a. before session 2: review the prep form & fearbuster ...2/... · fearless living book (flb)...

Coach Certification | Coaching Template: Session 2 :: 1

© 2014 Rhonda Britten, Presented by the Fearless Living Institute

[email protected] | www.FearlessLiving.org | 1.877.663.3270

The Fearless Living Institute

Session 2: What is Fear? Coaching Session Template

A. Before Session 2: Review the Prep Form & Fearbuster Exercises

Has your Client completed and returned the homework?

Fearless Living Book (FLB) CHAPTER ONE

• Fear Journal • Life Story • In the Year to Come • Coaching Session Prep Form

Fearless Living Training Program (FLTP) MODULE ONE

“I Promise”

Fear Journal

Integration Questions

Surviving vs. Thriving

In the Year to Come

Coaching Session Prep Form

B. Before Session 2: Check in with Yourself

Your Fear & Freedom

Are you feeling any Fear around this session?

Where are you hesitating around this session?

Do you have any symptoms of fight, flight, or freeze?

Is this session a Stretch for you? A Risk? A Die?

Do you have any beliefs or filters that are holding you back?

In what ways are you feeling confidence or courage around this session?

How can you be gentle with yourself?

What are you willing to practice?

How can you best support yourself?

Do you have any beliefs or filters that can reinforce your growth?

Possibilities & Vision




What is possible for you during this session?

How could this session support your coaching vision?

Strategies & Support

What can you do to best support yourself during this session?

What tools will you have on hand?

How will you ground yourself if you get triggered?

How can you stay present and avoid getting distracted?

What kind of preparation could help you thrive during this session? A prayer? A touchstone? A mantra?

Action

Move into readiness:

Create an intention to support you in your session. Post it where you can see it.

Prepare yourself and your work space based on your strategies and support needs.

Take a sip of water, a stretch, and/or a deep breath…

…and ENJOY the journey!

C. Before Session 2: Review the Coaching Opportunities

During Session 2, you have the opportunity to…

Introduce Acknowledgements: Begin using Acknowledgements as a way to reinforce and anchor your Client’s risks, insights, awareness, growth, new thoughts/feelings/actions, and all forward movement

Teach and anchor the Stretch-Risk-Die (SRD) tool: SRD helps build confidence through experience SRD helps clarify the Strategies and Support needed to move forward SRD helps Move into Action

Practice using Acknowledgments alongside SRD

Coach with a commitment to clarify Fear, and build a foundation of how it affects your Client’s life: Clarify Fear-based filters/perceptions Clarify common fight/flight/freeze Fear responses Clarify Willingness




Clarify which area of your Client’s life will be the focal point of the coaching process

Review any agreements, ground rules, and/or boundaries: Was all homework complete and submitted on time? Are there any logistical questions from last time?

Create your Intention for the session: What are you willing to practice?

Opening Session 2: Start by Coaching!

NOTE: Remember that coaching is a process. You will NOT get through everything on this template during your session. Prioritize and look for topics to organically arise. Keep in mind that these questions are only suggestions. They are designed to be a guideline as you learn and develop your own coaching style. The goal is for sessions to flow from a place of natural instinct and intuition. Ultimately you will not be following a script. This template is for you to lean on only as you grow your skills.

Remember to start the recording for your session.

This is (your name), here with (Client’s name) for Session 2, on (date). Are you ready to get started, (Client’s name)? Great. Let’s go...

Introduce Acknowledgements Acknowledge the Client for honoring one of your Coaching Agreements (such as getting the homework to you on time) or for completing the work they did on the Fearbuster Exercises: “I want to acknowledge you for...”

You’ll hear me use that word a lot...”Acknowledgment”. It’s one of the main Fearless Living tools that we will use during our sessions together.

When I acknowledge you for forward movement or a risk, it’s external validation. In Fearless Living, we want you to begin to acknowledge yourself – that’s internal validation.

Acknowledgements are all about you and your process. It will help you in your growth to acknowledge every time that you practice being Fearless.




In Fearless Living we have a specific format for Acknowledgements. It goes, “Today I acknowledge myself for ... “

Can you acknowledge yourself for something that you did for today’s session? “Today I acknowledge myself for...”?

