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TIDBITS® SAYS --

“YO, DUDE!”by Kathy Wolfe

This week, Tidbits is not only saying “Hey!” – we’re examining all sorts of words that begin with the letters yo-, everything from Yogi Bear to yodeling!• You’ve probably never heard the term vitellus, but it’s

the proper name given to an egg yolk! The yolk, which contains all of the egg’s fat and cholesterol, accounts for about one-third of the liquid weight of an egg and contains approximately 60 calories. The egg yolk might have a bad reputation for its cholesterol content, but don’t overlook the 18 amino acids, vitamins A, D, E, and K, and minerals calcium, iron, magnesium, phosphorus, and potassium that are all essential for various body processes.

• Can you yodel? If you’re able to make quick fluctuations between your normal chest singing voice and a falsetto, you can! The well-known “Yodel-Ay-EEE-ooo” features the “EEE” sung in the head voice, with the other tones sung in the chest voice. It’s believed that yodeling got its start as a method of communication between shepherds and their stock in the Swiss Alps. The technique was made popular again in recent years with a song featured in Disney’s 1994 The Lion King called “The Lion Sleeps Tonight.” Also known as “Wimoweh,” it was first recorded in 1939, then again in 1961. turn the page for more!

2 Tidbits® of Douglas & Elbert Counties InterestingStuffForAdvertisingCallTim(303)994-9683

Continued on page 7

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YO, DUDE! (continued):• When you open a carton of yogurt, do you know

what you’re eating? It’s a mixture of milk and cream that has been fermented with live bacteria at a warm temperature. Because your body needs to have a certain amount of “good” bacteria in the digestive tract, lactic acid-producing bacteria such as acidophilus are added to the mix. Nomadic Bedouins process camel’s milk into drinkable yogurt, and often live on nothing else for six months. Although yogurt has probably been around for about 8,000 years, the well-known Yoplait has only been existence for 49 of those. In 1964, a group of French dairy farmers agreed to merge in order to sell their goods nationwide. They linked the names of two of the farmers, Yola and Coplait to form their new brand Yoplait.

• The most important holiday of the Jewish calendar is Yom Kippur, which translates “Day of Atonement.” It’s a day set aside to repent from and atone for the sins of the past year. It occurs on the tenth day of the Jewish month of Tishri, which in 2013 will be September 14. Yom Kippur is a day of fasting, and traditions include no eating or drinking, no bathing, and no wearing of leather shoes. It is also customary to wear white on this day as a symbol of purity, representing the promise that “our sins shall be made as white as snow.” Back in 1965, Los Angeles Dodger pitcher Sandy Koufax made the news when he decided not to pitch the first game of the World Series because that day fell on Yom Kippur.

• Renowned cellist Yo Yo Ma was born in Paris to Chinese parents. He began studying the cello at age four, shortly before the family moved to New York City. As a child prodigy he began performing at age five, and at seven, performed for Dwight D. Eisenhower and John F. Kennedy.

• Baby boomers will recall a favorite cartoon character created by Hanna-Barbera in 1958. Yogi Bear made his debut in the animated Huckleberry Hound Show. In 1961, Yogi was given his own show, which featured his adventures in Jellystone Park, accompanied by his faithful companion Boo-Boo. They spent their days stealing “pic-a-nic baskets” from campers and outsmarting Park Ranger Smith. Yogi was full of self-confidence as he regularly proclaimed, “I’m smarter than the average bear!” Yogi’s character was modeled after the popular Honeymooners character Ed Norton, played by popular celebrity of the time Art Carney.

• Lawrence Peter “Yogi” Berra is considered one of baseball’s greatest catchers. Yogi, who played 17 years with the New York Yankees, was a 15-time

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Strange Noises – Is Your Cat Afraid?

Some cats adapt to common and strange noises instantly and some cats can never adapt to these sounds. Trying to soothe your cat may not work and these sounds may be feared life long.

Examples: Computers and printers can create fascination and fun for a curious feline. Turn on the printer and your cat may rush over to sit on it, lie on it and play with the paper as it comes out. Your cat may want to be your computer buddy every time the opportunity presents.Whereas your other cat flees in terror when you do computer/printer things. Cats respond differently to sounds depending on their personality, experiences and their survival instincts. Some cats can learn to accept the noise and some cats cannot.

