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A Deep Desire for the Truth

Written by Sen on June 17th, 2011

For most people life is just about crisis management. Look back upon your life, and ask yourself if the

whole journey till now has been just about problem solving, in most cases the answer would be Yes.

People bring the same attitude towards awakening, their primary objective is how can awakening

solve my problems.

To want a problem free life is very natural, but if you really want liberation you need to look for the truth

for the sake truth, and not for the sake for solving your problems. Do you really want to know the truth, as

it is, even if it meant that you got nothing out of it? Or Do want the truth only so it can solve yourproblems?

In my experience, as long as I looked towards truth to solve my problems, I could never really come

across the truth. When I started looking for the truth purely for the sake of knowing the truth, irrespective

of whether it solved my problems or created more of it, I came to the truth easily. And the truth did solve

my problems, but not the way I imagined.

When I stopped looking for assurances, stopped wanting anything from the truth, I was finally able to see

the truth of who I am. The paradox is that when one is only interested in the truth, without any

consideration for whether it feels good or not, one always comes across the truth easily. And the truthalways sets you free, it liberates you, and ultimately you end up feeling good. But when your only

motivation behind seeking the truth is to feel good, your chances of finding the truth are very slim.

Your only desire should be for the truth and nothing else

So ask yourself Do I authentically want the truth or Am I only looking for another avenue to solve my

problems. The truth will solve all your problems, and your life will be really fine, but you cant come to

the truth when your motivation is only to feel good. Coming to the truth involves going through the fear

of realizing your emptiness, and this can be quite terrifying in many cases, so if your primary focus is to

just feel good you will shrink away as soon as something fearful comes up.

The Ego wants assurances. The Ego wants to know if everything will be alright. The Ego wants to know

the truth so that it can use it to make life better for itself. Unfortunately the Ego can never get the truth.

This whole process of coming to the truth is about annihilation of all that in you which is not true, and

the Ego is not true. So the Ego has to exit the premise before truth can come into the foreground. The

Ego is only concerned with feeling good, so there needs to be something in you that is willing to seek the

truth beyond the Egos need.

The Ego will get nothing out of the truth

Truth is not a concept to be gained by the Ego. The truth is not here to enhance the Ego and take it to a

higher place of living. If anything, the truth will tear the Ego apart and shred it to pieces, because the Ego

is the veil that keeps the truth from shining through. So its time you ask yourself if you want the truth for

eep Desire for the Truth http://www.calmdownmind.com/a-deep-desire-for-the-truth/

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truths sake, or is this just another venture to feel good?

Remember that the truth will liberate you, and make you free of suffering, but you cant come to the truth

as long as you are not willing to be fully open to it. Truth cannot be gained as per your convenience; it has

to be allowed to come through in its own terms. If there is a deep desire in you to know the truth of

existence, only so you can really know the truth, and no other hidden agenda, you will be surprised at

how easily the truth starts coming forth.

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3 comments

nvibessays:

April 7, 2012 at 4:38 am

The Ego is only concerned with feeling good you cant come to the truth when your

motivation is only to feel good

I get this and then i dont get this. Im confused between uncomfortable feelings inside me

warning me that something is not right, that I need to protect myself in some way (and Im

becoming better at this, before I was in denial of the truth- wanting to believe that everyone is

good, not seeing my own dark ways), and the feeling of discomfort when I am facing a challenge i.e. not feeling confident, not feeling self assured, feeling out of my depth but deep inside not

feeling I should leave, that theres a lesson to be learnt.

Im confused as to whether this feeling of not feeling good is related to the ego, or if its a sign that

Im not aligned with my path shouldnt we always feel confident when we are aligned with our

true path?

What are the symptoms of ego discomfort versus the symptoms of not being aligned with your

true path?

Reply

Sensays:

April 8, 2012 at 10:39 am


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nvibes, actually the pointer of you cant come to the truth when your motivation is only to

feel good is for people who suppress the release of past negativity because they are fearful

of allowing this energy, by truth I just mean your natural vibration or inner wholeness. You

cannot come to inner wholeness unless you release the past negativity consciously, and the

only way you can release it is by allowing it the space in your awareness when it arises so

during this phase if your motivation is only to feel good, or blissed out, you will immediately

get afraid when the negativity arises for a release, or you will imagine that you are doing

something wrong. During this detox phase, its best to not cling to high and just allow thelow-vibration energies to release as they come up. As the detox phase comes to an end you

will be towards the end of the negative cycle and your predominant vibration will be rooted

in wholeness/joy because there is no resistance present but to get to this place one needs to

be allowing of the release first.

Actually the part of you thats trying to over-analyse the release is just the fearful mind,

which is what I would call the fearful ego. There is no need for any analysis, when the

negativity arises just stay allowing of it in a space of open awareness, thats all thats needed.

This release will break down any forced behavior on you part, whether its you trying to be

a nice person or if its you trying to keep a distance, these are both strategies of the mindwhich does not allow you to be authentic to the moment. Sometimes compassion requires

that you let a person deal with his/her suffering on their own, sometimes compassion requires

that you be with them, the mind cannot really know whats the right thing to do because its

always moving from a place of fear. So at this point, you can just stay allowing of your own

negativity, which arises, allow your mind momentum to keep reducing, and in this release

you will come to an inspiration or solution on what you should be doing, actually if you are

totally allowing you will be moved into the right action without even needing to contemplate

it.

nvibessays:April 7, 2012 at 5:00 am

Sorry, another question related to my last one!

I can sense myself feeling better about myself when I feel loving and caring towards others, but I

feels very uncomfortable when I have no feeling of love and care for someone, especially when

they are in need. And Im not sure if this is just to do with my ego wanting to feel good about itself

or something deeper?

I know love is not just about good feelings, but when I feel blocked towards feeling naturally loving

towards others, it concerns me because I cannot tell if its something to do with my own

resistances/issues (e.g. jealousy, fearing someones growing sense of power) I havent yet dealt with

or whether this block is truthful? In the past Ive tried to override similar feelings, thinking there

was something wrong with me/something in me I needed to deal with.

Its not that I dont care, I do, I guess the action I think is necessary is not fluffy or warm or

affectionate or caring its to block someone from attaching to me too much because I think they

are strong in themselves, they just havent realised it, and also in their feeling of unworthiness

could end up using me. It just feels so wrong to do this, to push someone away esp being a close

family member when I know they have nowhere else to turn to (because they keep coming back).

Do I allow them to stay and simply stay allowing of all the negative feelings being brought up in

me, or am I trying to do the right thing that makes my ego feel good? But the right thing

doesnt feel good it doesnt feel right to keep blocking and ignoring someone. Im just really


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confusedperhaps Im looking for a clear solution when there isnt one

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experience they...

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