Good work. You will hear me ask you to acknowledge yourself regularly during our sessions so start thinking about how you’d acknowledge yourself for new insights, awarenesses, risks you take – any forward motion in your Fearless Journey that’s outside of your Comfort Zone – even if it just feels like a baby step forward.

What do you see as the benefit of Acknowledgments? What’s the downside?

Do you have any questions about Acknowledgments before we continue?

Reinforce logistics from Session 1 (if necessary) If your Client didn’t honor a Coaching Agreement that you made, it is a coaching opportunity and a way for you to reinforce your boundaries: “I want to acknowledge you for being on the call today, and I noticed that...(your Fearbuster Exercises weren’t complete, I didn’t receive your homework on time, etc.)”

What was it that prevented you from...?

Does this seem to happen in other areas of your life?

What has helped you with a similar challenge in the past? It’s very important that we stick to our agreement for me to bets support you. Can that strategy from the past help you now?

Brainstorm other strategies to support success: Is there anything else can you do to support yourself in that? Are you willing to try that? Great. Let’s see how that works for you, and I’ll look forward to checking in with you on it next time.

Can you acknowledge yourself for coming up with that support strategy for yourself? “Today I acknowledge myself for ...”




During Session 2: Review/Teach Stretch-Risk-Die

If your Client didn’t meet the Coaching Agreement, you can use that example to teach Stretch-Risk-Die (SRD). Or you can create a transition. EXAMLE: “As I mentioned, Acknowledgements are going help you recognize when you are being Fearless. In today’s session we want to dive into the topic of Fear and how it affects you. To do that, we’ll be working with a tool called “Stretch, Risk, or Die”, which goes hand-in-hand with Acknowledgements. It will also help you to be more Fearless.” FLTP Client: Ask, “Did you watch the Bonus video about SRD? Fearless Living Book Client: As you move through the explanation of SRD (this is one place that you are allowed and encouraged to TEACH, by the way), have the Client draw the SRD diagram on a sheet of paper as per your directions.

First clarify the area of life that your Client most wants to shift during their coaching sessions. To start with, this can be your focal point for the entirety of Session 2.

“So let’s use your homework to get further into this topic. I was looking at your homework, and especially at the Fearbuster Exercise called ‘In the Year to Come’, where you get to reflect upon all the areas of your life. What did you discover about which area of your life you specifically want to work on during our sessions together?” This might directly relate to the Getting to Know You Questionnaire from last week. If not, you will definitely want to get clarity around which area of life the Client would most like to focus on. “Last week we talked about you wanting __________ results from coaching. How does that relate to this area of life? Can you tell me what that area looks like for you right now? Have you made any recent changes in that area? What you’ve identified, then is your Comfort Zone -- your status quo -- what you normally do. Keep in mind that being in the Comfort Zone might actually feel comfortable – or it can also produce uncomfortable feelings.” Explain or review the other rings of the SRD tool: Stretch: “A Stretch is the first level of Fear – a small step out of your Comfort Zone. It might be something that you’ve avoided doing, but it’s not necessarily something that’s hard to do. In fact, this is something




that you KNOW you can do…you just haven’t done it yet, so this is the place where a lot of beating ourselves up takes place. What would be a Stretch for you in this area of your life?” Risk: “A Risk is the next level of Fear – something that takes courage to accomplish. It usually carries the possibility of rejection and failure. You may not be sure if you are actually capable of accomplishing this thing, though you might really want to, or wish you could. What would be a Risk for you in this area of your life?” Die: “A Die is the level of Fear where it’s so scary that it makes you feel like you’re going to die – whether physically of emotionally speaking. It’s WAY out of your Comfort Zone – so far that you almost can’t even imagine yourself doing it, and you may not even want to. A Die can make you say, “Are you CRAZY? I’d NEVER do that!” What would be a Die for you in this area of your life?”

During Session 2: Coach to Clarify Since you are already using the area of life that your Client most wants to change, it is likely that you will be able to flow right into this next section with a natural segue, and learn about the Fear surrounding that area. Use the following headings from the FLTP and Fearless Living book to help your Client understand how Fear operates in her or his life, and specifically in the area that he or she most wants to change. Again, you will not use all of these topics in one session.

Clarifying What is Fear? (TOP PRIORITY) Support Awareness & Anchoring using your Client’s focus area of life

How is Fear affecting you in this area?