Cats respond to noise differently than dogs. Dogs use ‘escape behavior’ to run away and hide from thunder and fireworks (freaking out!) whereas cats are scared of unexpected household noises from dishwashers, vacuums, and construction work retreat and hide. Less often do cats get frightened by thunder and fireworks or they will find a safe place until the disturbance passes.

Survival and genetics play a strong role in protecting the cat from harm. Some cats are genetically afraid of most things (such as a feral barn cat) and will never adjust to living with humans. Cats will retreat to a safe place and hide to survive.

Pleasure noises: opening a tuna can will bring your cat running from a sound sleep, sounds of play with other cats and opening the refrigerator. Cats adapt to positive noises very quickly and will teach owners to repeat these actions by purring, meows and seeking attention. Cat train people!

If your cat is a scaredy cat, let your cat retreat and hide in a safe place of his choosing. Your cat will usually come out when enough time has passed and it is safe to come out. This behavior is natural and this is what happens to cats in the wild. Luring your cat out of hiding by treats or playing with a toy can help soothe the situation. Desensitization with repeated exposures to the noise at low levels and gradually increasing will help adjust your cat to the noise as being normal. Again, some cats will never adjust to certain noises.

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20 QUESTIONSClassic Television Trivia

1. Can you recall the name of Fred Sanford’s deceased wife on Sanford and Son?

2. What was the nickname applied to Vinnie, Freddie, Juan, Arnold, and others?

3. Who was Darrin’s mother-in-law played by Agnes Moorehead on Bewitched?

4. What was the heavenly name of Jim Rockford’s unreliable informant on The Rockford Files?

5. Can you remember the first name of Dr. Hartley’s receptionist on The Bob Newhart Show?

6. Who played Dr. Welby?7. What was Laverne’s last name on Laverne &

Shirley?8. Who owned WKRP?9. Name the Eight is Enough son played by Willie

Aames.10. Name the actress who played Jamie Somers on

The Bionic Woman.11. What was the significant economic situation the

Waltons’ show was set in?12. What kind of animal was Bear on B.J. and the

Bear?13. Night _______________ is the name of the TV

show produced by Rod Sterling that premiered in 1970.

14. Can you name the playwright who wrote the original play The Odd Couple that later became a popular television series?

15. Who was Hawkeye’s “Swamp” roommate played by Wayne Rogers?

16. What was the family name on Eight is Enough?17. What was the name of the Sweathog played by

Ron Palillo on Welcome Back, Kotter?18. What kind of a pet did Baretta have?19. What was Lt. Kojak’s favorite candy?20. Who starred in both Quincy and The Odd Couple.

Answers: 1. Elizabeth 2. Sweathogs 3. Endora 4. Angel 5. Carol 6. Robert Young 7. DeFazio 8. Mr. Carlson 9. Tommy 10. Lindsey Wagner 11. The Great Depression 12. Chimp. 13. Gallery 14. Neil Simon 15. Trapper 16. Bradford 17. Horshack 18. Cockatoo 19. Lollipop 20. Jack Klugman

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Tidbits® of Douglas & Elbert Counties The Gem Advisor 5For Advertising Call Tim (303)994-9683

The Gem Advisor

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Moonstone Moonstone, one of June’s birthstones (along with Alexandrite and Pearl), has a mysterious shimmer like that of a bright summer moon. A lovely moonstone gem will play with the light and shadows using the discreet colors of beige-brown, green, orange, brown or blue making it an ideal stone for jewelry. Some call it a “lover’s stone” because it brings to mind soft, tender feelings and transmits the true joy of love. It is also believed that your intuition and wisdom are increased when you wear a moonstone. In India moonstones are regarded as “dream stones” that will bring the wearer delightful visions at night. In Arabic countries women are known to wear moonstones sewn into their garments and out of sight, for in their cultures the moonstone is a symbol of fertility. Moonstones with a bluish shimmer come from Sri Lanka. Since they are becoming more rare as the years go by, their prices are always increasing. Other less rare Moonstones are found in the USA, Brazil, Australia, Myanmar and Madagascar.

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THIS IS A HAMMERBy Samantha Mazzotta

Make Hay While the Sun Shines

Q: I always order a few cords of firewood in the summer, even though I will not likely need it until late fall. That way I can stack the wood the way I

like it and make sure it seasons evenly between now and winter time. And I don’t have to pay a premium or compete with all the other folks trying to get their firewood in the fall. Hope your readers find this use-

ful! -- Carl F., White River Junction, Vt.

