seen you all evening. Where have you been

hiding?

Steve: Oh not hiding – just busy. Listen did you give some thought to

that proposal we spoke about? Marisa: I did. I’m not sure it’s a good idea. If it doesn’t play out the

way you planned, it’ll cost me my career.

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Steve: Who are you kidding Marisa? You’re getting close to the end of your rope already. Really, you have nothing to lose.

Marisa: Steve dear, that’s no way to get something you want from

someone. You really need to work on your social skills. Steve: It’s just….we don’t have much time. If we’re going to go

through with the plan, we have to get started soon. Marisa: I understand that. I’m just not sure this ceremony is the right

one. Let me think about it and have a look at things back stage. Steve: Alright, but if we don’t do it tonight, we may not get another

crack at it. Marisa: I’ll keep that in mind. In the meantime, why don’t you buy me

a drink. (They wander to the bar.)

PLAY CUE 7

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FADE 7A

SCENE 3

Liz: Okay, it’s time to get on with our bachelor auction. If we

could have Bachelor number two up here. PLAY CUE 8 (He

comes up.) And your name is?

AUD 4: ________________ Liz: ______ comes from Nantucket where he lives with his aging

grandmother and his sister. _____ _______ enjoys spending time at Bingo, internet dating sites, and needlepoint, and (incidentally) he’s been cleared of all the charges from that little incident last year with his computer. When I asked him if he were ice cream, what flavour would he be, he said “Rocky Road” and well, I guess that answer speaks for itself. The lucky lady who wins an evening with _________ can also look forward to dinner, dancing and a nightcap, however this date will be at your expense.

Now who would like to start the bidding? Maggie: I’ll give you a dollar. Liz: Okay, we have a dollar. Do I hear two dollars? (sounding

disappointed)

Carol: I suppose I could spare two dollars. Hahaha Liz: Well, ______this is going well so far. What do you think? Now we have two dollars. Do I hear three?

Maggie: I’ll give ya $3.00 Liz: $3.00 it is. Anyone else? Do I hear $4.00?, No, going once,

twice, sold to? Maggie: My name’s Maggie. Hey, ___________get a load of these.

(shakes boobs). Come on let’s go to the bar. You can start by

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buying this lady a drink. PLAY CUE 9 Here, fill this up will ya (Hands him mickie bottle in a bag as they leave together.)

Liz: Well that wraps up the bachelor auction. Thank you to

everyone who was kind enough to participate. (emTomeiassed at the failure of the auction, she skulks off

and is immediately approached by Steve)

Marisa: Three dollars Liz…that’s not gonna do much for the agency is

it? Liz: (Nervous) Well the money raised is going to charity, not the

agency. Marisa: Oh yes, of course. Listen Liz, this scheme you and Steve have

cooked up – is it the only way to go? Liz: I’ve tried everything else I can think of. Times are just tough

right now for the show business industry. No one knows that better than you and let’s face it, if I don’t give you work, at

your age…..no one else is going to. You really don’t have any option but to help us.

Marisa: Yes, I suppose you’re right. No one’s banging down my door

with job offers. Liz: Trust me, if things go down tonight the way we talked about

none of us will have to worry about money again. Marisa: You’re sure we can get away with it? Liz: Nothing’s ever a sure thing Marisa, but yes, I think this plan is

as good as it will get.

Marisa: Okay, I’m in. Liz: Good. (Jonny is passing by just then and overhears)

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Jonny: What’s good? (paranoid) Liz: oh, we were just saying that, ummm, that the turnout out for

the show was good, right Steve. Marisa: That’s right. Jonny it looks like you’ve done it again.

Jonny: (Sarcastically and doubtingly) For whatever that’s worth.

(He continues on his way) (He leaves and so does Marisa)

(Steve approaches Liz)

Steve: So then Liz is everything in place? Is Marisa and ready and

she knows what to do? Liz: Yes, I believe so.

Steve: Good, and she knows she’s to do it when we wrap things up at the end of the show?

Liz: Yes. Now can we just not talk about it. The whole thing

makes me feel ill. I’ll be glad when it’s all over. Steve: (shrugs with a cavalier attitude) Whatever helps you sleep at

night….it’s all the same to me. Liz: You really are full of great ideas aren’t you Steve. (becoming

frustrated)

Steve: What do you mean?