How long has Fear been affecting you in this area?

Do you notice fight, flight, or freeze symptoms when you’re in a situation related to this area?

Where else in your life have you noticed that same sort of Fear coming up for you? How about those same symptoms?

Compare and Contrast Fear & Freedom

Where does Fear show up the most for you in that area?

Was there a time before you had Fear in this area? If so, please explain what that was like.

Where do you feel confident and/or secure in this area?




How does it feel to stay in your Comfort Zone in this area? How would you guess it would it feel to step out of your Comfort Zone and take a Risk?

What would happen to your confidence if you took a Risk? What happens to your confidence if you stay in your Comfort Zone? (REINFORCE the relationship between Risk and confidence. Most people think that we must have confidence to take Risks – but really we must take Risks to build confidence.)


We already outlined an SRD strategy or this area earlier. If you were to choose to take one of those Stretches that you mapped out, what would support you if your Fear came up? What about if you were to choose a Risk? A Die?

Have you ever supported yourself in that way before? How did that work? Where did that support fall short?

Is there any other way you could support yourself?


What could happen if you consciously took a Stretch in that area? A Risk? A Die?

What could your life look like in six months if you took this Risk, plus others on a consistent basis? How about in a year? In five years?

Action

Ask your Client: “Are you willing to take that Stretch, Risk, or Die?”

Keep in mind that when we say “action” we are looking for any forward movement – it might literally be an action, or it can also be a new thought, insight, or awareness. For someone who is in action all of the time, action might even be resting. Everything counts.

NOTE: You might brainstorm more than one SRD during this session for practice and teaching purposes. Be attentive to not overwhelming your Client with action steps.

For chosen action steps, check in with the Client’s willingness to follow through (usually on a scale of 1-10, with 1 being absolutely NOT willing, and 10 being totally 1000% willing).

You can congratulate your Client for his or her SRD work. Then ask for an acknowledgement from your Client for his or her work, brainstorming, insights, willingness, etc.

Note that SRD is your key to action. Whichever ways that you clarify Fear with your Client (through filters, willingness, survival mode), always bring it back to SRD to brainstorm their Fearless actions for the next week. SRD is the #1 Fearless Living tool for this session. It a key component for all sessions, in fact, since without taking Risks, there would be no forward movement.

Clarifying Fear through Willingness & Hesitating/Avoiding (Resistance) Support Awareness & Anchoring using your Client’s focus area of life




Where are you hesitating in this area and choosing to stay in your Comfort Zone? How do you know that you’re hesitating?

What are you avoiding in this area? What are the costs and benefits of avoiding this?

What does your hesitation look like? Procrastination? Defensiveness? Avoidance? Something else?


What is the difference between hesitation, avoidance, and willingness?

How do you define hesitation? Willingness? Avoidance?

How do you know if you’re avoiding something? How do you know if you’re willing?

What have you noticed happens in your life if you hesitate? Avoid?

What generally happens in your life if you are willing to move forward?


What are you willing to do differently in this area? How are you willing to see things in this area differently?

What is your willingness to do that on a scale of 1-10? What is your willingness to have a permanent change happen in this area on a scale of 1-10?

What could happen if your level of willingness were to increase?

How could more willingness affect that area of your life?


What could support you in having more willingness?

Would that be a Stretch, a Risk, or a Die for you?

Clarifying Fear through Perceptions & Filtering Support Awareness & Anchoring using your Client’s focus area of life

What is your understanding of perceptions and filters?

During your work last week, did you uncover any perceptions or filters that are based in Fear? (Examples: Life is hard. People will take advantage of me. It’s me against the world. I have to do it myself to get it done right. Etc.)

How does that filter affect the area of life that you most want to change?

Do you have any filters based in faith or abundance – a Freedom-based belief system? (Examples: Good things come to me. I am provided for. I’m a lucky/blessed person. There’s always enough to go around. Etc.)

On a scale of 1-10, how does your filter affect your life?

How can this information support you in taking Risks and growing?


Explain how you would know if a perception or filter is coming from Fear.




How would you know if a perception or filter helps you be more Fearless?

Which filter(s) make you more willing to grow? Which make you hesitant to change?

Which filter(s) support you in taking Risks? Which filter(s) keep you stuck in your Comfort Zone?