A. Good tip! June’s milder temperatures are a great time to start outdoor repair and maintenance projects. In northern states, homeowners can begin

preparing the house for winter weather; in the south-east, the lull between spring storms and fall hurri-

canes gives people breathing room to shore up their homes and yards, and replenish emergency supplies.

If you have a fireplace, schedule a professional inspection and cleaning this month -- again, it will

help you beat the fall rush, and many chimney clean-ers offer discounts during the slow season. If you

have a septic tank, schedule its annual inspection for this month, too -- it may not need to be pumped out every year, but the tank and related systems, includ-ing the drain field, should be checked for small prob-lems before they become big, expensive problems.Outside, finish spring cleanup in the yard and gar-

den. Grab a ladder and a helper, and climb up to the roof to see if there’s a lot of debris or damage to the shingles, eaves or soffits. Visually inspect the gutter system for damage, debris dams, rust or other prob-lems. Again, the sooner you tackle smaller issues,

the less costly the repairs will be.Finally, get your air conditioner ready for the hot-

ter months. Change the air filter, and purchase a few more if necessary so you can change the filter every month until October. If the A/C unit hasn’t been in-

spected in a few years, have a professional come and do a complete system inspection, including the unit,

blower, vents and registers.

HOME TIP: Attach a gutter screen to the top of your home’s downspouts to reduce or prevent blockages

and damage.

Send your questions or home tips to ask@thisisa-hammer.com. My new e-book, “101 Best Home

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Celebrating 20 YEARS!!!

Tidbits Information Tidbits® of Douglas & Elbert Counties 7 For Advertising Call Tim (303)994-9683

YO, DUDE! (continued):

Tidbits of Douglas County

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All Star and was the American League MVP three times. He was later a player/coach for the NY Mets, a coach and manager for the Mets and Yankees, and a coach for the Houston Astros. As a player, coach, and manager, Yogi appeared in 21 World Series (14 years as a player). The Yankees retired his Number 8 jersey in 1972, the same year he was elected to the Baseball Hall of Fame. Yogi was well known for his witty comments, often called “Yogi-isms,” such as, “Baseball is 90% mental and the other half is physical.” When asked why the Yankees lost the 1960 World Series, he responded, “We made too many wrong mistakes.” A childhood friend gave Yogi his famous nickname, saying he looked like a Hindu snake charmer he had seen in a movie.

• The name of Denton True Young might not be familiar, but surely you’ve heard his nickname, Cy. Cy Young had a 22-year baseball career that started in 1890 pitching for the Cleveland Spiders. He moved on to the St. Louis Perfectos after eight seasons. Young established records that still stand today after more than 100 years, including most wins (511), career innings pitched (7,355), most career games started (815), and most completed games (749). He earned the nickname Cy after his fastball destroyed several fences. Reporters wrote that the fences looked like a cyclone had hit them, and the name stuck. The Cy Young Award, given to the leagues’ best pitchers, was established in 1956.

• The Yorkshire Terrier breed of dog was developed in the 1800s in the county of Yorkshire, England, to catch rats in clothing mills. The smallest Yorkie in recorded history was just 2.5 inches (6.35 cm) tall and weighed 4 ounces (113 grams). Famous Yorkie owners include Paris Hilton, Justin Timberlake, Britney Spears, and Vanessa Williams. Audrey Hepburn’s Yorkie Mr. Famous appeared with her in a scene in her 1957 movie Funny Face.

• The notorious Cole Younger Gang teamed up with the James Brothers in the 1870s and the eight-member band of outlaws went on a spree of train, stagecoach, and bank robberies. Their crimes came to a halt during a Minnesota bank robbery attempt in 1874. The James Brothers escaped, three other members were killed, and the three Younger brothers were captured. Cole Younger had been shot 11 times, but survived to serve 25 years in prison, after which he was paroled. During his prison time, he founded the longest-running prison newspaper in the U.S.

8 Information Tidbits® of Douglas & Elbert Counties For Advertising Call Tim (303)994-9683

Cindy Rose

This article was written by Edward Jones for use by your local Edward JonesCindy Rose, Financial Advisor2195 N Highway 83 #23 - Franktown, CO 80116303.688-2127 Member SIPC

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Help Elderly Loved Ones Avoid Financial Abuse It’s unfortunate, but

true: The elderly population may be the most vulnerable group in our society. In fact, in an effort to call attention to the problems of physical, emo-tional and financial abuse of the elderly, the United Nations has designated June 15 as World Elder Abuse Awareness Day. If you have older parents, or even grandparents, can you do

to anything to help prevent them from being victim-ized, especially with regard to their finances?