Liz: Well, this scheme for starters (motioning to the stage area)

and your other great idea the Green Valley Deal. Steve: (getting angry) Listen, I’ve now come up with two ways of

getting your failing company out of the red. I don’t hear any ideas coming from you.

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Liz: (now she’s getting angry) Wait just a minute Steve, why

should I come up with a solution, it wasn’t my crooked dealings that caused the problems in the first place.

Steve: Perhaps not, but you were happy to share in the profits at the

time weren’t you?

Liz: Ugh…. (she storms off) (Steve shrugs and leaves too)

PLAY CUE 10

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FADE CUE 10A

SCENE 4

Jonny: Ladies and gentlemen, the moment you’ve all been waiting

for, my 2011 Spring Collection.

PLAY CUE 11

PLAY CUE 12 IF APPROPRIATE (FADE 11A IS AUTOMATIC)

PLAY 13 (FADE 12A IS AUTOMATIC)

Aud 6: (Comes out in first gown – walks runway and back to top of

stage) Jonny: First we have ________________, who’s wearing this

fabulous number. This design exhibits bold colors and a uniqueness that is captivating and will make men fall to your feet.

It looks like _____________ is going to have a great future in

modeling…..(making eyes) and not a bad behind either. (let

model strut his stuff, don’t cut him short - wait for Carol to

appear)

Carol is coming up next in a design which she and I

collaborated on when Carol saw a design in a window. We call it Draped in Gold.

Marisa is wearing my next design. I call it, Evening in

Paradise. You ladies will be the centre of attention no matter where you wear this lovely and enchanting gown.

(Steve, Liz & Carol are all watching close by. So is Maggie)

Thank you Marisa.

(Lights go out as Marisa is back to top of stage)FADE 13A

Jonny: What’s going on? There’s more to come.

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(Total chaos as everyone is milling around and asking what’s happening.

Gunfire is heard. Liz drops photo on the floor.

Maggie: Turn the lights back on (Lights come on and Steve is on the

floor)

Liz: (looking around taking in the scene and finally spotting Steve

on the floor) Oh my god, Steve, what is it? (She runs to his

side to examine him) Oh my god, I think he’s dead!

PLAY CUE 14

Marisa: What happened? Liz: I would think you would know Marisa. You know, he wasn’t

forcing you to do anything…you had your choice? Marisa: That’s where you’re wrong. I didn’t have a choice, but you

weren’t there, you don’t know what he said to me.

Liz: So you killed him? Marisa: No, I didn’t kill him. I don’t know who did this. It would seem

to me that Jonny had the most reason. Jonny: Me, why would I want to kill Steve? Liz: Because he wasn’t paying you…and, he wasn’t giving you your

contracts when you asked for them. Jonny: (defensively) Well neither were you Liz, and you’re still here.

Carol: That’s right. But Liz, what about you. Isn’t it all because of Steve’s schemes that your agency is under government investigation in the first place? You probably have more reason that anyone to kill him.

Liz: It looks like any one of us could have done it. Why don’t we

all settle down and look at it sensibly. We’ll collect anything

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that might be evidence. Let’s see what Steve had in his pockets. There’s some paper here…looks like your contracts Jonny – with no signatures though, sorry.

Liz: (becoming nervous and avoiding answering) It looks like any

one of us could have done it. Why don’t we all settle down and look at it sensibly. We’ll collect anything that might be

evidence. Let’s have a look and see what Steve has in his pockets.

There’s some paper here…looks like your contracts Jonny –

with no signatures though, sorry. Liz: (finding photo on the floor and picking it up) Look at this

photo? It looks like….is this you Carol… with Jonny? Who is this with you?

Carol: (Carol grabs photo curiously) Where did this come from? Liz: It was right there, on the floor.

(taking the photo back) I’ll keep it for now Carol, it could be

evidence, and Marisa, you’re clutching that purse of yours very tightly. I’ll have a look at it too please (she grabs it and

looks inside and looks at Marisa with acknowledgement of

the contents…i.e. a gun).

Now all of you people who witnessed this murder can help us

as well. Come up and have a look at the body and at the evidence.

PLAY CUE 15

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FADE 15A

DENOUEMENT

Liz: Alright everyone, you’ve all had a chance to look at the body

and at the evidence. You‘ve all given your opinions as to what happened to Steve Rippemoff. Now let’s see if we can

figure out what really happened. I still say that Marisa is the most likely suspect because she

really didn’t want to be involved in the plan Steve had. Marisa: Wait a minute Liz, it was as much your plan as it was Steve’s. Liz: I was only going along with him. It was his idea. Marisa: Well I wasn’t going along with it. He was an awful man and I

wasn’t going to do his dirty work for him. Liz: So, you killed him?