What could happen if you practiced purposely using a filter that helps you be more Fearless and move out of your Comfort Zone?

How could your life change? What would be different for you?

Might you feel different? If so, in what way?


How can you switch gears when you recognize that you are using a Fear-based filter?

How can you practice bringing in your Freedom-based beliefs?

What can support you in using filters proactively? Would that be a Risk for you? What is your willingness on a scale of 1-10?

Clarifying Fear through Surviving versus Thriving Support Awareness & Anchoring using your Client’s focus area of life

For you, what is the difference between truly thriving and just surviving?

What percentage of the time are you in survival mode? Does that mean that you are thriving ______ percent of the time?

In which areas of your life are you most surviving? In which areas are you thriving? Compare and Contrast Fear & Freedom:

How do you know when you’re in survival mode? Where do you feel it in your body? Which fight, flight, or freeze symptoms come up for you? How does your mind filter/perceive things when you are in survival mode?

How do you know when you’re thriving? Where do you feel it in your body? How does your mind filter/perceive things when you are thriving?


This week, are you willing to practice raising your awareness around when you are just surviving and when you are truly thriving?

What can support you in doing that? Would that be a Stretch, a Risk, or a Die for you? What is your willingness on a scale of 1-10?

Closing Session 2: Specifics & Logistics




Anchoring your Client’s work with specifics

Find something specific from the session for which to acknowledge or congratulate your Client. Be relevant, authentic, and real. Keep it focused on your Client’s insights, awareness, and processing. Some examples are listed as follows:

Good work today coming up with your SRDs.

Congratulations on your willingness around _______________. Good for you!

I want to acknowledge you for your willingness to move forward today.

I honor the risk that you took today in being so vulnerable. From what you shared with me, I know that wasn’t easy for you.

Great insight on your Fear-based filters. How do you think that could support you as we move ahead?

ALSO ask your Client to come up with an Acknowledgement for his or her work on the call as well: “Today I acknowledge myself for...”

Bookending the session with logistics

Fearless Living Book

• ASSIGN: Read Chapter 6 (“No Expectations”) Let your Client know that you’ll be assigning chapters in a different order than written, and that you’ll get back to any skipped chapters later. Request that they stick only to what’s assigned for now, without moving ahead of your directions.

• ASSIGN: Complete all Fearbuster Exercises and Session Prep Form Let your Client know that there are Fearbuster Exercises that pop up within the context of most chapters, and that those are a part of the homework process. (You may choose to ask for those to be emailed to you or not.) Also remind your Client that you will be emailing a homework packet to support the deeper integration of this chapter, and that it includes a Coaching Session Prep Form as its last page.

• ASK: “When are we going to meet next?” • ASK: “By when will you email your completed homework back to me?”




Fearless Living Training Program (FLTP)

• ASSIGN: Complete all of Module 2, including all Fearbuster Exercises • ASSIGN: Complete Session Prep Form

You can ask, “Do you still have the blank Session Prep Form from last week?” If so, remind them to fill it out and email it to you. You may want to instead email your Client a new blank

Session Prep form each week. Choose whichever method works best for you. • ASK: “When are we going to meet next?” • ASK: “By when will you email your completed homework back to me?”

Anchoring the session with specifics

Anchor an Action step:

Before we close, remind me of the Stretch, Risk, or Die that you are working on this week. Great – I’ll be so excited to hear how that goes for you on our next call! (Remember, all coaching sessions after this one will begin with you asking your Client about a Risk, so anchoring this action step is important for setting your Client up to succeed.)

Anchor the Session (pick one or create your own):

What’s one thing that you are taking away from this session?

What’s one thing that you learned during this session that can support you in the next week?

What’s your biggest insight from the work this week?

What’s one word for how you are feeling right now as we complete our first call together?

Before we close, do you have any questions for me? Good job! I’ll look forward to our next session at ________ am/pm on ________________.

Remember to stop the recording if need be.

After Session 2: Following Through

• Give yourself THREE acknowledgements out loud immediately

• Complete Client Log and/or Session Summary for your AR




• Fearless Living Book Client: Email Fearbuster Exercises to your Client • FLTP Client: Email Prep Form to your Client (if need be) • Email Session Audio and Session Summary to your Mentor within 48 hours, if applicable • Aim to listen back to your Session Audio three times, to anchor and up-level your work

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