Actually, there’s a lot you can do. First and fore-most, you need to maintain good communications and a trusting relationship with your older family members. As long as these elements are present, you should feel free to make the following sugges-tions:

Increase awareness — When it comes to financial fraud and scams, many seniors think: “It can’t hap-pen to me.” But the facts suggest otherwise: Some 20 percent of Americans over the age of 65 admit to having been victimized by financial swindles, ac-cording to a survey by the non-profit Investor Pro-tection Trust. Let your loved ones know that no one in their age group is immune to financial predators.Guard private information — Ask your parents or grandparents to not divulge personal information over the phone. In fact, urge them to get caller ID, if they don’t have it already, and tell them that if they don’t recognize the number, don’t answer. Le-gitimate callers are more likely to leave messages than scammers.Don’t send money. Exhort your parents or grand-parents to never wire money to a random account — no exceptions.Ignore “limited-time offers” — Your loved ones should ignore callers, mailers or emails that demand they act immediately. These offers are often over-blown at best and may be fraudulent at worst.Don’t trust “no risk” offers — Financial offers that sound too good to be true are likely just that — untrue. Legitimate investments carry both potential risks and rewards.Avoid “debt-settlement” claims — If your older loved ones have debt problems, they may be es-pecially susceptible to offers that claim to “clear up” all their debts. But there’s no quick fix to this problem and any caller who claims otherwise is likely being deceitful. Encourage your parents or grandparents to discuss their debt situation with an honest, professional debt counselor or a financial advisor. Here’s one more thing you can do to help your par-ents or grandparents avoid financial fraud: If they don’t already work with a trusted, qualified finan-cial professional, introduce them to one. If your parents have a relationship with such a professional, they will be less likely to listen to any question-able, unsolicited offers than if they were trying to manage their finances on their own.

You’re in a good position to know how much, or how little, help your elderly loved ones may need in terms of avoiding financial abuse. So be willing to do whatever it takes to help them enjoy their retire-ment years comfortably.

Classified Page Tidbits® of Douglas & Elbert Counties 9For Advertising Call Tim (303)994-9683

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STRANGE BUT TRUEby Samantha Weaver

¥ It was architect Frank Lloyd Wright who made the follow-ing sage observation: “A doctor can bury his mistakes, but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.”

¥ If you take the free toiletries when you stay in a hotel, you’re not alone; fully 92 percent of travelers do so.

¥ In a traditional wedding in Fiji, the groom is expected to present the bride’s father with a tooth from a whale, and the bride gets tattooed before the ceremony.

¥ You might be surprised to learn that lightning isn’t con-fined to thunderstorms; the phenomenon can also occur in hurricanes, forest fires, volcanic eruptions and even serious snowstorms.

¥ What’s in a name? A great deal, it turns out, if you’re talk-ing about housing prices. Those who study such things say that a house on a “boulevard” is valued at over one-third more than the same house that has “street” in its address.

¥ Before the 1976 film “Star Wars” was released, the studio, Twentieth Century Fox, conducted some marketing research on the movie. The results? It was concluded that robots would turn off most viewers, and that under no circumstanc-es should the word “war” be used in the title. Obviously, filmmaker George Lucas ignored the advice.

¥ Idi Amin may be best remembered as Uganda’s corrupt and violent dictator during most of the 1970s, but from 1951 to 1960, he was that country’s heavyweight boxing champion.

¥ The literal translation of “karate” from the Japanese is “empty hand.”***Thought for the Day: “There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.” -- C.A.R. Hoare

(c) 2013 King Features Synd., Inc.

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10 Church & Community Tidbits® of Douglas & Elbert Counties For Advertising Call Tim (303)994-9683

Looking for a New Beginning?YOU ARE WELCOME TO JOIN US

A Friendly Place to Worship

new beginning Community Church

10550 S. Progress Way, Suite 100 Parker, CO 80134-4029

Sunday School for all ages - 9:00AM Coffee and Fellowship - 10:00AM Praise and Worship - 10:30AM Wed Eve Youth Group - 7:00PM

Small Groups Meeting throughout the Week AWANA for the Children during school year

E-mail: office@nbccparker.com – Phone: [303] 495-2949 – Web Site: nbccparker.com

Pinecrest Community Church is a fellowship of Christ-followers actively demonstrating our love for God by caring and loving one another and serving the communities we live and work in.