Marisa: That’s ridiculous, killing is exactly what I wasn’t willing to do.

But Carol didn’t like Steve. He treated her badly all the time. Maybe she got tired of it and decided to do him in. Or Jonny for that matter. Maybe you didn’t like the way he spoke to your sister, or the way he treated both of you.

Jonny: I didn’t like the way he spoke to my sister, or the way he

treated us, but I wouldn’t have killed him over it. Carol: (coming to her brother’s defence) That’s right, Jonny is a

good boy. He was raised to always do the right thing.

Liz: Raised by who? You were both on the streets when we found you..

Maggie: That’s right Miss Fancy Pants. But just cause you don’t have

lots of money and fancy clothes doesn’t mean you ain’t worth anything.

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Liz: Who are you?

(Carol and Jonny look at each other)

Maggie: Who am I? Who am I? ……. I’m their mother. That’s right.

Maybe they was raised on the streets, but they was raised right. They never lied, or cheated or stole. Not like that Steve

over there. Jonny: Mom? Carol; What happened to you. We thought you were dead… I didn’t

even recognize you. Maggie: That’s what thirty years on the streets does to you, and I owe

it all to him. That rat is you two’s daddy. He walked out on me when you’s were both babies.

Carol: So that horrible man is my father.

Jonny: That wolf in cheap clothing? Maggie: That’s right. He didn’t care about you then and he didn’t care

about you now. Carol: What are you talking about now? Maggie: Fancy pants, why don’t you tell them what I’m talking about? Liz: I’m sorry, I’m afraid I’m gonna have to ask you to leave. We

don’t allow vagrants in this establishment. Maggie: Not so fast. I work here now so I can stay. Why don’t you

tell them what you were up to with Steve. Marisa: Yes Liz, go ahead, tell them. Liz: Marisa, what’s wrong with you? We should be sticking

together here.

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Marisa: Sorry Liz, but you were about to send me down the river. And, then, the two of you were trying to make me do your dirty work. I don’t owe you anything.

Jonny: What’s she talking about Liz? Maggie: Come on Liz, tell them, cause if you don’t I will.

Maggie: (To Jonny and Carol). They planned to kill Jonny before

giving him the signed contracts. That way they would never have to pay him for the last two collections and if he died before contracts were signed, his estate wouldn’t get it either.

Carol: of course, and like any artist, Jonny’s designs would have shot

through the roof in value once he was dead. Jonny: Oh, I feel faint. Liz: It was all Steve’s idea. He thought that the royalties from

these two collections would be plenty of money.

Jonny: And what about that government investigation? What was

that all about? Liz: Just another one of Steve’s get rich quick schemes that didn’t

work out the way he planned. Maggie: The story of his life. Well it looks like this plan didn’t work

out right either. I overheard him talking about the plan with Liz. He already ruined my life. I had nothing left to lose. So I killed him. (she pulls gun out of bag).

Carol: But now what?

Maggie: Well as warm as prison cells are, I don’t want to spend what I

have left in one. So I’ve got a proposal for you folks. (to Marisa and Liz) You don’t turn me in for killing this louse, and I don’t give the police the evidence they’re looking for in your files.

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Liz: What do you know about the files? Maggie: Listen Miss Fancy Pants, do you think I’m gonna put all my

eggs in one basket? Not only do I know about the files, but I also know about the scheme the two of you had conjured up with Steve to kill my boy and keep his royalties. So what do you say you sign these contracts right now, and we just all go

back to our happy little lives without Steve? Carol: I think it’s a good idea. I sure don’t want to see you go to

prison Mom. Liz: Fine. (she signs the contracts and hands them over.)

Jonny: Thanks, and now that I have my signed contracts, we don’t need you Liz. Come on Carol, Mom.

(the three of them leave together)

Liz: Well Marisa, where does that leave us? Liz: Well Marisa,

where does that leave us? Marisa: What’s this “us” stuff? Do you have a mouse in your handbag?

(Marisa leaves)

Liz looks in her handbag and and she leaves too.

PLAY CUE 16

FADE 16A

THE END

RESUME 16B

FADE 16C