A Book on‘Inside-out’ Approach

To InterpersonalEffectiveness

Principle based paradigm shifts

Seven habits – Powerful lessons in personal effectiveness

Change : Inside-out v/s Outside-in

Discussions

Outlines

Paradigm Shifts

Paradigm shifts move us from one way of seeing the world to another

Minor changes in lives can be made by focusing on our attitudes and behaviours; for quantum change we need to work on basic paradigms.

If we want to change the situation, we first have to change ourselves. And to change ourselves effectively, we first have to change our perceptions

Many achieve outward success but continue to struggle with an inner hunger

Skills(How to do it)

Knowledge

(Knowing what to do and why)

Desire(Wanting to do it or motivation

)

. .

.

Habits

Effective Habits

Creating a habit requires working in

all three dimensions

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”Aristotle

PublicVictory

PrivateVictory

Dependence

Independence

Interdependence

7 Habits of Highly Effective People

1 2

3

4

5 6

71. Be Proactive

(Responsibility / Initiative)2. Begin with the End in

Mind (Vision / Values)3. Put First Things First

(Integrity / Execution)4. Think Win-Win (Mutual

Respect / Benefit)5. Seek First To

Understand, Then to Understood (Mutual Understanding)

6. Synergize (Creative Cooperation)

7. Sharpen The Saw (Renewal)

Habit 1 : Be Proactive

As human beings, we are responsible for our own lives

Our behaviour is a function of our decisions, not our conditions

Responsibility = Response + Ability

Freedomto Choose

Self-AwarenessImagination

ConsciousnessIndependent Will

ProactiveStimulus Response

ReactiveStimulus Response

(Heart)(Mind)(Spirit)(Body)

Habit 1 : Be Proactive (Stimulus V/S Response)

Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space lies our freedom and power to choose our response. In those

choices lie our growth and our happiness.

Circle of Concern

Circle of Influence

No Concern

Habit 1 : Be Proactive (Circle of Influence)

Habit 2 : Begin With The End In Mind

All things are created twice

(Mental Creation)Visualization

(Physical Creation)Implementation

Leadership Doing The Right Thing

Management Doing Things Right

Habit 2 : Begin With The End In Mind

We are more in need of a vision or destination and a compass and less in need of a road map

Effectiveness doesn’t depend solely on how much effort we expend, but on whether or not the effort is in the right context

An effective goal focuses primarily on results rather than activity

Nature of visualisation is very important. If one visualizes the wrong thing, then one will produce the wrong thing

Peak performers are visualisers. They see it, they feel it, they experience it before they actually do it.

They begin with the end in the mind

(IV)Productiv

-ity

Linked

(III)Crisis

Related

(II)Interrupt-

ions

(I)Trivial

Activities

.

.

Activitiesƒ Some mail, some calls, time

wasters, pleasant activities

Resultsƒ Total irresponsibility,

dependent on others / institutions for basics

Activitiesƒ Some meetings, some calls,

popular activities

Resultsƒ Short term focus, crisis

management, feel victimized / out of control

Activitiesƒ Pressing problem, Deadline

driven projects

Resultsƒ Stress, Burnout, Crisis

Management, Always putting out fires

Activitiesƒ Prevention, Relationship

building, Recognizing new opportunities, Planning

Resultsƒ Vision, Balance, Control,

Discipline, Few crisis

Urgent Not Urgent

Not

Impo

rtant

Im

porta

nt

Habit 3 : Put First Things First (Time Management Matrix)

•Minimise Quadrant I & II as far as possible•Quadrant IV should be greater than quadrant III•Time saved from quadrant I & II should be invested in IV

Habit 3 : Put First Things First

Time management is really a misnomer – the challenge is not to manage time, but to manage ourselves

Things that matter most must never be at the mercy of things that matter least

Effective people are not problem minded; they are opportunity minded

The key is not to prioritize what is on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities

We have to decide what our highest priorities are and have the courage to say “no” to other things

Lose / Win Win / Win

Win / Lose

Lose / Lose

.

.

High Low

Low

High

Courage

Consideration

Habit 4 : Think Win - Win

People use positions, power, personality, etc

to get their way

This involves self awareness, imagination,

independent will and relationship with others

People are usually quick to please or

appease

People are blind to everything except their

desire for the other person to lose, even if it means losing themselves

.

Habit 4 : Think Win - Win

Win – win is not a technique but a frame of mind and heart that constantly seeks mutual benefit in all human interactions

Such solutions / agreements are mutually beneficial and satisfying

Win- win is based on the belief that there is a plenty for everyone (Abundance Mentality)

Success achieved in win-win paradigm is not at the expense or exclusion of the success of others

This approach is co-operative, not competitive

Habit 5 : Seek First To Understand, Then To Be Understood(Levels of Listening)

Attentive

Selective

Pretending

Ignoring

EmpathicLevels of Listening

Within One’s Own Frame of Reference

Within The Other’s Frame of Reference

Habit 6 : Synergize

Synergy is the principle of creative cooperation where the whole is greater than the sum of its parts.

Ecology basically describes synergism in nature where everything is related to everything else.

Desire to Grow

MaintainStatus Quo

.Habit 6 : Synergize (Developing v/s Restraining Forces))

Habit 7 : Sharpen The Saw (Renewal)

Renewal

Physical(Exercise, Nutrition, Stress Mgmt.)

Mental(Reading, Visualization,

Planning)

Spiritual(Spiritual reading, Study

Meditation.)

Socio / Emotional(Service, Synergy, Security)

“Don’t aim for success if you want it; just do what you love and believe in,

and it will come naturally.”David Frost

“Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to

success when they gave up.”Thomas Edition

Success comes when youBelieve / see yourself succeedingPursue your passion in lifePrepare self before any opportunityHang-on when others have quit

..Knowing Success

Conclusion

“Each one of us has a fire in our heart for something. It is our goal in life to find it and to keep it lit.”

Mary Retton

“The distance is nothing; it is only the first step that is difficult.”

Marquise Deffand

“Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can

help the man with the wrong mental attitude.”W.W. Ziege

Thank You