Do we always get it right? Nope. We freely admit that we're imperfect. We're all different, with different stories and different life struggles,but we come together as one fellowship under the grace and cross of Jesus Christ.

We invite youWe invite you to take this spiritual journey with us in a casualatmosphere of fellowship, worship, and relevant Biblical teaching.

720-851-0265

LET’S JOURNEY TOGETHER

Center for Spiritual Living of Castle Rock

Sunday 10 a.m. Location:Castle Rock Recreation Center2301 Woodlands BlvdCastle Rock CO 80104

www.OurCenterforSpiritualLiving.org

Are you on a Spiritual Path?

Answers on page 5

10431 Park Glenn Way - ParkerS. Parker Road & Plaza Drive

303.840.2800

Please see our ad on page 1 of Tidbits720-870-950010470 S Progress Way #100Parker, CO 80134

Ask the Dentistby Dennis L. Burgner, D.D.S.

Master, Academy of General Dentistry

The Problem with Wisdom Teeth

1.) How did “Wisdom Teeth” get their name?Wisdom Teeth (Third Molars) develop behind the first and second permanent molars in each quadrant of the jaw or mouth (Upper Right, Lower Right, Upper Left, Lower Left) areas. The third molars’ common nickname is age-related. They usually try to erupt into the mouth between the ages of 17 and 21, when people become “wiser”. Thus they earned the name “wisdom teeth”. What is an “impacted” wisdom tooth?2.) “Impacted” refers to a tooth that has not fully erupted into a functional relationship with the other teeth in the jaws. An impacted tooth can be either partially or completely covered by bone and gum tissues. Sometimes the wisdom teeth develop at odd angles within the jaw bone, and may even butt up tightly to the next molar forward. For the wisdom tooth area to be healthy, it should be fully erupted and have enough room for the gum around it to be firm and tight around the tooth. 3.) I am twenty-two years old and still have all my wisdom teeth. My dentist wants to take them out, but they don’t bother me. Should I go ahead and have them out? You will be very lucky to never have any problems with an impacted wisdom tooth. Having wisdom teeth removed before they get infected is often the best preventive treatment. Your dentist can evaluate with a special x-ray that shows all the jaw and teeth position and structure, and then discuss with the benefits versus the risks of removing the wisdom teeth.4.) Why does the gum around my wisdom tooth become swollen and painful?The crypt where the tooth is located practically always has a loose gap or flabby pocket in the gum that lets food particles to get stuck and bacteria from the mouth accumulate under the gum. The tiniest food particle becomes a huge feast for a nasty bacteria bug. It’s a perfect place for a Roman Bacteria Orgy banquet: It’s warm, dark, and moist. The tiny morsel is so big he needs help, and calls in his friends. The party is on – they eat, they drink, and they “multiply”. Pretty soon the bugs all need to go to the bathroom, and they “poop” and “pee” right there in the dining room. Graphic? Yes, but essentially, that’s what happens. 5.) What happens next?Infection! As more banquet “by products” accumulate, the dining

room becomes a stinky open sewer. Pus develops in the surrounding bone and gum. The gum and cheek swell up and get really sore - Pain and Misery! The dentist will then have to call in the Swat Team (antibiotics) and sometimes “drain” or clean up the mess. Don’t wait that long. The best approach is to get them checked BEFORE the party begins.

6.) When should I get my wisdom teeth out?Typicallybeforetherootsoftheteethcompletetheirdevelopment,and

do“curly cues” in the bone. Root development normally finishesup during the late teen age years. Removal of the wisdom teethis usually simpler and less complicated when the roots aren’tcompletely developed. They can be removed at any age, but a“young” body usually heals faster than an“older” body. See yourdentistfortimingrecommendations.

Please send in your questions. You can Ask the Dentist by calling Dr. Burgner at 720-870-9500, or consult the website: www.ParkerLumineers.com

Dr Burgner has served on the Fellowship Examination Committee of

the Academy of General Dentistry (AGD), and received national recognition awards from that 30,000 member organizaation. He has also been recognized in the local magazine 5280. He practices General Family and Cosmetic Dentistry in Parker, Colorado.

