A Strategy for Full Contentment / By Marianna Koos MSc.D

Research confirms that making money and reaching a goal do not achieve long-lasting happiness, but great experiences significantly contribute to our overall sense of meaning. Psychologists have proposed three aspects: significance, purpose and coherence that are correlated with good mental health, success at work and at home, and longevity. They claim that life is meaningful when it feels important, when it seems to have a point and when it makes rational sense.

Great thinkers have already warned us that when seeking happiness, do not rely on worldly goods. Have we listened? It doesn’t appear that way. Most of us in our developed societies buy more goods and consume more of our world’s precious resources than we need and should, often beyond our means on credit or at the expenses of others and yet we still do

not seem to be content. The devastating numbers of addictions and all the stress related disorders provide evidence for our current mental states, namely the absence of our emotional stability and balance. We all want to be happy and seek permanence and consistency in feeling contented and satisfied with the life we live, but very few of us are able to achieve such. The reason for this is mostly about our ability to know what our purpose in life is, and then of course what sacrifices we need to make to put meaning into our lives. Often we dismiss the importance of turning inward rather than outward to find the emotional balance we search for.

Materialistic things do not makes us happy, but great experiences do. Spending our money on experiences, not goods, mainly those that have the equally important aspects of purpose and significance clearly increase our long-term contentment. By experience, I mean the emotions related to the process to achieve a goal, either it is climbing a mountain or getting a doctoral degree. It is scientifically proven that the anticipation of a reward often gives us more joy, than the reward itself. In other words, it is not the destination that matters it is the journey to get there that we often forget or ignore.

One of my greatest experiences is climbing ‘her majesty’, Kilimanjaro. When I think of this adventure I do not associate it with standing on ‘Top of Africa”. It is significant, however it is not the most important aspect of my experience at all. The actual journey to get to the summit of Kilimanjaro is what will stay with me,

as long as I live. It remains an extraordinary experience and the memories of such could never be taken away from me. Spending on experiences is clearly more rewarding than buying goods, and greatly contributes to achieve a content mental state. Kilimanjaro is part of who I am today, and a good example of money wisely spent on an experience that supersedes buying an iPhone, another pair of shoes, and some gadgets.

Some well-known figures claim that we just simply need to think of being happy in order to be happy. Although there is merit in thinking that we do have the mental power to become happy if we choose to, we all know that happiness just simply cannot be forced. Studies have shown that trying to feel happier in a given moment backfires, actually making people feel worse. By simply paying attention to one’s level of happiness tends to make the glass look half-empty.

So how can we gain the many rewards of happiness? Another effective route, aside from spending on experiences, not goods is to maximize the odds by making a concerted effort to plan our time around activities that we will enjoy. In other words, the idea is to reflect on the activities that bring us contentment or joy and make time for these events in our daily life. This could range from maintaining a tidy office, keeping a daily schedule, having weekly dinners with friends or families, or in my case climbing mountains and cycling daily. The coherence of an ordered life also lays the groundwork for pursuit of larger and thus the equally important aspects of purpose and significance.

We cannot will ourselves into a state of happiness, but we can start spending on experiences, rather on commodities and plan our time around activities that bring us joy. Most importantly, happiness is not about fulfilling the void by something external, it is about turning inward and removing the void by knowing what experiences and daily activities will harvest delight and bliss for us.