Moments in Time Tidbits® of Douglas & Elbert Counties 11For Advertising Call Tim (303)994-9683

MOMENTS IN TIMEThe History Channel

¥ On June 21, 1916, the controversial U.S. mili-tary expedition against Mexican revolutionary Pancho Villa brings the United States and Mexico closer to war when Mexican government troops attack U.S. Gen. John J. Pershing’s force at Car-rizal, Mexico. The Americans suffered 22 casual-ties, and more than 30 Mexicans were killed.

¥ On June 22, 1937, Joe Louis wins the world heavyweight boxing title when he defeats Ameri-can Jim Braddock in an eighth-round knockout. Louis was the first black heavyweight champ since Jack Johnson, who lost the title in 1915.

¥ On June 20, 1947, Benjamin “Bugsy” Siegel, the man who brought organized crime to the West Coast, is shot and killed. In 1945, Siegel had built the Flamingo Hotel in the middle of the desert, in what would become Las Vegas, with $6 million of the mob’s money. When the hotel wasn’t immedi-ately profitable, he couldn’t pay the money back on time.

¥ On June 17, 1958, a bridge being built to con-nect eastern and northern Vancouver in western Canada collapses, killing 59 workers. The Second Narrows Bridge was 175 feet above the water at its highest point.

¥ On June 18, 1983, from Cape Canaveral, Flor-ida, the space shuttle Challenger is launched into space on its second mission. Aboard the shuttle was Dr. Sally Ride, who as a mission specialist became the first American woman to travel into space.

¥ On June 19, 1972, the U.S. Supreme Court rules against Curt Flood in Flood v. Kuhn, deny-ing Flood free agency as a baseball player. Flood was trying to break the reserve clause that had tied baseball players to one franchise since the establishment of professional baseball. Today, free agency is as much a part of baseball as Cracker Jack and hot dogs.

¥ On June 23, 1992, Mafia boss John Gotti, nicknamed the “Teflon Don,” is sentenced to life in prison. Moments after sentencing, hundreds of Gotti’s supporters stormed federal courthouse in Brooklyn and overturned and smashed cars before being forced back by police reinforcements.

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Relay for Life 2013Elbert County

*FREE EVENT*

Come and join over 22 teams in this once a year, FREE FAMILY EVENT to support the fight against cancer. The event will be held at the Elizabeth High School stadium on Friday, June 21st from 7 pm until 6 am on Saturday.

*Activities for all ages

*Live Bands & DJ all night

*Food, Prizes and more……

*FREE* survivor/caregiver dinner @ 5:30 pm before the event. Please contact Marci Jantz 303-408-3849 to RSVP.

Come and support your local community and businesses as we join together in the fight against cancer.

*Elbert County Relay For Life Committee 2013*

Laugh Lines Tidbits® of Douglas & Elbert Counties 12

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HILL LAW OFFICE, P.C.Lawrence R. Hill, Attorney at Law

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Lawrence, Kansas, December 12, 2008

A Kansas farm wife called the local phone com-pany to report her telephone failed to ring when her friends called - and that on the few occasions, when it did ring, her dog always moaned right before the phone rang.

The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or senile lady. He climbed a telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the subscriber's house.

The phone didn't ring right away, but then the dog moaned and the telephone began to ring.

Climbing down from the pole, the telephone re-pairman found:

1 . The dog was tied to the telephone system's ground wire with a steel chain and collar.

2. The wire connection to the ground rod was loose.

3. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling cur-rent when the number was called.

4.. After a couple of jolts, the dog would start moaning and then urinate.

5. The wet ground would complete the circuit, thus causing the phone to ring.

Which demonstrates that some problems CAN be fixed by peeing and moaning.

Seniors

Two young businessmen in Florida were sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be new store in the shopping mall. As yet, the store's merchandise wasn't in -- only a few shelves and display racks set up. One said to the other, "I'll bet that any minute now some senior is going to walk by, put his face to the window, and ask what we're selling." Sure enough, just a moment later, a curious sen-ior gentleman walked up to the window, looked around intensely and rapped on the glass, then in a loud voice asked, "What are you selling here?" One of the men replied sarcastically, "We're sell-ing Jackasses." Without skipping a beat, the old timer said, "You must be doing well. Only two left."